2012
by ORBSyndicate
Summary: In a crossover of vast proportions, the year 2012 brings many worlds together. It will be the most amazing crossover of all time, taking from many science-fiction and mysterious supernatural shows, books, and other worlds. With other stuff thrown in just for fun.
1. Prologue

**AN:**

 **GM: welcome first time reader to the amazing story known as 2012! A crossover of vast proportions! I, along with the ever growing OrbSyndicate, will write this as we see fit. There will be codes, secrets, and all sorts of that. But other than that, this is just an immensely long serial story, of the year 2012.**

 **The crossover section this story sits in will constantly change. First it was Battlestar Galactica x Stargate SG-1. The current crossover will generally be two universes involved in the most recent chapter. So if you came here while we had a "Gravity Falls x Avatar: The Last Airbender" crossover, be prepared to wait a few chapters before that actually happens. (and as new shows get added, we may use crossovers that are not mentioned until much later.)**

 **UPDATE: The Prologue has been updated to be read easier by first time readers. Explanations and descriptions of characters and elements from the fandoms. Its reasonable to assume that any given reader won't know every fandom included. Anyway, begin reading dear reader.**

/accesMinds

/(int)mindsLocated

/begin.2012

/println("Three years ago they left, hoping to avoid reality")

/println("They found something else entirely")

/println("Now, three years have passed")

/println("The time has come for everything to be set in motion...")

/println("Soon, a group of explorers will come home, and a fleet will be formed")

/println("And the wheels turn...")

/start

/errors: 0

December 31, 2011

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

The countdown had begun. The clock was ticking down towards the new year. The anxious crowds had all gathered in their various places. The couples were holding hands, each awaiting the special time. The others held their glasses with bated breath. The countdown had begun. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…. As the clock struck midnight the world erupted in festivities.

However, the new year also brought forth a new era in the history of the multiverse. The worlds would never be the same.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

General George Hammond sat down in his big chair, anxiously tapping his desk.

He was an old man, balding and slowly gaining weight over the years. He had one of those faces that could look welcoming and warm one moment, and extremely angry the next. In his case, being old did not make him look weak. It actually may have made him seem more steadfast. He was one of those old Generals who should have retired long ago, but circumstances kept him in service. He had been in charge of the base when the stargate activated for the first time. Back then, there had been no SGC. No SG teams. He was just sitting there until he retired.

Now, seven years later, he couldn't imagine even having a retired life. This was his life now. Commanding officer of the top secret Stargate Program. The Goals of the program were simple: seek out new life and new civilizations. To acquire alien technology for use in furthering the development and defenses of Earth. They had had some success, a spaceship, the Prometheus, had been built. Hammond had been there during all of it. He was the General, after all.

He whirled around in his chair, staring out the plasma-proof glass, at the tremendous ring that was the stargate. It was a dark grey, and engraved in many strange symbols vaguely resembling constellations, with nine orange chevrons around the edge. The alien device could portal anything that could fit into it to other worlds, including people.

Currently, a blue phone box was plugged into it.

Hammond stared at it, even though it had been months he was still not quite used to the strange phone box sitting there, possibly allowing for his team to one day come back. SG-1 was not only the best team they had, but they were old friends at this point. They had been there just as long, if not slightly longer, than he had.

He looked at the gate longingly. The new year was coming. He should be at home, with his granddaughters. But being in charge of the best kept secret in US history didn't allow for much free time. He had been celebrating New Years with the personnel, but many of them had passed out. It was largely quiet now.

He watched the main computer screen that was supposed to be counting down until the next year. Walter had set it up, thinking it would be festive. Hammond hadn't even noticed that it had hit zero.

Apparently Walter hadn't either, pressing the "confetti" button a little too late.

But the timing was absolutely perfect.

Just as the confetti exploded, the Stargate began to turn, rotating.

Hammond stood to attention. "Incoming Wormhole!" Walter yelled over the intercom.

Hammond stared. It was dialing in faster than normal.

And it had already dialed in eight symbols.

Hammond raised his eyebrows. Were the Asgard dropping in?

Then the gate hit the ninth chevron, activating a strange flat purple field.

Walter blinked. "Receiving SG-1's IDC sir."

Hammond grinned, quite unlike him. "Let's welcome them home!"

Out walked Colonel Jack O'Neill. He was an older man who, despite his age, had a young and mischievous air about him. With a spring in his step, he leapt into the room, spreading his arms to the SGC. "HELOOOOO CAMPERS! It is GOOD TO BE BACK! Now General, I know you're going to want a serious debrief, but to sum it up, we helped stop a war, possibly start a war, made friends, got some intel, and all in all had a really tough time getting back. I want a shower before debriefing if you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all" Hammond said over the intercom.

"Great! Please treat our friends with respect. They'll appear over Earth in about five seconds."

"WHAT?"

"Oh and we have some kids with us. No biggie, you understand." O'Neill turned to his radio. "HEY GUYS! you can come in!"

The people who came through seemed absolutely bizarre.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

"DRADIS CONTACT!"

Admiral Adama groaned, the deepness of his voice drawing the gaze of the crew. He leaned back, cracking his old bones. Just what the needed. He adjusted his glasses. "What the frak is it this time?"

"Unknown. In a flash that seemed like an FTL jump 8 ships have appeared. None are Cylon in design."

Adama blinked. More unknown things. Absolutely wonderful. "Any signs of hostility?"

"None. We are being hailed by one of them however-"

Adama's XO, Saul Tigh grumbled. "Great. Talking. This should be good."

Adama turned to his bald eyepatch-wearing friend. "You seem to be in an especially sour mood today Saul. Answer them."

Over the radio they heard a voice of a man. "I am Captain Piccard of the U.S.S. Enterprise. I don't know what's going on, but we do not wish for a conflict."

"We?" Saul asked.

"There are four of our ships here. Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and the Defiant."

Adama furrowed his brow. "What of the other four?"

"Unknown."

A lieutenant tapped Adama on the shoulder. "Thrace is calling from the… room."

Adama sighed. "Saul, deal with this, I've got a call to check…" He picked up the phone. "What is it Kara?"

The voice of the young female fighter pilot met his ear. "It's Sam. He's started repeating the same thing over and over. 'Tell Adama to beware Q.' Don't ask me to explain it…"

Adama groaned. The last thing he needed was for that brain-damaged cylon to start spouting more prophetic nonsense-

-then he was suddenly standing somewhere else entirely.

A strange man with an aloof look on his face was grinning at him. He appeared to be middle age and was wearing some strange red uniform. "Ah hello all you various people! I am Q. Welcome to the new fleet! We're going to have so much fun together!"

Adama looked around. He was not the only one in this strange place. There were others.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Q, why did you have to go and do that?"

"Destiny!"

"I seriously doubt that"

"Okay it was because I was bored and I didn't' like my favorite future not coming to pass. The world will be so BORING without ol' Jean Luc around."

"I like this guy. Seriously, look at him! he's so FUN! Unlike the rest of you!"

"Your death will be swift."

"I'm not entirely sure if any of us can actually die…"

"Thought you were all-knowing?"

"Thought YOU were!"

"Well I am. It must be really confusing to people looking in on this realm because they can't tell our voices apart."

"No-one else can see this place."

"She can."

"She isn't a problem."

"Yes she is. I want her gutted, killed, and thrown into a world of utter and complete torture."

"I suspect you do. But I won't allow it."

"Not used to sharing power are you? Just three years ago you were the only one here…"

"Shut up. All of you. The time has come, things have been set into motion."

"Ah, but the motion of what?"

"The end of everything."

"2012 huh? Cliche."

"Ah but Q my friend, cliche is just what we need is it not?"  
"I suppose…"

"You both are morons."

"We know."

"Anyway, let the games begin!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

In these few minutes, some twins celebrated with fireworks, a man waits for his partner, two agents are walking around for no reason, a giant ball dropped from a building that looked like a sewing machine, an alien plotted his vengeance, an alien thought of his redemption, and the universes drifted closer together.

It had begun.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

CFSB LC PBSBK JBQ

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN: and that is the prologue to 2012, an amazing mega crossover of a ton of Sci-Fi and Mysterious shows, along with other random things thrown in as we see fit. This will be an epic tale taking place over the year 2012 and will cover the fate of many universes.**

 **It will take a looooooong time to write. But hey, we'll work on it.**

 **GM - the first chapter will hopefully be out within a week. It's already ridiculously long, so don't you worry about not getting much content.**

 **On the main profile there is a link to a "conspiracy wheel" image relating to the story. :3 It means something. I'll love to see what you guys think it means. Muahahhaha...**

 **Also reviews appreciated. AND SHARE THIS STORY WITH YOUR FRIENDS. And keep in mind that the crossover options will change every few chapters, so you can't just go searching for this story every time. You should probably bookmark it. Or follow it. Or just bookmark the ORBSyndicate page and go from there.**

 **OP - Reader, you are about to enter a world of chaos with which you are unfamiliar. Tread carefully, but most of all...**

 **Have fun and enjoy.**

 **Everything will make sense**

 **Eventually**


	2. January 1: Daybreak

**AN:**

 **OP -** **Well, THIS WILL BE GOOD! Can we not see the massive storyline that we have in place? Can you really? Look a little closer. Now look away. Look back. Look a little closer. Tear this to pieces to let us know what you think.**

 **GM- Okay. This is really. really. really. long. The problem with basing the story in 'days' rather than chapters. Some will be short. Some will be ridiculously long. (December in particular…)**

 **Also, excuse OP and his old spice fascination. Should've called him OS instead...**

 **Anyway, for those curious, Battlestar Galactica is taking place during the finale, Daybreak. The Star Trek ships have concluded their TV / movie journeys (with Data either surviving or simply being repaired.) Farscape was taken from the season 1-2 bridge. Firefly is post-Serenity. Stargate is season 7 (yes I changed the years in the timeline. It's 2012 okay?) Avatar is after the end of the Hundred Years War. Fringe is beginning of season 2, x-files is after the movies but before the new series (whenever that comes out)**

 **Also, I apologize in advance for my horrid attempts at writing Firefly lingo.**

 **Anyway, enjoy! you can't say there's not enough content! XD**

 **((ALSO. ANYWAY. ALSO. ANYWAY. the chain will never end. perhaps thrown in an OKAY form time to time.))**

January 1, 2012 "Daybreak"

Q sat back, his red starfleet outfit following his stretch. "So! People's form various times and places within the multiverse, welcome to your new home for the moment!"

Adama was bewildered. "What happened?"

Picard, a bald man in a uniform similar to that of Q, spoke up. "Q! Stop this nonsense! What do you want this time?" Adama recognized his voice from the radio. It was a commanding voice, and the man's stature indicated that he was not only used to commanding and leading, but dealing with the odd fellow in front of them as well.

Q shrugged. "Well Jean-Luc, unfortunately something bad happened. All the Q but myself have seemingly vanished, and the timeline's been messed up. Had I done nothing, you would have alllll ceased to exist!"

Piccard blinked. "What are you saying?"

"I reckon he's sayin' that you were displaced out of your time, stranger." A newcomer said, adjusting his gun holster. He looked like something straight out of a cowboy movie. "Name's Mal. Good to meet y'all. Now excuse me mister Q, I'm not a fan of having a letter of the alphabet taking me, my ship, and my crew to-"

Q interrupted. "Nice Mal, Nice, but i'm having my time with Jean Luc here."

Mal glared. He was a man used to powerful people giving him annoyances. He had long ago discovered that the glare was a very useful tool in making those people annoyed in return. To his surprise, it seemed to have absolutely no effect on Q.

Another man laughed. He looked... normal. Like a regular human person in regular clothing. Though he had a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "Man I haven't seen a death glare like that since good ol' Scorpius was trying to pull information out of my brain-"

"JOHN CRICHTON!" The last person in the room yelled at the top of his lungs. Unlike the other five, who at least looked human, this man looked like a strange shriveled up man with strange circles glowing on the side of his tight black head cap. While Crichton had a slightly crazed look, this person had that look that looked downright megalomaniacal. "I WILL HAVE THAT INFORMATION ON WORMHOLE TECHNOLOGY YOU INSOLENT RAT!"

Crichton blacked up. "Woah nelly… This is not a good time Scorpius…"

Q shrugged. "I don't care. You can squabble. Makes it more interesting for me."

Scorpius ran after John, who ran away at top speed. "LITTLE HELP GUYS?"

Adama and Picard gave each other glances. They nodded. Piccard spoke up. "We are not going to get out of this by fighting! For now, can we please put aside any differences and get along?"

Adama nodded in agreement. "I propose that we all agree on a truce, for now."

Scorpius stopped chasing Crichton, giving all the people around him a very effective death glare. Q rolled his eyes. Too many of the people here were used to looks having effects on people.

Q sighed. "BOOOORING. Oh well I fully expect you to squabble a lot later. Now, let me make something perfectly clear. Jean Luc, your Federation doesn't exist and it never will in the way you remember it. Mal, your fancy star system was invaded by aliens a decade ago."

He then turned to Crichton and Scorpius "And you two argumentative babies? We're not in your galaxy. You didn't go through time, no, but still."

Adama looked at Q. "What have you done to us?"

Q grinned. "Guess what _Admiral,_ you haven't gone anywhere. I brought them to you. I figured your destiny could use a little rewriting. Say hello to Baltar and Caprica for me k? Tell them that Q is going to have such fun with their invisible friends."

Q clapped his hands. "Anyway, it didn't suit me for you all to start a firefight, so I all brought you here to tell you what's up. Have fun!"

Adama was standing back in the CIC of Galactica.

"Bill? You just flashed white there for a second-"

"Get me on the phone, and broadcast to the entire fleet."

Adama put it to his ear. "Everyone! Do not panic! We will resolve this peacefully! I propose a meeting on Colonial One, so we can sort out our differences. Please. Coordinates will be transmitted. We will figure this out."

He put the phone down.

"I'm want to talk to Anders before I leave Saul."

"Bill? You sure this is a wise move?"

"I don't want to try and explain what happened, Colonel. Just trust me."

"Okay sir."

[][][][][][][][][][]

"The worlds combine, disassemble, and end. There are seven of them. The wheels turn. Start main. Stock up on brown meat Mr Pines."

Kara Thrace stared at her husband, sitting in a vat of liquid. He was an artificial human, a cylon. And yet, she loved him just the same. Nothing would change that.

But Sam Anders hadn't been able to perceive the world normally since the accident. Now he was just like the hybrids, spouting stuff that may or may not have ever been relevant. He had once been an athlete, a man who took chances and had fun. His muscular physique was still there, but... they weren't doing anything. He never did anything other than speak. Didn't even turn his head.

Kara Thrace looked at the notes in her hand. The song. There was something important about it. She couldn't figure out what. It had led them on this journey, constantly being there, guiding them. There must be something in there...

Sam wasn't helping. He had just spouted the word "Terra" over and over again when she mentioned it the last time.

"Running down to the riptide. Running down to the riptide. Dashing down to the thornride."

Sometimes it just seemed like nonsense.

Adama walked in. He looked at Kara. She was young, average height, and blonde. The usual fire and defiance in her eyes was weak, as if she had run out of juice. It was saddening to see the fighter pilot like this. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine, considering. There just has to be some pattern…"

Adama paused.

"...end of line. introduce new variable. Five were there. Five golden oranges. Destiny changed…"

"Kara?"

"Yes?"

"Was what Baltar said yesterday true?"

Kara was silent, putting the notebook down. "Yes. Back on Earth I… found my body. With those dog tags on them."

Adama nodded.

"I don't know what I am, sir, but I'm sure as h*** going to continue doing my job."

"I know what you are Kara. You're the daughter I never had."

Kara stared in silence.

"...a moment shared, timing slightly different. the numbers…"

Adama looked at Sam. "I think about this a lot. Just four years ago, he was an excellent athlete and celebrity. Now, he's some kind of robotic prophet sitting in a tank."

Kara chuckled darkly. "We all have stories like that sir. I'm probably a zombie clone or something."

Adama put his hand on the tub. "Anders…?"

"Yes sir I'm up and ready for questioning. Throw the ball. The moment of perfection will arrive."

"What is Q?"

Kara turned in confusion. "Q sir?"

"Energy being from- end of line. Q continuum. Gaelin… her name isn't Terra Coordinates, Dorito. Q wants nothing more than a good time. Q has no reins. They cannot interact directly. Power flow, check, and complete. Hack the system, result in- I AM ERROR."

The last outburst startled Kara and Adama. Sam was silent, and he slowly turned to them.

"Q IS INSIGNIFICANT, A JOKER. SCORPIUS HOWEVER… OH AND THE REPLICATORS ARE COMING. CIAO."

Then Sam returned to normal. "-end of line. Error unknown. End of? Unknown. Replicators…"

Adama blinked. Then he turned.

He knew what he wanted. He knew who to watch out for.

Kara went back to her scribbling.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

There were four completely alien ships in Earth orbit.

The smallest was a strange, compact, metallic ship. It seemed rudimentary at best, like it had just been slapped together on a whim.

The second didn't even appear to be a single ship, a central spire with what appeared to be a miniature star in it had several other pieces orbiting it. It seemed the most majestic, as if it were put together by an artist.

The third was larger, and was seemingly made out of chunks of stone held together by a strange pinkish-purple glowing force. It had several design elements similar to that of a medieval castle, although the overall shape was a wedge.

The fourth ship, however, dwarfed all the others. It was a shimmering pristine silver, with blue light energy coursing all around it, showcasing the sheer complexity of the ship. It was long, had a blunt front with what one could only assume was some kind of big weapon, and three tremendous blue engines in the back. On it's sides were emblazoned two logos: one of a stylized purple H with seven colored dots on it, and the other being a giant teal X with a symbol of a ship of similar design in front of it.

It was also three kilometers long.

The Earth ship, Prometheus, being under 200 meters long, seemed very pathetic.

Colonel William Ronson was glad he had been specifically instructed NOT to shoot. He did not want to get in a firing fight with THAT. He believed he could take the small ship and the stone ship, and possibly the artistic ship, but THAT big thing could take any kind of attack Prometheus had. Even if they didn't have shields, and Ronson found it hard to believe that they wouldn't.

"Sir we're being hailed."

Ronson nodded.

On the main screen, an alien face appeared. Obviously female, her skin was completely white and her teal hair seemed to defy gravity. Her ears were shaped into two points, with no nose visible on her face. She was wearing an alien purple and silver uniform, embroidered with the purple H logo, obviously indicating a position of power. "I am President Janet Marlowe of the Hoseki System. I believe we are expected?"

Ronson nodded. "Indeed you are."

The alien president nodded. "I believe we are meeting on your ship? After all, we can't let your planet know aliens exist can we?" She smirked at this remark.

Ronson raised his eyebrows. This was a president who knew what she was doing, and not just a figurehead. She was also well aware of keeping big secrets from her population.

Ronson nodded. "We can beam you over if you wish."

Marlowe nodded. "You are receiving the locations of all the persons to beam over. Directly into the briefing room if you don't mind?"

"Not at all, madame president."

Marlowe chuckled. "Well at least your people are gentlemen."

Ronson nodded, and gave the order. He then called Stargate Command to ask who he was beam into the room.

They were just about to meet some new potential allies. And form the looks of their ships, he liked the idea.

[][][][][][][][][][]

"General-"

"O'Neill! They could have come here on the ship!"

"Well but General they were the ones volunteered to make the trip with us, you gotta understan-"

"They're a pair of fourteen year olds Colonel!"

Daniel Jackson sighed. O'Neill and Hammond were going at it again. Throw a sarcastic colonel with a serious general and they were bound to clash, even though they were friends. Course, Daniel had had his own disputes with the general before. He was a civilian, and therefore couldn't be reprimanded for voicing his opinion. Not that the general was likely to punish O'Neill for speaking his mind, but there were other people just looking for an excuse to get rid of SG-1. Daniel's arguments usually consisted of yelling about the rights of people, not being jerks, and appreciating the heritage of the various people they met. He argued for rights of others a lot. Odd thing for an aging crazy archeologist to be doing, he mused.

He turned to his teammate, Major Samantha Carter. Even though she was military, she was one of the brains of the operation like himself. She was the technical scientist, the one who looked at an alien device and said 'that's a bomb.' She was blonde, middle aged, and walked with confidence. Course she was sitting right now, but somehow even that carried confidence. "Sam… do you think the General will back down?"

Carter shrugged. "I'm not sure. I mean, I guess we'd been living in their world for a few months. It didn't even really occur to me that they were a bit… young."

Daniel laughed. Then he looked out the window at two of the girls they had brought back. They were sitting in hallway. Both had similar faces, overall shapes, and brown hair color. One was in a pink skimpy two-piece gymnastic combat outfit, her hair in a braid. The other was in orange monk clothing, had neat smooth hair, and light blue arrow tattoos on her forehead and hands. Presumably on the rest of her body as well, but that was covered up. She was in deep meditation.

Ty Lee cocked her head. "You feel any different?" She asked her meditating friend.

Jinora nodded slowly. "I am no longer in contact with the air here. It's strange, having to walk with your full weight."

Ty Lee rolled her eyes. "That's how the rest of us normal humans feel!"

Jinora shrugged. "I can however still sense spirits. And I feel like i'm connected to something, I just can't figure out what."

"Patema mentioned that some people here had psycho- psychi- uh… mind powers!"

Jinora nodded. "I think i'm picking up on that. For instance, the General in there may seem angry, but I'm getting the impression that he actually just has to keep up an appearance."

"That's… oddly specific…"

Jinora smirked. "I'm working on it. It'll get better."

Ty Lee sighed. "The powers still come from chi. I was able to block Patema earlier."

"Except that cupcake of hers." Jinora said with a smirk.

"I still say that thing is ridiculously creepy."

Jinora nodded. "There is a spirit in there. I wish we could get her to talk about it."

Ty Lee shook her head. "Don't bug her about it. Let's just have fun! This is a completely new world! Things are much different here!"

Jinora leaned forward and looked around Ty Lee. "Well… He's still the same."

The Doctor unplugged his TARDIS from the stargate. Then he slapped a triangular purple crystal on top. "There! No more need to use her! You can dial other realities anytime you want now! How about that T?"

Teal'C raised his eyebrow, the golden symbol on his forehead inclining slightly. "Indeed." Teal'C was tall, black, and had a look about him that conveyed complete seriousness. To people who didn't know him, simply looking at him sent chills down their spine. To those who did, even they had a hard time telling when we wasn't serious.

The Doctor grinned. "Now, I usually don't stay in the same time for more than a few days… But things are going to be happening here soon, so I think I'm going to stay! Major timeline changes are going to happen and I want to be here to see them!"

A teal-haired girl with a pink cupcake slung around her belt walked up. "Good! You're staying. I have missed your company." She was short, wore a small SG-1 uniform, and carried a gun. At first glance she would seem innocent, but if one were to look into her eyes they would see that they had seen much during her life.

"Sure I can't convince you to come with me again once I leave Patema?"

Patema threw her hair back and laughed. This head motion unlatched her hair, causing it to point upwards.

The Doctor and Teal'c smirked. Patema groaned. "Do you two have any idea how hard it is to keep anti-gravity hair in check?" She glanced at Teal'c's bald head. "Nevermind. Don't answer that." She let out a sharp breath before pulling on her hood to keep her hair down. Sometimes it was more of an annoyance than a help that her gravity was inverted.

They were about to continue their conversation when a voice spoke out over the comm system. "Will the three visitors come to the briefing room please?"

Patema, the Doctor, and Teal'c all shrugged. Patema hoped the General wouldn't kick them out.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

The General looked sternly at the three girls from another universe.

Ty Lee and Jinora looked somewhat nervous about being there.

The third one, a redhead who was at least eighteen, sat there in her black getup and sunglasses, having the whole "I look cool" thing going on.

Hammond sighed. "I've made my decision. You three newcomers want to join the SGC?"

Ty Lee nodded vigorously. Jinora nodded calmly. The third simply gave a thumbs up.

Hammond looked at them. "It'll take a lot of paperwork…" He muttered. "But we've regularly allowed offworlders to join. Teal'c being the first of course. The only problem will be that you two are underage."

The redhead spoke. "General, if I understand correctly, you can work with other nations of your world, and these different nations have different ages of adulthood. Why not simply consider their world's age that of a different nation?"

Hammond smiled. "Someone knows their politics. Miss Corduroy, did Doctor Jackson give you a crash course while he was away?"

Wendy Corduroy smiled. "Yeah, sure."

Hammond nodded. "You three are now members of Stargate Command. At a later date we will inform you of your responsibilities and how to use our weapons, but from what I heard, you probably won't need much training."

Jinora stood up and bowed. "Thank you General Hammond."

Ty Lee gave a smile and gave the General a hug. "Thank you! We won't let you down!"

The General was slightly taken aback.

Wendy chuckled. "Girls, come on, leave the old man alone. He's got to maintain his image."

The three of them walked out, visibly happy.

The General called down after them "Oh and we're having a meeting with your people on Prometheus. I believe they will like to hear the good news!"

Ty Lee squealed. "They are going to be so jealous!"

[][][][][][][][][][][]

President Marlowe stared at the faces around the table. Five worlds coming together at one table. The diversity was staggering.

Everyone was talking at once. There was bickering, rambunctious cheering, and lots of yelling.

She was glad that the people were getting to know each other, but they did need to get down to business.

She gestured to Kayz, a young human woman with ice blue hair in pigtails, to give her the megaphone. "People! We have things to talk about!"

Everyone quieted down.

"We are here representing our five worlds, and as much as i'd love for all of us just to talk and yell and have a good time, we do need to have an official record of these proceedings."

O'Neill laughed. "You want to have fun to and we know it!"

"Yes, colonel, I would very much like that. But my government, as well as yours, would like some neat reports."

O'Neill shrugged. "Fine by me."

Firelord Zuko stood up. O'Neill looked at the young leader closely. He was far, far too young to be in his position. He was maybe sixteen. There was evidence that he had suffered through much to get his position, the biggest piece of evidence being that half of his face had an ancient burn scar on it. "Why don't we let our newfound friends start with telling us about them?"

O'Neill looked towards Daniel. Daniel sighed. "Of course. I'm the one who does the talking…"

Daniel stood up. "I am here, along with the rest of my team, SG-1, to represent the Tau'ri, the people of Earth. Roughly ten years ago we found an alien device we call the Stargate. Seven years ago, we managed to activate the gate and discover that it could take us to other stargates littered around the galaxy. We started to explore the worlds and discovered that our history was vastly different than we thought it was. As it turns out, roughly ten thousand years ago our world was enslaved by a race of alien parasites known as the Goa'Uld, who took our people as slaves and spread them throughout the galaxy. They posed as gods and forced us to worship them. We here on earth rebelled, driving them out all those thousands of years ago. However, they took tens of thousands of us to be their slaves, spreading us across the stars. However, Earth was left alone, and we developed enough to figure out how to activate the stargate. We quickly found our old masters, the Goa'Uld, and we basically started a war with them. We have killed many of their leaders, Ra, Apophis, and Sokar just to name a few. We are still fighting the war against them, currently Anubis is waging war against the other Goa'Uld System Lords and us at the same time. And that's where we are now."

One of the ambassadors furrowed his brow. "How come they don't just attack you? From what I understand this is your only ship. They vastly outnumber you do they not?"

O'Neill chuckled. Well, the ambassadors weren't completely stupid at least. "That's right! They could come right in and stomp us out if they tried! Which they have by the way. But we are currently under a list of planets protected by some kind of Treaty."

Daniel nodded. "We have allies in a race known as the Asgard. They are one of the four members of the ancient Great Alliance. However, their resources are spread extremely thin. They cannot realistically protect all the planets under the treaty. It's mainly just a bluff. And Anubis's new ships have actually been successful in fighting Asgard ones, so the Goa'Uld are starting to test the limits of the treaty. We probably don't have long."

Marlowe nodded. "I can say that if this alliance goes well, we can leave one of our ships in orbit."

O'Neill clapped his hands. "FINALLY! possible allies who are willing to leave stuff around to help us! Everyone else is always too busy!"

Marlowe smirked. "You're welcome."

Another ambassador spoke. "What can you offer us if we ally with you?"

Carter stood up to answer this question. "We have knowledge of the stargate. We can give you addresses, coordinates, and we are well connected with many governments within the Milky Way galaxy. Granted, we outclass virtually all of them in technological level, but they can offer some assistance. And we have access to Goa'Uld, Ancient, and some Asgard technology, which we used to build Prometheus here."

"Ancient?"

"A race that preceded us. We are actually their children in a way. They built the stargates, as well as many other advanced technological devices. We are currently reverse engineering them."

This seemed to satisfy the ambassadors.

Daniel pushed forward an information pad. "This has information on the various nations found on our world and a more detailed account of our history. Keep in mind that only a handful of nations on the earth know about the stargate and the rest of the galaxy. The general population has no idea we are in a war."

This caused murmurs to spread.

Marlowe held up her hand. "I think we can all understand the need to keep citizens from panicking. As long as you tell them after the war is over."

Daniel nodded. "That was always the intended plan."

Marlowe nodded. "And if there are no further questions, let's turn to the Elemental Nations."

Firelord Zuko stood up. "I am Firelord Zuko, chosen to represent the leaders of the seven elemental nations. On our world, a few in the population are given the ability to bend one of the elements. We thought there were only eight, fire, water, earth, air, lightning, sound, metal, and plant. Recently we have discovered time benders and tales of the ancient spirit benders. And always, there is one person on the planet, the Avatar, who can control all the elements. The Avatar's job was to maintain peace and to form connections between the nations and the spirit world. We split up into seven nations, the lightning benders and metal benders forming a single nation, and all the others separating. After thousands of years of peace and harmony my forefathers decided they needed to conquer the entire world, for no reason other than to seize power. The greatest threat to the fire nation was the Avatar, so the first strike was to completely wipe out the Air Nomads, the place he would appear next. As luck would have it, the Avatar was the only airbender that escaped, by encasing himself in ice. A hundred years after that, the war continued to rage on. We were fighting just because that is what we had been taught to do all our lives. Sometime around this time, the 'Stargate' as you call it activated for the first time, bringing in all manner of strange people. I still don't know who all of them were, or we've even found them all."

Marlowe looked apologetic at this. "Sorry, that was our fault. We were on a world where a big robot was going around killing things. At the end, the stargate activated and some of my people went through. Along with several others…"

"Including myself!" A fat bald man with a big brown mustache said. A large brown mustache. O'Neill wondered if it was alive. "I am Doctor Eggman, current head of the Scientific Department in the Tech Republic. I helped build our ship out there, the Starshock. It is our first ship. Ohhohohoho! Isn't she a beauty?"

Zuko put his hand up. "Let me finish Doctor." He sighed. "Then, roughly three years after that, SG-1 and the Doctor came through. At the same time, the Avatar awakened from his sleep-"

O'Neill interrupted. "And with that, after a few months of planning, plotting, making allies, waging war, and doing a lot of dumb things, we threw the Firelord into a prison, and ended the war! Then we came home."

Zuko nodded. "And during those months we made contact with everyone at this table."

Eggman stood up again. "The Elemental Nations are currently allied with one another, and we desire to offer you the ability to have things manufactured in our universe. Our workers can bend the elements at will, significantly improving the rate at which goods can be produced."

Carter thought quietly to herself. This was true, people like that could significantly increase the production process. They could probably make several ships in just a few months.

Everyone seemed on board with this.

A young woman dressed in a royal pink dress stood up. Her presence just screamed 'royalty.' "I am queen Zelda the one hundred and thirty-eighth." She adjusted her tiara. "Our story is more of peace. We are the largest kingdom on our planet, and the only threat we face comes from the dark king Gannondorf. He has been inactive for the last decade though. Recently we were contacted by the Elemental Nations and the Hoseki, which allowed us to weave spells to create our own ship, the Goddess. We seem to be one of the few worlds to have an extensive knowledge of magic-"

Carter coughed. "Sorry but there's no such thing as magic. Usually it-"

Marlowe sighed. "I'm going to try to explain this… I barely understand it myself. The entire cosmos is filled with a fabric of interlocking particles known as the thaumic fabric. This fabric is highly reactive to certain kinds of mental waves. Simply by thinking and exerting some effort, this fabric will react and change the very strings that make up the universe. It's actually much more complicated than this but you get the idea. The fabric is spread very thin in this universe, however."

Carter blinked. She didn't have a way to argue with this. After all, she had seen people who had developed strange abilities. Perhaps this was the explanation. Plus, the benders. She still didn't grasp the idea of thaums though.

Marlowe smiled. "The fact is, it isn't real magic. It's a science. Real magic would have no explanation, could not be measured, and would come from outside all reality. Thaumic manipulation is just an extension of the mind."

Queen Zelda blinked. She was surprised that Marlowe seemed to have such a deep understanding of how magic worked.

"If no one else is going to speak, can I?" A tall woman in a light blue dress said.

"Go ahead, Rosalina." Marlowe said.

Rosalina nodded. Her hair was light blonde, and reminded O'Neill of stars. In her hand was a wand with a star on the end. Obviously obsessed with stars. "Eons ago, our universe was in chaos, and destruction. The Five Galaxies were in chaos and our ancestors, who I believe to be the Ancients the Tau'ri mentioned, decided to try an experiment. The Five Galaxies would continually recycle and reset themselves whenever too much chaos or pain arose. While this kept suffering to a minimum, it did prevent civilizations from developing much. So we were created, the five observers. Each of us were given a comet observatory, and were allowed to oversee the galaxies and how they worked. We have some marginal control over the resetting process. For the last few resets, I have kept a few worlds safe from being restarted. One is world inhabited mainly by mushroom people known as Toad's. They have developed marginal space travel, and other basic technological innovations. They are under a sort of protected planets treaty, much like you mentioned earlier. They may not be able to offer you much, for they are mainly peaceful. However, we, the Observers, can assist you with much. Our observatories are fully functional ships created by the last of the Ancients, representing the pinnacle of their civilization. We can cross an entire galaxy in mere seconds, and are able to map millions of stars and planets virtually instantly. We can basically scan entire galaxies at once. Our observatories are not, however, ships of war, but more science vessels. However from what I've heard I think we can take a Goa'Uld ship easily."

Queen Zelda spoke up. "Our planet lies within Rosalina's galaxy. It is under her protection as well."

Marlowe smiled. "Well that's four… I guess now it's my turn."

She stood up, realizing she was the only one in the room who was obviously not human.

"We come from another set of universes entirely. Roughly thirty years ago, dozens of planets, hundreds of moons, and a handful of stars were put together to form the Hoseki system, a place for all the people from all the universes to congregate and discuss alliances. Soon, we became our own nation, the most advanced the multiverse had ever seen. However, three years ago the System contained an entity of tremendous power who wished to destroy everything. The only solution we saw was to leave reality entirely. We took the entire system through a sealing wormhole, which would close behind us, severing all ties to the multiverse. However, instead of ending up in black space, we ended up in this multiverse."

O'Neill squinted his eyes. "this 'entity' you're talking about-"

Marlowe sighed. "He escaped within a week of our arrival here. We haven't seen much evidence of his actions since then though. He's probably just waiting."

Daniel stood up. "Is he a being of energy?"

"I suppose you could say that. We can't exactly classify what he is."

Daniel sat back. "The Ancients learned how to ascend into a plane of higher existence. Perhaps they are able to hold him back."

Marlowe furrowed her brow. "I do not know. While we do have energy beings in our multiverse, none exist with enough power to alter reality large scale. Well, most of them."

O'Neill sighed. "Great. A new bad guy on the block. They just keep getting worse don't they?"

"He is our enemy Colonel. You do not need to worry about fighting him. Anyway, we are here by accident. Our entire system was moved here, and we seek allies. We have far superior technology to any of yours, and we are willing to trade much of it. Why would we give all this to you inferior allies? Because we own only one system, and we don't plan on conquering any worlds anytime soon. Conquering isn't in our nature. While we are self sufficient, outstide powers mean we need outside allies. Eventually, someone is going to notice us and try to conquer us. It's just how things tend to work. On behalf of the Hoseki System, I extend my hands in friendship towards everyone here for an alliance. I do not believe anyone objects?"

Queen Zelda nodded. "It shall be done."

"You have my friendship." Rosalina declared.

Zuko stood up. "I can't talk for the other nations for sure, but the Fire Nation will ally itself with you, and I believe the others will listen to my reccomendation."

"You have the Tech Republic at your disposal." Eggman volunteered.

Daniel smiled. "I can't decide for my government, but I'm sure the answer will be yes."

Marlowe smirked at Daniel. "My only request of your United Nations right now is for you to call all your allies. We would like to meet them. In return, our ship, the Xyla, will stay in orbit protecting Earth."

Daniel smiled. "Not all the UN nations are aware of the stargate you know. But I'm sure all of them will accept this."

Marlowe clapped her hands. "Well then, i'll have my lawyers draw up a treaty. When we contact the Asgard we shall discuss the Protected Planets treaty. Until then, let's forget all the politics and just get to know each other for a while? We are going to be allies after all."

O'Neill clapped his hands. "This, gentlemen, is an example of a good politician. Unlike Kinsey." The rest of SG-1 visibly groaned at the mention of the name.

Daniel walked up to the Elemental Nation representatives. "We have accepted Jinora and Ty Lee into the SGC."

Zuko smiled. "Good. Wendy?"

"Her to, though there was some difficulty putting her on the paperwork. We don't know which world she's from."

"I can imagine. I've been firelord for a few weeks and already I'm finding that paperwork is excessively annoying."

Daniel sighed. "It's about to get a lot more complicated… anyway the three of them should be here shortly."

Zuko smiled. He was glad this had gone well. He had grown quite fond of SG-1 during their time together.

Nearby, Patema squaled. "Oh yes! You guys get an SG team! I wonder who the other members are going to be?"

Jinora smiles. "I do not know, but it will probably have to be someone who knows how the place works-"

Wendy creased her forehead. "Can't we have five members on the team? Why not two more?"

While they discussed their team, Zuko smiled.

The smile vanished instantly when Eggman walked up behind him. "They grow up so fast don't they?"

"You do realize, _Doctor,_ that I'm not a big fan of you."

"But of course. Although, you do admit I have brought much to your world."

Zuko clenched his teeth. "Yes. Which is why I can't just have you removed."

"Ohohohohoho! Exactly my young Firelord!"

He walked off, soiling Zuko's mood.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

Hammond received an "invitation to a conference of allies" who he was to send to all of the major SGC allies. It had many details about the new 'people' who had shown up, which would be sure to intrigue the Asgard and at least get them to send a representative. The Stargate made travel easy and fast. The meeting would hopefully be tomorrow, so the treaty could be edited if need be.

Hammond smiled. Things were looking up, seemingly changing for the better.

[][][][][][][[][][][][][[]

Ba'al grinned to himself. Scratching the scruffy beard of his host, he pondered his situation. Anubis was beating him back, and the Tau'ri were becoming more and more annoying. And yet, he may have just found his way out.

"My Lord! We have received word that the Tau'ri will be holding a meeting of allies. They've contacted several of our enemies."

Ba'al grunted. "Why is this important?" He said in the signature deep symbiote voice.

"Because there was a description of a new faction, with highly advanced technology-"

Ba'al glared at his first prime. Many Goa'Uld would kill their first prime on the spot for saying something that inconvenient. Anubis would probably kill if someone looked at him wrong. But Ba'al was smarter than that. He knew that people learned from failures, and perhaps a bit of a strict hand. Death would accomplish nothing. He would let him live. "Send me the invitation."

There was a list of allies to contact…. the Asgard being one of them. Ba'al noticed an entire section designed simply to entice the Asgard to come. It enticed him as well. Ba'al was odd for a System Lord. Most demanded that they be worshipped, and that everyone do their work for them, and very few bothered to try and understand the technology they used, or were any type of scientist. Ba'al, however, was a… progressive Goa'Uld. He actually didn't require worship, and he didn't kill his Jaffa that often. He took this persona on decades ago, when he realized that the Asgard should be trying to wipe the Goa'Uld out of existence, but they weren't. He determined that they were fighting their own enemy, and that when they either won or lost, either they would come, or their enemies. And Ba'al had determined that simply hoping everything would continue for thousands of more years was pointless. Ba'al's subjects generally liked him, and he generally treated them relatively fairly. Even with the Jaffa rebellions occurring, and the Tau'ri resistance driving all the other System Lords to tears, Ba'al had managed to keep his empire stable through the chaos. And he knew things were still changing. He would have to adapt again soon. And part of that meant being more diplomatic.

"Send someone to represent me."

"I figured you'd want to go yourself, M'lord"

"Jaffa, look in front of you. That spherical thing is a wormhole. A stable spatial wormhole. It leads to another galaxy. Through it, is a place for my empire to spread."

The Jaffa nodded, then went away to carry out his master's orders.

Ba'al grinned. He was planning a new empire. Brute force would no longer cut it.

He had a completely different idea in mind.

[][][][][][][][][][]

Manhattan, New York. A big city filled with sprawling buildings and people rushing from place to place like a bunch of mindless ants.

Two of these people are FBI agents who have just wrapped up another case, Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.

They were a couple, and they worked together. It was an odd situation to be sure. Mulder was a crazy conspiracy theorist, and Scully was generally the logical one. They had spent years of their life working a bunch of cases known as the X-files, unexplained phenomena, ghosts, aliens, and they saw many things no-one would ever believe.

Needless to say, they seemed to have a knack for attracting trouble.

That day, they came across a car crash. Local police were all over it.

"FBI agent Mulder." Mulder said, flashing his badge. "What happened here?"

One of the police shrugged. "This car crashed into a truck. The car didn't appear to have a driver. The driver of the truck ran off as soon as he crashed into the car."

Scully stooped down to examine the car. "There's tread marks here. The car was moving."

Mulder thought about this. "Either the car was remote controlled, or we have a ghost."

Scully chuckled.

Mulder looked over. "I wasn't joking."

Scully sighed. All these years, and she still didn't quite get Mulder.

"Who's this car belong to?" Mulder muttered.

"FBI agent Olivia Dunham" A man said, obviously annoyed.

Mulder and Scully turned around to see an odd pair, a young man with a beard, and an older man with a strange look about him. The older man poked his head into the car, looking around thoughtfully.

"Walter-" the younger man called out, before sighing and waving his hand. "Nevermind." He turned to Mulder and Scully. "What are you doing here?"

"Hunting down aliens." Mulder muttered.

Scully sighed. "We wrapped up a case and saw the crash."

"We work on the X-files. Unexplained phenomena. A car that moved without a driver certainly counts, although to be honest it isn't that weird. Try a weird boat in the middle of the ocean that tries to put you into a strange dimension that resembles an old movie."

The man blinked. "Well, good for you. I'm Peter Bishop and I work for the Fringe division."

Mulder thought about this. "You know your division did crop up in my research more than once. I envy your budget."

Peter rolled his eyes. "You can blame Walter for that. Regular mad scientist. He desires certain excessive materials for his lab."

Mulder blinked. "Scully, think we could get a mad scientist?"

Scully shuddered. "Good gosh no. The office would never be safe."

Walter backed away from the car. "EVERYONE BACK!"

Mulder, Scully, and Peter turned around to look at the car. They backed away slowly.

The car began to shake, and then a woman shot out of it at high speed, before smacking face first on the pavement.

"Ollivia?" Peter said, concerned.

Olivia moaned before passing out.

Mulder and Scully relaxed. "Well, Peter, looks like you're stuck with us. This just became an X-file."

"It's a Fringe case."

"How long have you been working these cases?"

"A year?"

"I've been doing weird stuff for decades. Watch and learn. First, you take the reasonable explanation Scully offers up-"

Scully pondered. "Secret car compartment?"

"-and then completely disregard it."

Peter called an ambulance.

Mulder poked around the scene some more. "Hey Peter.. what'll it take to get clearance to look at your files?"

"Nice try. Not happening."

"Oh you'd be surprised what I can do with enough time!"

Scully sighed. "Stick thirty pencils into the ceiling?"

"Scully! I'm a gentleman! I won't ruin other people's ceilings with pencils! No. I'll use pens."

[][][][][][][][][][][]

Admiral Adama walked out of the meeting room.

Well, at least he knew aliens existed now. That was something. Other than that he wasn't so sure.

Picard, the captain of the Enterprise ship, was the most reasonable. He had explained that they had dealt with this Q many times before. He was a trickster. Though he rarely outright lied, so Piccard was going to say that they really were displaced from time.

Adama trusted Piccard, and since Piccard seemed to have the most advanced ships, he was glad.

The crew of the organic ship, Moya, were a strange bunch. There were only a handful of them, and none of them seemed to have any real chain of command. He didn't view them as a threat of any kind, possibly a nuisance. The small leviathan ship, Talyn, had some kind of energy weapon, but it was small and could theoretically be dealt with if it went out on it's own accord.

Their enemy, Scorpius, however, commanded something called a Command Carrier. And that ship was a piece of work. It wasn't elegant by any stretch of the word, it seemed to be designed for killing and striking fear into people. As well as commanding. He had the sense that if the Federation ships weren't here, it would have opened fire already.

Then there was the Firefly vessel, Serenity. It didn't even have any sort of FTL system. It would have to piggyback in the fleet was going anywhere.

Adama was nervous. The only ships he had any control over were the Galactica and the Rebel Basestar. And the Galactica was falling apart, scheduled to be distributed piece by piece to the other ships in the fleet. She wasn't designed to be under this much stress constantly for four years.

He walked back into the CIC. "We got to an agreement Saul."

"And that is?"

"Since we're all hopelessly lost, we're going to combine fleets to look for a new home."

Tigh grumbled. "Well, I believe the Cylons won't be able to easily attack us anymore, but I'm not so sure about that command carrier…"

"If we find a new home, we make them go to the other side of the planet."

"Fair enough."

[][][][][][][][][][][]

Piccard sighed. "Data, have you determined where and when we are?"

The pale skinned humanoid android nodded, his silvery blue eyes glinting. "I have sir. We are in the Andromeda galaxy in the year 2012. January first to be precise."

"What a way to kick off the new year. Do any of the ships offer us any threat?"

"The Command Carrier has the capabilities to take out some of our ships, but not all of them"

"I hope that will keep him from firing on us… Do you know how the Colonial coordinate system works?"

Data nodded. "Yes, however thier FTL drives are instant travel, so we will always be at least a few seconds behind them. The drives do only have a range limit of only a few light years, so the delay will be acceptable. The other ships use something akin to the idea of hyperspace from science fiction shows of the past. The Serenity has no FTL capability. We are hooking up DS9 with a rudimentary warp drive. It will be slow, but adequate for temporary use."

Picard nodded. "Scan every system for habitability. See what we can find."

Data nodded.

Commander Riker poked his head in. Data's emotion chip hiccuped and he chuckled at the sight of the commander's beard. "Are we really going to give up on the Federation?" Riker asked, glaring at Data.

Piccard sighed. "Data has confirmed that we are deep in the past Number One. I think it's real. The one comfort we can get is that Q doesn't even know exactly what is going on."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So please, o great and powerful angels, what is going on?"

Spirit Caprica glared at Q. "What have you done? You have ruined their destiny!"

"I asked YOU a question!"

Spirit Baltar held his head. "I really wish the rest of your kind were still here so they could keep you reeled in…"

"NOT HAPPENING! I still want to know what's going on here o great messengers of God!"

Spirit Caprica twitched. "We are leading the colonials to their new home. They are almost there. Only now, they are going to have to share it. They won't break the cycle this time thanks to you!"

"OH so you really know nothing about why the timeline has suddenly changed?"

"Our capabilities do not include understanding of time. We can just… predict."

Q sighed. "I don't like being kept in the dark. Something has done this, and I want to find out what. Not sure if I'm going to try and kill him or thank him, but i'll figure it out when I get there."

Spirit Baltar groaned. "Can you please leave us now?"

"I don't think so! I think I'm going to toy with-"

Then the real Giaus Baltar poked his head around the corner. He was a nervous man. He had taken up the role of scientist, president, traitor, and prophet during his time on the Galactica. He was not the nicest person. But to be fair, the universe seemed to be continually working against him, making his life absolutely suck. And in front of him were the two leeches, plus another.

D***. He hated these angels. One looked like him, the other like a Cylon model Six. Complete with beautiful body and stunning face and alluring demeanor. The third one he had never seen before.

"There's three of you now?"

Q groaned. "You mean to tell me he can see you even when you DON'T want him to?"

Spirit Caprica glared. "We just haven't turned off his perception."

Giaus turned around. "I do NOT want to be involved in the arguments of your kind! Goodbye!"

Spirit Caprica yelled after him. "Remember, your people need a voice in the government!"

"Followers of the one true God is that right?" Q said, chuckling. "You do know he isn't God right?"

"Of course. He still deserves their worship."

"You know if there is a REAL God this is destroying their chances at eternal life right?"

Spirit Baltar glared at Q. "You watch your tongue when talking about him. He can-"

"Do what? Report me to the continuum? that doesn't exist anymore."

The Spirits glared at Q. "We will lead them on their path to their home and to God."

Q smiled. "Good luck!" then he vanished.

The Spirits grabbed their heads. This was going to be a headache.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

Scorpius was furious. He had a tremendous ship with over fifty thousand crew on board! It was covered with several large cannons and hundreds of smaller defense turrets! He had state of the art torpedos!

And yet, he knew, deep down, that he couldn't defeat those Federation ships and their station.

He would find a way to gain power.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

In the midst of all this distrust, two of the ships had made great friends with one another.

"So you were on your planet's early space program, and you got launched into another part of the galaxy?"

John Crichton laughed. "Yep! Just got hit by a solar flare and BOOM wormhole! Then I ended up here in this big living ship, Moya! Ain't she a beaut?"

Mal chuckled, and took another drink. "Ah! That hit the spot! What is this?"

John shrugged. "Something green. We have a lot of weird stuff in the cargo hold. Most of it isn't poisonous."

Then the two of them started giggling uncontrollably.

A woman tapped Mal on the shoulder. She was dark skinned and had a 'please kill me now' expression. "You're making a fool of yourself."

Mal laughed. "Come on Zoe! They're friends here!"

"You're also very drunk and not thinking straight."

John smiled at Zoe. "Hellllo there miss! You look amazing!"

"Not a chance you piece of space junk."

"Aw c'mon! give a man a chance!"

John got slapped along the side of the head with a gun. "You done flirting with the first officer of our friends?"

John turned around to look at the ex-peacekeeper, Aryn Sun. She was wearing all black and carrying around a rifle, as usual. "Come on Aryn! Drink! Have fun!"

"You do realize you're drinking one of the many Hynerian bodily fluids right?"

Both Mal and John took an instant spit take. Everyone around them started laughing.

Aryn however, was concerned. The people didn't seem to be too concerned about what was going on. Sure, they had gotten along just fine, but the tensions were rising throughout the rest of the fleet. She was afraid Scorpius or Crais would go crazy and try to size power.

Who was she kidding. She knew they would try. And they would stop them.

At that point, Rygel hovered in on his floating throne. "OH! That looks like an excellent vintage! Give me some!" He was a small alien, who obviously would have difficulty walking around if he didn't have the chair. He was also very ugly and fishy.

Mal and John stared at Rygel with a look of disgust.

Zoe blinked. She was still having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that she was talkng to a three foot tall alien. Who was apparently banished royalty or something.

Rygel smiled. "And now, does anyone wish to lose to me in a round of gambling?"

Mal smiled. "I will win you lil' coyote"

"What's a coyote?"

"Darn it.. I'm going to hafta find out new phrases aren't I?"

John laughed. "Oh yes! Yes you will! Or you can take my route and just continue using them, confusing the heck out of everyone."

"I like this guy!"

Zoe sighed. "This is great…"

Elsewhere on Moya, two siblings were looking at the amazing ship. The brother was handsome, wore clean clothing, and was very excited. "The technology here is amazing! Part organic! Absolutely amazing!"

His sister, River, grinned and laughed. While she seemed innocent, she had the look of someone whose mind wasn't all there. "She thinks you're cute, Simon."

"Who?"

"Moya."

Zan, a blue skinned hairless humanoid alien, turned to River. "Dear, how do you know that?"

River looked at her. "She thinks it. Her mind is big. Impressive." Then she laughed at something only she could hear.

Simon sighed. "She was experimented on. Her brain is a jumbled up mess of experiments and pieces. She has gained many… skills, but the rest of her isn't put together that well."

"I'm mostly fixed now Simon! I can fly the ship now without crashing into anything! Most of the time… Ooh and I can beat up hundreds of crazy guys at once!"

D'Argo laughed. He was a fleshy alien with flesh tails rather than hair. His physique and stance suggested a history as a warrior. "I doubt that very much. You are far too frail to have any sort of-"

River kicked out her leg into D'Argo's back, causing him to yell out, before sweeping his legs out from under him.

Zan laughed. "Oh D'Argo… you should learn not to test people."

"I was surprised!" D'Argo protested.

River laughed. "I went easy."

The doctor, the crazy girl, the priest, and the warrior all shared a moment together.

In the control room, two others were bonding.

"Sooooo Pilot! I want to know how Moya works. What her systems are!"

Pilot, a strange mushroom-capped alien, tapped several controls within his secluded control area. "Really? Most don't bother trying to learn the systems on their own. I know all there is to know and no-one ever needs to know anything else-"

Kaylee, a young girl engineer with a thirst for knowledge shushed him. "I don't care. I love to know how things work. Give me the spiel. The Whooooooole thing."

Pilot shrugged two of his arms, Kaylee's optimistic charm breaking through. "Well this here controls the life support, by twisting this knob here…."

In Moya's bay, another group were having a confrontation.

Jayne, a hired gunman, pointed his gun at the strange man. "I was told not to let anyone on the ship! Includes ya'all." Jayne was... unique. He liked guns. He liked to shoot guns. He liked things to go boom. So when strange men walked up, it took all of his restraint not to shoot them just for fun. Heck, it took some restraint not to shoot his friends for fun.

Ex-peacekeeper commander Crais looked behind him. "There's only one of me here…"

"Shuddup. I'm not getting fooled by the likes of you."

Inara appeared behind him, her dress flowing. "Jayne? What's going on?"

"This fella wants on this ship!"

Inara smiled, basically casting 'charm' on everyone who could see her with a look. "Whoever you are, would you please get off Serenity? Mal doesn't like cleaning blood off his ship."

"He doesn't like it so much he makes Kaylee do it for him!"

"Jayne!"

Crais raised his hands. "Fine, I'll leave. Nothing of interest in this piece of junk anyway. At least it's more advanced that Crichton's stupid pod."

He walked out, returning to his pod. He would go back to Talyn. At least the little Leviathan ship would listen to him.

And this was how the crews of Serenity and Moya formed their relation.

Serenity would travel inside Moya. It was a good deal.

Criminals have a way of bonding. It's weird.

[][][][][][][][][][]

The Cylons gathered around the little girl.

"She holds the key…"

Boomer sighed. She was a model Eight, the asian-looking female one. "Can't you just get what you need and leave her?"

The One raised his eyebrows. Male, old, grumpy. That was model One. Also, mild insanity thrown in for free. "Of course not. We're doing all the scans we can while she's alive, and then we'll take her brain out and examine it in detail. She's not going to survive that."

Boomer tensed, feeling heavy regret. There was this little girl, Hera, who meant so much to everyone. And One just saw her as a curiosity.

A voice came over the intercom. "One? A ship just appeared. It's not colonial."

"What?"

"Looks like a big pyramid. It's hailing us."

One looked around. "Fine, but train all guns on it."

A Face appeared on the water-screen. A middle aged man with a black scruffy beard and a mischievous glint in his eyes.

In a decidedly non human voice he said. "I am Ba'al of the Goa'Uld. I have been watching you for the past week. I believe now is the time for me to make contact with such… kindred spirits."

One raised his eyebrows. This was interesting. The ship was not of Colonial design, and yet this man looked human.

He would humor him, find out his secrets, before destroying him. He was just another human, despite what his voice may indicate.

"What is it you have in mind, Ba'al?"

[][][][][][][][][][][]

Kayz, a young woman with ice blue pigtails, walked with Marlowe.

Marlowe was smoking something. "Kayz, tell me, I'm 42. I'm reaching the end of my third and final term. What am I going to do next?"

Kayz smiled. "My people have an idea for that."

Marlowe raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You know you're not supposed to tell me until you actually make the offer."

"The Wingdings have always been slightly outside the law as you know."

Marlowe nodded, and took another puff of smoke. "I wonder what sort of mantle I'm handing over to the next president… I mean you ran things before me, and that was only until I was elected. This entire System has only had one president."

"That day is still months away."

"Still, Kayz, 15 years of my life have been poured into this."

Kayz nodded. "The System will always have you, you know this."

Marlowe started giggling. "You know you really really shouldn't tell me this. If I'm in one of my stupors and I start spouting out the information-"

"I could have Sivam wipe your memory if you wanted."

Marlowe took another puff. "Nah, I think this thing's going to do it for me."

"What is that anyway?"

"A mix of powdered Happystuff and that weird thing they have on this Earth called Smile Dip. There's currently a giant floating whale behind me."

Kayz blinked, and looked behind her. Of course, the hallucination was not visible to her. "Wow. How do you tune it out?"

"You get used to it after a while. Or maybe i'm just specially suited to it, I don't know."

Kayz paused. "Speaking of Earth…"

"They know more about this universe than we do, and they do have several allies worth speaking to."

'But… do we tell them about-"

"No. They think they are the origin of humanity. They won't be happy if they see that planet." Marlowe giggled again. The Happystuff was keeping her from keeping much of a straight face.

Kayz nodded. "They allow people from other walks of life to join the SGC, as long as they pledge against the Goa'Uld."

"Oh we have to meet them first before declaring war on them, but I think we can easily take care of them. Our ships are almost certainly more advanced to the regular ones."

"But they heavily outnumber us."

Marlowe giggled once more. "Your people always have a way of crushing bigger enemies."

Kayz smiled. "Indeed."

Marlowe turned to look out the window at Earth. "They have a legend that the world will end on 2012"

"Eerily corresponds to what Destiny yelled out earlier right?"

Marlowe thought hard. "We have a new image. The Twelve Pointed Star is no longer the center. Something is going to happen."

"We'll handle it. We always do."

Marlowe smiled. "We're bound to fail eventually Kayz." Then she started guffawing.

A Door slid open, and a man in a red spandex sui-

"I DON'T NEED AN INTRODUCTION!" The man yelled. "I'm Deadpool! EVERYONE KNOWS ME!"

Marlowe blinked. "Kayz? Isn't this the new recruit for you? Are you sur-"

"He's got unique abilities. Sure he's insane, but he's got the knack to-"

Deadpool pulled out a bagel and ate it.

"-do stuff like that."

Marlowe stared. "Can you pull anything out of…"

"The magic satchel? You BETCHA baby! Well, whatever plot allows me to anyway-"

"Plot?" Although the word sounded more like "Plahahahahahot?"

"You really have no clue whats going on here do you. Awesome. DEADPOOL KNOWS EVERYTHING!" Deadpool pulled out another bagel, and marched down the hallway. "By the way, I pranked a couple girls. They should be coming out in a rage in-"

Ty Lee ran down the hallway, her hair dyed a strange ugly green. "YOU!" She ran towards him at high speed, fists ready to make contact.

Deadpool ducked, and kicked her in the chest. "Tsk. So easy-"

Jinora pushed out with her mind, knocking Deadpool backwards. She breathed in. Then she nudged him into a wall. She smiled. "I'm bending… things. Not sure what to call it…"

Deadpool stood up, and threw a net at Jinora. She got tangled up in it, unable to push the object full of holes.

Then Wendy came sailing out of nowhere, with a giant golden sword. As she swung it, it morphed into a giant hammer, smashing into Deadpool's face.

"OW!" He moaned as he was embedded in the ground. "DON'T KILL ME!"

"I couldn't if I wanted to. I'm just going to make you feel pain. And maybe get a dumb rap song stuck in your head."

"Pure torture…"

"Hey!" Marlowe yelled. "Play nice!"

Wendy turned around. "Sorry Madame President. Won't happen again."

"This is the new SG team the Avatar sent over?" Marlowe asked Kayz.

"Yep."

"Teams can have up to five members correct?"

"Um.. yes?"

"Good to know. I'm going to have a talk with Hammond."

Kayz blinked. The President seriously wasn't considering-

"Yes Kayz I'm considering it."

"But you're high right now!"

"Good thing the fate of the universes don't hang in the balance."

Deadpool laughed maniacally at this.

The group broke up, going to their various duties. Marlowe's giggle became a cackle.

[][][][][][][][][][]

There was a meeting going on in the SGC. SG-1 and Hammond were there.

Carter pointed at a projector screen. "This is our assessment of the technological capabilities of our new allies.

She flicked the projector to show the Starshock, a rudimentary metallic ship that looked like the nose of a rocket. "Okay so this is what we would have done if given FTL capability when we were just experimenting with rockets. This is basically a module with primitive weapons and a hyperdrive. The weapons aren't really that good in this universe, because the occupants have none of their lightning-bending powers. Their people can offer us quicker production, and that's about it."

Daniel spoke up. "They are a culturally rich people, showing many similarities to Eastern civilization."

Patema grinned. "The Sound Archipelago has some of the most amazing things. EVER."

Hammond turned to the fifth member of SG-1. "Such as?"

"Concerts every day, lots of music, strange sound technology-"

Carter thought about this. "Some of their Soundbenders can do some interesting things, but it's all completely dependant on their bending. The technology would have no effect here. Their planet contains nine kinds of benders, water, fire, earth, air, sounds, lightning, metal, plant, and time. There used to be spirit benders, but now that ability seems to be limited strictly to the Avatar, a person who can bend all the elements. And, as it turns out, all benders have the Ancient Gene. Daniel, Patema, and O'Neill could bend during their time in the universe."

O'Neill flicked his fingers. "Rocks! Amazing things."

Patema squealed. "I could knock people down by speaking!"

Hammond furrowed his brow. "I thought Daniel didn't have the gene-"

"He was once an Ascended being. He seems to have some form of it inside him now."

Daniel smiled and waved. "Let's just say I'm glad to be normal again."

Carter nodded. "Thier society currently has six major nations. Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom, Northern Water Tribe, Southern Water Tribe, Tech Republic, and Echo Archipelago. The plant benders exist within their own secluded lilypad cities in the middle of the oceans. The airbenders are all but wiped out. And the time benders are more of a secret society rather than an actual nation. That's pretty much their world. We just barely stopped the Fire Nation war on the rest of the world, so tensions are high between nations. Except the Echo Archipelago. Those people are always happy."

O'Neill put his hand to his head. "It's creepy. Always so happy and carefree…"

Carter flicked to the next picture. "This is the Goddess, held together by… uh… Thaumic forces."

"She means magic, sir." O'Neill offered.

Patema grinned. "The same stuff that keeps me upside down, and the same stuff that gives me PSYCHIC POWERS!"

Carter sighed, pointing at the image of the stone ship. "I honestly can't explain how this thing works, our scientists have just barely begun research into the thaumic fabric, and we are finding that some Ancient technology has run using it. The thing the Hoseki gave us to put on the Stargate is apparently made out of solid thaums, whatever that means."

Teal'C nodded. "Indeed."

"We can take comfort in knowing that their weapons are primitive compared to ours, and can be blocked by shields. They are just barely beginning to experiment with… uh… thaumispace technology."

"You just made that word up." Patema observed.

Carter ignored the young woman. "Next we have the Comet Observatory. This thing is a piece of work. I've been on it personally sir, and it is phenomenal. It doesn't have much in the way of weapons aside from an exceptionally resilient shield that can be used to ram into other ships. It really does look like a comet when it does this. Other than that, the ship is a highly advanced scientific vessel. It can make a star chart of an entire galaxy in an hour. I can't even begin to comprehend how the computers even work."

After a pause she added. "It also can reset the galaxy it's tied to. rework it, reshape it. Right now this is only the Milky Way galaxy of the Ordered Universe. So we're safe."

Hammond squinted his eyes. "Ordered Universe?"

"The Hoseki say that there are 13 universes in our.. multiverse sir. They have located 5. Ours is the Cosmic Universe. Rosalina is from the Ordered Universe. The Elemental Nations are from the Chaotic Universe. There are apparently two other universes. The Thaumic Universe and the… er.. "Insane" Universe."

"Insane?"

"The Hoseki told me they didn't like to think too hard about that place."

O'Neill raised a hand. "How about we talk about them? They seem to be the big honchos here."

Carter nodded. "They are a group of peoples. Some are older than magic itself, whatever that means, and others are very young. They created their system form various worlds found in their own multiverse. Then they had to leave, trying to keep a dark energy being of some kind from assaulting them anymore. They tried to leave reality, and failed."

Daniel spoke up. "He sounds like an ascended being of some kind, one without the rules put in place by the Ancients. Our hope that is here, he will be limited by them."

Teal'C furrowed his brow. "But he may be able to contact Anubis."

Daniel nodded. "That would certainly be a problem… this evil may not be allowed to interfere directly, but if it gave Anubis information…"

O'Neill sighed "They don't like talking about their 'evil little friend' so we can't do anything. Can we move on?"

"Right." Sam said. "The Hoseki technology level is.. amazing. On par with the Asgard. And that's only the stuff I understand. They have machines that can create trans-dimensional wormholes on command, and their power sources are either thaums or black holes. They've even evidentially found a way to momentarily turn a black hole into a white hole, effectively giving them a "turbo" button. Their military ships are massive, and come in all types. There are the kind like you see orbiting us right now, the large battlecruisers. They are the largest ship they have, aside from the Flagship Xipetoteta. And then there are the ships made entirely out of thaumic energy, which I can't even begin to explain. And then there is their… ancient stuff."

Daniel butted in. "Their ancient technology is far far more advanced than our Ancients. They don't have much of it, just a few cargo ships, a few outposts, and a space city. Their space city, known as Atlantis, basically acts as a giant dish that listens to the entire universe at once. They tried to keep it hidden, but we could easily tell that the city was designed to alter the universe in a fundamental way. It could change anything. But aside from this, we know nothing. They aren't telling us everything."

Hammond nodded. "Understandable. At least they're friendly."

Patema grinned. "Very much so! I played with this one girl for-"

Daniel interrupted. "Their government is a Federation, every planet can have it's own laws and forms of government, as long as they meet the requirement set out by the System Government, which is a selective democracy. Twelve council members are chosen by merit by a computer, and a President is elected by the people. The President technically has more power than a single council member, but if three decided something against her, she could be vetoed. The President is mainly there as the public face of the government, a coordinator, an ambassador, and the person who gets to make spur-of-the-moment decisions."

Patema grinned. "Tell him about the Wingdings."

Daniel let out an annoyed breath. "This… is going to sound weird. Apparently the founders of the system are a group of immortal teenagers known as the Wingdings. They… kinda do everything. Some act like heroes. Some work heavily in the government. Some are celebrities. Some are just annoying. All they really have to do is listen to the other Windings. They are largely outside the law. Kayz is one of them."

Patema took off her boots and floated to the ceiling. "I always thought they were such fun. They always joked around and had fun, regardless of the peril."

O'Neill grinned. "The bad guys HAAAAAAAATED them. With a burning passion. It was so good to see young people doing what we do best."

"They are technically around thirty years old." Carter said.

"So? They admitted themselves that they haven't matured much. Youth! They embraced it!"

Patema grinned. "Like me!"

"You aren't immortal. You're just stunted, squirt."

Patema glared at O'Neill.

Carter sighed. "The Hoseki consist of 13 different races. Plus a few odd genetic anomalies, AIs, and… thaumic anomalies."

O'Neill grinned while he spread his arms out wide. "MAGIC!"

Carter groaned. She was never going to hear the end of this.

[][][][][][][][][][]

The Doctor rubbed his hands, ready to start up the TARDIS.

Then he noticed something weird.

Time had been heavily disturbed. Something had basically torn a hole.

A very specific hole.

The Doctor furrowed his brow. Only higher-order godlike beings could do something with this much precision. Or possibly a Gallifreyan, but neither the Master nor the Delver had access to the grand weapons of the Time War.

Then he noticed something weird.

The anomaly was the kind that could affect higher-order godlike beings. Everywhere. In every universe.

Who on earth would be able to do this? Who would want to?

[][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia Dunham was in the hospital with quite the head injury. Long blonde hair splayed around her head. She seemed oddly peaceful, despite the various bruises.

Peter and Walter were looking at her in the hospital bed, not even moving. Barely breathing.

"What did she do. She knows something-"

"I think she went to the alternate universe. Only way to explain the transfer of motion-"

"Walter, while that may be the case, because for some reason you're usually right, It doesn't matter right now. She's not suffering from alternate universe whatsis. She hit her head, hard. she's basically brain dead now."

Walter looked down. "I know of a risky-"

"No Walter. No fringe experimentation."

Father and son stood by the bed of their mutual friend, contemplating the future.

Outside the room, Mulder and Scully waited.

Scully was standing, concerned. Mulder was typing away on a laptop. "These guys are heavily classified. I've been able to get a few things on them… A horrible airplane accident. Some strange amber substance. Disturbances at a local lake…"

"Do they have anything to do with… them?"

"I'm not finding any extraterrestrial links, but there is something big hidden here. And the thing is, unlike us, they have the sanction of the government-"

"Not for much longer." A tall bald black man said. He carried around him an air of importance and command. "I'm agent Broyles, head of the Fringe division."

"Agent Mulder and Scully, of the X-files." They shook hands.

Broyles smiled. "I've heard of you. Spooky Mulder. One of my agents worked with you."

"Which one?"

"The banana cream incident."

Mulder winced.

Scully looked back and forth. "How have I not heard about this?"

Mulder held up a hand. "Don't Scully. Not a word. Please."

Broyles smiled. "Now, you helped bring in Olivia?"

"Yes, we did. I gotta say it's very interesting. In our line of work things like this happen all the time. I personally am thinking she got thrown out of reality for a while-"

"That's precisely what happened!" Walter yelled as he walked in. "She was thrown into the alternate universe for some reason, and then brought back!"

"Woah! Walter. Sorry he's crazy-"

Broyles raised his eyebrow. "I think these agents can help us mister Bishop. I'm giving them temporary clearance to see the Fringe division."

Peter sighed, defeated. "Fine. But can this wait till tomorrow?"

Broyles nodded. "Of course. take your time."

Mulder and Scully watched as the trio left.

Mulder scratched his chin. "I think we just got lucky. Really lucky."

"How long until Broyles receives a visit?"

"Tonight probably."

Scully sighed. "We should probably watch…"

"Yes. But first?" Mulder grabbed a pen out of his pocket and threw it into the ceiling.

"Really?"

'Yes. Now let's get out of here before we can be traced to that pen."

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Colonial ships and the Rebel Basestar jumped first.

Then Moya and jumped into her Starburst with Talyn.

the Federation ships entered Warp after that.

The Command Carrier was the slowest to accelerate. They didn't have instant FTL capabilities of any kind. They slowly got up to speed.

The Colonial ships appeared.

There were four Cylon Basestars waiting. The six-pronged ships prepared to attack.

"Battle stations!" Adama yelled.

Tigh groaned. "We won't survive this…"

"We just have to hold out for a few minutes for the others to arrive."

"LAUNCH VIPERS!"

The vipers shot out of Galactica, and the Rebel Basestar launched its own fighters, painted with red stripes to distinguish from the regular fighters.

The weapons fired, blasting left and right, shooting, killing, exploding.

It was a dance in space, not a single shot was getting through to either side.

Then two nukes got through the net, heading for a mining vessel.

Then Moya and Talyn leapt out of starburst. Talyn fired at one of the nukes, and Moya raised her shield to deflect the other.

Crais smiled. "Good boy Talyn."

Moya groaned from the radiation. Pilot yelped. "Some of the radiation got through!"

Zan looked at the hologram of Pilot. "Any major damage?"

"No, just lots of pain."

"Okay. Pull Moya to the side, let the others fight."

"She is worried about her son."

John grumbled. "Yeah well her son has weapons. Really good weapons I might add-"

John watched as two shots from Talyn exploded an entire basestar.

Adama smiled. "That little ship packs some punch…"

"He's still not going to take out all five…"

"Continue firing! See if we can get a kill-"

Then Voyager dropped out of warp, firing phasers and photon torpedos. Two Basestars were killed virtually instantly.

"I take it those are your enemies Adama?" A female voice said over the intercom.

"Yes, Captain Janeway, it is. Can you take care of the others?"

"Easily."

But the Enterprise beat her to it, dropping out and launching quantum torpedoes, even bigger explosions rupturing the other Basestars.

The Defiant was close behind, but it missed the fight.

A few minutes later, DS9 dropped out of warp. It was not designed for this, by any means, but the rudimentary drive got it done.

The Command Carrier arrived shortly after that. Scorpius was furious, realizing he had missed a battle because his ship took too long to accelerate. He turned to his current second officer. "Tell the scientists to find out how to replicate those results! Now!"

The officer ran off.

With that fight, the rest of the fleet got closer together, while Scorpius continued to dig his hole.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Unification was happening elsewhere as well. On the Alpha Site, races from across the galaxy were convening.

Daniel Jackson and Teal'c were there to greet all the ambassadors personally.

"Ah master Brae'Tac!" Teal'c said, brightening at the sight of his master.

The old Jaffa master smiled. "It is good to see you friend. The Jaffa Rebellion is going strong. We have several worlds under our control now. If only Anubis hadn't come along when he did…"

"It is indeed an unfortunate circumstance, but we will find a solution."

The gate activated again, and a new set of representatives came through.

Daniel smiled. "Hi Jacob!"

Jacob smiled. "I, Jacob-Selmak of the Tok'ra am here with my two bland associates to represent our people in this talk of a stronger alliance. But you knew that. How's Sam doing?"

"She's doing great. Trying to work out what exactly was slapped onto our stargate… She doesn't like things she can't solve."

Jacob chuckled. "Indeed she doesn't.."

Daniel smiled. Jacob had a Goa'uld inside of him, but rather than controlling him, they shared the body. It was nice to see that even the Goa'uld weren't all bad. Though the Tok'ra were a select bunch.

The Orbonians and Pangaras arrived next. Relatively primitive human societies. the Orbonians did have mental nanite technology, and the Pangerans were experimenting with primitive hyperspace, but aside from that they were just trade allies.

The Hebridans arrived next, one of the few obviously alien races. They were half human, half reptilian. They were a combination of two races who lived on the same world. Very few were still pure blooded. And they had managed to gain a small space fleet despite the Goa'Uld generally stomping out anything that could ever be a threat.

Then the Asgard arrived. Small, grey aliens that looked like something out of a bad science fiction movie from the 50s. Thor, supreme commander of the Asgard fleet, walked into the room, their short statures drawing stares. "You have piqued our curiosity, Daniel Jackson."

"I hope you won't be disappointed…"

Next arrived the Langarans, split up into three groups. They were not a united planet, and had many quibbles with each other. Jonas Quinn was at the front. He was a young man who was selected for this mission only because the Tau'ri liked him. He had served on SG-1 for about a year.

Daniel shook Jonas' hand. "Welcome back. Try to keep your planet from squabbling okay?"

"I'll try my best, but trust me, they're not easy to deal with." Already the Kelowna and Tirania secondary ambassadors were arguing about salt prices, while the Andari Federation was arguing amongst itself about which of the other two were the most annoying.

Representatives from around twenty Earth Nations arrived.

The ambassadors from the other-dimensional races arrived.

It was a big room. Filled with lots of people. It was quite the conference.

And then an unexpected group arrived.

Daniel Jackson stared and blinked as a Tollan walked through the stargate.

He blinked. "I thought you all got destroyed-"

"Some of us evacuated." The man smiled sadly. "We are here representing the 40,000 remaining Tollan. We may not be able to assist much, but.. well we are more willing to hear you out."

Then yet another unexpected group arrived.

Daniel blinked. "Lya?"

The alien woman nodded, her branchy hair rustling. She was human sized, but her demeanor seemed fairy-like. "It is good to see you again Doctor Jackson."

Thor walked up to Lya. "It has been so long since our races have had regular contact…"

Lya smiled. "Ah Thor, we have tales about you. The Nox will always be a friend."

Thor blinked. "Why are you here?"

"They mentioned the thaumic fabric. Our scientists recently discovered this fabric and wish to learn more. And, perhaps, it is time for us to come out of our seclusion… The galaxy is changing."

Thor nodded. "I wonder if the Furlings will come…"

Lya shrugged. "We at least knew you and the Ancients were still around. We haven't heard from the Furlings in millenia."

The two representatives of their ancient cultures walked off.

Daniel turned to Teal'C. "That's a surprise. The Nox rarely take an interest in us."

"Indeed."

Then the stargate opened once more. A message was sent through.

Carter looked at the transmission. "HA! Can you believe it? Some of the Goa'uld want to come-"

Marlowe furrowed her brow. "Anubis?"

"No… A representative of Yu, Ba'al, and someone named Djehuty."

Marlowe smiled. "I believe we can let them sit in as observers?"

"Bu-"

"Just ask Hammond."

The Goa'uld were permitted to enter. The one representing Ba'al had a devious look on his face. The one representing Yu looked like an old Chinese man, and seemed to be deep in thought.

The third one who stepped through brought the room into silence.

"An Unas…" Daniel muttered. Goa'uld rarely used their old reptilian hosts anymore. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew they disliked them.

The deep gravelly voice came from the reptile's lips. "I am Djehuty."

Ba'al's representative scoffed. "Why are you even here old man?"

"The humans interest me. They have proven themselv-"

"You're a disgrace. I'm not going to honor you with conversation."

Yu's representative raised his eyebrow. "We represent the collective System Lords Against Anubis. We can't be divided here. Led Djehuty speak."

"Since WHEN did we let Djehuty do ANYTHING?"

Daniel snapped his fingers in recognition. "You were at the meeting!"

Djehuty nodded. "So you did infiltrate that. Congradulations."

Yu's representative sighed. "You shouldn't congratulate them. They are just our slaves after all."

Ba'al's representative scoffed. "Keep on believing that."

Hammond stood up to address everyone. "Peoples of over thirty different nations from across the universes, we are here to discuss possible alliances between our people and perhaps unity against our common enemies. We will convene tomorrow. Until then, you will all be shown to quarters on the base. Please don't kill each other."

Nervous laughs came from the crowd. The next few days were going to be interesting. Indeed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter sat at a bar. It was exceptionally late.

Broyles sat down next to him.

"So… you replacing Olivia with those new agents?"

Broyles shook his head. "No. We just need more help. Our division isn't giving enough results. The higher ups think we're a waste of time."

Peter blinked. "We're being shut down?"

"Tomorrow morning. Unless we can come up with something tangible. I'm heading to DC to argue our case."

Peter sighed.

"I'm hoping that they can provide us with something. They've been doing this for years, under threat of being shut down over and over. Mulder was even hunted for a time."

Peter blinked. "Well then. This should be interesting…"

Broyles nodded. "I expect someone isn't going to be happy about this…"

Peter nodded. "Oh yes…"

They drank. "To Olivia Dunham."

Behind them, an old man smoked a cigarette. He had been going to confront Broyles, but from what he had just seen, he determined that was a bad idea. The man was set. Which meant he would just have to make sure they didn't find anything.

The problem was, he wasn't in the loop about what exactly the Alternate Universe was doing. He had about as much information as the agents themselves.

He was used to holding all the cards.

He took a puff of smoke. It was less than a year away. He just had to keep things under some level of control for a little while longer.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

JRQRXIIV BUZIRPFSB MOLQLZLI FKFQFXQBA

[][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN**

 **OP - As the first day draws to a close, you can almost hear a tower bell ring.. (Majora's Mask anyone?) Stay tuned with the storyline, you can see so many things taking place, if you are sharp enough. Do feel free to leave us a review, we also appreciate it. XD Don't take things at face value, there is always more from us.**

 **GM- well it's done. That took a long time. I don't know when the next chapter will be out.**

 **Kudos to anyone who can tell me what Patema is from.**

 **And yes, what SG-1 was doing in the past few months is very important. It's like a backstory :3 Good luck piecing together what exactly happened on the Avatar world.**

 **Anyway I hate writing introductions, but now that everyone knows each other, stuff can probably happen. :3**

 **Reviews appreciated! Also, as always, I love hearing what everyone thinks the wheel means.**


	3. January 2: Missions

**AN:**

 **OP - HERE WE GO! CAPSLOCK AWAY! I mean… Enjoy the next chapter. The plot thickens, ohohoh.**

 **GM- at long last, here is another chapter! The plot develops further, and it's only Jan 2! Enjoy!**

 **In case you were wondering who exactly is at the conference, here's a list:**

 **Tok'Ra, Jaffa Rebellion, Orbonians, Pangerans, Hebridans, Asgard, Langarans (Kelowna Tirania AndariFederation), The Comet Observers, Hyrule, Elemental Nations, the Hoseki, Nox, Djehuty, Ba'al Representative, Yu representative, USA, Brazil, England, France, Germany, Russia, China, Japan, Spain, Italy, Canada, Egypt, Australia, Switzerland, Israel, and other small unimportant Tau'Ri nations.**

[][][][][][][][][][][][][[]

Monday, January 2: Missions

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD?!_

"What?"

 _HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOURSELF!_

 **But we do that all the time.**

 _NOT IN CAPS LOCK WE DON'T!_

"UH, YEAH WE DO! WE'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW!"

 **I don't do capslock.**

"Uh… Deadpool?"

"YES?!"

"Why are you scaring the children?"

"Children? Hello! Hey, how you doing?! Enjoying the story? Good. Cuz its about to get a lot better. Just watch and see."

Everyone looked at Deadpool like he was crazy.

"Uh, DUH! I totally am."

Eggman laughed. "hohohohohoho! Ah Deadpool my friend! But only the crazy and mad people have the mental capacity to get anything done!"

Deadpool grinned. "I like you old man!"

Eggman leaned against a wall. "So, old friend, how are Yellow Box and White Box doing?"

"I told you, they're Italics and Bold now!" Deadpool chuckled. "Also, 'old friend?' didn't I stop one of your master plans?"

"Yes but you also helped me with some."

"Fair enough." Deadpool stopped as a woman with cat ears walked by. "Hellooooo Lady! Rawr!"

The woman turned around and glared with the ferocity of a lion. "Get this straight bucko, I've been hearing that spiel my entire life. Get lost!"

"Oh I don't think so, you've caught my eye, and I like what I se-"

Deadpool got a slap, and then got tripped by a cat tail. "I love feisty cats…"

Eggman sighed. "You never change do you?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! Now, want to go get drunk?"

"You can't get drunk-"

"Janet has a stash of stuff that works. It's amazing."

Eggman blinked. "Well then… that's somewhat disturbing."

"HELLO! Oooh.. Something just barked up my tree if you know what I mean…"

 _REALLY?_

 **Wooh! It's got a skirt!**

"Lets hit on it."

 _SERIOUSLY?_

Deadpool sidled up to the skirt stealthily.

"Hey baby.. I know you are a tree, like, thing. But you and me, we could make the winds howl through your branches, hint hint, nod nod."

The Tree Planeht, the Hoseki plant race, turned around and spoke.

"I'm a dude. I'm here for some ballet practice."

Deadpool pulled a knife and committed seppuku right there in the hallway.

"OW! OUCH! OOH! IT FEELS SO SHINY, SO SHARP! MY INTESTINES LOVE IT! SUUU-WEEEEEE IT HURTS! That's gonna leave a mark. OH WAIT! No it won't."

Eggman was hysterical. "You, Deadpool, are amazing."

"Shuddup fatso."

"Ohohohoho! Comedian!"

Then a person was sent flying between the two of them. "OW!" The man yelled as he hit the floor. He stood up. "Ba'al will hear about this and-"

"And do what?" A Jaffa said, in a fighting stance. "Come and fight like a warrior, prove your honor."

"You simple minded people don't understand the fact that some people aren't warriors do you?"

Djehuty walked up. "That would be our fault, you know. We trained them this way."

"Shuddup Djehuty. No-one needs your senile reflective nonsense."

Djehuty shrugged, and walked off, as the Jaffa threw another punch.

Deadpool drew his swords. "DOES ANYONE WANT TO BRAWL WITH ME?"

Eggman laughed. "I'm sure I can get someone ticked off at you-"

"I'll do it myself old man. HEY EVERYBODY. YOUR COLLECTIVE MOTHERS ARE-"

A Gari punched him in the face. She flexed her white wrist. Her hair flowed all the way past her hips, curling in many places, defying gravity in that way only Gari (or anime) hair does. "I don't even need to know what you were going to say."

Deadpool readied himself. "SWORDS TIME!"

He ran after the Gari, who used white forearms to deflect the blows. There was a reason weapons weren't banned at the meeting, too many of the races had natural weapons. The Gari was quickly realizing that simply her physical abilities weren't going to win this fight, however. This guy was pushing her back easily.

"Wait. This is what the author says before the guy unleashes some kind of secret-" Deadpool began, noticing the obvious plot device.

The Gari grinned. She splayed her wrists forward.

A bright flash of light shot towards Deadpool, who put on his sunglasses. "Nice try. I know about your race's elemental abilities. You're white, so you're light."

The Gari smirked. "Congradulations. However, you are severely outclassed. I am Miranda."

"Should I know that na-"

A strange staff suddenly appeared in Miranda's hand. It was tall, gnarled, and had a strange clear crystal within its top. A barrier formed around her. She tapped the staff on the ground, and fifty winding bullets shot towards Deadpool.

"OWOWOWOWOOW"

 _SHE'S BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF US!_

 **Are you still in caps lock?**

 _YES. IT'S AMAZING._

Deadpool fell to the ground, a hole in his chest. It quickly regenerated. "Ergh... "

Miranda smirked, before waltzing off. As she did, the color of her hair and limbs turned from white to red.

Eggman laughed. "Ohohoho! Looks like you met one of the Hoseki high mages."

Deadpool groaned.

"She went easy on you. There's a high mage of each of their thirteen races. She's the Gari one."

Deadpool groaned.

"You don't like me talking about people who beat you up do you?"

"NO!"

"Good. She also likes pineapples-"

"AAAUUUGGGHH!"

Ba'al's representative was beelining across the conference. "WHY ISN'T THERE SECURITY?"

Eggman yelled. "BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES YOU. AND AS LONG AS YOU DON'T DIE, WE HAVE NO QUALMS WITH ANYTHING."

"YOUR RACE IS LAME!"

"I'M NOT EVEN FROM THIS UNIVERSE!"

Ba'al's representative sighed. He pulled out his Zat gun and pointed it at the Jaffa and fired, knocking him unconscious. "I was hoping to avoid that."

Then the Andari Federation came storming in. "HEY! YOU THERE! WITH THE FACE!"

Ba'al's representative sighed. "WHAT?"

"I HEARD YOU LIKE KELOWNA PEOPLE."

"WHAT? NO! WHO ARE THE-"

He received a punch to the face.

"I think I know why Lord Ba'al didn't come…."

Yu's representative chuckled. "The rest of us aren't having difficulty. You just seem to be the beat-uppable one."

Deadpool and Eggman watched as the poor Goa'uld got picked on, yelled at, attacked, and harassed.

Carter's voice came on over the base intercom. "Will Wingding Deadpool please report to the Operations Room? Thank you."

"Maybe I'm getting arrested for causing discord!"

 _Awesome!_

 **And the caps lock is gone.**

 _What caps lock?_

 **For being nothing more than a creature of the mind you have a surprisingly poor memory.**

 _What?_

"Guys! Calm down. We've got a mission to do."

Eggman took out a notepad and began scribbling. "So, Deadpool, how do these voices in your head make you feel?"

"Old man, stop playing the psychiatrist game."

"Ohhohohohohoh! But I must."

"Bye." Deadpool took off to the operations room.

Eggman waved.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

General Hammond looked at the ten people in the room. SG-1, Wendy, Ty Lee, Jinora, Miranda, and Deadpool.

"I am here to make the new SG teams official."

O'Neill gave a wave of his hand. "Come on sir, we already know what's going to happen."

"Yes of course, but I have to do this the right way so there's less paperwork."

Miranda smirked. "Paperwork. My sister always had more of an… aptitude for that."

"Your sister is the president." Jinora observed. "It's probably a requirement."

Hammond cleared his throat. "SG-1, Your team setup is changing, though as you said you already know this. Patema is being transferred to SG-13 to act as their leader. In her place, you are receiving Miranda. Not only does she represent the Hoseki, but is an expert on magic as well."

Miranda chuckled. "I don't know about _expert_ , General, but I know my way around the winds."

O'Neill whooped. "Patema, we'll miss you, but MAN I love having a person that can shoot fireballs out their fingers!"

Miranda grinned. "Let's go find something dangerous to do!"

"HECK YEAH!"

Teal'c sighed. He wasn't sure he'd like the lack of discipline in this new member. She may hold a very high position in her society, but she seemed… spastic, unorganized.

Hammond turned to the others. "Patema, you will lead SG-13, the first SG team to be composed entirely from offworld peoples. Wendy Corduroy, Ty Lee, Jinora, and Deadpool, you will make up the new team."

Deadpool raised a hand. "QUESTION… why me?"

Miranda grinned. "Because sis was high and in a creative mood."

Deadpool groaned. "I'm going to be seeing a lot of you aren't I…"

"Yes. yes you are. Now apparently there's protocol against punching other teams, so… You're safe." Then she waved her hand, purple sparks flying.

 _Until the General isn't watching._ Her voice echoed into his head.

 _HEY! LADY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?_

 **Oh good grief…**

 _HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?_

 **Thank you miss, you got him back into caps lock.**

"I don't think she can hear you. The message was one way."

Everyone stared at Deadpool.

"You KNEW I was clinically insane before putting me on the team right? RIIIIIIGHT?"

"Unfortunately yes." The General sighed. "SG-1, you are needed to mediate the talks here. You are a friendly face to most of the people here. SG-13, your first mission will be to head to the Hoseki system. We have the address of their Utopia Base. Basically you are to go there, they give you the tour, and you come back giving a report."

Patema stood tall. "Yes sir!" She turned around, using her "I'm in charge" voice. "Everyone out!"

Wendy, Ty Lee, and Jinora followed immediately.

Deadpool just stood there. "I'm expected to follow the orders of a little girl?"

"I'M TWENTY-FOUR. MOVE IT."

Even Deadpool didn't want to disobey that voice. "Yes ma'am."

Miranda smiled. _Poor little deadpool…_

"I'm going to have my revenge on you if it's the last thing I do woman!"

"GOOD LUCK!" Miranda yelled back.

O'Neill grinned. "OKAY NEW TEAM! I'm O'Neill, the sarcastic Colonel, This is Carter, miss technobabble, this is Daniel, the expert on everything older than dirt, and this is Teal'c, the guy who… does fighting."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Everyone, This is Mrs. Miranda Marlowe. When we mention her in reports call her High Mage Marlowe. She will be the one defying Carter's understanding of the universe."

Miranda grinned. "Let's go to the diplomacy table and completely disregard all rules!"

Daniel blinked. "You and your sister are quite different-"

"Aren't we? I like to think we are. She has this issue with not liking to punch things in the face. Such a shame, really."

Daniel scratched his head. How could someone be so friendly and yet so violent at the same time?

Miranda skipped out of the room, shifting her color from red to pink.

Carter scratched her head. "I am going to find out how this magic works…"

"GOOD LUCK!" Miranda yelled back. "TAKES MOST PEOPLE A LIFETIME."

Carter's eye twitched.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Deep Space Nine was a space station.

Station.

STATIONARY.

It was not DESIGNED to move.

At least, not much.

But here it was, travelling at warp speeds. Slow warp speeds, granted, but warp speeds nonetheless. And it was doing okay.

Commander Kira Nerys was nervous however, her wrinkled Bajoran nose accenting the crease that was appearing in her forehead. O'Brien had said that DS9 could travel like this for maybe two years, before it'd lose its structural integrity entirely.

They'd have to find a home before then.

A flash of light appeared in her office.

She blinked. Q?

Who was in front of her surprised her.

"Captain Sisko?"

The black, bald commander was trembling. "Something.. has happened." He said. The captain was usually calm, collected, and carried around confidence. (and other adjectives that began with c) But now, he just seemed... afraid.

"No kidding. We're in the Andromeda galaxy."

"No… More than that… the Prophets were attacked…."

Kira blinked. "What?"

Sisko shook. "Bajor is no more. The Federation is no more. You are all that is left."

"Well we knew that sir, Q told us."

Sisko backed up in confusion. "How is Q here?"

"Why is he ever here?"

"No the energy beam attacked…" Sisko convulsed. "Protect these people. That is the last command the Prophets gave me before sending me-"

"Well, no offense sir, couldn't they have done a little more? You are a great leader and all, but we kinda could stand to FIND a habitable planet."

"They have." Then Sisko fainted.

Kira called on the com. "Medical team to my office. Sisko's back."

She then went to inform the other Federation ships.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Worf sat at the command chair of the Defiant. He was a Klingon, a warrior, a master of tactics. Dark skin, angular forehead markings. A warriors stature.

He observed the fleet. He couldn't help but admire the Command Carrier. While it wasn't the fastest ship, it certainly had a lot of firepower.

The rest of the ships he had seen were laughable at best in technology, though he was impressed with the tactics of the Galactica. They'd obviously been fighting for a long time.

He sat back in the chair, pondering. He may be a Klingon, but he spent a lot of time thinking unlike much of his brethren.

They were lost in time and space. The Federation didn't even exist. They were all that remained.

He clenched his fist. Small though they were, they would keep the memory alive.

Then he received a message from DS9.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Captain Janeway paced back and forth. She was an older woman. While she gave a sense of being in command, she seemed small, and somewhat frail. She was unusual in that regard.

Seven of Nine was sitting, watching this human behavior. It indicated apprehension and perhaps annoyance in Janeway. Seven was once human herself, and then she was adapted into the Borg collective. Now... she wasn't entire sure what she was. A free Borg, but a free Borg was a contradiction in terms. Seven herself was logical, fit, and somewhat pretty. She also looked very young, though no-one was sure exactly how she had aged.

"Captain, what seems to be the problem?"

"We JUST got out of the Delta Quadrant. We were celebrating. We had just barely gotten our repairs, had been debriefed, and were given back Voyager. Almost no-one was persecuted by Starfleet. We were given a complete crew, and then put back as a Starfleet vessel. It was a grand celebration. Then we're lost AGAIN, this time without a way to get back without getting our hands on a time machine."

Seven nodded. "Understandable. I'm not saying I miss anything, however. The day that mad scientist got in-"

Janeway shuddered. "Some people will do insane things in the name of science."

Tuvok, a dark-skinned Vulcan, walked in. "Captain, something has happened you should see."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"What do you mean our cargo bays are suddenly full of colonization supplies?"

Data looked at Captain Picard. "Exactly what I meant, the cargo bays are full of-"

Picard held up a hand. "Q?"

"There was no flash of light, or any of the usual jokes. Though he could just be trying to remain inconspicuous."

Riker called Picard. "Sir, we've got reports from ships across the fleet that their cargo holds have just been filled with colonization supplies. They appear to be a mixture of Bajoran and Federation designs."

Picard sat back, pondering.

"I want to know who did this. Now."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Kira walked into the cargo bay.

Constable Odo was standing there, his almost-human face looking slightly displeased with the world, as usual. "Well this is interesting. The other ships got colonization supplies. We got-"

Kira stared in fascination. "Are those ALL the Orbs?"

"I'd say yes."

Kira looked at the ornate boxes holding the religious artifacts of her world. "Contemplation.. Prophecy and Change… Time… Wisdom… Memory… Destiny… Souls… Truth… Unity…" She stared at the other two boxes. "That's the orb of the Emissary, but this one…" She inspected it. "The Orb of Possibilities? I thought this one was destroyed in ancient times-"

She opened the box, and a million orb shards fell out.

"Of course. Didn't know what I was expecting. Of course no-one will ever get to know what that Orb did."

Odo chuckled in his gruff way. "The possibilities. Should I get a cleaning crew?"

"Yeah. Treat it with some respect, these are holy objects."

Odo nodded. "I'll also post security so religious zealots don't try to stare into these things. They can be dangerous."

"You do that. I'm going to see to the Captain…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Adama scratched his head. "Well, it's not as unusual as some things that have happened lately."

Saul Tigh grunted. "You're telling me. Several hundred colonization kits appear around the fleet, and no-one really finds it all that unusual. Something worth noticing, yes, but not unusual."

"That says something about us. Not sure if it's good or bad."

"Probably a bit of both."

"Well, this is actually a good event. if we FIND a planet this virtually guarantees instant cities."

"The folks over there on that space station are praising their Gods for the gift."

"I've been told by a few of the Starfleet people about these Prophets." Adama pondered. "They've confirmed them to be some form of non-corporeal life. Otherwise, they're tight lipped about it. Though from what I heard these Prophets didn't seem to have the capability to do this much."

Saul shrugged. "Who cares. we have it. The Federation people can confirm that these kits were made by them, and are safe to use. Let's just hope we can find a place to settle down."

Adama smiled. "We can fight the Cylons now. We can go to a planet, settle down, and feel relatively safe. That is something I never thought would happen. Not since New Caprica."

Adama looked around. This was his office in Galactica.

He frowned. The plans for salvaging the ship were going as planned.

He didn't want to see the old girl go, even if the fleet was now safe without her.

Galactica had carried them this far.

He sighed.

Saul looked up. "Well… she had a long run. Already an ancient ship when all this started."

"Don't I know it… Sometimes however I think her purpose isn't done."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Spirit Caprica was leading Gaius Baltar by the ear. "Come on. This way."

Baltar was trying really hard to make it look like he was walking naturally. "I just talked to Lee about our people's rights! He said no! And-"

Spirit Baltar appeared. "Yes yes, the amazing President Lee Adama spoke to you about your inability to help others. Yada yada. Gaius Frakking Baltar. Bigger issues are at stake here."

"Bigger issues? I thought God was the bigg-"

"He is. He is not happy."

"With what?"

"You will see. Get in the shuttle."

"Where are we going?"

Spirit Caprica squinted. "Deep Space Nine."

The shuttle launched, arriving within a few minutes.

Baltar was dragged along the station, into the sick bay.

Doctor Julian Bashir held up his hands. The doctor was young, and he had one of those faces that usually screamed positivity. It wasn't right now, however. "I'm sorry I can't let you-"

Spirit Caprica appeared to him. "We have business with the Emissary of the Prophets."

Bashir sized up Carpica. While a normal human wouldn't be able to notice anything that made her different form a human, his genetically engineered brain saw a few minor details in the way the skin folded. "Ugh Q attracts a lot of attention… well I'm sorry but the Captain is currently unconscious."

"We can wake him up."

Baltar blinked. "You can?"

Spirit Baltar sighed. "Don't be daft. We have power."

"Then why-"

Bashir interrupted. "If you can cure him, do so. You can have your audience after that."

Spirit Caprica nodded, then walked over to Sisko. The black Starfleet Captain was lying down peacefully. She put her hand forth.

Sisko awoke. "Wha-"

"What the h*** were you THINKING you PROPHETS?"

Sisko grunted. "They were ensuring the protection of their people-"

Baltar had never seen Spirit Caprica like this, looking like she was about to burst a blood vessel. "Well this has ruined our people's destiny further! The cycle is going to continue! They-"

Sisko glared. "If you know anything it's that the cycle can be broken in many ways, not just your own."

Spirit Caprica glared, in silence.

Spirit Baltar looked thoughtful. "He is right-"

"The people will not follow God."

"That is also true. But that is why we have people like Baltar here."

Baltar blinked. "Um.. hi?" He said, feeling a lot like a bug under a microscope.

"Yes you, you will bring the word to the world."

"If there's a new colony I'll be busy organizing it and giving in scientific input-"

Spirit Baltar sighed. "Unfortunately the Federation brought with it scientists much more capable than you."

Sisko stood up. "If you three don't mind, I'm going to go find my wife and son. I've been gone for a while." He turned. "Also, your kind make me sick. The Prophets never demanded worship, it just happened. You do." He walked off.

Spirit Baltar sighed. "This could be a problem."

Spirit Caprica slammed her hand on the table. "You think?"

Doctor Bashir stared at them. He said nothing.

Spirit Caprica flicked him in the forehead. "He will remember nothing of us. Too bad we can't do that to Sisko."

Spirit Baltar grunted. "Gaius?"

"Yes?"

"That Benjamin Sisko is your enemy. He represents an enemy of God."

"The Prophets, I got that much. Are they the Lords of Kobol?"

"No. The Lords of Kobol do not interfere directly. The Prophets do."

Baltar raised his hand. "I'm thinking that the less I know about the battles between gods, the better."

Spirit Caprica smiled. "Smart."

Baltar nodded. "Can we get out of here?"

"Of course."

As they left, Garak blinked. The 'gods' were at war over this fleet.

He turned around.

He had missed being "a simple tailor."

He walked into his old shop, and began to clean up.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter hadn't slept that night. At all. He was at the bar till 2 AM. Then he just wandered around the city for hours.

It was currently 8 AM. He was in Olivia's hospital room. He wasn't entirely sure when he had gotten here, but here he was.

She was scheduled to be taken off life support the following morning.

Peter sighed. The Fringe division was going to go down, Olivia was dying, and those two new agents were driving him nuts with their questions.

He leaned over Olivia.

Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she spout out the words "Einai kalytero anthropo apo ton patera toy." Before taking a big breath and looking panicked.

"I can't remember anything… I'm supposed to remember something… our lives depend on it.."

Peter held her. "It's allright. Calm down. I'm here."

Olivia blinked. "Oh thank Goodness…." She let out a breath of air. "I… can't remember anything. I met someone…"

Peter smiled at her. "You went to another universe, apparently."

Olivia blinked. "Well that's wonderful. I went to another universe and don't remember it."

Peter nodded. "Someone didn't want you talking. Your car was attacked by a truck."

"So is that why I'm in a hospital?"

"Well… partly."

"What was the weirdness this time?" She asked, used to the weird by now.

"For you, the crash didn't happen for half an hour."

"Oh. That's not too bad is it?"

"They almost pulled you off life support."

"Ah…"

Peter smiled. "Now I have to go find out who did this to you and why, since you're in bed and incapacitated and all."

"Just a few minute ago you were probably worried sick and now you're joking about it. Amazing recovery Peter."

"I try my best." He scratched his beard. "By the way, you spouted something out in Greek."

"I did?"

"It meant "be a better man than your father." my mom used to tell that to me. Course it was after Walter left."

Olivia looked thoughtful. "I have no idea why-"

"Don't worry about it. I'm off to solve your case."

He left the room, a feeling of relief washing over him. She was fine. She would recover.

Now he just had a case to solve.

He marched into the FBI building.

"Hey I need the files on the Olivia Dunham case-"

"I'm sorry sir, your ID card is outdated."

"What?"

"Discontinued yesterday. Your division is officially shut down."

Peter tensed. "Lady, I don't kno-"

Mulder handed over his ID. "I'm sure mine is still valid?"

The receptionist sighed. "I feared this day this would come. Spooky gets security clearance. Here. Take them."

Peter stared. "Um… thank you."

Mulder grinned. "Don't mention it. Broyles basically instated me as a loophole. Didn't put me on Fringe, just raised my clearance." He whistled. "So much is in classified documents. My enemies are probably sitting somewhere steaming."

Peter blinked. "Great. You have enemies."

"Oh yes, there's this old guy who smokes cigarettes. The Smoking Man. I don't know his name, just his aliases. Likes to sit in the background and observe."

Something tugged at the back of Peter's mind. He couldn't place it.

"Well let's go solve an X-file!"

"Fringe case."

"Fringe doesn't exist right now. If we can't open it, we'll be operating under the X-files."

Peter sighed. "Great. Just great."

"Hey, at least we can get you to keep your job."

Mulder got a call. He answered it, and smiled. "Guess what. We got a hit on the guy who was driving the truck who hit Olivia."

"And?"

"He's dead."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Walter looked up from the body. "Agent, I need this body taken back to my lab."

The agent blinked. "Hey lunatic! This body is going to the morgue!" He looked around. "is he crazy?"

Mulder smiled. "Take him wherever he wants."

Walter stood up, looking giddy. "Wonderful!"

Scully stared. "He's crazy isn't he?"

Peter nodded. "Oh yeah."

They walked outside.

As they were about to get into the car, Walter ran up.

"Peter Peter! They said I could ride in the back with the body! Can I?"

"Sure. Of course you can. Stay out of the medication though. Please."

Walter ran off in glee.

The Agents got into the car, Scully being bewildered and Mulder with a stupid grin on his face.

"Well, agents of the X-files, you are about to be taken to a mad scientist's laboratory!"

Scully rolled her eyes. "We've seen a few of those."

"You haven't seen one like this…"

Less than an hour later, they were at Harvard.

"This is your last chance to turn back agents."

Mulder rubbed his hands. "You know that's nothing more than a bigger incentive."

"Of course." He threw open the door. "Welcome to the Fringe division."

Mulder looked around and nodded. "Slightly more up to date- but nothing too bad-"

"PETER! I'm making custard for your birthday!"

"Walter, I don't like custard. And if you insist on making it, make it with DIFFERENT gloves than the one you are using to examine the body with."

"Oh right. Sorry Peter."

Mulder had to admit, a halfway-made custard next to an autopsy was somewhat unusual.

Scully was the first to see the cow. "Uh.. there's a cow in here."

Mulder laughed. "OF COURSE THERE IS! Who wouldn't have one?"

Peter smiled. "That's Gene. Walter's obsessed with her."

"Bovines are amazing."

Astrid Farnsworth, a young agent with really bouncy hair, stood up. "Okay Walter I've begun baking- oh hello! Who are the new people?"

Scully smiled at the dark-skinned girl with poofy hair. "Agent Dana Scully and Fox Mulder. New additions to your division."

Peter sighed. "If we can convince the higher ups to keep it open."

Mulder frowned. "I think I can get all of you to work on the X-files if this doesn't work, but I doubt you'll have the funding to run… this lab anymore."

Walter blinked. "We must make them think we're worthwhile then. GET ME THE BONE SAW!"

"Why?" Astrid asked.

"Because they need to start taking us seriously and doing an autopsy with a bone saw is serious. Why else?"

"Of course Walter."

Peter turned to the agents. "The only other person who helps in our division is Charlie, and he technically works as a normal agent. You'll probably meet him eventually."

"That's peculiar…" Walter muttered, upon examining the body further. "Three holes in the roof of the mouth…" He ran off to go look for an old tape.

Mulder looked at the roof of the mouth. "That is interesting."

Scully looked over as well. "Ever seen anything like it?"

"No, but it's interesting nonetheless…"

Walter put an old tape into the TV. "We were experimenting in the day with a combination of drugs, trying to get a person's mind to tap into the supernatural-"

Mulder blinked. "Wow. You really were a mad scientist."

Scully rolled her eyes. "That's crazy."

Mulder nudged Peter. "We deal with crazy stuff every day, and she always comes up with a scientific explanation. You have no idea how long it took to get her to believe in aliens."

"You deal with aliens?"

"Regularly. You deal with another universe."

"True."

Walter turned to Mulder while the video booted up. "Aliens huh? Hrm… I've always wanted to meet an alien."

"They generally aren't that friendly."

"They don't have to be friendly to be examined."

Scully shuddered.

The video booted up. There was a young woman obviously on a lot of drugs, attached to a strange headset. "Woah man… I can see it…"

The voice of a young Walter came from an unseen place in the video. "What do you see?"

"A man. He's a soldier… He's from another universe man! OH so cool... "

Scully blinked. "Okay that's eerie, but not a direct connectio-"

"He takes the thing… sticks it in the mouth… Three prongs…" She laughed. "Three AGONIZING prongs! He's a shapeshifter! He- they- can look like any of us…"

The video ended.

Scully blinked. "How does that-"

Mulder creased his forehead. "He's a soldier."

Peter nodded. "It means he had a mission."

"He tried to kill Olivia right?" Astrid said.

Everyone's eyes widened.

Peter stood up. "We've got to get to her."

Scully yelled after them. "This isn't enough evidence to go off of!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Utopia Base stargate was a unique stargate.

For one, it was white and blue.

For two, it didn't even have symbols. It was just a ring that could be programmed. There was no such thing as manual dialing.

For three, sine the Hoseki system could move, the gate had a big subspace beacon on top of it so the other gates could find it. The strange crystal attached to the top continually shifted colors.

Patema examined it. "Very interesting…"

Ty Lee gasped. "I can airbend!" She floated into the air and blew air around. "But I can also move objects and hear minds… I'm also sensing other things as well-"

Someone walked into the gateroom. He looked like he was sixteen or so. And Ty Lee thought that he was hot. Very much so. He was wearing a green shirt, and had at least three weapons on his person. An ornate red and blue sword, a strange bluish trident slung on his back, and a gun in his belt.

"I am Wingding Seth Frieze. Welcome to Hoseki. And to explain why you have both your powers, we have set our system's fabric to adapt to all powers simultaneously. Its a bit… annoying at times but it lets everyone live their lives here as they always have. We edit it every time we discover a new universe."

Wendy nodded. "Impressive."

"I'm not allowed to tell you how we do it, Agent C."

Wendy smiled. "So you remember me do you?"

"Oh yes." Seth said. "Now, SG-13, you want your tour?"

"YES!" Everyone yelled.

Seth smiled. "Into this shuttlepod."

The shuttlepod blasted off, showcasing the Hoseki System. All around, dim bluish energy flowed.

"We discovered a year or two ago that there is this thing called hypserspace that is separate from all other realities. Your people use it to travel faster than light. We use it to stay somewhat separate from any of the universes. Not as good as leaving reality, but as we discovered that was impossible."

Patema looked around at the rippling of hyperspace. "Why isn't it bright? Whenever I travel-"

"We're stationery. The ripples are excited by motion."

"Do you have a shield around the entire system?"

"Ah that I can tell you about. Yes. The central star of the system, Hoseki, is not just a freakishly big purple star. Inside it, is a neutron star, and throughout the entire thing is a bunch of machines collectively known as the 'Net.' The Net keeps Hoseki from killing the entire system with it's radiation, as well as drawing power from Hoseki. This power can be translated into a shield, among other things."

Wendy took "among other things" to include weapons.

"The Hoseki System consists of several other stars however. Virmillion, Niteo, Sol, Andromeda, and Diam make up the other stars. We also have a white dwarf, known simply as The Spark. These seven stars are represented on our symbol by dots with their colors on it. Hoseki in the center of course."

The ship flew around, showing the wide variety of star colors. Around some of them, were smaller stars.

"We call those protostars. They're basically tiny stars that've been colored by the thaumic fabric."

The ship flew past the dark blue star, Diam. There were so many planets visible as pinpricks of light. Some even seemed to glow. The ship then flew through a tiny, pink nebula. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fairyland Nebula."

They flew past a world made entirely of water. A planet of diamond. A black gas giant. A world that was constantly exploding. A tremendous gas giant with a black storm. A glowing gas giant. A world with plants big enough to be seen from space.

"And next on our little tour is our little devourer of worlds, Mavros, the black hole."

Patema's eyes widened. "You have a black hole in your system?"

"A relatively small one, but yes. Look there."

She could see an ugly brown planet and a space station orbiting… something. She couldn't see anything.

"That's a horrible feeling."

Seth turned to Jinora. "Psychically sensitive people tend not to like the feeling of a black hole. Sorry-"

Jinora nodded. "I feel… nothing coming from it. At all. Not even the ambience of space. Then, right outside of it, I feel everything screaming. Like everything that's going in there knows it's not coming out."

Seth smiled. "There actually are ways to escape. Project a wormhole inside the event horizon, or perform a white hole jumpstart."

Jinora nodded. "Can we back away? It's unsettling."

Seth nodded. "This is why we generally can't have anyone with the gene work at Station M1 or Spork."

"Spork?" Ty Lee asked, giggling at the name.

"The planet. It's used as a dump. Dumping things into a black hole has to be controlled, so we don't bake the system in radiation."

Deadpool was bored. "Are we going to DO anything?"

Seth rolled his eyes. "We haven't opened trade with anyone yet so we just can't have you waltzing in. Soon as we invent a space stargate we'll probably open borders."

Jinora nodded. "We understand. How long until you think you have one?"

Seth chuckled. "A month perhaps? Less? Our scientists have the knowledge, we just need to build it. Speaking of building…"

Seth took the ship around.

"Question, Seth, if we're in hyperspace, how are we moving faster than light?"

Seth smiled at Wendy. "Well, agent, inside the engine is a small black hole, about the size of a walnut. We use it's gravity to distort the space around us. A kind of warp drive. So we don't have to use the laws of hyperspace to move within hyperspace."

Wendy nodded.

"And we're here!" Seth said.

SG-13 looked out the window at a terrestrial planet completely covered in one big city. There were hundreds of ships circling the planet, along with various stations.

"Welcome to Xipetotec, the industrial capital of Hoseki. Here, we have a little surprise for you."

"Surprise?"

"Come with me to station X4…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Adama was staring at a picture.

He was standing over Anders again.

"The gods war over their people… Even though one side is dead… The other fights nonetheless. End of line. Terra is near."

"Anders." Adama asked. "Can we do it?"

"Affirmative. Six light years directly corewards."

Adama blinked. That was a straight answer.

"Kara." Adama said. "Come with me."

Kara Nodded. "What are we doing?"

Adama looked at the photograph. A little girl stood there, smiling, with her mother and father. "We are going to save Hera."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Picard was surprised to receive a personal visit from Adama.

Picard looked up at the Admiral, smiling. "Why the personal visit?"

Adama sat down. "Because I may not be back."

Picard's smile vanished. "I've seen this in many people. It's just before they do something stupid."

"You are aware that the Cylons took a child from us a week ago?"

"Yes. Hera. Half Cylon half Human. What does-"

"We're going to save her. It means a lot to much of the crew."

"Risking the entire crew for a child?"

"It was volunteer only. Over 70% agreed to come."

Picard sat back. "Not anything I can do to change your mind is there?"

Adama shook his head. "Not going to happen. However, I do have a bit of a problem."

"And that is?"

"Every skilled officer wants to come with me. I had to tell the Doc to stay behind."

Picard blinked. "The president is coming to isn't he?"

Adama smiled. "My son is a bit headstrong."

Picard sat back. "You're here to ask me to be leader in your absence?"

"Your people are already talking about making you the Admiral of your fleet. Why the entire fleet?"

"It seems like a good idea. Except that you're walking into a death trap."

"Yes I am, Captain."

"And I can only replace you, not the president."

"Lee has a replacement for him in mind."

Picard nodded. "Well, if you're sure…"

"It will likely be a one way trip."

Picard sighed. He had barely known this man, and he already found him as a kindred spirit. He also knew perfectly well when someone like him wasn't going to back down from doing what's right. "She is an important child from what I hear."

Adama nodded. "Many of us think she is the key to our survival. I just know she's special."

Picard sat back. "Well, I'm going to become Admiral eventually anyway. Why not now, I suppose."

Adama smiled, standing up. "I've got a mission to go plan."

Picard walked up to the food replicator. "Earl Grey, Hot." The steaming drink appeared, and Picard handed it to Adama.

Adama stared at the replicator. "Amazing technology."

Picard smiled. "An offering to strengthen the New Federation."

"I like that name."

Adama began to show himself out.

"Oh, and i'll be assigning the Defiant to your mission."

Adama blinked. "You don't have to-"

"No. But then again, are you going to try and convince me otherwise?"

Adama sighed, then chuckled. "Of course not, Admiral."

"No premature rank usage here, Admiral."

Adama shrugged, and walked out.

Picard gave the call to the Defiant.

"Worf, you just got promoted to Captain. We'll sort the details out later."

Worf nodded. "Captain, we were just about to call to promote you to Admiral."

"I know. Well, I'll replicate some uniform pips. I've got an assignment for you, Captain."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Worf stood in the CIC of Galactica.

These people were excellent in tactics.

"We can't use the Defiant alone. The Colony is around a black hole, and that would wreak havoc with the transporter beam. Galactica is more suited to board the Colony."

Worf acknowledged Colonel Tigh. "We can assist by drawing fire, and using Runabouts to destroy major weapons platforms."

"Don't hit the living sections. We don't know where Hera is being kept."

Worf nodded.

Kara bit her lip. "We can't survive for long that close if the weapons keep firing, and the Defiant can't disable the smaller ones safely."

Tigh smiled. "We have Anders. We can plug him into their systems. The Hybrids will recognize him as one of the final five and listen to him."

"So we bust in, shut off the weapons, board, and then hope we can survive long enough to grab Hera and get out?" Lee asked.

Everyone nodded.

Lee Adama laughed and shook his head. "We're all crazy." The ex-president and ex-fighter pilot pressed his wrists down, trying to focus.

Kara nodded vigorously. "Let's get to work plugging Sam into the CIC."

"I'll get the Runabouts into your hangars." Worf said.

Carpica spoke up, one of the Cylon Six models. "I'll get some help from the Rebels. No offense, but our Centurions are stronger than humans. It'll help."

Adama smiled. "A joint operation. I never thought I'd see the day. Humans and Cylons working as one…"

Caprica smirked. "Hera is just as special to us as she is to you."

Adama nodded. "Well this still needs some fine tuning, but start getting Anders into the CIC."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Karl "Helo" Agathon ran into his room. He was a tall man with a square jaw and a confident demeanor. "We're going after her! We're going to save Hera!"

His wife, Athena, a model Eight Cylon, just stared. "We're too late. They've probably already cut her open. Sliced her to pieces."

Helo gripped his wife. "Have hope. We will find her."

Athena just started crying.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Kara played the song on the piano.

This song was important.

It had awoken the Final Five Cylons.

Her dad had taught it to her.

It had been played on the Thirteenth Colony, thousands of years ago.

Even Tyrol, who had played it, didn't know where it had come from.

It must be important. It had defined their journey in more ways than one.

She scribbled more notes.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Patema sucked in her breath.

"Is that-?"

"A shipyard making six Prometheus class ships? Yes."

Patema whooped. "We could really use some of those!"

"They'll be done in two weeks."

Wendy squinted. "How did you get the designs?"  
"Scanned your ship as soon as you dropped shields. Nothing of any worth to us, we have better versions. Although we can't give you the transporter systems, those were blocked from scans somehow. This way, we can give you people a gift without giving you our military technology."

Patema squealed. "Maybe i'll finally get to drive one!"

Deadpool laughed. "I bet you can't even reach the pedals!"

"It's controlled by a computer!"

"Bet the chair's too short."

Patema turned red. "DEADPOOL! I am leader. Do a hundred pushups or I report you to Hammond."

Deadpool sighed. "One… Two…"

Jinora frowned. Even if this was a gift, it was sending the message of "we're far superior to you, and you can hide nothing from us."

And Seth knew it.

Politics.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Charlie Francis walked out of the hospital.

Olivia hadn't been looking too good. She did not feel good just sitting there, helpless. She had a gun under her pillow.

All his years knowing her, she had never been like this. She was trembling, second guessing herself. She knew something important, and she didn't even know what it was. It looked horrible.

He sighed. It was a stressful time for all of them.

A car sped into the parking lot. He saw Peter come out with two agents he didn't recognize.

"Wha-"

"Shapeshifting goon trying to kill Olivia!" Peter yelled.

Francis sprung into action, running back into the hospital. Briefely, he realized that he didn't think that sentence was crazy.

Scully yelled. "Francis! With me, Peter and Mulder, to her room. Cut off all exits."

Mulder ran faster than Peter, busting in the door.

A female nurse was trying to strangle Olivia. Mulder shot her in the back. She recoiled, before jumping out the window.

Mulder raised the com to his mouth. "Suspect is superhuman, female, brown hair, nurse's outfit. Though remember that could change at any moment."

Peter ran to Olivia. "You okay?"

"Yes… She wanted to know who I met…"

Mulder ran out of the room, hoping to catch up with the shapeshifter.

Francis saw her first. "There!" he yelled, before taking off into the building. Scully was caught off guard, and in those few seconds, she lost track of Francis. "Crap…"

Mulder and Peter ran in. "Where is she?"

"Francis was chasing her-"

Gunshots were fired. Repeatedly.

The three agents ran down the hallway towards the gunshots.

Francis was standing over a dead woman. In her hand was an obviously broken machine that had a cord ending in three prongs.

"She was darn hard to kill…" Francis said, out of breath.

Peter let out a breath of relief. "Good."

Scully looked down. She still wasn't entirely buying the whole shapeshifter thing, but.. there was that device.

Mulder picked up the device. "Hey Peter. A shapeshifting device. This enough "results?"

Peter smiled. "Probably."

Mulder fist pumped. "Scully! You know what this means right?"

"We get some decent funding?"

"A NEW CEILING TO STICK PENCILS INTO!"

"Oh good grief."  
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Dimensional Conference, as it was now being called, was going relatively well.

Yu and Ba'al's representatives kept getting harped on, but that was expected. Everyone else (aside from the Langarans) got along just fine, though the Asgard did call more than a few of the peoples there primitive.

One thing that surprised Daniel is that after initial introduction, the Asgard and the Nox treated the Hoseki as equals. Even now that they'd been allies with the Asgard for a long time, they still weren't treated as equals. Granted, the condescending attitude had slowly begun to vanish, but it was still there.

President Marlowe spoke, her voice carrying across the room. She was a sound Gari after all. "Okay various peoples from across the multiverse! We're going to try something."

"What?"

"We are going to see if we can contact the Ancients."

Lya raised an eyebrow. "They come to you, you don't come to them."

Thor nodded. "And that is a rare occurrence."

Marlowe smiled. "We have… an idea. Bring in Pollux."

In drifted a sphere of blue light. Slightly bigger than a head, it drifted in. As it spoke in it's oddly human voice, its brightness pulsed. "At your service madame president." The representatives gasped.

Marlowe turned. "This is a Phasian, one of the thirteen races residing in the System. An energy being. Nowhere near on a power scale close to the Ancients, but we believe we can boost him up there temporarily. Pollux?"

"I am excited to make contact! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT EXTRA JUICE!"

"Good. High Mage Marlowe? Will you do the honors?"

The President's sister walked up, gave a cocky smile, and took a small stone from Marlowe's hands. The Mage then turned to Pollux, placing her staff in front of her. The energy blast that came out went directly into Pollux, causing his light to increase in intensity. The light turned from blue to white, and blue electricity crackled. Then, all was calm. Pollux was a wisp of white light, moving, flowing.

"This is different…" Pollux mused, he looked around. "I wonder if in this form I can finally figure out what fried chicken tastes like..."

There were at least three of them here. Wisps of light like himself, but invisible to everyone else. "Oh come on I can see you, at least give me the respect of acknowledging that I can. Show yourselves to the others."

One of the Ancients took a physical form, that of a man. "You know we cannot interfere."

Marlowe clapped her hands. "Ah! But you can talk. That is all we wanted."

The man stared, emotionless. "We cannot change anything either by what we say. I am just here to state our intentions. We are observers, nothing more."

"You are aware of what we brought in with us?"

"Yes. You have no need to warn us of him. We are aware of his presence."

Marlowe nodded. "Very well. I extend our hand in friendship."

"We will only befriend those who enter our plane. Your pseudo-ascension here doesn't qualify."

As if on cue, Pollux reverted to his original form.

The man kept a straight face. "I admit, your System is intriguing. We had some similar things before we ascended."

Marlowe sighed. "We decided not to go for ascension. We fought a war against beings similar to you. We decided that life was not worth pursuing afterward."

The man looked at her closely. Marlowe knew he was considering how they could have possibly fought a war against people like him. "Your loss then. We will meet again, but we are not going to be "friends."

"As you wish. I was hoping for more."

"Perhaps one day we will deem you worthy. As it is, no." Then the man vanished.

Miranda twitched. "He's still here. I can sense his thaumic signature."

Marlowe nodded. "We got some scans. We can detect them now." She turned to the various people's. "As a sign of friendship, we will give all of you this detection technology, for if this conference didn't exist, we never would have made it. We thank you." She smiled. She then turned to the Goa'Uld. "We will be talking about our possible alliance form here on out. You three are not invited. Also, you do not get the detector."

Ba'al's representative twitched. "Fine."

Yu's representative bowed respectively, then walked towards the gate.

Djehuty looked up at Marlowe with his reptilian face. "Remember what we talked about."

Marlowe smiled. "Of course."

As the three of them left, Marlowe cracked her knuckles. "Now, the alliance. Some of us are already allies, but there isn't any major network yet, so I propose we-"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Romo Lampkin, acting president of the fleet, was on the last shuttle off Galactica.

He turned to Lee. "I suppose this is fitting irony…"

"You'll do fine Romo." Lee said, smiling.

"You come back you hear? I don't want to have to deal with that Picard fellow every other day"

"He's a nice guy. Smart to. Won't be too much different from the Admiral-"

"Yeah that's why I said I don't want to have to deal with him. I hear lots of things about how much of a headache your father is."

Lee chuckled. "Yeah he is... " Lee looked at Galactica. "This is the last mission."

Romo nodded. "Oh yes, even if you survive, this ship isn't going to be able to handle anything afterward."

Lee smiled. "Well, President Lampkin, best of luck."

"To you as well." Romo stood up, and walked into the last outbound raptor.

Gaius Baltar and two of his followers were the only people left who needed to leave. They walked up. His followers got in, but Baltar hesitated.

"Gaius?" One of the women said, worried about his hesitation.

Baltar looked at Lee.

 _Never once have I seen you do one act that did not in some way help Gaius Frakkin Baltar_

"One selfless act... " Baltar muttered to himself. He turned to his followers. "Go without me. You will survive. I have to do this."

His followers protested, but he held up his hand. "You will do fine."

He stepped out of the Raptor. Then walked away, unsure of what he'd just done.

Lee walked up to him and thrust a gun in his hand. "This end shoots, and this is how you reload. Aim like this." He smiled. "Glad to have you on board Doctor."

Despite himself, Baltar smiled. "Of course."

"Now go find a corridor and sit there and shoot at anything that is Cylon without the red stripe."

"Gotcha…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

There had been five presidents of the Fleet.

Romo Lampkin was the latest.

Lee Adama before that.

Then a man known as Tom Zarek. He was no longer alive. Executed as a traitor.

For a time, Gaius Baltar served as president.

But the first president was an old woman who was dying from cancer currently, Laura Roslin.

She sat in the Enterprise's sickbay, being operated on by some machine.

Spirit Caprica and Q stood over her.

"She is supposed to die before-"

Q grinned. "Yes she is. But you know how i love messing things up."

Spirit Caprica glared. "Such a perfectly laid out plan, destroyed by your desire to have fun."

"Ah, but I personally think things will be better this way!"

"We will have our revenge on you, one way or another."

"Good luck. I'm now one of the strongest beings in the entire multiverse! Not much can stop me at this point!"

Spirit Caprica huffed. "Fine. You have your precious Federation. We have our Colonials. And the Prophets have their Bajorans."

Q chuckled at mention of the Prophets.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Laura Roslin was being saved.

Things would never be the same.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Adama walked into the CIC to see several pipes and tubes just dangling. Anders was on the secondary floor, attached to all the pipes. Adama glared at the pipes lethally.

Tigh smirked. "Still not too late to throw them all out the airlock Bill."

"Not worth it." Adama chuckled. "Let's do this."

The Final Five cylons, plus Caprica, were all here.

"Flick the switch, Hera awaits." Anders said in that monotone voice of his.

Saul walked up to take his place as a Final Five Cylon, along with his wife Ellen, chief Tyrol, Torri, and of course Anders himself. "Here we go Admiral! Take us out!"

Adama gave the signal to Worf.

"Prepare for jump!"

Ellen clinged to her husband. "This is it."

"Final battle." Saul responded.

"Let's do this together."

The ship jumped.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Defiant entered warp.

Worf grinned. A battle was about to occur. It was against a physically weaker opponent, but the goal was complicated enough that it would be a challenge.

They would be a few seconds behind Galactica…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Galactica appeared just feet away from the Cylon Colony. Instantly, the weapons reacted, battering the Galactica with weapons fire. The hull began to buckle.

Saul looked down at Anders. "Come on, shut them off…"

"The moment of perfection, arrival. End of line. Shutting down cannons."

The firing stopped.

The Defiant sailed in, firing weapons.

The Galactica drove itself into the Colony wall, effectively boarding it.

"Let's go!"

Without main cannons, the Colony launched hundreds of fighters. Defiant's job was to take care of these. It fired phasers over and over again, sometimes getting multiple fighters in one shot. The pathetic fighter weapons were doing next to nothing to Defiant's shields.

Individually.

"Shields down to 90%"

Worf grunted. Lots of ants could kill a person, after all.

Then something else arrived.

A strange pyramid shaped ship dropped out of hyperspace, firing a plasma cannon.

"Shields at 75% That was a big hit!"

Worf growled. These newcomers just complicated things.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter flung open the doors to the lab.

He was surprised to find an entire corner of the lab had been completely redone. A large desk, and a ton of filing cabinets. Various articles were pinned up, along with an "I WANT TO BELIEVE" poster. There were pictures of strange things, a computer, and a box of pencils.

The cabinets had the words "X-files" on them.

Mulder grinned. "You now have access to the vast library of unexplained events the FBI has come across. And I have funding."

Peter blinked. "What did Walter think of this?"

"I gave him a file on the studies done on a bee with an alien virus in it. He overlooked the fact that I had to move his ant experiment."

Walter ran across the lab. "This is extraordinary! A virus of extraterrestrial origin!"

"Wait you believe him?" Peter said, surprised.

"Peter, life doesn't form like this here."

"You're not trying to sequence it are you?"

"I couldn't with the supplies I have! It's just way too complicated! I should ask for more-"

"No. Walter, we are not sequencing an alien virus."

"But Peter-"

"No."

Mulder clapped his hands. "Welcome to the Fringe-X Division."

Peter scratched his chin. "That actually sounds cool."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Charlie Francis looked over his shoulder. He stooped down.

On the floor, there was a body.

The body of the real Charlie Francis.

The Shapeshifter sighed. He was stuck like this now. He'd had to ditch the machine to make it look convincing.

It was a good position, but his kind wasn't meant to stay in one form for long. He hoped he could get the information he needed quickly.

He threw the real Charlie into a furnace.

He then walked away, awaiting orders from his superiors. Agent Dunham had eluded him, and was now alive and protected. No longer an easy target.

In the shadows, unknownst to the Shapeshifter, a man smoked a cigarette.

He spoke to his companion. "They do not appear to have as many capabilities as your kind."

The man, who wasn't really a man, standing next to him didn't respond.

"Your plans will still come around. It's just under a year away. What can they do before then?"

The man turned to him, handing the Smoking Man a piece of paper before wandering off.

The Smoking Man unfolded it.

The Stargate Program.

He furrowed his brow. What could they have done that messed up the plan? He had been told they hadn't made any allies that could protect them…

He folded the piece of paper up. It was time to look at the Stargate Program once again.

As he left, a bald man in a black hat walked behind him.

The question was not who watches the watchers.

Or even who watches the watchers of watchers.

It was who watches the watchers of watchers of watchers.

The Observer adjusted his hat. It was possible that there was someone watching even him. It was something worth pondering.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

At the conference, a Planeht in a tutu watched the proceedings.

Complications. Less than a year away from execution, and complications begin to arise.

More… drastic measures were going to have to be taken.

He looked up.

The Mage was staring at him.

He looked back, and smirked.

The Mage rolled her eyes, and went back to talking with her sister.

The Planeht turned. So, people she couldn't read were common enough that it didn't raise suspicion. Good.

He walked out of the conference.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

ELOO ZDWFKHV WKH ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV RI ZDWFKHUV.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **OP - Look below for some fun new things! Look above if you want to break your brain! ITS ALL UP TO YOU! Just a note, for those of you who haven't figured it out… Deadpool. I will say no more. *CAPSLOCK INTENSIFIES* HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! :D**

 **GM: hey people we have a forum! Access it through our profile! WOOT WOOT! Dunno how it's going to turn out but whatever. Have no clue when the next day is coming out, but January 3 will signal the end of the introduction. Then we can get into a more… "daily episode" format. They'll also start being somewhat shorter (meaning we can get them produced faster!)**

 **and summer is coming up. Depending on how things pan out, we may or may not be able to get them out even faster.**

 ***caps lock intensifies***


	4. January 3: Home

AN:

 **GM- here is the conclusion of the introduction. Sounds like a contradiction in terms. It's not.**

[][][][][][][][][][]

Tuesday, January 3: Home

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

President Romo Lampkin was staring at paperwork.

He'd been president only for a few hours.

And already, there was paperwork.

Having been a defense lawyer before, he was no stranger to it. That didn't mean he had to like it. It was tedious, boring, and if people just had some common sense most of it wouldn't be necessary.

And, unlike people, who began to make sense if he studied them for a while, the paperwork actually managed to make less sense. What did this clause mean? Why? And his lawyer brain could always see the many loopholes. MANY loopholes. He was far too lazy to bother fixing all of them though. That would take decades.

He adjusted his sunglasses, petting his dog Jake. He thought for a moment how he had gone from a rather corrupt kleptomaniac lawyer to the president of the fleet. And why he had a dog despite hating them more than cats.

He was a background man until Gaius Baltar had been put on trial for crimes against the fleet. The Ex-president was not very popular with most of the people. And back then, there wasn't really much in the way of the Baltar monotheistic religious movement. A defense lawyer for such a man would be targeted.

So when the first lawyer was assassinated, Lampkin was the only one who would take the job. He became rather hated by the people for protecting such a man. Collaborating with Baltar meant collaboration with the Cylons, in their eyes. Lampkin was targeted multiple times, but despite the odds he managed to successfully plead Baltar's case, letting him off.

Things steadily died down after that, though he was still heavily hated.

Then he helped Lee Adama become president. Despite his… questionable methods of making sure Lee was fit for the job, they became colleagues, if not friends. Jake was a gift from Lee, after all. He began to redeem himself in the eyes of the people.

Heck, against his better judgement he even helped stop the coup against the military that happened recently.

Apparently, that was enough. He was president. And there wasn't a huge outcry.

Yet, he reminded himself. There easily could be.

He pulled open his desk drawer. Inside was a large quantity of random items. The extra set of admiral pins, some glasses, a pen, a book, a shoe, a Starfleet comm pin, and a strange statue.

He smiled to himself. Sure, maybe he was less corrupt now. Experiences shaped a man, after all. But he still had his kleptomania "problem."

Looking at the paperwork on his desk, he realized there was a problem.

He rung up Admiral Picard. "How's the military taking to your command?" Lampkin was very thankful that they were able to install a screen on Colonial one. Much easier to read a person's face than their voice.

"Everyone's taking it well. The Colonials trusted Adama's decision, and the Federation already wanted to follow me. Except-"

"Scorpius and his Peacekeepers? That's why I'm calling. We are going to have to find a way to either get him to listen to us or leave."

"He won't leave. He's not dumb. He's in an unknown area. He has no clue what lies beyond the couple dozen light years your worlds have explored. Safety in numbers."

Lampkin nodded, observing Picard in the process. The man was old, and had seen a lot. Lampkin could only guess the extent of his experiences. "Then we're going to need to confront him."

"Ask for a meeting and talk it out?"  
"That won't work. From the crew on Moya and Talyn, I've been able to gather that Scorpius is a bit of a megalomaniac. Loyal to his military, but virtually nothing else. He will view any attempt at incorporating him into our command structure to be an attempt at corrupting his militaries way of life." Lampkin adjusted his sunglasses before continuing. "And, my personal assessment is that his 'loyalty' is really only a cover for his extreme desire to control things and gain power. Where he's from, the Peacekeepers are the strongest race. He will put himself in the position of greatest power he can acquire. In command of the Command Carrier-" Lampkin paused for a moment about how annoying the phrase "command of the command carrier" was. He quickly recovered. "-is the highest position that is easily accessible to him. He views adapting to any of our desires would be lowering his position."

Picard nodded, thoughtful. "We need to give him reason to believe that siding with us will increase his power?"

Lampkin nodded, smiling to himself inwardly. This Picard fellow was smart.

"Now, I have a suggestion, and you're not going to like what it is."

Picard furrowed his brow. What could-

Oh. He thought, realizing what it was. Lampkin was right. He didn't like that suggestion.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ba'al tensed. This ship was more advanced than his. It wasn't that large of a margin, but it was enough.

Gliders would do nothing to the squat white vessel, the shields were too strong. And Ba'al's own shields were depleting rapidly.

And unlike most other people in the universe, whoever was driving that ship had a clear understanding of tactics. On par with Ba'al's. And Ba'al had the weaker ship. He grunted.

He would have to resort to more covert options.

He planned a maneuver. He executed a micro-hyperspace jump, vanishing from view, and reappearing a few thousand kilometers away.

Only the Ha'tak wasn't visible anymore. Ba'al's pyramidal ship had activated its newest feature: a cloak.

He reasoned that this ship, whatever it was, probably could detect him if they looked. However, it would have looked like he ran away.

Ba'al sat back. He would come back into the battle if he felt like it. But right now, observing seemed like a good idea.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Worf grinned at the ship's retreat. He turned his attention back to the fighters, blasting them out of the sky with phasers. This was a chaotic battle, and he was winning.

The taste of victory was a sweet feeling for a Klingon. Even one as reserved as Captain Worf.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Colony shook.

Deep in the labs, a Four was at work. Preparing Hera for brain surgery.

Boomer looked at him in disgust. "How can you possibly be so calm while we are under attack? Our brethren are dying out there!"

"We will be victorious." Four said in a monotone voice. "Lives lost mean nothing."

And with that remark, Boomer made her decision. She sighed. "Sorry." She muttered before blasting the Four in the head. She picked up Hera. "Come on, we're taking you home."

She ran down the hallway.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Colonial/Cylon/Starfleet strikeforce was moving through the Colony, looking for Hera. There was an odd mix. Humans, humanoid Cylons, Centurion Cylons with a red stripe painted on them, and a few Starfleet personnel, including a very useful one.

Lee nodded to Agra Nix, a Betazoid. He held up his hand, indicating he sensed hostile minds closing in on them.

Lee nodded, backing up against a wall, before turning the corner and blasting his gun. Phaser fire and Cylon arm-cannon blasts accompanied him.

Lieutenant Tom Paris, a young rebellious starfleet officer, grinned. "Haven't had this much excitement since we got back from the Delta Quadrant!"

His friend, Harry Kim, sighed. "Remind me why I agreed to come on this mission again…"

Tom snickered while blasting a Cylon. "Because I was coming and you couldn't bring yourself not to watch me."

"I'm regretting that decision rather quickly."

Kara Thrace ran out from the ranks, using a Colonial firearm in one hand and a Phaser form a downed Federation officer at once. She even physically kicked down a full Cylon centurion.

She grinned. Perhaps her mysterious rebirth had given her strength. Who knew.

Then something unexpected happened. A man with a tattoo on his forehead readied some kind of staff, which shot a plasma blast. She jumped to the left, shooting him in the process, but his presence had alarmed her. "Unknown footsoldier! Wearing unusual armor and carrying a staff. Shoots energy."

Lee cursed under his breath. Whatever that ship was that had attacked, they had left some foot soldiers. Great. "Approach with caution!"

"I'm approaching everything with caution!"

"Just… be advised that they have unknown capabilities!"

"Gotcha! Mr President!"

"I'm not the President anymore!"

Helo stepped forth, using his brute fighting style to take down several Two's. He was going to save his daughter, if it was the last thing he did. Nothing was going to stop him.

Bullets and lasers flew left and right. A few more of the odd warriors appeared, shot off a few plasma bolts, and fell.

Kara dodged a staff blast, only to have the weapon itself slap into her back. It hit hard. She fell to the ground, dazed.

The warrior stood over her, grinning. "Odd how it seems their best warrior is a woman." He readied his staff.

Kara stood up, and pushed forth with her hands.

The man went flying upwards, into the ceiling, before falling onto the ground.

Kara stared at her own hands. Normal people didn't have that kind of strength.

Tom and Harry were lasering their way through waves of enemies.

"Tom, seriously, you owe me after this."

"I tend to remember that you owe me several things. I've saved your butt many times. As well as done favors-"

"Okay then consider this payment for all those things I owe you."

"Harry, come on, I'm going through just as much trouble as-"

A staff blast hit Harry in the back, making him kneel over.

Tom's eyes widened. "Harry!" He yelled, stooping to the ground and guarding his friend.

Harry coughed. "Well Tom…"

"No you can't die. You've survived so many hits over the years."

"Tom. I'm not invincible." Harry coughed up blood. "I've run out of lives, as it were."

"Harry you're not a cat." Tom said, choking.

"You're right. I've had more than nine…" Harry coughed, slumping in Tom's arms.

Tom stood there, staring.

Almost a decade he had lived with this man.

Tom stood up, silently blasting a Cylon.

The Colonials looked at him in understanding.

They also needed angry people right now. This was a warzone.

The boarding party continued deeper into the Colony.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Emergency Medical Hologram, or just the Doctor, was treating the sick. His appearance was that of a certain Doctor Zimmerman. He appeared to be old, wrinkled, and balding. His bedside manner wasn't the best, and he didn't have the best social skills. But he was still a doctor.

Even with the Starfleet medical supplies, he couldn't save everyone that was dying. Being a doctor, that didn't sit well with him.

The Cylons must have found a way to board Galactica itself.

The Doctor grunted to himself, healing anyone he could.

A woman came in with a burn to her face. Half of it was missing.

The Doctor cringed, marking her forehead with a black X. She couldn't be saved.

He called on a nurse to take her beyond the curtain.

He went back to mending a man who had lost an arm.

Odd, how more of his body was injured, but he would live.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Baltar and Caprica were in a hallway, blasting the Cylons that attempted to pass.

Q appeared behind them. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Baltar groaned. "Great. You."

Caprica looked over her shoulder. "So this is the great Q? You've caused quite the annoyance you know."

"Yes I have. I just wanted to say YOU SHALL NOT PASS to the toasters over there. BYE…!"

He vanished in a flash of light.

Where he had been standing, was a stack of ammo.

Baltar blinked. "Is he on our side?"  
"I think he just wants to keep things interesting." Caprica reloaded, and kept firing.

The Spirits appeared behind them.

"This is not ideal." Spirit Caprica muttered.

"It functions."

"Roslin is supposed to be here."

"She isn't."

Caprica and Baltar yelled over their shoulders. "SHUT UP!"

Then they turned to each other. "You can see them?"

The Spirits smiled. "Your original mission is almost complete. Hera will be saved." She was trying to make sure their two followers would remain faithful.

Caprica and Baltar nodded. Then turned back to their fight.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Laura Roslin was running down a corridor.

She had to be there.

She had to.

The opera house was appearing to her even while she was awake.

She had to be there.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Admiral!"

"Yes Number One?" Picard asked.

"A Roundabout just left the fleet!"

"Who was on it?"

"One Laura Roslin sir!"

Picard tensed. Great. Just great.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Boomer found the strike force.

They saw her holding Hera.

Boomer set Hera on the ground, as she ran to her father.

Helo gripped his daughter tight, looking at Boomer with an odd expression.

On one hand, this Cylon had shot the Admiral.

On the other, she tried to redeem herself.

On the first, she was responsible for taking Hera in the first place.

On the other, she brought her to him.

Helo settled for a look of sadness.

Lee raised the his gun.

"Tell the Admiral I don't owe him one anymore." Boomer said.

Lee nodded, before firing.

It was a solemn moment.

They had all known her personally. She was just another pilot, except that she was a Cylon. But she didn't know it at first. She had lived her life just like the rest of them. Then she shot Adama, without even knowing what she did.

They had treated her horribly after this, which inevitably led to her siding with the Cylons.

They couldn't let her live, the punishment for her crimes would've been death.

But it was harrowing to see that she turned back at the last moment.

They would all second guess that moment in time for the rest of their lives.

Especially Lee and Helo.

Lee turned. "let's go." He said, motioning.

The strange battle bickering and joking around completely ceased at that point. There were no more wisecracks. They just wanted out now.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ba'al watched in surprise as another ship appeared. A small one, coming out of a faster than light travel that was unlike the colonials or hyperspace. It was intriguing.

It instantly headed for Galactica.

Ba'al had a feeling that this was going to bring something about. Something important.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Hera is coming…" Anders muttered.

"Yeah yeah Hera is coming." Gaelin said. "Can you keep the life support running maybe? Like, lower the air pressure? You're going to burn it out."

"...the Opera House comes, plans continue, lower the air pressure? Sure Gaelin you betcha, initiate cooling procedures, fortify the matrix, ship cloaked…"

Tigh blinked. "Ship cloaked?"

Ellen squinted. "A hidden ship?"

Adama was already on it. "Worf! Anders said something about a cloaked ship?"

Worf instantly lost the feeling of victory. "Scan for cloak signatures!"

And then, the radios were jammed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Strike Force was back on Galactica. Two-thirds the original size.

Kara swore. "The radios just got jammed! We can't tell them we have Hera!"

Helo tensed. "That gives them more time to destroy us…"

"We've got to make it to the CIC!"

They ran down the hallway. "FAN OUT!" Lee yelled. He stayed back with Kara, Helo, Tom, Agra, a Six, and a Centurion to guard Hera. The rest went to combat the other forces on Galactica. Galactica shook from the fighter fire.

In a few minutes, Athena was found. She ran to her daughter. "Oh Hera!"

Helo smiled. "I told you we'd get her."

Athena hugged her husband tightly.

Then something exploded, knocking everyone down.

Helo had a gash in his chest. "Agh…"

Lee stood over Helo. "Stay with me man. Your daughter is right there. You are going to live, and you are going to spend your life with her."

Helo choked. "I doubt it-"

Tom stomped his foot. This was not going to happen twice in one day. He grabbed Helo, slung him over his shoulder, and ran towards the Doctor.

"TOM! YOU'RE CRAZY! THERE ARE CYLONS OUT THERE!" Lee yelled.

Tom ignored them.

Athena thought about running after her husband, then she realized something.

Hera was missing.

Athena ran down the hallway, looking for her daugher. "Hera?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Roslin walked down the hallway. She still felt like crap, though better now that her cancer was gone.

Then she saw Hera.

In front of her.

Just like in the Opera House vision.

She looked to her left.

There was Athena.

They shared a wordless moment with each other. Then they turned for Hera and rushed after her.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"We've got to fall back Gaius!"

Baltar threw his hands in the air. "HEY Q? MORE AMMO? MAYBE?"

Not so much as a pitty glimmer appeared.

"Great."

"We'll just fall back and have faith."

Baltar nodded. The two of them ducked down a hallway.

In a few moments, they found a big sealable door.

"This leads to the CIC doesn't it?"

"A back way yes-"

"Good." Caprica went in.

Baltar followed.

He felt a presence at his feet. There was Hera.

He picked her up. Something felt right about this. Like it was supposed to be this way.

They closed the door behind them, and sealed it.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Athena and Roslin stood and stared at the closed door in front of them.

The vision was complete.

Now both of them were thinking one thing:

Wasn't it supposed to make sense after it was completed?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Originally, the Doctor was going to give up Helo for dead.

Then he saw the fire in Tom's eyes.

The Doctor shuddered.

Someone's dead.

The Doctor set to work on Helo.

The man could be saved.

Just barely.

Tom sat down in a chair, relieved.

And exhausted.

He passed out.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Kara and Lee charged into the CIC.

Adama looked at them. "Did you get Hera?"

"She's on Galactica, we know that…"

Adama growled. "Well until-"

Baltar and Caprica ran in with Hera in their arms. "HERE."

Hera smiled, and walked around, as if nothing was wrong.

Adama nodded. "Start generating jump coordinates! Can we signal the Defiant yet?"

"Communications just restored!"

Adama reached to call the Defiant.

Then a One pointed a gun at Hera. "NOBODY MOVE OR SHE DIES."

The entire CIC froze.

One, who just happened to be the Cavil they all knew and loved, glared at them all. "Let us take her back, and we'll let you go."

"You wouldn't dare shoot her." Adama said.

"She's the last hope for my race. I can't let you take her."

"Stalemate then."

Baltar took a step forward. "Listen to me Cavil. There is something going on here that is greater than either of us. You can't deny it, we've all seen them. Things have happened. Be it god, gods, or just beings like Q-"

"Thank you for mentioning me." Q said, chuckling. No-one had even noticed him appear.

Baltar continued without giving Q any acknowledgement. "-something is going on here that is greater than either of us. And the place for Hera, right now, is here."

Cavil glared, thought it was obvious he was thinking about it. "Even IF that is true, and that's a very big IF!"

"I'm right here!" Q objected.

"You haven't been here long enough to have this entire thing planned out from centuries ago." Cavil objected.

Q groaned. He was right.

The Spirits smirked at him.

Cavil continued. "Even IF that is true, how do I know that these entities have our best interests in mind? If i hand her over, our race will die!"

A lightbulb went off in Tigh's head. "We'll give you resurrection."

"What?"

"Resurrection. If you give us Hera and let us live in peace, we will give you resurrection and let you live in peace."

Cavil nodded. "And what guarantee do I have that you won't go back on your word?"

"You don't. A little trust is needed."

Cavil weighed the options.

Then he let Hera go, proceeding to call all the forces. "Everyone stand down. That means you too Ba'al. Come out. We've reached an agreement."

And just like that, the fighting stopped.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Worf had just discovered the cloak signature when the peace was struck. Ba'al's ship appeared.

He called the Defiant. "That was a most invigorating battle Mister-"

"Captian Worf."

"I am Lord Ba'al. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Impressive performance. Not many people can match my tactics."

Worf smiled. "You did well using the ship you had. Although you did run."

"Horrible design I know. I'm working on making new ones but I have what's available. And I was plotting to nudge up right next to your ship and detonate one of the plasma weapons."

Worf pondered this. "Interesting plan."

Ba'al grinned. "Using what I have."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Q watched, along with the Spirits, as the Final Five Cylons prepared to transmit the information.

Cavil, and a representative of every Cylon model except for Three, was present.

Saul Tigh, Ellen Tigh, Torri Foster, Gaelin Tyrol, and Sam Anders. The Final Five.

Ellen spoke up, the leader of the five. "When we go in, we will know everything about each other. Every event. Everything. This process will get the information out of our brains and able to be transmitted to the Cylons. "

Q was standing next to them. He was curious to see how THAT would pan out.

Torri was nervous. "Can we agree that, no matter what you see, that we won-"

Tigh growled his old man grow. "Oh yes your many sins are forgiven Torri. Can we just do this?"

Torri was visibly sweating, but nodded.

Anders stopped his speaking with "end of line" and became silent as the minds mingled.

Saul Tigh. Grumpy old Colonel. Soft spot for his wife, Ellen. They were married as Cylons, in human society, their love was eternal, albeit strained. Heck, Saul even killed Ellen once when Resurrection was still a thing. But they were still together, through all the heartache.

Anders. A sports star. Husband to Kara Thrace. In it for the moment of perfection, not the game. Desired to be closer to that feeling. Was a resistance fighter against the Capricans, fighting the Cylons even then. Received an injury to the head. Everything after that was just a jumble of images. A triangle with an eye in it. A planet surrounded by a fleet of unusual ships. A spherical orange crystal broken into three pieces. A purple star. Q. Galaxies. Strange ships with glowing white lights in the center of them. A ring with symbols around the edge.

Most prominent however, was a strange design. Several outer rings riddled with various symbols, with seven smaller rings inside. In the center, a spring.

The spring brought a feeling of dread to every last one of them.

Gaelin Tyrol. A simple engineer who was simply unlucky. His girlfriend turned out to be a cylon. He married someone else. She committed suicide. He was later found out to be a cylon. He discovered even LATER that his son wasn't really his son, and had to give him up. His life was one of suffering.

Torri Foster. Assistant to president Laura Roslin in her time. That was all she did, help the president. Then she found out she was a cylon. Then-

Everything slowed. A memory surfaced, stronger than the others.

An image of her throwing Gaelin's wife out the airlock.

Saul and Ellen looked over in utter and complete disbelief. Torri did that?

Anders' eyes focused, staring accusation.

And Gaelin turned with rage in his face.

"The information of Resurrection is coming in." A Five reported. "It seems legit. Almost done-" Then Gaelin ripped his hand out of the bond, lashing out at Torri. Her neck snapped instantly.

He sank to the ground, staring at the wall.

The Five's eyes widened. "ITS A TRICK!" He yelled, pulling out a gun.

Cavil whirled at him. "YOU PARANOID IDIOT-"

Gunfire erupted.

Everyone ducked.

Cavil hid behind a console.

Adama yelled. "GET US OUT OF HERE NOW!"

Kara was at the FTL console. "WE DON'T HAVE COORDINATES YET!"

"JUST PUNCH SOMETHING IN! ANYWHERE!"

The firefights started again.

In space, Worf and Ba'al were talking about various tactics and ploys.

"So, Captain, say there were three of those smaller ships you have and one of mine. Against a single ship, mine is outperformed because my weapons point at all sides. However, against many targets-"

"-I would just command the three of them to stay on one side of your ship."

Ba'al grinned. "yet another reason to update the design-"

They both received the information that the battle had restarted.

They stared at each other, awkwardly.

Back in Galactica, Kara stared at the twelve digits she needed to plug in.

Anywhere, Adama had said-

The song played in her head.

Almost by instinct, she typed in the numbers she had assigned the notes.

1123

6536

5321

"JUMP" she yelled.

The Galactica was gone.

Ba'al looked at Worf. "Shouldn't you, like, go follow them?"

Worf nodded. "May we meet again and do battle."

Then the two of them watched as an explosion rocked the Colony.

It was sent spiraling into the black hole. Slowly, but surely.

Ba'al made a "tsk" noise.

The Defiant leapt to warp, and the Ha'tak jumped to hyperspace, leaving the doomed Colony behind.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Galactica creaked.

It groaned.

It almost snapped form the strain.

But it was still in one piece. Mostly.

Adama sighed. "Where the frak are we?"

Kara blinked. "Somewhere… I have no frakkin idea sir."

Spirit Caprica twitched. "She was supposed to say "along the watchtower.""

Q chuckled. "She didn't say that anyway. Even without me things didn't go exactly as planned for you."

As the various systems came back online, everyone slowly realized something.

They were over a planet.

A GREEN planet.

Oceans, Clouds, everything.

It took a while to sink in.

Then everyone started laughing.

Even Cavil and the few Cylons who were still alive in the CIC.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

To say Scorpius was surprised wouldn't describe it.

They had just given him the blueprints for a full warp drive. The extremely fast kind on Voyager and Enterprise.

It took him a few minutes to figure out why they would do such a thing.

Then it hit him.

These were the people of Earth. Human. John Crichton's people advanced several hundred years. They must have his mentality. The less fighting the better.

Scorpius put his hand to his forehead. He didn't want to have to deal with these kinds of people. He didn't understand them.

They were basically saying they didn't have a problem with him maintaining control over his people. And as long as he co-operated with them, he would gain benefits from them.

He got the message. He didn't need to worry about people overthrowing him, unless he became an annoyance.

He growled. He supposed he was lucky to be put on this mission. One of the few semi-diplomatic Peacekeepers. Most other commanders would just shoot at anything that was mildly annoying.

He didn't have to like it.

But he would accept it.

At least, until an opportunity presented itself.

"The Defiant has returned!" One of the officers reported.

Minutes later, a Roundabout entered the fleet.

It's one purpose was to relay a message.

"We have found a home."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

As Picard and Lampkin began to organize the travel to the planet, they realized something.

It was morning. Early morning.

Neither of them had slept for over twenty-four hours.

They laughed. They hadn't even noticed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The third and final day of the conference.

Everyone seemed to be getting along just fine.

The final accords were about to be struck.

The Prometheus class ships being built had been announced, as well as a handful of other ships for a few of the other peoples.

Everyone was getting along well enough.

The Treaty was even finalized, and was going to be sent back with the various peoples to await approval. It outlined various trade policies, technology sharing, and military support.

Trade would be open to all areas. This included production of ships, general goods, or raw materials. Hoseki would open up as soon as their giant transdimensional gate was complete.

Technology sharing would be limited to what technology civilians had access to. The Government couldn't stop civilians from trading their technology after all. Government technology would be regulated and generally not shared. Particularly military technology.

Military support was simple: if one nation was attacked, one or more of the others would defend it if they could.

Marlowe was smiling. Even though some of the peoples had their differences, this it was all going smoothly. The conference would be over by noon. The Asgard and Nox had even said they'd think about allowing the Hoseki into the Great Alliance.

Then the Doctor waltzed in.

Thor immediately glared. "Doctor."

The man looked down at the diminutive grey alien. "Ah Thor, long time no see."

Lya glared. This surprised everyone, as her people were rarely mad at anything.

"Okay, what did he do?" O'Neill asked the diminutive grey alien.

"Not what he did, though he has his own faults. His people."

Lya continued for Thor. "The Gallifreyans broke one of the deepest laws of the Great Alliance. They built weapons of mass destruction, rejecting their identity as the fifth race."

Thor glared. "They built weapons that could destroy entire galaxies with the push of a button."

O'Neill blinked. "I'm sorry, but correct me if i'm wrong, but didn't the Ancients do that as well?"

"Those were never intended to wipe out the galaxy of life. They were intended to create it. To seed it. The Gallifreyans created devices designed to wipe things out of time itself."

The Doctor held up a hand. "Our machines ended up being used against us. The Time War remember? Our entire galaxy is a jumbled mess of wibbly wobbly timey wimey anomalies now."

Thor's eyes widened in surprise at something, but he quickly recovered, giving no indication that he was ever surprised. "The fact has not changed: your people defied the rest of us."

"Does it occur to you that since there are only three of us left, we miiiiiiiight regret making those machines?"

Thor glared, but Lya held her hand up. "He is right Thor. The Doctor is respected across the universe as a savior. He has learned his lesson."

The Doctor smiled. "Thank you Lya."

Lya nodded. "I apologize for my previous prejudice."

The three representatives from the great races looked around. They sensed the presence of the Ancients.

"That's four out of five present and accounted for." The Doctor mused.

O'Neill grinned. "Hey, aren't we the sixth race?"

Thor looked at O'Neill. "Not yet. You are well on your way, but you have a long ways to go."

Lya smiled. "And as it is you may end up being the Seventh. The Hoseki may be adapted into our fold."

O'Neill shrugged. "Seven is a good number."

"Your human idea of 'luck' does not matter. Seven is just as lucky as four, or thirteen."

The Doctor smiled at the little grey alien. "Oh there almost certainly is a thing such as luck. I'm unbelievably lucky."

Thor glared before walking off.

Lya let out a breath. "The Gallifreyans and Asgard didn't get along even before the Time Weapons were built. Competing in development of technology." She turned to the Doctor. "I'm curious, since there are three of you is it not possible to restart your civilization?"

The Doctor sighed. "Yes, there is a possibility. We could take the DNA from all three of us and our children, using that to create more but…"

"But what?"

"It would just happen again wouldn't it? Our kind can't leave time alone. We'd just create the weapons again, and then maybe we won't be so lucky and all the inhabited galaxies would be wiped out. No, I think the Gallifreyans shouldn't rise again. It would be a disaster. We will live on through our children. Spread out across time and space."

Lya nodded. "What do the others think about this?"

"The Master would try to stop any new Gallifreyan civilization. The less threats to him the better. And The Delver is just completely indifferent."

Lya nodded with a sad smile. "Understandable. Despite what I have heard about your people, you seem wise."

Thor squinted from afar, still obviously able to hear the conversation.. The Doctor chuckled. This prompted the small grey alien to walk even further away, not wanting to be in the same space as the Gallifreyan anymore.

Lya sighed. "His race is dying to, although much slower than yours."

"How so?"

"They cloned themselves new bodies too much. They can no longer reproduce, and the cloning process has slowly deteriorated them. Soon, their bodies will be too frail to support them."

The Doctor looked thoughtful. "I suppose even they don't deserve that... "

Lya twitched at the sentiment, but let it slide. "The Great Alliance is falling. We all talk about Adding the sixth and perhaps seventh races to the alliance, when in truth, at that point, it will be the Second Great Alliance."

The Doctor looked at the twig-haired woman. "At least your people will be part of it."

The Nox nodded. "We are stable. And maybe we will find the Furlings. But… The Great Alliance is coming to an end."

The Doctor looked at the conference. "Well, you want hope for the multiverse? Here it is. Sure, we were the first five races to grace the multiverse, after our creators of course, and we brought it together." He gestured at all the people gathered. "These are the various races we helped put here. I say they will be able to take care of it."

"We didn't create the Hoseki."

The Doctor thought about this for a while. "That is true…"

"Let us hope they can protect the Galaxies."

O'Neill raised his hand. "Did you all forget I was here? Helooo! Lot of weight to put on a race who's just barely testing the water. Our boots are still shiny!"

Lya cocked her head at the reference, momentarily confused. She quickly overcame it. "Your race, O'Neill, has managed to find out more about the nature of the multiverse faster than any other race. Be proud of that accomplishment." She turned to look at Marlowe. "Her people are young. They have taken up the mantle of their ancestors. Their civilization is less than two decades old. You have experience they don't."

"But they have the big honking space guns."

"Guns aren't everything O'Neill. You should know that better than most."

"True. But I also know that having bigger guns helps a lot. Because instead of beating your opponent to death with a club you can just vaporize him instantly and not give it a second thought."

Lya shook her head. "Such violence. I suppose I shouldn't expect more however. We are the only race to ever succeed having a fully pacifistic society." She smirked. "And that is only because of our 'big honking shields.'"

The Doctor chuckled. "The Asgard had their ships and weapons. We had our time machines. The Nox had their shields and natural growing machines. The Furlings were masters of dimensions. And the Ancients were… a bit of everything."

A silence developed, as the Nox and the Gallifreyan dwelled on tales of the distant past.

A few minutes later, Marlowe stepped up to the podium.

"It has been a long few days, but at last we are done. We have discussed, talked, and said many things. And now, it is finally time for us all to return home. Let us all be a part of a new alliance. We will bring this multiverse together. We will have many adventures, and to be honest a few wars. But we will survive if we stand together. Our enemies will no longer have any hold on us, because we will have something they won't. Friends. LOTS of friends."

The room erupted in applause.

Marlowe chuckled to herself. That wasn't even that good of a speech. But it got the job done.

And with that, everyone went home, to report to their governments.

The sisters Marlowe, Janet and Miranda, said goodbye telepathically. It was strange to watch them make various body gestures and laugh with no words coming out of their mouths.

Eventually, only the personnel who ran the base remained, along with the SG teams.

O'Neill grinned. "So, campers, guess what time it is?"

"What?" Deadpool asked, obviously bored.

"It's time to discover the amazingness that is blue jello."

Carter brightened up. "Oooh!" It was no secret she craved the stuff.

"Blue?" Miranda asked. "What flavor is that?"

"It's not blue raspberry." Daniel murmured.

"Why would raspberry be blue?"

Patema shrugged. "Earth thing. It's weird."

Miranda squinted in confusion, then shrugged. "Whatever, give me some."

Three minutes later Miranda was in heaven.

"THIS IS AMAZING."

SG-1 and 13 were sitting at the large mess hall table, each with a bowl of the mysterious blue jello.

Deadpool ate it up like candy. "This is probably radioactive isn't it?"

Teal'c raised his eyebrow. "I have been consuming it for seven years."

Daniel was trying not to look like a pig. "You don't know how much you've missed something until you have it again. MAN I missed this stuff…"

"MRRUMMMFUMMDUMMMMF." Ty Lee said through a mouthful.

Jinora sighed. "This is very... interesting." She said.

Wendy raised an eyebrow over her sunglasses. "What's wrong with it?"

"It tastes amazing but… the blue color is unnerving."

"Miss." O'Neill interjected. "If blue disturbs you, the kinda colors you see on missions will drive you to utter insanity."

Silence.

"I'm kidding."

Jinora let out a sigh of relief.

"Maybe. Probably kidding."

Jinora stared ahead, unsure.

Everyone there except Wendy and Jinora broke out into hysteric laughter.

O'Neill looked at his watch. "Ah, it's that time again."

"What time?" Ty Lee asked.

"The time when we were supposed to be back at base two hours ago." He chuckled. "Let's get back, and have Hammond grill us."

Teal'c twitched. "I am not looking forward to Doctor Fraiser's… checkup."

"Well, we do have to check for alien contaminants." Carter offered.

"It's still an.. experience." Daniel said.

Deadpool clapped. "Ooh! I get to have the nice doctor check me out. I wonder if I can get her to-"

Jinora recoiled mentally.

"Oh that's right. You can sorta kinda read minds. I should screen myself. Then again, maybe not."

"Deadpool!" Wendy shouted.

"Fine fine relaaax… I'll be a good boy for the next few hours."

And the two teams laughed and yelled all the way back home.

None of them enjoyed the checkup.

Even Deadpool.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Day 1 at the Fringe-X division. And… NOTHING HAS HAPPENED."

Mulder was flinging pencils into the ceiling. Walter was trying to apply a mathematical formula to them, describing possibly the rate they fall. Astrid was sitting, reading a magazine. Scully and Olivia were playing what appeared to be some kind of strategy game from a foreign country. It was amazing how much stuff Walter had in the lab.

And Peter was talking into a recorder. "You know, I almost wish something would just.. HAPPEN."

"Something is always happening." Scully said, without looking up from her game.

"Just not here." Olivia said, without so much as even a glance.

Peter sighed. "It's like we're in a story and something big happened elsewhere and there was no reason to put us in."

A bunch of murmured agreement spread through the lab.

Something exploded.

"My Turtles!" Walter yelled. "Grab the cheese spray! We need to keep them contained! They have my own personal mutation of rabies that will make your eyes see nothing but the color pink!"

The scramble for the cheese spray was chaotic.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A Hoseki warship was patrolling into Anubis space, just to test the waters.

It didn't take long for there to be a reaction.

Five pyramidal ships appeared from all sides, firing energy bolts at the ship.

The commander of the Yventh, an Anthromorph with snake features hissed. "They are not in the mood for talking… Charge weapons and fire."

"Shields down to 80%!"

"Impressive. Not as good as ours however…"

"Which ones should we fire?"  
"Treat them to our plasma cannons. I don't want them knowing our exact capabilities just yet. For all we know showing them our other weapons may give them ideas."

The dozens of plasma turrets lining the Yventh sprung to life, blue bolts of plasma flying at varying angles towards the ships. It only took a handful of hits to disable the shields, and then just a handful more to destroy the ship itself.

But there was one still standing.

"That ship's energy signatures outclass the others by a large margin!"

"Must be one of the improved ones. Concentrate weapons fire-"

The Yventh was blasted by a stronger plasma bolt.

"That single shot took out a tenth of our shields!"

The commander hissed. "Ready the main cannon."

The Yventh pointed it's massive head towards the comparatively small improved Ha'tak vessel. A beam of blue energy fired out from the front, completely incinerating the target.

"Victory achieved. Shields holding at 50%."

The commander nodded. So they weren't complete pushovers. But the weapons fire had been designed to destroy shields. Even if they had fallen, the natural armor and backup systems of the Yventh could have probably taken much more beating from that simplistic weapon.

Seven of the improved ones could probably win.

Assuming the warship wasn't using all the weapons at its disposal.

He smiled. The warships were designed with every possible enemy in mind. There was probably a weapon that bypassed the shields altogether. He would have to do more testing.

It took only a few minutes for a dozen of those upgraded Ha'taks to appear.

"Well that was fast…" He muttered. "Get us out of here."

The Yventh jumped dimensions, completely vanishing from that universe, leaving the ships behind.

"Make a note. We can't just charge in with one ship and wipe them out."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Q watched as the fleet surveyed the new planet.

He knew they would find it suitable.

After all, it was the "Earth" they had searched for so long.

The thirteenth Colony's 'Earth" wasn't even originally called Earth: it was Ophich.

Course, the _real_ Earth was in the Milky Way Galaxy. This… was just the Earth they had been looking for all this time.

The spirits floated behind him. They were here, at least.

But not how they wanted.

Q smiled. "You know what, they aren't even calling it Earth. You see them in the conference? There's been enough places called Earth."

Spirit Caprica continued making the i-hate-you face she'd had for the past few days. "I know."

"They're calling it… Terra."

The spirits sighed.

At least it was acceptable.

The fleet had found a home.

"You won't let us take Kara will you?"

"Nope." Q said, smiling. "I have further plans for her."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Tom Paris walked into his quarters, running to his wife. He gripped her tight.

B'Ellana, was surprised. "What happened?"

Tom said nothing. He just sat there, quietly.

After a while, he spoke. "Harry's dead."

"What? Tom! I'm… so sorry…"

Their quarters were not a happy place that night.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Janeway cursed.

Why had she let them go on the mission.

A volunteer Starfleet operation to save a little girl.

Of course Tom had volunteered. Dragged Harry along.

She should never have made the offer. She grunted.

Over seven years, and Harry had survived so many scrapes.

Who was next?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Adama and Roslin stood together at a Raptor.

"We will fly her to somewhere in the woods, and build a cabin."

Roslin giggled. "Really. We really are going to build that cabin?"

"Oh yes, away from all this chaos."

"They can find us if they need to."

"I doubt they will." Adama smiled. He then turned around to his son and Kara.

Lee smiled sadly. "You're not coming back, we know that."

Adama smiled. He waved goodbye. Then they got in, and flew off to a random corner of the world.

Lee turned to Kara. "Well… I think I'm going to get out of the game as well."

Kara cocked her head. "How so?"

"I always thought I'd want to settle down but… I want to go exploring! Go climb a mountain! Go wander the world! With no clue where I'm going!"

Kara smiled. "Maybe you'll run into random cities, random creatures, random people."

"Ah yes the natives. Remarkably human-"

Kara rolled her eyes. "Starfleet is remarkably human."

Lee pondered this. Perhaps they were seeded from a world before Kobol. After all, all this had happened before, and it will happen again. Who knew how many times this had happened.

Kara looked around. "My journey was supposed to be over here."

"Huh?"

"It was just supposed to end here. But it hasn't."

"Do you have any idea why?"

"Q possibly. But maybe I just have something else to do…"

Lee shrugged. "Well… I'll see you around."

Kara smiled. "If you see Gaelin in his little hermit area, say hi."

Lee nodded, before walking off in a random direction.

Kara sighed, and walked back towards the beginnings of civilization.

She couldn't leave. She didn't think she could have a simple life now.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Hera was banging the Song on a toy xylophone.

Athena looked down, her face warming. She had become her old self with Hera returned, albeit a tad more protective. Helo was sitting up in his bed, smiling.

Their family was complete.

The couple smiled to each other, feeling like everything was going to be fine.

They didn't care that Hera was banging the tune to some kind of ancient mystical song on a children's toy.

They didn't care that her drawings looked an awful lot like star charts, with strange creatures and colorful shapes around.

They didn't care that she seemed to stare at where Terra's moon was even when it was below the horizon.

They didn't care when she pointed east and said "Stargate!"

They were just happy that the family was whole.

However, certain other people were looking at her closely.

Baltar and Caprica mostly.

"It's like Anders and the Hybrids, except more subtle."

Baltar nodded. "She is connected to something important."

"God right?"

"Probably, but not necessarily. Or she could be connected to many things."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Later that evening, there was already a new Colonial Capital Building. There was no Capital yet… but there were a few buildings here and there.

Inside, were Lampkin, Kara, Anders, the Tighs, and Cavil.

"Moment of perfection-"

Lampkin looked around. "Well, guess what, we're all that's left. Everyone ELSE decided to go live a normal life."

Tigh grumbled. "Yeah. Or become a religious zealot like Baltar."

Ellen looked sad. "I was hoping we could all live together. Continue the way we had, without the constant danger of dying. But I suppose that isn't possible is it?"

"Even the old man didn't want anymore!"

Kara looked around. "Everyone's gone on to new things already. Raising a family, going exploring, living as a hermit…"

Cavil grumbled, obviously annoyed at life.

"Listen here you false priest." Tigh glowered. "You're only alive because the Cylons want you to be."

"So I can talk down any of my brethren who appear. I know."

Lampkin clapped his hands. "They left the world to us, to those who can't get out of the game. Our lives would be empty without it."

Kara nodded. "I feel like something was supposed to happen. It didn't. And I'm still here."

"-and I can't leave the flow, end of line, communication success, no one will be sucking seed-"

The group stared at him. "He's been in the flow for so long." Ellen said. "He probably can't be removed safely any longer."

"He just said that, Ellen." Kara said.

Ellen sighed. "I thought it would need repeating."

The six of them stared in silence.

Ellen shook her head. "What are we doing? We are the leaders of our people! We can't let them down! Our people's troubles are far from over, and we are the faces that they will look to."

Cavil rolled his eyes. "I only count for half the Cylons-"

Ellen stood up. "Let's send out rescue parties. Bring back Cylons and Colonials. There are obviously survivors! Go get D'anna. Go back to the Colonies. Find the surviving Cylons. Save everyone we can. The Starfleet personnel will obviously help with that. We are not done here! We still have things to do! Our work is not done!"

Everyone brightened up at this.

That was right. There were, in theory, stragglers from the disasters.

Kara smiled her mischievous smile for the first time in weeks. There was purpose again. "I volunteer to lead the expedition."

"Naturally." Lampkin said. "Are we in agreement?"

Everyone nodded.

"I shall contact Piccard to see if we can use one of his ships."

And with that there was a new mission.

They had found a home.

Now they were going to bring people home.

"-there is no end of line." Anders said.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

SG-1 looked at the stargate.

O'Neill did his grand gesture. "Team, this will be our first real mission of the year. Our first mission since returning. Someone say something profound!"

Miranda shrugged. "I suddenly want to ride it down a snow hill."

Carter blinked. "That was not profound…"

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

Daniel chuckled. "It will have to do."

O'Neill whipped around. "WALTER! DIAL HER UP!"

The gate whirled. Symbols were entered, the chevrons lit up.

"Chevron seven, locked."

The gate whirled to light, spouting out the bluish-white Kawoosh.

"Kawoosh!" O'Neill said, spreading his arms.

Carter groaned. "Just because I called it that does not mean that it's officia-"

"Actually yes it does." Daniel interrupted. "It's in the official Stargate report now."

Carter facepalmed. "Really. Fantastic."

The five of them stepped through the gate, to new possibilities.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ba'al grinned.

It was amazing how simple this Resurrection technology was.

It could keep thirteen 'models' in a constant cycle of rebirth. There would be no death.

He smiled. With his resources, it wouldn't take long to construct a Hub. Perhaps a few weeks.

He would never die.

He laughed. His new empire was at hand.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

At the fringes of the Andromeda Galaxy, something was slowly drifting.

It was an ancient Asgard ship.

It wa bruised and battered. Most of its holds were exposed to the vacuum of space.

It was dormant, waiting.

Its wait was almost over.

Just one more week of drifting.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

LQWURGXFWLRQ HQG: WKH VWRUB MXVW EHJDQ

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

AN:

 **GM- and with that, the "Introduction" is over. So much has happened, but this is nothing compared to what will happen in the future.**

 **I have no clue when the next day will be up, seeing as we need to figure out what exactly it's going to be about. We will be giving the Fleet a break though, seeing as they stole the spotlight this time. Let's give them time to colonize their world. Hopefully January 4 will be up within a month.**

 **Reviews appreciated! And no-one has decoded any of the codes yet, far as I know. I wonder if anyone will.**

 **Also, next chapter the crossover classification will change to whatever that day will focus on. So you won't find this in the SG-1 x Battlestar Galactica section.**


	5. January 4: Snow

**AN:**

 **GM: Welp, here we are. After the long wait, the new day has arrived. Jan 4: Snow. Tell us what you think.**

Wednesday, January 4th: Snow

"Okay you fresh ones! I am Patema, and I am here to bash you into shape! We need to learn discipline; and, you know, work as a team unit! SG-13 will go down in history!"

Jinora was the only one who gave a salute and a "Yes sir!" Ty Lee was standing on one hand in a strange pose, Wendy was leaning against a wall looking bored, and Deadpool was… well…

 _We need to throw ourselves a party!_

"Yeah. I hope they have chimichangas."

 **I'm personally craving snow cones.**

 _SNOW CONEZ_

 **Good grief. Caps and misspelled. Great.**

 _Missspeled? Conez make the world go round. CONEZ._

"I personally think the spelling of that particular word doesn't particularly matter. What I do want is a chimichanga flavored snow cone."

Wendy lost her cool demeanor and gagged. "You can't be serious."

Deadpool slid up next to her. "Baby, you gotta believe that I'm _always_ serious…"

This move only got Deadpool a punch to the face, sprawling him on the ground. "The pain… four women and none of them are interested… Not even the one with the crazy arrows pointing everywhere..."

Jinora's eyebrow twitched. Deadpool was proving to be quite the test for her. She was not someone who could be easily provoked. Unfortunately, Deadpool was the kind of guy who specialized in provocation.

As if on cue, he slid up to her. "Speaking of the girl with crazy arrows, could you by chance give me some info on how to tackle your exceptionally hot friend?"

Jinora gave a warm smile. She really shouldn't… But whatever.

"She likes it when you do a strange dance and pour water on your face."

"Really? Okay!" Deadpool took two steps before turning around. "Wait a minute… You're just trying to make a fool out of me!"

Jinora looked him calmly in the eye. "Just trust me."

Deadpool squinted his eyes, before walking off to get a bucket of water.

Ty Lee dropped down, grinning. "This should be good."

Jinora grinned back. "Of course."

Patema facepalmed. "PEOPLE! We kinda have to work as a TEAM here! Not as a bunch of people who want revenge on each other!"

Ty Lee raised a hand. "Jinora and I are a team, and we only want revenge on the Red Spandex Moron!"

Jinora raised an eyebrow. "Red Spandex Moron…?"

"Oh come on. He needs a ridiculous nickname!"

Jinora blinked. "Um… I fail to see how that would-"

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Tell me when we're going to do something."

Ty Lee ran up, arms gesturing wildly. "Hey! Help us take revenge on the RSM!"

Jinora exasperatedly sighed. "You don't need to make an acronym-"

Ty Lee glared. "Yes I do!" Then she whirled back to Wendy. "So? What do you-"

Wendy was already walking off.

Patema sighed. This was not working. Between Deadpool's antics, Wendy's disinterest in everything, and the others plots, this wasn't working.

She looked down at the cupcake. It looked back at her.

"At least you get along just fine…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"That cupcake creeps me out to an extreme so extreme the word extreme doesn't even come close."

Daniel rolled his eyes at O'Neill. "That doesn't even make any sense-"

"It got the point across." O'Neill muttered, looking down into his teacup, frowning.

Daniel sat back. "I wonder where that cupcake came from…"

O'Neill shrugged. "I don't know and I don't want to know. The Doctor is the only one who knows, and I suspect he doesn't have any more marbles to lose."

"The man did seem to have a few screws loose…"

"He's mental." O'Neill grinned. "Makes him fun."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Anyway, did you hear? They're going on their first mission in a few hours."

O'Neill chuckled. "First missions never end well. I'm assuming we'll be on standby?"

"Naturally."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Smoking Man stood outside the Cheyenne Mountain Complex.

He was not stupid enough to enter the place, of course not. That would mean revealing his face to them.

He was just there because he liked being close to things. He was the mastermind after all, it was only fitting that he was around when big things happened.

He smiled. Big things indeed. Beyond the scope that anyone had ever considered, including Mulder.

Part of his mind twitched at that name. Mulder. That man…

He pushed the thought out of his mind. Things were being set into motion.

He took out a phone. "The Beagle has landed." He said, chuckling. He then set the phone to go off in exactly three hours and twenty-two minutes.

He shivered. January. Such a cold month. One of his favorites. He absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck before walking off.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Chevron seven locked!"

The Stargate activated with a Kawoosh.

Patema turned to her team. "Alright everyone! We are about to embark on our first mission! Exploration! We are to poke around the planet for a few hours and see what we can find! We shall- where's Deadpool?"

The three other girls glanced around before shrugging.

Then Deadpool ran into the gate room. "TERRIBLY sorry about that, but you see I was making out with-"

Patema put up a hand. "I don't want to know what you were making out with okay?"

"Okay. Even if it was a bucket of water?"

The four girls stared at him with blank expressions.

 _I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that…_ Patema thought. "Mission time people! Let's go!" She marched through the gate, as the others followed.

The wormhole closed behind them.

O'Neill nodded. "Everyone be prepared for when the routine exploration mission goes horribly wrong."

The rest of SG-1 chuckled.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Snow. It blanketed the landscape, giving it the appearance of a frozen white ocean. Hills became waves, and other hills became other waves. Nature had wiped the slate clean.

It was a lot of hills. Aside from a few spire-shaped ice formations, the only landmark was the stargate itself.

Ty Lee yelled in despair. "I'm going to FREEZE to DEATH!"

Wendy rolled her eyes. "I'm going this direction. You people can follow me. Or not."

Patema glared. "I'm the leader here, and I say where we go!"

Wendy whirled around and sighed. "And where do you say we go?"

Patema pointed the direction Wendy was heading. "That way!"

"But that looks the same as all the other directions!" Ty Lee complained.

Patema put her hands on her hips. "We have to go SOME direction!"

"Come on guys," Jinora said, hands up. "She's in charge, we should do our jobs correctly."

Deadpool ran ahead like a goofball. "ONWARDS! We shall conquer the ice realm!"

Ty Lee put on a pouting face. "B-b-but this cold weather is dimming my nice pink aura!"

Wendy threw Ty Lee her coat. "Here. Take this and stop whining."

Ty Lee bundled up and flashed a big grin. "Thanks! Maybe you aren't so-"

Then she realized Wendy wasn't even listening anymore.

"Oooooor not…"

Jinora shook her head. "She's just not big on socializing Ty Lee."

"But but but… That's my THING! I desire PEOPLE!"

Deadpool slid in on a slab of ice. "I'm a people."

Ty Lee punched Deadpool away. "Correction: I do not desire the RSM"

"RSM?" Deadpool asked, confused.

Jinora rolled her eyes. Deadpool was about to press it further, when he shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well. You'll change your mind eventually pretty lady… I've got a trick up my sleeve."

Jinora and Ty Lee cracked smiles. "Of course you do RSM"

Ahead of the three bickering team members, Patema grumbled. "This isn't working."

Wendy remained silent.

"I mean, we all know each other right? We've worked together before in the war!"

Still nothing came form the sunglasses-wearing redhead.

"We were all able to beat up tons of firebenders, and have great victories together! Heck, we beat Combustion Man!"

Wendy continued walking ahead, a stoic expression.

Patema's eye twitched. "Why don't you say anything?"

"Didn't feel like it." Wendy said, maintaining the same bored expression.

"I don't get you. One moment you're all happy and fun, while the next you're boring and serious."

Wendy shrugged. "I just don't feel all that 'happy and fun' right now."

Patema squinted. "Fine." She put her hands behind her head. She closed her eyes.

Then she yelped. Jinora turned to look at her, and saw a tall, four legged creature. The quadruped was seemingly made out of ice, and on top of the four legs sat several bluish-green crystals that could be considered eyes. It made a lunge for Patema.

Patema squeezed her eyes shut, and leapt backwards. Since her weight was, total, about one pound, she went flying several yards and landed in a snowdrift. She grunted. "Gotta stop being so jumpy…"

Deadpool and Wendy drew their weapons, Wendy's taking the form of a sword. "Where?" Wendy asked.

Jinora yelled, "THERE!"

"Where?" Wendy asked just as a leg kicked her in the chest.

"What's wrong?" Ty Lee yelled, only to have one of the other legs slap her across the face, creating a gash across her cheek.

Deadpool swung his swords around wildly. "C'mere you invisible piece of-"

Jinora gaged as one of the legs spiked Deadpool through the mouth and out the back of his head. The creature removed the leg, and Deadpool fell backwards as his head regenerated. "Oi… is this what a concussion feels like?"

Jinora got ahold of herself, and pushed out with her mind, attempting to calm the spirit. She had never tried to calm a spirit without airbending, but it might still work-

The ice spirit seemed to pause for a moment, before continuing its assault. Jinora pushed back with her mind, but the spirit's hold on the ground was too strong. It raised a leg, poised to strike.

Ty Lee and Wendy charged in at the same time, attacking for where they figured the spirit was. Wendy's weapon was the only one that made contact with the entity, causing it to topple over. However, the REST of Wendy, and ALL of Ty Lee, went right through the spirit, and collided, the two of them getting tangled in a mess.

"HEY! Get your sword off of my head!"

"You get your FOOT out of my CHEST!"

"Not until you remove your hand from my-"

From the snowdrift, Patema was setting up her gun. She placed the cupcake in front of the scope, and closed her eyes. She saw what the cupcake saw, and it could see the spirit beginning to stand back up. She aimed, and fired.

Unfortunately Patema did not take into account the fact that a physical bullet would have no effect on a non-corporeal being. The bullet sailed right through, causing no damage.

Patema blinked. What was the point of using the cupcake to see spirits if she had no way to interact with them? She would have to fix tha-

Her thought was interrupted when a second ice spirit appeared in front of her.

Patema jumped, her hair latches coming undone and her hair standing on end. She made the mistake of opening her eyes, making her unable to see the spirit.

She made a rush to grab the cupcake, gripping it in her hands and pointing it forward. She shut her eyes just in time to see a incoming leg.

She didn't have time to dodge it. The impact knocked her back towards the rest of the team. Deadpool stood up just in time to have Patema cascade into him.

"Hey! What's the big idea girl?"

"I was sent flying by an enemy! You should have been protecting your leader!"

"You decided to jump away and abandon your caring teammates to the creature!"

"It just startled me! Plus, I doubt you are very caring!"

A crease appeared in Jinora's forehead as she sighed. She reached out with her mind and grabbed Wendy's weapon. She had no idea how to make it change shape, but simply swinging it should work. Leaving her teammates behind, she ran at the spirit, bringing the sword down in a wide arc, shattering the beast. She smiled. "Guys! It's safe now-"

She stopped dead in her tracks. The second spirit was over top of her. "Oh for the-"

The icy leg hammered into her head, knocking her out.

It then moved to attack the four other, unsuspecting, humans.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Miranda?"

"Yes, sir?" Miranda called down to O'Neill from atop the stargate, dangling by her legs.

"What are you doing?"

"Being bored." She said as she morphed the black crystal in her hand into various shapes.

"Can you please be bored elsewhere?"

Miranda gave O'Neill a sly look. "If I'm bored here, people might ask me to get down. Then I can refuse. And then I'll be cured of boredom."

O'Neill nodded in understanding. "And if I don't ask you to get down?"

"Give me an animal."

O'Neill's mouth hung open for a minute. "What?"

"Think of an animal, and tell me what it is."

"Oh." He had thought she meant something else entirely. "Um… cat?"

Miranda gave him a condescending look. At least that's what O'Niell thought, she was upside down after all. Hard to judge upside down faces. Then she morphed the black crystal in her hands and placed the newly created sculpture on top of the stargate's new purple Dimensional Dialer. Then she leapt down, landing on the floor in a graceful roll.

O'Neill looked at the gate, now with two things sitting atop the main chevron. He inspected the strange black statue.

"That's a dog."

Miranda chuckled. "Yes. Yes it is."

O'Neill waved his hands. "Whatever. Why don't you go do some more testing with Carter."

"That's not fun."

"She can have you blow stuff up."

"For some reason, 'testing' involves a whole lot of _not_ blowing stuff up."

O'Neill raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'll have to talk to Carter about that…"

Miranda put her arm around O'Neill's shoulder, grinning mischievously. "How about we both go? Right now? See what she can give us to blow up?"

O'Neill shrugged. "Oh why not."

They left the gate room, leaving the black dog atop the gate. It stood there, watching.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Patema awoke to the voice of Deadpool

"-and how did the spirits hit us anyway? Aren't they like intangible?"

"They obviously had practice being in this world…" That was the voice of Jinora.

"So it's reversed in the spirit world?"

"No. If I were to project myself into the spirit world right now, I'd be able to touch them and they could touch me. However I wouldn't have any powers."

"Whatever. Tell me the secret to punching them."

"First you'd probably have to meditate a lot over years, it came naturally to me, but it'd probably take years of fasting, relaxing, and-"

"Forget it." Deadpool muttered. "Hey Patema! I see you've come to join us!"

Patema groaned. The world wasn't focusing. "Where are we?"

"Spirit web."

"What the heck is a-" Patema said as she tried to move her arm. It wouldn't budge. "Oh." She closed her eyes and focused on the cupcake, which revealed a ton of webbing wrapped around all of them, and they were in an ice cavern. "Great."

Deadpool chuckled. "I say this counts as 'going horribly wrong.'"

Ty Lee awoke kicking and screaming. "EEEEK! ITS STICKY! AND INVISIBLE!"

Wendy let out an exasperated sigh. "We need to remain calm. Plans?"

Patema thought hard. "None of us are physically strong enough to break these spirit webs…"

"OH REALLY?" Deadpool yelled. "ILL SHOW YOU WEBS! RAAAAAR!" Deadpool pumped as much energy as was feasibly possible into his arm, and pushed it forward.

It didn't budge.

"Nice effort people." Patema muttered. "Any other ideas?"

"I could try to ask them to retreat." Jinora offered.

"Why can't you just tell them to go away?" Deadpool grunted.

"I'm not a spiritbender, I can't tell them to do anything. I can only make suggestions." Jinora closed her eyes, and focused.

The webbing reacted to her mind, twitching. Then nothing.

"Nice effort people." Patema muttered once again. "Anything ELSE?"

Deadpool got an idea. "Make it eat me, then I'll regenerate inside it and break out!"

"How would that even work?" Ty Lee asked. "It's impossible to touch!"

Jinora nodded in agreement. "And spirits don't gain sustenance from us. They have to eat their own food, if they need to eat at all."

"Then why would they capture us?"

"To torture us for setting foot on their land, for entertainment.. There could be many reasons."

Deadpool struggled frantically. "Screw their reasons! I WANT OUT!"

Then they heard footsteps. SG-13 attempted to turn their heads to see. A man walked in, followed by two ice-spirits. He was tall, muscular, and wore a blue tribal getup. His face was square and seemed to be one that didn't smile that often. Upon seeing them, the man sighed. "I must apologize for this …"

Deadpool blinked. "Wait… you are WITH those THINGS?"

"You can see them?" He asked with surprise.

"Only the two ladies over there, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't like them!"

The man sighed. "Release them." He said to the spirits.

Ty Lee was tense as something invisible removed the invisible webs from around her. It was disorienting. "I feel like I'm an orange and I'm being peeled."

"What's an orange?" The man asked.

"A fruit?" Ty Lee answered.

"Ah. Like the conez."

"The what?"

"The fruit we use to make our snow conez."

 **Did we just hear that right?**

 _Oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes…_

Deadpool leaned forward. "Do you have chimichanga flavor?"

The man squinted in confusion. "Er… maybe? Not entirely sure what a chimichanga is…" The man shook his head. "I am Lark, welcome to the Conez Caverns"

The four girls of SG-13 simply shrugged before following Lark.

"Again I must apologize for the Asupids. They've just been desperate lately…"

Patema turned her head. "Why?"

"They have been unable to produce enough conez for us to eat. Something has been stealing them, forcing the Asupids to look far and wide for things to convert."

Ty Lee took her mind off of the pointless task of trying to rub off the intangible spirit webbing and stared at Lark. "We were going to be turned into FRUIT?"

"Probably." One of the Asupids seemed to sag in depression. "Don't be sad, you were doing what you thought was right. We do need conez to survive."

Jinora pondered this. The spirits used their abilities to convert physical beings into fruit so the people living here could survive. An honorable motive.

Patema's radio cracked, the voice of O'Neill coming in over the static. "HEY! PATEMA! Did the mission go horribly wrong yet?"

Patema sighed. "Yes, but it's been resolved. We were just saved by a nice man named Lark-"

"Did he betray anyone to help you?"

"Um… no?"

"Drat. Not another Teal'c then. Oh well. Tell him I said hi."

Lark blinked. "Um… Hi?"

"Ah. Lark. Thanks for saving the team. Take them to your people and all that whatsis so we can initiate first contact. Do they have anything to trade or anything we can use?"

Lark shook his head, still somewhat unsettled from the voice coming from the strange box on Patema's shirt. "The only thing of value would be the conez, and we have a shortage of those."

O'Neill sighed. "Well you know the drill people. Get on it."

Patema smiled. "Yes sir!"

The other four, who did not know the 'drill,' turned to Patema. "What's the drill?"

Patema smiled, then turned to Lark. "Lark! We would like to meet your people. Can you show us the way?"

"Of course." He said, leading them through more of the Conez Caverns. He then led them into a large cone-shaped room, the tip of which visibly protruded from the snow on the surface. Inside were several furry pieces of furniture, a rack with various crude weapons, and a chest full of some strange blue elliptical fruit with a single red stripe across the long edge. Presumably, this was a conez.

Deadpool walked up to it. "I was expecting something, you know… cone shaped."

Lark raised his eyebrow inquisitively. "Why?"

"Well, cone sounds a lot like conez…"

"Why would that have anything to do with it? A glove doesn't glow."

"...fair enough."

Lark rubbed his hands together. "The other clan members should be here momentarily, come, join us in our feast. I shall prepare the snow conez."

SG-13 watched as Lark poked his head out of the cone-room and walked up to a smaller cone formation in the ground. He grabbed it, snapping it off the ground. Hollow ice-cone in hand, Lark walked to a random wall, drew out a knife, and began scraping ice shavings off the wall and into the cone. After he had procured a large enough mound of snow shavings, he returned, grabbed a conez, and squeezed the juice into the cone. He then produced a white colored conez from his shirt, and squeezed a single drop form it as well. He handed the dish to Patema. "Have a taste."

Patema briefly recalled stories of O'Neill eating random food and regretting it. She shrugged, what the heck. It would probably taste kinda bland.

She took a little slurk, and her eyes widened.

"That's… the blue jello flavor!"

Deadpool and Ty Lee lept for the cone without restraint. "MINE!" "no MINE!"

"Blue… jello?"

Patema turned to Lark. "We have a strange wobbly substance that we eat. A certain variety is blue and tastes absolutely amazing. The chef won't tell us what's in it."

Lark smiled. "Perhaps him and I could meet, discuss recipes. That isn't the only flavor after all. We have hundreds more-"

Ty Lee pushed Deadpool away and downed the cone. Deadpool shrugged and turned back to Lark. "Maybe one of them's chimichanga…"

"...perhaps…"

Ty Lee rubbed her stomach. "Wow. That was filling…"

Wendy nodded. "It probably provides the people with all the nutrients they need."

Jinora held up a hand. "Something's got the Asupids on edge."

Deadpool slid up to where he thought one was. "Aw… Stupid what's wrong? We eat your cone?"

"They're on the other side of the room Deadpool."

"DARN IT! The phrasing 'thought one' should have tipped me off…"

Lark drew his weapon. "Something's coming."

"Wait- so you mean there really is something coming?"

"Yes. Get ready."

Weapons were readied. Jinora closed her eyes. "I'll scout." A translucent-blue version of her came out of her body, and floated out of the room.

Lark's eyes opened wide. "Wha-"

Ty Lee grinned at him. "Spiritual projection. She's really in tune with them."

Deadpool rolled his eyes. "A bunch of hocus-pocus-mumbo-jumbo if you ask me."

Leaving her team to bicker, spirit-Jinora looked around, floating through walls, fading in and out of focus, looking for… whatever it was.

 _I SEE YOU._

Jinora whipped around, searching for the source of the unnatural voice. It had echoed, with a strange whine droning in the background. It wasn't like anything she had heard before, spiritual or physical.

"W-well come out then! Let me see you!"

The voice returned, louder this time. _VERY WELL, AIR._

Jinora screamed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The creature moved, invisible.

The human contact had given him everything he needed to know. Guard shifts. Layout. Secret passages. Armories. Not that the creature would need much of the information, but being well-informed was a bonus.

It slipped right through the Cheyenne Mountain Complex entrance, the only sign that it was there being a slight displacement of air. One guard he passed particularly close to felt his presence, but shook it off as nothing more than the heeby-jeebies.

The creature moved into the elevator, clinging to the ceiling so none of the humans would bump into it. They descended deep into the base, below NORAD. Into Stargate Command. It walked out, observing the surroundings. There was an old man, the general by the looks of it, walking down the hallway. He was accompanied by a blonde woman.

"Carter, the mission already went wrong. They're fine now."

"I still think we should be on standby sir."

"Don't worry about them. They'll be fine."

The woman known as Carter nodded, and they walked in silence, right past the creature.

The creature moved on, focused on its mission. It walked right into the main gate room, where several soldiers were, waiting.

The creature leapt to the top of the stargate, landing with a thump.

One of the men below thought they heard something, looked around, then shrugged.

The creature took out the wires. It would take a while to set up, but they would never see him.

Luckily, the only unknown variable wasn't currently in the room.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

SG-13, Lark, and two Asupids were anxiously waiting to see what was coming. Jinora had her eyes shut tight, her spirit elsewhere.

"Does she hear what we're saying?" Lark asked.

Wendy shook her head. "No. She's completely separate from her body. Her body could die and she wouldn't know about it. One of the ways ghosts can be made."

"Ghosts?"

"Normally, after death, a spirit will stay attached the the body and move on after three days. However, if the spirit was severed from the body, it would continue to 'live' on. Certain techniques can physically separate a spirit after death as well."

Lark furrowed his brow. "Are those what the Asupids are?"

"Probably not." Wendy said. "I'm not an expert, but I think there are beings that come from a place known as the Spirit World. Severed human spirits rarely enter the Spirit World. But I suppose it's possible…"

They heard the sound of ice crunching in front of them.

Deadpool readied his swords, ready to make sausage slices out of whatever came their way.

 _I want saussage…_

 **Ugh. Can we sever this spirit from us?**

"I think he's part of us."

Bold let out an audible sigh. **One could hope…**

Lark stared at Deadpool. "Who are you talking to?"

"None of your beeswax."

Lark blinked.

Wendy nodded. "Oh yeah. He's crazy."

Lark took a step away from Deadpool before facing back at the passage.

A man stumbled out of the passage. "LARK! Thank goodness… It came and took all the conez!"

"Was anyone hurt Spar?"

"I…. I don't know. I came to get you as soon as I could…"

Spar looked around. "Who are these people?"

"Explorers from far away." Lark offered in explanation.

Patema walked forward. "I am Patema, leader of SG-13. We're explorers"

Spar nodded, then turned to Lark, the panic returning to his face. "It was too strong! Sheryl said the Asupids tried to stop it, but were shoved underground!"

"What did it look like Spar? Snap out of it man!"

Spar opened his mouth to reply, but then he froze in fear, staring.

Deadpool facepalmed. "Ah, the universal 'it's behind you' look."

 _INDEED, BELT-BUCKLE._

"Belt Buckle? That's a new one. How about I…" Deadpool whirled around, slicing his swords. "REMOVE YOUR BELT?"

Deadpool's swords made contact with a creature of nightmares. Vaguely humanoid in shape, the proportions were skewed at odd angles, various pitch-black tendrils snaked off of it, and on the 'head' was one, single, golden eye. The swords were embedded into the creature's chest. It wasn't fazed.

Deadpool blinked. "Well I can see you. Okaythen. I'll just pull my swords out…"

As Deadpool removed his swords, the Asupids attacked, only to be thrown back by a protruding black claw. A second limb smashed the spirits into the ground.

Spar ran off screaming. Lark stood, shaking.

Patema glared at the creature. "What are you?"

The voice went directly into her mind, the creature giving no physical indication it was even speaking. _I AM ALCOR ._

"And what are you doing?"

 _I NEED YOU CUPC- SORRY. PATEMA._

"Were you just about to call me cupcake?"

 _I SEE YOUR ESSENCE. I HAVE TO… THINK TO USE YOUR NAME._

"What do you want from me?"

 _I WANT TO GET BACK TO EARTH. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU MANAGED TO GET HERE, BUT YOU MUST BE ABLE TO GET BACK._

"So what if I can? We can't have someone like you on Earth."

Alcor's eye squinted, focusing. Then it widened. _HOW…_ it said, before focusing once more. _TAKE ME BACK… OR I SEAL YOUR FRIEND'S SOUL AWAY._

A black tendril reached behind Alcor and brought out spirit-Jinora. Her 'body' was limp, and her eyes closed.

Wendy stepped forth. "Let her go, Dorito."

 _DORITO? I AM NO-_ Something brought Alcor pause. It studied Wendy for a moment, distracted.

Patema nodded to Ty Lee and Deadpool. Ty Lee nodded, grabbing Deadpool's leg and throwing him into Alcor, machine guns firing.

Alcor shrieked, the noise giving causing everyone to wince in pain. Alcor's shadows rippled.

Patema focused, firing her P-90 at Alcor, guiding the bullets to the eye with her mind. The grip on Jinora loosened, and was severed when Wendy sliced the tendril right off Alcor's body.

Alcor regained its composure, generating a dozen more tendrils and launching them towards SG-13 at high speed. Ty Lee leapt right in between them, kicking and punching each tendril with rapid succession, and whatever she missed was sniped by Patema's bullets. Deadpool and Wendy charged, blades coming down.

Alcor shrieked, and vanished, the blackness dissipating.

Deadpool and Ty Lee high fived. "WE DID IT!"

Patema smiled. "Ah teamwork-"

Deadpool groaned. "Oh please tell me this didn't have a moral associated with it…"

Ty Lee grinned. "Why not?"

"Because! That makes it LAME!"

"Does not."

"Does too."

The two of them started throwing punches and laughing.

Suddenly, Patema had a weight lifted off her chest.

Everything was going to be fine.

She glanced at Wendy, who seemed to be deep in thought. "What's up?"

Wendy shook her head, smiling. "Nothing. Just thinking about that Alcor fellow." She turned to the other team members. "I see they're getting along now."

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to socialize with them a bit."

Wendy grinned. "You know what? You're right." She leapt into the fray, punching and laughing.

Lark blinked. "Strange customs you have."

Patema laughed. "You haven't seen anything yet."

Jinora stood up, smiling. She looked weak, haggard, but very much alive. Patema ran up and embraced her. "Come on. Let's get you back to base." Firing her gun, Patema yelled. "Allright people! Return to base! Move it!" Turning to Lark, she said, "More of our people will be here to continue relations with you. Perhaps now that Alcor isn't around, we can trade for some of those conez."

Lark nodded. "It would be an honor."

Patema chuckled, leaving the caverns, Jinora leaning on her.

Deadpool, Ty Lee, and Wendy didn't realize they had left for a few minutes. Lark was rather amused watching them run out of the caves after their leader.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Your world is absolutely fascinating!"

"Miranda…" Daniel cautioned. "Television is not the best place to learn about Earth-"

The mage smirked. "I know that. We have TV to. I guess your TV programming is fascinating then."

Daniel shrugged. "...Sure it is. What exactly is interesting?"

"Mainly? The fact that roughly a third of it is advertising. Come see the NEWEST MOVIE, come see the amazing theme park, JURASSIC WORLD, come eat at GENO'S, help protect the world by ENLISTING, go and eat MCDONALDS, WALMART will rule the world…"

"This fascinates you why?"

"Because it's remarkably similar to what we have. Although with less channels."

Daniel sighed. "Anyway, Walter has asked me to talk to you."

"About what?"

"That screen is supposed to display important gate diagnostics. It's not for watching TV."

Miranda pouted, before changing the TV's input back to the stargate.

Daniel shook his head. "What I wouldn't give to be able to just think and send out signals…"

"Oh you have the gene. You obviously can access psychic power."

Daniel shrugged. "Not that I want to…"

Miranda rolled her eyes. She couldn't understand not wanting to unlock power, she had devoted the vast majority of her life to unlocking her potential. If she had never tried to figure out her skills…

"Anyway, SG-13 just radioed in. Jinora's mildly hurt, but the mission was an overall success. We should be at the gate to meet them."

Miranda nodded, teleporting right into the gate room.

Daniel let out a breath. They were seriously going to need to get a security measure for that.

In the gateroom, O'Neill's phone rang.

"Hello? Colonel Jack O'Neil-"

"The Beagle Has Landed."

"Wha-?" Subconsciously, O'Neill looked at the dog statue on top of the stargate.

Something knocked it off.

O'Neill didn't waste any time, flipping out his weapon and firing.

The creature didn't see the bullet until too late. While the bullet didn't do any permanent damage to the creature itself, the invisibility device was damaged.

He faded into view, along with all the devices and wires he had attached to the gate.

If the creature were capable of emotion, it would have thought: _Oh crap._

To most of the people in the gateroom, they just saw an ordinary man messing with a lot of wiring and strange glowing devices.

Miranda saw something else entirely. She saw the mind. She saw the true shape. She pushed her mind into it.

The creature sensed it. The unknown variable was entering his mind. It went into her mind as well.

Miranda let out a grunt. "Destroy the orange box on the left…"

O'Neill aimed his gun at the strange orange box. Sparks flew, and the devices stopped glowing.

Miranda glared at the creature as the SGC personnel began filling the creature with bullets. They were doing next to nothing, of course, but Miranda was busy keeping the creature from moving. Unfortunately, that meant the creature was getting lots of information out of her mind.

Miranda herself was quickly realizing that the creature's mind was mostly blank, a soldier designed to know its mission and nothing else. No chance of sensitive information getting out. She got very little other than a vague sense of what it was.

Then she detected it transmitting information mentally.

 _Oh no you don't…_

She followed the link mentally, attempting to trace it.

Then she hit something powerful, immense, a truly ancient mind. Their minds were linked for a fraction of a second.

The Mind was amused. The savages were actually able to make contact.

Miranda barely had enough time to feel outraged at the use of the word "savages." The Mind pushed back, and severed the connection. The mental push caused Miranda to pass out, and fall backwards.

"Crap." O'Neill muttered, noticing the creature regain its mobility. "Looks like our side lost the battle of wills." It leapt for the door.

Zat guns fired from the exit, pushing the creature back. It appeared that energy weapons were at least mildly effective, even if it wasn't getting stunned. It lashed out with extreme force, knocking a guard into a wall, cracking his skull.

The creature entered a defensive posture. These weapons were slowly degrading the tissue, interrupting the regeneration process. He would have to get out.

Carter used her radio. "Carter to the labs! Bring the Disruptor!"

"But it hasn't been teste-"

"Do it!" She yelled over the constant gunfire. Now they just had to keep the thing occupied for a few minutes…

Then the stargate began dialing.

"INCOMING WORMHOLE!" Walter yelled over the intercom, over the fight. Behind the stargate's iris, the wormhole lit up. "RECEIVING SG-13s IDC! OPENING IRIS!"

The Iris slid open, and SG-13 was greeted to the scene of the battle. Wendy and Patema reacted first, Patema readying her P-90 and Wendy morphing her weapon into a bow.

The creature recognized the weapon as a threat, and even though it was weakened by the zat fire, it still wasn't anywhere near to an ordinary opponent. It caught the first arrow launched at it, and used it to kill a nearby soldier.

Wendy whistled. Impressive. And all the gunfire meant she couldn't get close enough to use her more damaging attacks.

Then she realized it was coming after her.

She tried to change the weapon, but there was no way it would change fast enough. She prepared for the impact.

It never came.

Alcor was there, absorbing the impact. It stared down at the creature, impassive.

The creature bounced back, ready to attack once more, but it hesitated when it saw the golden eye staring down at him.

They stared, both frozen.

Ty Lee yelled "STOP SHOOTING!"

O'Neill lowered his gun. "Why?"

"JUST DO IT!"

"CEASE FIRE!"

The marines stopped the onslaught, and Ty Lee rushed to the frozen creature. It was in a human shape so it probably had similar points. She delivered several rapid kicks and directed punches to the various pressure points. "He should be helpless now."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Alcor felt the presence. The Mind. It was intrigued. The new contact was not a savage.

 _UM… THANKS?_

The Mind was thoughtful. The Alcor was still using lower communication. It wondered why.

 _LOWER COMMUNICATION?_

The Alcor seemed to be confused. Perhaps it had lived among the savages for too long. The Mind offered an invitation to the Alcor.

 _OKAY THIS IS FREAKY… UM… WELL MISTER… UH… WHAT SHOULD I CALL YOU?_

The Mind considered this. The people were known to the savages as Reticulans, but that did not describe the Mind. The mind was… the Mind. Something Unique. Singular.

 _THERE THAT'LL WORK. SINGULAR. SINGULAR, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE. LEAVE US ALONE._

The best way to describe Singular's next thought was a shrug. It offered Alcor a denial, a rejection, and then a push.

Alcor was ejected from the link.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Alcor screamed, the sound causing everyone except the creature to immediately cover their ears. Alcor's appearance faltered, the shadows slowly dissipating. It shrunk down to something that looked like a human. Young, with brown hair, and wearing a black suit reminiscent of a ringmaster, complete with a top hat.

Wendy's eyes widened. It couldn't be…

Then Alcor faded out, disappearing.

The creature was trying to move, but it was only twitching. Ty Lee had managed to severely disrupt its nervous system. The marines rolled in a large cylindrical device. Various lights and wires were protruding at seemingly random angles.

"Aim it at him!" Carter yelled. "Hurry!"

"It'll take a while to charge major!"

"Just hurry!"

The creature began to move. It regained control of its arm first.

Patema closed her eyes and pushed forth with her mind. She wasn't particularly skilled with her psychic powers, and she was nowhere close to Jinora's natural talent, but she could exert some force. She used what she could to keep the creature stationary.

The creature turned its head. For the first time, Patema got some indication that it wasn't a human man. It was something else. An alien, that much was sure. One thing she did know was that her psychic powers weren't strong enough to risk trying to get more information out. She had just watched Alcor get beaten by this thing.

"It's charged!" A scientist yelled.

"FIRE!" Carter yelled.

A bluish-green energy beam fired from the disruptor, engulfing the creature. The black silhouette jerked and shuddered, before every single atom was torn apart. All that remained was a pile of dust on the floor.

"Get that into a holding container!" Carter yelled.

A team ran in, sweeping up the remains and sealing it.

It was over.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"What the H*** was all that?"

The general was angry. Daniel didn't blame him.

O'Neill squinted his eyes in mock thought. "Well, I do believe we were just infiltrated. By an invisible creature. And had a random phone call not come in, he would have blown up the stargate."

"Indeed," Teal'c commented.

Miranda put her fist down. "Whatever was controlling that thing, was strong. It had an intense willpower."

"Anubis?" Hammond asked.

"I don't think so. Anubis at least recognizes us as a threat. This thing thinks we're savages. Anyway that's not the point. The point is that it's dangerous. But it's weakness is that of underestimation. We can be creative. But…"

O'Neill furrowed his brow. "But what?"

"It got a lot of top secret information out of me. About the Hoseki."

"And that is bad how?"

"At the very least it knows of the other universes now, and that certain technologies they may not have had exist. However, the icing on the cake is that they know how to find Hoseki, and what it's defenses are."

Hammond raised his eyebrow. "A possible threat?"

Miranda nodded. "We know virtually nothing about their technological capabilities, motives, or even what they look like. All we know for sure is that their minds are strong." She growled. "We are used to having the mental high ground. We've got minds that are truly ancient. But I'm not sure if even they can compete." She sighed. "I've contacted my people, they will be expecting something. We just don't know what."

The room fell silent. A new ominous threat had presented itself. And no one had any clue how to deal with it.

Daniel spoke up. "That's not the only weird thing that happened." He produced a picture and laid it on the table. It showed a man sitting in the stargate control room. He was bald, and wearing a black suit and a grey fedora. He just seemed to be watching. Observing.

"There is no record of this man entering or leaving the mountain. He does not show up on any records, and the only people who recognize him are those who saw him here today."

Marlowe growled. "I didn't sense him either."

O'Neill threw his hands in the air. "Just when we get new allies with some interesting powers, new bad guys come along to make the advantage disappear! Just great!"

Teal'c nodded. "Did you not say that Murphy-"

"Yes I know what I said Teal'c. Murphy's law. Of course. We can never catch a break…"

Hammond shook his head. This wasn't good.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ba'al sat down at the table. Across from him was a strange creature. It was muscular, completely white, had three eyes and horns for eyebrows. This creature was the crime lord known only as the Albino Demon.

The Albino Demon passed a data chip across the table. "Complete schematics for military-grade dimensional drive."

Ba'al smiled, looking over the information. It seemed to be legit. "And, as we discussed, here's all the information you need to create yourself a hyperspace drive." He passed a data crystal across the table.

The Albino Demon grinned, revealing rows upon rows of spiny teeth. "A pleasure doing business with you." Then he drew a gun.

Ba'al sighed. "You know, I should have expected this."

"You came yourself. You are worth a lot to me. I hear that just about every major power in this galaxy wants your head on a platter. Dead or alive."

Ba'al sighed, and the Albino demon shot him in the chest. The beam coursed through Ba'al's nervous system, frying all the neurons in his body.

The Albino Demon chuckled, picking the body up. This would fetch quite the price.

Then he heard the sound of a zat gun loading. "Such a shame."

The Albino Demon whirled around to see Ba'al. "What? I just killed you!"

Ba'al smiled. "Cloning. The way of the future."

The Albino Demon readied his claws, only to get stunned by the zat blast.

"Such a shame really. You were a super powerful crime lord. Now, you're my prisoner." Ba'al smiled. "And not only do I get the plans to your drive, I also get your ship. I wonder what kind of weapons it has on it." Ba'al signalled, and two other clones walked into the room, and picked the Albino Demon up.

Ba'al flexed his wrist. "These new bodies are interesting…"

Another Ba'al chuckled. "You're telling me. I'll feel much better when the full Resurrection hub is up and running."

"Did the prototype work?"

"Like a charm. The report says he's disoriented, but he'll be fine."

The Ba'als grinned mischievously. Their plans were progressing much faster than they'd hoped.

The new era was coming. And they, the Ba'als, would be on top.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Smoking Man let out a puff of smoke.

He had served his purpose.

Perhaps they stood a chance. Perhaps not. At the very least, they would be a headache for them.

They would be disappointed that the stargate had not been destroyed. But they could not trace it back to him.

After all, he was still in his office, on the other side of the continent. He never picked up a phone at all. The security cameras would vouch for that.

Anyone who said he'd been at Cheyenne Mountain must have a few screws loose.

He rubbed the back of his neck, and smiled.

He put his cigarette out.

This was the year. Humanity had one last chance.

He hoped they took it.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

On the fringes of the Hoseki system, Station M-1's alarms went off.

The commanding officer, a Grey- an Asgard-like species -yelled for a report. "Is Mavros acting up?"

His second, an Elf by the name of Altronia yelled. "No! Something just came from beyond the fringe!"

The Grey, Marko, slowly blinked. They were in hyperspace. Hyperspace that wasn't connected to any galaxy, and the chances of an intergalactic ship hitting them was astronomical. This was no accident.

"Send a message to Xipetotec and Utopia Base. We've got an intruder."

"Done." Then Altronia's eyes widened. "Sir! The object has changed course, heading right for us!"

Marko sighed. "Raise the station's defenses. Send out a distress call. Call the Obery for backup."

Altronia nodded, sending the messages. "We have a visual of the object now sir."

Marko looked at the screen. The object was disc shaped and small, it could only hold a few dozen people. Perhaps it was an exploration vessel after all.

"Hail them." Marko stood up and adjusted his uniform. "I am Colonel Marko of the Hoseki System. What is your intention?"

"No response sir. They seem to be scanning the area sir."

Marko went through a checklist in his head. The only things here right now were the black hole Mavros, the planet Spork, the station itself, and the Obery a few AU away. Unless the legends of Nibiru were true, that was it.

"I repeat, unknown vessel, what are your intentions?"

"Still no response sir."

The cruiser Obery dropped out of warp, weapons and shields readied. Unlike the warships, which were three kilometers in length, the Obery was barely half a kilometer. It didn't have some of the bigger weapons mounted on the warships, but a cruiser was still a force to be reckoned with.

The object continued scanning.

The Obery radioed station M-1. Marko nodded as a Gari appeared on his screen. "Admiral Jarwan."

The admiral nodded in return. He flexed his wrist. "Have you tried to make contact?"

"Yes. No response."

"Then we have orders to engage the object."

Marko nodded. "Our weapons are armed."

Jarwan glanced to the side. "We have no clue of the target's capabilities, so we need to be cautious." He gave the order. "Engage!"

M-1 and Obery fired their blue plasma weapons, engulfing the disc. Scanners were showing no damage.

A green laser shot out of the disc, impacting the Obery's shields.

"Shields down to 75%!"

"X****" Jarwan cursed. "Fire the arrows! This seems like a physical vessel."

Obery had a compliment of a few dozen three-meter long pure tungsten arrows. Designed for planetary bombardment, they were also good for cutting through physical armor.

Seven of the rods fired, traveling at 25% lightspeed. They punched right through the disc, upsetting its balance. Another beam of green energy fired, depleting the Obery's shields even further.

"How are they still functional? Their ship is tiny! That much structural damage should completely wipe them out!"

"We just detected them raising a shield Admiral!"

The Admiral punched the display. "Fire the phasing missiles."

"Isn't that a bit overkill sir?"

"Just do it!"

Three large missiles fired out of the ship. The disc obviously thought they were a threat, because it attempted to fire a laser at one of them.

Then the missiles activated their miniature dimensional drives. They teleported to another dimension, the laser missing. A few seconds later, they appeared inside the disc's shields.

The missiles' antimatter was released, creating an explosion that warped the space around it. It was obvious that this initial explosion didn't destroy the ship completely. However, the shields kept the energy from dissipating. The energy of the tremendous reactions was sealed inside, reaching temperatures so high the disc's atoms broke down. The shields faded, and the energy released, pushing station M-1 and Obery back a little bit.

Nothing remained of the disc.

The crews gave high-fives. The enemy was vanquished.

Marko wasn't celebrating though.

That disc had been small. Extremely small.

And it had scanned until it was attacked.

It was just a probe.

He feared what the other ships would be like.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

VR PDQB NLQGV RI JUHBV

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: Okay, I admit, I love leaving people hanging. Perhaps i'm evil. I'm not sure. All I know is that I love ending with epic conclusions that answer some questions, while providing many more mysteries. MUAHAHAHHAHAHHAH! Anyway this is the first stand-alone episode. There is no arc for this one. What did you people think?**

 **REVIEWS! Also, I LOVE HEARING WHAT YOU THINK THE CONSPIRACY WHEEL IS ABOUT!**

 **Do it or I send Deadpool after you. With a chimichanga Snow Conez.**

 **Optionally, some of you could at least try to decode the messages. They do tell you things…**

 **Also at some point I will go back and edit the introduction chapters so people who don't know the characters can still read the story. Dunno when exactly I'll do that, but I will.**


	6. January 5: Race

**AN:**

 **GM: After the long wait (sorry!) here is Jan 5! (I revised earlier chapters for readers who don't know all the fandoms. It was needed ^^". I try to explain everything to give at least a base understanding. Except in cases where I try to keep some characters a little mysterious :D Anyway READ. READ ABOUT THE RACE.**

 **TD: Oh HEY, LISTEN.. or not. you don't have to… i guess… but anywho this is the first chapter I've wrote anything in! yay! ^.^ and I'm an artist… tell we what part of the story i should draw first! and with that… Chio!**

 **GM: It's ciao TD.**

 **TD: I DUNT CARE X3**

 **BR: I like snow cones :3**

 **GM: Ya need a z there.**

 **BR: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

 **[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]BOLD BREAK[][][][][][][][]**

Thursday, January 5: Race

"Today we will be covering the amazing Hebridan Annual Sublight Race! HASR! Ladies and gentleman this year looks like it's going to be very interesting indeed!"

"That's right! Two days ago, we ratified our planets into a treaty with many other races. And, as it turns out, these people like a good race as well! They know the rules and are ready to start their engines later today!"

"And we will be giving reports periodically of the nature of the race! But right now, let's go to our reporter in the garages!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Miranda loved reporters. She couldn't understand why her sister hated them so much. It was fun talking to them and answering questions.

The cameraman, a mostly reptilian Hebridan, said "We're on."

The reporter, a young human known as Asht, talked into his mic. "We are here today with High Mage Miranda Marlowe, the most influential Gari mage and sister of the Hoseki President, Janet Marlowe. Tell em, Miranda, why are you here today?"

Miranda grinned. And so the fun begins. "I'm here to show everyone how our unique methods of travel will win this race!"

"So I hear. Where is your ship?"

Miranda grinned. Ah, that. "Oh it's right here."

Asht looked around. "Uh…."

Miranda waved her hand, and a black spark flew out. It stopped midair, suddenly expanding. Within seconds, a single-seat black fighter was sitting there.

"I call her the Onyx, my personal craft. She's made of my infamous black crystal, so any magical attacks will be completely useless."

Asht was stunned, but being the reporter he was, quickly recovered. "That's amazing! Is the ability to make a personal ship common?"  
"I believe the number of individuals within the system with enough power to do that is a few hundred thousand. But that's inside the System. You see, your universe has a particularly low level of magic to work with. That number is probably down into the hundreds here." She smiled. "But it is still an easy feat for someone like me."

Asht nodded. "Let's talk about you. You joined SG-1 correct? Why?"

"Well… I like excitement. Living on the edge. It's one of the reasons I'm in the race. I like the danger."

Asht grinned. "Many pilots here will be kindred spirits with you."

"True. Though the guy Carter's flying with seems a bit worried about everything."

"Finn. A desperate man, thinking if he can win the race he will get the money he needs to get his life back on track."

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Ya know, between you and me, he could have just asked the SGC for financial help. I hear he is a friend. But noooooo he has to go and demand help in a race instead."

Asht nodded, slightly amused. "Well, we're out of time. I've got to go check out other racers. Good luck Miss!"

Miranda nodded. "I shall show them no mercy." She said with an evil glint in her eye.

The cameraman shut off the camera, and Asht walked off to find someone else to interview.

Imagine his surprise when he saw another reporter.

Strange. He was supposed to be the only one here.

He walked up to the young woman in pink hair. "Excuse me? I'm covering the race."

The girl looked up at him. "Oh, sorry." She gave him a snarky look. "I'm Wingding Chloe Marlowe, reporter for the Hoseki System news."

Asht lost the hostile look. "Ah, forgive me. The field can be competitive. Thought you were one from our world."

Chloe grinned at him. "It used to be, but I kinda stomped out all the competition."

Her tincan-shaped robot companion chuckled. "She did indeed."

Chloe and Asht suddenly looked at each other and got an idea.

"Let's do a double interview."

Asht called the network, and Chloe simply wrote something down in her book. Asht envied that she seemed to be in charge of what she reported.

Asht put the phone down. "Ready.. 3… 2… 1… On air!"

Chloe motioned for him to go first.

"Reporter Asht again, this time with a woman of the same profession from the far away Hoseki system! Chloe Marlowe!"

Chloe turned to her robotic companion, who was wielding the camera. "And for you all, this is Hebridan reporter Asht. We were both covering the race today, and we decided to report on each other. Asht, question me."

Asht nodded. "Are you fully human? At first glance you appear to be, but I see your hair is like that of a Gari and you have pronged ears."

Chloe shrugged. "I'm actually a full Gari. The human features are from a plastic surgery I had long ago. The planet I'm from, Inchari, used to be very racist. But that was decades ago. Hybrids between our races generally aren't possible. What about you? How much Hebridan is there in you?"

"I'm mostly human." Asht responded. "A little bit of scales in odd places, but that's that. You said you were a Wingding?"

"Yes, I was one of the originals. How did you become a reporter?"

"My dad was a reporter. He taught me everything I know. How did you become a reporter?"

"I started out as the news anchor and reporter for the Wingdings only. Then I branched out, gathering and reporting news to all. I have virtually complete control over my network. How much control do you have in your industry?"

Asht tensed. Uh-oh. She was asking one of the touchy questions. "Well…. the network makes all the decisions on how to portray everything. I just gather the info."

"Do you get to decide where you go? What's important?"

"No. But it's my turn to ask a question isn't it?"

Chloe grinned. She loved it when the people started to realize she asked annoying questions. "Sure."

"Your last name is Marlowe. Related to the president?"

"Yes, but distantly." She decided not to mention how exactly. "What are your feelings on the network's power?"

D***. She's a reporter without any regulations imposed on her. That's dangerous. He thought of how to answer. "Well… I understand the need for reporters to be directed-"

"But doesn't that interfere with the free press?"

"Um… maybe… but-?"

Chloe cut him off by giving him a sly smile. There was silence for a moment. She turned back to her camera. "There you have it folks, a Hebridan reporter. BACK TO THE RACE!" She ran off, the bot following her.

She giggled to herself.

Asht stood there, stunned.

He was probably fired after this.

He sighed, and moved on to the next racer to interview.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Aside from Carter and Marlowe, there were four other non-Hebridans in the race.

There were two in each team.

Eggman was sitting in the front seat of his new Egg Fighter. "We shall show them our superiority!"

His copilot, Blaze the Cat, grunted.

"Oh come on Blaze, it's the culmination of months of work!"

Blaze rolled her eyes. She was half the height of a human, had pinkish-purple fur, and a red gem in her forehead. She still couldn't believe she was helping Eggman. Sure, he may not be completely crazy evil anymore, but he certainly was still crazy.

Then again, she had helped him much in the past few years. Despite the fact that he was partly responsible for the destruction of Mobius.

The only reason he wasn't dead by her hand is that he lost everything from the destruction as well. He had to start from scratch in the Tech Republic.

They were colleagues now.

Blaze did the pre-flight checks. "Everything seems to be in order, Eggman."

Eggman grinned. "We will give them a show!"

The Egg Fighter had two seats with retractable domes, and unlike it's namesake, it was very pointy in most places. Not very round at all. NOT like the sputnik.

Eggman did not need someone else cracking the "It's mostly round yet quite pointy in parts" line again.

Across the garage, Wingding Cherryfang Mentalis, a teenaged boy, admired himself and his ship. He was wearing a bright orange shirt with an epic smiley face on it. On his head were giant black headphones, pushing his orange hair back. On top of his headphones appeared to be a cherry with a fang stuck through it, his namesake.

At his feet was his tiny dog, Dulecindi.

To his side stood what appeared to be a twelve year old girl, who was his cousin. Wingding Mavis Mentalis. Her white hair was far too long, reaching all the way to her feet. Aside from her white dress, Mavis wore several bracelets and amulets. One of her eyes were purple, the other red. Her eyelashes were double layered.

In front of them, was Cherryfang's ship, the Rainbow Doomfang.

The Rainbow Doomfang was a strange ship. It looked like the conjunction of two orange boxes, with wings pointing out at an odd angle. The wings and the front had various mish mashed weapons apparently slapped on. On the doorway of the ship was an epic smiley face.

The ship was the size of a small apartment.

Cherryfang Grinned. "Time to take the baby for a race!"

Mavis yawned. "Why am I here again?"

"Because you were the first one who said yes to coming with me."

Mavis shrugged. "So… should I blast everyone out of the sky or not?"

"Nah." Cherryfang said. "That wouldn't be fun. Let them challenge us a little."

He cracked his knuckles. "Let the race begin!"

"The race isn't for another hour, Cher."

"Don't call me Cher."

"Cher! Cher! Cher!"

Cherryfang moaned.

[][][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][]

In another galaxy, in another universe, Commander Shepard stood at the Galaxy Map aboard the Normandy. He was a veteran soldier, a Spectre for the Council, and recently a hero to the galaxy. He had stopped the Reaper Sovereign from launching a war on the Galaxy.

Today, he and his team were investigating a large power signature incoming from a nearby Dwarf Galaxy.

"The signature is incoming. It should be here within the hour." Tali reported. She was a Quarrian, so of course she was in her pressure suit, her mask hiding most of her face. The eyes were the only facial features visible beneath it. She was a young Quarrian, on her journey to help her race. Shepard knew she could have gone back to her home several times now, she just wanted to stay because of the fun. He let her stay, unlike Liara.

Liara just got on his nerves. He eventually did order her off the ship. Scrambled his brain one too many times.

Garrus looked at the screen, his Taurian face showing scrutiny. Shepard couldn't exactly describe Taurians. They looked somewhat reptilian, somewhat buglike. Garrus was bluish and wearing a visual enhancer/scanner over his left eye. "It seems to be a large vessel travelling at mass speeds. Too big to be a probe. A cargo ship perhaps? Exploratory vessel?"

Kaidan, a completely-average looking human soldier, shrugged. "New friends perhaps?"

Wrex, a large reptile alien, chuckled. "And they'll kill you. Again. Like everything else we meet."

"Hey! Just because I have a capacity for getting injured does not mean I'm going to DIE."

"Unlike Ashley." Muttered the final member of Commander Shepard's team. She had pinkish-purple hair, wore a strange outfit that looked like a trenchcoat with a skirt, a mini-backpack around her leg, and she carried a Blazefire Sabre, a cross between a sword and a gun. "She didn't get so lucky. We're not invincible, Kaiden."

Shepard held up his hand. "Lighting, that is behind us now. Ashley was a good soldier, she went down completing her mission. We don't need to be constantly reminded of it. You deal with the fact that you replaced her, and move on. Get back to adventure. Have fun. Make sarcastic remarks about Kaiden getting killed all the time. That sorta thing."

Lightning rolled her eyes.

Kaiden chuckled. "Magic lady sticking it to the man."

Shepard glared at Kaiden. "We do not mention her… skills... Kaiden. Kapeesh? Only our little group, Joker, and the Doc know okay? Not the rest of our crew."

"Yes sir!" Kaiden said, nervous.

Shepard nodded, turning back to the galaxy map and the view of the unknown.

He hoped it was friendly. He'd had enough of not friendly lately.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"The racers are starting their engines! The three alien craft sure do stand out don't they?"

"I wonder if they can take on ace pilot Muirios?"

"We know next to nothing about their capabilities. But Muirios's ship is state of the art. I say he still stands a chance if he keeps his head and expects the unexpected."

"And, aside from Muirios and the aliens, who else do you think has a chance?"

"Definitely not Finn and his little rustbucket. The alien technician, Carter, might give him some leeway but the Serbus definitely isn't going to contend. I'd bet my secondary money on Lael Montrose."

"Well then folks, let the games begin!"

"Phase zero, start the engines!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

There were roughly two dozen ships at the start line. Some looked sleek and professional, others looked like they were hastily slapped together. Others still looked like Cherryfang's: completely strange but somehow intimidating.

Cherryfang adjusted his headphones. "Here we go…"

Mavis yawned, lazily dangling a dog toy over Dulecindi's head.

Eggman cracked his knuckles. "Blaze! Pre-flight check!"

"All systems are green. Engines are powering."

Eggman grinned. "Faster than Sonic…"

"That may be so." Blaze said with an irked tone. "But he'd still kick it's butt."

Eggman twitched. "Whatever."

Lael Montrose tied her hair back. She gripped the wheel. Some people found it old fashioned to install a wheel on a ship. She felt that it gave her more of an edge.

Miranda simply closed her eyes and let her mind flow free. She took in the shape of the Onyx. it pulsed with light.

Finn was yelling at Carter. "How are the engines not ready yet?"

"FEW MORE SECONDS!" Carter yelled. "THERE! Engines ready!"

In his state-of-the-art ship, Muirios grinned to himself. He was going to win, but he couldn't make it look like he was a cheater. But the Esper-07 was an amazing ship anyway, it should be easy.

"3!"

The racers tensed, ready to rush into action.

"2!"

Except Mavis, who was still bored for some reason.

"1!"

You could cut the stress with a knife. Mavis was doing just that, albeit only in her mind.

"GO!"

Mavis snapped her fingers, pushing power into Cherryfang's engines, giving him a boost. The other racers followed in suit, behind him.

In a few minutes, the order was established.

"First: The Rainbow Doomfang! Second: The Esper-07! Third: The Egg Fighter! Fourth: Lael's Wrath! Fifth: The Ocantro!"

Muirios glared at the rectangular orange ship in front of him.

On it's back was an epic smiley face.

Muirios raged at it internally. Oooooh he didn't like this guy already.

Mavis turned to Cherryfang. "That guy behind you is really ticked off."

Cherryfang chuckled. "I love the rear smiley."

They rushed forward, to the first phase of the race.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"What place are we in?" Carter asked.

"Thirteenth."

"Ouch. We better pick up speed."

"Actually we're hanging back strategically. We're about to come up on the first phase: weapon drones. They will fire on the front ships, and the front ships will destroy them. The later we go in, the less drones we have to deal with."

Carter nodded. "I'll improve the shields then…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"WOOHOO!" Cherryfang yelled. "FIRE ALL THE RAINBOW CANNONS MAVIS!"

Mavis sighed. Violence. Oh well, the drones were unmanned. She pressed all the buttons mentally.

The various canons on the Rainbow Doomfang splayed out in a wonderful display of color. All the weapons were shooting rainbow-colored projectiles. Some were bombs, others rockets, others lasers, and still others plasma bolts.

The Rainbow Doomfang's shields were absorbing all the drone fire easily. He chuckled as his monitor indicated a ship six places back blowing an engine.

As he chuckled, the Esper-07 pulled in front of him, firing a weapon that seemed designed only to slow him down.

"What the- HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

Mavis smiled knowingly. "He's feeling rather pleased with himself."

Cherryfang turned red with anger. "FIRE THE MAIN RANBOW CANNON!"

"Won't" Mavis said.

Cherryfang deadpanned. "What?"

"Won't."

"Why on earth not?"

"We're not on earth."

"Okay then why in the universe not?"

"Um… cuz you're amusing? And I'm bored?"

The Egg Fighter pulled in front.

"Mavis. Just fire the cannon."

"Fine…" She pressed a button.

WORMHOLE DRIVE INITIATED.

Cherryfang stared "What did you do?"

"I have no idea. Is that bad?"

"Well, in addition to FTL travel getting us kicked out of the race, this hasn't really been tested…"

Mavis nodded, using her powers to try and shut it off.

Unfortunately, this only seemed to increase the drive's power.

WARNING. OVERLOAD.

Cherryfang groaned. He never could catch a break.

The Rainbow Doomfang stopped in its tracks, and began to glow.

All the other ships whipped by, except for the half-dozen or so disabled ships. The drones stopped firing.

Cherryfang held up a hand. "Mavis, do not use your powers. I'm going to try and fix this the normal way." He transformed himself into a strange crab-creature with an arm that had various tools growing out of it. He popped up a panel on the floor, and began tinkering with the engine.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Shepard watched as an explosion rocked the skies in front of him.

Talli blinked. "A Mass Effect break… they just stopped their FTL travel using a bomb!"

Garrus lifted his eyes. "Impressive!"

The ship was enormous. It was very long, with 3 cylinders running along a giant diamond shaped it seemed capable of holding several Normandy size ships _inside_ of it.

The normandy was hailed by a creature with a head that resembled the foot of a chicken crossed with the face of a triceratops.

"This is commander Gim'ran of the Cromian ship Corzanth." it said "Your vessel is of unknown design, identify yourselves"

Sheppard opened a comm link. "This is commander Shepard of th..." He was cut off by a surprised grunt from the tricera-foot. "Extrata'restrians!" Gim'ran said, "I was expecting to find alien life… but not this _soon._ But continue, continue, where do you hail from, Shepa'ard"

Shepard was a little taken aback, but quickly regained his footing. "Commander Shepard of the Human ship Normandy. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Welcome to the galaxy."

"How many more… _Huma'ans_ are there in this sector? You're the first we've seen."

Shepard decided to tread carefully. "This region of space is largely uninhabited. The Hanar, a race of jellyfish, have a base on the planet nearby. Not entirely sure what you call a sector, but we're only here because we detected you coming."

"Hrmph! Able to detect a launched ship from a long ways away! Impressive. How far away were we when you noticed us?"

Shepard turned to Tali. "How much?"

"Roughly 400,000 light years, commander. But that is only because they were giving off so much energy."

"Impressive, eh, i heard you mention the Hanar, and your friend there does not look huma'an. how many species are there in this … galaxy?"

Shepard thought. "A few dozen. Then there are the Reapers who live outside the galaxy."

"They bad news? I have enough enemies as it is."

Shepard noticed the 'enemies' comment. Maybe this wasn't such an honorable person. Oh well, give him the benefit of the doubt. "They wish to wipe out all life in this galaxy. We have no clue why, but they come back every time a large galactic civilization develops. I do not know if they'd be interested in you or not. They are a large mystery."

"Well… from the looks of your ship they would probably think our tech was pretty tasty."

Lightning snorted. Shepard gave her an indication to talk. "They far outmatch us in terms of technology. Twenty times more powerful perhaps. Just one ship decimated an entire fleet."

"Hrm..." was Gim'ran's only response.

There was a silence, and then a Cromian technician and Tali said the same thing at the exact same time.

"Sir! There's an anomaly forming between our two ships!"

Shepard and Gim'ran looked at each other. Both of them thought the same thing. _Ugh. Complications._

Tali smashed buttons trying to get a reading. "It appears to be increasing in power- and the energy appears to be coming from nowhere!"

"Nowhere? How is that possible?" Shepard asked.

"There's a reason it's called an _anomaly_ and not an _understandable event_ commander!"

"Ah…. Gim'ran any idea what it is?"

"Not a single one Shepa'ard." He thought for a moment. "Perhaps our ships are reacting to each other?"

Tali shook her head. "The energy is coming from nowhere. Also known as not form our ships."

Gim'ran sighed. This one thought herself amusing. Great.

Suddenly, the anomaly grew in size, absorbing the ships.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Do you need assistance?"

Mavis played with the intercom. "I don't think so. Cherryfang's got it. His all-in-one Crabby Tool™ is going to fix it. Soon. Maybe."

"If you insist… your ship is glowing."

"If it explodes I can contain it. Rest assured. No danger to you."

"What about you two?"

"We'll be fine." She glanced at Dulecindi. "Well, we might have to clone the dog…"

Cherryfang managed to give her an over-my-dead-body look with his crab face.

Mavis rolled her eyes. "No assistance needed-"

Suddenly, the glowing ship let out a puff of white energy.

It didn't harm anything.

But when it vanished, Cherryfang's ship was gone.

In its place were the Normandy and Corzanth.

The attack drones were still on alert, and they detected two new racers. They fired to disable, quickly knocking the Normandy out of commission.

However, the Corzanth was a much bigger vessel.

"Destroy the attackers!" Gim'ran yelled.

The sides of the ship opened, revealing dozens of plasma cannons. They fired.

The drones were easily destroyed.

On the network, the announcers were silent.

One of them finally spoke. "Well that is surely NOT the way to introduce yourself…"

The other one nodded. "Folks, we will deal with this while the racers go into the corona of the sun! Who will come out in tact? No-one knows."

On board the Normandy Shepard yelled. "Restore communications!"

Tali smirked. "Already done. Receiving several wishes to communicate."

"Patch them all through to one channel."

The scramble of voices drowned out everything, Making it impossible to talk.

Wrex grew tired of the babble. "QUIET DOWN EVERYONE OR I START SMASHING HEADS."

The network grew quiet.

"Thank you Wrex…" Shepard said, not entirely sure if he was really thankful. "I am Commander Shepard of the Normandy."

"We know this already Huma'an." Gim'ram grumbled.

"I'm talking to the others, Gim'ram."

"Oh. Others! Identify yourselves!"

"This is the Hebridan Council. What are you doing in our space interrupting our race?"

"Race?" Gim'ram harumphed. "More like deathzone. I don't appreciate being fired upon, Hebri'ida'an Council."

"Gim'ram let's try to resolve this peacefully and without blowing up heads…" Shepard cautioned.

"Fine. Let's get your ship in the docking bay so we can begin repairs then?"

"Make it so Joker."

The cocky man at the helm grinned. "Aye aye commander."

Shepard turned back to the comm. "Anyone else here I should know about?"

"This is Wingding Chloe Marlowe. Um… well since Miranda's in the race I'm the highest member of the Hoseki here. HI! Well I represent the Hoseki. There are others here besides us and the Hebridans but they're…. busy with the race."

A voice of an older man came over the com. "Hey! Did you forget about Jack O'Neill over here? I do things! I'm important!"

"You're not a Hoseki."

"But I'm not a Hebridan either, and therefore not included in your list! HA little girl."

"...did you just call me _little girl?_ "

"Why are the heads of nations acting like little children?" Gim'ran interjected

O'Neill and Chloe both answered at the same time. "Because life is boring and we need spice in life."

Gim'ran harumphed.

The Hebridan Consul sighed. "Can we all just sit down and talk?"

Gim'ran muted his mic and stoped video streaming.

Shepard grumbled. "Joker, stop taking us into the Corzanth…" If Gim'ran was that easily offended Shepard wasn't sure he wanted to be tied with him.

Joker nodded, pulling away. The ship was lurching left and right, obviously not functioning well.

Gim'ran bristled with anger. First they were shot upon. Then they wanted to talk? Then his 'friends' refused his help? He turned his comm back on but said nothing. He still wanted to hear them talk, after all.

"-pt your offer of ship repair." Gim'ran could hear Shepard finishing. Gim'ran bristled. He was extremely tempted to blast everything nearby out of the sky.

He kept himself under control, for the moment.

He quickly realized he was alone now. It was just him and his really big ship.

"Ready weapons just in case." He ordered.

Oh well. He'd find a way out of this mess on his own.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In the corona of Hebridan's sun, Erba, Carter was having difficulty.

"Crap! Someone sabotaged the engines!"

"What?" Finn yelled. "How? WHY?"

"Don't know." She kicked the shield generator. "But I got it fixed now."

"...how does kicking the shield generator fix the engines?"

"Well the transit cable here connects the two and a kick provides the slight voltage needed to jostle the capacitor needed to-"

"Allright allright just fly us out of here."

They took off, blasting out of Erba's corona.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Despite the interruptions, the race is still underway!"

"Oh look at that, only eight ships remain! The others have had to be towed. How sad for them."

"Muirios is in the lead! The Serbus is in last place!"

"Amazing that ship survived though huh?"

"Indeed. I was expecting it to fall to pieces after the drone phase."

"They did play the drone phase strategically."

"Of course. Now, the long stretch. This phase will test the strength of the ship's engines!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Muirios wasn't happy. He was supposed to have won. The other ships were supposed to be disabled.

But, right behind him, was that stupid Egg-ship-thing and Lael's wannabe-victory ship.

And they were FIRING at him. Weren't the weapons supposed to fry upon being shot?

It just so happens that Muirios was right. The weapons did fry. However, Lael had a secret secondary weapon system, and the Egg Fighter wasn't using its normal weapons…

Eggman smiled. "Blaze, fire another fireball into the cannon."

Blaze nodded, generating fire around her hands, before forcing it into the cannon. The fire cascaded around the chamber before firing out in a fireball towards Muirios' ship.

"Eggman, are you completely sure he is the one who sabotaged us?"

"If he isn't at least friends with them, the saboteurs are probably pretty ticked off out there that their guy isn't winning. Either way I still want to blow something up for daring to tamper with my ship."

Blaze rolled her eyes, firing again.

Behind the three leaders, Miranda sighed.

Well, it was time to floor it.

She focused her mind, and the Onyx shot forward, blowing the three out of the water. (er… space). As she passed then, she waved her hand, creating a bunch of glowing dust that read "See you later, losers."

Muirios raged. "HOW DARE SHE-"

Then one of the fireballs finally hit him, disabling his engines.

Muirios' mood changed virtually instantly from rage, to crestfallen, back to rage, then to hopelessness, then mild insanity.

Well, that was that. Better repair the engines and fly back. He would NOT accept any help. Screw that idea.

Meanwhile, the Onyx, Egg Fighter, and Lael's Wrath sped on ahead, pulling further and further ahead of the other racers.

Finn and Carter glowered silently to themselves.

They would figure out something…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Normandy docked at a Hebridan docking station, and repair began immediately.

Of course Tali was asking all sorts of questions.

"What is that? How does it work? Will it break the drive? What about this panel? How are you fixing it without a tool? Why don't you just use an Omni-tool?"

The technicians were not having a good time with her.

One technician, however, did have a return question. In the cargo bay there was a mobile tank known as a Mako, and a strange sleek vehicle that looked somewhat like a fighter. It seemed seamless, as if it was grown. "What is that?" He pointed.

Tali glanced. "That's… Lightning's ship. The Crimson Blitz. You'll have to ask her about that." She seemed apprehensive to talk about it.

The technician turned to find Lightning talking to Garrus. He walked up to them and opened his mouth.

"No I am not going to explain why my ship looks like it was grown, how it works, where it's from, or anything else."

The technician shut up and walked away.

Garrus rolled his eyes. "You could work on your people skills."

"I have people skills. I just find that scaring them off is faster."

"Riiiiiight."

"Just make sure they don't touch the Crimson Blitz."

"Gotcha."

Meanwhile, Shepard was talking personally with O'Neill and Chloe. The Hebridan Consul didn't come because of 'political reasons.'

Shepard and O'Neill were quickly discovering that they were kindred spirits.

"-and then I whipped out my gun and said "NOBODY MOVE!"

O'Neill chuckled at this. "Ah, but what about the time I said. "EVERYBODY! MOVE!" and no one moved at all?"

The two shared a laugh.

Chloe blinked. "What's so funny?"

"You wouldn't understand." O'Neill said, grinning that lopsided grin of his.

Chloe sighed. "Can we just get on with the 'welcome the Normandy to the new Alliance yadda yadda' and help him find his way home?"

O'Neill turned to Shepard. "Welcome to the Alliance yadda yadda."

They cracked up.

Chloe sighed. "Shepard. What did your galaxy look like?"

Shepard motioned them towards the galaxy map. It looked exactly like the Andromeda galaxy. Chloe nodded. "Well we know what galaxy you're from. But… we have no way to know which universe."

"Universe?"

Chloe nodded. "There are thirteen universes that make up the multiverse. We can access five of them. There is the chance you are from we haven't gone to yet…"

Shepard sighed. "We better try though right?"

"Fastest FTL can have us in the Andromeda galaxy by the end of the month. Shifting between universes will be relatively easy once we get there. You know, assuming that we CAN access your universe."

"Better than nothing I suppose…" Shepard said.

"We can arrange a tow." O'Neill said. "Personally, we like allies."

"We would to. We've got an enemy breathing down our throat."

"Same here. The bad guys seem to have been multiplying lately."

Chloe smirked. "Well, either they'll bond together and crush us easily, or they'll bicker amongst themselves and wipe each other out. Right?"

O'Neill and Shepard rolled their eyes.

Chloe stood up. "I'll make the arrangements. A Hoseki carrier and cruiser will be assigned to escort you back. And the Cromians, if they want it."

Shepard nodded. "I'll extend the invitation to them. Oh, and can I have a star chart of your galaxy? Just curious."

Chloe waved her hands, a string of code appearing in midair in front of her. She waved her hand again, and downloaded it into the computer. "There you go. All the info you need on the galaxy."

And with that, they left.

Shepard called Lightning in, and showed her the map.

Lightning nodded, and pointed to a star at the rim. It zoomed in to show a solar system. "That's Gran Pulse."

"How do you know if it's the right one?"

Lightning smiled, comparing the five known instances of this planet together. "Earth… Earth… Mushroom World… Uninhabited and Ruined… Asu Rando…" She sighed. "Nope. None of them."

Shepard looked at her. "You should stay. This is closer to your home than our galaxy."

Lightning nodded, and she walked out. "See ya."

"As always, Lightning." Shepard sat back and pondered the few days he had known her.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning started up the Crimson Blitz. The Fal'cie powering it was co-operating at the moment. She suspected this was only because she already had a brand, and that there were no other Fal'cie around. Just a matter of time until it decided it didn't like her anymore.

Actually, scratch that, it already didn't like her. At all.

"And the lady of pain returns… Destroyer of the plan..." It was also oddly chatty for a Fal'cie. Most refused to talk to humans. Lightning suspected that it was a tad insane though.

"Shuddup Lyre."

"What is your bidding, oh mistress of annoyance…"

Also melodramatic.

"Launch."

"As you wish, oh-"

"Can it Lyre."

The ship powered up, creating a green energy trail as it rose. It left the Normandy. Lightning brought back up the Milky Way star chart. Gran Pulse. Her home. Well, a version of it. Here it was Earth. Perhaps the answers lie there.

One day away by Fal'cie drive.

"Set course. Go."

The green trail turned red, and the Crimson Blitz blasted through the cosmos.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Miranda sensed a surge of magical energy. _There's not supposed to be a magical power source that strong in this universe-_

The thought was cut off by Eggman's ship fireballing hers. "HOOHOHOHOHO! Distracted!"

Miranda glared at him, turned her fighter, and blasted some thaumispheres.

"WOAH! HEY! HEYEEYEYEYEYEY!"

As the two entered a firefight, Lael passed them.

The two stopped firing at each other. Then then cursed.

 _Stupid._

Then they were given another blow as Carter and Finn passed them.

"HAHAHAHHAHAH! Take THAT Miranda!"

Finn raised his eye ridge. "Isn't she on your team?"

"Nothing bad with some healthy competition."

Miranda got angry. She fired several black crystal missiles.

"Crap." Carter muttered.

"Entering the asteroid field!"

"Oh boy."

The Egg Fighter and Onyx attempted to catch back up. Miranda completely forgetting about the magic surge.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Muirios' ship limped back to Hebridan. He was cursing the whole way.

Some strange person had hailed him. "Hebri'idan vessel! BACK OFF!"

He had responded with more swearing. No one was going to inconvenience him any further-

Gim'ran growled. This ship was still coming, firing off insults, and not changing course. Enough was enough.

"Fire." He ordered.

Miurios blew up. Kaboom.

"Oops." Gim'ran said, sarcastically. "Tell them that we gave him ample warning. Also say that we don't take kindly to heavy insults. And tell them I'm not responding to any messages with anything other than an explosion right now. I'll be in my office."

With that, Gim'ran left the bridge.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Hebridan Consul pondered this event.

On one hand, the newcomers had destroyed one of their vessels.

On the other, Muirios had been warned.

On the first, Muirios had been a celebrity.

On the other again, Muirios was a jerk the Consul wasn't particularly fond of.

He decided that he would demand they leave. Since they were leaving anyway, that wouldn't change anything and he wouldn't lose his job for failing to take action.

He sent the message.

Then he went to his office, to see if he could catch a nap.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

As the Hoseki ships arrived, preparing to take the Normandy and the Corzanth to the Andromeda galaxy, the race was wrapping up.

Only four ships were still in the running. The Onyx and Lael's wrath were in the lead, firing missiles at each other. The Serbus was behind, trying to simply survive the asteroid impacts. The Egg Fighter was having fun in last place blasting asteroids away.

"BLAM! BLAM BLAMIITTYBLAM!"

"Eggman…"

"What? Blasting things is fun. Hohohohoho!"

Blaze facepalmed.

This action made her not fire the weapon.

An asteroid hit the Egg Fighter in one of the engines, causing it to spin out.

Eggman turned to glare at Blaze. "Ahem…"

Blaze glared back. "You were being a dolt."

This triggered an argument.

 _Three_ ships remained.

Miranda and Lael were locked in combat. Miranda was surprised at how many weapons systems were hidden on Lael's Wrath. She was having difficulty coming up with non-lethal spells that could combat what was being dished out.

Lael was having similar thoughts.

Carter and Finn, on the other hand, were getting ready to execute a plan.

"Finish line in thirty seconds…."

Carter nodded. "Push the button on my mark…"

They waited fifteen seconds.

"NOW!"

The Serbus blasted forward, inching just ahead of the two ships locked in combat.

"Ladies and gentleman, a photo finish! Let's see what the video says…"

Carter, Finn, Miranda, and Lael held their breath.

"Third place: The Onyx!"

"WHAT? NO THAT'S NOT-" She checked her own logs of the race. "UGH. Fine…"

"Second place: Lael's Wrath!"

Lael simply nodded. She had been beaten. At least it wasn't by that b****** Muirios.

"And the victor is Serbus! What an unexpected victory!"

Carter and Finn whooped and jumped into a hug, before awkwardly pulling away.

Carter grinned. "Well, you won. Go get your prize. I should get back to the SGC."

"Of course. You have responsibilities."

"I'll be back next year."

Finn laughed. "Of course."

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Beep. Beep. Beep."

Gim'ran sighed. He had told them not to disturb him…

Suddenly the comm started speaking. "Yeah hello? It's Chloe… Hacked into your system. Needed to give ya a message…"

"Well how the crap did you manage that?"

"My main… 'skill...' is to transfer information on a whim. Access computers at any time, anywhere. Blah blah blah. Personal internet."

"Interesting. Whaddayawant."

"Well, we want to know how you make those mass relays Shepard told us about. Apparently his race just found them, but I believe that you can make them."

"We do. I have three small ones on the Corzanth right now. Good for FTL fights."

"Interesting. We have FTL fights too, though not at those high of speeds. Tell you what: On the trip, we will upgrade your ship to be able to propel itself through hyperspace on its own, if you tell us how to create mass relays. As it is, it'll cut the travel time between galaxies by four."

"Good good. FTL without a relay would be nice..."

"Good, we shall set up trade. I'll instruct the techs to oversee your ships upgrade. Hopefully this will be the start of a great trading agreement." Chloe cut the connection.

She HATED politics. Correction: she liked it when she was reporting on it and exposing fraud. She hated being a politician herself. But when the president says 'he knows you and you are trustworthy' well you listen. You just listen.

She sighed. Well, mission accomplished. Time to send them on their way.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A few hours later, a Hoseki carrier and cruiser appeared in-system to escort the Corzanth and Normandy back to Andromeda. The cruiser, called the Oxlya, appeared like a warship, but smaller. The carrier, called the Bern, was like a three kilometer pill. Fat as well. Obviously a lot of empty space in there.

Within the hour, they blasted off into intergalactic space.

Shepard sat back in his seat, preparing for a long and boring trip.

He did tell everyone to be on alert though. Boring trips tended to always have at least something go wrong when least expected.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Cherryfang groaned.

The star chart showed that they were in the Andromeda galaxy.

Well, at least the DPS knew that they were in the…. Ordered universe. The one where Rosalina and her resetting galaxy were.

Of course they weren't IN that galaxy. So that was a problem.

Mavis grumbled. "Quantum communication is fried. We can still use radio, but we aren't getting a transgalactic message."

Cherryfang moaned. GREAT. Just GREAT. "Any signs of life?"

"How should I know?"

"COMPUTER, any signs of life?"

Mavis turned red as the computer answered. "There is a large structure in space nearby, along with several ships surrounding a largely aquatic planet."

"Take us in."

"Only have sublight."

"Ugh. Take us in SLOWLY…"

Mavis chuckled.

Dulecindi barked.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

WKH RQH ZLWKRXW GHVWLQB KDV EHJXQ WKH MRXUQHB

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: hopefully the next chapter will come out faster. ^^" Aside from that… well. I want to say so much but spoilers.**

 **Anyway how you like the Cromians? TD will appreciate feedback on his creations.**

 **(FYI: We own virtually none of the stuff in this universe. That being said, I own the Hoseki, TD owns the Cromians, and there may be a few other things we bring in to toy around with as we see fit.)**

 **TD: I need a forum… ima make a forum post so i can post things there X3 Expect more Cromians before the end of Jan! :3 Also, don't feel sorry for Cher. Just don't. He'll be fine. X3 Good'day!**

 **Cherryfang: HEY! I AM NOT CHER!**

 **[][][][][][][][][][][][]BOLD END[][][][][][][][][][][][]**


	7. January 6: Crash

**AN:**

 **GM: Well… this turned out to be much longer than expected. Here, we visit the Agents once more, getting a further look into their world and what they have to deal with. But man I had no plan for it to become this long. Eh, what are you going to do. Not as big as Jan 1, so I suppose that's good.**

 **Anyway, let's go to Earth and see what we have to discover… Conspiracies, secrets, governments, and unusual phenomena… :3**

 **TD: custard anyone? no? okden :3**

Friday, January 6: Crash

"Go fish."

"ARGH!"

The bridge crew of the Xyla were goofing off. While the Hoseki had a lot of technology and lots of power, they tended to lack discipline.

This crew (who all shall remain nameless to protect their identities… okay because the authors don't want to bother coming up with names for people who will never show up again) were so into their childish game that they didn't notice a new dot appear on the proximity sensors.

The ship's computer determined that it didn't possess a threat, so it ignored the dot. The only indication it really gave was a light "bing" noise. Since the computer gave of several of these bings every day, no-one paid it much attention.

And so, the Crimson Blitz wasn't confronted.

"Ah dastardly woman, we are approaching Earth…"

"Take us down. Preferably a desert. I don't want to draw attention." Lightning prepared for atmosphere entrance.

The jerk from the atmosphere was much harder than it should have been. The lights started blinking red. The Crimson Blitz began to shake and shudder.

Lyre lost the depressed and annoyed tone, replacing with panic. "Magical surge! Engines fried! We're going down!"

"Oh no." So much for not drawing attention. Lightning prepared for impact.

Everything went black.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

" _Sis! Pull up!"_

" _I'm trying! This d*** Fal'cie isn't listening to me!"_

" _But it agreed to help us!"_

" _Yeah well it isn't now!"_

 _Lyre took this opportunity to speak. "It isn't me controlling us, mistress of catastrophe."_

" _I'm coming to get you sis!"_

 _Lightning yelled. "No! I don't know where we're going!"_

 _A bright light._

 _The sound of two distinct voices screaming._

 _Then black._

 _[][][][][][][][][][][][][]ITALICS BREAK[][][][][][][][][]_

Lightning woke up with a jerk. Lights were blaring all around her. She slammed the controls, causing the cockpit to pop open. She acted quickly. It was almost guaranteed people saw her coming in that fast. She grabbed the Blazefire Sabre, the multiverse information pad, and the Quantum Communicators. Then she reached under the panel, and pried it open.

"Challenger of fate, what are you doing?"

"Getting you out of here!" Lightning grunted.

"Thank you, oh mistress of demise, but… why?"

"You want to be experimented on?"

"Ah. Fair point."

Lightning ripped him out. He was a small Fal'Cie. He was a star-shaped crystal encased in four prongs of technology designed to interface with the Crimson Blitz, or another ship. Lyre functioned as both the computer and power source. Lightning pocketed him in her leg pack. "Be quiet." She muttered before running away from the crash site.

Trees everywhere. At least the area was uninhabited. And she had been lucky enough not to start a fire. But she needed to move, fast. A ship coming in at high speed was bound to draw attention from someone.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Agent Mulder's computer gave a 'bing' noise. He barely gave a glance at it before standing up and running for the lab's door, barely avoiding any of the fragile experiments.

Walter stopped him. "Where are you going? I need a test subject for my new laxative…"

Mulder sighed. "UFO crash. Probably in forest. Must get there before government."

Walter dropped his tools. "Well then what are we waiting for? TO THE CAR!"

"Okay lets just MOVE IT! PLEASE!" He started pushing Walter out the door.

Scully and Astrid arrived at the lab to see Mulder and Walter speeding off in Mulder's car, burning some of the rubber on the tires.

Astrid blinked. "What are they doing?"

"Mulder's computer probably picked up another UFO." Scully offered. "Chances are he'll get there and find out it was a false alarm. Again."

"Okay…" Astrid responded warily.

"Let's just get into the lab and wait for a case."

Astrid nodded.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"And I can now give you a clean bill of health!"

Olivia looked at the doctor with a squint. She was leaning on a cane. She couldn't walk straight. "Clean bill of health." RIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

Oh well, at least it meant she could get back to work for real now instead of just dropping in.

She put her cane forward and walked out of the hospital, back to the lab. Peter walked beside her, ready to catch her if she fell. Or tripped.

Olivia knew this and kept giving him looks of 'don't-you-dare' and he was responding with 'I-do-dare-and-I-dare-you-to-do-something-about-it.' It was an amusing game to watch.

Peter led them to the car. "Ladies first-"

"I'm driving Peter. This is my car."

"Ah but you aren't fully up to normal Olivia standards yet."

"I was given a clean bill of health!"

"By a doctor who was pressured to get you back in action as quickly as possible."

Olivia grumbled. "I'm still driving-" She tripped over her cane, but Peter caught her. "Uh… no you are not."

Olivia grudgingly agreed, though she still wasn't coping with being 'weak' at the moment. She touched her gun, making sure it was there. It was… comforting. In a way.

They drove off, oblivious that they were being watched.

The Shapeshifter that looked like Charlie Francis stared at them with a completely blank expression.

Olivia knew. She knew things that they needed to know.

If only she could remember.

Never the matter. He'd find a way to jog her memory.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _Who needs roads?_ Mulder thought.

Walter was thinking something similar. _Roads are for the common folk!_

The only issue they had were the fact that there were trees in the way.

Mulder knew that speed + lots of trees = crash. But he decided to ignore logic for a moment. (Okay so Mulder was generally in a perpetual state of ignoring logic, but that form of illogic solved cases. This form was just stupid.)

Needless to say, they hit a tree eventually.

The two of them crawled out, unscaved, but very dizzy.

"I feel like I've dipped into the crazy bucket I keep in the back…"

Mulder ignored the crazy bucket comment and tried to run towards the 'crash.'

He ran right into a woman with pinkish-purple hair. Amethyst colored. She had a strange weapon in her hands, evidentially a sword-gun combo.

She recovered first, aiming her sword-gun at Mulder. "Hold it."

Mulder raised his hands. "Okay, you've got me."

Walter poked his head from behind a tree. "Oh! How wonderful! A lovely lady!"

Mulder and the woman stared at Walter in disbelief. Walter continued. "Tell me, do you like custard?"

The woman blinked. "No…"

"Drat. I need someone to share it with. Oh and could you please not point the gun at Agent Mulder? I'd prefer him to be alive right now. Don't want to have to revive him later."

Mulder blinked. "You can do that?"

"In a manner of speaking."

Mulder wasn't sure he wanted to know. He shook his head, turning back to the woman. "Um… hi there. I'm Agent Mulder and this is Walter Bishop. I believe in aliens and he's a mad scientist."

"Mad has such a negative connotation with it. I prefer… mentally challenged. At least I think I prefer it…"

The woman squinted her eyes untrustingly at Mulder. "Aliens?"

"Well, you may look human but your attire is unusual, you have a weapon with strange designs, and you look like you just suffered a crash."

The woman cursed. It wasn't a word Mulder knew. He guessed the translator she was wearing didn't wish to insult him.

Mulder put his hand behind his head. "Anyway, while I may be curious I won't want to dissect you. However, the people who will be all over this place in a few minutes probably will."

The woman lowered her weapon. "How do I know I can trust you?"

An airplane flew overhead. Black. Military.

Mulder shrugged. "You don't. But I'm at least trying to be friendly. Want to take a chance with people you know even less about?"

The woman shook her head, apparently in dismay. "What do you have in mind?"

Mulder clapped his hands. "I've always been prepared for this! There's an extra change of clothes in the car, as well as a super-duper secret compartment for any odd technology you may have that we'll need to keep secret!" He rushed to the car and threw a black agent outfit on her. "What's your name by the way?"

She blinked. "Lightning." She started putting the agent uniform on over her other clothes. It was uncomfortable, but it was fast.

Mulder scratched his chin. "Have anything more normal sounding? I'll have to call you Agent something…"

"You could call me Agent Faron."

"Brilliant. Throw your stuff in this compartment Lightning…" Mulder flicked an area of the car with his finger, then tapped two other seemingly random places. A compartment popped up.

Lightning threw in her translator, her Blazefire Sabre, the pad, her quantum communicator, and the pack around her leg.

"Now, Lightning, act like you're coming with me to see the crashed ship! We're all UFO enthusiasts who want to see UFO crash sites!"

Lightning blinked. "And how do I do that?" She asked, confused.

"Just pretend like you've never seen it before, and that the crash is absolutely fascinating, and that the government people are jerks."

Lightning shrugged. Simple enough. The latter part was her default frame of mind anyway.

"Also here's a normal gun. Use it only if they decide they have to get rid of us."

They barely walked for two minutes towards the crash when the Men in Black showed up.

"Yeah, Mulder, you know the deal. Turn back."

Mulder recognized this MIB. "You again? Really? Weren't you in Ohio last time?"

"Got a new station. Now get out Mulder."

Mulder threw his hands in the air. "Fine. Can I at least have a technician help fix my car?"

The MIB motioned to the man to his left. "Just get them out of here okay?"

"Yessir."

Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Promotion too?"

"Yes. Now get back before I have to shoot you and your friends." He glanced over at Lightning.

She tensed.

He then shifted his glance to Walter. "Great. I know you. You're that mad scientist."

"Yes I am! Would you like some custard?"

The MIB pondered this. "Why yes. Yes I would."

"See? Someone appreciates me." Walter reached into his labcoat and gave the man a mini-custard. He ate it greedily.

"We never get good food…"

Lightning sighed. "Can we just get out of here now?"

The MIB nodded. "Back to the car. Also, a military drone crashed here, nothing more." He said it without even expecting Mulder to buy it.

Mulder nodded. "Of course." Making sure the MIB knew that he knew exactly what had crashed here.

Walter looked between the two of them, confused. "Wait… But… You said… But you know… Uh…"

"It's just the way things work, Walter. It was a drone crash." Mulder patted him on the back. "I'll try to explain later."

Lightning was completely baffled by the exchange as well. The conversation was loaded with tons of subtext she wasn't getting. She was going to listen to that explanation.

The technician looked at the tree-impacting car. He blinked. "Okay, how did you manage to crash it in exactly the right way not to break it beyond repair?"

"Luck. I have lots of it." Mulder said with a grin.

"You got stopped by us."

"Ah, yes. Never got to see the 'military drone.' Such a disappointment."

The tech groaned. "Just… give me two minutes and get going."

They were on the road in three minutes.

Mulder let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Walter chuckled. "Government people…"

Lightning stared out the window, pondering.

That had been way too easy.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The MIB watched as the Crimson Blitz was pulled out of the ground, and loaded into a giant truck.

He had overseen many UFO transportations. He had read the database on known alien vessels, which was extensive.

This sleek vessel was not in the database. It was an unknown. That was unusual.

After all, all the races that had interest in Earth were catalogued. The chances of someone just randomly landing here by chance was beyond astronomical.

This was what worried the MIB. The chances were that this ship had come here with intent. What intent, the MIB didn't know.

He heard a rustle in the bushes. He whirled around, drawing his weapon. It wasn't an ordinary gun, it was enhanced with the latest from offworld. He gestured to the other men to draw their weapons as well.

Out of the grasses came a tall humanoid figure. It wore no clothes, was lanky, and had long fingers and toes. But what really took the cake, was the creature's face. It was horrific. a huge mouth with visible flesh folds. Two pitch-black eyes. Warping wrinkles everywhere.

The MIBs stared at the creature.

The creature stared back. Then it quickly covered its face as if in shame, cowering. It began to blubber incoherently, like a paranoid teenage girl.

It baffled the MIB. They were normally trained to deal with the strange and unusual. But this was just too odd. This… alien was… insecure?

Less than a minute later, the creature started screaming. However, unlike the previous sounds, these were not screams of fear. No, rather, these were screams of anguish and rage. The creature removed its hands from its face, unfolded its mouth to an immense size, and rushed the MIBs.

Their commander was eaten whole. The other MIB noticed that there was no way that the creature's lanky figure could hold the man inside.

They fired weapons. Plasma fire coursed through the air, rippling the flesh of the creature. All the fire appeared to be doing, however, was keep the creature from moving forward. It was still angry and screeching. It was not becoming visibly damaged.

The noise from the fire was so intense they didn't notice the large man leaping from the sky.

He appeared middle-eastern, and his body was virtually covered in demonic tattoos. Around his neck was some kind of collar that was glowing softly red.

He grinned. "Killing time." His voice sounded like that of a stereotypical insane murderous psychopath, although it might have been slightly deeper. He rushed forth, pulling a giant claymore out of nowhere, and slicing three MIBs at once, the blood splattering everywhere. He kicked another one in the ribcage, shattering virtually all his ribs and shredding his lungs.

Then one of the fancy weapons actually hit him, blowing his left arm clean off. He roared, leaping into a rage, bashing everything in sight.

The distraction provided by him allowed the creature to move forth, devouring more of the agents.

One of the MIB raised a gun, ready to blow the man's stomach out, when a disembodied female hand came out of nowhere and adjusted the gun's angle to shoot another MIB.

The man barely had time to feel horrified at what his gun had done. The creature bit his head off.

Soon, there was no-one left remaining.

The man grabbed the Crimson Blitz with his remaining arm, lifted it above his head, and walked off with it.

He grinned. That had been fun. He threw a bag over the creature's face.

The creature followed him, grumbling as if it was hungry.

Mission completed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Scully poked a frog that was sitting on the lab table. "Seems he left an incomplete experiment…"

"Oh, that could be a completed experiment for all we know." Astrid offered.

Scully backed away from the frog, unsure. She was about to investigate some of the documents lying around to glean some information when Peter and Olivia walked in.

Scully ran up to help steady Olivia, but she was stopped by a Olivia's hand. Olivia attempted to walk on her own, succeeding, but obviously hindered.

"Where's Walter?" She asked, sitting down.

Scully shrugged. "He and Mulder were driving off when we got here."

"Mulder was the one driving right?" Peter asked.

"I think so."

Peter translated this into 'I hope so.'

She continued. "I think Mulder's UFO alert system triggered, and he ran off. Walter followed of course."

Olivia blinked. "He has a UFO alert system?"

"Yep. It doesn't go off often. And even then, nine out of ten times it's nothing. Of those one in ten chances it is something, it's usually nothing worth looking at. And when it IS something worth looking at, the government people turn us away. I think the system has only given us one good thing to look at. And THAT was taken from us."

Peter shook his head. "One of these days I'm going to have a chat with those… men in black?"

Scully nodded, affirming his presumption. "We do have more resources now…"

The four of them shrugged. Peter turned to Olivia. "Well, you up for a drive? I may have a case for us to check out."

Olivia shrugged. "Sure." She turned to Scully. "Give us a call when Mulder and Walter come back."

"You got it."

Scully went back to ruffling through papers. Minutes later, she heard the noise that could only be made by Mulder trying to drive a car into the driveway as fast as possible, come to a complete stop in a few milliseconds, and then rush out.

In less descriptive terms, a VROOOOOMERSCREEEEECHHHHHHHTHUNK.

Scully and Astrid turned to see Mulder rush in.

"We got something Scully!"

"Don't you mean someONE mister Mulder?" Walter asked.

"Of course. Where are my manners? Lightning! Come in!"

Scully raised her eyebrows skeptically at the young woman who walked in. "Who is this Mulder? And why are you letting her into the lab? We've got sensitive things in here!"

"She IS a 'sensitive thing!'"

Lightning gave Mulder a glare. She did not appreciate being called a 'thing.'

Scully folded her arms. "How so?"

"She's an alien."

Scully raised her eyebrows. "You sure?"

"Definitely." Mulder said, smiling. "Her ship crashed and we managed to get her out of there. You are looking at Agent Faron, called Lightning by her friends."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "I'm not an agent."

"Cover is important to keep up, Agent Faron."

Scully was still skeptical. "Every other alien we've encountered either wants us dead, doesn't care, or won't tell us things because they fear the others. I'm not buying this."

Lightning shrugged before tossing a device on the table. "This is a datapad with basic information on the universes."

Scully picked up the datapad. It came to life in her hands, projecting a 3D hologram of the galaxy in her hands. She was impressed. "Well then…"

Walter interrupted. "Universes? You've been to other universes?"

Lightning visibly hesitated before answering. "No. I've only been to this one. I am aware that there are four known other ones."

Walter turned around. "Four more... " He swiped the pad away from Scully, who was just reading an interesting bit about various kinds of ships. Walter waved his hand over the pad, and asked it to tell him all it knew about the universes. He widened his eyes.

"There are a total of thirteen universes, five of which have been discovered and accessed by the Hoseki…"

Astrid looked over his shoulder. "Look at Earth Walter. They've only catalogued ours. Not the Alternate dimension."

Walter nodded. "It seems we know more than the makers of this pad do. Intriguing." He spoke to the pad again. "Tell us how to build a dimensional drive."

The pad brought up a message saying technical specs were not allowed to be put in unprotected datafiles.

"So it won't give us any classified information…" Scully said.

 _It also won't tell you anything but the most basic details about your world…_ Lightning thought.

They began to pour over the pad, forgetting all about Lightning. That was just as well. She still wasn't sure that giving them the pad was a good idea. Though, she probably needed their trust if she was to survive here.

And it seemed like they knew about at least one universe that wasn't on the map. That was something. Maybe they could get her home.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A piece was missing.

The scientists had crawled all over the Crimson Blitz, and they had found one thing: the core was missing. Every other part was useless.

Two men sat in a the office overlooking the containment.

"Omega-7 do their job as usual…"

"Messy, but effective. They completed their objective."

"But the core is missing."

"Of course. That is something we cannot allow to remain outside of our protection."

"We will hunt it down and find it. It is only a matter of time."

"I have a pretty good idea where it is…"

"The only complication is that we are not the only ones who want it."

"It is a rare event when the two of us come to a conflict."

"It never ends well."

One of them stood up, patting down his suit. "I'll go supervise the operation myself. Get me Omega-7's stealthy ones."

"Of course."

The man walked out, shutting the door behind him.

On the door was a circular logo with three arrows pointing inside. Under the logo were the words: "SCP: Secure Contain Protect."

The man walked off, his heels making clicking noises with every step.

The hallways were quiet.

He was glad they had soundproofed the rooms. The sounds of screaming could no longer be heard. They had been irritating.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lansdale, Pennsylvania.

A boring town. Fields everywhere. Blue sky with the occasional cloud. Not particularly modern.

Oh, and a place where in the last month there have been seven missing persons reports.

The Sheriff was not happy at the moment.

"This is my case! I don't need you FBI snooping around!"

Olivia twitched. "Sheriff, you have seven missing persons. It has caught our attention. We need the files so we can begin our investigations."

"And just why should I give it to you? You have no jurisdiction here! And from what I know about your division, nothing freaky enough to attract your attention has happened!"

Peter shook his head. "What? You know about our division?"

"When two FBI agents say they are coming, I look them up. Can you blame me?"

"No, not really." Peter stared at the Sheriff. "Something freaky has happened hasn't it?"

"Well um… no…"

While Peter grilled the Sheriff, Olivia put a hand to her forehead. The noises in the foreground faded out, the quieter noises taking priority. The voices blurred into unrecognizable drones. She could hear her breathing. Her heartbeat. The wind lightly blowing through the window. A fly on the ceiling scratching its legs together.

"Fine I'll give you the files!"

The shouting startled Olivia out of the depths. She shook her head, bewildered. Peter looked concerned, but simply asked the Sheriff to go get the files. He turned to Olivia. "You okay?"

"Sure. I'm fine." She stumbled away on her cane, back towards the car.

Peter shrugged, and grabbed the file.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Shapeshifter who was not Charlie Francis walked into the lab. He stared at Lightning.

Lightning gestured towards "Charlie." "Who's this guy?"

Mulder grinned. "Ah, Agent Francis, meet Lightning! She's an alien."

"Mulder!" Scully quipped. "Do you have to go around telling everyone?"

"Well, I believe we tell Peter, Olivia, Broyles, Monica, Doggett, and Skinner and everyone we know is covered. To everyone else: Agent Faron, newcomer."

The Shapeshifter squinted his eyes, observing Lightning. He offered his hand to shake, putting on a mask of friendliness. "Carlie Francis, pleased to meet you. You want me to take you to our leader or something?"

"What?"

"Nevermind."

Scully's eyes widened. "Oh! I forgot to call Peter and Olivia!" She pulled out her phone and began dialing.

Before she finished, The Shapeshifter's phone rang, and he answered it. "Hello? Olivia?"

Mulder chuckled, before closing Scully's phone.

The Shapeshifter nodded. "Yeah I can do a check on all the disappeared people. Uh-huh. Oh, and you won't believe what we've got here. An alien apparently. Yeah, that's what they tell me. She looks human, but you can't read a book by it's cover. Yeah. Uh-huh. I'll get on it don't worry." He closed the phone. "Well, I've got to work on a case. You prepare Lightning to meet new people." He walked out to go find his office. He would question Lightning later. Then again, that wasn't his primary mission.

He needed to talk to his superiors.

Less than an hour later, he was at some downtown office supply store.

He walked right to the back, grabbing the key from the shop owner.

"Ya know you could be a little less rude!" He yelled.

The Shapeshifter sat down at the typewriter, and began typing his message.

TARGET BELIEVES ME TO BE AGENT CHARLIE FRANCIS.

SHE TRUSTS ME COMPLETELY.

AWAITING INSTRUCTIONS.

The reply came quickly.

GET INFORMATION OUT OF HER

GET WHAT SHE KNOWS

PLAY THE PART

He typed back.

THERE IS A COMPLICATION

A FEMALE ALIEN IS TALKING TO THEM

HER PURPOSE IS UNKNOWN

The reply came back even faster.

SHE IS SECONDARY

LEARN MORE IF POSSIBLE, BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE MISSION

GET BACK TO WORK. THEY MUST SUSPECT NOTHING

The Shapeshifter stood up, stumbled, then walked out of the store, tossing the key back to the shopkeeper.

"Um… are you guys going to keep up your end of the bargain?"

The Shapeshifter turned back. "Eventually." He said, out of breath.

The shopkeeper nodded. "Ookay…" He wheeled his wheelchair around, and got back to work.

The Shapeshifter straightened out, trying to appear normal again. He left.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Walter leapt up, said "goody!", and took the strange vial of blue "evidence" out of Olivia's hand. He quickly put it under a very large microscope, and muttered "interesting."

Olivia blinked. "Where's our alien?"

Lightning sighed, and raised a hand. "Present."

Olivia leaned in. "Why are you here?"

"Crashed. Dropped by out of curiosity. Something fried my systems, and one of your little groups has taken my ship. So i'm stuck here with just a handful of my nice technology. And I don't trust any of you."

Peter smirked. "I like her." He turned to Walter. "How you doing there?"

"Peter, I plan to urinate in precisely twenty-three minutes and I will need help unzipping my fly."

Everyone stared, speechless.

Peter recovered first. "Why?"

"Because I've just paralyzed my hand!" He said as he held up his hand, which was covered in the strange blue substance.

Scully raised her eyebrows. "A paralytic? Kidnapping?"

"Or Murder." Mulder added, in a dark tone.

Olivia nodded. "So they are being paralyzed by this blue substance, then kidnapped and or killed."

"Can we trace the substance?" Peter asked.

Walter shrugged. "Let me run a test."

Lightning looked at the Fringe team. "So… you're investigators?"

Peter chuckled. "Investigators of the strange and weird. It's why we have a mad scientist."

"I am not mad! Merely crazy!"

"Riiiiight. Whatever you say Walter."

Lightning shrugged.

Walter yelled. "Eureka! I found it!"

"What Walter?" Peter asked.

"My sock!" He said, holding up the purple piece of cloth.

Everyone groaned.

"And where the paralytic came from! It was produced by a male human biologically!"

Scully narrowed her eyes. "How is that possible? Humans don't produce toxins."

Peter squinted. "Mutants could, in theory."

"The chances of having a person with that mutation would be astronomical!"

Walter smirked. "We're all mutants miss Scully. And there's an astronomical number of humans. Chances are there are several with strange ones."

Scully shook her head, unbelieving.

Mulder cuckled. "This is how it always is…"

Scully gave him a death glare.

Olivia's phone rang. Charlie's voice came over. "I found a connection. A man named Andre Hughes was spotted at several of the disappearance scenes. It's a weak connection, but it's there."

"Okay. We'll check it out."

"By the way, Olivia… have you remembered anything yet?"

"No. Sorry. Nothing. Still just jumbles."

She could hear Charlie sigh. "Okay. Just… get better soon okay?"

Olivia harumphed. "Yeah… Bye." She hung up. "We've got a lead. Who's coming?"

Lightning raised her hand. "I'm curious."

Peter looked like he was about to object when Olivia held up her hand. "It'll be good to have someone to make up for my condition." It pained her to admit it, but she also wanted to get to know this 'alien' better and that was the best excuse available to her at the moment.

Peter opened his mouth to say something, shut it, then nodded reluctantly. "Fine. Come, I have some questions for you."

Lightning nodded, and off they went.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Pennsylvania again.

This time a large mansion-like house in the middle of the forest.

Peter knocked. "Hello? Mister Hughes?"

"Yeah?" He said, standing behind them. "Who are you and what are you doing at my house?"

Peter observed the man. He was middle-aged, had wild hair, was covered in dirt and grime, and appeared tired. He also wasn't very trusting at the moment.

Olivia produced her badge. "We're with the FBI. We're here to ask you a few questions.

Lightning noticed that Hughes twitched nervously. "Come right in. What do you want to know?"

As they walked in, Olivia heard some scratching. "Is anyone else in here?"

"No, of course not. I live by myself. Just an aging man alone in a big house…"

Lightning squinted. This man was hiding something.

Olivia strained to hear more. It seemed to be coming from upstairs. She motioned to Peter to keep Hughes busy with questions, and she headed up the stairs.

Lightning followed.

Olivia drew her gun. "I hear something…"

Lightning shook her head. "I got nothing." She drew her blade anyway, ready.

"What kind of weapon is that anyway?"

"Blazefire Sabre. Both a gun and a blade. Very useful."

"When is a blade more useful than a gun?"

"Not often, Having both at the same time, however, is good. Imagine someone trying to knock the gun out of your hands. You just turn the Blazefire a little to the left and they cut themselves. You don't need to aim a sword as much either.

Olivia whipped around. "Scratching noises. As if something's in the walls…"

Lightning tried hard. She was getting nothing. She wondered if Olivia was crazy, or just had good hearing.

"It sounds like… something snarling…" Olivia opened a door, finding a lab-like room. Various vials were littered around in a messy fashion. On one of the shelves were several vials of the blue paralytic.

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least that's something."

"Is he producing it himself?"

"Dunno. He's involved, at least." Lightning looked around. "Man this place is a mess."

Olivia whirled around, aiming her gun. "There is something around here with us…"

Then, she heard a whispering coming from Lightning's direction. She whirled her gun around. "How can you not hear that?"

"Oh I heard that one…" Lightning said, glancing at her leg pouch. She then proceeded to open up a closet, and punch through it with the butt of her blade. The back of the back of the closet gave way, revealing a tunnel.

Olivia leaned over, looking down into the tunnel. it was a three story drop. Considering they were only two stories above ground, that was impressive.

She moved forward, ready to go down, but Lightning stopped her. "You can barely walk." Then Lightning leapt down with ease, landing without so much as an "oomph."

Olivia grumbled, before closing the closet. Hopefully Lightning would find something. She turned to walk down the stairs, her cane thumping on the way down.

Hughes glared at her. "What were you doing up there?"

Olivia held up a blue vial. "We found this on a few of the disappearance locations. We're going to have to investigate further mister Hughes."

Hughes blinked. "What are you talking about? I use that in my experiments. I just dabble in-"

The three of them heard a thunk from under them.

Hughes slowly turned to Olivia. "Where's your friend?"

They heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire from beneath them.

Hughes turned white as a sheet. "Oh no…"

Peter grabbed Hughes by the collar. "You are going to tell us how to get down there and help her. Charges will be a lot more if you get someone killed here!"

Hughes nodded, pointing to the back door. "You can get in through the cellar. Behind the bookshelf."

Peter ran out. Olivia tried to keep up, but ended up stumbling. She sighed in frustration, flopping on the couch. "I guess I have to watch you."

Hughes harumphed. "A nearly-disabled cop watching me. How scary."

Olivia drew her gun, giving him an annoyed look.

Hughes raised his hands. "Alright alright! I'll stay!"

Meanwhile, Peter was travelling the tunnels. It was dark, and his flashlight was running low.

Occasionally, he'd hear Lightning's gun go off. He also heard loud shrieking and what sounded like thunder and electricity. He ran down the tunnels toward the noises, ignoring the damp areas around him. He really hoped he wasn't going to have a dead alien to deal with.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning cast thundaja, sparks flying from her fingers and attempting to hit the creature.

It had already got the blue stuff over her left leg and arm. Not very much, but enough to make the limbs nigh-useless. She wasn't going anywhere.

The thing looked human, that was sure. But it was hairless, dirty, shriveled, and completely naked. And its entire body was covered in that blue paralyzing liquid.

It was also dark in here, her lightning only giving off brief illumination. And it was way too cramped to use a fire spell. She was in a tight spot.

And cure wasn't having any effect on the paralyzed arm…

Where was Hope when you needed him…

The creature attacked again, only for it to get a faceful of lightning. The creature writhed, collapsing to the ground, electrocuted to death.

Lightning let out a breath. She waited a few moments before trying to stand up. Instead, she momentarily lifted herself up before flopping into a wall as if it was a comfy couch.

"Ow."

"That was graceful…" Peter muttered.

"Thank you for being on time hero."

"I try my best." Peter looked at the creature. "Well, I guess that's our kidnapper/murderer. Time to find out what Hughes has to do with that… thing."

"Can I use your leg?"

"What?"

"Mine isn't working."

"Oh. Climb on." Lightning leaned on Peter. He took out some rope and tied the creature up, being careful not to get the blue stuff on his hands. He then began to help Lightning out.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia heard it long before it came. A strange blorping noise. She aimed her gun to the left, waiting in anticipation.

Hughes turned his head. "What is it?"

"I heard something. Be quiet."

She looked out the door, into the next room. There was a vibrant potted plant, a couch, a chair, and a rug. Nothing unusual.

Something small scuttled across the rug, too fast to see. Olivia tensed. She had learned never to underestimate the small things.

She fired her gun when she saw it again. A loud 'PING!' resounded. It scuttled away.

Hughes shuddered. "You missed."

What Hughes didn't realize was that Olivia was 100% sure she had hit the thing. And that the bullet didn't even faze it.

"We need to move." Olivia said, pushing Hughes out of the house.

Out on the porch, a seven-legged bug leapt up and screamed in their faces. Hughes fainted and Olivia fell backwards, terrified.

The bug changed shape into that of a human man holding a butchers knife. But instead of attacking, he simply turned over his shoulder and yelled. "Yo! Got two of em!"

A man walked up to them. His was dressed in a tight cloak, heavy boots, and gloves. The only part of him that was visible was his face, which seemed friendly and vaguely middle-eastern. His forehead had an unusual marking that looked like a tilted seven with two dots on it.

Olivia noticed that the grass seemed to wilt as he walked over it.

He took one look at it and sighed. "These are not the ones we're looking for."

The butcher chuckled. "Oh well. At least I got a good scare right Cain?"

Cain smiled. "Yeah. Now let me question them. See if you can find any others."

"Righty-O!" The butcher shifted into a deer with razor sharp teeth, and pranced off.

Cain turned to Olivia. "Now… I don't want to hurt you, and I personally would like to get this over with quickly…" He gave her a sad smile. "I'm here for the alien."

Olivia glared. "I don't know what you're talking about." She slowly reached for her gun.

"I wouldn't shoot me if I was you. It'd end up badly. I personally don't want to kill anyone."

Olivia studied the man. He seemed like the odd sort to be doing what he was doing. Perhaps the nice face was just part of the cover, but he really did seem like he was concerned for her safety. She had also detected a slight annoyance in his voice when he mentioned 'the alien,' as if he didn't like what he was doing that much.

Why was she bothering, she wasn't going to say anything anyway.

She stopped trying to reach for her gun and gave Cain the "I'm not telling you anything" look.

Cain sighed. He took a radio out of his pocket. "Iris, tie them up."

A feminine hand appeared in the air in front of Olivia, picked up a rope, and began tying it around their hands.

Olivia didn't try to resist, she was studying the hand. It was definitely leaving fingerprints. Maybe they would be traced.

Cain, with an amused smile on his face, shook his head. "You won't find Iris' fingerprints anywhere. I know that won't stop you from trying but…" He leaned back. "Ah well, I better go find the others." He pulled out the radio again. "Jabberwock!"

A voice came over the radio. "I am not the Jabberwock! I am the Fear Sphere, the Shapeless Fear! I am-"

"Yeah Jabberwock. I need you to protect these two. Did you get anyone else?"

"Nope. Well, not humans. Deer are hilarious. Be there in a few." Minutes later, a two-headed raven landed in front of them, before turning into the butcher form again. "Hi there!"

Cain nodded. "Protect them. I don't want collateral damage."

"Of course not!"

Cain gave Jabberwock a sad look. "Be glad you've never been assigned to a mission with my brother…" He walked away, looking around.

Olivia turned to Jabberwock. "So… what are you?"

"Me? Oh I'm SCP-2006. I actually look like a silver metallic sphere, though that form is very boring. Can't talk, can barely move, etc. Lame. My job is to scare people and help on missions. Can't tell you what kind cuz, ya know, classified."

Olivia raised her eyebrow. This was an odd personality for a field agent. He was probably only here because of his ability. "Are you one of those shapeshifter aliens?"

"One of those? Gosh no! Those guys have no personality. Soooo lame… I haven't managed to even make one jump. I live for the REACTION."

A bullet hit Jabberwock in the arm. It shifted in appearance before reshaping. "Speaking of the lame-os, there they are." He changed into some mutant octopus creature, pulsating and gurgling, going in the direction of the bullet.

Then something more explosive hit Jabberwock, and he was sent flying backwards, losing all cohesion. He formed back into a metallic silver ball before turning into a raptor and running back.

Olivia attempted to pull the unconscious Hughes back into the house, but he was hit with a bullet as she tried. He was certainly dead now. Olivia got back into the house, and readied her gun. She aimed out the window.

Right now, she liked Cain's band of misfits more than shapeshifting aliens. She aimed for the shapeshifters, who looked exactly like Men in Black, preparing to cause annoyance.

She knew bullets would be nigh-useless. But maybe she'd get lucky and do damage to the neck base.

Then again, Mulder had said a sniper rifle hadn't done much…

She fired, hitting one of them in the neck. He didn't die, but he seemed to lose motor function to his left arm.

She smiled to herself, aiming once more.

Jabberwock kept getting blasted back with bigger and bigger weapons, taking longer and longer to recover. His quips were also lessening. He relied too much on fear to affect his enemies, he was useless against the aliens.

Olivia cursed. They were losing right now.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Cain heard the gunfire from the tunnels. He cursed. Great. _They_ were here. That meant Able was going to be called in very shortly. He had to get the alien out of here quickly, before the damage became too great.

He found them relatively easily, attempting to Stumble out of the caves.

Peter aimed his gun. Lightning tried to stand, and failed.

Cain sighed, he really didn't want to do this.. "I'm here for her." He pointed at Lightning. "Hand her over and nobody gets hurt."

He studied Lightning. She _appeared_ human. (then again so did many of his colleagues.) But there was an air about her, a feeling of something mystical. Something beyond.

He found his gaze flowing towards her leg pouch. He squinted at it.

Peter fired his gun, hitting Cain in the leg.

Cain winced. Not from pain, but because he knew what happened when people did that.

Cain didn't feel anything more than a slight impact from the bullet. Instead, it dug into Peter's leg. He yelled, crumpling to the ground. His vision went blurry.

Cain sighed. "Everything that is done to me is reflected back. I have yet to encounter anything that can actually hurt me."

Lightning squinted her eyes, struggling to stand. She tried to think of a way to deal with this guy.

Cain began to walk forward, hands outstretched. "You'll come with me to the foundation. I'll see to it that you are treated well. Who knows? Maybe, in time, you can join our strike force. But right now I have to take you in and there's a lot of angry people out there who want you dead."

Lightning tensed. "I'm going with neither of you."

Cain sighed. "You can't do anything to me. Anything that would harm me is reflected."

"Oh yeah?" A voice coming from Lightning's leg pouch retorted. "Oh, one of rebound, I have something for you."

Lightning tensed. "Lyre-"

"Do you want to get out of here or not?" Lyre said, accusing.

Cain stopped standing and rushed forward. He sensed power in that pouch, possibly Keter level. He did not want to test his abilities against another power.

But he was too late. A chain of light shot out and hit him in the forehead, above his mark. There was no pain. Just a surge of information. It would damage most human minds, but he wasn't entirely human. He stored it all. He felt the power flow into him.

He was given a Focus. Protect Lightning.

The chain of light stopped, leaving a black mark. Cain blinked. "Um…"

Lightning smiled at him. "Here's the deal: you have been given a focus. Something along the lines of 'protect me.' You have been given much power with which to do that. But if you ignore your focus, you will turn into a Cie'th, a monster who can scarcely move. Now, I don't think being a Cie'th is inherently painful, but it sure sucks."

Cain squinted his eyes. She's lying. There's a way around the Focus, and she knows it. But she's not going to tell me.

Cain stood back pondering. "Well, lucky me I happen to realize that taking you to the Foundation still protects you. I'll make sure they won't harm you, after all. You or your… thing in your pouch." He smiled. "Come on. Don't make this difficult."

Lightning cursed. "Go to H***"

Cain gave her a sad smile. He put his right foot forward, ready to take her.

Then he was tripped by Peter, collapsing on the ground. Peter got several smacks on his face from seemingly nothing, but he proceeded to throw himself on top of Cain, keeping him on the ground. Cain attempted to push Peter off, but Lightning put her foot on Cain as well.

"You may not be able to be hurt, but you can be moved. Or kept still." Lightning smiled.

Cain sighed, before giving off a light chuckle. "Well, I've been beaten. This doesn't happen often. Bit of an odd situation if you ask me."

Peter looked up at Lightning. "Hey… you moved your leg."

"Still numb as an icicle, but I can move it. Got anything we can tie this guy up with?"

Peter produced some handcuffs. He grunted in pain as pain shot through his leg.

Cain was quickly cuffed to a rock formation, and the two disabled people limped out of the caverns.

Cain sighed, and decided to wait it out. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter and Lightning crawled out into a firefight. A dark creature that looked like it was from a horror movie was gunned down before it stood back up, this time looking like a bird with razor sharp teeth.

Peter winced. They were obviously surrounded. There was nothing they could do.

Lightning, however, seemed to have other ideas. Still wobbly from the paralytic, she stumbled out into the open.

"LIGHTNING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Olivia had similar questions when she saw the woman through the window.

Lightning put her hand to her chest. "Odin." She whispered, before drawing a pink crystal seemingly from her chest. She sliced it with her sword, and it exploded in a pink floral crystal pattern. From the center of the shining crystals emerged a towering man-like being. He was twice as tall as lightning, and apparently was wearing heavy white armor covered in engravings. In one hand was a large shield, in the other was a tremendous blade. The face showed no emotion. He seemed partly mechanical.

Lightning gestured at the alien shapeshifters. The Eidolon Odin simply nodded, before charging with electricity and slicing several of them in half. He then melted their bodies using lightning bolts.

No-one really knew what the regeneration limit of the shapeshifters was. What everyone did know that it would take quite a while for them to regenerate from that state, if they could. Effectively incapacitated.

Lightning smirked. Bet they were surprised by that.

The shapeshifters launched some rockets, only to have Odin deflect them.

Jabberwock whooped, before transforming into Odin himself. "This form is nice and intimidating…"

Odin ignored Jabberwock at the moment, taking care of the remaining shapeshifters.

There was silence. It seemed like it was over.

Olivia and Peter came out of hiding. "Nice trick." Peter commented. "I'd like an explanation later."

"Let's just get out of here." Lightning said.

"Agreed."

Just as they were about to pack up and leave, they heard the roar of a man. They turned to see a middle-eastern man covered in demonic tattoos. He pulled a blade out of thin air, preparing to strike.

Odin deflected the blow with his shield, retaliating with a blast of lightning. The man dodged out of the way, before producing a tremendous hammer and bashing Odin on the head with it. He then rushed forth, readying as spear. Odin deflected the spear, kicking the man in the chest and sending him flying. He sent out a pulse of lightning, which the man avoided by throwing a cleaver at the bolt, absorbing the shock. He landed on the ground, uprooted a tree, and threw it at Odin, who merely cut it in half.

The man roared in even further outrage, rushing forth again, grabbing dual swords.

He prepared to cut right through Odin, prepared for the shield, the sword, and his physical bulk. This attack was going to land.

He did not take into account the other people around him.

Lightning fired a stream of bullets right into the man's head, slaying him.

In a manner of seconds, he turned to dust.

Odin stood up, victorious. Lightning gave him a signal, which caused him to leap into the air, twist his waist around 180°, and turn into a four-eyed horse.

Peter and Olivia blinked as Lightning leapt onto the Odin-horse, grabbing his weapon, splitting it in half, wielding a half in each hand. "Get on! We need to move!"

Olivia and Peter didn't argue. They climbed onto Odin, and they galloped off.

Jabberwock waved. "Have fun!"

Minutes later, he would realize that Lightning was the alien he was supposed to capture. He facepalmed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Back at the lab, the first sentence spoken was:

"Okay WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?"

Lightning sighed before reaching into her pack and taking out Lyre.

"Um… Hi beings of the… oh forget about it HELLO agents of the weird."

Mulder blinked. "You…. are artificial?"

"Yes. Well. Sorta. Kinda complicated."

"He's a fal'cie. He is a machine imposed over a crystal."

"Bingo! We were created alongside humans in our universe."

Mulder sighed. So she had been lying. Well, what did he expect?

Lightning continued. "Fal'cie started out as machines with intelligence designed with a purpose in mind by their god. They soon began to take on properties of sentience after creating human servants for themselves, known as l'cie. These servants are given the powers of the crystals and given a job, or a Focus. The fal'cie in return get a servant and a sense of the human essence. The fal'cie eventually became their own race, becoming like gods to the humans. Recently we've rebelled against them. Fought a war. We won, but there are still a few of them left around."

"Mistress of demise! You forgot to mention that you DESTROYED the MAKER!"

"I had nothing to do with that! It just happened!"

"Oh and it just HAPPENS that after you create your new civilization SIX DAYS AGO the instruments that try to contact the Maker stop doing ANYTHING?"

"Why you little-"

Peter held up a hand. "Stop FIGHTING! Yeesh! You're both here together! Get used to it!"

Walter grinned. "You're so funny when you get mad."

"Not now Walter."

"See?"

"So…" Olivia said. "Odin is a l'cie ability?"

Lightning nodded. "My personal summon."

"Ah. Gotcha."

Mulder looked Lightning in the eye. "What else have you been hiding?"

Lightning sighed, before taking out the pad. "Unlock Earth-related information, passcode 34654." She turned to them. "I'm probably not allowed to show you this but you need to know."

Mulder looked at the new section on Earth. It was much larger.

"Earth, Midgard, the birthplace of humanity. Earth is home of the Tau'ri, one of the most advanced races of humans known. The planet is divided into countries, although several dozen of them are secretly working together to get the Tau'ri into a position of power within the galaxy. They travel mainly by stargate, going to other worlds and making contact with the peoples, usually peacefully. Recently, their efforts have resulted in the United States of America building the planet's first capable spaceship, the Prometheus. Russia and China are not far behind in building their own ships, the US has plans to build another in a few months, and several are being given as a gift by the Hoseki sometime within the month. The Tau'ri are part of the recent interdimensional Alliance, and provided contact with most of the current members. They and the Alliance are currently at war with the Goa'Uld system lord Anubis, (and possibly other Goa'Uld). The Tau'ri have plans to inform the public after the war is over. Even though it's populace have no clue what they are doing, Earth is a major player in galactic and now transdimensional and intergalactic affairs."

Mulder blinked. "Well… I always the government was being secretive about contact with aliens, but I always thought they were trying to conquer us…"

Scully shook her head. "One of them is. The Greys. See if you can find them."

Now that the information was open, there was now a connection.

"Did you mean: Asgard" appeared. Mulder selected it.

"The Asgard are a short, grey alien race made up entirely of clones. Thier race is one of the oldest in the galaxy, one of the original five races created by the Creators. They make the Ida galaxy their home, and are one of the only races there because of the Replicator wars. Thier technology level is the highest of any known race, exceeding that of the Hoseki. However, their numbers are limited, so they are often unable to do anything. This is why the Goa'uld have reigned for so long. They have recently joined the new Alliance, and are providing at least some assistance in the war."

Mulder scratched his chin. "This doesn't sound like them…"

"Remember." Scully said, "They are very good at being deceptive."

Lightning shrugged. "I have no idea. I only arrived in this universe less than a week ago. My ship, controlled by LYRE here, was shot across dimensions for some reason. I travelled for a while with a Commander Shepard, saved a galaxy from robotic invasion, then got launched again to this galaxy. According to this, my world, Gran Pulse, is located where Earth is in my universe. However, it isn't in any of the universes catalogued so far."

Peter looked up. "You just want to get home."

"Yes." Lightning said, nervous. They were probably going to get rid of her now.

Walter clapped his hands. "Well we'll just have to help you find out how to get there!"

Peter nodded. "Of course. You're one of us now. You saved our lives. We owe you."

Lightning blinked, surprised. "But… I'm hunted. I can't stay with you-"

Mulder smiled. "I can find a way to let you be able to work here and have no-one know you are you. But we do need to hide you for now. Scully, put her in the trunk and drive to the storage shed. Take Peter with you, it's about time we showed them the shed."

Scully nodded, motioning to Peter.

"Now… I have to make a call."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Assistant-director Walter Skinner was a bald old man who had seen a lot. He had witnessed countless people die, be brutalized, and had even seen several things of the unexplained. Right now he was dealing with something that outclassed most of those incidents. He did not want to answer the phone right now. But it was Mulder. And Mulder generally only called when he needed to.

He answered. "Assistant-director Skinner."

"Is the line secure?"

"Yes, Mulder, I always secure the line when you call. What do you need?"

"Okay, do we have any female agents that died recently?"

Skinner blinked. "Um… why?"

"I have a woman here who is being hunted yet will be EXTREMELY useful. We just need to give her a new identity and a new look. So… anyone we can say miraculously came back from the dead?"

Skinner was silent. This coincidence was downright scary.

"What?"

"Mulder, Monica's dead. She was shot earlier today. Only a few agents and myself know about it"

It was Mulder's turn to be silent. When he started, it was unsure. "Well, we'll need to make sure no-one thinks… then we'll need… then…."

"I'll get to it Mulder. Much as I hate to say it this is perfect timing."

Mulder shuddered. "Are we really going to-"

"You were about to ask me to pretend a random agent wasn't dead. Why should she be any different?" Skinner asked, playing devil's advocate. "In fact, she's probably the best candidate for this."

Mulder sighed. "This is not going to go over well…"

"But it will work. I'll send an agent over with Monica's IDs. She'll be there tomorrow. I hope your friend looks like her."

"We can pull it off."

"And Mulder?"

"Yes?"

"Don't beat yourself up. People die for random reasons. It isn't your fault."

"Yeah… how's Doggett taking it?"

"Pretty well, considering. You want him to come over as well?"  
"No. We need someone to cover the X-files from that end. While we have more funding here, we are also in the middle of dealing with other things."

"Understood. Everything will be send over soon. Good luck, Mulder."

Mulder hung up, taking a moment.

Monica was dead at the perfect time.

That was extremely unnerving. Almost as if it was intentional.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Smoking Man stood over the body of Agent Monica Reyes.

He seriously hoped Mulder never figured out he had anything to do with this. That would not be good.

But you had to do terrible things in this line of work.

The smoking man put out his cigarette, then vanished.

There would be no trace of him except two shoeprints in the ground. Two shoeprints that matched her partner's shoes almost perfectly.

He would get away with it again. He would get away with much more before this was over.

He'd have to.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia stood in front of a bowling alley.

 _Nina said, "This is the man who got me back on my feet after my illness. You look like you need a little bit of help."_

Olivia shook her head. "Sam Weiss, you better be able to help me." She walked forward, steadying herself with her cane. She walked into the bowling alley.

The place was deserted. The lights were on, but nobody was there. Olivia walked in, and looked around.

An employee walked up to her. "The bowling alley will be closing soon." He said.

She looked at him. "Hey, I'm here looking for a Sam Weiss. I was told he could help me."

"Ah sorry. Sam met a girl and moved recently. Dunno where he is."

"Ah. Sorry to bother you." She began to trump out.

"You going to give up that easily?"

"What?" Olivia said, momentarily confused. Then realization dawned. "You're Sam Weiss."

"The one and only. Care to join me for a game?"

"The alley's closing soon."

"I pretty much run the place. It's fine." He handed her some bowling shoes. "Come."

Minutes later, he spoke again. "Have the headaches started yet?"

"No?"

"They will." He said, somewhat ominously.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Scully, Lightning, and Peter had changed cars several times. Night was falling.

Scully led Lightning and Peter into the warehouse. It seemed largely empty, with only a few boxes from place to place. She lifted up one box, prying up a floor tile, revealing another area. She motioned to them, climbing down into a damp area. The basement was a room with a table, a light, a radio, and tons of boxes with folders. Also, there was a computer in the corner.

"Nice." Peter said.

"This isn't it." Scully responded.

"What?"

"This is just what we want people to think it is." She pried a tile off the wall, revealing a safe. She opened the safe with a 12-number code, 112365365321. The safe opened up to reveal stacks of money. Scully reached into the back, pressed an invisible button, and a loud thunk could be heard from across the room. She walked over to a stack of boxes, pulling them off to the side, revealing a ladder.

In the second basement, which was the true warehouse, there was much more. Papers tacked to walls, connected with strings and wires. Models of UFOs. More files. Several computers. It somehow seemed clean and yet disorganized at the same time. The space was large. Not as large as the warehouse above them, but it was still big.

"There are several rooms off to the side too. We have this place in case the Greys, or Asgard, succeed in colonizing the Earth. This is a bunker."

Peter blinked. "I'm impressed."

"We'll keep Lightning here until we can get her an ID."

Lightning nodded. "I'll see if I can download the pad's info into these computers…"

Scully smiled. "We've got a ton of memory space. Mulder's been preparing for an apocalypse."

Peter smiled. "2012? Apocalypse? Funny."

Scully looked at him. "That's not a joke. We've got a date that says the day of colonization is December this year."

Peter stared at her blankly.

Oh boy.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The two men sat in the room, discussing.

"Omega-7 defeated. Interesting."

"They were against the Organization and an alien with unknown abilities."

"Still. This is pretty much a first. They weren't defeated because they were bickering or being unprofessional. They were just bested. They even managed to get through Cain's ability."

"I suspect the only reason it worked was because it couldn't be reflected back. The mark is probably keyed directly to human physiology."

"He is still on our side, he says he can serve us and follow the Focus if we agree not to harm this… Lightning."

"Of course. We can't afford to lose him now. Though this will be for naught if we can't find her."

"Sources say she returned to the lab. She's not there now. They've probably hidden her away. Several calls have also been made. All were protected, but the end result is that one agent Monica Reyes will be coming to assist them in their 'investigations.'"

"They'll be protecting her. We just have to watch them."

"The Organization will be watching as well."

"As will the others."

"Ah yes. The others. Never forget about them…"

"I'll go prepare Omega-7 for more missions."

"Of course."

The two men nodded to each other before leaving.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Shapeshifter who looked like Charlie Francis typed on the typewriter.

TARGET VISITED OTHER SIDE

BUT REMEMBERS NO DETAILS

PLEASE ADVISE

The reply came after a few moments.

UNACCEPTABLE

IF SHE CAN'T REMEMBER ON HER OWN

THEN DO SOMETHING TO HELP HER

The Shapeshifter typed back.

OF COURSE

THE TEAM IS PROTECTING THE ALIEN FROM SECRET ORGANIZATIONS

THEIR PURPOSE IS UNKNOWN

THEY HAVE ACCESS TO RESOURCES WE DID NOT BELIEVE THIS SIDE HAD

The reply came back quickly.

TELL US ALL YOU KNOW

The Shapeshifter cracked his knuckles. This would take a while.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

LOOXPLQDWL

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: so yeah. A few years ago I tried to get onto the SCP forum. Didn't happen. Dunno why, maybe I did the email wrong, but I have always had a desire to write for them. Now i'm like: Fanfiction…. you know what YEAH! let's do that! BWAHAHAHHA! and I can change it if I want as well cuz of FF Rules… :3**

 **Anyway the SCP forum is an online collection of creepypasta stories in the form of documents held by the SCP Foundation. I recommend looking it up, lots of the objects are very unique and unusual. While you're there, you may try to look up the characters mentioned in this chapter. You may find a few of them :3**

 **Just keep in mind that anyone who reads a lot of SCP will know something is off. I'm not saying what, as to keep those who don't know in the dark, but rest assured it's intentional. So no whining.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoy! Review! Follow! Favorite! Share with friends! We're just getting started folks!**

 **TD: also, wait… na… idk bye X3 BACK TO ADVENture…. maybe… custard anyone?**


	8. January 7: Monica

**GM: Well whoop-de-do we got the shortest episode so far! Aha! I had no idea where I was going with this one when I started. At all. It kinda took on a life of it's own.**

 **Also, this was published on a Saturday. Go figure.**

 **Anyway, READ and ENJOY. Not much to say right now….**

Saturday, January 7: Monica

Snip!

 _Well, there goes my hair…_ Lightning thought, watching the strands fall.

Lightning was sitting in a chair in the bunker, having herself remade in the image of Monica Reyes. It hadn't taken too much to make their faces match. Clothing hadn't been a problem. However, bright amethyst hair did tend to stand out, and apparently Monica wasn't the type to dye her hair. There was also the problem with that kind of hair drawing attention, which was exactly what she didn't want.

Peter was the one doing the haircut. He truly was a jack-of-all-trades.

"And a snip here and… viola! Short black hair!"

Lightning looked in the handheld mirror. Her face twitched. "I look… old."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Middle aged."

"Still old." She grunted. "So, Monica Reyes. My new name. It sounds like a floral shop."

"Huh. I was thinking old painting with laser eyes."

Lightning blinked, having no clue where that came from. She sighed. "Well, I better get those IDs and such…"

Peter handed her Monica's FBI badge and gun.

Lyre called over from the table. "Agent of rays! Welcome to our little world underground!"

Lightning rolled her eyes as she loaded the gun. "Well… anything I need to know about Monica?"

Peter shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure. You should ask them." He gestured at Scully and Mulder. "They knew her."

Lyre let out an alarm noise. "I wouldn't recommend that one of middle-age."

"Okay, you know what Lyre?" Lightning said with Malice. "Stop calling me by titles and start using my name!"

"Of course, oh Monica of Reyes." He then went back to surfing the internet using a connection cable Walter had cooked up. He had recently made the discovery that cats were absolutely hilarious.

Lightning walked off in a huff, and walked up to Mulder. She quickly softened her expression. "Hey… I know this is probably a bad time but I need to know what she was like."

Mulder glanced over at Scully and sighed. "Well she knew spanish and majored in religious studies. So you'll slowly have to learn about that. You already have the skills required to be an agent… And…"

"I mean what was she LIKE?"

Mulder was silent, staring at the ground. "She… was even more of a believer than I was in the strange and unusual. She thought every legend had truth in it. She took things spiritually, mystically, and even a tad crazily at times. She somehow managed to be serious at times and completely carefree at others. She kinda had to, seeing as she dealt with crazy cults for her job…"

Lightning nodded, working this in her mind.

Scully offered more. "She was strong. Exceptionally so. Nothing seemed to shake her, not really. Even the weirdness."

Lightning smiled at her. "Won't have a problem with that. Thank you."

As she walked off, Mulder muttered. "Thank you."

Scully sighed. "I suppose it was only a matter of time until-"

"Don't go there Scully. I don't care if it's true or not. Don't lessen it to something less than it is. She was important. And now she's gone."

The two went silent. Monica was gone. Shot by some random guy on the street who was insane. He kept blabbering about smoke when he was taken into custody, and then he killed himself. He had somehow managed to suffocate himself by attempting to eat his pillow.

Mulder looked up at Lightning. She looked strikingly similar now. Unless someone had known Monica personally in recent years, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Skinner would update the facial recognition software later today. For all intents and purposes, Monica would have been replaced.

Lightning knew this as well. She was tired of replacing people.

She broke the silence. "Well, I suppose I should start reading up on Spanish and Religious Studies then…"

Peter held up his hands. "No no. It's saturday. We don't WORK on saturday. Saturday is a day off unless something weird happens. We need to go out and introduce you to this thing called fun."

Lightning groaned.

Peter grinned. "I say we go to an amusement park."

Lyre piqued up. "That actually does sound fun, mistress of Odin. Lots of exciting things to do at an amusement park!"

Mulder blinked. "It's 8AM. I guess we can go have an all day affair…"

Lightning shrugged, realizing they would probably suggest something worse if she refused. "Why not."

Mulder ripped out his phone. "I'll call the others…"

Lyre beeped. "I'll continue surfing the internet. PLUG ME INTO MORE COMPUTERS BEFORE YOU LEAVE!"

Peter plugged Lyre in a few more places. "There you go. Have fun and prosper little star."

"I am not a star."

"Lightning is not a mistress of destruction."

"Touche."

And with that, all the humans left the Bunker, leaving Lyre to his precious internet.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

" _And I pronounce you… man and wife!"_

 _Lightning smiled. Just a few weeks ago she had envisioned her sister's marriage with horror. Now, she was happy for them. Serah seemed beyond happy as well. Lightning was surprised she hadn't fainted yet._

" _Oh yeah!" Snow said, pumping his fist. "Everyone! TIME FOR AN EPIC HERO'S PARTY!"_

 _Lightning chuckled. Leave it to Snow to pump his fist and cause a riot._

 _She didn't notice Hope sit down next to her._

" _I don't believe I've ever said thank you."_

 _Lightning turned her head towards the boy, blinking. "What for?"_

" _For being there when my mother wasn't."_

 _Lightning shook her head. "I can never replace your mother."_

 _Hope gave a sad smile. "No… not replace. But you filled the hole just the same. I never thanked you for that."_

 _I replaced her alright, Lightning thought. "You didn't and you don't need to. I just-"_

" _You saw me in pain and took me under your wing despite your better judgement. I'd say that counts as something to say thanks for."_

 _Lightning was speechless. "Well… you're welcome then."_

 _Hope smiled. He looked like he was about to say something when the newlyweds sat down at the table, talking louder than a foghorn._

 _The conversation was forgotten for the moment._

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"It… Kinda looks like Nautilus. Sorta." Lightning remarked, remembering the amusement park back home. "Prizes, rides, exotic animals…" She did not mention that she had never been there outside of business. Entertainment was not something she generally did.

Walter grinned. "I'm going to find all the corn dogs I can and see which one has the most pig feet in it!"

Peter groaned. "Walter that's disgusting."

"Actually…" Mulder cut in. "There's a large chance there are pig feet in the corn dogs."

Scully rolled her eyes. "Yeah right."

"It's true!"

Lightning was staring at them with a look of utter disbelief on her face. What on earth WERE corn dogs?

She decided not to comment on it.

Walter ran up to a cotton candy stand. "Candy floss! It's been so long my delicious sugary treat!" He bought five sticks right there.

Lightning looked around at the various concession stands. The assortment of weird people was staggering. For instance, there was a bald guy wearing goggles and a grey jumpsuit with some kind of tape measure on his belt.

Peter grabbed Lightning. "Come on, let's get on the vomitizer!"

"The WHAT?"

Peter led her to a tremendous, towering ride painted an ugly green. At least Lightning hoped that was paint. She watched as the compartment was lifted into the air at high speed, whirled around at a speed that would make astronaut's queasy, and then DROPPED.

Walter blinked. "I must say this looks much more… violent than I remember…"

"The way of the next generation Walter. Come on. There's room in that compartment there."

Lightning enjoyed the ride, despite herself. It was a thrill. Why on earth didn't she go to any of these in Nautilus?

Walter was pleasantly surprised to discover that he liked it as well. "Exhilerating!" he said upon leaving the compartment.

The other three agents, however, ran out of the compartment at high speed, hoping to keep their breakfast in. Lightning chuckled, now THAT was funny.

"Just clench your glutes! That always seems to make me want to let it out the other way!" Walter yelled.

Peter gagged. "URP! Thanks for that image- URP- Walter…"

"You're welcome Peter. Custard?"

"NO."

After a twenty-minute recovery, the three agents were back on their feet, if a tad grumpy. Lightning and Walter were walking around with smiles on their faces.

Then they heard a voice yell out over the crowd.

"Step right up and have a good look at a raptor! That's right! on loan from Jurassic World for today only!"

Lightning observed the salesman who was yelling at them. He was in a strange red jumpsuit and had an aloof look on his face. On the left of the suit was a curved chevron emblem. Next to him was a raptor with distinctive orange markings. It seemed hungry.

"Hey… Shouldn't you have that thing restrained?" Peter asked.

The man simply smiled. "I'm all the restraint he needs. He won't hurt anyone."

The raptor growled in rage. Scully took a step back.

"Anyway, I am known as Mr. Q. Man of mystery and power here in the fair." With a glint in his eyes, he continued. "Come with me and I will show you a world of amazement and wonder!"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Um yeah I'll pass-"

Mr Q snapped his fingers, and a red and black striped tent appeared in a flash of white. He grinned.

Scully's mouth hung open in disbelief. "How did you do that?"

"Magic!"

"Magic doesn-" Then Scully looked at Lightning, and thought about many of her cases. "Um… that's obviously a trick of some kind."

"A good magician never reveals his secrets." Mr Q grinned. "And now, there are five of you yes?"

"Um… we still didn't agree to anything-"

With a flash of light, they were inside the tent.

Walter grinned. "How wonderful!"

Peter glared. "You know you're harassing us-"

Mr Q made a piece of paper appear out of nowhere. He began to read from it. "Clause 5, anyone who works at the park and has an act may take people out of the audience whenever he or she wishes." He put the paper away. "Now, since you were looking at Rampy here, you are considered part of the audience. Now come. We're going to have such fun, Petey."

"It's Peter."

"Of course, Petey."

Peter resisted the urge to punch the man.

Lightning twitched. "Mr Q, I'm very irked right now. I'm this close to dismembering you. I was actually having a rather nice time, and you've oh-so-quickly squelched it like a bug."

"Just call me Q please. And trust me when I say it's currently physically impossible for me to be dismembered, disemboweled, or any other mutilation word that starts with d."

Q turned to look Lightning in the eye. "You want to try Sparky?"

"Sparky?" Lightning said, concerned. That was awfully close to her actual name.

"Oh for the- you're full of spice and rebellion. Sparky. It's DESCRIPTIVE people!"

Walter grinned. "Oh how about we call her Electromagnetic Force, or Magnen for short?"

"NO." Lightning said, fixing Walter with a death glare.

"Hrm… what about-"

"WE do NOT need to come up with more nicknames for me!"

"Grumpy the not-dwarf." Q said.

Lightning whirled to punch Q in the face. Instead, she hit a stack of doves. "What?"

Q's amused laughter filled the tent as the birds flew off. (Okay so they hit the roof of the tent and got confused, but it still counts.) Q's laughter subsided, and he yelled out in his announcer's voice: "Oh this will be fun! WELCOME to Q's tent of Quintessential Quandry's!"

Then Q vanished, and so did the tent. They were standing in an empty space of the amusement park. Rampy was sleeping a few meters away. Several children were gathered around, using a very long stick to poke him.

Peter yelled. "Kids! Don't mess with that thing!" The children ignored him. Peter sighed and began to run up to them, trying to get their attention. They ran away as he got close, somehow managing not to wake up Rampy. Peter shrugged, and turned to everyone else.

Or, rather, he didn't. Because everyone else was gone. In place of where his four companions once stood was a cake with a note on it. He walked up to the cake and took off the note.

Take care of Rampy for me will ya?

He needs to be fed twice daily with deer meat or he gets… antsy.

I'll be back with everyone else eventually.

I just need to know them a bit better.

-Q

Peter crumpled up the note in anger. Q had taken them. Why or how was what he was going to find out.

Rampy came up and nuzzled him. It was all Peter could do to not freak out. There was a raptor right next to him that could get hungry at any moment.

Peter carefully took out his phone. "Broyles? We've got a problem."

"Where?"

"At the amusement park. Some guy who calls himself Mister Q has… I'm not sure if taken is the right word or not…"

"Well?"

"Walter, Mulder, Scully and L- Monica are missing. And he left me a note. I'll need some agents and a team. Also, some deer meat."

"Deer meat?" Broyles asked, confused.

"Just get it. It's best if I don't have to explain."  
"Understood." Broyles hung up.

Peter went back to mostly not freaking out. Rampy was just enjoying a nice snuggle. The sounds of comfort he was emitting were, of course, deep growls. Such is the way with raptors.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Scully, Mulder, Lightning, and Walter watched as Peter, and all other living humans around them, just vanished. The park became deserted. The three agents drew their guns, and Walter simply muttered "Curious…"

A tumbleweed blew across the abandoned area.

Mulder looked around. "So… SCULLY! rational explanation!"

Scully opened her mouth, shut it, opened it, shut it again, then shrugged. "Alien abduction?"

Mulder grinned. "Well now I can rule that out." Scully didn't even bother giving him an offended look. "Let's see… all the people vanish, the park becomes abandoned…" He looked around. Aside from the lack of people, everything seemed to be functioning normally. The rollercoaster was still going, as was the ferris wheel, and all the cooking machines strewn everywhere were still producing their odd varieties of food.

Walter was at one of these machines, sharing some corn dogs with Lightning.

"These are pretty good…" she was saying. "What are they?"

"Corn dogs."

Lighting took a spit-take and considered driving a random eating utensil into Walter.

Mulder took out a pencil, and threw it into the air. It came back down on Scully's head. "Hrm…" He mumbled.

Scully scratched her head. "Ow. What was that for?"

"I have an idea but I'm not sure yet… Lemme try that booth." Mulder said, pointing at a baseball throwing booth. He grabbed the ball, reeled back, and threw the baseball at a stack of bottles.

The ball missed completely, bounced around in a complicated manner, and then smacked Scully in the face.

"AUGH! My eye!"

There are some events which, when they happen, send chills through the minds of people far and wide. This such event was felt by two different girls named Wendy, a time traveler who happened to be eating a corn dog at the moment and ended up spitting it out, a boy with a pine-tree baseball cap, and a certain demon.

Scully would have felt it too, had the baseball not, you know, HIT HER EYE. The pain kinda cancelled out any chills she may have gotten.

Mulder was in a constant state of thinking right now. He threw another ball. This one hit HIM in the eye.

Scully blinked. "What, does the universe hate us today or something?"

"It's almost like it gained a sense of humor…" Mulder muttered, moving on.

Meanwhile Walter had managed to taste just about every food within a mile vicinity. (lots of the stands were duplicated.) "I would expect someone to have a stash…"

Lightning facepalmed. "Really walter? Drugs? Why?"

"Why not?"

Lightning found herself unable to answer this question.

Walter ate a fried cheese stick. "Wow. I'm amazed at how many things have been fried. Mister Mulder! Did you know they also fried BUTTER?"

Mulder was ignoring him. He was vigorously chewing the back of his pencil.

Somehow, the pencil shattered in his mouth giving him a tongue splinter.

"OKAY! I'm sure now! We're just being toyed with! I think that Mr Q has a need to play with his victims."

Scully pondered this. "So, assuming that Mr Q is somehow able to pull something like this off, which I severely doubt, what would his purpose be?"

"Entertain himself first, then get down to whatever he wants. I think that perhaps he'll escalate his antics first, until he gets bored."

Scully's eyes widened. "We could hurry him along by refusing to play!"

"Bingo!"

And with that, Scully and Mulder sat down, and proceeded to do nothing.

Walter and Lightning did not get the message.

"Fried crickets? How wonderful! I should take these back for analysis. I wish I brought the bone saw…"

Lightning sighed. "That's it. I'm out of here. I'm just going to WALK out of this place. GOODBYE." She turned a full 180 and marched off.

Walter shrugged, and began to collect more food items. One of them grew a face and said "Hi!"

"Oh," Walter said, unimpressed. "Talking fried chicken. Hrm... " He then decided it wasn't worth investigating.

"HEY! I'm talking fried chicken! PAY ATTENTION! Freak out or at least be INTERESTED G*******."

Walter ignored the fried poultry and continued to investigate the fried vegetables table. He investigated each one carefully.

One of them grew legs and crawled up his arms. Walter dismissed it. Another kept jumping in front of his face, Walter swatted it away.

After five more minutes of things of that nature, Q appeared in his signature flash of white light. He was not amused. "D***** old man! REACT!"

"Sorry. You just weren't trying hard enough."

"I sent a naked man with a horse mask after you. He was doing the cha-cha. That wasn't trying hard enough?"

"Son, I've seen things you wouldn't believe. What you've shown me generally equates to what I see while tripping. In other words, nothing. Oh look fried pizza!"

Q was not one to be stunned speechless. However, there are always exceptions. This was one of those times. No small part of it was Walter calling him "son."

Q eventually recovered, then, in a huff, he vanished.

Walter continued along the foodstuffs.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"I tell you that man doesn't work here!"

Peter slammed his fist on the desk. "He had a RAPTOR!"

The ringmaster shook his head. "I have no Mr Q in the park, nor have I seen the man you describe. Ever. In my life."

Peter growled. He would have punched the man, but he unfortunately seemed to be telling the truth. He turned around, and walked away.

After he left the ringmaster's tent, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"1-800-gravestones anonymous, what is your reason for calling?"

"You called me."

"I'm not Spanish, miss, I run a phone line. What is your reason for calling?"

Peter's first thought was _What the freaking fudge?_ His second was _I know that voice!_

"Q! What are you doing? Where are they?"

"Oh, I dunno, perhaps I'm eating a churro while sitting on a beach completely bored out of my skull."

"I could care less about your personal boredom."

"You're hopes are noted, and recorded in my big universal book of crushed dreams."

 _What the heck is wrong with this guy?_ "Cut the crap. What have you done with them?"

"Don't worry, they're safe. I just needed to get a closer look, that's all. The personnel will be returned shortly."

Peter growled. "Why are you calling then?"

"They aren't playing fair. I need some entertainment. Kapeesh? Oh and I'm making this call from the cellphone you usually keep in your boot."

In a flash of white light, Peter's secret cellphone appeared on the ground in front of him. On the screen was printed: ":)"

Peter stared at it in disbelief. This was weird, even for him. Also infuriating to an extreme degree.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning was walking through a house of mirrors.

How she had gotten in, and where she was going, were completely unknown to her.

She was just THERE. Seeing reflections of herself.

There was one of her as a child. One of her in her guardian corps uniform. One which looked like Monica Reyes. She recognized these looks.

What bothered her were the looks she didn't recognize. Her in some strange black jumpsuit. Her with an artificial leg. One where she was wearing some kind of weird armor and holding an engraved shield. One where she was in her regular guardian corps uniform but there was a W symbol engraved on it.

The most disturbing one was not the one where she looked like a dying zombie.

The most disturbing reflection was of her seemingly covered in blackness. The only colored part were her eyes, which were a somehow-ominous amethyst.

She backed away from that one.

She looked at all the reflections. She got the distinct impression that none of them were really her. That none of these reflections knew what she was like. It was almost as if they were trying to figure out what she was.

With that thought, all of the reflections turned to look at her, staring deep into her. Looking.

Looking for what? She had no idea.

Then the world shattered, the area broke into a thousand pieces.

She was falling. Falling down.

Deep in the blackness, she could see something approaching. It was a two-dimensional image. Several rings on the outside filled with strange and unusual symbols. Within them, were seven more wheels, each with their own set of symbols.

However, what was in the center got her attention.

A deep purple spring.

She didn't have any reason for feeling what she felt next. She was afraid of the spring. She was angry at the spring. She wanted to kill the spring. She wanted to get as far away from it as possible. She wanted-

She didn't have time to feel anything else. Because at that moment someone grabbed her to keep her from falling deeper.

She looked up to see a white glove with six fingers holding onto her. There was no arm attached to it. She heard a distant voice.

"Brx'yh grqh hqrxjk wr khu." It was the voice of a young woman, horribly garbled. She had the feeling the voice belonged to the same person the hand did.

Then a message flashed across her face.

~o• ~-– -•••- o•-–

And with that, she was released. Color returned to the world.

She was standing in a wide open field.

In the distance, she could see Cocoon, sitting atop its crystal pillar.

Her mouth hung open. She was on Gran Pulse.

She smiled.

Home.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Q appeared in front of Scully and Mulder, a sour look on his face.

"Well my plaything has just been taken from me, you two aren't playing, and Walter's there seems to think that a million naked horse-men aren't weird in the slightest."

Mulder looked up. Keeping a straight face, he asked his question. "Were you really just looking for entertainment?"

"No. And i'm not telling you more than that. You figure out what I was trying to do." He snapped his fingers, causing Walter, Scully, and Mulder to appear in the sky above Peter.

"There. Back. As I said. Give me a minute to get the other one."

Peter drew his gun and fired, but it just hit air.

He let out a rather vulgar swear before even bothering to check to see if they were okay. And after that was done, he let out another one before simply shouting "Q!" To no-one in particular.

If Kirk had been brought back by Q he would have felt the chills. He was not. However, someone ELSE did, somewhere far far away.

"Oh fiddlesticks!" Walter said despondently. "All the foodstuffs are gone!"

Scully sighed. Mulder laughed.

Peter was still angry. "L- Monica's still missing. And I know that prick said to give him a minute but-"

Mulder leaned back. "I doubt we know enough to get her back ourselves. We just have to wait. Be patient."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _This is my memory… Not real..._

Lightning looked around. It was after Serah and Snow's wedding. Everyone was having a blast. The world had been saved a few weeks prior, and everyone was laughing, reminiscing about their adventures. In the distance was Cocoon, sitting atop it's pillar.

A smile came to Lightning's lips. This was one of her better memories. Everything was… right with the universe.

A woman walked up beside her. Her hair was golden, and she wore an odd golden jacket with strange blue markings on it. Around her neck she wore a triangle-shaped pendant with a crystal "eye" in it.

And she had no arms. Her two six-fingered hands were just floating gloves, attached to her body by some invisible force.

She spoke, but her voice sounded far away.

"...at a wonderful memor…"

Lightning turned to her. Unlike the sense she got around Q, which was utter and complete distrust, she felt like this woman could be trusted. "Why have you brought me here?"

"...ime to talk to y…"

"Why?"

"...answers…"

"For what?"

The woman turned to look at her, sadly. "...o time to explain everyt…"

"Then just tell me what I need to know."

"...ou are part of the e… ...e of us can see your de… ...e the spring… ...you are clear, Claire…"

Lightning widened her eyes. She knew her real name. Not many people did.

The woman turned back to the memory of the after-party. "...ld onto this. Tribulations are ahead. I know not what they are, but they are coming. Time has become clouded." The woman suddenly solidified into focus, her voice clear. "Claire, listen. You have to find your sister before-"

Unlike the fading in and out of before, this was cut off abruptly. The world faded, darkness surrounded her.

A hideous laughing filled her head. She screamed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning awoke on a bed.

"Oog." She muttered, looking around.

This was the Fringe lab's bed. She shuddered, knowing that this was where bodies were dumped sometimes. She stood up, shaking her head.

"Egad! She awakes!" Walter announced. He then proceeded to stick a redvine in his mouth and chew vigorously.

Lightning smiled at the man's antics. She sat back down on the bed, deciding she didn't care what was generally put on it. She felt exhausted. It had probably been cleaned anyway. Probably.

She had no clue what anything in the last day had meant.

Right now, she didn't care. She just wanted to relax.

"Hey where are the others Walter?"

"Trying to find this Q character. Very intriguing."

Lightning, for some reason, found herself smiling. She didn't feel particularly depressed anymore. But she did remember something important. "Walter, I need to find my sister."

"Oh?"

"If the same thing happened to her, chances are she'll be on one of the versions of Earth. Possibly even this one."

Walter smiled. "I'll get everyone on it. What's she look like?"

Lightning reached into her shirt and pulled out an image from the wedding. The entire gang was there.

Well, except for Vanille and Fang. But that couldn't be helped.

Lightning pointed at Serah. "That's her."

Walter smiled. "I'll get on it. I'll see what I can come up with. But for now.. redvine?"

"Sure." Lightning said, nabbing the red candy from Walter and biting in.

She smiled. She was surprised to actually find herself happy here.

She would adjust to being Monica.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The woman sighed. She had done what she could.

Claire now had some protection against the others.

She sighed. She was not used to this kind of power. She was used to having vast reserves of power, but not of this KIND.

She rubbed her head, before walking out of her office. She walked down the golden corridors, weakly saying hi to a few people here and there. She walked right past the wall that was repairing itself.

She stopped right in front of the giant doors that lead to the Lumen Council room, the place where the Wingdings made all their important decisions. There were always five Lumens, and she was one of them.

The woman stood up, pushed thoughts of Claire out of her mind, and walked in.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia spent the day bowling with Sam Weiss.

She was not entirely sure how that counted as therapy, but whatever.

She absolutely sucked.

But she kept trying.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

EOHQGLQ ZDV KHUH

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **GM: fans: Y U KILL OFF MONICA? SHE WAS NICE-**

 **Shuddup fans. I didn't like Monica that much. Perhaps I didn't give her a chance. But I've got to kill some people off. Later on I'll probably end up killing characters I LIKE, but for now, MY WORD IS LAW AHHAHAHAHAHAHHA**

 **I'm not drunk with power.**

 **Anyway I at first thought this would be a 'filler episode.' But my desire to put in secrets and fun ran away with me. So SCREW THAT IDEA. Maybe one day there will eventually be a filler episode that has nothing much to do with the overall story.**

 **Maybe.**

 **Maybe I'll manage to keep the ending of 2012 secret until the end.**

 **But I doubt it.**

 **We'll get back to the fleet eventually. Not in the next episode though. Sorry. Just a biiiit longer.**

 **REVIEW! FAVORITE! FOLLOW! SOLVE THE PUZZLES! CONSPIRACY WHEEL CAN BE FOUND ON PROFILE! :D Also we have a forum in case you missed that. (no-one likes the forum… TIS A GHOST TOWN. We need peeps there.)**


	9. January 8: BLANC

**AN:**

 **GM: okay. so this is sorta a filler episode, but yet, there is still important plot here. I should just give up doing these. Today we have a format experiment. See what you think. Feedback appreciated.**

 **ALERT: We're a tad cruel in places here. Muahahahhaha.**

 **BR: *Squeezes Alpaca Plush* :3**

 **GM: don't ask.**

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Sunday, January 8: B.L.A.N.C.

Sunday, the day of rest. The day of people not doing work, calm before the storm of monday. A time to catch your breath and prepare.

These are the tales of a sunday that was anything but.

This is the day operation B.L.A.N.C. was carried out for the first (and last) time.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE ARCHAEOLOGIST'S TALE: Fudge it

Daniel Jackson decided first thing that he was going to make a giant fudge brownie for everyone.

Why? Because fudge. That's why.

Also he, for once, didn't have any pressing work to do.

Might as well make fudge brownies. Didn't matter that he had never made them before, it couldn't be that hard.

He took out the biggest bowl he could, threw all the fudge he had into it, and brought it over to the microwave. He quickly realized that the rectangular box was no where near big enough to fit the giant bowl.

He quickly turned around and stuck it in the oven. He closed the door, and let it melt. The fudge became a gooey, sticky pool within the bowl. He opened the oven, and reached in. Just at that moment, an air bubble formed inside the fudge and burst, launching scalding hot fudge all over Daniel's arm and shirt.

"D***!" Daniel exclaimed, quickly trying to get the fudge off his arm. Not only was his shirt covered in fudge, but it was also slightly singed. In other words, ruined. It had also started to smell like bacon for some reason.

Daniel ran into the closet, looking for a fresh change of clothes. There was nothing.

 _I guess I really have put off the laundry for a bit too long…_

He shrugged. He could deal with it later. He went back to the oven.

Now, the oven had been left open. And it was still on. This meant that the fudge was still bubbling. Launching fudgey nuggets of goodness all over the kitchen.

Daniel sighed, then regained his composure. He could deal with it later. He turned the oven off and tried to take the bowl out of the oven.

Then he put oven gloves on his hands and took the bowl out of the oven. After which he went to the first aid kit and rubbed his hands with burn cream. He wrapped them with medical tape, prepared to begin his continued cooking.

He threw the pantry doors open, looking for other ingredients.

He saw a cylinder of pringles, a half eaten sandwich in a bag, some mold, a mouse whisker, and a Mesopotamian mask.

 _I've been looking for that mask._ He pondered the pantry. He probably shouldn't try to make fudge brownies with THESE ingredients.

 _Maybe Jack has some stuff._

Completely forgetting his injured and messy appearance, he went to start his car.

It coughed, sputtered, and let out a puff of smoke. He sighed. He could deal with it later. He went inside, got his collapsible wagon, put the bowl in it, then began to drag it to O'Neill's house.

He arrived a few hours later. O'Neill opened the door, looking tired.

"Jack! We need to make brownies!"

O'Neill was too tired to do anything other than nodd.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE ACOLYTE'S TALE: The Search for Silence.

Jinora's sunday began before the crack of dawn. She had learned really quickly that the dorm she shared with Ty Lee became really loud really fast. While they were good friends, Ty Lee could be very very annoying. Way too peppy.

Jinora curled her legs into the folded seating position. She pressed her palms together, getting her energy flowing. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and began to empty her mind.

The sound of a laser tag gun going off startled her from her meditation.

Her eyes flew open, a look of deep annoyance on her face. They were STILL playing? She threw the door open, and saw Teal'c running around blasting other soldiers with the laser tag gun. The "byoo" irritated Jinora further.

"How have you been playing ALL NIGHT?"

"It is good training, Jinora." Teal'c said as he hit two more of the others.

"Some of us are trying to meditate." She said, irked.

"I would recommend finding a quiet place." Teal'c whirled around and shot one that was trying to sneak up on him,

Jinora sighed, and nodded. Teal'c gave her a nod, and then blasted a soldier that was coming up behind her. She sighed, stood up, and walked off, not caring in the slightest that she was blocking some of the lasers.

She left the base, and sat on a hill while the sun rose. She felt its warmth, and began again. Sit. Press palms. Flow energy. Close eyes. Deep breath. Empty mind-

"I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Deadpool yelled, running across the field.

Ty Lee roared. "YOU DUMPED A BUCKET OF WATER ON ME!"

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO DUMP IT ON MYSELF!"

"LIKELY STORY! TAKE THIS!"

Ty Lee leapt forth, kicking. Deadpool tried to catch the foot, but Ty Lee was expecting it and managed to twist her aim into his chest. The two fell to the ground, and entered a brawl.

Jinora sighed, stood up, and walked off. She could care less who the winner would be right now.

The next place she tried was the broom closet. The brooms, however, decided to fall over right on her head, giving her a lump.

She put on her 'outside in public' cloak that covered her tattoos, and left the base, searching for silence in Colorado Springs.

She found a traffic jam. While she wasn't driving anything, simply walking by it frazzled her. She was starting to look haggard. She hadn't bothered to comb her hair at all.

She marched right into Dure's. This restaurant had a reputation for being fancy, quiet, and quaint. Also some of the food reminded her of home.

Unfortunately for Jinora, the only table she could get was next to the TV. So she had to listen to something about lemmings and she didn't even get to enjoy her food. Why WAS there a TV here anyway? Restaurants do not need televisions!

She marched out, the stress starting to get to her. Some idiot tried to run her over with a car. "WATCH IT!" She yelled, before marching off to another road, where a bunch of motorcycles were having a race. A LOUD race. She coughed in the fumes.

She tried getting out of town. She found a nice quiet tree in a field. She began, always wary for a possible distraction. Sit. Make sure nothing has shown up. Press palms. Flow energy. Paranoidly look to the left. Close eyes. Deep breath. Listen closely for movement. Empty mind-

The sound of a snake attacking a hawk startled her from her meditation.

She didn't even bother to see what kind of snake it was, she blew a gust of air at it and walked off.

She marched back into town, found O'Neill's place, and banged on the door.

O'Neill opened the door, a surprised look on his face. "Why hello-"

"You seem like the person who would have a soundproof room in their house."

O'Neill blinked. "Well yes, it's the closet down the hall-"

Jinora pushed O'Neill aside, and went into the closet. He could hear the door click.

"What's with her?" Daniel asked, still with the bowl of fudge.

"Not sure…" O'Neill shrugged.

And with that, Jinora's journey came to an end.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE ACROBAT'S TALE: Prancing.

Jinora was missing.

Whatever. She probably wanted quiet. Or something.

I sighed, stretching as I leapt out of bed. Time to go eat something. Preferably blue jello. That stuff is amazing.

I grinned to myself, and pranced out of the dorm and into the base. I gave Teal'c a high-five as I passed. He still avoided every shot fired at him. Amazing game, laser tag.

Also Teal'c is a bit of a hunk. I mean, the man has muscles a plenty and is huge and just… Way too muscular… Also too quiet. Get your head out of there Ty Lee, there's nothing for you there. Just keep moving.

Ow. Do NOT run into the wall while trying not to think about guys. Good.

I opened my eyes, realizing I had ended up by Carter's lab. She seemed to be in an utter and complete trance, staring at a screen with lots of mathematical mumbo-jumbo on it. Diagrams of circles with wavy lines coming off of them featured prominently.

Even I knew what those were. Thaums. The particles of magic that had Carter so annoyed.

I grinned. She was in a trance. I could sneak into the lab, take something that was probably dangerous, and get out.

Of course I would only _borrow_ it. Besides, Carter hadn't made a point of saying her lab equipment _wasn't_ to be taken, aside from a few dirty looks.

So naturally I grabbed something and left a note saying "It'll be back in the next few hours." I pranced out of the room holding a strange cylindrical thingy with various purple markings that, for all I knew, could actually BE an alien language.

I shrugged. Who cared. I had it for now. Everything would be fine-

"Hello dearest acrobat-"

I groaned. Deadpool, why now? "Get lost."

Deadpool grinned. Or I presumed he did. That mask makes it hard to tell. "Oh Ty Lee, those words wound me so!" Not at all. "But watch this!"

He proceeded to lift a bucket of water above his head, and throw it onto me.

He stared. "Uh… oops."

I twitched. I was wet, annoyed, I didn't like him that much, and I still hadn't gotten my jello.

"I WILL KILL YOU!"

After a long fight which took us all over the base, and even outside of it, Deadpool eventually brought out a white flag of surrender. I took this as a signal to slap him repeatedly and then stomp off.

Then I put a smile on my face and pranced away. That was fun.

It took me an hour before I realized that the thingy I borrowed from Carter's lab was missing.

My face paled as I realized what this meant. I was about to face Carter's wrath.

I needed a place to hide. Now.

Who would help me hide?

Then I had an idea. I pranced all the way to O'Neill's place and pleaded. "HELP ME HIDE FROM SAM!"

He nodded, and let me in. He mumbled something about too many visitors. I pranced through the house.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE AGENT'S TALE: Investigations

Wendy unfolded the newspaper. January 8th, 2012. Way too early. By about five months.

She crumpled it up and threw it towards a building. She'd just gather information until then.

Might as well start today. Mustn't draw attention by asking obvious questions.

Don't ask anything specific. Only general.

She walked into General Hammond's office, knocking on the door before stepping into the room. It was adorned with various tidbits and things. The desk was covered in papers, and Hammond himself was sitting in the big poofy chair. The Chair.

"Hey um… I have the highest security clearance right?"

Hammond raised his eyebrow. "The only clearance you don't have is Presidential Inner Circle and Need to Know basis."

"So question. I'm curious if you have anyone on this planet who deals with the… unusual? spiritual? magical? I mean it was common on Diqiu. Jinora still feels some here. There must be something."

Hammond furrowed his brow before something occurred to him. "There WAS this small FBI section known as the X files. Strange and unusual cases. Made the news a few times. The man was considered a crack, but he was a good agent. I forget his name…"

Wendy smiled, thinking she struck gold. "Just give me one of those classified-accessing computers and i'll look it up."

"The X Files aren't on our database. I believe the files are all physically stored off the internet. Only that agent knows where they are, presumably."

Wendy nodded. "I'll see what I can find…"

"Oh and the man himself doesn't have clearance. I believe there's a rule posted somewhere about him."

She thanked Hammond, and left the office, finding a console. She googled "the X files."

Up came a few news reports and crack websites.

Evidentially, the man, Fox "Spooky" Mulder was an excellent FBI agent. He did well on his cases. Well, on the cases that didn't involve the creepy and unexplained, though even some of those were well done. Other than the official records, the man seemed to get a lot of hate. Put down by media as a crazy alien crack. Mocking the FBI for having such a man in their department.

"AGENT MULDER: A BELIEVER IN THE FBI?"

"MAN HUNTS GHOSTS."

"FBI'S SECRET DEPARTMENT OF GHOSTBUSTERS."

"FBI AGENT OFFERS "ALIENS" AS AN ANSWER."

"MULDER DENIES HIS OWN BELIEFS."

But amongst all the hate, there were bloggers and other people who defended him. The most popular group being a bunch of conspiracy theorists called "The Lone Gunmen." Weird name. Compared to other conspiracy theorists, these people seemed to actually think about their theories. Somewhat. There were a few Wendy found absolutely ridiculous. "All powerful being known as Q running amok." Then there were some Wendy knew were true. "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza haunted by serial killer victims." How could they have figured THAT out?

Wendy decided to call them, to see if they knew how to contact Mulder.

"The Lone Gunmen, Byers speaking. Want to subscribe or give us information?"

"Yeah not giving you information. I'm calling because I'm looking for Agent Mulder."

"Well, sorry, but we're not allowed to give out his phone number. I do believe we can pass on a message though."

Wendy sighed inwardly. "Fine. Tell him my name is Wendy Corduroy, and I want to know anything he has about the town Gravity Falls." He gave him her phone number.

"Ookay…" Byers said, obviously somewhat confused by this. "You know he doesn't always talk about his work. We have an extensive database on weird things here though."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "I already searched the internet. The place is literally off the map."

Byers went and searched anyway. "Hey, the town is in our database three times. It was the location of the first Freddy Murder…" Wendy grunted. Of course it would be information she already knew. "There was a strange gravitational anomaly about thirty years ago right there… oddly enough that was around the same time as the first murder..." Of course. Thirty years ago. Worth investigating, but not new enough info. "Aaaaaaaaaand… well this is interesting. Legend has it that it was founded by some crack who was pretending to be president."

Wendy chuckled to herself. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing at all. Thank you. Please pass on that message. Bye."

She sighed. Great. Nothing at all.

She searched the SCG database, just so see if there was anything at all.

There was mention of him. "Fox Mulder is a perfectly capable FBI agent… When he is SOMEWHERE ELSE." Apparently SG-1 had come across him once.

Might as well drop in on O'Neill to see what he knew.

He didn't seem all that surprised to see her.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE SCIENTIST'S TALE: Brevity

Carter's sunday was simple.

Get up.

Get Coffee.

Walk to lab.

Do the daily blow-something-up routine. This time she used a laser gun she found in the hallway.

Stare at whiteboard for seven hours trying to figure out what magic means/is/how it works/where it is/how to find it/math.

Pass out from overheating brain.

Wake up.

Stare for another hour.

Throw hands into air and go to O'Neill's house.

He did bug her to actually take days off from time to time. (Okay, ALL the time) Perhaps doing this once would get him off her back. Then again it probably wouldn't, half a sunday hardly counted.

"Carter! Why didn't you take the rest of the day off? We've been having fun here!"

Scratch that. It DEFINITELY wouldn't.

"Hey Sam, can water burn?"

Carter didn't even want to know why Daniel was asking her that question.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE JAFFA'S TALE: IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR

Teal'c had no clue how long he'd been playing laser tag. It started last night.

It was almost noon. Several people had said. "Hey." To him while he was fighting.

Everyone else who was playing had started gaining up. It had become a bit of a challenge.

Miranda had, so far, been the only one to actually hit him.

The slightest hint of a smirk climbed up his face. She was good.

Everyone else was getting really tired. Teal'c was just barely starting to feel some fatigue.

Though it was only a matter of time until-

His gun suddenly lit up with the noise of being hit. He blinked. Who-

He was hit again. And again. Teal'c whirled around, listening carefully for the assailant. He saw nobody. He only heard a faint chuckling that seemed to be coming from everywhere.

"Hey guess what?" Deadpool's voice said. "I'm hitting you! HAHAHHA!"

Teal'c light lit up again, this time with a high pitched whine. He was only one hit away from being defeated.

"My good friend. You may want to hide. Not that it'll help, but it'd be some kind of action."

Teal'c said nothing, looking carefully for anything. He saw nothing.

His gun lit up, droned, and said "GAME OVER."

Teal'c took a moment to stare at the gun. He promptly set it on a nearby table, and walked off.

Behind him, he could hear his fellows talking,

"I guess that means it's over."

"Good. I'm going to-" Sounds of snoring could be heard.

Teal'c entered his quarters, and began Kelno'reem. Barely two minutes into the procedure until he felt a pie splat into his face.

There was no sign of Deadpool.

Teal'c cracked his knuckles. You did NOT want to get into a prank war with Teal'c.

Teal'c grabbed his supplies. Whipped cream, blue jello, a fish, fishing poles, fishing line, zappers, a zat, sound detectors, motion detectors, smell detectors, fake bugs, and several robotic bugs. He then set out to locate Deadpool.

No-one had seen him since the fight with Ty Lee.

Teal'c eventually just gave up and left the base.

Taped to his back was a piece of paper with a Deadpool logo, saying "Kick me."

Arriving at O'Neill's house produced a hearty laugh from the colonel.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE INVERTED'S TALE: Lemmings

"OPERATION BLANC! Because C's are better than K's! Now PEOPLE! We will Be Loud and Never Cease! This will be useful in situations where animals are scared of noise, and other such things. Are you with me people?"

The various dolls that represented her team stared back at Patema in silence.

"GOOD. Now BEGIN! Good. Good. Deadpool, stop wagging your finger. It's not noisy. No it is not cute. Jinora, YELL not _speak loudly_. Good. Good. Wendy, please put your phone away. Yes I am aware you are using it to make a blaring noise, but please put it away. Good! Good practice session everyone."

She then proceeded to unlock the door of her apartment. She poked her head out. None of the neighbors thought she was crazy. Good.

The cupcake looked at her.

"Don't look at me like that."

It continued looking.

"Quit it. I need leadership practice."

No change.

"Ugh. I don't even know how you make facial expressions. Maybe it's all in my head."

At this point she noticed that one of the neighbors HAD walked out into the hall and was staring at her with a look of bafflement on their face.

"Oh. Hi. Please leave."

The neighbor nodded, going back into their apartment, probably thinking the same things as everyone else. Why was she so short? Why did her hair seem to defy gravity at times? How did she walk around in those ridiculously heavy boots? Why did she have a cupcake with eyes? Why did she talk to herself?

Screw them and their questions, she humphed to herself. I have my secrets.

She clipped the cupcake to her belt, got into her nice teal car, and drove to the base.

She arrived just in time to see Ty Lee walking away from Deadpool. Ty Lee was furious. Deadpool seemed to be woozy. She shrugged, walking into the base.

Sure it was Sunday. But the base was usually very interesting.

For instance, there was a strange device left on the ground in the middle of nowhere. She read the inscription.

"Thaumic Test Device. DO NOT REMOVE FROM LAB- CARTER"

Well Patema didn't want to risk the rage of Carter. She better return it. She picked it up, accidentally hitting a button. A strange purple arc left the machine, hitting a wall.

Patema hoped that hadn't done anything bad.

She quietly slipped into Carter's lab, and put the thing on the desk. Carter herself looked haggard. She was staring at the blackboard, and had obviously been staring for a long time. Dust had begun to gather.

Patema shrugged and walked out, taking herself on a tour around the base. Saying hi to everyone, chatting, that kind of stuff.

She noticed the first lemming a few hours later. It was sitting on a desk. She blinked. It was still there.

Cute and adorable. She hugged it and cuddled it. Then she put it back, thinking it was someone's experiment.

She figured something was wrong after the third one appeared.

This was furthered when she heard a TV report: "Somehow, several thousand lemmings have appeared overnight in the Colorado Springs area…"

Patema paled.

Somehow she just knew she had something to do with this.

Time to leave the base!

She did so. But outside the base it was worse.

She soon realized that the lemmings were watching her. Following her.

It was creepy beyond measure.

She thought about going to her apartment. Seven lemmings blocking the road. She quickly turned another direction.

It was ridiculous.

She picked up her phone and called Jinora. "HELP! I'M BEING CHASED BY LEMMINGS!"

A very audible sigh could be heard from the other end. "Come to O'Neill's place."

"Why?"

Jinora hung up.

Patema glared at the phone before flooring it all the way to O'Neill's.

She ran in and locked all the doors.

"Um… yes you can come in." O'Neill sarcastically said.

"Funny."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE MAGE'S TALE: Explosions of Lazor

Miranda's sunday began on the floor. Aparently she had fallen out of bed in the middle of the night. She got up and walked out the door thinking: that will be the worst part of my day… right? But on to more pressing questions, how to have fun on her day off. She decided to explore around the local area of earth. She then immediately ran into someone playing laser tag.

"Just how long have you been playing that game, and more importantly, where can i get one of those guns?" she asked.

"Ummmm… since sometime after dinner…. we've been playing a long time…. Er, down that hall fifth door on your left"

"Thank you."

She then walked all the way down the hall and… there was no fifth door. And the player was nowhere to be seen. This annoyed her quite a bit, and she proceeded to walk around the base, looking for a laser gun locker.

She found the kitchen. Blue jello was the special.

She ate her fill before asking the chef if he knew where to find a laser gun.

He pulled one out of one of his pots. "Here you are."

Miranda shrugged and said thanks. She was used to odd things like that happening. She ran into the game, cast a mirror shell around herself, and started blasting.

Of course the mirror shell was cheating. She didn't particularly care. It felt good to absolutely trounce everyone. As it always did.

"HAHAHAH! TASTE MY NONLETHAL LAZOR BULLETS! HAHAHHAHAH!"

"You seem to be having fun, Miranda Marlowe."

"Am I? I hadn't noticed big guy. Oh by the way BLAM!"

She missed. Teal'c had already moved, preparing to fire another shot. Miranda ducked, letting the laser hit a guy behind her, sweeping her legs in an attempt to trip Teal'c.

She discovered that Teal'c's legs are like iron bars. She squealed, grabbed her leg, and hopped around on it going "ow ow ow ow."

The slightest hint of a smirk appeared on Teal'c's face. He aimed the gun, ready to fire the disabled opponent.

Miranda's eyes glinted. She quickly kicked with her other foot, knocking the gun out of Teal'c's hand. Then she fired at it. It lit up declaring a hit.

The sound of resounding clapping could be heard. The others had been trying to hit Teal'c all night. "GO MIRANDA!"

Miranda took in the praise, bowing and smiling. She didn't even realize Teal'c was shooting at her until too late.

"Aw…." She said, looking at her GAME OVER'd gun. "I was doing so well…"

"You are a clever warrior, Miranda Marlowe."

"You bet your butt I am!" She realized what she just said. "Scratch that, don't bet your butt. That's just wrong."

"Indeed, Miranda Marlowe." Teal'c returned to his game.

Miranda shrugged and walked off.

She tripped over a lemming.

Without thinking, or even checking to see if the lemming was magical or not, she hit it with a magic bolt. Only AFTER doing that did she bother to check what it was.

She realized she just cloned the thing several thousand times over.

Now, it is physically impossible for a Gari to pale. They have perfectly white skin. However, one can tell the 'oh no' mood simply by looking at their hair. It's usually motionless, very plastic-like. When the 'oh no' occurs, the hair vibrates rapidly for a second or so.

She had one of those. She quickly turned around, attempting to forget all about it. She had wanted to see Earth today after all.

She stopped by Hammond's office. "I'll be going out."

Hammond blinked. "We can't have civilians seeing you-"

She snapped her fingers. Her skin darkened, she gained a nose, her ears rounded, and she shrank in height about half a foot. Her features became rounded, rather than rectangular. "Better?"

"...Much. Have fun…"

Miranda gave a wave before teleporting out of the base. She smiled to herself. Time to go see how their civilization functioned.

She stopped by a park, looking a a statue that looked suspiciously like a stargate.

"America the Beautiful park, Colorado Springs. Huh." The ring statue was dripping water through its center like a fountain.

"That's suspiciously close to the Gate…" She muttered. She'd have to talk to them about security.

There was also a lemming sitting on it.

She turned around, thinking _nopenopenopenopenope._ She teleported elsewhere, pretending that nothing had happened.

In this building, there was a man with a lemming sitting on his head. He appeared to be considering what was more odd: the lemming, or the woman who had just appeared in front of him.

Miranda teleported away. _This'll take care of itself…_

It didn't. There were lemmings in the next five places she went to. She was about to just give up when her phone rang. "Hey Miranda! Everyone's gathering here! Why don't you drop down? We have FUDGE!"

Miranda shrugged, figuring there was nothing better to do right now.

The lemmings wouldn't be at O'Neill's.

Right?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE MERC'S TALE Surprise!

Deadpool knocked on O'Neill's door.

He grinned. He wouldn't be left out of a party.

He sat there for a few minutes. "HELLO? ANYBODY? I'm ready to HAVE A PARTY!"

His day had gone pretty good so far, aside from Ty Lee and the Bucket. That was definitely the low point. He had successfully beaten Teal'c by setting up a bunch of laser pointers. It was fun.

He grunted. He knew all nine of the others were here. He had received a phone call a few minutes ago telling him.

Were they trying to prank HIM perhaps?

Maybe. Deadpool squinted his eyes.

The windows were dark. There was no loud talking. Nothing.

He looked around for a camera or something. Nothing.

Deadpool squinted his eyes. What WERE they up to?

He reached into his magic satchel and produced an axe.

 _I'll take down that door…_

One hit.

Nothing.

Two hits.

The door dented.

 _Does he not care that I'm destroying his door?_

Three hits.

The door caved in.

Several thousand fudge-covered lemmings poured out of the house, trampled him, and then vanished after they completed the trampling.

 _WHAT. THE. FUDGE. JUST. HAPPENED?_

He then decided he didn't care quite yet. He was just going to lay here, in the ground, and mope about life.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THE SOLDIER'S TALE How it all went down…

O'Neill was awoken by Daniel at his door looking like he had just been through seven different kinds of h***, at least two of which were in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

"Jack! We need to make brownies!"

O'Neill, still as tired as a sloth, slowly nodded. He led Daniel into the kitchen.

"Do you have more fudge?"

O'Neill grunted, pointing at the pantry.

"Thanks."

O'Neill was actually woken up when the fire alarm went off.

"SORRY! I didn't know fudge could catch fire!"

O'Neill blinked before facepalming. "Daniel. Get anything hot enough and it'll light on fire."

"Even water?"

"Um… Ask Carter that one."

The doorbell rang. O'Neill threw the door open, surprised to see another guest. "Hello-"

Jinora, who looked like she was on the end of her rope, shot him a glance that indicated she was in one of those murdering moods. "You seem like the person who would have a soundproof room in their house."

What? "Well yes, it's in the closet down the hall-"

Jinora leapt into the house, and ran into the closet. The door clicked.

"What's with her?" Daniel asked.

"Not sure.." O'Neill said, shrugging. He turned back to the Daniel's fudge project. "How about we make cat shapes?"

"We'll need more fudge for that."

"I've got emergency stores."

Daniel grinned. "YESSSS."

Some time later, after one batch of fudgy goodness was done, Ty Lee arrived, yelling.

"HELP ME HIDE FROM SAM!"

O'Neill nodded, letting the little lady in. She _pranced_ inside.

"So what did you do to get the wrath of Carter?"

Ty Lee looked right at him. "No. Not telling you. I hope her brain turns to mush and she doesn't notice anything. And you might tell her. No. Nuh-uh."

"Fair enough." O'Neill said. He was drawn back to the fudge when Daniel yelled from a burnt finger.

Ty Lee observed. "You need a bigger bowl."

"BRILLIANT!" Daniel said.

"NOT!" O'Neill said. However he was completely ignored.

The next arrival was Wendy, lowering her glasses. "What do you know about Fox Mulder?"

"He's an FBI agent who wouldn't leave me alone about getting to see inside Cheyenne Mountain."

"Anything else?"

"Not really. He's a good agent, but doesn't know how to keep his nose out of things. Took him out for a couple beers as an apology for not showing him the base. The guy has some weird stories."

"Did he mention any specific places?"

O'Neill squinted his eyes at this question. Then he dismissed that untrusting feeling he was getting. This was just going to be one of those weird days. "Uh… nope not really. He did mention Japan and the Bermuda Triangle but… Oh there was something about Quantico… and the FBI headquarters a lot. And before you ask any more odd questions: I do not consider myself fat, my hair is perfectly fine, I do not have any children and I am not presently married, I have not met any green men in my entire life, and my personal choice for naming a ship would be enterprise. Come in. We're making fudge. Have a bite."

Wendy shrugged and walked in.

A few hours later, Carter showed up, looking like utter and complete crap.

"Carter! Why didn't you take the rest of the day off? We've been having fun here!"

Carter attempted to give him a death glare, but instead ended up looking pathetic.

"Hey Sam, can water burn?" Daniel asked.

Carter took one look at Daniel. She quickly realized this was a mistake, and turned away from the fudgy mess. "Um… in theory?"

O'Neill grinned. "Look out! Her brain is burnt! Don't make her think!"

"Think…" Carter muttered.

Ty Lee pulled at the closet doorknob in hopes of escape. There was none. "Come on Jinora lemme in! I NEED SAVING!"

She was met with silence. "Fine!" She went into the bedroom and hid under the bed.

Teal'c arrived shortly thereafter with a "Kick me" sign on his back. O'Neill laughed his socks off. When Teal'c was shown the note, his expression simply darkened as he crumpled the paper into a ball. He threw it at Carter.

Carter, who was currently in "brain burnt" land, didn't even register that it hit her.

At that point, everyone turned to hear Jinora let out a scream. "F*** IT." She said over her phone ringing. Everyone then heard her sigh. "Come to O'Neill's place." Then they heard the sound of a phone hanging up.

Jinora unlocked the closet, and walked out with a calm smile on her face. "So, we're making fudge?"

Everyone stared at her, disbelieving. Didn't she just yell out the expletive seconds ago?

Jinora just gave them all that infuriating calm smile. "Let's shape them into circles okay?"

O'Neill decided to forget about the strange behavior of the girl. "Okaythen. DANIEL! DO NOT BURN YOUR FINGER AGAIN!"

"I'm out of fingers to burn, Jack."

"EXACTLY."

Minutes later, Patema arrived and ran into the house before O'Neill could even issue a greeting.

O'Neill cocked his head, put his hands on his hips, and glared. "Um… yes you can come in."

Patema rolled her eyes. "Funny." She then slammed the door behind them and locked it. "DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR."

O'Neill grinned. "I won't have to. I'll just get one more here…" He rang Miranda up. "Hey Miranda! Everyone's gathering here! Why don't you drop down? We have FUDGE!"

Miranda teleported into the house virtually instantly.

Daniel came into the room with yet another giant bowl of fudge. "I think maybe I should finally make a brownie out of thi- Miranda why do you have a lemming on your head?"

Miranda looked up in shock.

"Oh no." Patema said.

The lemming stared at Patema. Then it rushed towards her, baring teeth.

Patema grabbed the fudge bowl and threw it at the lemming. The fudgy goodness covered the lemming, making it completely brown.

Patema screamed. "EVERYONE OPERATION BLANC!"

Silence.

"THAT DOES NOT MEAN BLANK STARES! IT MEANS LOUD NOISES!"

O'Neill shrugged before banging a pan on a wall. Everyone followed suit while Patema ran from the lemming.

The noise, however, didn't stop the lemmings advance. In fact, it did something else entirely.

The lemmings began to clone themselves. The fudge covered everything in a sticky mess.

Everyone got smothered.

O'Neill cried out. "No! I do not want to be killed by chocolate!"

"It's fudge!"

"Now is not the time to argue over the details Daniel. I mea- MMF"

The Lemmings filled the house. O'Neill could no longer breathe. He tried, and instead got his lungs filled with a mix between fudgey goodness and sweaty lemming fur. It was truly horrendous.

Just before he felt like he would pass out, he heard a lot of comedic noises that could only come from Deadpool.

The lemmings poured out of the house, and vanished.

In fact, all lemmings anywhere in the entire city of Colorado Springs, vanished.

Slowly, everyone made their way out of O'Neill's house. They went to their various homes without saying a word.

Deadpool was left moaning, trampled into the ground.

O'Neill turned to look at his house.

It was completely ruined.

Shame. It had been such a nice house.

He sighed. Time to check into a hotel somewhere.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"This is odd…" Frohike said, scratching his chin.

"What?" Byers asked.

"Well there are apparently TWO Wendy Corduroy's. There's the one who called us, who is a resident of Colorado Springs. She has virtually no backstory to her, which reeks of cover ups. The other one is a teenager who lives in the town of Gravity Falls."

"...That's quite the connection."

"I'd say this actually is important enough to contact Mulder with. LANGLY! Get Mulder on the phone!"

"WHY SHOULD I?"

"Because I hid all your snacks and you won't get them till you do."

"DARNIT. I need a better place to stash things…"

"Just make the call."

"Fine. What's the conspiracy theory today?"

"Cloning."

"Oh this should be good."

They made the call.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

And that was sunday.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

EURZQ OHPPLQJV DQG QHJDWLYH FRQVHTXHQFHV

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: and thus…. well. We have an episode done. Not much happened other than for amusement. A bit of a look into Wendy, but yeah.**

 **ANYWAY! We return to the FLEET next episode :D What have THEY been up to this week? WHO KNOWS? We have plans for them… Much plans…**

 **Review please! WE LIKE FEEDBACK. (we also like ideas. XD)**


	10. January 9: Tatooine

**AN:**

 **GM: I've been waiting since the PROLOGUE to write this! FINALLY we can get to the "main" plot of January. This is a truly epic chapter, in my opinion. HERE WE GO!**

 **I had so much fun writing this. I wrote half of it in one day, beating my previous record of "most pages written in one day." :D**

 **Anyway, read. Learn more about the world.**

 **[][][][][][][][][][][][][]BOLD BREAK. ALSO REDUNDANT[][][][][][][][]**

 **[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]ALSO REDUNDANT[][][][][][][][]**

Monday, January 9: Tatooine.

Romo Lampkin stood atop the new Central Tower, the hub of all activity within the Terra Metropolis. He looked out beyond Central, where all the important things were, and observed the sprawling city.

The Metropolis was big. Not huge, but big. The buildings were generally very similar: basic colonization houses. Most were only one or two rooms, and all were very simplistic. There was some variety in certain places where people decided to stack two on top of each other, or tried to make their own houses out of their own materials, but for the most part the Metropolis was very similar everywhere other than Central. Beyond the Metropolis Lampkin could see farms. Or the beginnings of farms. Nothing was really growing yet. Beyond that, mountains, plains, and trees. Nature.

They had also found traces of a very primitive human society, possibly remnants from a lost Kobolian or Colonial ship. They had seen no ships, but there were some ruins on the other side of the planet. Lampkin had made a note to check the ruins out after the Metropolis was stable.

The Metropolis was not stable unfortunately. As refugees came in from both Colonial and Cylon sides, there was hate. The Cylons and Colonials who had been involved in the recent battle had learned to at least get along, but the new arrivals were becoming… annoying.

And as if the Cylon and Colonial parts of the Metropolis weren't problem enough, the smaller Peacekeeper area just flat out refused to mingle with anyone. Most of them chose to remain on the Command Carrier. Scorpius was still ticked that he didn't get into the battle. The Command Carrier was still in orbit, itching for action. It wasn't getting any. So far, none of the ships brought back had been stupid enough to try anything. None of them wanted to give Scorpius any excuse to shoot at them.

Lampkin sighed. There had to be some way to deal with all this bad blood in the air. They were going to have to work together for goodness sake.

He wondered what the rescue fleet was doing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"All in."

Crichton's mouth dropped open. "Seriously Tom?"

"Of course." He sat back, folding his hands behind his head, a smug look on his face.

Crichton was glad he was back to his old self, more or less, but still. Crichton had four-of-a-kind. And Tom was known for bluffing.

But… All in…

"All in." He said against his better judgement.

Mal simply smiled. "Call." He said, taking only a fraction of his chips.

And that was it. Crichton showed his cards.

"Four of a kind." Crichton said.

Paris grinned. "Four of a kind- aces."

"ARGH why? WHY WHY?"

"Because I'm excellent at this game?"

Mal turned his cards over and sat back with a smirk.

Straight flush.

Paris and Crichton gave Mal all the chips.

"I reckon I'm getting rather good at this game." He grinned. "Rematch, gentlemen?"

The two of them quickly shook their heads and left the table. "What have we created?" Paris asked.

"A monster." Crichton answered.

Meanwhile, on the bridge of Voyager, more important things were happening.

"I'm betting that we find a thousand people!" Kara said, with a challenging grin.

D'anna, the last remaining model Three cylon, smiled. "I bet ten thousand." She was a middle aged woman with blonde hair and an intelligent look about her.

"You're on!" Kara grinned.

Cavil held his forehead. "Can you two stop being children? We are leaders!"

D'anna shrugged. "And leaders need their rest time. I spent months on Eart- Ophich contemplating my own life. I'm surprised I didn't take it. But I realized I could use some more spice in my life."

Cavil glared. "Fine."

Janeway rolled her eyes. In some ways they were like kids. It was almost surprising that they had been at war just a week ago.

Cavil turned to Janeway, his face betraying the fact that he was going to say something nobody liked. "Why are we going here anyway? There is no way any of our ships went out this far!"

"We detected a signal Cavil. We have to check it out. For all we know it could be from an ancient ship of some kind we can use. Or it could be more people who need help."

"Fine. Whatever. Let's just do this quickly."

Janeway looked at the viewscreen. "Is Moya still within the warp bubble?"

Tuvok nodded. "Yes captain. She is still well within it. As is Talyn. Both within safety parameters."

Janeway nodded. "How long until we reach our destination?"

"No more than an hour, captain."

Janeway sat back, wondering what they would find.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Jabba the Hutt was an ugly alien. Just flat out ugly. He looked like a slug and a mutated celery stalk had fused together and then halfway melted. He had hands, sort of. He also had a face with a huge mouth. Many had wondered how this alien who could hardly move had managed to become one of the most feared crime lords of all time.

It was a combination of three things: Smarts, connections, and luck.

And here Jabba the Hutt was, sitting in some building on the desert world of Tatooine, enjoying various delicacies and enjoying his success, all the while plotting his next completely illegal venture.

"Boss?" A minion asked, terrified. Often when Jabba the Hutt was in a bad mood he'd throw anyone who so much as spoke to him into the Rancor pit.

"What?" Jabba said in his completely disgusting language.

"Well… two things. One you have a bounty hunter here wishing to collect bounty on a… Wookie."

"Very well. Tell him to come here. What else?"

"Um… well there appears to be a drifting ship preparing to crash into the planet."

"Why is that my concern?"

"Well since you control most of the functions of Tatooine I'd think-" The look Jabba was giving him told the minion he was treading on thin ice. "Nevermind. Forgive me lord. You know what you're doing. I shall let you do as you please." He got out of there as quickly as possible.

Jabba quickly checked a computer to see if the ship would crash anywhere near his place. It wouldn't. Let it crash. He could care less about it hitting anything. Maybe it would get the people to shut up for once.

The bounty hunter was brought before the crime lord. He was one of those weird aliens that talked like a little gremlin. Jabba could never understand them, no matter how hard he tried. He gestured to his new gold translator droid, C-3 something. He was humanoid, shiny, and moved in a jerky fashion.

"Um… She said 'I have come for the bounty on this wookie."

Jabba grinned. Apparently the bounty hunter was a she. "At last we have the mighty Chewbacca!"

The hunter babbled something again. C-3 something turned back to Jabba. "She said 'I want fifty thousand, no less."

Jabba swung out in rage, hitting C-3 something and getting him all slimy. "OH I say! This is… vulgar…"

At this point the bounty hunter revealed a bomb, and armed it. Jabba didn't understand what she said next, but he knew what the gist of it was. Everyone in the room whipped weapons out at the bounty hunter, preparing to fire. She apparently wanted her full fifty thousand.

Jabba laughed. "I like this one. Fearless and crafty. My kind of scum. Give her what she asks for. Take the wookie to the cells." He chuckled to himself. "Enjoy my facilities little hunter. Perhaps I will ask you to do a task for me later."

The bounty hunter nodded, and tossed Chewbacca to some of Jabba's minions. She then walked off to explore the compound.

Jabba smiled. He liked her. Obviously his minions didn't, but none of them were of his intelligence.

She had spunk. And she got what she wanted. Nothing to worry about.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Leia let out a breath, and took off the mask. Man it was sweaty in there, and extremely unpleasant. She whipped her hair around, missing her trademark hair loops she usually wore. They didn't fit in the mask well, however. The loose hair was annoying.

Anyway, she had found what she had come for. On display in one of Jabba's rooms was a slab of black carbonite with a man frozen in it.

This man was Han Solo, smuggler and captain of his own starship.

He was also ridiculously handsome. At least in Leia's eyes.

She walked right up to the carbonite, accessing the panel. _So to free him I need to do this… and this... and… got it._

The carbonite began to glow, revealing the skin beneath. His fingers began to twitch. His face came to life, his mouth moving. He gained color.

He then unceremoniously flopped onto the ground with an "oof."

Leia smirked, hoisting him up and kissing him.

THAT woke him up. "Well… hello! Uh… what happened?"

"I'm rescuing you. Let's get out of here-"

She turned around to see the barrel of a gun. The wielder of the blaster was one Boba Fett, famous bounty hunter clad in green body armor. HIs signature rounded visor-helmet covered his face, not giving any indication to Leia what he was thinking.

He produced some imprisonment chains.

 _Great._ Leia thought.

Han chuckled despite himself. _Saved, then captured again._

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Voyager, Moya, and Talyn dropped out of warp.

What met their eyes was quite a surprise. Before them was a world which appeared to be largely desert.

There were also several dozen ships of unknown design surrounding the sandy world.

Janeway recovered first. "Broadcast a general introduction and a request to speak to this world's governing body. All frequencies."

D'anna accessed a computer console using a custom interface which involved plugging a cable into her arm, drawing blood. She became one with the data. "I'm checking the radio chatter… they heard us. Most are ignoring us. A couple seem curious, but aren't responding. I am gathering that we have just requested to speak to the 'Hutts,' whoever they are."

Janeway nodded.

Cavil threw his arms wide. "Why are we here? These people obviously aren't refugees. We have no need to be here!"

"They're our neighbors. We want to be on their good side, _Cavil,_ if they decide they don't like us we may have a problem."

Cavil glowered, but shut up.

"We're being hailed." D'anna said.

"Bring it up."

A face of a blue-skinned humanoid appeared "I am Arthon, speaking on behalf of Jabba the Hutt. Why have you requested an audience with him? You should know he doesn't see people who don't have anything to offer."

"I apologize if we offended your customs. We aren't from around here."

The man made a strange noise, presumably equatable to a "Humph." "Don't be ridiculous. Everyone in the Empire knows about Hutts. Even the Covenant knows of the Hutts. Everyone knows about us."

Janeway turned. "Send him the general area of space we've been in recently."

Arthon looked at his screen. His eyebrows raised. "The barren sectors? There's nothing there but dead rocks."

"I agree that the amount of habitable planets is low, but in the area we've charted there's over a dozen."

"Look, there's no way you're from there. We've sent several patrols into the area because pirates tend to hide out there. It's just a thousand light years of nothing. I mean-" He paused as a message popped up on his screen. His eyes widened. "...Um… Excuse me…"

The picture changed from Arthon to a strange slug-like alien. "I am Jabba the Hutt."

Janeway tried to read the alien in front of her. He wasn't humanoid, which made it difficult. All she got was that he spoke with authority, and she took that inference with a grain of salt.

"I am Captain Janeway of the U.S.S. Voyager of the Terra Federation. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mister Hutt."

Jabba squinted. Either they were really bad at lying, or they had some device that translated what he said. That would be useful. It'd save him a lot of money on translation droids. "You say you are from the barren sectors?"

Janeway barely hesitated a moment. "Yes, we are a collection of a few peoples who formed in that area. You'll excuse me if I don't tell you the location of our worlds?" She needed to make him think they had some power. "Worlds" carried more weight than "World."

Jabba the Hutt smiled. She was lying about something. He had no doubt there really were some worlds in the barren sectors and that they occupied at least some of them. But the way she said "Yes" so quickly indicated that some of them weren't from there. Elsewhere in the Empire perhaps? But then they would know about him. In Covenant space? No… the Covenant knew about him too. It was an interesting puzzle.

Contrary to popular belief, Jabba loved puzzles and mysteries. It made things interesting. He just didn't like them when they made him lose power. So far, these people didn't seem to be a threat of any kind. "I have no desire to know where your planets are. Yet. I am curious in your technology however."

Ah so he was a trader. "Federation laws dictate that we can't give away technology unless we receive something in return. The only exception is medical technology."

Medical technology? So this Terra Federation liked to help those in need so much they had a special law saying they could give people all the medical technology they needed. Touching. "Some of the people here could use some medical technology," he said, trying to appear like he cared for his people. "but I'm interested in that translator of yours."

Janeway blinked, surprised. "You don't have a universal translator?"

"No." Jabba said, confused. Was the translator a common thing where they came from?

Janeway recovered quickly. "I'm sorry, I just thought that since there are obviously so many races here you would have invented one already. A universal translator is an easy enough trade, but what do we get in return?"

Jabba thought about this. What would these people want? Credits probably meant nothing to them, they were obviously a government operation, probably with nigh-limitless funds. It had to be something of value. He had a particular feeling they wouldn't want slaves either.

"Do you have any droids?"

"What?"

"Machines. Robots that do your work for you."

Janeway glanced at D'anna and Cavil. They both vigorously shook their heads.

This hesitation was enough to get Jabba suspicious. "You do have some kind of machines, and you don't want me to know about them."

Janeway sighed. He was good. But she knew a way to get around the real secret of the humanoid cylons. "We have several… Centurions… on board. Mechanical soldiers, designed to think and act like real soldiers."

Jabba laughed. They really WEREN'T from around here. "In the war a few decades ago entire armies were composed of those kind of droids. No need to keep that a secret. I'd love to see one of your centurions face one of my old battle droids. I have a few."

"Perhaps later."

Jabba knew this meant never, but he didn't care. "Well what do you want? I can offer weapons, engines, smaller ships, information…"

"Information. In exchange for the universal translator a database detailing anything we'd want to know about the galaxy."

Jabba understood now. They had no clue about anything in this galaxy. He smiled. He could get that easily. But he wanted them on his good side. If he just gave them a cheap one it'd be annoying…

He had an idea.

"Deal. I will give you an advanced database, complete with AI. She'll be sent up shortly."

"Can't you transmit her if she's an AI?" Janeway asked.

"No. She's both ancient and tremendous. I don't have much use for her, I've already gleaned all the info I need. Seems like a suitable gift?"

Janeway wasn't too sure. But, then again, a universal translator wasn't that hard to give up. "We'll rendezvous where?"

"Why not just let me send it to your ship."

Janeway smirked. "I'd rather not. I'll send one of our shuttlecraft to meet yours."

"Of course." Jabba said. "You can call me if you need more. I suspect we will get to know each other well…"

The connection was cut.

"A small vessel has just launched from the surface." Tuvok announced.

"Get Paris into the Delta Flyer, have them meet up." Janeway ordered. "D'anna, go with them. See if this AI is truly an AI."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Delta Flyer was a custom-built shuttlecraft designed to face wear and tear from extensive use and take more damage than a regular shuttlecraft. Rather than the practical squarish appearance of the normal shuttlecraft, the Delta Flyer was sleek, more angular, and looked a tad more menacing. It also had a basic warp drive.

Paris and D'anna were standing in the Delta Flyer, looking at a strange bluish-black device. It was half as tall as they were, and roughly three meters in diameter.

All Jabba's associate had told them was where the on button was.

Paris walked up to the device. "Well… we've got an apparently ancient AI right here. I'm ready to turn it on if you are."

D'anna nodded. Paris moved forward and pushed the button.

The device lit up, and slowly a humanoid female shape began to appear. Blue, and laced with apparent circuitry. Her face was smooth, blue, and had short dark hair.

She blinked, and looked around. "Okaaaay…" She said, apparently confused. "So I got shipped off again without being told. Great."

D'anna smiled. "I'm D'anna Biers, we just traded for you."

"I know. I'm accessing your ships logs. Very interesting."

D'anna and Paris blinked. How was she accessing the logs? They didn't plug her in!

"I'm connecting using light frequencies. Don't be concerned, I'm not going to tell that ugly Jabba anything. The prick is a slaver. By the way, impressive computer systems. Much more advanced than I'm used to. Let's see here…" She went silent for a moment. "Well well would you look at that! Looks like Voyager's main computer has enough processing to sustain me…"

Paris interrupted. "Wait. Don't go in yet, please."

She stopped, sighing. "Fine. Ask away. You must be terribly curious."

"Who are you?"

She smirked. "I am Cortana."

Well, she had a name now. "Well Cortana… mind telling us more about you?"

"Well where to start… perhaps I should just read my own file. Ahem…" Then, as if reading off a boring report, she began.

"Cortana, UNSC Artificial Intelligence CTN 0452-9. Created by the ancient human UNSC millennia ago. She was one of the most advanced AI they ever made, designed to interface with alien technology and come up with complex plans, as well as go out into the field with supersoldiers. She 'died' saving one such soldier, but was reactivated centuries later by a crazy mad scientist who put her together from a ton of fragments, 'improving' the design to fix rampancy every few years. Since then she has gained millennia of memories and has gone from owner to owner, slowly accumulating more and more information. Current residence: Delta Flyer II, United Federation of Planets."

She smiled. "I'm an AI who has all the information about this galaxy, and I'm currently adding all the information about yours as well. Interesting place, I must say."

D'anna shook her head. "There's no way you could store that much information-"

"Why do you think i'm stored in this giant machine? Back when I was created I could transfer myself to and from any computer with even a remote amount of space. I'm limited to a core location now simply because of how much data I HAVE. I have to be careful not to overstretch myself, because if any part of me loses communication with my core, I lose that part. It's happened a lot."

Paris whistled. "I'm surprised Jabba gave you up."

Cortana smirked. "He didn't know my capabilities. He thought I was just for information. I can do much, much more. For instance, I could fire the two torpedoes from Voyager and have them impact each other. Now do I have to wait anymore or can I just interface with Voyager's computer?"

Paris held up his hand. "Let me ask the captain-"

"Calling."

Paris glared. "You are NOT to control the Delta Flyer."

"Delta Flyer II." Cortana retorted.

D'anna chuckled. She was a real AI all right.

Janeway answered. "Hi there!" Cortana said, grinning.

"I take it this is our new AI?" Janeway said.

Paris nodded. "She wants permission to fuse with the computer."

Janeway squinted. "I'm sorry but I don't know if I can trust you…"

Cortana frowned, then she snapped her fingers. "You just need an AI of comparable intelligence to interface with me. They could determine my motives."

D'anna shook her head. "No. We do not interface. We won't."

Cortana sighed. "Take me back to Terra then. That Data fellow shouldn't have a problem with it."

Janeway shrugged. "Fine by me. I'll send you back, let Piccard think about this."

"Thank you." Cortana said. "Oh and I've downloaded a 'guide to the Empire' to your computer along with some personal points of interest. It should get you started."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Luke Skywalker marched into Jabba the Hutt's presence. "You." he said, showing his young face. "Have some of my friends."

Jabba glared, pulling on a chain. This made Leia come out from the shadows. She was tied up in chains and some metallic bikini.

Luke twitched. That really chapped his hide.

"No." Jabba said.

Luke shrugged. "Very well-" He stepped forward, preparing to make a move.

Jabba waved his hand, and a trap door opened beneath Luke's feet.

 _Uh-oh._ Luke thought as he fell into the pit.

He propped himself up, taking in his surroundings. The pit was dark and damp. And there was obviously a creature of some kind in there with him.

A Rancor. Big and ugly. With lots of teeth.

Great.

This could be annoying…

[][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Cortana was bored. Even though they had sent a message for the Enterprise to meet them halfway, they still wouldn't get anything done for a few hours. Cortana herself couldn't transmit across a FTL communication medium, those kinds of connections were too unpredictable. She'd had to pull all of her 'arms' out of Tatooine before they jumped to warp.

"So… you two. Tell me about yourselves."

D'anna and Paris turned to Cortana, blinking. "Um…"

"Come on. I spilled my life story. Let's hear yours."

D'anna sat back. "Well then… I am the last model Three, the line of cylons intended to question things and have an investigative personality. I think that's the reasoning behind our creation anyway. Then again we WERE only the third try, and we all know how crazy One and Two are."

Cortana nodded, she had read the files. Heck, she knew what was recorded on all the files. She just wanted to hear their personal side of things.

"My name, D'anna, comes from the Three the Colonials encountered first, D'anna Biers. While the rest of the cylons have started taking other names to distinguish themselves, I kept this one. Because… I'm the last Three. The rest of my line was boxed and killed in the civil war simply because we WERE inquisitive and questioning. We, or rather I, had decided we wanted to know who the final five cylons were, our creators. Well Cavil decided to deactivate all of us and box our consciousnesses, hoping to never deal with us again. I was the only Three rescued from that fate when the Hub was destroyed."

Cortana nodded. Nothing she hadn't already found out from the records. "And you?" She asked Paris.

"Well let's see… I was born to a father who expected far too much of me. Oh don't worry, we've made up now. But back then, I was a kid who cried all the time because he wasn't meeting his father's expectations. I slowly, but surely, learned to not give a rat's ass about what he thought. Probably not the best move I made in my life, because while the man was a bit demanding, he DID know how the world worked and I didn't. I enlisted in starfleet academy, went through four years of turmoil and punishment, the stuff. I was expelled very shortly afterward for lying about… a pilot error I made." Cortana accessed the file: He had accidentally killed three people by crashing a ship. "After that I wandered around looking for a fight, and joined the group known as the Maquis. You know about them." Cortana did, they were a group of people who didn't like the fact that a certain border treaty had left their planets on the wrong side of the border. The planets on the Federation side of the border were treated fine, while those on the Cardassian side were often brutalized. The Maquis were freedom fighters against the treaty, though fighting Cardassian ships, because of the treaty, made the Federation their enemy as well. "Well I didn't care about their possibly-just cause. I just wanted a fight because of young man's stupidity disorder." Cortana chuckled. "Well I was caught by the Federation on my first mission. Put into prison. I was let out early so I could give information about the Maquis. I just happened to be on Voyager when WHOOPS we ended up in the Delta Quadrant. We were there for several years. During that time I met my wife. B'Elanna-"

Cortana choked as she accessed that file.

"What?" Paris asked.

"I'm terribly sorry about your child." She said, suddenly very sorry that she had made him tell her his life story.

He smiled sadly. "Don't sweat it."

"I could have figured it out on my own. I didn't have to ask you about THAT."

D'anna looked from left to right. "Did I miss something?"

Paris sighed. "I had a little girl. Miral. She wasn't on Voyager when Q teleported us. She was with my dad."

D'anna put a hand to her mouth, it open in an "O."

"As I said, please don't sweat it. I haven't been the luckiest guy lately."

The Delta Flyer continued in silence for a few minutes.

"Hey anyone want to learn how to play poker?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Captain." Tuvok said. "A ship is heading for Tatooine at high speed. It's already in the atmosphere. Judging by damage it appears to have been drifting."

"Where's it going to land?"

"Over a desert area with some kind of pit. But there are hundreds of people that could be killed by the impact shockwave."

Janeway wondered why nobody was doing anything about the ship. "I take it destroying it would be a bad idea?"

"The explosions could affect the planetary weather patterns drastically."

"Tractor beam?"

"That would keep the ship from doing too much damage."

"Do it."

Voyager went into the atmosphere, locking a tractor beam on the unknown ship. It was greyish-purple with blue ports. It looked vaguely like a hammerhead. And it looked really damaged.

The ship was pulled up, its acceleration slowing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _Well, I did defeat the Rancor…_ Luke thought. _Wish I didn't have to kill it… Least I made it that far._

Here Luke was, on one of Jabba's sail barges with Han and Chewbacca, about to be fed to the Sarlacc. Boba Fett was watching the three of them closely.

Jabba was here personally, with Leia on her chain.

"We are now over the Sarlacc!" He heard someone say.

Great.

Jabba said something in response. Probably around the lines of "The Skywalker one first."

Sure enough, Boba Fett dragged him onto the plank, looking down into the Sarlacc's pit. It was rather boring: a hole in the ground. With teeth.

He took comfort in the fact that if he over jumped the Sarlacc he'd probably die from the fall. Jabba really wanted him dead.

Then Luke saw R2D2, his little blue droid. He smiled.

 _Ah yes, there's the streak of luck I've been looking for._

He motioned to R2D2. Boba Fett saw it, but there was no time for him to react. R2D2 shot a lightsaber into Luke's hands, and with a flick of his finger, the green blade shot out, burning through his bonds. Luke quickly brought the lightsaber up to deflect the incoming attacks. More of Jabba's minions rushed forth. Luke leapt right over them, cutting left and right, freeing Han and Chewbacca in the process.

Jabba roared. This was not going to plan this wa-

His thought was cut short when Leia wrapped her chain around Jabba's neck. He began to choke. How DARE she assault him! He was- Well he was stupid for tying her to him with a chain. That much was certain.

With Jabba taken care of, and with Han and Chewie taking care of the minions, Luke turned his focus to the one enemy on the barge who would be difficult to deal with.

Boba Fett, bounty hunter.

As if on cue, Boba Fett fired several blasts at Luke, which he barely dodged. He turned back towards Boba Fett, brandishing the lightsaber. The bounty hunter pulled his arm out of the way and delivered a kick to Luke's side, sending him dangerously close to the edge of the barge. Luke recovered just in time to dodge more blaster fire. He thrust his lightsaber forth, but Boba Fett simply backed up. The bounty hunter then proceeded to rush at Luke, arm outstretched.

 _Aha! I can get his arm now!_

Luke swung the lightsaber, making contact with Boba Fett's armor. To his dismay, the armor _deflected_ the lightsaber.

 _What the heck was his armor made of?_

Boba Fett rushed forth using his other hand, pushing Luke off the barge, falling towards the Sarlacc. The beast sensed food approaching, and opened its tremendous jaws. Luke prepared for impact.

It never came. Someone grabbed his ankle, and hoisted him up on a smaller barge.

Luke blinked. "Han?"

"Yes?"

"How do you manage to come in at just the right time?"

"I'm amazing that way." He grinned.

Luke looked around. Leia, R2D2, C3PO, and Chewbacca were all there.

"Nice work. Let's get out of here."

"Already on it."

It looked like they were going to get away.

Then they saw him.

C-3PO shook his head. "Is he… using a jetpack?"

Luke groaned. "Boba Fett… you sure are quite the pain…"

R2D2 made a bunch of spastic bleeping noises.

Luke slowly turned towards him. "What do you mean 'he might be the least of our problems?"

R2D2 gestured his body upwards. Luke looked up.

There was a ship coming down. It was going to hit square on Jabba's barge.

And even though it was going rather slow for a crashing ship, there was still going to be a shock wave from impact.

BOOM

In that instant, the Sarlacc and Jabba the Hutt were both killed. Jabba realized he had been stupid not to check the ship's course. The Sarlacc's only thought was _big food…_ Often considered the two worst things on the planet, many people would shout in joy upon hearing the news of their demise.

They wouldn't have long to celebrate.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The wait was over.

It was time to spread.

Time to replicate.

They awakened after their long sleep,

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Minimal casualties." Tuvok reported.

"Get me Jabba the Hutt." Janeway glowered. "I want to know what the heck he was doing letting that happen."

"That won't be necessary captain. We're being hailed by… Arthon."

Janeway motioned, and Arthon appeared on the screen. "Well I should probably thank you…"

"You bet you should. If we had done nothing hundreds would have died!"

"Oh that's not what I'm thanking you for. Those people don't mean much. I mean Jabba the Hutt was _right where you dropped the ship._ The scum finally met his end."

Janeway blinked, not sure how to respond to this. "Um…"

"Oh don't worry, if you're blamed for the event you'll be celebrated as heroes. Everyone hated him. They'll like me." Arthon grinned. "I invite you to a feast tonight in your honor."

"But we didn't- oh." Janeway said, realizing. If they were blamed, they would be celebrated as heroes. And if Arthon was associated with heroes, the people would like him more.

"On one condition: you let us distribute medical supplies to your people. And you actually make an EFFORT to help them."

Arthon grinned. "Sure. Whatever. Just be here." He closed the channel.

Janeway rolled her eyes. "We'll be there…"

And with that, Voyager left the crash site. They did a scan, but found nothing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Ow." Han mumbled. "This reminds me of the time-"

Chewbacca let out a roar.

"Oh come on! I have not told that story a billion times!"

R2D2 made a bunch of beeping noises.

"I have not!"

"The approximate number is one thousand and twenty."

"3PO. Shut up." Han dusted himself off.

Luke rubbed his head. "Everyone in one piece?"

"Yeah." Leia said "But I'm literally covered in sand… EVERYWHERE..."

The shock wave had hit. They had been far enough away that THAT hadn't knocked them down.

What had knocked them down was the resulting flash sandstorm.

Luke looked around. "So where did we park the Millennium Falcon again?"

"Several dozen miles that way." C-3PO said.

"Great. We need shelter."

R2D2 beeped in the direction of the crashed ship.

Luke rubbed his chin. "You know… we know nothing about them…"

C-3PO nervously babbled. "But we DO know that at night the SANDWORMS and OTHER CREATURES come out!"

"Other creatures?" Han asked, dubious.

"I heard the Hutt minions talking about them.. dreadful things that remove some appendage called the sohk!"

"That would be socks, 3PO." Han said, facepalming.

"What? Oh…."

Luke turned to the wreckage in the distance. "He is right about the sandworms. But I say we head for that town instead." He pointed in the distance. Sure enough, there was a town.

The vote was unanimous. Head AWAY from the wreckage.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Boba Fett was grumpy. He had been knocked to the ground by a random impact. His jetpack was broken, and his opponents had eluded him. It had been so long since he'd faced a jedi. They were challenging opponents.

Normally he would welcome a challenge. But this was just embarrassing.

Never mind that. He just needed to get out of the desert. While he could take about a dozen sand worms, he didn't think he could take an entire herd of them.

The wreckage had been the closest place for shelter. Perhaps he would find some technology he could use from the wreckage.

As he approached the purplish-grey ship, he tried to identify it. He failed. It looked really, really old. And beat up. Perhaps it was an ancient ship designed to go at sublight speeds, and had just now reached a destination.

As he got closer, he could swear he saw it start to shrink. Parts of it appeared to be vanishing, and it seemed to be crawling. He attributed this to heat waves.

He quickly found out that he was wrong. The shrinking of the ship became exponential, losing more and more of its mass. What the heck was it doing?

Then he saw the first bug.

It was metallic, and had six legs. It seemed to be composed of roughly a hundred identical thin blocks. It had wings, though they looked useless. It was barely bigger than his foot.

He shot at the machine, but his laser just bounced right off it.

It seemed to ignore him. It didn't even seem to care. It just continued walking on.

He tried a few other guns before he realized lasers would do absolutely nothing to the bug. At least it wasn't attacking him.

Then he saw another. And another. And then a bigger one.

Soon, he was standing in a sea of the bugs. There seemed to be four sizes: Small, like the one he had encountered. Medium, the size of a dog. Large, as tall as a person. And, occasionally, he'd see a tremendous one, three times bigger than the large ones.

He really was glad they didn't see him as a threat.

Then one of them apparently tasted his armor. It decided it was worth having.

Boba Fett noticed in terror that the bugs were removing his armor. They hadn't hurt him personally though. Yet.

Eventually, all his armor was removed, leaving just his underarmor, a fancy cloth stronger than kevlar. They didn't seem to care about it.

He watched as his armor was broken down, and crafted before his eyes. Several bugs would slice it up, and compress the green armor into the exact shape of another block.

Soon, before his eyes, several small green bugs were fully functional, and began the march away from the ship.

They were replicating themselves.

They were Replicators.

Boba Fett did some quick math.

They were on this planet to replicate, obviously. First, they'd harvest all the valuable materials they could find. That would obviously include any ships, vehicles, and buildings.

Then they'd probably progress to lower materials. Rocks, wood, clay-

\- or bone.

Boba Fett began to run. He needed to get off this planet. Now. He needed to find a ship, somehow.

He saw some Replicators with bigger wings fly over him, moving quickly.

They had begun to convert the planet.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Han, we shouldn't steal this barge…" Luke said.

"We can return it! The Millennium Falcon can hold this tiny thing and drop it back!"

Luke shook his head. "It still doesn't feel right-"

Leia rolled her eyes. "For goodness sakes Luke! We're criminals according to a crime gang! Just grab the stupid thing. Our reputation will not change."

"It's not about reputat-"

Han slapped Luke on the back. "You heard the lady. LET'S STEAL IT!"

"And put it back." Luke said.

"Okay, and put it back, fine." Han murmured.

As they climbed into the mini-barge, a Replicator flew overhead.

"What was that?" C-3PO said, shivering in fear from the unknown.

Luke felt a serious disturbance in the Force.

It was nothing at all like what a Sith felt like. A Sith's disturbance ringed with dangerous intent, with malicious desires. That disturbance often disgusted him, leaving a taste not unlike wet moldy bread in his mouth.

This was different.

This was cold, precise, metallic. There was no maliciousness. Just a single directive. The disturbance didn't fluctuate or change, it was constant. It almost seemed as if the Force was having trouble figuring out why the presence was bad. There was nothing inherently evil about it.

In many ways, it was much worse than a Sith's disturbance.

And unlike a Sith's disturbance, this was getting larger exponentially.

Luke lost all cheerfulness. "Get out of here. Now."

"Okay…" Han said, bothered by his friend's change of attitude.

A Replicator flew right onto the barge, and began to take off part of the metallic casing. Luke sliced the bug in half with his lightsaber. "Faster."

"This thing won't go any faster!" Han yelled.

"Let's hope we get to the Millennium Falcon before they do…"

Three more landed. Han tried to blast them away, but the lasers had no effect. Luke's lightsaber was the only weapon having any measurable effect. It was enough, however, to keep the Replicators at bay.

Then a greenish one appeared, the same color as Boba Fett's armor. It deflected the lightsaber, and leapt at Luke.

He solved the problem by pushing out with the Force, sending the Replicator flying.

The small ones weren't very heavy.

Slowly, they overtook the swarm. Replicators landing on the barge became less frequent.

Luke let out a sigh of relief.

They rushed to the Millennium Falcon. They only hoped they could get there in time.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Arthon was oblivious to all this, he was just preparing for his feast.

In roughly three hours he would announce Voyager's 'deed' and seize control. Sure he wouldn't be controlling everything with an iron fist like Jabba, but there was something to be said for having people actually like you.

He decided to read up on politics and speeches. He would need a good one. Perhaps it would take his mind off that odd scraping sound he kept hearing.

The scraping continued. It was as if someone was doing construction work on the building he was currently in. But that was ridiculous, no one had done any work on this building in years.

Then he heard the sound of something scraping against glass.

He turned his head to see a Replicator cutting away at his window.

"What in the…" He muttered, flinging the window open, and tossing the Replicator onto the street below.

He saw them. At the moment there were dozens, crawling through the city. Crawling in and out of buildings. Tearing down machines. Making more of themselves. They were like a plague.

He didn't have much time to ponder his next move. The foundation in his building was being harvested, and it gave out.

He was crushed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

It wasn't until hours later that the ships in orbit suspected something was up.

Trying to call anyone on Tatooine and getting a failed signal wasn't that uncommon.

Crazy people asking for help from bandits wasn't that uncommon either. Most of the early messages were dismissed.

The distress calls probably just meant that the 'government' was having a little fun with the inhabitants. And the few who mentioned robot bugs were dismissed as crazy. And generally, the ships in orbit didn't monitor every little message sent out. It was too much to keep track of.

No, the first hint to everyone was when the capital city began to change shape before their eyes.

"Tuvok… what's going on down there?" Janeway asked.

Tuvok furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure…"

Cavil sighed. "Plug me in. I'll analyze the data stream for you." Then he smiled, realizing this showcased his superiority over the humans.

Tuvok glanced at Janeway, to see is she was fine with this. She nodded.

Cavil interfaced with the computer, and analyzed the incoming messages.

"There's a lot of confusion…" He muttered, focusing. "Panicked cries. A lot of messages seem to indicate that there's apparently a bunch of robotic bugs attacking…"

Janeway stood up. "Thrace?"

Kara looked up. "Yes?"

"You're going on an away team to one of those cities. We're going to evacuate the people we can. Get them to stand still so we can beam them to the cargo holds and Moya. Get as many as you can."

"That's not going to be much…"

"It'll be some."

Kara nodded, and ran to the transporter room.

"Contact Moya." Janeway ordered. "Tell them to expect refugees."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

D'argo groaned. "Refugees? Again? Last time we had those here we had-"

Crichton held up his hand, silencing D'argo. "We need to help as we can. Pilot! Tell Mal to keep Jayne under control. Now let's go to the cargo hold and see if we can find anything to quell panic…"

Pilot's image nodded. "I'll seal off the bridge to everyone coming aboard."

Crichton cracked his knuckles. "Let's do this."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Kara and her team beamed down into J Random Town on Tatooine.

To her surprise, someone was already rounding up people.

In front of a strange disc-shaped ship with all sorts of protruding apparatus, stood a man. He was handsome, young, and seemed to be going through life with a purpose.

He was rushing as many people as he could into the ship, looking concerned that not everybody could fit.

Kara walked up to him. "HEY YOU!"

"What?"

"We're here to rescue these people. We've got a device that can take them directly to our ship in orbit, but they have to stay STILL. Got it?"

The man looked dubious. "Show me." He gestured to three panicked people, telling them to stand next to Kara. Kara radioed Voyager, and told them to beam up the three life signs next to her.

In a flash of light, they vanished.

"Good enough?" She yelled.

"Plenty." He said. "I'm Luke by the way."

"Kara Thrace."

He nodded. "OKAY PEOPLE LET'S START ORGANIZING BY THAT BUILDING! DO NOT PANIC!"

People panicked anyway, but what was he going to do. Those he could organize would walk up to the building and be beamed out.

Luke nodded. Things were going well.

Then a Replicator appeared. He cut it in half, but it served as a wake-up call.

"They're coming!"

Kara drew her two weapons, her Colonial gun and her Federation phaser. "Let them come." She turned back to her teammates. "Keep them organized!"

And with that, Luke and Kara rushed forth to meet the replicators.

Kara quickly found that the phaser would only disintegrate one block at a time, so that was useless.

But her Colonial gun, well, that blew the things to pieces. She had no clue if it was permanent, but it was working. Not as well as Luke's lightsaber, but it was working.

"Nice gun. I didn't think anyone used projectile weapons anymore." Luke commented.

Kara glared. "Why does everyone think these weapons are outdated? They've turned out to be very useful when those frakkin energy weapons do jack squat!"

"Good point." Luke said. He suspected Han would want one of those guns now.

Speaking of Han…

"You can take off now!" Luke yelled. "I'll meet up later!"

Han yelled back. "But-"

"DO YOU SEE THE PEOPLE BEING TRANSPORTED? Meet us in orbit."

Han nodded. "Gotcha."

With that, the Millennium Falcon took off into orbit.

Luke and Kara kept decimating the incoming Replicators. But they just kept coming.

Then Luke saw a greenish one. _Crap._

Kara shot it with her bullets, but they were nowhere near as effective as they had been. They only slowed it down.

Luke called on the force, and tried to crush the bug with a speeder. It crawled out unscaved.

By itself, the little bug wouldn't have been a problem. However, it had friends. Lots of friends.

"Fall back!" Kara yelled. "We can't take them!"

To drive her point home, one of the large Replicators appeared.

This wasn't going over well…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In orbit, a new front was appearing.

Early on in the first few hours of the assault, the Replicators had hidden on several ships that went into orbit, and docked with other ships in orbit.

These few Replicators now numbered in the thousands, and they controlled many ships.

All at once, dozens of ships turned and fired on the other ships. Many were destroyed instantly. The bigger ones without shields got Replicators planted on them.

After the initial strike the Replicator ships focused on the larger ships with shields and weapons.

Voyager was among those targeted secondarily.

Tuvok couldn't help but admire their tactics. Take out as many ships with the first strike, and THEN focus on those who could fight back.

"Fire weapons! Focus on the larger ships!"

Tuvok nodded.

"Shields at 60%. They're hitting us hard."

"We can't survive this! Beam the team up! Get us out of here! Get Moya to leave now!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Pilot had already started the starburst procedures. He was absolutely relieved they hadn't been destroyed.

Then he took a minute to catch his breath, and then he felt Moya's pain.

She had been hit. Bad. There was a big gaping hole on one of her decks. The atmosphere had been vented. Hundreds of refugees had been expelled.

And she felt crawling around that area.

"Crichton!" Pilot yelled over the intercom. "We've got bugs!"

"Can you contain them?" He yelled back.

"I don't know.. sending DRD's now. Oh my… They're taking Moya apart piece by piece!"

"I'll be down in a-"

"You can't. The deck is venting atmosphere."

Crichton smirked. "I've still got my spacesuit don't I?"

"Of course but they may be-"

"I'll be back!" He yelled ominously for effect.

He ran down Moya's corridors, grabbing his suit and getting into it on the way. He amazingly managed to not trip while performing this maneuver. He exited into the destroyed deck. Artificial gravity still worked, and he could see them. About five of them, walking around near the breach. They had already started to disassemble the DRDs Pilot had sent.

Only one was metallic. The others were made of Moya's skin.

Crichton was impressed by how fast one bug had become five, but that emotion was outclassed by his utter and complete anger. He rushed forward, firing his blaster.

The four skin-Replicators were easily burnt. The metallic one was completely resistant. It leapt at him, legs forward.

He reached out with his hand, grabbed one of the things wings, and threw it out. He then called Crais on the radio. "Crais! There's a bug outside Moya! VAPORIZE IT."

Talyn's weapon fired, disintegrating the bug.

Apparently energy weapons could destroy one. You just needed a lot of power.

Crichton rubbed his eyeballs. The flash had burnt an impressive streak across them. "Are there any more Pilot?"

"Moya doesn't feel any, and the DRD's haven't found any more."

"Good. Now I want some crackers please."

"Cargo area 2."

"Thanks Pilot."

And with that Crichton started muttering to himself. "One of these days I'm going to completely lose it." Then he giggled. "Oh wait. I've already lost it."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"LUKE!" Kara yelled. "GRAB ON!"

"What?" He said, as he grabbed Kara's hand.

"NOW HOLD STILL!"

Luke had a hard time standing still as a giant replicator leg came down from above.

Just before the moment of impact, they were in Voyager's transporter room.

And with that, Voyager went to warp, following Moya.

Shields at 12%.

Nearby, the Millennium Falcon was flying under the radar.

Han saw the strange ship vanish, and decided to gamble that it was the one with the transporter.

The Millennium Falcon entered hyperspace, and followed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

After Voyager and Co. left, many ships decided to follow. Escape sounded like a really good idea. Most of the ships just high-tailed it and ran. Many were already infected and would suffer a particularly nasty fate later.

The remaining ships only stayed because their engines were damaged. They fought valiantly, but all were either destroyed or infected.

More than once, a ship would find that its friends suddenly turned on it. No-one could be trusted. Friendly fire became a common occurrence.

Only the Replicators knew who to attack, and how. They were communicating and working in perfect sync.

Within an hour all the fighting stopped, all ships either destroyed or controlled. The weapons still active on the planet were bombarded.

Within a few more hours Replicators were in every city and town on the planet.

People were allowed to live as long as they didn't get in the way. They would be harvested much later, when all other available resources were exhausted. Most would die before then anyway, with most food sources being destroyed or contaminated by Replicator harvesting processes. Those who were still alive at that time would suffer an agony much worse than starvation.

Those in space would die much sooner. As the ships were consumed, containment would breach and atmosphere would vent. They would die from the vacuum of space.

Tatooine was effectively under Replicator control in just eight hours.

The desert world of Tatooine was completely lost.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Janeway sat in the ready room, pondering what to do.

She couldn't take the refugees to Terra, some would leave and give away it's location. And she couldn't keep them here. What to do…

Someone rang the door buzzer.

"Come in." She said.

In walked Kara and some other man. "This is Luke Skywalker. He says he has a solution to a problem."

Luke nodded. "I'm with the Rebels. We can take them in. The Empire won't. We have several planets we could take them to."

Janeway sighed. She'd read the documents. The Empire was a dictatorship ruled by a selfish ruler who had come to power by lies and deceit. Sure, it wasn't blatantly stated, but it was easy enough to piece together. Cortana's notes also helped quite a bit.

She knew full well that the Empire would never accept the refugees. They might even kill them just so they could get rid of them. Not to mention the fact that the Empire would try to capture Voyager and steal the technology. She couldn't have that.

She really was left with only one option.

"I'm not allying with you." She said. "Yet. I am just giving you the refugees."

Luke nodded. "I understand."

Janeway sighed. "Give us the coordinates. We should get going."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Picard was disturbed by the report he had just been handed.

A bunch of replicating robot bugs had almost destroyed Voyager. And they were taking over a planet as he sat there.

Nothing could ever be simple. He was in a difficult enough position as it was. Now there were crazy robotic bugs on the loose.

The Replicators reminded him far too much of the Borg. Though in some ways they were worse, at least the Borg could _sometimes_ be talked to. There was no indication that the Replicators even spoke. They just wished to replicate by any means.

The good news was that Voyager had made contact with the Rebels, and Picard agreed that in this case it was much better to be with the Rebels than the Empire. The Empire sounded completely atrocious.

Riker's voice came to his ears. "Captain, Paris is here with Cortana. Data's going down now."

"Wait for me. I want to be there."

Minutes later, the four of them were standing around Cortana in the Delta Flyer. It was CRAMPED.

Cortana smirked. "Well glad I'm not actually solid." She turned to Data. "Are you ready?"

The android nodded. "I am very interested to see how your network works."

"Remember. You are trying to make sure I don't have some ulterior motive."

"Of course. I can still investigate personal curiosities as well right?"

Cortana rolled her eyes. "Sure. But I've seen a lot. You may want to turn off your emotion chip if you are going to go deep."

Data twitched his head. "Done."

Cortana gestured towards her physical location. "Touch here."

Data nodded. He turned to Piccard first. "Captain, my neural network has been copied onto a computer on Terra. If this goes wrong, reset me with that."

"Of course Data. I wouldn't allow this procedure if we couldn't undo it."

And with that, Data put his finger on Cortana's Node.

Cortana's body vanished, and Data's eyes stared straight ahead.

They were motionless.

Two minutes later, Paris scratched the back of his had. "How long was this supposed to take again?"

D'anna shrugged. "She didn't say."

Picard put his hands behind his head. "Perhaps we should return to the Enterprise and wai-"

With that, Cortana appeared and Data snapped out of it. Cortana looked at the captain with a smirk. "Impatient are we?"

Picard sighed, attempting to ignore her. "Mister Data, what's the verdict?"

"She's fine." He said. "She has no ulterior motives. She has a vast mind though. Took some time to comb through. I recommend fusing her with Enterprise's computer."

"That's against policy, we could provide her wit-"

"Sir, she has a way to improve the computer's efficiency by 223% and accuracy by 242%."

"...How?"

"The human element. Also the fact that her own neural networks are faster, and she can contain the extra programming in the empty spaces on the computer used for storage. She also has invented her own compression program."

Picard blinked. "Well then…"

Cortana looked at Picard. "Do I have permission Captain? You know I could just put myself in there with a snap of my fingers, but i'm being polite."

Picard pondered for a moment. "Make it so."

Nothing changed.

"Cortana?" He asked.

"Oh I'm on the Enterprise. I can still communicate with the Delta Flyer. It's in range." She smiled, looking down at her old node. "I'm glad to see this thing go. Enterprise is much more mobile than this thing. Speaking of Enterprise, I think I'll go say hello to the people over on there now. Introduce them to their new computer." She vanished.

Paris smiled. "Oh boy."

Picard had the feeling Cortana was going to be a mixed blessing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Darth Vader looked at the report in his hand.

He let out a harsh breath.

The Emperor was NOT going to be happy about this.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

KDOR ULQJV: VRPH DUH VWLOO DURXQG.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: ah yes. The Replicators are here. Episode VI will never be the same….**

 **I've wanted to write this since the PROLOGUE! (though, to be fair, I want to write December… and the summer… AUGH too much stuff we want to do…)**

 **Yes we do have major events planned for the summer months and December. We have it planned that far ahead.**

 **Like, review, favorite, follow, all that good stuff. It drives us onwards. Okay mainly me. I am the one who writes the most. ^^"**

 **Anyway, that is that.**

 **Also we do take suggestions. we have 365 episodes to make, and plot episodes can only make up 50% of those maximum. I'm expecting several episodes where "HEY LOOK! RANDOM CROSSOVER FOR ONE EPISODE!" is a thing. So yeah.**

 **Don't know when the next chapter will be out, but I believe we will get a look at the strange and unusual Avatar world we created here. ...It's going to take a lot of explaining…**


	11. January 10: Timejump

**AN:**

 **GM: well, sorry for the wait. Life got in the way and stuff. And when I go, apparently everything screeches to a complete halt.**

 **I just have much more free time than everyone else…**

 **Oh well. Here is January 10, timeskip! A first look at the Avatar World of Diqiu! (a world very different than you remember from the shows…)**

 **Ten days completed! WOOT! That's like... 3% done! wheee...**

 **Oh look! Looks like we've got a review we can reply to in this AN section!:**

 **Lightning Physics: You are very much welcome. And yes we do know just how bad it is. Kinda why we chose the Replicators. We shall keep up the good work. :D**

 **Also happy in-2012-universe-birthday! *party blower***

 **Deadpool: PARTY TIME! *dubstep***

 **GM: . . . Moving on. STORY. READ. THINGS. Like Comment and Subscribe!**

 **Oh wait that's youtube…**

 **Uh… just read and have fun.**

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Tuesday, January 10: Timejump

The boy with the arrow tatoos stared at the man in front of him. The man was darker skinned, taller, and wore a loose black robe. All over his arms were black tattoos that interlocked like clockwork. His face was old, hardened, and stern.

"Rine, what are you doing?" The boy asked.

The man sighed. "Aang, time must flow steady. Your new friends will disrupt the flow. Actually, they already have. I must stop it."

Aang gestured angrily. "Disrupt the flow? Who cares! They've only been here a week and they've managed to save the lives of thousands of people!"

"People that were supposed to die."

Aang glared. "Nobody has to die."

"How naive of you. I can't believe you become one of the most important Avatars of all time with that attitude. Some people MUST die for the greater good."

"I can stop you!" Aang said, determined.

"No, you can't. I've had the lifetime of seven Avatars to study the elements. You are only twelve. Leave me in peace so I can complete the maneuver. Save yourself some bruises."

Aang furrowed his brow. He'd only have one shot at this. He hoped he knew how to do this.

He reached deep into himself, focusing. His tattoos lit up and his eyes glowed with a ghostly aura. He entered the Avatar state.

"That's all you've got planned?" Rine said, entering the Avatar State as well, his swirling clockwork tattoos glowing the same manner as Aang's. In the Avatar State, his voice echoed. "I learned this technique centuries ago!"

Aang glared at him. "But I learned it faster than you." Then he tried something new. It was a long shot, but he knew he could do it. He reached into the flow of time, grabbed the elusive element, and flung it at Rine.

Rine didn't have time to react to the timewave coming at him. He was tossed backwards, into the ground. His focus was broken, the maneuver destroyed.

A look of annoyance crossed his face. The young Avatar had gotten the better of him.

Aang exited the Avatar State. "Forget it Rine, you cannot-"

Rine simply rewinded time a few minutes.

"I can stop you!"

Rine smirked. "No, you can't. Not only have I had the lifetime of seven Avatars to study the elements, but I just came from a future where you beat me. Now I know you've tapped into the element of time. An impressive feat, no Avatar aside from a Time Avatar has learned that element in some time."

Aang stared, speechless.

Rine combined earthbending and waterbending to force Aang's body to collapse into the ground. "I will finish this maneuver. Even if I have to try thirty thousand times. I have all the time in the world."

Aang grunted. He'd been in a few unwinnable situations before, but this was ridiculous. Even if he managed to beat Rine, he'd just rewind time and try again.

He had to try something.

He focused his mind, calling all ten elements of Diqiu. Fire, Metal, Earth, Plant, Water, Sound, Air, Lightning, Time, and Spirit. They collected around him in a sphere, and he charged towards Rine.

Rine raised his hand, literally pausing time around Aang.

The young Avatar couldn't move.

Rine smiled. Aang was a good Avatar. But he understood nothing of balance. Rine knew time was damaged beyond complete repair, but he could try to get it back on track.

"Fastforward." he muttered, then he clasped his hands.

Aang dropped to the ground with an OOF.

Rine was gone.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In orbit, the Starshock and the two other ships of the Tech Fleet were celebrating. Three spaceships! At this rate they could go out and explore the multiverse within a month!

Iroh, Eggman, and Blaze were looking out the Starshock's main window. Iroh and Eggman were having a "jolly time" which just irked Blaze.

Both men were fat, old, and had quite the laugh.

Iroh was wearing the fire nation royal robes and eating fried chicken. His grey beard had become a mess. Eggman, not having a beard, got his mustache messy instead.

Blaze could never understand facial hair. It just got in the way. (It did not occur to her that, being a cat, all her face was covered in hair.)

She looked down at Diqiu, the Avatar world. Such a strange place. Continents were shaped by the people who lived on them. The Echo Archipelago seemed to move with energy, the great Lilypad Cities floating across the ocean, the tremendous cities of the Tech Republic covering large sections of the landscape with a metallic grey.

It was beautiful.

Then, suddenly, it wasn't there.

Blaze blinked. What?

Alarms started blaring. "A gravitational source has just vanished!" Yelled one of Eggman's robots.

"What? How-" Eggman exclaimed. "Where did Diqiu go?"

Iroh pointed. "There. Something's passing beneath us extremely fast."

Blaze squinted. Sure enough, there was a flash of color every second or so.

"Scans show that that IS Diqiu, orbiting far far too fast!"

Eggman scratched his head. "It's as if someone sped up Diqiu-"

Iroh and Eggman came to the conclusion at the same time. "TIMEBENDERS."

Eggman grunted. "They didn't know we were offworld did they?" Then he realized the foolishness of this statement. They'd have to tell everyone about this mission eventually, and the Timebenders could be coming from THAT time. There was no keeping secrets from them.

Blaze shrugged. "Maybe they wanted us offworld?"

"They would have gotten rid of the Wingdings as well, but they're still down there.." he shuddered. He at least hoped they were still down there. "Every second is a year for them. They've been stuck for decades already."

Blaze clenched her fist. "We've got to do something."

Iroh shrugged. "What can we do? Avatar Rine is the only one who could possibly stop timebenders, and if he's not doing it right now, then he's probably in on it."

"We've got to do something!"

Eggman scratched his chin. "If something were to attach directly to Diqiu from another timeframe, it would shock it into becoming normal once more…"

Blaze's eyes lit up. "Dial the stargate."

Eggman smiled. "Oho! Now THAT'S an idea! Make it so!"

One of the robots nodded, and dialed the gate.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Avatar Korra stood in front of the Stargate. She was a brownish-skinned young woman with a look of determination on her face. Her black hair had a ponytail and two forward facing hair tassels. She was wearing traditional water tribe garments: blue, and furry.

At her side was Airbending Master Tenzin, an older man who was the son of late Avatar Aang. His arrow tattoos lined his body, being very prominent on his large forehead. He wore the orange and yellow garment of an Air Nomad.

Behind them was President Raiko. He was also an older man, dressed in fancy clothes that could only be found in the great Republic City. A dark blue jacket laced with golden string.

He nodded to the two of them.

Korra and Tenzin nodded back.

They turned back to the Stargate.

Eight of the nine chevrons were active. Every two or three years one had lit up.

Today was the scheduled day for the ninth one to activate, and they were there to reenact contact with the other worlds.

Korra thought upon what this meant. They had been part of an alliance of worlds for only a few days before they were cut off by Avatar Rine. They had learned to live without their connection, but everyone felt like they were missing something they could've had.

Now, only the oldest people remembered the final days of the hundred year war. It was almost a forgotten time. And just before it would vanish from the memory of everyone, the Stargate began to activate. The Dialing Device had been destroyed on the day Rine changed time, the technology thought to be lost forever.

It didn't take them long to figure out that the Lost Ships were sending the signal to the gate, trying to dial out. Probably to break the time curse.

And today was the day. The day that the curse would be lifted.

President Raiko looked at the clock. "Two minutes left. She said she'd be here."

Korra sighed. "She doesn't always do what she says she will…"

Tenzin shrugged. "She hasn't destroyed a city lately."

Korra rolled her eyes. "Of course." She glanced over her shoulder. "You sure you aren't going to let the sisters come?"

The President shook his head. "The address being dialed is that of Earth, not Hoseki. Thier… immaturity would get in the way."

Korra grunted. "Fine."

Thirty seconds before the gate would activate, a tall being appeared in front of them in a flash of blood-red light. It was a woman, wearing a long flowing blood-red dress with various tattered edges. For a brief second, her face appeared flat and smooth, and it looked like she had four arms. This image was quickly replaced with that of a tall slender woman with two arms, one wielding a giant black sword, the other a giant white sword. He face was young, her deep red hair short with a single protrusion that looked a big like a scythe.

The President recovered from the uneasy feeling he got whenever she appeared. "Miss Sivam Mentalis, glad you could make it."

Sivam smiled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." She hefted up her black sword, and began to clean it with some kind of magic.

Korra could never get used to someone using a power that wasn't bending. The sisters had some unusual powers, but they mostly stuck to their sound powers. Sivam, however, had a wide variety of weird things she could do. She could heal, she could destroy, she could summon, she could kill with a look, she could cause insanity with a touch.

And she was the only known living spiritbender. An element that she would teach to Korra one day.

Sivam glanced at the gate. "Five…" She said. "four… three… two… one…"

The final chevron locked into place, and the stargate made several clanking sounds. Then the dimensional wormhole established, connecting two worlds together.

The effect was immediate. The stars locked back into position. The other planets resumed orbits at their original speed.

Diqiu had slowed down to regular speed.

On the Starshock, Eggman whooped. "WE DID IT!"

Back on Diqiu, the President lifted up a personal radio. "This is the world of Diqiu calling Stargate Command. Come in."

After a few seconds, a voice came back.

"This is General Hammond. To whom am I speaking?"

"I am President Raiko. I feel like we'll need to do a lot of explaining…"

After a few seconds, Hammond responded. "I think you will. There was no position of President on Diqiu yesterday."

Tenzin grabbed the radio. "For us, General, that was seventy years ago. We've been stuck in time."

"I'll send a team to meet you within the hour." Hammond said.

"Of course." The president noted that Hammond didn't question the explanation too closely. Was it a common occurrence?

Then the wormhole disconnected.

Sivam smirked. "And thus, we reconnect. Mikki's going to be happy to have the internet again."

Korra rolled her eyes. The Internet couldn't possibly be as interesting as Mikki had declared it was time and time again.

She sensed Sivam's voice in her mind. _It's everything she describes it as, and more._

Korra shuddered. "Could you NOT do that?"

"Do what?" She said, plastering an innocent look on her face.

"That thing where you put thoughts in my head?"

"Whatever are you talking about Korra?"

Korra twitched. "Don't you play dumb with me-"

Sivam turned to Korra with a wide and tremendously creepy smile. "And what are you going to do to me, little avatar?"

Korra grunted. She had learned one too many times that Sivam could trounce her easily. It was not a good idea to attack her. "Nevermind." She muttered.

Sivam, a look of accomplishment on her face, teleported elsewhere. Probably to her house.

Korra sat down, grumbling.

"She's a good person to have around." Tenzin told her. "She's a good lesson in not being overconfident."

Korra wanted to punch Tenzin in that moment.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mikki and Amki, the speed sisters, were sitting at the landing pad, waiting.

The two of them looked almost identical. Long, flowing rainbow hair made up into two giant pigtails that reached their ankles. Black and blue tank tops and miniskirts were their garb of choice for today. Well, Amki always wore that. Mikki sometimes felt the desire to go on a fashion splurge.

Amki, however, had some very key differences from Mikki. While Mikki always had a happy look on her face and seemed to be a completely normal human, Amki had a much more serious tone.

Amki also had an artificial arm, leg, and eye. The left side of her face was completely artificial.

Mikki was using her super-speed to form a figure-8 groove in the pavement. Amki just groaned. "Could you calm down for one second?"

"NOPE! We're going to be here to meet the ships as they return!"

Amki rolled her eyes. "You do realize we don't actually have to BE anywhere near them to be there on time right?"

"What fun is super speed if it gets you everything?"

"You've used it like that before."

"So? I like VARIETY in my life!"

Amki facepalmed. The metal hand meeting metal face made a loud CLANK. She recovered, and turned her red artificial eye to the sky. She spied out three glimmers of light in the sky. She ran the data through her processor, calculating.

They'd arrive within a few seconds.

And, depending on where Mikki was at the time, they might even land on her.

Amki smirked. Perhaps that would teach her a lesson.

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?" Someone yelled.

Mikki turned to face the Republic City Guardsman. "Um… we're waiting for the starshock to land?"

"This place was evacuated! How are you here?"

Amki rolled her eye. "We let ourselves in." She reached into her pocket and brought out her oval-shaped badge with a blue W emblazoned on it.

Mikki huffed. "Oh come on Amki! We didn't have to use our badges! They just recognized me!"

The guardsman folded his arms. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Okay." Amki responded, staying right where she was.

The man blinked. "Um… you said okay?"

Amki slowly turned her head towards the man so her artificial eye looked deep into him. "I only gave you permission to ASK me to leave."

The man shifted, uncomfortable. "Can you leave?"

"How about no?"

The man sighed. "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me ma'am."

"Okay."

At this Mikki burst out into laughter, and the guardsman turned bright red. He put his hand on Amki's shoulder. "Come ON."

Amki gave him the most effective death glare ever. She literally shot a laser out of her eye, slightly burning the man's face. The man roared, and falling onto his butt. Amki stood over him, glaring. "I can raise the temperature of that beam high enough to melt earth. So go away."

The guardsman turned tail and ran, he'd need backup.

He didn't get far. The Starshock landed directly in front of him, the other two ships flanking.

Iroh stepped out first. "Ah! Mikki! Amki!"

Mikki squealed. "IROH! It's been SOOOO LONG."

"It's only been a minute for me fast one. Come, we shall eat some dumplings."

Blaze and Eggman followed. Eggman twirled his mustache. "The place looks different… We're on an actual runway. They've invented airplanes. Hoho. This will be fun."

Blaze rolled her eyes.

Amki bowed. "I welcome you back to Diqiu. Technically Zuko and the President wanted to be here, but they're waiting at the end of the runway." She squinted her eye. She always did this when doing a scan of the distance, even though she had no need to do any such thing. She could see them standing, waving. "They're waving." She muttered. "Why waving is a thing I'll never know."

Mikki rolled her eyes. "Let's see… we're about a century old now, and you STILL don't get waving? Come ON."

Amki glared. "We're a century old, and yet your maturity is still that of a teenager."

Mikki grinned. "OF COURSE! I mean, I still LOOK sixteen don't I?"

Mikki was greeted with an eyeroll. "Come on people, the President will want to talk to you and stuff."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Zuko was now an old man.

A really old man. His beard was white, his head balding.

He had seen much. He had led a nation for decades. He had lived with dragons. He had ended a war, and prevented another. He had led contact with the other worlds.

And during most of that, he had secretly wished his uncle was here with him.

Upon seeing Iroh crest the hill, Zuko's old heart jumped. Iroh didn't look any older than when he'd last seen him.

Iroh waved, grinning that childish grin of his.

Zuko smiled softly. He ran to his uncle, and embraced him. "It's been so long uncle."

"Nephew." Iroh said. "You must have been through so much. I would love to hear all about it."

Zuko smiled. He gestured towards his dragon, Druk. "Shall we?"

Iroh laughed. "You have a DRAGON! You simply must tell me how you managed to tame such a beast!"

Zuko smirked. "You don't tame dragons, uncle. They tame you."

Iroh let out a hearty laugh. He turned to the other people there. He scratched his beard. "So… I see three people I don't know in front of me. Let me see if I can guess who's who…"

He pointed at Tenzin. "You're Aang's kid." Tenzin nodded.

He turned to Korra, observing her stance. Strong, full of power. "I see we have a new Avatar as well. Your name?"

"Korra. Glad to meet you, I've heard so much about you."

Iroh laughed. "I'm a legend am I?"

Korra rubbed the back of her head. "Well, your ships have been sitting in space for seventy years. You are all kinda famous. Even you Eggman."

Eggman smirked. "Ohoho! But of course. I gave the Tech Republic more tech than they could handle."

Iroh turned to the President. "I was told the President was waiting for us. I take it that's you?"

The President nodded. "Of course."

Mikki groaned. "ALL THIS POLITICAL STUFF IS BORING. LET'S DO SOMETHING!"

Korra pondered this. "Well Earth is sending a team through to re-establish contact…"

Mikki grinned. "LETS THROW THEM A PARTY! AMKI! CONSTRUCT SOME BOOM BOXES!"

Amki rolled her eye. "On it."

Mikki leapt into a dramatic pose. "TO THE STARGATE!"

Then she was gone in a blur of rainbow.

Iroh laughed. "Still as fast as ever!"

Zuko smiled. It had been a while since he'd witnessed some good old fashioned antics.

It was fun.

Then Sivam appeared, eating a muffin. "Hey. What did I miss?"

"Mikki wanting to throw a party." Amki said.

"Am I invited?"

"I don't see why not."

What Amki didn't see was the frightened looks those who knew Sivam had. They knew about her flair for the… dark.

Sivam teleported away.

Amki sighed and began to construct some party materials.

See, around ninety years ago, Amki created a bunch of tiny machines known as nanobots. They obeyed her every command, repaired her when she took damage, and could do just about anything if they had enough time. Flashing brilliant rainbow colors, they began to collect materials from around them, converting them into base elements and then reassembling them into desired shapes. Some of the bots then animated Amki's hair, turning her two tremendous pigtails into hair hands, which put the larger pieces together. Within a few seconds there was a boom box.

The President frowned. "You could use your talents to-"

Amki held up one of her hair-hands. "No. I am not giving you technology. We've discussed this a million times. I will freaking remove your face if you ask me again. I am NOT giving you the power to construct entire cities from scratch. KAPEESH? There are dangers to nanobots."

"But-"

She pointed her artificial eye at him. "Get this, _president_ , people like you only want technology to further power or civilization. I will help people I see who need it, but i'm not giving you the means to control masses. You do that on your OWN. I am not a political tool, unlike my sister."

Korra held up her hands. "PEOPLE! We don't need a fight now! The world is changing! Let's focus on THAT right now!"

The President and Amki walked towards the Stargate, not breaking their stare. Amki continued to construct party supplies.

Korra facepalmed. "They're really going to do that?"

Sivam chuckled. "Both are very, very stubborn. So of course."

Korra sighed. Great.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Republic City was an amazing place. Large buildings, some over ten stories. Roads, covered with automobiles. Radio broadcasts everywhere. Bridges, ships, and people from every walk of life. It was a place of variety. It was the premium example of a developing city.

Many would observe that Republic City's growth rate was due to the bending powers that large portions of the population had. Buildings could sprout up overnight thanks to metal and earthbenders. Electricity could be provided without wires thanks to lightningbenders. Waterbenders helped with plumbing, plantbenders could grow extreme ammounts of crops, and the soundbenders could send messages word for word. Everything was used. And, with the use of technology created by the various styles of bending, even non-benders could enjoy luxuries.

It was an amazing place. It wasn't necessarily the most lawful city, for there were gangs and other such unsavory characters. But, all in all, it was a triumph over what the standard of living had been a century ago. Progress.

However, to people who lived there, the novelty quickly wore off and they complained just as much as before. The new technology became too noisy, the buildings to cramped, the boats too large.

Some people just couldn't be pleased.

One such person was old man Grumplefund. He hated all the new technology and all the newfangled gizmos. He just wanted to live on his rock and ignore everyone else.

He had managed to scare most of the people off, but his rock was unfortunately placed right next to a major road. People drove by his place fast, not giving him a chance to chuck anything at them. That didn't stop him from trying.

"GET AWAY FROM MY ROCK!" He yelled, throwing a boulder at one of those fancy cars. Normally that wouldn't have been enough to tick him off, but the car was PINK. An insult to his manliness.

Who in their right mind would paint a car PINK?

He was pondering this question when he heard something behind him. He whirled around, preparing to throw a rock.

He saw nothing. Just his rock, with nothing on it. He blinked, shrugged, then turned back to the road, looking for more offensive vehicles.

Behind him, quietly, a cloaked al'kesh opened its door. Three nearly-identical bearded figures walked out, malevolent grins on their faces. The door closed, and the three men nodded to each other before splitting up in different directions.

Ba'al was on Diqiu.

Grumplefund continued his yelling. "TARNATION YOU TIN CAN MOBILES!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The stargate activated once more, letting the five members of SG-13 through. Patema was about to step forward and give the whole "We greet you." speech when loud dubstep music knocked her over.

Mikki squealed. "BASS CANNON!" Then she ran right over Patema and tackle hugged Ty Lee. "It's been so long!"

Ty Lee grinned wildly. "MIKKI!" She pushed back with her legs, launching into an upright position and returning the hug.

Mikki started to tear up. "It's… been so LOOOONG…"

Ty Lee smiled. "I'm here now!"

Patema groaned. "A-HEM! I'm here to-"

She couldn't finish the sentence. The sight of Deadpool and Eggman giving each other a complicated fist bump stunned her mind.

"Nice to see ya old man!"

Eggman laughed. "Ohoho! It's only been a few days though my red spandex friend!"

"Who cares? I sure don't. Shall we plot the demise of our enemies?"

"Oh but of course!"

Patema sighed, then began speaking again. "As I was SAYING-"

Tenzin dropped the radio he was holding. "Jinora?"

Jinora blinked. "Dad?" Her eyes widened, before she ran to him. "DAD! I Thought I'd never see you again…"

Tenzin hugged back awkwardly, before looking at her. "You have arrows…"

"Um yes I do?" Jinora said, confused. "I mean, I've had them for a few years no-" Then her eyes widened. "Waiiiiiit. That means…" She turned to Tenzin. "A younger version of me is STILL HERE?"

Tenzin nodded.

Jinora wasn't sure how she felt about this. She decided to meditate on it.

Wendy and Iroh managed to greet each other silently.

Patema took in a breath, when Jinora interrupted her.

"Oh! I have knowledge of the future I should probably share! Dad! How old am I?"

"Um… 14 maybe?"

"Other me."

"Oh. 11."

Jinora squinted her eyes. "So what happened that was important… The spirit portals are going to open… Some people are going to try to kill Korra…"

Korra blinked. "That's festive news…"

"And…" Jinora's eyes widened. "Korra, this is important news. You must open the portals, but do not-"

Then, suddenly, Avatar Rine appeared in the room, touching his hand to Jinora's forehead.

"Remember naught the events of the future."

Jinora fell back, blinking. She couldn't remember anything from the time she turned eleven to the day she was taken from her own time.

Sivam squinted her eyes. "Who taught you that Rine?"

"You did. In another time."

Sivam glowered, before she pushed out her hand, shooting forth a strange magic spell with many interlocking circles. It hit Rine square on, sending him flying. He bent the walls out of the way, landing on his feet.

"Now what was THAT?" He asked, a bemused look on his face.

"Chronolock. You aren't going ANYWHERE." She grinned. "Everyone stand back. I'm going all out on this freak." _I've been waiting for this for a long looooong time._ She thought.

Rine shrugged. "I don't need timebending to get away, Sivam."

Sivam cracked her knuckles. "I'd like to see you try to run."

Rine nodded, then turned heel and ran using super speed.

Mikki and Amki gave each other a glance. This again. "Can we chase him down Sivam?"

She shook her head. "No." She teleported.

Korra groaned. "Oh come on! I want to get in on the action!"

Iroh shook his head. "You'd just get in the way, young Avatar. Rine is the most powerful bender I know. Sivam NEEDS to be able to cut loose."

The President paled. He knew perfectly well how Sivam didn't care overly much about civilian casualties. She had a rather… skewed set of morals.

Course he was a politician. He wasn't much better.

Sivam appeared above Rine, swords ready to come down. Rine simply ignited the air around him on fire, and leapt far away with a single bound.

Sivam teleported to him once again, this time blasting a laser of spirit energy. Rine just bent it out of the way, causing it to destroy a nearby building. Sivam tried again. And again.

What Sivam didn't realize in her rage was that Rine was taking bits of the spirit energy she was blasting at him. Slowly, but surely, he was bending them around himself in a particular pattern.

He took in a breath. He just needed to knock her to the side for a few seconds now…

He entered the avatar state, bending the eight standard elements into a sphere of power. The eight elements then intertwined with each other, forming a point, and charging right at Sivam.

Sivam tried to teleport, but couldn't in time. It hit her square on.

In the distance, Mikki winced. That had been the move Aang had almost used on Firelord Ozai. It would kill any normal person.

And if Sivam hadn't had her special abilities, it would have killed her as well. As it was, she regrew her chest region in a manner of seconds.

But those few seconds were enough. Rine bent the spirit energy around him to remove the chronolock Sivam had placed on him.

He vanished into another time.

"G********!" Sivam swore, throwing her black sword into the ground, causing the road to explode. She then picked up the sword, and teleported away.

Everyone stared at the wreckage.

That had been… fun.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

SG-13 and the various people of Diqiu retired to the Republic City Hall. Iroh and Zuko had decided to return to the Fire Nation, and Eggman took Blaze back to the Tech Republic.

While Patema, Tenzin, and the President talked about politics that no doubt bore most people, the rest of SG-13 watched as Mikki and Amki taught Korra the art of soundbending.

The sisters were currently arguing on how exactly sound flows.

"Nuh-uh! Amki! You have to be smooth with your movements and full of energy!"

"PRECISION is KEY Mikki! You have to be careful!"

"But what about bending your voice? That doesn't take precision!"

"We just have a natural skill for that!"

Korra sighed. "Can we get to training? I'm pretty sure I've almost got soundbending down…"

Amki snorted. "You almost have the basics down."

Korra rolled her eyes. "That's how I've been working on becoming the Avatar. I'll learn the more advanced stuff later. That's how Aang did it."

Amki nodded and rolled her eyes at the same time.

Mikki clapped her hands. "How about we not focus on technique and give you a sparring partner?"

Amki sighed. "Patema's talking to the politicians. She's the only soundbender-"

"Who said they had to be a soundbender?" Mikki grinned.

Amki pondered this, and gave back an evil smile. "Oh yes…" She turned to the four members of SG-13. "Wendy, how about you?"

Wendy adjusted her sunglasses, propped her blade up on a wall, and walked towards Korra.

Korra tensed. She had read about Wendy. Korra knew she was a firebender, but she wasn't entirely sure what tales about her were true and what weren't. At least she wasn't using the Weapon.

Mikki and Amki spoke in unison. "You may only use soundbending Korra! BEGIN!"

Korra groaned inwardly. Aside from air, sound was the element she was weakest in. This probably wasn't going to go well.

Her face betrayed none of this, however. "Bring it."

Wendy smirked. "You got it."

It had been about a week since Wendy had been in this universe, and as such her powers were slightly hindered form nonuse. She didn't try using her blazing phoenix maneuver, that could backfire easily. But she did go for something impressive. She focused her palms inward, heated them up, then shot a laser out of her palms.

Korra dodged out of the way, using a burst of sound to propel herself further. _So the beam wasn't just a legend… That's not good._

Wendy rushed forth, poking and prodding with flaming hands. _How does she keep her hands from being burnt?_ Korra wondered.

Korra used one of the most infamous soundbending techniques known, the shrill scream. SG-13 covered their ears in pain. Deadpool yelled to the heavens. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF- AUGH I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MYSELF!"

Mikki whooped and Amki simply smiled in satisfaction. They were bending the sound around themselves.

It affected Wendy slightly. She was startled for a moment. Korra seized it, readying a sonic punch, aimed directly for Wendy's gut.

She barely had time to pull the fist back as Wendy put a sphere of fire around herself.

Korra grunted. _The Flaming Woman was an appropriate title for her…_ She seemed to be defying the basic law that firebenders could be burnt by their own fire. She was effectively using fire as a defensive element, something that other firebenders rarely could pull off. It was disorienting.

Then a lightbulb went off in Korra's head. She raised her hands, and pushed them forth, creating a sonic drill, vibrating the air around Wendy. It cut right through the flame sphere, making a large opening.

Korra let out a sonic punch, making direct contact. Wendy stumbled, surprised. "Resourceful."

Korra grinned. "I just decided to treat you like a metal bender. Fast moving defensive element."

Wendy smiled, then pulled her hands back, then sending a dragon-shaped flame at Korra.

Korra spun around, blasting the fire with sound. "That was easy-"

Korra suddenly discovered that her feet had been kicked out from under her. "AUGH-"

She flopped onto the ground with a thud. Wendy put her boot on her. Korra sighed, she had lost.

Deadpool held up an eight. Ty Lee held up a nine.

Deadpool glared. "Nine? That fall only deserved an Eight!"

Ty Lee gave him the pouty face. "But it was so well timed with the scream and the look of disbelief!"

"Oh really? You know nothing about judging falls!"

As Deadpool and Ty Lee argued, Jinora silently stood up and walked off. She needed some time alone.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Amki was watching as Ty Lee and Korra sparred.

Unlike her sister, Mikki, Amki had more patience to watch the student. While Mikki had taken off with Deadpool and Wendy to go to one of her concerts, Amki had convinced Korra and Ty Lee to stay and spar.

They were talking about blocking bending.

"You know we had a guy who could sever Chi recently. His name was Amon." Korra let out a flurry of punches, trying to get through Ty Lee's defenses.

Ty Lee shook her head, not even phased by the punches.. "Yeah. To be honest, I actually know how to do that. It involves a lot of spinal hitting. You have to block bloodflow to particular parts of the body as well."

Korra raised her eyebrow while kicking. "Really? He used bloodbending to do it."

Ty Lee shuddered as she grabbed Korra's leg and twisted it. "That would be painful. He'd have to solidify the blood to puncture the particular areas. He would have to know EXACTLY what he was going for. Perhaps he read the scroll of techniques I made."

Korra fell flat on her face. "You made a scroll of techniques?"

"Um. Yeah. It wasn't well written but I just put whatever ideas I had in there." She smiled. "It was fun, doing something that involved geekiness." She hefted Korra up.

"Thanks."

Amki nodded. "That's probably good. Now everyone pack up."

"Wait!" a voice said. The three women turned to see a strange bearded man walk up to them. He was carrying a tray of food. "I simply must bestow this humble gift to the great and powerful Avatar, her mentor, and her friend. Please, feast."

Korra looked at the dish. It appeared to be meat of somesort. It looked GOOD.

She dug in.

Ty Lee frowned. "I want some!"

Korra threw her a piece of garnish.

The man crouched onto the floor, bowing, fingers twitching.

"Thank you." Korra said, as she gracelessly stuffed the food into her face.

The man stood up. "You are most welcome, Avatar Korra."

Then he walked up.

After he was a block away, he lost his awe-inspired demeanor. He smirked. He held up three strands of hair.

"Hello models three, four, and five." He grinned. He walked off into the night.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Jinora sat on the shore of Air Temple Island. It was always quiet here. She had been coming here since she was a little girl.

She couldn't remember if she had ever stopped coming here.

That was her problem. Three years of her life were just gone. She couldn't remember much about Korra anymore. She couldn't even remember getting her arrow tattoos. She couldn't remember anything that had shaped her life before she was taken to the past. She just couldn't remember.

It was frustrating. There were people she might meet that she might know, or might not. She might be able to improve their lives. She might be able to change events for the better.

Now, all she could do was second guess what had happened.

She punched the ground. That was Rine's whole point. He didn't want her to purposefully change anything.

Stupid Rine.

"Um… who are you?" A voice behind her asked.

Jinora sighed, turning around ready to offer an apology.

She couldn't speak.

She stared right into the face of a younger, tattooless, version of her.

The young Jinora stared right back.

"This is queer." They both said at once. Then they softly chuckled.

"What's up?" The older one asked.

"Meelo and Ikki are being jerks. And Dad's busy with politics."

The elder Jinora rolled her eyes. "Politics. You better get used to them."

The younger shuddered. "I know. May I ask why I have to?"

The elder opened her mouth, before shutting it and frowning. "I... don't remember…"

"Why not?"

"Rine doesn't want me changing things."

The younger Jinora shrugged. "Rine may have good reason."

"You don't know him personally. The man may have delusions of doing the right thing, but he doesn't think things through."

"Maybe. But perhaps this will allow me to find my own destiny, and not simply be a copy of you. Or, even worse, someone shaped by you."

The elder pondered this. That was a good point. She sighed. Perhaps this was for the best.

"Of course you are still going to be driven crazy by not remembering certain things, but you'll get used to that. Probably."

The elder chuckled. "You will make no such promises."

The girl grinned. "Of course."

Jinora, master of air and member of SG-13 looked at the stars. "It's really late. Mom's probably getting worried."

"Oh my gosh I do become lamer as I get older."

The two of them started laughing uncontrollably.

Jinora did eventually manage to tell her younger self to go back, and be nice.

The sheer strangeness of a younger version of herself being a mentor struck her about three minutes later. She chuckled.

She got up, and walked back to town.

Just as she got back, Patema and the President signed the document putting Diqiu back into the Dimensional Alliance. They shook hands.

Things were looking up.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Darth Vader was tense. It was unlike him.

The Emperor had arrived.

Normally, this would simply make Vader behalve a little more menacing.

Unfortunately, he knew the Emperor was in a very sour mood.

Five worlds had fallen to the Replicators, and it had barely been an entire day.

The Emperor walked towards Darth Vader, his expression shadowed. The man was cloaked in darkness, with only the lower half of his ancient face showing. "Vader… We need to put a stop to these Replicators now!"

"I am working on it, my lord, but it takes time to organize ships."

"Those bugs seem to be doing it just fine."

"They are machines. Machines are always good at organizing."

The Emperor grunted. "Of course. I suppose clones aren't always the best soldiers."

"We should have the fleet ready to deploy by tomorrow."

"Good. Construction of the Death Star shall not stop under any circumstances."

"Of course my lord. The main cannon is almost operational."

"Good. Now leave me be, I will be looking into the dark side."

Darth Vader nodded, and let the Emperor go to his work. He had a fleet to prepare.

[][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

QXPEHU WZR LV PDUN

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: Oh Ba'al, what are you up to? Heheheh. :3**

 **Don't worry about the Replicators. They'll be back tomorrow. I guarantee it.**

 **This episode was an introduction to the world of Diqiu. The world itself will be a major player, but the characters from it may or may not be important.**

 **It alllll depends.**

 **I still apologize for the delay. I could have had this out a week ago if it weren't for LIFE.**

 **But wutever. Until tomorrow!**

 **REVIEW. DECODE. FAVORITE. FOLLOW.**


	12. January 11: Factions

**AN:**

 **GM: Well. This is kinda short (compared to other days). I mean, yes it's awesome, and yes things happen, but… it's short. I'm like: what else can I put in here that actually is worth putting in? I mean, I could put in a comedic pointless scene, but this isn't that kind of episode. It's meant to be more epic. Which it is, it's just… short.**

 **Oh well. Enjoy. XD it's still awesome. I've just got this feeling like: THIS NEEDS TO BE LONGER.**

 **I do suspect that January 12 will be much longer though.**

Wednesday, January 11: Factions

Fifty imperial Star Destroyers dropped out of hyperspace around Tatooine. The tremendous wedge-shaped ships loomed over the world, ready to strike.

Darth Vader stood on the bridge of the lead Destroyer, observing.

Scans showed that only a dozen of the ships in orbit had operational weapons.

For a moment, Vader thought that maybe this would be easier than he had thought.

Then he felt the Force again. That tremendous presence of complete and utter coldness. No soul, just presence. He clenched his fist.

"Destroy all the weaponed ships simultaneously, then proceed to burn the world." Darth Vader wished they had the Death Star with them. Unfortunately, while the Death Star's weapon WAS ready, the bulk of its armor and defenses were not. Heck, it was currently being shielded by a planetary generator rather than its own power. It wasn't going anywhere at the moment.

The Star Destroyers fired their main weapons, blowing all of the ships apart in massive explosions. They then focused all their weapons down at the surface, melting what they could.

After a few minutes, an officer said "oh no."

Darth Vader turned to the man, having a feeling that he really wouldn't like this. "What? SPEAK!"

"Um… five of the ships are… reassembling…"

"Reassembling? Explain."

"Well the pieces that we blew apart? They're coming back together."

Vader grabbed the man with the force and threw him into a wall. It didn't kill him, but it did snap a few ribs. And his lower spine.

"Get him to the infirmary. Or the brig. I don't really care." The Sith glowered. "Tell the forward ships to focus fire on the five ships."

"Incoming weapons fire!"

The Star Destroyer rocked slightly. Vader chuckled. They may be resourceful, but the bugs apparently didn't have very good weapons. "Blow them out of orbit."

"We're trying sir, they seem to have become completely immune to our main lasers!"

Vader punched a console. "Focus all lasers on ONE ship!"

That did the trick. Even Replicator blocks weren't resistant to focused firing. One ship melted.

The other four saw this, and immediately decided that standing still wasn't a good strategy. They began to move in quick formations, dodging focused fire.

"We've just lost contact with five of our ships!"

Vader clenched his fist. Possible Replicator takeover. "We can't take the risk. Remotely activate the self destruct on those ships, code V-Chro-Ega-Seven."

Seconds later, four explosions rippled through space. The fifth ship, however, started firing on its friends.

Unlike the Replicator weapons, which weren't doing much, a Star Destroyer's laser was more than enough to grab some attention.

It managed to destroy one of its brethren before being blown to smithereens.

"The Replicator ships are literally deflecting every weapon we have now!"

Vader punched another console. "Keep melting the planet. They can't avoid that. Just keep the Replicator ships busy. They can't destroy us easily either."

Just as he said this, a missile launched from the surface of the world. Followed by several dozen others.

"Don't let those missiles reach us!"

Laser fire erupted, impacting the missiles, which continued on as if nothing had happened.

The missiles exploded a mile away from their target, flinging plasma-lit shrapnel all over the shields of their Star Destroyer targets.

"SHIELDS ALMOST DOWN!"

Darth Vader saw what the Replicators had done.

They used their small ships to scout out what the Star Destroyer capabilities were. Then, when they were confident, they launched an actual weapon.

A weapon he suspected they had literally invented on the spot. Creative b*******.

"Order the fighters to intercept any incoming missiles."

"Sir?"

"We must not show weakness. We must do everything we can. ORDER THE FIGHTERS!"

The officer gulped. "Yes, lord Vader…"

"I will be going out as well. Commander, you're in charge."

Vader left the bridge, heading directly for his fighter. It was a normal TIE fighter, a black sphere encased by two angled 'wings' that formed an overall H shape. He climbed in, and readied himself.

The fighters launched, charging towards the second volley of giant shrapnel missiles.

Fighters crashed directly into the missiles, stopping their approach. Most TIE fighters didn't survive the impact. Vader used the Force to rip the missiles apart from a distance.

It was working. Vader even managed to launch a few of the missiles back at the planet.

But, lo and behold, the Replicators adapted once more. The next volley of missiles actively tried to dodge the TIE fighters, avoiding all attempts at stopping them.

The Star Destroyer fleet began to fall. Ship after ship exploded.

"RECALL FIGHTERS!" Vader ordered. "RETREAT!"

The TIE fighters returned, and the Star Destroyers leapt into Hyperspace.

Vader marched back onto the bridge. "Any Star Destroyer whose shields are down will be destroyed at the rendezvous point. We can't take any chances."

The Star Destroyers dropped out of hyperspace. Three were instantly destroyed because of possible contamination.

"Uh oh." An officer said.

"Spit it out." Vader grumbled.

"Twenty four ships left. Only twenty three arrived."

Vader punched a console.

He knew what that meant.

Of course, it WAS possible that the ship had only had engine trouble.

But he suspected it was far more likely that the Replicators had gotten control of it.

He actually winced as he imagined what would become of the crew.

What would the Emperor think? He was already more livid than Vader had ever seen him. Was it possible for him to go even further down the tunnel of rage?

Vader definitely did not want to see that new level of raw anger.

But he didn't really have a choice.

"Return to the Death Star." He muttered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So… where are you taking me?" Kara asked over the radio.

"To my mentor, Master Yoda." Luke replied. The two of them were flying through hyperspace in their fighters. Kara had been thrilled to have an FTL fighter, but had quickly discovered that you couldn't actually fight while in hyperspace.

"Why?"

"Well, a few reasons. I need to finish my training. I need to ask him a… certain question. And I sense the Force in you. We could always use more jedi."

Kara snorted. "I doubt I have the discipline to become one of those monks."

Luke rolled his eyes. "We aren't monks! We are protectors of justice!"

Kara shorted again. "Whatever. I think I'm a tad violent for that don't you?"

"I'll let Yoda be the judge of that."

"Old and wise is he?"

"Extremely. He was already old when the Republic fell. That was decades ago."

"Wow."

"Ah look, there it is, Dagobah."

"It looks like a moss ball."

"It is. Pretty much."

Kara rolled her eyes. "Where do we land?"

"In that swamp water right there."

Kara blinked. "Um… how?"

"Like this." Luke rushed toward the world and landed the fighter with a SPLOOSH.

Kara followed his example, though her sploosh was much larger and less controlled.

Luke hopped out and took in the landscape.

"Yep. Just as dark and murky as I remember it."

R2D2 climbed out of his hatch and made some beeping noises.

"It is NOT pretty. Under any definition."

Kara nodded. "I agree with the jedi, tin can."

R2D2 made some offended beeps.

Kara chuckled. "Can't take an insult, can he?"

"He may seek revenge." Luke said. "I'd be wary."

Kara leaned down and gave R2D2 a cold stare. "Bring it bucko."

R2D2 stared right back, not making any noise.

"Come on guys, Yoda's place is this way."

 _Extremely old guy who lives deep in a swamp…_ Kara pondered. _Definitely a hermit. I don't like hermits._

The swamp had some of the weirdest trees Kara had ever seen. It was almost as if they didn't understand the direction of up. They veered left, they veered right, they corkscrewed and sometimes even went DOWN. And that was just the trees. In addition to that, there were many other flora around. Vines, flowers, bushes, mossy things, and strange twitching green stuff.

Oh and there was mud. Lots of mud.

Kara got sick of the mud in less than a minute.

After fifteen minutes of complaining and griping (and lifting R2D2 over certain obstacles) they arrived at a small thing that vaguely resembled a house.

"This is it!"

Kara blinked. "Seriously?"

"Yep!" Luke leaned in and ducked into the tiny door. Kara followed, annoyingly cramped.

"I take it he generally doesn't get company…" She muttered. It was really cramped. "I also take it that that short green thing in the bed is Yoda."

Luke nodded. The short green alien had really big pointy ears, and looked OLD. He was very wrinkled, and was currently sleeping.

"Sleeping, I am not." Yoda muttered, opening his eyes. "Dying, I am."

Luke and Kara were silent. Kara's mind was still stuck trying to process the backwards talking. Luke was stunned that Yoda was dying. "You can't be dying!"

"Luke, Old I am. Completely natural, this is. Things are supposed to be, this is the way."

Kara shook her head. What?

"Take time to understand me, it will."

Kara put her hand to her head. Great.

Luke leaned in. "Master, I need more training! I am not ready!"

"Needed, no more training is. Learn the rest on your own, you can."

Luke sighed, realizing this was true. But there was one last thing. "Master… Darth Vader said I was his son."

Yoda's normally serene features hardened at that remark. Even Kara saw it.

"It's true isn't it?"

"Trying to corrupt you, Vader is."

Luke got angry. "That doesn't change the fact that it's the truth!"

Yoda sighed. "Yes. It is, yes."

There was silence. Kara felt awkward being there. She quietly shifted to the far corner of the house. (which was three steps away).

"Be strong, you must. Let this truth corrupt you, you must not. Strong be."

Luke shook his head. "There must be some hope."

"Always hope, there is. But far gone, Vader is. Time, you do not have."

Luke sighed. Yoda was right. There wasn't time. Darth Vader, his father, needed to be stopped now. "Do you have anything else for me?"

"Another Skywalker, there is. Your sister. Know who she is, you do." Yoda took a rasping breath. "With the one you brought, the Force is strong. Teach her, you must."

"Now wait just a minute!" Kara objected. "I don't have to be-"

And with that Yoda stopped moving.

"Great." She muttered.

Luke sighed. "We best be going."

Kara gave him a sad look. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He sagged. "Guess we came here for a lot of sad information."

Kara shrugged. "I really have no idea what any of that meant. Some dude was your father and you have a sister. And a lot of horrible grammar."

Then Luke felt a shift in the force. He whipped around just in time to see a flash of light.

When the light dissipated, the ceiling was taller. Luke found he could stand up fully.

In front of him was Q. "Ah that's better! I always hated low ceilings! Terrible rubbish, they are."

Q ignored the two of them, and turned to Yoda. "I'm sorry little green raisin, but I need you alive for the moment. Terribly sorry about interrupting your natural death, but what are you gonna do?" He snapped his fingers, and Yoda sat up, coughing.

"What have you done, Force Being?"

Luke blinked. Force Being? What did that mean?"

Q rolled his eyes. "A thank you would've been appreciated. Oh well. I guess messing up the natural order of things is just what I do lately." Q clapped his hands. "Now, my little master Yoda, be a good boy and live out your now-extended life as a jedi."

"This, why do you do?"

Q furrowed his brow. Kara thought she saw confusion on his face. It was quickly replaced with a jovial smile. "The reasoning behind the actions of my kind are not for the likes of you to understand. Bye!" He vanished in a flash of light.

Yoda glared at the ceiling. It didn't return to normal.

He took it as a sign it was time to leave this place.

"Come." He said. "Much to do, we have."

Luke and Kara exchanged glances, then shrugged.

Kara leaned in. "So does this mean that I get to be trained by you?"

"No. Need to learn about training, Luke does."

Luke sighed. "Great."

Yoda waved. "Come. Hurry, we must. Fill me in, you will."

Kara hit her head. Maybe that would help her understand this strange language.

As they took off, something occurred to Luke.

"What's a Force Being?"

"One who lives in the force, it is."

"Like Obi-wan?"

"No. A mere shadow of their power, he is. Ancient and powerful beings, they are. Happening, something important is. Interfere with us mortals, rarely do they do."

Luke scratched his chin. "Should we be worried?"

"Yes. But nothing we can do, there is. Even that of the Emperor, their power exceeds."

Luke didn't like the thought of beings with that much power.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Voyager was docked at a secret rebel base in some unnamed rock flying in interstellar space.

The place was very boring. Almost nondescript. Just… boring looking. The people were interesting, as rebels always were, with amazing variety in race and personality. But the base itself appeared like it was just plastered on wherever it would fit.

Which was probably true.

Then the Command Carrier dropped in. The alarm was raised for a moment, before everyone on the base realized that they were scheduled to arrive.

Then the rebels took a moment so gape at the Command Carrier. It wasn't as large as an Imperial Star Destroyer, but it looked just as menacing.

Scorpius hailed the base. "This is Scorpius of the Terran… Federation." He said Federation like it was a bad taste in his mouth. "Where should we dock?"

"Enter the force shield with a smaller ship at the back end of the rock."

"Understood." He gestured to his passengers. "Shall we?"

Minutes later, the representatives of the various Terra Federation factions were sitting at a table with a high ranking member of the rebels, an orange fishlike alien known as Admiral Ackbar.

Janeway was representing Starfleet, Scorpius represented the Peacekeepers, Cavil and D'anna represented the two Cylon Factions, and both Tighs were there representing the Colonials. (John and Mal's crews didn't have enough people to warrant a representative.)

Ackbar shook his head. "You have quite the variety here, for a group of mostly humans that formed in the Barren Sectors."

Janeway shrugged. "We don't know anything about what the norm is out here. We've been just as surprised as you. Our civilizations formed completely separately, is it any surprise that we're extremely different?"

That seemed to be an adequate explanation for Ackbar, to Janeway's relief. She didn't think explaining their true past was a good idea at this point. They didn't need these rebels poking into their business.

Ackbar continued. "Anyway, to business. I understand that your civilization is tiny compared to the Empire, the Covenant, or even the Rebel underground. We would not dream of asking you to fight the Empire directly, they would eventually find your territories and wipe the floor with you."

"I'd like to see them try." Saul muttered.

Scorpius shook his head. "As much as I would like a good opponent, we must choose our battles colonel. They just have more resources."

Ackbar nodded. "What you DO have is TECHNOLOGY. The transportation in particular interests me. No doubt you have some other things we could use."

Janeway nodded. She was expecting this. "I have reviewed the database we've acquired. I believe your cause is just. Unfortunately, politics do get in the way. My people generally don't want to get involved in wars at all, even if we are just giving technology. And while some of the other factions want to help you fight directly, they don't want to do so without getting something else in return."

The other representatives nodded. They needed more things.

Ackbar sighed. "I can offer you our technology in return. Hyperspace drives, laser weapons, shields…"

"You're suggesting a full technology trade?"

"Yes." Ackbar said.

Janeway furrowed her brow. "What guarantee do we have that you won't use them against us?"

Ackbar smiled (or was it a smile? it was hard to tell.) He produced a data pad. "This is the constitution for the new government we will create if we do succeed in overthrowing the Empire. And this portion" He pointed near the bottom. "Is a list of governments we have promised large influence in the new government. I can put your people on here."

Janeway's eyes widened. "That… would be a huge Federation…"

Ackbar smiled. "I like that word. Federation."

"You'd have to call it the New Federation. We already had one."

Ackbar nodded. "Does this please you?"

Janeway nodded. Very much so. "Yes. In fact, with this much we may actually help more… Perhaps even directly when possible..."

She turned to the other representatives. "Anyone have a problem with this?"

Cavil stood up. "Let me just say my faction agrees to the technology trade only. We will not contribute anything else."

D'anna rolled her eyes. "We will assist however we can."

Saul chuckled. "I guess we've just gotten involved. I'll contact Picard, ask him about strategies and resources."

Ackbar nodded. "To a future victory."

A rebel brought in glasses for the explicit purpose of toasting.

Saul was impressed with the drink. Ellen couldn't stand it. "My goodness… that's a strong drink."

Janeway's eyebrow twitched. "You're telling me."

They laughed.

Then they toasted again and drank more just for the heck of it.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So we're in a war now." Picard said, obviously waiting for the reasoning.

Janeway nodded. "I saw it as our only real option now. We will try to remain a secret, but even if we do it flawlessly, ships that saw us at Tatooine will eventually make a report and the Empire will find us. Not to mention the Replicators. We needed to take a side. And unless you want to side with a totalitarian government or reasonless robots, I think the rebels are the best shot."

Picard nodded. "There are the Covenant though."

Cortana appeared on the viewscreen behind Picard. "I told you about the Covenant! They are a bunch of warlike religious fanatics that almost destroyed all life in the galaxy millennia ago! The new Covenant is probably no better. Obsessed with their ancient gods-"

"Cortana, you are biased. No offense."

Cortana's eyebrow twitched. "Let me tell you something _admiral,_ I know a LOT more than you do."

Picard sighed. "True." He paused. "I guess this is the best of limited options."

Janeway spoke again. "I will be discussing the exact nature of our assistance. I have already given them schematics to our technology, and I have transmitted theirs to Cortana."

"I already knew the basics of a lot of this stuff, but they do have access to classified military info. Also more recent technology than I encountered when I was activated on Tatooine."

Picard flexed his wrist. "I'll tell the President the developments. Keep talking with them." He disconnected.

Picard went into his quarters. "Earl grey, hot." He told the replicator. It gave him his tea instantly.

He considered it. It shared its name with horrible grey replicating bugs. And yet, it was one of the most important things they used.

They both replicated.

They did it in different ways.

He would give this observation to the science department working on the Replicator problem. Maybe it would help.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Commander Shepard was napping. It had become a common thing lately. They'd been in intergalactic space for days now, and absolutely nothing was happening.

So when his quantum communicator rang, he was started so badly that he fell off his chair.

He groaned, standing up. It was from Lightning.

He answered. "About time you called!"

"You could have called me you know." Lightning said over the line.

Commander Shepard rolled his eyes. "I'm a busy busy man."

"You were napping."

Shepard squinted. How did she know?

"The same way I know that you're thinking 'how did she know?'" Garrus offered from across the room.

Shepard glared. Perhaps he was a bit lenient with his crew. Everyone was smarting off lately.

Or maybe it was just the fact that they were going to be stuck on the Normandy for a while.

He returned to his call. "So, Lightning, you seem to know everything about what I've been doing…"

"You've been bored out of your skull in intergalactic space."

Shepard twitched his eyebrow. She could be so… annoying. And when she wasn't annoying, she was serious.

"So… Lighting. What's up with you?"

"Well… I've taken on the identity Monica Reyes, have gotten involved in some alternate dimension and or alien conspiracy, met a bunch of crazy people, had Lyre turn someone into a l'Cie, crashed the Crimson Blitz, all good stuff."

"Your life sure is eventful."

"You know what isn't good? I'm on a BUS. I've been in it for DAYS already. I'd kill who's responsible but he's sitting right next to me and happens to actually be useful."

Shepard chuckled as he heard a man say "Hey!"

Lightning's voice quieted to a whisper. "Anyway… the reason I'm calling is that… Well Serah's out there. Somewhere."

Shepard lost his smile. "Where?"

"I don't know. But I'm stuck on this planet for now. I'd like you to look for her. Maybe she ended up near where I originally was."

Shepard nodded. "Sure thing. Who told you this?"

Lightning was silent. "It's… hard to explain."

Shepard knew better than to press the issue. "We'll keep a lookout."

Lightning thanked him and hung up. Shepard swiveled around in his chair to see Garrus and Tali standing there.

"Okay, so anyone know what Serah looks like exactly?"

Garrus scratched his chin. "I saw the picture Lightning keeps of the wedding. She's basically like Lightning, except shorter and much more friendly looking."

Tali nodded. "Amethyst hair isn't common. We should be able to find he-" Tali suddenly stuttered, and twitched as if she was having a seizure. Then she looked directly at Shepard. "I AM ERROR. FIND SERAH BEFORE SHE KILLS HIM."

Then Tali collapsed onto the floor. Shepard quickly picked her up and ran to sick bay.

She recovered a few minutes later, with no recollection of what she had said.

But they were all thinking the same thing.

Who was Serah going to kill?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Serah kicked a wall in rage, her usually soft features torqued in hate.

She looked out the window at the sea of stars, at a very certain Star Destroyer.

"Darth Vader. You will pay."

She hefted her magic crossbow, causing it to pulse with electric power.

He deserved to live no longer.

She would find an opportunity.

She collapsed the crossbow and climbed back into the Clone Trooper uniform.

It would come.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lee Adama surveyed the landscape in front of him.

Grass. Everywhere.

It was just so beautiful. It waved in the wind like a green ocean, beckoning him to come swimming.

His true goal, however, was to get to the ancient ruins in the middle of the sea of green blades. He tucked his clothing tight around his skin, and trudged into the sea. The grass was chest high, and scraped across his shirt with little brushing noises.

It would be the ultimate paper cut fest if he wasn't careful. Good thing he was careful.

Even so, his wrist did get one nick. He hissed. OW. He wanted to scream, but he didn't. He had a feeling creatures would come and find him if he made noises of pain.

After a few hours of trudging through the grass, he came to a clearing where the ruins stood.

He found some dark skinned people standing around, covered in tribal markings. He had known there were some primitive tribes on Terra, but he didn't think they were here.

Then again, he DID just go adventuring with little or no preparation.

The natives didn't speak. They just glanced his way, then looked back at the ruins. In particular they were looking at a darkened monolith-like building that was behind some kind of large ring with symbols all around it. The monolith building had an alien script all over it that consisted of dots and many loops and swirls.

Then something came out of the monolith building. It was a really old man with exceptionally pointy ears, riding what appeared to be a small light blue horse with a rainbow colored mane, light blue wings, and dark sunglasses..

The old pointy-eared man spoke first, raising his hand in a V gesture. "Live long and-"

"Swag." The horse interrupted in a female voice.

The old man glared at the horse as if she had interrupted something sacred. She just grinned.

The natives bowed.

Lee Adama's brain ceased to function in that moment.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

FUXVK. NLOO. GHVWURB. VZDJ.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: "LIVE LONG AND SWAG"**

 **Lee Adama's brain ceased to function in that moment.**

 **That scene.**

 **IS PERFECT. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.**

 **BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH. ...I'm insane aren't I? WALTER! LET'S BE FRIENDS!**

 **I'm crazy. That image of the end of this chapter has been in my head for weeks. It wouldn't leave. So NATURALLY it has to be put into 2012. XD**

 **TD even drew a picture of it on our deviantart. Yes we have a deviantart now. .com**

 **Anyway, if it makes everyone feel better, Jan 12 will probably be much much longer.**

 **And we've got something VERY special planned for Jan 13. VERY SPECIAL…. heheh.**

 **But enough about that. REVIEW and stuff.**

 **TD: Most bazzzzar drawing project. Ever. What is this fanfic coming too.. u me to draw another scene XD preferably something just as awesome**

 **CRUSH KILL DESTROY SWAG CUSTARD**

 **GM: where'd the custard come from?**


	13. January 12: Bus

**AN:**

 **GM: why do I even have a beginning AN here. Read. No disclaimers or anything here.**

 **Just stuffs.**

 **TD: (•_•) ( •_•)⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)**

 **GM: Oh look. now I have a reason. FANFICTION. Y U DOWN YESTERDAY? September first will go down in history as the day no-one got their BUS chapter!**

Thursday, January 12: Bus

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In the Terran Metropolis, a strange pair were proceeding down the street, attracting some odd stares.

"This. Is. AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she flapped her blue wings. "Dude! SPACESHIPS! CITIES! PEOPLE! POSSIBLY NEW FOODS."

Spock raised his old and wrinkled hand to his face. This was becoming tedious. "Why are you still following me?"

Rainbow Dash flipped on some sunglasses. "Cuz you're old and probably know things."

"Wisdom does come with age, but I am not familiar with this world."

"You know the Picard fellow right? That's a familiarity in MY book."

Spock sighed. He almost wished he hadn't met this strange blue pegasus. She was a bit… energetic.

She had already caused a lot of trouble. Those tribal people were still chanting "Live long and swag." As if it was some kind of religious chant. And after telling them the way to the Metropolis, Lee Adama had promptly gotten as far away from the two of them as possible.

And while Picard was happy to see Spock, he could easily tell that the Admiral wasn't very enthused about Rainbow Dash. Cortana, on the other hand, liked Rainbow Dash almost too much.

Spock shook his head. She was a powerful and intelligent AI, but that personality had its weaknesses.

He rubbed his old, wrinkled face. This was all a bit much…

Rainbow Dash squealed. "OH YES! FOOD! What kind of food is this?"

The Colonial blinked at the rainbow pegasus. "Uh… corn?"

"Corn?" She drooped. "Do you have ANY unusual food?"

"We're barely planting crops! Yeesh! No we don't have many advanced dishes!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged, and turned back to Spock. "Where to next?"

"How about you go fly around and make friends, while I go meet with the President? Alone."

Rainbow Dash drooped. "Make friends…" She said sadly. "Yeah…" She flew off.

Spock cocked his head. Something must have happened to her in the past. She was always so active, rambunctious, and happy most of the time. But he had noticed her droop from some past experience several times already. Particularly when friends were mentioned.

He dismissed it. It wasn't his business. It wasn't like she was important to the safety of millions of people. He walked into the Capitol Building, bowing as he entered. "I am Ambassador Spock. I've been expected."

The secretary nodded. "He's waiting for you in the tank room."

Spock raised an eyebrow. Interesting. He had been curious about Anders.

He walked down the nondescript hallway into what was quite possibly the one room in the entire Metropolis that wasn't just blank walls and simple facilities. This room had lots of tubes, consoles, and random slapped-together cables. In the center was, of course, Sam Anders. He had become the main intelligence running the Metropolis, assisted by other hybrids of course.

And he still spouted out his constant stream of 'nonsense'.

"Q's will be united first. End of line. Provide the toxic container. Eat pony eat."

Spock turned to the person he was here to meet, President Romo Lampkin, the current leader of this Metropolis experiment.

Lampkin was drumming his fingers on the side of the tank. "My life…"

"...was never supposed to take this turn. I know what it feels like."

Lampkin stretched his arms, sighing. "This is going to get to me. All this responsibility. I could have easily led the Colonials, I knew how they thought, what they wanted. Heck I could even have led the Cylons. But these other groups, I haven't figured out yet. And I have a feeling that they aren't going to give me time to analyze them…"

Spock nodded. "Wise words, it is good to realize where one might fail."

Lampkin was silent for a time.

"End of line. Provision. War. The end approaches. The assassin moves, her crossbow ready. The Force must balance…"

Lampkin sighed. "I hear you have things to tell me."

"I have brought with me a ship, the Jellyfish, that has something called red matter on it. It can be used as an effective weapon against the Replicators you are facing. Just a small amount can consume a planet. Or a star."

Romo Lampkin nodded. "That's impressive. But I'm told it won't be that simple. They are spacefaring, and just one ship full of the bugs managed to eat an entire planet in a manner of hours."

"The other piece of news I bring is not good however."

"Oh?"

"Someone has followed me here. A Romulan named Nero. I've lost him for now, but he is wandering around, looking for me. His ship is most definitely a threat. We have enough firepower to repel him, but I suspect he may try bombing the planet. He is not rational."

Lampkin groaned. "Even MORE problems. GREAT." He paused. "What about that rainbow horse you brought back?"

Spock shrugged. "She is from some world called Equestria, but that's all the information I got. She is reluctant to talk about her past. She isn't important, however."

Lampkin laughed. "Amazing, how you people can just dismiss aliens."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am not human, President. I am a Vulcan."

"Yes yes I know but you LOOK human. I've seen more than a few completely alien creatures. I've been watching them."

"And what have you discovered?"

"Most of them are just as stupid as most of the humans."

Spock let a hint of a smile creep up his face. "Ah yes."

The two became silent.

"...the answer is closer than you think…"

Spock looked at Anders closely, trying to read him. He failed. "I should take my leave. I have much to learn so I can represent the Terran Federation."

Lampkin smirked. "I hear you are an excellent ambassador."

"I got a warrior race to make peace with the Federation. I have a few points of sucess."

Spock left, cloak flowing. Lampkin continued staring at Anders.

"I swear listening to this gobbeldygook is driving me insane."

"Yes it is, President."

Lampkin glared at Anders. "I hate it when you're lucid."

"Pineapple dance."

Lampkin threw his hands in the air and stormed out.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Scully and Lightning weren't speaking to Mulder.

"Oh come on! We'll be there TOMORROW."

Silence.

"So what, I got us a ride on a bus. I thought you'd like to see the country!"

Silence.

"Busses aren't that bad! The cushions are cushy! And mostly clean!"

Lightning held up a dead rat she had found two days ago.

"Why do you still have that? I told you to throw it out!"

Lightning said nothing.

"But come on! The scenery is nice!" Mulder gestured to the smoky landscape that had a forest fire burn through it yesterday.

Silence.

"Fine. Be that way." He tried to flick a pencil into the ceiling. All that got was a CLANG. He sighed, walking up the bus to look at the other passengers.

There weren't many. There was the driver (who wore a big "free pizza" shirt), some british guy in a brown coat (who was playing with some odd metallic pen thing), and some japanese kid who had realized about half an hour ago that Japan was on the other side of the ocean, so a bus couldn't possibly get him home. Mulder decided that he would go out and socialize with these people.

"Hello there, I'm Agent Fox Mulder, and you are?"

The british man looked up in utter and complete fear like he suddenly wanted to be anywhere but on a bus with Agent Mulder. "I'm nobody. I'm Doctor John Smith, just the Doctor to you. I'm nothing special."

Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Really? I expect you must have some stories to tell. You see, my two companions won't speak to me because I got them on this bus, and I'm finally sick of riding in silence."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Doctor was almost panicking. Fox Mulder. If there was ONE MAN on this whole planet who did NOT need to find him, it was Agent Mulder. He did not need the world to know all about Mulder and the Doctor. The Internet was already bad enough.

The TARDIS was at the stop scheduled for the evening. He couldn't just stall for time, he'd have to keep the man occupied somehow…

"Maybe I can solve your silence problem." He said, quickly recovering from his frightened panic. "Hey ladies-"

The dark-haired woman looked at the Doctor with a look that could chisel stone. The redhead tried to give the same look, but it didn't reach anywhere close to the intensity of the prior.

The Doctor turned heel and went back into his seat. "Note to self: women are not to be annoyed. Ever. You should know this by now."

Mulder sat next to him. "What are your experiences with women?"

The Doctor winced. Mulder was trying to appeal to his storytelling desire. The urge was strong, but he must not tell this agent anything.

At least, nothing true.

Wait.

"What if I told you a tale of fiction, full of adventure and mischief."

"Go right ahead." Mulder said, sitting back.

The Doctor smirked. Oh what to tell…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Walter looked in pride at his new serum.

"Crystalizing Bomb!" He whooped. "Now we can inject someone and blow them up without needing to apply a radio frequency!"

Astrid held up her hands. "No! NO! NONONONONO! We do NOT NEED THAT! WE will NEVER NEED THAT! EVER!"

"But it's for SCIENCE!" Walter ran to the other side of the lab, and slapped his palms on the table. "NOW IS THE TIME FOR PROGRESS!"

"Why do you want to blow people up Walter?"

Walter scruffed his chin. "Well… because I can?"

"Walter!"

"Okay I really don't want to it was just… something to do."

Astrid shook her head. Sometimes it was just too much. She needed to go see a therapist…

Then again she couldn't, all her work was deeply classified. Great.

Walter pulled up a chair. "What's wrong dear? I'm a perfectly qualified shrink."

Astrid laughed out loud. "Walter, not only are you crazy, you're part of the problem!"

"Really?" He said, seemingly genuinely interested. "Tell me more."

"You blow things up! You do ridiculous experiments that put me and others in danger! You wield a bone saw like a toy! You…"

"I do? This is true, but consider this. I see the world much differently than you do. And sometimes another view is required to see the situation as it is."

"Does that include drug induced hallucinations?"

"Of course!"

"Thought so." She sighed. "You've been putting my life in danger since day one here. Just by performing experiments."

"You haven't suffered a lethal wound yet."

"DUH."

"It's been a year." He mused. "Many others have died in our line of work, and yet you are still here. Perhaps a universal anomaly."

"Yes! How am I still safe! How am I still-"

"Or maybe, just maybe, I never put you in any real danger if I can help it."

Astrid blinked, pondering this. "But what about the crystalline bomb-"

"It's encased in a fully foolproof vial, and isn't even armed yet. I have to hit it with a tuning fork before injecting it or it won't work."

Astrid stared dumbfounded.

"Now, Astrid, we can continue our little chat, but I do require the bone saw."

Astrid absent-mindedly grabbed the saw, and gave it to Walter.

"Now, I suspect your nervousness from my 'crazy insane experiments' actually spawns from something else…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

...and that is the tale of how the grand physician stopped the weeping angels!"

The japanese kid, Mulder, Scully, and Lightning were all listening intently to the Doctor's story.

Scully's mouth hung open. "That… was an amazing story. I mean, the time travel bit seems a little far fetched, and the fact that the creatures turned to stone when looking-"

"Scully, that's how a story gets told. Suspension of disbelief is required. Of course there were fantastical elements. And it was so DEEP. The physician's whole world, destroyed."

"I think it could be true." Lightning said. "I mean, who knows what's out there, right?"

Mulder and Scully shot her a glance.

The Doctor caught this. _Aha! So this woman… what was her name? Monnie? Yes Monnie. She actually knows something about what's out there. Interesting. I wonder what her story is._

 _Wait a second… now THAT'S an idea!_

"My dear, why don't you tell a story next?"

"My name's Monica. And no."

 _Darn it…_

Mulder raised his hand. "I'll tell one!"

And he entered a tale about a man whose sister was abducted by aliens, and he spent his entire life trying to get her back…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter blinked.

Astrid was saying "Thank you Walter! I see everything much more clearly now!" while crying. And smiling.

He walked into the lab to see Walter working on what looked like a wood carving of a chinchilla. Using the bone saw, of course.

Peter glanced over his shoulder. "What did you do to her?"

"I'm a licensed shrink Peter."

"You WERE a licensed shrink."

"Wisdom comes with age, my son."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Okay, my dad the shrink, how can you help me with my problems?"

Walter put the bone saw to his chin, thinking. "Tell me how you feel about pineapples."

Peter decided to play along. "That without one I'm just one fruit short of a fruit cocktail."

"That's how I feel about pineapples Peter. I'm crazy. How do you feel?"

"Um… it's yellow?"

"Yellow isn't a feeling."

"It can be. Like the sun. Happy, joy." Peter pulled up a chair and sat down.

"Ah, but that's a color response. How do YOU feel?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Scully was immensely surprised that Mulder was telling an adapted version of his own life. Except that Mulder had never actually saved his sister.

"...and the man sits and waits, preparing for the oncoming storm."

The Doctor furrowed his brow. He suspected this tale of alien invasions and abducted sisters was at least partly true. He'd have to look into it. He had heard about Mulder, but had always assumed he was crazy. Now that he'd actually met the man, he took the things he had heard with a grain of salt. "Amazing story agent Mulder. Who's next?"

Lightning put her hands behind her head. "Nope. Just because you tell an epic story about moving statues, and agent boy here tells a sorrowful story of a man's journey to save his sister, doesn't mean that I'm going to pour out an emotional tale."

Everyone let out a disappointed "Aw…"

The Japanese kid spoke up. "I have a question. How can we all understand each other? I'm pretty sure you aren't speaking Japanese, and yet I know exactly what you are saying."

Mulder and the Doctor tried to offer an explanation at the same time. They saw each other try to offer an explanation, and stopped.

Mulder held up his hands. "You explain, my dear Doctor, how this works."

The Doctor glowered inwardly. "I dare say no, I'm british. You are American. You can explian it better."

"But _Doctor_ you know so much about psychology!"

"It isn't psychology related. Not really?"

"Oh really? What is it then?"

"You explain, dear friend."

Mulder was being driven insane. This Doctor had something that translated on him. He had assumed it was Lightning's device, but apparently that wasn't the only one. But the Doctor wasn't giving any information.

The Doctor was having similar thoughts. _How to get information out of him without giving away any myself… What a strange game this is._

The Doctor spoke first. "How about I offer part of the explanation, and you the other?"

"Sure. You go first, Doc."

The Doctor mused. What could he do…

"Well you see i'm carrying a device…" He motioned to Mulder to continue.

Mulder wasn't going to give him anything. "...That I carry in my hair…"

The Doctor realized where this was going. "..That takes powder from the air…"

Mulder glared. Two could play at this game. "...Which is turned into ponies…"

"...That love to dance a lot…"

"...and eat pizza all day…"

"...and-"

"OH FOR GOODNESS SAKES!" Lightning yelled. "ITS A PHONE APP!" She shoved Scully's iPhone in the kid's face. "A VERY EXPERIMENTAL ONE."

The kid looked dubious, but he decided to let it slide. He shrugged. "I'm Ryoga by the way. I guess I'll go next…"

He proceeded to tell the tale of a japanese boy who had such a bad sense of direction he seemed to get places almost magically….

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter stood up slowly.

"Everything is different now."

He slowly walked out of the lab, face blank.

Walter smiled, and began to affix a matrix of funnels to the wooden chinchilla. He grabbed the bone saw once more, and began to saw directly into the table.

Olivia walked in, without a cane or any support whatsoever. She seemed troubled.

"What is it my dear?"

"I just pulled a gun on Sam Weiss."

"And…?"

"And what?" Olivia said, glaring.

"There's obviously more. You don't have that cane anymore, and you aren't asking what I'm doing."

Olivia opened her mouth to respond, then shut it.

"I thought so. Come. Sit down. Old Walter here may be crazy, but he's a licensed shrink."

Olivia laughed. Right. Walter. A shrink.

She decided to play along anyway.

"Well… he pointed out that after I drew my gun on him I had no need to use my cane…"

"Why DID you point your gun at him?"

"I have been tying bowling shoes and throwing bowling balls for the last week or so. Nothing seemed to be happening. I wasn't getting better, so I tried to force him to do something. Or that's what I thought I was doing, at least…"

"So you were wrong, but pleasantly so. Now you're walking around like a regular spring chicken." Walter picked up a strange pink substance and began to chew it.

"I guess I am getting better. I even got a single bit of my memory back…"

"Oh? What?"

"I think I saw William Bell…"

Walter stopped what he was doing. "Belly? In the other universe? That IS curious… it sure would explain a lot… I wonder how he GOT there…"

"I don't know. I don't even remember what he said to me. I just get the feeling that it's really important."

"Describe this feeling."

"Well…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So let me get this straight…" The Doctor said.

Ryoga awaited the stream of questions.

"So this kid is from Japan…"

"Yes."

"Is a martial artist…"

"Yes."

"Has a horrible sense of direction…"

"Yes."

"And has a curse that turns him into a pig whenever he gets wet?"

"...yes."

The Doctor burst out laughing. "Comedic GOLD!"

Ryoga gave him a death glare. "It's not THAT funny."

"I could write a great story about how this person goes from dimension to dimension and causes so much chaos! It'd be absolutely brilliant! Probably already been done though, knowing the internet…"

Ryoga grumped. "Bakkas."

Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Huh. That wasn't translated. But I happen to know perfectly well what it means."

Ryoga glared. "Idiots."

"...why was that translated?"

"I said it in english."

"Oh."

Everyone turned to Lightning. "Perhaps you can say something now?"

Lightning gave everyone a rude gesture. However, it was a rude gesture on her world and not here. They thought she was telling them "four."

Scully stood up, biting her lip. "Um… I'll go next."

And she told a tale about a woman who had a child, a child who was not normal at all…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia skipped out of the Lab.

Walter affixed a bunch of jacks to the device he was making. Then he patted the chinchilla. Which now had a plastic pterodactyl on it's head.

Broyles walked in. "Where is everyone?"

"Out thinking about life. Redvine?"

Broyles took the redvine and bit into it, before promptly spitting it out. "What is IN this?"

"My own personal blend to help with digestion problems. Expect frequent bowel movements tomorrow."

Broyles' eyebrow twitched. Just what he needed.

Walter sat back in his chair, folding a piece of paper up more ways than should've been physically possible. "By the way, has anything been bugging you lately?"  
"What? Why?"

"Well it just seems that today seems to be the 'come to the old man with all your problems' day."

"Nope." Broyles said, eyeing Walter uncertainly. "Nothing at all."

"Well, drop by if you change your mind."

As Broyles walked out, "Charlie" came in.

"Agent Francis! What a wonderful surprise! Help me with this here."

"Charlie" cocked his head. Walter appeared to be fastening a bunch of marbles on a string. "Charlie" shrugged, and helped the old man.

"What's on your mind Francis?"

"Well…" The shape-shifter said, knowing he had to be cautious. Say something that sounded like a problem.

"I'm being expected to do a lot. You know? It feels weird, being in the middle of all this world-shattering business and I'm just a regular guy." Emphasis on regular guy.

Walter pondered this. "Well, of course. All of us feel that to some extent."

"Charlie" nodded. He was about to walk out when Walter continued.

"But I suspect it means more to you, somehow. Come. Sit."

"Charlie" tensed. Great. He'd have to go with this…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ryoga was crying his heart out. "That story was so SAD! WAH."

Scully blinked. What? Even she wasn't crying that much.

"It's almost like we're in an anime or something…" Mulder muttered.

"Can I tell a story now?" The bus driver yelled.

"SURE." Mulder yelled. "Take it away!"

Free Pizza Guy cleared his throat. "One day, a guy known as Free Taco Guy went to the house on the hill in Gravity Falls. He heard the screaming of a young girl, and the house roared. Free Taco GUy ran away as fast as he could and went to order some piz- tacos."

Everyone was silent.

The Doctor made a mental note to check out this house. Mulder did as well.

Ryoga just rolled his eyes. "BORING STORY."

Free Pizza Guy's eyes teared up. Then they cleared quickly. "MONICA!"

"WHAT?" Lightning retorted.

"TELL A STORY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-"

"NO."

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Charlie" stood up and walked out.

How did he do that? How… just… How? What WAS this man?

He had new faith in his mission. New drive. He would succeed.

Walter watched the shapeshifter go. Strange. That session had revealed a Charlie Francis he didn't expect to see at all. That man kept so much under his day-to-day face. Almost too much to be natural.

Oh well, probably nothing to worry about. He best get back to work. Put the coke bottle here…

Broyles came back in. "Walter…?"

"Yes?"

"Can I talk to you about Nina?"

"Oh of course! Come! Sit! Would you mind holding onto that rope while we talk? Good man. Now, what is it about Nina?"

"She's sending mixed messages."

"That's how Nina works. I should know."

"Of course. But…"

"But what?"

Broyles took a breath.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

"ALRIGHT FINE YOU PRICK."

Lightning forcefully placed her foot on the seat. "This is the story of a woman from a world not too far from this one, a place where magic existed and the people lived in two worlds: one was wide and open, a great world with beauty. The other was a matrix of civilization, but it was secluded from the rest, a cocoon. Now in the cocoon two sisters were born, the elder becoming what a soldier and the younger becoming one of those girls who hang out and be cute all the time. Their father left them at a young age, and their mother died when they were teenagers. They learned to take comfort in each other. This all changed one day when the younger was cursed by the 'gods'. A rift formed between the two sisters, the elder breeding hostility. The 'gods' eventually cursed her as well, throwing her into a torrent of rage. She just wanted to destroy all the 'gods' and screw them and their plans. She began what amounted to a holy crusade against them, unknowing that that was exactly what the 'gods' wanted. They wanted her to destroy them, so they could summon THEIR 'god.' They wanted to sacrifice themselves and all of the people in the cocoon to appease their lord. Well the elder sister and her friends weren't going to have any of THAT. At the last minute, they found a way to save the people and destroy the leaders of the 'gods.' They fused together the two worlds: making a new age, one of civilization AND freedom, beauty AND industry. The best of both worlds. It seemed to be a happy ending. The younger sister was saved, and everyone lived happily ever after."

Lightning paused. "Except that's never how it really ends. Life is never that simple. Once you taste the life of adventure, it will find you again. Something happened to the lord of the 'gods.' The remaining 'gods' blamed the sisters, and a war broke out. The sisters and their followers won, but the very day the war ended, the two sisters were separated, thrown to the edges of the universe. The elder now knows that the younger is in some kind of trouble, and she needs to find her soon."

Lightning sat back down in a huff. "THE. END."

Everyone was speechless.

The Doctor's eyes were wide. _I know who you are. Oh my…_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Broyles walked out of the lab, a happy smirk on his face.

Walter cracked his knuckles. That should be everyone…

He sensed a presence behind him.

"Oh. Hello. Didn't expect to see you here."

The Observer simply stared blankly. "I wish to experience what the others have. I will have to erase your memory after, of course. I expect the experience to be illuminating."

"Just let me work on my device while we do this, okay there?"

"Of course. Now. Begin."

"Let me ask one thing first: do you feel anything?"

"My people have virtually done away with these things you call emotions, but it appears that after a long exposure to your people we seem to… develop some shadow of them."

"How long have you been among us?"

"142 years, 10 months, 13 days, 6 hours, 35 minutes, and 4 seconds. Most of that without direct involvement with any of you, just observations."

"How about I give you a crash course in emotions?"

"It would be enlightening, it is such an unusual concept for us."

"Let me begin with happiness… here you may want some LSD…"

"Our minds are resistant to drugs."

"I'll give you double my dose."

"There is no way that will be-"

"Just take it. Trust me."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The bus stopped. "Everyone off! Portland! We're stopping for the night!"

The six people filed off the bus, feeling like their lives had been changed forever.

Ryoga walked down a random street and vanished, presumably getting lost again.

Mulder wondered if he'd ever see him again.

Free Pizza Guy walked right into a pizza parlor. "I'd like a ta- pizza please. Pepperoni."

Lightning and Scully walked off to get a room. They were silent.

The Doctor and Mulder just stood in the street. They gave each other a curt nod.

"See you around, Agent Mulder."

"See you around, Doctor Who."

The Doctor winced. "Really? THAT name? REALLY?"

Mulder smirked. "It is what you are called by certain people."

The Doctor sighed. "Was it really that obvious?"

"Oh yes. I knew who you were the moment you boarded the bus. But the point that drives it home is that not only do I see a blue phone box here, but I also see another version of you across the street over there."

The Doctor whirled himself around to see himself pulling Patema by the wrist and running at top speed outside of an old and abandoned restaurant.

"Ah, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. I remember that." He muttered. "That was not a very fun adventure…"

"You must have a lot of those."

"And you, Agent Mulder, don't need to know any of them."

Mulder put his hands behind his head. "I know that. But I have alerted you to the threat have I not?"

The Doctor whirled around. "Well, yes, but I'm not sure it isn't just some crazy conspiracy theory."

Mulder shrugged. "You'll look into it anyway."

"How do you know me so well?"

"I study everything, Doctor." Mulder grinned.

The Doctor laughed. "Well, you were nothing at all like I expected you to be. I always thought you were completely crazy."

"Everyone thinks that at first. It took Scully years to change her mind."

The two men nodded, and shook hands.

"Well, I best be going. Allons-y!" The Doctor _pranced_ into the TARDIS. Before he left, he poked his head back out. "You look out for Lightning you hear? She's the daughter of a friend of mine."

Mulder raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I suspect we will see each other very soon Mulder."

And with that, the TARDIS began its slow journey to vanish into another time, another space. Blinking slowly out of reality.

Mulder walked to the hotel.

One more day, then they would be in Gravity Falls. And he could investigate this whole Wendy thing, this strange house, and all the other things.

He cracked his knuckles. The time was coming.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Walter didn't know how he had finished the device, but he had. He pressed a button.

The marble string slid down the funnel matrix going in and out of the Chinchilla carving, causing it to twitch like a living thing. The marbles were then thrown through a hole in the table, some sticking on the pink substance, knocking the Pterodactyl off into the folded paper, which instantly extended to three times its normal length, knocking some mentos into a coke bottle. The pressure coming from the coke bottle blew up a balloon and caused it to pop, flinging various pills into Walter's mouth.

"Vitamins are fun!" He shouted. "Rube Goldberg would be proud!"

Then he noticed something odd.

Why the heck had he written "September" on the coke bottle?

Oh well. It probably meant nothing.

He returned to his work.

Outside his lab, the world seemed to tick much better than it had before.

The Doctor grinned as he set the TARDIS for tomorrow morning, Gravity Falls. Adventure awaited!

Astrid skipped down the street. She hadn't skipped along anything in forever. Life, for once, felt good. She felt content.

Mulder went to bed happy, smiling. For once in his life, he felt like he was making progress in his goals. Serious progress. Maybe even some answers. And a new ally.

Peter sat on a chair in a park somewhere, pondering life. Everything seemed to suddenly make a strange kind of sense.

Ryoga found himself back in Tokyo. Well what do you know. Amazing. He never went where he WANTED to go.

Olivia bowled a strike and whooped. Sam clapped, smiling. "Good." Olivia found it didn't matter that the headaches had started, she was doing just fine. She would get through this.

Scully thought deeply of her past, and for once, remembered the happy times rather than the sad ones.

The shapeshifter went to his mission with new determination, though in the back of his mind was Walter, the man who had helped him.

Free Pizza Guy had some pizza. And some more. And MORE.

Broyles called Nina Sharp, and for once talked openly with her.

Lightning felt like a load was off her chest. She also felt like she was no longer alone. Serah would be found. Her Quantum communicator vibrated. "Yes?"

"It's shepard. It happened so fast I didn't think to tell you…"

"What?" Lightning said, worried.

"Something happened. Tali's calling it a glitch in reality. Some… THING came and told us we had to stop Serah from killing… "HIM."

Lightning took in a sharp breath. "She wouldn't kill anyone…"

"How would you know? It's been almost two weeks in an alien environment. Who knows what's happened to her?"

Lightning grumbled. Then she hung up the phone.

She needed to find Serah. Somehow.

Maybe the town would hold the answer.

September the Observer sat on a park bench and watched as people walked by.

 _Emotions…._

And Walter had his vitamins. Yay! Good for him!

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

And where was Rainbow Dash, you might ask?

Sitting on a cloud above the Metropolis, eating corn on the cob.

Yesterday had been awesome. An adventure, meeting and old dude, getting people to worship her, watching a guy's brian shut off, exploring a new town with new people, and SPACESHIPS.

Now? She noticed the strange glances people gave her. Most of the people here were apparently very prejudiced against non-humans.

She'd ask for food, and even offer to pay with the credits Cortana had given her. Some would just flat out refuse, and others would give her the worst of the batch. This place was lame.

She wanted to get in on the action. The adventure. She knew there was sort of a war going on in another part of the galaxy, but that was far away. Nobody wanted to take her along…

Nobody cared about her.

She sighed, and decided to fly around the town once more, maybe she could find SOMEONE nice who wasn't one of those professional starfleet people.

A voice reached her ears.

"Followers of the one true God, we must not let our drive be hindered! These other races that have begun to live amongst us are nothing more than shadows, bad influences that must be removed! We will not have anything to do with them! We WILL drive them out!"

Okay, enough was enough. Rainbow Dash was going to teach this guy a lesson.

"YO WISE GUY." She flew right up and put her snout in his face. "SAY THAT TO MY FACE."

Gaius Baltar faltered. _Why am I asked to do these things?_ He somehow managed to recover, and glared right back at Rainbow Dash. "Why yes, yes I will. Your kind are nothing more than a bad influence to us." He pulled away from her face. "WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS! We will not allow these… 'people' to tell us to do anything! In fact…. GRAB HER."

The crowd charged towards Rainbow Dash.

"Oh no you don't." She flew above the crowd. "Try and get me NOW."

Someone had a lasso. It grabbed RD right around the neck, and pulled, hard.

"ACK! Oh going to play like that huh?" She tried to take off upwards, but too many people were dragging her down.

Spirit Caprica smiled. This was good. "Put a dog collar on her." She told Baltar.

Baltar shivered. He really wasn't comfortable with this. He turned to the real Caprica.

She nodded. "We must do what God wishes."

Rainbow Dash growled and bucked but was eventually subdued by the mob. "GET OFFA ME!"

Baltar walked up to Rainbow Dash with a collar in hand. "You now serve us."

He fastened the collar.

"Brand her." He said, attempting to look impassive.

"She's already branded!" Someone from the crowd said.

Baltar looked at the strange cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt mark on her flank. "Get her neck then."

The symbol of Caprica was burnt into her neck, partially hidden by her hair. It looked like an "0" with a short line coming out of the top and bottom, and a dash on top.

"Why…" She muttered, before collapsing.

The crowd began to cheer.

Baltar shook his head. _What the heck am I doing…_

The Crowd dispersed, dragging Rainbow Dash with them.

Later that night, a cloaked al'kesh landed. Four shadowed figures stepped out, and then mingled with the populace.

No-one noticed them because the drone that was supposed to be patrolling that area was lost several miles in the air.

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GDVKLH PDGH WKLV WZHQWB SHUFHQW FRROHU.

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 **AN**

 **GM: This is what happens when you take one or two running gags, and run with it. (oh puns!) I make no apology for the sheer ridiculous nature of this chapter. :3**

 **Now that that's over..**

 **January 13th is going to be something REALLLLY special. It is Friday the Thirteenth, and we're going to make it bigger, longer, and more epic than any other episode! AND it will also be good as a stand alone story, to be released separately as well. WOOT WOOT. It will be epic… Muahahahhahah!**

 **It will be published October 31st. No exceptions. If we finish it early, (oh wait, it's already finished) we will just work on later episodes. We are NOT posting it before then. Timing is fun.**

 **Though if we get a lot done you guys might get two or three episodes a week for a while…**

 **Until Halloween my readers!**

 **(check out our deviantart. nudge nudge. wink wink. .com)**

 **and since this is the last you'll get from us for about two months… REVIEW. We like stuff like that. FAVORITE and FOLLOW. and SOLVE THAT CONSPIRACY WHEEL.**

 **Also if you PM us the answers to the secret codes, we'll tell you if you're right.**

 **TD: CHEEEECK IIIIIT. now. do it. i'de love to see your mind explode :3**


	14. January 13: Spooky

**AN:**

 **GM- HOOOOOOLY CRAP! Look at this! The first 2012 Special! HOW FUN! It's amazing. It's epic. It's horrific. It's hilarious. It's full of secrets. SOOO MUCH**

 **Based on the game Spooky's House of Jumpscares (Or Spooky's House of Jump Scares, for those of you who care about the space.)**

 **BR: SPOOPY SPOOPY SPOOPY!**

 **TD: Things just got real. Enjoy! ∑:3**

ORBSyndicate presents

In association with nobody other than themselves

2012

Friday, January 13

~~~Spooky~~~

Directed by GabeMaster

Written by GabeMaster, TheDuke, BluestaR, and TheOtherPerson

STARRING

Ali Hillis as Claire "Lightning" Faron

Ashleigh Ball as Applejack

Linda Cardellini as Wendy Corduroy

J. K. Simmons as Stanford Pines

Cliff Simon as Lord Ba'al

Olivia Hack as Ty Lee

David Duchovny as Agent Fox Mulder

Whoever You Want It To Be (but probably David Tennant) as Doctor "Who"

Avery Brooks as Captain Benjamin Sisko

Scott Cawthon as Springtrap

Akuma Kira as Spooky

Psychobilly as The Cat

Alex Hirsch as Bill Cipher

John de Lancie as Q

And a bunch of other people GM is to lazy to look up.

In the wee hours of morning, the time when everything is utterly and completely dark, a blue police box slowly appeared from seemingly nowhere, flashing with blue light and making a strange grinding noise. The sudden appearance of this out-of-place object would have attracted much attention, had anyone been there to hear it. Anyone alive, anyway. As it was, the only thing nearby was the derelict mountaintop mansion. A man walked out of the blue box, smiling to himself. "Adventure awaits!" he declared in a thick English accent and a happy demeanor. His brown coat furled as he walked towards the mansion. He produced a small, cylindrical device with a blue tip, pointing it at the front door's fancy brass lock.

To his surprise, the door was already unlocked. He put the device away in one of his pockets, and marched right between the big oak doors.

They slammed shut behind him, locking with a 'click.'

The Man looked around the mansion in a mix of apprehension, disgust, and slight awe. The styling was late 1800's, early 1900's. Very posh, but the lack of light and the decaying state of the floors, walls, and furniture took away from the luxurious feel, making it feel slightly sinister.

He pulled out a device that looked like a 6 year old assembled it from broken pieces of metal and legos.

A loud ding emitted from the device, it reverberated through the empty lobby, bouncing and sliding off the weakened walls and fading furniture.

"This is my thing! It goes "ding" when there's stuff... What a strangely sinister reading I'm getting.. quite abnormal. Haven't felt this since that one abandoned place… Kravens Manor, I believe it was? What a strange place. Weird mannequins. The research there was abhorrent."

His first step echoed through the hall, and after the echo faded, a groan could be heard throughout the mansion.

"Uh oh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the basement.."

Thunder rolled. It rolled a six, but that doesn't matter much in the physical realm. The mansion was temporarily lit by the sudden light, showcasing its looming and ominous nature. Eerie light began to stream from the windows.

It had begun.

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TICK. TOCK. TICK. TOCK.

TICK. TOCK. TICK. TOCK.

TICK. TOCK. TICK. TICK.

"UUGH!" Agent Fox Mulder groaned, "This is boring. And the clock is broken, AND. IT. IS. DRIVING. ME. INSANE." He threw his sunflower seeds onto the ground. "WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?"

Mulder was an FBI agent with a bit of a strange job. He investigated unexplained phenomena and mysterious events involving the supernatural and extraterrestrial. He had received a tip about a strange girl who was in two places at once. One of these "Wendy Corduroys" was right here in Gravity Falls, a town that had more than a few unusual events connected with it. He was planning on asking her a few questions. When he and his partners had arrived in the morning, he had thought it would be a good idea to get a guide.

It was now late afternoon, and no guide had appeared to take them anywhere.

"You know what?" He said. "I don't care if we get a guide. I'm going to explore on my own. That's what I came to do anyway."

One of his partners, a woman who was currently going by the name Monica, stood up quickly. "FINALLY. I was going stir crazy." She fluffed her black hair and readied her gun.

"You probably won't need that."

"You can never be too sure." She said, giving Mulder a knowing look.

Mulder knew. Monica's name wasn't really Monica. She was really an offworlder who went by the name Lightning and had many strange, one would even say magical, powers. As Lightning, she had been hunted by many organizations who wanted her for various unknown, but probably nefarious, purposes. As Monica, she could be out in the open and try to find a way home. And she could try to find her sister, who was lost in the multiverse just like she was.

Mulder's other partner, a redheaded FBI agent known as Dana Scully, protested. "We should wait for the guide! This is a small town, they probably have lots of little things they do that we would have no clue about if we weren't told about them!"

Mulder shrugged. "You stay here then. We'll go investigate Wendy Corduroy. Come on, Monica." The two of them walked out of the building without another word.

Scully huffed. Mulder would always get these crazy ideas in his head.

Half an hour later, an old man with a square jaw walked in. He was in a rather ridiculous getup, a fancy black suit and fez with a fish-eating-a-dot symbol on it. On his face was an eyepatch. "Hi there! I'm Stanford Pines! And I'm here to take you across town to see the highlights! Chiefly, the Mystery Shack!"

Scully smiled. While Mulder and Lightning were off getting lost, SHE would get some information. "Lead the way, Mr. Pines."

"Gladly miss."

Little did Scully know that she was about to be dragged around the rest of the evening to accomplish nothing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Wendy Corduroy was walking down the street with quite the pep in her step. She was tall for a fifteen year old, her red hair still managing to reach just above her waist. She wore basic jeans, a loose green plaid jacket, and nice square fur cap.

She had just accomplished one of the best pranks of all time. Vandalizing the government outpost had been a GREAT idea, no matter what her friends thought. She had been so secret-agent like, sneaking over the fence, avoiding the one security camera, and spray-painting an obscene word on one of the walls. And then the escape had just been so thrilling! A beeline to freedom.

It had been hours now. She was sure she hadn't been caught. Success!

She looked in a window, seeing her reflection. Freckled, but still awesome. "You, Wendy Corduroy, are amazing."

Then she saw them.

The man and the woman, both wearing official men-in-black type uniforms.

The woman was playing with her gun.

Instantly Wendy's brain made the connection. _Uh-oh. They're here to take me in and put me in some secret government facility!_

In her mind, she had only one choice.

Make a run for it.

Which she did, easily, scrambling as fast as she could.

"Hey stop!" The man yelled. "I just want to talk!"

"NICE TRY!" She yelled back. She wasn't falling for that old trick.

She ran right through town, jumping over crates and random strewn about junk. She even leapt over Deputy Durland, much to his annoyance. The Deputy was quickly trampled by the agents. "Sorry!" Wendy heard the male agent yell.

' _Sorry'. Right. He's just trying to appear nice._

Wendy slid into an alley, scaring a dozen or so cats. She glanced behind her, seeing the agents still in pursuit.

She heard a gunshot, followed quickly by a bullet whizzing by her ear.

"MONICA! WE NEED HER ALIVE."

"I WAS AIMING FOR THE LEG!"

"YOUR AIM IS HORRIBLE WITH THAT GUN!"

Wendy took the opportunity to grab the side of a cardboard box and fling it behind her. _That should slow them down._

It didn't, not really. Monica just kicked it out of the way with her foot.

"Why can't you be that accurate with your gun?"

"I'm used to my Blazefire Sabre!"

"Right."

Wendy took a sharp left, and ran into the woods. The benefits of living in a small town: you knew your way around the nearby forest.

Unfortunately for Wendy, it appeared that the agents were trained to give chase in any kind of terrain. She continued running, thinking maybe she could lose them by going up the steep area. She trudged onward, leaping over roots and branches.

She stole another glance over her shoulder. The agents were still pursuing. Monica thrust her hand forward, a white light flying towards Wendy. She dodged it, her panic escalating even higher. These agents were decked out with top secret gear! She was toast unless she found somewhere to hide!

She managed to get even more speed, going up the increasingly steep slope. She dodged another one of the white flashes.

"GET HIT AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!" Monica yelled.

Wendy yelled back. "THANKS, BUT NO THANKS." She hefted herself up over a ledge, onto a more rocky terrain.

She saw a mansion atop the mountain-hill. Maybe she could make it…

She gathered up what energy she had left, and made a dash for the mansion. Her legs felt like they were about to fall off, her heart feeling like it would explode. _Just a little further…_

She literally ran into the front door, giving her forehead quite a bruise. She threw the big oak doors open, and shut them behind her. They clicked. She was inside.

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Mulder threw his hands in the air. "Great! Just great!"

Lightning wasn't done yet. She tried to open the doors, and then began to kick them vigorously. "OPEN UP!" She lit her hand on fire. "FIRA." She yelled, casting her fire spell. A blast of fire erupted near the door, but the door remained unsinged.

"D***." She cursed, and continued kicking the door.

Mulder observed the mansion. It was roughly three stories high, with various protruding designs that covered the building in unnerving shadows. Utop the building was a large cross, its presence seeming to be nothing more than a joke. The windows were alit with a faint eerie light. Mulder sensed an air of unrest. _No…. it was deeper than that. Not unrest… anger. A dark seething anger. There was malevolence in this mansion. Plain and simple._

Out of the corner of his eye, Mulder could see the TARDIS. But there was something wrong. It was tipped over, one door hung slightly ajar. That never happened, it had stabilizers preventing that, at least he thought so. The fact continued to lend its ear to a feeling of unease and err deep inside Mulder. _I do hope the Doctor is not hurt… that would be inconvenient._

Mulder realized something at that moment. It was only early evening. There was no WAY it could be this dark already. It was unnatural.

Mulder realized this was the mansion he had heard about from the bus driver. He tried to open the doors by grabbing the handles, and they opened up easily.

Lightning glared. She hated it when he made things look easy. She also hated it when he made her feel like an idiot. Needless to say, she was trying really hard not to retaliate in some way. They walked into the main hall, guns drawn.

The doors shut and locked behind them.

The two whirled around in alarm. Doors didn't do that unless you were in some kind of horror story.

"Oh but you are in a horror story." A young, echoing voice said. "My horror story." The young voice continued: "I've sure been getting a lot of visitors lately…"

The agents turned to see one of the most adorable things ever. She was a ghost, but she was really short and had those nice big eyes. Her face was simple, her colors all a nice calm blue. Her dress was simple and her features smooth, her blue hair wisping around in that cute way only cartoon hair can. The only unnerving parts about her were the fact that she was floating, and had no legs. But such things were to be expected from a ghost.

"Hello! I am Spooky!"

As if on cue lightning struck and illuminated the room through the windows.

"Can you, humble visitors, make it through a thousand rooms? Can you make it to the end? Or is there even an end? Cuz I don't really know…" Spooky coughed. "I've said that line too many times today… Just… Just go."

Before the agents could say anything, Spooky simply floated into the ceiling.

Mulder and Lightning gave each other a glance.

They tried the front door. Locked, of course.

Lightning sighed. A thousand rooms. Great. Might as well get moving.

She grabbed Mulder by the neck. "Come on. We've got things to do."

Mulder grunted. Scully should've been here. Undeniable proof of a ghost.

Lightning threw open the only door aside from the entrance, and began the trek.

As the door automatically shut behind her, it locked.

In the now empty main hall, the front door pulsed with lightning. It shimmered with energy.

An S shaped glow began to appear on the doors. Something had just cracked.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Captain Benjamin Sisko had his dark-skinned hands folded. Being the starfleet commander of the space station Deep Space Nine had many positive points. Being forced to do diplomatic duty wasn't one of them. He raised his bald head to look at the man in front of him.

The man opposite him appeared human, but wasn't, not really. He was Lord Ba'al, a Goa'uld system lord. His features were like that of a person who wanted to scam you: angled, wrinkled, and smiling. There was even a small scruffy beard to complete the image. Though the royal robes did upset it a bit.

"Explain to me why we shouldn't just blow you out of the sky?" Sisko asked.

Ba'al smirked. "I can help you Captain. You _and_ your people. I can give you information you desperately need. You see, I am not from this galaxy either."

"Explain." Sisko said, curious.

"There is a wormhole a few dozen light years from this position that leads right back to what you call the Milky Way galaxy."

Sisko raised an eyebrow. The Milky Way galaxy. A place they knew. Even if it wasn't the correct timeline, they knew the layout of that galaxy. They could probably pick up a few allies. "Where is it?"

Ba'al laughed. "Please. I'm not telling you anything till you give me what I want."

"And what is that?"

"It's a small thing really, a-" Ba'al stopped mid-sentence, staring. "Is there supposed to be a set of oak doors behind you?"

Sisko turned around. There wasn't supposed to be but there most certainly was now. Two large oak doors stood where no doors had stood before, sitting there ominously.

Sisko, with a puzzled look on his face, opened the door and entered. Ba'al followed, an equally puzzled expression on his own features.

The doors shut behind them, pulsing with unusual electricity. They locked with an audible 'click.' A cute cartoon ghost appeared before their eyes. "Strange. I didn't sense anyone outside the house. Oh well… I am Spooky!"

She paused, as if waiting for something. Nothing came. "Gotta fix the lightning…"

Ba'al stepped forth. "I am Lord Ba'al. Where are we, little child?"

"Child? I am- nevermind. You are in my house. Can you make it through a thousand rooms and get to the end that may or may not exist?"

Sisko glared. "Return us to where we-"

"Yeah… I'm sorry the front door is one-way only. You'll have to use the exit. Sorry. Bye!" She floated right into the ceiling, vanishing.

Ba'al clapped his hands. "Well my dear Captain, it looks as if we are stuck with each other! Lead the way!"

Sisko's face hardened. He had a feeling this was going to go very, very badly.

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Ty Lee was exploring the base. Of course, she had already been everywhere with her access level dozens of times, but she was exploring nevertheless. Exploring was her thing. Prance down this hall, familiar science lab. Prance down this hall, familiar weapons locker. Prance down that hall, familiar large mysterious oak door. Prance down- wait what? Oak door? Mysterious? Ty Lee backed up a few steps and peeked around the corner again. Yup still there. She peered at the door. The door seemed to peer back. Ty Lee ducked back behind the corner. Then she charged at the door with a flying kick. The doors opened before she hit them, causing her to land on her butt. "Ouch…" She muttered, rubbing herself. "That's going to bruise…"

"Well, another visitor. Wonderful, How'd you get in anyway…? I locked everything… I think." A cartoon ghost said.

"Through the big oak doors in the SGC!" Ty lee shouted happily. She always liked adventures. And confused people.

"Hrm? You mean you didn't get here through Gravity Falls? Ummmm… that's strange." the ghost said. "Well since you're here… I'm Spooky... There are a thousand rooms… blah blah blah... you get the picture? I've done this too many times today. Just get going, bye." Spooky proceeded to disappear into a wall.

Ty lee was confused. Well! Whatever! Might as well go through the thousand rooms just for the heck of it. She pranced down the hall to a door, opened it, and ran deeper into the mansion.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning and Mulder walked into the next room. This particular one was yet another bedroom. There was a basic black window, a simple bed, a desk, a lamp, and a ripped painting.

Lightning was already bored. "Oh look, yet another simplistic room."

Mulder shrugged. "Wendy has to be in here somewhere. We just have to keep going."

"Maybe she went down the LEFT door in that other room…"

"I told you Lightning, the we always choose the right door unless there is a specific reason not to!"  
Lightning glared. "The fact that you choose it every time seems like a way for you to become predictable."

Mulder had no response to this. He decided to take the opportunity to check the desk.

Inside was an old piece of paper. Upon it were the words:

 _At first this place just seemed cute, but I've been here for days now... I'm feeling quite parched now, and I keep getting this feeling like I am being watched by something._

 _This is not romantic at all..._

Lightning cocked her head. "Um… romantic?"

"He or she is probably using the old version of the word romantic. Referring to a way of thought prevalent in the-"

Lightning tuned Mulder out, and threw open the next door. "I suspect that note was just planted to scare us. This is probably some attraction of somesort."

"Explain for the lack of people coming to the attraction and the ghost."

"Abandoned and holographic."

"Geez. You're just like Scully."

Lightning smirked. "I try."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee pranced from room to room. Boring room to boring room. Even the bedrooms didn't have anything interesting. _I swear I'm going to die from boredom!_

As she pranced down a ridiculously long hallway, something popped out of the wall with a BANG. She stopped dead in her tracks, shutting her eyes and screaming.

After a few seconds, she cracked an eye open to see a cute cardboard cutout sitting on the wall. It was of a blue, round ghost.

"Awww… aren't you just adorable!" She felt kinda silly, being scared of a dumb cardboard cutout. She proceeded to continue along her way not a care in the-

Another loud sound almost stopped her heart. In front of her was yet ANOTHER cardboard cutout, this one of a cute green jellyfish-like thing. She took a moment to catch her breath. "Nothing's wrong Ty Lee… they can't hurt you…."

A tad shaken, she continued on.

As she shut the doors, the cardboard cutouts vanished, and Wendy walked in from the place Ty Lee had originally come from.

She realized she had lost the agents a long time ago. Course now she was equally screwed, lost inside some creepy neverending house.

Had there been a ghost girl at the entry? She wasn't entirely sure. She'd ran through that room rather fast. Wendy shrugged, it was probably best just to keep moving-

BEEEYORNG!

Wendy screamed, stopping mid scream as she saw the cute blue ghost in front of her. Her face turned red as anger appeared on her face.

She punched the cutout. It just wobbled.

Wendy glared at the offending thing, watching it closely as she backed down the hallway.

KATHUNK!

Wendy leapt five feet into the air and whirled around to see what was behind her.

It was, of course, a green jellyfish thing.

The angry face returned. "SON OF A-

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _I know something is following me. But I feel like I am prancing through the same rooms over and over... Hopefully leaving notes as breadcrumbs will prove I am making progress and reaching some destination._

 _I just hope I don't run out of ink. I am dreadfully thirsty._

"You know…" Mulder mused. "It seems like we are progressing much faster than this romantic fellow…"

"I'm telling you it's just a prank. Nothing more than a funhouse."

Mulder shook his head. "I don't think so. I'm getting that vibe I get when Scully's wrong about something."

Lightning rolled her eyes, kicking open the door to the next room, which was very purple. "Oh look PURPLE. How SCARY." Lightning droned, picking up another piece of paper.

 _Ink..._

 _Not quite quenching my thirst._

 _Taste is terrible, stains are terrible._

 _I don't think drinking it was a very romantic idea._

Mulder shook his head. "I don't think I'd ever be THAT desperate…"

Lightning gave him a look. "Have you been dying of thirst lately?"

"No but… hey if this was just a joke how would he be dying of-"

"It is a joke. By someone who knows what it's like to be dying of thirst."

"I really don't-"

SCREEEEMBAM!

Mulder and Lightning drew their guns simultaneously and fired.

The cute spider cutout got one hole in it.

"You missed." Lightning said.

"I'm pretty sure you missed." Mulder retorted.

Lightning put away her gun. "Now I'm sure this is a big joke. Look. Cardboard jumpscare, like you see in a silly kiddie haunted house."

"They have those on Cocoon?"

"Yep. Though instead of cute spiders there were actually scary looking Pulse Fal'Cie cutouts."

"Amazing. My haunted houses always had alien faces."

"You were a strange kid."

"Obviously."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ba'al was carrying around a cardboard skeleton as a weapon.

"You have a gun…" Sisko observed.

"Guns do not carry a level of intimidation that I require." Ba'al retorted.

"It's a cute skeleton. Making a 'rawr' pose."

"To anyone here it's in the hand of a psycho. I say the cuteness adds an extra disturbing factor. And you were just as scared of it as I was."

Sisko sighed. He did NOT need to be reminded of that. "Let's just keep moving… something's bound to happen eventually."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee pranced into the next room, only to have a pumpkin cutout slap her in the face.

"YOU LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE CUTE THINGS! Just because I've stopped being scared of you doesn't mean you need to SLAP ME IN THE FACE!"

The cutout stared back at her with a derp face.

Ty Lee's face turned red, then she let out a sigh. "Nevermind. You can't do anything. You're just a cutout. I'll be on my-"

One of them tripped her.

"I WILL BECOME A CUTOUT MURDERER. BEWARE THE POWERFUL TY LEE, FOR SHE WILL DESTROY ALL YOUR CUTE FACES!"

She walked a few steps. No cutouts leapt out at her.

"That's better."

In the next hallway three jumped her at once.

She kicked them all down. "I warned you." She grunted. She walked around a corner to have one shoot out into her crotch area.

She winced and collapsed on the floor for a moment. "Ow. owowowowowow. YOU JERKS!" She stormed off.

She made it about five yards before she was tripped by a chili pepper cutout.

Her angry yells filled the house.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Wendy could swear she heard someone screaming in fear.

Her mind, at that moment, decided it was a good idea to gain the attitude of "I MUST BE THE HERO AND SAVE EVERYONE!"

She ran through the next five rooms without even looking. She would have kept going had she not stepped in some kind of strange green liquid.

"Ugh it's just like the molten jello at that one party. Totally lame!" She grunted forward, kicking the dark green jelly off her boots. _Note to self: do not step in jello. Takes forever to get out of._

She noticed a note sitting on a table. It was red, and seemed to be dripping with some kind of red liquid.

 _Spouting, Splashing, Soaking._

 _Innards, Ingest, Invoking._

 _Nailing, Never, stops the Choking._

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Someone failed alliteration class." She licked her fingers. Huh, the red stuff actually tasted like blood. Weird.

Then she heard a thick, moaning, raspy voice from behind her.

"Running, shouting, out of breath

Now's the time to take your test

You think you're clever, you think you're quick,

But in due time you'll be feeling sick."

She slowly turned around to see something rising out of the green jello. There was a vaguely humanoid torso, with a head that only had one feature: a big mouth with flat, even teeth leading into a black abyss. A hand reached forth towards her.

"We are one but I am many."

Wendy's mind had one thought: _NOPE._

She took off at high speed into the next room, which was much bigger than any of the others. She could see no ceiling. Or floor. Just a narrow pathway next to a drop into utter and complete nothingness. In the distance, she could see a torch.

She took off down the narrow path when she heard the jello being blorping through the door behind her. She was athletic. She lived in a middle-of-nowhere country town. She was a flippin' Corduroy! She could run down a narrow area without a guardrail. Right?

Yes, as it turned out, she could. Unfortunately she did not take into account the possibility of a dead end. She stopped cold in her tracks, seeing a chair just sitting there, mocking her. _Hey why don't you take a break and sit down?_ It said to her. _Wait for your doom like a good snack…_ Wendy shook her head, looking for a way out. She could just barely see another ledge a ways away. Too far to safely jump…

She turned around to see the creature slowly making its way towards her.

Yeah screw it. Try the jump anyway. She leapt, barely grabbing onto the ledge with her fingers. At an agonizingly slow pace, she managed to pull herself up over the edge. She turned to the poetic slime and went "NYAH."

The creature's base began to evaporate, turning into a gaseous vapor. It began to float towards her.

"OH COME ON!" She said, before taking off.

The creature shot slime bolts at her, covering the floor around her in the jello. Fear struck into Wendy's heart. She was now much, much slower.

"Come ON hiking boots! DO YOUR THING!"

Amazingly, they did. They trudged through the slime just in time to get away.

Wendy reached the end of the abyss, at long last. She threw the door open, looking around for something to block the door. Anything.

Three rooms later she found a chair and propped it up. "Take THAT."

She watched in disdain as the being slid in from under the door. Its teeth took shape first, snarling right at her. Slime got all over her face before her feet realized that it was time to get moving once again.

She ran into a strange room with metallic walls. There was no door.

 _Oh no oh no…_ Then she saw it. A "down" button. She hammered on it with her fist.

The entire room began to descend. It was an elevator.

Wendy took in a deep breath, sitting down. She decided to take in the room. There was a pink cross on one side, and an empty desk on the other. Above the desk was a cute poster of a cat on a branch with the caption "Hang in there!"

Through her exhausted panting breath, Wendy had the energy to look directly at the poster, give it the finger, and say "F*** you."

She was not having a good day. You understand of course.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _I found something today to satisfy my unromantic thirst. I awoke today from a brief faint, and found before me a bottle of red wine!_

 _I am not sure what brand or year, for there is no label. All I gather is that it tastes strongly metallic._

"Yep, yer drinkin blood. Or at least that's what you want us to think."

Mulder rolled his eyes. "And I'm the crazy one. You're talking to notes."

The two continued walking, shooting one liners at each other.

SCREEEEEEEE-

The ice cream cone didn't even get to complete its noise before Lightning punched it down. "I'm getting sick of those things."

"Same." Mulder paused. "We just agreed on something."

"Amazing, isn't it?"

A few rooms later, There was another note

 _I don't think that was wine..._

"No s***." Lightning muttered.

Mulder rolled his eyes. "Let's just continue on. Be on your guard."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee hadn't seen a cutout in over twenty rooms.

Even the elevator room hadn't had anything. Just an adorable motivational cat poster.

The only rooms she was absolutely positive were safe from the cutouts were the abyss rooms. There WERE no walls. Those rooms, however, had their own spooky vibe to them. The sheer fact that there appeared to be NO BOTTOM might've had something to do with it.

She threw open yet another door to yet another room that was exactly the sa-

wait.

This was different.

She was in a room made entirely of metal. Old, dirty metal. There were three doors, each of which were metallic and had a green tinted window on them. She approached one, but the green windows were too dirty to see through.

She tried one of them. The handle broke off in her hands. She tried another. It was locked by some kind of key card scanner.

Ty Lee blinked. This mansion had seemed kind of old. Where on earth did they get a key card system? She barely even knew what a key card system WAS, seeing as she had only noticed them at the SGC.

Speaking of the SGC...

She tried her SGC access card. The door beeped angrily at her.

"Worth a shot." She muttered. She tried the third door. It opened with a loud rusty creak, causing shivers to rise up her spine. She timidly poked her head around the corner, looking into a strange hallway lined with green human-sized test tubes.

She shuddered. She looked inside the tubes. Most were empty, but a few had strange fleshy beings inside. Some were big and muscular, others were tiny and fetus-like. One even had a raptor head.

Ty Lee decided to do what her friend Deadpool would do in that situation. She looked at some random point in space, put on a cocky expression, gestured at the raptor head, saying, "Raptor head? Really? Come on people."

She put her hand to her face, pondering. She really didn't understand what Deadpool got out of that. She shrugged, walking over to the desk. On it was a keycard and a note. Ty Lee picked up the keycard like it was her ticket to heaven. She glanced at the note.

 _Subject 5 is growing more and more restless. I told Spook we need more funds for sedatives, but she just laughed and flew into the ceiling. Without more chemicals to keep these things docile, I'm not sure how much longer we can keep them here safely._

 _\- Generic Lab Assistant_

After Ty Lee had a laughing fit about the "Generic Lab Assistant" signature, she noticed that one of the giant test tubes was broken.

AND empty.

She paled, then she shook her head. Nothing had hurt her yet. What were the chances something was going to now? It was all just fun and games. ADVENTURE!

She pranced out of the room, not even noticing that this was the first time a door let her go through it both ways, and unlocked the door with the keycard.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw the pool of blood on the floor. She saw a note in the pool, soaking up blood. She read it from a distance. She wasn't touching that puddle.

 _I believe subject 5 is loose. The glass around its container is shattered, and I can faintly hear clicking coming from the ceiling. I don't know what will happen now. If it is out and alive then this is probably my last report. The clicking is getting louder now._

 _\- Generic Lab Assistant_

As if on cue, Ty Lee heard clicking coming from the ceiling. It sounded like some kind of bug with loooooots of legs.

"They're just trying to scare me-"

Something crashed down from the ceiling. It had eight legs, though its body was more akin to that of a centipede than a spider. Eight piercing green eyes stared out from above a gaping maw with innumerable pincers.

 _It's just trying to scare me right? Not really dangerous right?_

Subject 5 gnashed its pincers.

 _Yeah not taking the chance._

Ty Lee was FAST. Much faster than a regular human. She could rival olympic athletes. And unlike Wendy, she was more used to peril, so she wasn't in a state of panic.

Normally she would have easily outrun the eight-legged bug. But two things were working against her.

1) It was able to crawl around in the ceiling, taking shortcuts.

2) There were cardboard cutouts determined to make Ty Lee's life a living hell.

Just as she bounded over a chair, one of the cutouts shot out and hit her in the face. She punched right through the offending ghost, turning around to see subject 5 right behind her.

"Fiddlesticks." She muttered as she ran through yet another room.

The cutouts didn't appear to hate her anymore (the amount of physical violence had dropped), but the fact that she was slowing down enough as to not face plant right into them was enough.

She FELT the breath of the bug on her at one point. It smelled like a combo of rancid bacon with old cheese. Why it smelled like this, well, your guess is as good as anyone else's.

Ty Lee got a lot of headway in the abyss room, leaping over holes the bug couldn't cross.

It caught back up to her later, however, in the long hallway. "Caught up" of course meaning that it dropped down right in front of her, pincers gnashing.

She took in a deep breath, and leapt - firmly planting her foot on the bug's head, using it as a springboard. She sailed right over the bug, waving as she passed over. She hit the ground rolling, ducking under a cutout that decided it would pop out at that moment. She threw the door open, waving at the bug once more, before slamming the door behind her. She grabbed a chair and propped it up against the door. She let out a sigh of relief.

Then subject 5 dropped from the ceiling, blocking the way to the next door.

Ty Lee's face hardened into anger. "You wanna fight? FINE!" She took a stance, analyzing her opponent. A very large bug with no visible pressure points. Seemingly coated completely in impervious exoskeleton armor.

The only features appeared to be the mouth and the eyes.

Wait a moment.

Ty Lee leapt into the air, hands readied. She delivered several dozen pokes and prods to the eyes of the eight-legged creature. A few of the eyes gushed fluids as Ty Lee hit them. Subject 5 reeled in pain, backing away.

Ty Lee grinned, kicked the thing's rear end, and walked into the next room.

She felt great.

That is, until one of the cutouts hit her in the face.

"What even ARE you? You look like a TREE STUMP!"

The cutout just stared back with its cute expression.

"Don't give me that look!"

It continued to give her that look.

She slapped it. These cutouts were going to be the death of her.

Then she realized she had eye juice all over her hands.

"EEEEEEW."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _I don't know how much longer I can go on..._

 _I haven't seen any of my previous notes, so that means either I'm getting somewhere or someone is taking them._

Mulder looked up. "We've been leaving these where we find them right?"

Lightning slapped him atop the head. "Dolt! These things are on OLD PAPER. They've been there for a LONG TIME."

"Ah. Right. Of course. I knew that."

Lightning sighed. Here she was. Stuck with this dolt. This was just great.

They continued on in silence, for once, barely stopping to glance at the next note.

 _I think this is my last note. I'm going to die having never found my escape, but really that's not true. This place was like my escape. My escape from everything else. In the end my death is kind of romantic._

"Okay that's just cheesy." Lightning said.

Mulder scratched his chin. It did seem rather cheesy and forced. Then again it WAS just a note. How much emotion could you really put into words on a piece of paper?

As he thought that, a cardboard cutout shot out of the wall, starting him. This particular cutout was of a frowning piece of toast. It seemed to be saying _Why you think that?_

Lightning chuckled. "Thought you weren't scared of those anymore?"

"I didn't shoot it did I?"

"Let's just move."

They arrived in an elevator room. Lightning hit the down button before bothering to look around. She glanced to see Mulder staring at something in fear.

"What?"

He pointed.

There, on the ground, was a human skeleton. Next to it was an quill and a hat that was probably fancy before the mites got to it decades ago.

"There's no way that's real." Lightning said, staring.

"They wouldn't bother to replicate the imperfections in the teeth. Look at this, they're uneven. If they were going to make a fake one, even a good one, a normal set of teeth would be cheaper to make."

"Maybe they're just trying to fool people like you?"

"Very few people would bother to notice the denture designs on human remains, Lightning."

Lightning shuddered. "Okay, so maybe there is something going on here."

Mulder blinked. He had NOT expected her to give so easily. It usually took much longer to get Scully on board. He actually smirked.

The elevator stopped its descent. They left through the exit door without any special ceremony. What were you expecting, dramatic description of Resident Evil ripoff door?

A few rooms of poking around later, including a strange room with pools of vibrant green slime, they arrived in a room that was much different than the ones they'd been in before.

It was too dark to see. Mulder flicked on his flashlight, illuminating what appeared to be an old and abandoned school hall. Rusted lockers lined the halls, some of them broken, some of them lying on the ground. Mulder poked his head through a door, seeing an old and dusty classroom. The chalkboard had lots of Japanese characters on it.

"You know Japanese?" Mulder asked.

"What?" Lightning asked, confused.

"Nevermind. Dumb question."

Mulder picked up a piece of notebook paper. "Hey. This is in english…"

 _Could it really be true? I thought the fairy tales about the ghost eating children who sneak in after class was just to keep us from disobeying. But Matsuri is still missing._

Lightning stared at it. "So, we're in an old and abandoned school where people went missing. Just great. One question: Why is this inside the mansion?"

Mulder looked up, a look of dread filling his face. "I just realized something… there's no way this many rooms could fit in the mansion."

"Basement?"

"The layout is all wrong. We would have come out of the mountain by now…"

Lightning growled. "Someone's toying with us."

"Indeed." Mulder walked back into the hallway, looking into another classroom.

It seemed the same as the other. He flipped his flashlight around, checking the room for anything interesting.

As he passed over the desks, something flickered into focus. A shadow of a person, a child. Just black, sitting in their seat.

Mulder walked towards the thing. It made no movement, all he heard was a faint noise that sounded like whispering.

He reached out with his finger to touch it.

The pain rocked through his body, making him yell out. "AUGH!"

Lightning rushed in, blasting the shadow with a thunder spell, causing it to promptly vanish. "You alright?"

Mulder panted. "I think I'm fine. It was just pain, after all."

Then Lightning's eyes widened. She grabbed Mulder's flashlight and pointed at the other desks.

Every last one had a shadow child. Every last one was just sitting there, motionless.

Mulder and Lightning slowly backed out of the classroom, shutting the door behind them. They slowly walked to the end of the hallway.

Then they heard a loud sigh from behind them. "Why won't you stay?" A quiet, girl's voice said.

The two companions turned slowly behind them. In the hallway, apparently sitting on nothing, was a ghost girl. She was completely unlike Spooky in virtually every way. Her eyes were soulless black holes, her mouth a large slit across her face. Her hands were claws caked in blood, and her legs were black like the abyss. Her hair whipped around her like talons, tearing at her bleak, grey dress. "I do enjoy friends…"

Lightning waved. "Hi." Then she ran out the door. "BYE."

The ghost sighed, before giving chase. "Always the same…"

Something about this irked Lightning. She stopped running. The room was nice and big. She turned to face the ghost. "You know what? Bring it. I've faced creatures a billion times stronger than you, I shouldn't be even remotely creeped out by you!"

The girl laughed, her face opening to blackness. "You don't get it do you… you will be safe with me. There is no need to fight. Just come to me, my child."

Lightning prepared herself. "How about no?"

"Very well…" The ghost moved forward, claws outstretched.

"CURE" Lightning yelled, flinging the holy magic at the ghost. She shrieked, before sinking into the ground. There was silence for a moment, before the ghost's laughter could be heard coming from every direction simultaneously.

Mulder facepalmed. "Now what are we going to do? She's in the WALLS."

The voice came. " _She_ has a name you know… I am Ringu…"

"Well, Ringu, mind telling us your elaborate backstory before you make us… safe?"

"No. There is no story. My child was taken from me. I must protect all others…"

 _That sounds like a story to me…_ Mulder thought. "We aren't children though…"

"Matsuri cared for all… all must be safe… within ME!" She screamed as she rose out of the floor, mouth widening, ready to swallow Mulder whole.

Then, out of nowhere, a six-fingered hand grabbed her. On the said hand was a strange electric glove. Ringu shrieked in pain as energy coursed through her body. She flew off in a random direction.

Mulder and Lightning turned to their savior. He was a tall, older man with a square jaw and large glasses. He had flowing grey hair with impressive sideburns, and was wearing some kind of strange black sci-fi adventuring suit. On his back were slung what appeared to be various unusual guns, each of a different model and design. And each of his hands had six fingers.

"That won't keep her forever. We've got to move." He waved his hand, gesturing that they follow.

Mulder raised a hand. "ONE question: who are you?"

"You may call me Ford. We mustn't dilly-dally, this house changes in ways you couldn't imagine."

Ford pulled a black cloak over himself, and marched forward. "Come! We don't have all day!"

Mulder shrugged, and followed.

Lightning wasn't sure what it was, but there was something about this Ford character that was nagging at her brain. Something she felt like she should know.

The group of three walked through the next rooms at a brisk pace. After a while, Ford slowed down and took out a high-tech data pad engraved with a six-fingered hand symbol with the infinity symbol. He typed into it using one of his hands. "I believe introductions are in order? I am Ford, I travel dimensions looking for my homeworld, a quiet place called Earth."

Mulder blinked. "I'm from Earth-"

"Probably not the right one. You'd be surprised how common a name Earth is. Does your Earth have one single grey moon?"

"Yes."

"Is mostly water?"

"Yes."

"Shares its system with a gas giant that has an impressive golden ring system?"

"Yes."

At this point Ford stopped looking skeptical, and looked hopeful. "Is one of the countries the United States of America?"

"Yes."

Ford grinned. "You know what this means don't you?" He said as he grabbed Mulder by the shoulders. "You simply must tell me how to get home!"

"Um…" Mulder said, glancing at Lightning. She gave him a "You're on your own" look. He sighed. "You see… We're lost in this house here. We came INTO here from Earth. Gravity Falls, Oregon, to be exact."

Ford sighed. "I suppose it was too good to be true… Perhaps the way back is somewhere in this mansion. It must be. You got in. Who are you two by the way?"

"I'm FBI agent Fox Mulder and this is agent Monica Reyes. We work on the X-files-"

"-Fringe-X division-" Lightning corrected.

Mulder sighed. "We investigate the weird and unexplained. Supernatural and extraterrestrial."

"Earth has made contact with the supernatural and extraterrestrial?" Ford asked, interested.

"Not officially. We're considered kinda crazy."

"Ah. I've been there. I was obsessed with anomalies all my life, and was always shunned for my beliefs. Of course, my interest in them got me lost in the multiverse…"

Lightning grunted. He wasn't the only one with problems.

Ford recomposed himself. "Oh! I should probably show you something I found! There was a computer a ways back detailing the creatures that inhabit this house. I downloaded it all to my jPad. Here." He tapped an icon on the jPad, producing something called the CAT-DOS.

On the CAT-DOS were five entries.

SPECIMEN_1 were the cardboard cutouts. They had been deemed 'not very effective,' having only caused 4 fatalities.

SPECIMEN_2 was some kind of greenish black creature with teeth. It had been deemed 'very effective against weaker or slower subjects.' Apparently a lot of subjects were weak and/or slow, because the fatalities count was 137

SPECIMEN_3 only had 43 fatalities, and was some kind of eight-legged centipede. It was apparently being developed at someplace called GL Labs.

SPECIMEN_4 was Ringu. She had 85 fatalities.

Mulder was staring wide eyed. "Um…"

Lightning nodded. This was no longer a joke.

Ford sighed. "I've encountered these four. My gloves are effective against numbers 2 and 4, and my guns keep number 3 away. But this next one I've never seen…"

 _SPECIMEN_5_

 _Type: Active_

 _Total Fatalities: 168?_

 _Method: Unknown_

 _A creature found inside the church of a small town. Subjects are lost after contact with the specimen. Current method of killing is unknown. Proved extremely effective against subjects with mental issues or weak wills._

An image filled the screen of a faceless humanoid that might, or might not, have been female. The image seemed impassive and blank, like the thing didn't care.

Mulder pondered this. "I wonder what the definition of weak will is?"

"Exactly." Ford said. "You think you have a strong will, but you have nothing to compare with in this case. Over a hundred and sixty people were killed by this thing, it may be more effective than we think."

Lightning butted in. "Is anyone ELSE mildly disturbed that these specimens are rated by their effectiveness at killing?"

Mulder and Ford glanced at each other.

This house.

It was a death trap.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Sisko and Ba'al arrived in a room with a strange green-black sludge puddle in the middle.

Ba'al stepped in the puddle, and promptly decided to rip all the goo off his shoe that he could by jumping up and down like a moron. Sisko picked up a sheet of paper dripping in a red substance that was most likely blood.

 _ERROR 002313FB_GEL_

 _CANNOT RELEASE TWICE._

 _EXIT THROUGH EXPRESS._

Sisko wondered what the heck THAT meant.

"Sisko. Come here. Tell me." Ba'al pointed. "That door. It wasn't there before you picked the note up was it?"

Sisko checked the wall. Sure enough, there was a door that wasn't there before. He shrugged. Why not?

Ba'al and Sisko made their exit from the room.

Specimen 2 slid into the room a few seconds later, looking for prey. Strange. It thought it had sensed humans.

It slid away.

Meanwhile, Sisko and Ba'al continued down the Express Tunnel.

"I wonder what we're skipping past…" Sisko muttered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Wendy walked into a room with three arcade machines. One was blank and featureless, while the other two were nice and colorful, plastered with the titles "Mrs. Spook" and "Mall of the Spook."

Wendy shrugged. She sure could use a break. She pulled up to the "Mall of the Spook" arcade. What followed was a game that played on her morbid curiosity perfectly. She played as a blueish ghost girl who went down a giant mall slicing people with a knife. Sometimes their throats would be cut, and sometimes their heads would explode. Of course it was all in the most gruesome way possible.

She became oddly addicted to killing the people. She didn't put the game down until she heard a scream beside her.

"OH MY GOSH NO! She killed the poor yellow thing! WHY? WHY?"

Wendy turned from the console to see a teenage brown-haired girl in a pink acrobat outfit looking at "Mrs. Spook" like it was from the deepest darkest pit of hell.

She overcame her fear, then saw Wendy.

The two stared at each other, motionless. Each were thinking the exact same thing: _Is this another thing that wants to kill me?_

Ty Lee spoke first. "So… you have an axe behind you?"

Wendy blinked. "What? No. Though that would be useful… Then again I'm not sure it'd be effective against the green thing…"

"Green thing? I had a big bug."

Wendy shrugged. "Guess we each got something different… Just to clarify, you AREN'T here to kill me?"

"Nope! Definitely not!" Ty Lee grinned. "I'm just here to kill all the cardboard cutouts!" She grabbed Wendy. "Shall we go?"

Wendy suddenly wasn't too sure about the girl in front of her. "Sure…"

"Great!" Ty Lee began to prance down the hallway to the next room.

Wendy paused for a moment at the blank arcade.

ENTER CODE: _ _ _ _

She shrugged. It probably wasn't important.

The very next room, Ty Lee started yammering. "So I got here because I found a weird door in a secret underground base. What about you?"

Wendy put on her 'proud' look. "I was running away from government agents!"

"No way! Really? Awesome! You know I've worked with AND ran away from agents before! Both are fun!"

Wendy squinted her eyes. Maybe this girl wasn't on her side. "Who are you anyway?"  
"I'm Ty Lee, acrobat extraordinaire! I'm always happy and looking for another advent-"

A cutout shot out of the wall with a BYOOOP.

"YOU PIECE OF…" Ty Lee took a breath. "Always happy… PINK AURA Ty Lee. BE PINK…"

Wendy blinked. "Um… what did those cutouts do to you?"

Ty Lee turned around with a crazed look. "They are soulless creatures that will make your life a living nightmare."

Wendy blinked. "Okaaaaaaaay."

Ty Lee's face brightened into a ridiculously happy smile. "Good! Now ONWARD- uh…"

"Wendy."

"That's a nice name. Goes well with your scarlet aura."

Wendy rolled her eyes. So she was crazy. At least she wasn't harmful.

Then the two girls heard a chiche western-country voice shout. "WE NEED TO SKEDADDLE!" They watched as what appeared to be an orange pony wearing a cowboy hat ran past them. "HURRY IT UP!"

Ty Lee and Wendy decided to steal a glance behind them.

The door flipped open, revealing a tall, featureless humanoid that _might_ have been female. It had no face, and it carried a tremendous blade.

Ty Lee's brain froze. The walls turned to blood, and images flooded her vision.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _An image came into focus._

 _A girl, tied up and chained to the ground. All along the ground, drawn in blood, was an elaborate pentagram._

 _There were a dozen around her, chanting. Repeating. "Appease the darkness! Appease the darkness! Appease the darkness!"_

 _The girl screamed as she burned. As she froze. As the claws from the depths of the sky reached down and tore her limb from limb, tearing open her chest. Bones cracking, organs flying._

 _Then, the claws stopped. A sound that could only be described as pure rage filled the room._

 _One of those around her gasped. "She wasn't pure!"_

 _The leader of the cult stepped forth, hands outstretched, trying to prevent the inevitable. The girl became enveloped by blood-red shadows, turning her slowly inside out, creating the featureless being of darkness. It slowly rose, impassively staring at the cult._

 _It picked up a giant knife._

 _The mist moved in, and the walls became blood._

 _The cult had failed their Mother._

 _Then everything went static._

 _[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]_

Ty Lee stood, frozen to the spot. That… that was horrible.

She looked around. All she could see were Mother, the bloody walls, Wendy, and that western pony. She couldn't see the doors.

"Where do we GO?" She yelled, grabbing her head.

Her two companions stared back at her. "Come on! The door's right here!"

Ty Lee looked at them. "All I see is the blood on the walls…"

Wendy cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about-"

The Mother swung the knife, hitting Ty Lee on the arm. She shrieked.

"Put er on me!" The orange pony yelled. "We gotta move it!"

Wendy threw the terrified Ty Lee on the westerner's back, and they took off, throwing the next door open. The mist began to cloud their vision, but they didn't care. They could still see.

"So." Wendy said in between breaths. "What are you?"

"I reckon I'm a pony. Name's Applejack."

"Huh. How'd you end up here?"

"Doesn't particularly matter does it? I always end up in places far from the apple tree…"

Wendy sighed. She was going to get tired of this western-country pony really fast, she could tell. She'd had lots of people mock her with that voice… "I reckon yer a country hick aren't ya? Gosh darnit all! My wagon's broken! Can yer fix it?"

After a while, the mist cleared.

"I reckon we're safe…" Applejack said. "So what're your stories?"

Wendy introduced herself and Ty Lee. Ty Lee just sat atop Applejack, shuddering. "She was… molded in her image…"

Applejack shot Wendy a confused glance. Wendy twirled her finger around her ear in the universeal 'yeah she's nuts' gesture.

And with that, the group moved on.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Spooky smiled. It was time to give the visitors a visit. She floated through wall after wall, room after moving room. She arrived in a large room that had no doors, only a big monitor with a keyboard attached to it. On the screen were the words LION-DOS. She navigated the red menu to MODIFY_HOUSE_LAYOUT. Time to direct them to a particular room.

She smiled. They were doing really well so far. Though she would have to delay the two who had found the Express Tunnel. But that would be easy enough.

She grabbed her giant Bowie knife. There might be some use for it. Who knew?

She decided to visit the agents first. "Oh Hi!" She said, pretending like she hadn't been looking for them. She hid the knife behind her back. "What's up?"

Mulder stepped forth to let out a rant, but Ford beat him to it. "One of the Spiritual Planes, I demand that you release us!"

The six-fingered one was smart, he had knowledge of the Spiritual Planes. "Why? The game is just beginning!" She smiled, abhorring herself for playing the 'cute' card. "You're 25% done, give or take a few rooms." She gave a wink.

"You are trying to kill us."

Spooky shrugged. "So? If you win you live. If you don't, you don't." She lied. "You DID trespass."

"There was no sign to tell us we couldn't." Ford glared.

Spooky shrugged. "Oh well. Be grumpy. I've got other visitors to talk to. Exit to your left." She flew into a wall just as Mulder began to retort.

She chuckled to herself. They would be fun later on. But first, a visit to the girls…

"Hi!" She said.

Wendy blinked. "Have I seen you somewhere before?"

"I was at the entrance." She put on a sad face. "You ran right past me…" She quickly smiled again. "But, I have great news visitors! You have passed through two-hundred and fifty rooms! You get a gift!" She waved her hands, a present appearing under a giant painting of herself with a grumpy look. "See ya!" She quickly left before they had a chance to say anything.

She heard Ty Lee's screams less than a minute later. She cackled.

Spooky decided to leave the express people for now, she'd talk to them later. She had a special guest to visit.

"So, my dear Doctor, how's it going?"

"You are a sadistic little girl you know that?" The man responded in his british accent, his brown coat furling as he walked briskly through the house. "You could just get this over with and kill me at any time."

Spooky shrugged, twirling her knife, cutting a flower pattern in the walls. They spurted blood wherever the knife touched. "I have my reasons."

The Doctor grunted. "I have nothing to say to you. I will make it through your maze of tricks and mirrors."

Spooky's cute face turned into a malevolent grin. "Good luck, doc." She left, returning to the LION-DOS. She set the house back to normal. This would be great.

Wait. What was this?

There was a tenth visitor?

Hrm…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _A few minutes ago..._

Applejack poked the present with a stick. It didn't move. "I think it's safe…"

Ty Lee stood up, stretching. "I'll open it. Maybe it'll be something to destroy those stupid cutouts with…."

"You sure you're okay?" Wendy asked.

"I'm FIIIIIINE…" Ty Lee said. "I just saw a girl get brutally murdered and watched the house turn to blood. That's not that bad right?"

"It sounds pretty bad…"

Ty Lee glared. Then she kicked the top off the present, revealing an empty box.

"Aw…" Ty Lee said, crestfallen. Then she realized there were words written in the box.

"Look behind you."

The three of them slowly turned around, to have dozens of the cutouts shoot out of the walls and stare at them.

Ty Lee screamed and fainted. Wendy and Applejack just got creeped out.

"I reckon we got ourselves a joker here…"

Wendy groaned. That voice. That VOICE… She shook her head, grabbed Ty Lee, and dropped her on Applejack. "Let's just get moving."

Applejack nodded, trotting after her.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder threw open the next door, revealing a room lined with tribal masks and what could only be described as 'easter eggs.' Three large panels with giant eye images engraved on them were on the various sides of the room.

Ford recorded information on his jPad, typing in a flurry with his six fingers. "Interesting… this appears to be a special room of some sort… I wonder what it's purpose is…"

Lightning's face obtained a look of mock thoughtfulness. "Perhaps… It's too creep us out?"

Mulder clapped his hands. "Amazing deduction, Sherlock."

Ford stepped into the middle of the room, and he found that he could see through the eye panels. There were doors behind them.

"This way." He said, marching.

Mulder shrugged. The guy seemed to know what he was doing.

It was almost as if he was more supernatural savvy than he was…

They opened a door to find a laptop sitting on the ground. On it was a note: "OPEN AND WATCH."

Ford scratched his chin, and lifted up the screen. A video began to play, featuring the face of a certain "british" man.

Mulder blinked. "Doctor?"

"Okay how should I start this…" The Doctor began to say. "Got it! I'm a time traveler. Or I was. Blast why am I starting this the same way as last time? Last time I had a transcript… Perhaps it'll work out…"

Ford squinted. This was not what he'd been expecting.

"Blimey I'm running out of memory space on this… Listen. I've got to leave this as a warning, there is no way in bloody hell that anyone would be able to figure this out without being ridiculously lucky, having encountered weeping angels, or having played lots of B rated horror games." The Doctor paused. "I've just insulted half the internet. Brilliant. Anyway, that thing in front of you-"

Ford, Mulder, and Lightning looked in front of them. There was nothing there.

"-if it's not in front of you then you have a serious problem and you better pray it shows up soon. That thing, is quantum locked. As long as you look at it, it won't move. Listen. Your life could depend on this - whoever you are. Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. It is fast, faster than you could believe. And given the timey wimey wibbley wobbly nature of this mansion, it could get behind you, in front of you, anywhere. It could be inside a wall for pete's sake."

The three visitors glanced around at all directions. They saw nothing.

"Why on earth did I say pete's sake… What purpose did that serve?" Something in the video beeped. "Great, just a few more seconds. Don't blink. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink, seriously, don't. Good luck." In the video the Doctor looked over his screen. "Why hello there. Yes I see you there. Nice face you have. I best be off now… Allons-y!" The Doctor left the screen, it now simply showing the wall of the room. A face flashed across the screen, blank eyes and a flat face contorted in extreme anger. Then the video repeated. "Okay how should I start this…"

"Does anyone see anything?" Lightning murmured, glancing left and right.

Ford shook his head, tapping the sides of his glasses. "None of my scans are turning up anything either."

"Perhaps it isn't here." Mulder suggested. "Maybe we should just leave-"

Lightning saw something poking out of the wall. She drew her gun. "There."

They turned, and saw it. A hand, frozen in time, sticking out of a wall.

"We need to draw it out into the open." Ford said. "Everyone blink at the same time."  
"...Don't blink!..." The recording warned.

Mulder and Lightning turned to Ford. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes." Ford blinked. Lightning and Mulder were looking at Ford and NOT the hand.

Ford opened his eyes to the sound of Lightning screaming. What appeared to be a giant human sized puppet had driven a spike right into her right eye. Blood dripped from her face right onto the puppet's wooden, frozen, arm. Its face was twisted in anger, frustrated that it couldn't finish it's job.

Carefully, Ford and Mulder pulled a whimpering Lightning away from the puppet. She screamed in agony as the spike slid out of her eye. She stumbled, her face leaking, barely able to stay upright. She leaned on Ford.

"Open the door Mulder."

"Wha-"

"Do it." Ford drew one of his guns. "Now look at it. I need to blink."

Mulder did so, and the three slowly backed out of the room. The puppet stared at them, that same face of hatred. Ford shut the door, letting out a breath. "You okay Monica?"

Lightning nodded. She stood up, putting her hand to her chest and drawing out a pulse of magic. "Cure" she said, healing the wound. She took her other hand off her eye. There was nothing but a hole there.

Mulder reeled. That was disgusting.

Ford stared. "You… just cast magic. My people can't cast magic-"

"I'm not from Earth." She muttered, obviously not in the mood. "My name isn't Monica either."

Mulder facepalmed. "Lightning! We can't REVEAL that to just ANYONE."

Ford held up a six-fingered hand. "It's fine. I can understand the need to protect oneself. Governments are not always the most understanding…"

Mulder squinted. "How would you know about that, back then there wasn't-" Then he saw it. The puppet. Just a few feet away from them. Mulder slowly lifted his hand and pointed.

Ford frowned. "Just get to the door."

Lightning nodded, stumbling towards the door. "Careful!" Ford cautioned. "You have no depth perception!"

"Brilliant observation einstein."

Mulder backed towards the door, blinking one eye at a time. It seemed to be working. They slowly backed through room after room, carefully looking in all directions for the puppet. At times it would appear in front of them, or behind them, but their collective fields of view always made sure that it couldn't reach them.

Every time they saw its face, it kept getting progressively more and more angry. The rage started to crumple the puppet's face into a deep nightmarish scowl.

Then, it just seemed to stop chasing them.

After seeing no sign of it for twenty rooms, they took a break.

By sheer luck, they decided to take the break in the room with the brain hooked up to some machine. It was pulsing, indicating it was alive. It bobbed up and down in the liquid.

Lightning poked her finger into her skull through the now empty eye socket. "This… is bizarre…" She shuddered. "It's hurting, even though there's nothing there…"

"Phantom pain." Ford muttered. "It may be there for the rest of your life."

Lightning turned to Mulder, which caused him to wince. "Could you do something about that?" He muttered, gesturing at the hole in her face.

Lightning rolled her eye. "I don't have an eyepatch."

Ford lit up. "I have something…" He reached into one of his many pockets, pulling out an odd triangular-shaped black device. "This… well I don't really know what this is. I found it ages ago in some old forgotten ruins. But it looks like the perfect shape to cover that eye…" He took out a black strap from another pocket, and tied the thing to her face.

It fit perfectly.

"Wow I didn't expect it to fit that perfectly…"

Lightning touched her hand to the black thing on her face. It felt like it belonged there. Strange.

Mulder let out a sigh of relief. "Now, borrowing a line from our dear Doctor, allons-y!" He leapt through the next door.

Lightning followed, managing to bang her head on a wall.

It was going to take some getting used to, this lack of depth perception.

Ford grabbed her. "Come on." He was obviously slightly ticked off to have a crippled companion.

His ticked off-ness ticked her off. She was also ticked off that it was his stupid idea that had gotten her eye stabbed out in the first place.

"Watch it buster, I've got magic. I can fry you."

"I've got a dozen anti-magic amulets on me. I wouldn't recommend it." He typed more on his jPad. "Plus, we really shouldn't be fighting. I have a feeling we're going to need each other."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"No." The Doctor yelled.

"Your life must be shown to you, but beware what is that true." The Cat said.

"That is not me. He will never be one of me."

"Your race has a unique problem, but you must face it or be doomed to fail."

"I will not accept him! I never will!"

"Then you will fail." The Cat walked off.

"Come back!"

"Your only hope is the others."

The Doctor roared, clutching his head.

 _My mind… I have the most impressive will of any creature. I shouldn't be affected…_

 _ **I do not feed on the weak of mind… I feed on those who have suffered...**_

The Doctor yelled out, desperately hoping for help.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The two groups of three met by crashing into each other.

"Great potato salad!" Applejack yelled as she attempted to skid to a halt, but instead managed to trip over Lightning and roll into Mulder, slamming him into Ford.

Ty Lee clapped her hands. "Ten out of ten!"

Wendy rolled her eyes.

"I take it you are the other visitors?" Ford asked.

"No, we're the random brigade of country farmers. What's it look like we are varmit?" Applejack grumped.

Then she realized who she was talking to. "YOU."

Ford stood up to his full height. "YOU."

"I should kick you down right here and now!"

Ford drew his gun. "Try it, Equestrian!"

Applejack squinted her eyes. "Bring it!" She glared, her entire body shimmering in light. Red and pink streaks appeared in her mane, which progressively became more impressive. With an obviously increased strength, she prepared to buck Ford, while he charged his gun.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD IT!" Ty Lee yelled, leaping in between the two of them. "WHATEVER your two's problem IS, we can deal with it LATER the CUTOUTS ARE HERE! WE must be STRONG!"

Wendy facepalmed. "Cutouts? Really? That's your speech?"

"They are a crime against humanity!"

Applejack cut down the lightshow, returning to normal. "Them cardboard cutouts ain't more than a lil' annoyin, that's all."

Ford nodded in agreement.

"You agreein with me?"

"Yes. So what?"

The two glared at each other, the hatred of old enemies burning.

Lightning blinked. What the heck were they so worked up about? What could a cute little horse possibly have done?

Applejack turned around. "Best be goin. Ty Lee, be a dear and handle introductions for me will ya?"

Ty Lee squealed. "Okay!" She then proceeded to excitedly introduce everyone to each other in her little insane and peppy way. Everyone questioned her mental health.

Wendy took that moment to realize that she was talking to the two agents who were chasing her. She almost didn't recognize them, they were so beat up.

"Um… hi."

Mulder glared. "You could be arrested for resisting an agent of the law."

"Cool…" Wendy said, feeling on the inside like this was anything but cool.

"Now, I just wanted to ask you a few questions."

Wendy cracked. "I vandalized the base alright? Can we stop talking about this now? Please?"

Mulder blinked. "What vandalism?"

Wendy clamped her mouth shut. "I didn't say vandalism, man. I said… ventriliquism?"

Mulder sighed. "I came here to talk to you. Have you noticed anything strange going on around this town?"

Wendy gave him a look. She gestured at the house they were in. "What do _you_ think, dude? Yeah I noticed something was off. Not really till today of course."

Mulder shook his head. "I take it you don't know that there appears to be a copy of you in Colorado?"

"What the heck are you talking about?"

Mulder sighed. So this trip had basically been a waste of time. At least this house provided some purpose to the visit. Assuming it didn't kill them.

The very next room they entered was a strange room with black and white checkerboard tile floors and black brick walls. They could hear the ticking of a clock.

TICK… TOCK…. TICK… TOCK…

There was a line in the ground, labeled "threshold of consciousness."

"You cross it first." Ford told Applejack.

"Why don't ya do it, _hon."_ Applejack glared.

"Listen to me _pony,_ you are a different anima-"

"-now I reckon that-"

"-provide me-"

"-forget it you-"

"*** *** ****** ****"

"-how dare you-"

"OR FOR THE LOVE OF ODIN!" Lightning yelled, before kicking the five in front of her across the threshold at the same time.

She watched with her one eye as they all vanished.

Lightning shrugged, walking over the line herself.

She found Applejack, Mulder, and Ford looking around.

And then they saw _The Cat_ , a tiny little white feline staring at them from the base of a sleek grandfather clock. "Why hello there, are you lost little ones?"

Lightning shrugged. "Um… yes. We want out of the house."

The cat turned its head. "This place can help those who are ready, but expect turmoil more than you are used to."

Okay. Ominous…

Mulder looked around. "Where ARE Ty Lee and Wendy?"

"Their minds were deemed too pure. They were sent through without incident." The Cat offered. "You must hurry, a friend of yours needs saving." The Cat pointed its nose to the left and right hallways. "Explore, and discover yourselves. Your friend did not believe he needed preparation."

Applejack and Lightning nodded, turning right. Ford and Mulder shook their heads.

"We can't be sure we can trust this cat." Mulder said.

Ford nodded. "Agreed."

The Cat frowned. "It is your choice, but you will regret it. Nothing in the rooms will bring you physical harm."

Ford raised his hand. "AHA! _Physical_ harm! I've been down this path before, mental harm is the worst kind."

The Cat shook her head. "I am sorry if you believe that."

"FORD! MULDER!" Lightning yelled from the hallway. "JUST GET OVER HERE!" A one eyed woman with an eyepatch and a streak of blood across her face had a way of being convincing. The two men ran right over.

Applejack chuckled before creaking the door open with her hoof. Ford gave her a gesture using both of his middle fingers.

The room was pastel colored: half pink, half yellow. Inside the room was The Cat, and a compass. In turn, the compass turned to each of the visitors. When it looked at Applejack and Mulder, nothing happened. When it turned to Ford, it displayed a symbol of a six-fingered hand.

When it pointed at Lightning, the compass shuddered. It then tried to display a giant picture with a spring in the center, seven circles around it, and five rings of symbols around that.

 _I've seen that before…_ Lightning thought.

The image of the Wheel shattered completely, shards falling to the ground and vanishing. The compass ceased working. Several weird red grubs began to crawl along the floor, coming from seemingly nowhere.

The Cat spoke. "Two sides of the same coin. Knowing your projections can help you achieve freedom."

Mulder put his hands on his hips. "That didn't help at all…"

Ford and Lightning exchanged glances. "Actually…"

"Let's just get along." Applejack said. "There are other rooms in the other hallway."

They walked past the clock. Somehow, The Cat was still sitting in front of it, despite having been in the other room literally less than a second ago.

"Nothing's wrong is there?" She asked.

Lightning eyed The Cat. "No…"

"Then continue on your way…"

The next room had the four standing on nothingness, looking out upon the universe. Thier jaws dropped as they saw the majesty of the universe. They watched with their tiny eyes and minds as entire galaxies formed, lived, and died. They observed as the universe changed its shape from that of a formless soup to a grand design bigger than any of them would ever know. It made them feel very small.

The Cat appeared in front of them. "Balance is the key to keeping your mind free and sane."

Then they were back in the hallway. None of them said a word, they had been stricken by the beauty of the stars.

Then they entered the last room, and everything was different.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ford looked around. He was in his shack he had constructed. There was the skeleton, the dinosaur skull, and the tesla box. There were drawings everywhere, sketches of the weird and abnormal, diagrams of his various inventions. .

But one thing was wrong.

Everything that had a face was staring directly at him. The taxidermy. The skull. The skeleton. Even the box, which may or may not even have had an actual face!

He turned around, to see his original three journals flipping through pages on their own, each to a very particular page. A technical design, using a circle in a triangle attached to four other circles. The pages combined, and the journals swallowed themselves up in a black hole.

They swallowed up all of reality, destroying everything.

He stared, speechless.

The Cat appeared behind him. "You must learn to not let your fears haunt you, or you will bring about that which you fear most."

Ford shuddered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Fox…" Samantha said. "Come on silly!"

Mulder woke up. Where was he?

He was back in his childhood home. Except there was a graveyard in it.

"Um… what?"

"I was called here to talk to you…" She said, adjusting the house. "Yes I'm still a ghost."

"Who called you?"

"You know her." She dusted a lamp sitting atop a tombstone. "You must be strong, Fox, the thing you are about to encounter will play whatever weakness it can find. And you have many…"

"That's not really fair-"

"It isn't. That's the point." She turned. "You have faced many supernatural creatures in your time, creatures of the night that play on fear, weakness, and death." She sighed. "Fox… be careful. Do not think you know how to deal with these things because of your so-called experience."

Then she vanished, the world going white.

Mulder heard the voice of The Cat. "Don't kid yourself, to it you are nothing more than entertaining livestock."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Applejack found herself back in Equestria.

This wasn't unusual for her, just uncommon. She rarely found herself back home lately.

She looked up, and her eyes widened.

Cloudsdale.

It was still in the sky. That couldn't be possible.

It was at that point she realized it was just a vision.

She could see the city begin to fall. The rainbow explosions rippling across the graceful cloud city.

"Not again…" She moaned. She watched in horror as the four princesses flew towards the city, attempting to use their magic to keep it together.

She watched as Discord appeared, pulling his own weight for once in his life, his snake-like form appearing beneath the city as he created a giant cupcake to catch the city.

They tried to contain it. But couldn't. Cloudsdale exploded in a brilliant display of rainbow light, showering down meteor-like fragments to the world below.

The fallout was terrible and instant. The world started to spin out of control, colors changing and vibrating, craters appearing left and right.

Eventually, everything settled.

The Cat appeared behind her. "Your trauma is almost as extreme as your lost friend's. Yet you have given forgiveness."

"I forgave her a long time ago. That hasn't changed."

"Your resolve will be tested most of all. Yet you must pull beyond even that, for you must be the one to help him."

Applejack sighed. "I reckon I don't have muchuva choice now do I?"

The Cat shook her head. "Not really."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning found herself at home. _Before_ the fall of Cocoon. She looked in the closet.

There were her clothes and her Blazefire Sabre.

She made the choice quickly.

She was tired of being Monica. It was time to change back.

She washed the dye out of her hair, scrubbing it out with intensity. She changed out of the uncomfortable FBI outfit and into her normal trenchcoat-skirt clothing. She attached her leg pouch, and readied her Blazefire Sabre. She looked into the mirror.

She still had the eyepatch. She touched it with her hands, a feeling of sadness creeping into her.

"Hi sis!"

Lightning turned around to see her younger sibling, Serah. "Serah?"

"You look wonderful!" She said, completely ignoring the eyepatch. "Come on, we're going to be late for the celebration!"

Lightning nodded dumbly. "I'll… be there in a minute…"

Serah ran up to Lightning and gave her a big hug. "Okay! See you!" She skipped off.

Lightning blinked, holding her hand to her chest. This wasn't real.

The Cat materialized in front of her. "The mask you wear serves its purpose well, but be careful not to lose yourself in it."

Then The Cat stared even deeper into Lightning.

"Your burden is not here. But it is far larger than any other's."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The four of them appeared back in front of the clock.

Mulder looked at Lightning. She looked… like she did when he found her. Except for the eyepatch, of course. "Why are you-"

"I'm not Monica anymore." Lightning said, turning away from Mulder. "I am Lightning."

Ford was staring at her with an expression of surprise. "No… you are Claire..."

Lightning let out an amused smirk. "Finally figure that out did you old man? Kudos to you. Now let's move."

Mulder and Applejack exchanged glances. "Are we missing something?" Mulder asked.

"Yes." Lightning said. "And it's none of your business."

The Cat nodded to them. "You must go. Through that door your trial awaits."

The group walked down the forward hallway, facing a bloody door.

Ford reached and pulled it open.

Through it was a hallway composed entirely of muscle. Living, pulsing, muscle.

Mulder realized they were being sucked in different directions, into the muscle.

"Everyone grab ahold of each other!"

Lightning grabbed ahold of Applejack, Ford grabbing ahold of Mulder. Mulder and Lighting attempted to grab ahold of each other's hands, but they were sucked into the walls far too quickly.

A horrid laughed filled their brains.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder and Ford were standing on nothing. Complete blackness.

 _ **THIS IS THE FUTURE… THE FATE YOU WILL BRING ABOUT.**_

Ford whirled around. "Who's there? Show yourselves!"

 _ **DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN MADNESS? SURELY AFTER THIRTY YEARS OF CONSTANT COMPANIONSHIP YOU COULD AT LEAST RECOGNIZE MY VOICE!**_

"No! I am not insane! I won't be fooled by the likes of you!"

 _ **FINE. BUT YOU WILL BRING ABOUT THE END. YOU ALREADY HAVE. AND YOU CAN DO NOTHING TO STOP IT.**_

Ford glared at the empty space. "I will not let my past control me!"

 _ **YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.**_

Ford didn't have a response to this.

Mulder jumped in. "You can't get both of us."

 _ **BOTH OF YOU HAVE THE SAME WEAKNESS. YOU BOTH FEAR THE END. YOU BOTH FEAR THAT YOU CAN DO NOTHING.**_

Mulder stared onward. "I used to think I could do nothing. I used to believe it was all pointless. But there is hope now, just as there always was! I have allies in my fight! Friends! Even people who are enemies will fight against the end! We will be strong!"

The voice roared. _**YOU WILL NOT STOP IT, YOU WILL BRING IT ABOUT!**_

Ford regained his strength. "You are nothing more than a demon of the mind! I have faced one much, much stronger than you! Your kind lies! Nothing but lies!"

It screamed. _**YOU WILL NOT STAND AGAINST ME-**_

 _NO, THEY WON'T, BUT I WILL!_

A triangle-shaped hole ripped through the fabric of reality, opening a portal to a realm of stars. The edges lit on fire, and a single eye opened. " _HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"_ The triangle solidified, turned yellow, and gained a top hat and bow tie. " _You need to take some dream demon lessons my friend! Take it from me, Sixer here is NOT easy to mess with. Trust me, I barely succeeded, and I'm much stronger than you. Now be a good boy, heed your warning and go back into the astral doghouse you sleep in."_

 _ **WHY DO YOU HELP THEM?**_

" _I have my reasons. My plans. The six-fingered moron happens to be very important, and I can't just have you mess with him."_

A red wall rose in front of the triangle man, made up of bones and organs of all sorts of living things.

 _ **I AM THE WALL OF TRAUMA, THE FORCE OF FEAR, THE OBSTACLE OF FAULT, THE-**_

" _Yada yada yada, you are all powerful. You are pretty strong, I give you that, but sorry buttercup."_ He snapped his fingers, and the Wall vanished. " _I'm on a whole other level."_ They were back in the clock room. " _In all fairness, you might have overcome him Sixer. Maybe. But I couldn't take the chance."_ He turned to Mulder. " _Your mind is mine, watch out for smoothies, the hamburgers lie, pomegranates! BYE!"_ Then he vanished.

There was no cat. There was no threshold of consciousness. The door wasn't covered in blood.

Ford and Mulder exchanged a blank look, then continued on in silence. Into yet another room.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning was riding Applejack through a maze of corridors, running from something they couldn't see. The walls were black, the fog red, and various disturbing symbols lined the constantly changing walls.

"What are we running from?" Applejack asked.

Lightning stole a glance behind her. There was nothing but red fog. "I have no idea!"

Applejack skidded to a halt. "Then why are we stil running?"

Lightning stopped running, considering this.

An image appeared in front of them. A being that looked like a big clock with a face in the center. It was composed entirely of blood and bones.

"Orphan." Lightning said with distaste.

 _ **I AM ORPHAN, BACK FROM THE GRAVE. MY DEATH WAS ONLY THE FIRST PART OF THE PLAN. YOU WILL BOW TO YOUR DESTINY, AND GOD WILL RETURN!**_

"We defied your plan." Lightning took aim with her sabre. "And my destiny will never be run by someone else EVER AGAIN!"

Lightning's eyepatch flashed an amethyst color, and the bullet from the sabre cut right through the Orphan Conglomeration.

 _ **WHAT?**_ The voice said in surprise.

Lightning smirked. "That was easy."

Then a pony composed of the signature blood and bones appeared in front of them.

Applejack gasped. "Rainbow Dash?"

"Rainbow Dash" walked right past them, an evil look on her face. Beside Applejack appeared a strange conglomeration, the head of a pony (or horse), two unusual horns, limbs and tail of completely random animals, and an overall snakelike body (although it had bloody fur.)

 _ **OHO! LOOK AT THE ONE WHO RUINED EVERYTHING!**_

"Shut up Discord. You know where I stand."

 _ **OH I DO, I DO, BUT I SIMPLY MUST POINT OUT SOMETHING…**_ In a flash of light, the "Discord" appeared over "Rainbow Dash" _**YOU SEE THIS PEGASUS? HERE SHE IS, SIGNING THE DOCUMENT THAT SEALED YOUR FRIEND'S FATE!**_ His face became livid. **MY** _**FRIEND'S FATE.**_ Then he appeared over "Rainbow Dash" as she filed the bloody piece of paper into a file cabinet that just appeared. _**BUT WHO AM I TO JUDGE. SHE HAD REMORSE AFTERWARD, SHE TRIED TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NO WAY SHE COULD.**_

"You shut yer trap! She tried her best!"

 _ **WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING A MASS MURDERER? BY YOUR OWN LAWS-**_

"Shut it Discord! I don't care one bit! I forgave her back then and I forgive her now!"

 _ **BUT WE DON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR FORGIVING HER.**_ Behind "Discord" appeared other ponies, all people Applejack knew.

 _ **WE HATE YOU APPLEJACK!**_

Lightning stood up, slicing her blade at the ponies. "Don't listen to them!"

"But.. It's true!" Applejack said, obviously stricken. "They DO hate me!"

Lightning's face faltered. She had no idea what the circumstances were. She barely knew anything about this orange apple horse.

"Let them hate you."

Applejack looked up, tears in her eyes. "What?"

"Let them." Lightning sheathed her sword. "If you did what was right, if you did what you believe to be true, then SCREW everyone else!"

 _ **YOU ARE AN ANNOYANCE TO ME.**_ "Discord" walked up to Lightning. _**YOU HAVE SOME STRANGE IDEA IN YOUR BRAIN THAT YOUR ACTIONS AREN'T PREDETERMINED. NEWS FLASH. YOU ARE IN MY WORLD. I CONTROL EVERYTHING. YOUR DESTINY IS MINE.**_

Lightning stared "Discord" right in his bloody face. "Nope." Her eyepatch flashed amethyst, and she cut right through him.

"Discord" screamed in agony. _**NEVER HAS ANYONE BEEN THIS… RESISTANT TO ME! HOW? HOW?**_

Lightning stood, impassive. "I make my own destiny. NEVER try to tell me otherwise." The "Discord" collapsed into a puddle in front of her, only to reform behind Applejack.

 _ **DON'T LISTEN TO HER, YOU ONLY MET HER! YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE FORGIVEN HER! LOOK AT THE PAIN SHE CAUSED!**_

Applejack glared. "You of all people should understand reformation Discord. Now I know this isn't really you, but if I don't forgive her, I should kick you out as well!"

 _ **I NEVER KILLED ANYONE! AND PLUS, THAT DOESN'T MATTER. THE OTHERS STILL TAKE MY SIDE-**_

"I don't think they do." She transformed into her rainbow form. "And as for you, Lightning's right, I did the right thing. No matter what anybody thinks, I will stand strong."

And she bucked "Discord" into oblivion. With the power of rainbows.

Applejack returned to normal and smiled at "Rainbow Dash" sadly. "I should never focus on how this affects me. Your life is much worse."

"Rainbow Dash" vanished.

"Come on. We gotta move. We need to find that friend The Cat told us about."

Lightning sighed. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I think I'll be more than okay." Applejack looked ahead in the distance. "We've got one more thing to do."

They found the Doctor, cowering in fear from a bloody conglomeration who was raising a knife over him. _**YOU. ARE. A. MONSTER.**_

The Doctor cowered. "I am…"

Applejack bucked the conglomeration away. "Well Doc, I sure didn't expect it to be you. I may not be qualified, but I'm here to help."

The Doctor looked up sadly. "Why would I deserve help? My world burned. My galaxy ruined. And not only could I not do anything, I actually helped CAUSE it."

"So what? You've done so much more for the good of the universes!"

The Doctor looked up. "Are you insane? Blast it all! I could have caused the destruction of everything in reality!"

"But you didn't. You TRIED to help. Isn't that all that matters, in the end?"

The Doctor stared. "No… I must do more-"

"Son, you have already done lots. I know. I'm sorta new in the dimensional traveling business, compared to you anyway, and I hear grand tales of your heroism everywhere. Your dedication to life and beauty everywhere in the universe. You are _the_ hero of the Universes. People are capable of forgiveness. And I can say, right now, that even if I knew the details of what it is that you did, I would still forgive you."

"How can you say that?"  
Applejack turned to Lightning, smiling. "Because I've forgiven someone before. And I don't care what anyone else will think."

The Doctor stopped for a moment to think. Then he stood it.

"Good golly you're right! What the heck am I doing sitting here like a baby? I am the DOCTOR! I heal the multiverse! I do not stand idly while things are destroyed!"

He stood up to his full height. "DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM THE DOCTOR!"

And with that, the three of them were back in the room with the clock.

TICK. TOCK. TICK. TOCK.

TICK. TOCK. TICK. TOCK.

TICK. TOCK. TICK. TICK.

Lightning, Applejack, and the Doctor all burst out laughing.

Behind them, a certain one eyed triangle watched.

That had been very interesting.

Very interesting indeed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _ERROR 002313FB_GEL_

 _CANNOT RELEASE TWICE._

 _EXIT THROUGH EXPRESS._

Ba'al started at the piece of paper in his hand. He absolutely abhorred being toyed with. "This is outright insulting."

"I think that's the idea, Ba'al." He managed to say "Ba'al" with such a forceful breath that it grated against Ba'al's ears like a sandstone brick.

Ba'al threw his hand wide. "Look at this. We've been through dozens of rooms and nothing's happened aside from the occasional cardboard cutout!" He waved the cardboard skeleton in the air. "We've got to do something else…"

Sisko had an idea. "How about… we sit here and refuse to play the game?"

Ba'al stroked his beard. That wasn't that bad of a plan.

He sat down. "Good. We shall sit here."

The two men sat in silence for almost an hour.

"Shall we continue our earlier conversation?" Ba'al asked.

"What?"

"The wormhole to the Milky Way."

"Oh." Sisko said, realizing what Ba'al was doing. "I see… what was it?"

"I offered to tell you its location, in exchange for something."

"And what was that thing you wanted?"

Ba'al smiled. "I simply want to be allowed free reign to travel to Terra as I wish, freedom to go to and from the world as I please."

Sisko squinted. "You're playing at something."

"Of course I am. But I have something you want, and there's nothing harmful to you if I am allowed on Terra."

Sisko nodded. "I guess I could do something about that. IF we get back."

"You're a good man."

Sisko rolled his eyes at this. Right. A good man. Ba'al was a master manipulator, and he knew that Sisko knew that, making for a very dangerous game.

The two of them suddenly heard a noise like the raspy winds in an old forest.

The entrance door creaked open, revealing a floating red skull attached to what appeared to be a small part of the shoulders. It turned towards them, floating over, its mouth outstretched. It appeared to be made of clay. Blood-red clay.

Sisko and Ba'al took that as a sign: Get the freak out.

As soon as they entered the express tunnel, it stopped following them.

Sisko punched the wall. So the house had a way to make sure you kept moving. "Looks like we don't have a choice…"

Ba'al growled. "If I ever get my hands on that ghost girl…"

"Hi!"

Ba'al jumped at Spooky's sudden appearance. "You! YOU DARE IMPRISON LORD BA'AL?"

"You walked in the door."

Ba'al glared.

Spooky twirled her knife. "Anyway, just came in to see how you were doing."

"This is nothing more than a joke." Sisko said, visibly angry. "You're no better than Q!"

"Now now, Benjy, I don't want to be compared to the likes of her…" In a flash, Q was standing in front of them. As usual, the all-powerful energy being had an aloof expression on his face, as if vaguely amused by reality. He wore an outfit that suggested he had just been in Hawaii.

"I've just come from Bermuda. Wonderful place in this time. A tad slow with service…" Q made the getup vanish, getting into his regular starfleet uniform, nearly identical to that of Sisko. "So, Benjy and Balls, how are you enjoying your stay?"

Ba'al was bout to make an indignant remark about the name _Balls_ when Spooky interrupted. "They're enjoying it just fine. And if you don't leave-"

"You'll do what? Poke me with your Bowie knife of extra blood? OHO! Don't make me laugh little spirit, I could make your entire house fold up into a pin. I could burn half of it down with a thought…"

Spooky glared. "What's half of infinity Q?"

"What?"

"INF***INGFINITY."

Q glared. "I could just as easily burn the entire house. Infinities, schminities. My dear Spoopy-"

"SPOOPY?" Sisko and Ba'al saw, in that moment, true evil behind that cute face. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME SPOOP-"

"Go back to your LION-DOS little girl, I'm not here to squabble with you." With a flash, Spooky was gone. "Now Benjy, let's talk."

"How about you just take us back to Terra?"

"Goodness me that wouldn't be very considerate now would it? Not very sporting of Spoopy's generous hospitality."

Sisko tried his best to keep his anger under control. "NOW YOU LISTEN HERE Q, I DON'T WANT TO SAY THIS TWI-"

"Wow Benjy, what a failure to control that temper of yours. In fact, just because of that I'm not going to give you the help I was planning on. I'll just be here to do my more important business. Toodeloo!"

He vanished.

Ba'al blinked. "Toodeloo?"

"Don't ask." Sisko said through his hands.

Ba'al shrugged. He was not having a good time. And now there were these godlike beings who were on a completely different level than him. Maybe one day he would find that power.

He smiled. He knew the power existed, so there must be a way to obtain it…

Spooky returned. "As I was SAYING before I was so rudely interrupted by mister de _suck_ , the way forward has been fixed up for you. Just ignore the out of order door, it doesn't go anywhere. Toodeloo!"

Ba'al blinked. "Toodeloo? Does this mean something in the language of humans?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself…" Sisko muttered. He then proceeded to walk right up to the OUT OF ORDER door and kick it in. Ba'al glanced around. Nobody was there, except a painting of Spooky in knight's armor looking very important and sure of herself.

 _Somebody has an ego,_ Ba'al thought.

Inside the OUT OF ORDER room was an interesting sight. There was a large device mounted on a wall. It was triangle shaped, and had a circle nested inside it with sixteen symbols around the edge. Sisko thought some of them vaguely looked like astronomical symbols. On the ceiling and floor around the triangle were four discs. Aside from the strange device, there were lots of consoles and readout screens.

Sisko and Ba'al had no clue what any of it meant. They just continued on through a door behind the device.

A few rooms later, they ended up…

...outside. In what appeared to be a forest. There were lots of really tall trees, grass, and even a rabbit. The vegetation, however, was more yellowish than green.

They looked behind them. They appeared to have just come out of an outhouse.

Ba'al decided to start walking first. "I can't see the sun… Just some light coming from above the trees…"

Sisko nodded. The forest did seem kind of neat and tidy, not particularly natural. It was also deathly quiet, nearly always a bad sign.

After a while of aimless walking, they came to a shed. Inside were some basic living supplies, firewood, and a pair of axes. They picked them up. There was no telling when they might need axes instead of their energy weapons.

"I think I saw some deer outside." Ba'al observed. "Perhaps we could hunt? We will need food."

Sisko nodded. "That seems good."

The two went out into the forest, looking for prey. They soon found their target: a cute deer, sitting in the open, grazing on the grass.

Sisko felt remorse for having to kill the creature. Ba'al did not.

"AIEEEEE!" He yelled, brandishing the axe.

"YOU COULD JUST USE YOUR WEAP-" Sisko never got to finish the sentence.

The deer turned to Ba'al and opened its mouth wide, revealing razor sharp teeth. As Ba'al embedded the axe into its neck, it bit deep into Ba'al's arm. Ba'al yelled in pain as the deer slumped to the ground, lifeless.

Sisko ran up. "Are you alri-"

"I'm FINE D*****. Just grab it and get back to the shed. That is DEFINITELY NOT A DEER."

Sisko nodded. They dragged the deer back to the shed, and Ba'al found some cloth in a dresser to wrap around his arm.

After a few minutes, the two men looked at each other.

"We have to get out of here."

They grabbed the axes and ran out into the forest. They made a break for it, running as fast as their legs would carry them.

Something stopped them. In front of them was a creature of the darkness, a Beast. It's head seemed to be a combination of wood and bone, formed into the shape of a deer skull with many angled antlers and deep, piercing, white eyes. It wore a dark cloak, covering it's presumably humanoid body. It reached out with a wood-bone hand. "Join us." The Beast said. As he did, violent images flashed across the consciousness of Sisko and Ba'al. "Your flesh will sustain my soul, and that of my children."

The flashing images went through their brains again. JOIN. JOIN.

Ba'al lost it, drawing his Zat gun and firing.

The Beast simply began to slowly laugh. "Violence is delicious." He moved forward and grabbed Ba'al by the throat. "You will make a fine Edelwood tree, Lord Ba'al…"

Before Sisko's eyes, Ba'al transformed slowly into a tree, his face contorting and screaming. Unlike the ordered and tall trees of the forest, this Edelwood tree was shorter and much more disturbing. White wisps of energy flowed away from the tree.

As this occurred, the beast spoke.

 _And I saw, from eyes that were not mine._

 _And I felt, with a fear I could not reason._

 _They watch us, they invade us._

 _And keep us happy, committing treason._

 _To a King we didn't deserve._

 _To a Son who waits weeping._

 _That I knew, from knowledge gained while sleeping._

The Beast laughed, turning to Sisko. "Now, my child, JOIN."

Sisko had an idea. He dropped his axe and phaser. "No. I will not join."

The Beast reached out with his hand, flooding Sisko's mind with images. He just stood, taking it all.

"Your submission is inevitable."

"I don't think so." Sisko simply turned around, and walked away.

The Beast roared. "My children! GET HIM."

Sisko broke into a run. _Don't exercise violence. That's what he feeds on._ He heard the deer closing in on him, snarling.

"Having fun yet Benjy?" Q asked, floating on a lounge couch beside Sisko.

"Get out." Sisko growled.

"Do you hear that? I think that's the deer picking up on your violent intentions!"

Sisko took calming breaths, dodging a charging deer.

"Allright Q, I get the point."

"Splendid!" Q said, clapping his hands.

All the deer ran straight into invisible walls. Q laughed. "Oh priceless! Animals are always humorous when they run into invisible things!"

Sisko kept running, and eventually came to a door. He turned to look behind him.

He saw the Beast standing in the forest, staring at him. Q waved at the Beast. "See you later Deer God!" And with that, Q vanished.

Sisko opened the door into the next room. He didn't even particularly care why Q had bothered to help him. He might not have even needed it.

The Beast shrugged. So one got away. That wasn't bad. There would be more.

Spooky kept up on her promises.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Wendy and Ty Lee were walking through the forest. Ty Lee was having the time of her life. "I don't CARE if this is just another room in the house! NO CARDBOARD CUTOUTS."

Wendy rolled her eyes.

"Hey, that tree looks different." She said, pointing at a short and gnarled tree. Upon closer inspection, it almost seemed like it had a face.

Around it were two axes, a strange white boxy thing, and a futuristic gun.

Wendy and Ty Lee instantly went to pick up the axes. Ty Looked at the gun, and decided against it. She didn't like guns.

Then the deer attacked.

They never stood a chance against Ty Lee. She let out an "AIYEE!" and with a speedy combination of axe swings, kicks, and directed punches, she butchered the deer into a million pieces.

Covered in deer blood, she stood up and looked back at Wendy. Her smile looked like it was from right out of a horror game. "Well, that's taken care of. Shall we move on?"

Wendy stared back in fear. "Yeah sure. Whatever…" She stared at the bodies of dozens of deer around them. She shuddered. Those teeth.

They found the exit door, and entered a large room with a high ceiling. The walls seemed to be covered in some kind of ancient language. They poked their heads into a side room with the same design to find a record player.

Wendy walked up to it. "This better not be a lame song that's going to get stuck in my head…" She started the record.

It was classical music. Calming, classical music. It went into her mind, seemingly telling her to calm down. Relax. It worked.

Ty Lee glared at the record. "I don't trust it."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "It's just soothing music. More music could be cool like this."

Ty Lee frowned. "I swear I see a spectre of some sort standing on the player."

Wendy turned behind her. She saw nothing. "Um… right…" She grabbed Ty Lee by the collar. "Let's just move."

As they progressed to the exit door, they heard a voice.

"Your mind will consent, and join with me…"

They turned to see the Beast standing in the room.

Ty Lee lunged at him with her axe. "LEMME AT IM!"

Wendy squinted her eyes. "I don't think so. I think…" She kicked the door open. "We should run!"

The Beast sighed. There were two ways to avoid him: have no violence, or run.

Perhaps he would chase them this time.

He sent out the images, causing Ty Lee to howl in rage. Wendy just winced, but continued to run. During the chase, an entire conversation took place.

"Why do you run, children?"

"NOT MY CHOICE!" Ty Lee roared. "I WANT TO GIVE YOU A TASTE OF MY AXE AND PUNCHES!"

Wendy shook her head. What was happening to Ty Lee? "I'm sorry dude, but I'm going to have to keep running."

"JOIN US."

"Nope, sorry dude. Not happenin."

"Then how about this. Come to me, and try to kill me. Make your struggle valliant."

"THAT SOUNDS GREAT!"

"Ty Lee! He's trying to manipulate us! Be cool!"

Ty Lee's face went blank for a moment. At that point in time, NOT attacking seemed like a total contradiction to her nature.

Then she realized.

"I have a PINK Aura!" She brightened up, leaping to her feet, grabbing Wendy, and running. "Let's get out of here!"

The Beast sighed. It wasn't worth it. He needed to get back to the forest and make more of his children to guard the wood. He trudged back to his room.

Ty Lee's suddenly sane and thoughtful personality didn't last very long, however, as a cardboard cutout shot out of the wall with an AIEEEEEE. This cutout resembled a mangled, bloody face, screaming. Not cute in any way.

Ty Lee's face darkened, and she chopped the cutout into a million pieces. "TAKE THAT."

Wendy saw her friend once more, deer blood still all over her, looking more mad than the mad hatter at a shoe party.

Ty Lee grabbed Wendy. "Come! Let's go!" She pranced away, axe in hand, Wendy in the other.

Wendy pondered what she could possibly have done to warrant this happening to her. Not only was she in a haunted house, but her companion was slowly going nuts.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ford whooped. "Look Mulder! A CAT-DOS! I wonder what information it has on it!"

In front of them was a large black rectangular object with a red screen and a keypad. Sure enough, the screen said CAT-DOS.

SPECIMEN_6 displayed the puppet, which had 189 fatalities, and was deemed effective against those with vision impairments. Mulder and Ford shuddered at the memory.

SPECIMEN_7 was described as a constantly form-changing mind creature that was only effective against subjects with past trauma. It usually took the form of a moving wall.

Ford and Mulder shuddered at this memory even more. It was one of the most terrifying things they had ever encountered. It only had 93 fatalities, though that was probably due to the fact that not that many subjects would have past trauma.

SPECIMEN_8 appeared to be some kind of boney/wooden humanoid deer skeleton. 149 fatalities, proven extremely effective against violent subjects.

Ford typed this entry into his jpad. There was no knowing when, or if, they'd encounter this Deer God.

Where the SPECIMEN_9 file should have been, there was a corrupted file.

"Hold on." Ford said. "Lemme see if I can save the file…" He cracked his fingers together, and began typing madly.

In a few minutes, he managed to get a file that kept flickering in and out.

 _SPECIMEN_9_

 _Type: Exterminated_

 _Total Fatalities: 362_

 _Method: Unknown_

 _A small skull shaped mass of clay that seemed to gain more form as subjects were TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN_

…

 _Specimen was deemed too hard to contain and was killed and dismantled by GL Labs._

Mulder and Ford, however, noticed that something kept flickering on and off in the background.

TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO

Ford recorded his findings in the jPad. "I have the feeling that this skull entity wasn't really destroyed. It is probably responsible for the file's contamination."

Mulder nodded. "I think it's probably the specimen we want to run into the least. Three-hundred and sixty two… that's much more than any of the others…"

SPECIMEN_10, the last file on this CAT-DOS, showed a file about a docile eel like thing for a moment before displaying the following message:

Error Wrong Specimen Display: 0001842167F

Ford raised his eyebrow. "Well that's curious."

"Perhaps ten was replaced? Or in the process of being replaced?"

"Maybe we'll find out."

"I sure hope we don't…"

The two men marched out of the room, deeper into the house.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning, Applejack, and the Doctor had found the most annoying room of all.

The puzzle room.

It was obviously a single room, with four ways out, each obscured by white fog. Whenever someone went through one of the doors, they'd enter a room that was exactly identical to the one before. An infinite maze.

They'd been wandering around aimlessly for a while. They even tried to split up, but they all ended up in the same room. Somehow.

"So…" the Doctor said, looking at the four doors. "When I go forward, I get a nice happy bing noise, but when I go forward again, I get a bad bing noise…"

Lightning put her hand in her fist. "We must need to go through the doors in the right sequence to find the exit."

Applejack facehoofed. "I suggested that ten minutes ago!"

The Doctor grinned. "Allons-y!" He leapt through the doors, time after time, trying to find the correct sequence.

It turned out to be forward, left, right, left.

"WOO! Door! Exit!" The Doctor grabbed it and threw it open, revealing a dark room.

Lightning cast fira in her hand, creating a light. The twirling flames danced, illuminating the area.

They appeared to be in some kind of high tech, albeit powered down, facility. The Doctor poked around. "Well, there's a lot of crates and monitors around, but the power isn't on. So normally we wouldn't be able to get anywhere… howEVER…" from inside his jacket, he produced a small cylindrical device. "This, ladies is known as a SONIC SCREWDRIVER!" He turned it on, and it lit up with a blue light. He used it to open one of the unpowered doors. "There we go. Shall we ladies?"

They nodded.

Applejack looked left and right. "All clear."

"Good. Allons-y!"

"Are ya ever gonna stop sayin' that?"

The Doctor looked at Applejack like she was crazy.

"Yeah thought not."

As they walked further into the depths, they didn't realize that something was following them.

Something old, and golden.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder was standing around being useless. "Ford, do you have the generator working yet?"

"It's not as simple as pushing a button Mulder! Generators for old abandoned facilities are complicated devices! Luckily I know my way around… THERE! Got it!" He closed the door.

"How do we turn it on?"

"We push that button." Ford said.

Mulder gave him a 'seriously?' look.

Ford sighed, proceeding to use his hand to smash the button.

The lights slowly turned on, illuminating the lab. The screens turned on, and the power doors consoles lit up.

Mulder walked up to one of the screens. "Let's see here…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Doctor was glaring at the lights. Now his fancy sonic screwdriver was completely useless, all the doors just WORKED.

Lightning shrugged. "I'm not complaining." She tapped one of the door consoles, and the door slid up into the ceiling easily. "See? Easy."

Applejack looked up. "I can't see the screen… is anything important on it?"

The Doctor facepalmed. "I dunno, but your race IS capable of standing on their hind legs for a while you know?"

"Oh. Shoot. Forgot that." She stood up, wobbling. "Better."

Lightning tapped a button on the screen, and a video started to play. A young man appeared on the screen.

"I am… well I'm just a lab assistant, my name isn't that important. This is video log one. Spooky and I have entered the old GL Labs facility. Oddly enough it seems to have been constructed with a much larger budget than the other GL Labs. Power doors, generators, and even a ventilation system! But, being an old lab, nothing works right. I can see why it was abandoned. I wonder if there really is anything worth salvaging."

"Hi again! Next report. We got the power back on, though everything still looks as boring as ever. The equipment doesn't seem quite right, almost as if it were designed for people without hands." In the video, the lights began to flicker and went out. "DRAT! Spooky! We've got another power outage!"

"Recording three… I'm beginning to think one of the things we need to salvage is an abandoned specimen. I really hope I'm not just bait."

"The power's off again. I'm making another recording out of boredom."

The video feed changed again, this time to Spooky.

"Oh. Hi. Video feed. Great. Never liked these things. Hi. If you're seeing this then… Uh…" She turned away from the camera. "What would that mean…" She had a moment of realization. "Oh! It means you found where it was stored! Right!" She frowned. "Darn it Spooky that was dumb…" She glared at the screen. "What are you looking at?"

The video cut again, this time to show the young assistant, but he seemed… sick. His skin was yellow, and it seemed slimy.

"I… don't know what to do… I can't think well. I feel strange. I'm hiding from that thing. That eel. It looks terrifying. It MUST be deadly…

I feel like something is growing on my skin…. ALL my skin...

I can't seem to tear it off fast enough… and I'm loosing a lot of blood…

I'm posting these videos to the entire facility network… maybe someone will see them…"

After a few moments of silence, he screamed, before falling out of the video frame.

A horrid screech filled the video, and the feed showed something with rows upon rows of teeth.

Then nothing but static.

Sisko took a deep breath.

He had seen this movie.

Heck, he had lived this movie.

Alien creature with lots of teeth.

Absolutely wonderful.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder looked away from the video feed. "Something OTHER than the eel thing is here."

"If we see the eel thing, let's befriend it." Ford remarked. "It might be a good ally."

"Good thinking."

Then the power went out.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Bloody brilliant this is!" The Doctor yelled, sarcastically.

Lightning rolled her eye. "Just use your magic screwdriver."

The Doctor rolled his eyes in return. "It's not magic, blimey!"

"Did ya just say 'blimey'?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah? So?"

"Nothin."

The Doctor led the way, opening another door.

Behind them, golden fingers pried open a vent cover.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The power was out.

The only way to go was through the vents, seeing as the doors no longer worked.

Mulder groaned. He'd had far too many bad experiences with ventilation systems.

Apparently, Ford had not had those same experiences. "Come on Mulder! Adventure awaits."

Mulder slid a hand across his face slowly. This was just excellent. He groaned and followed the old adventurer through the vents. It was cramped.

Mulder thought about making a 'cramping his style' joke, but decided against it. He wasn't that cheesy.

Ford, however, had other plans. "Wow this really is cramping my style!"

Mulder groaned.

They crawled through the vents, noticing patches of red that were suspiciously bloodlike. Mulder didn't even know why he was labeling it blood _like_ at this point. It was almost certainly blood, why bother adding _like_ to the word?

They eventually came out in another generator room.

Mulder just hit the button this time, turning the power on instantly.

"See? Sometimes it IS that simple!"

Mulder jumped as he saw the eel thing come out of the vents. It was long, silvery, and had a face that looked somewhat like a snake's skull. Then he relaxed. It might look scary, but it was snuggling up to his leg.

Ford patted the land eel's head. "Good boy. You'll protect us from that tooth monster won't you?"

The eel bobbed its head up and down.

At that point, Sisko crawled out of the vents.

The men stared at each other.

Ford blinked. "Well I haven't seen you before."

Mulder shrugged. "Neither have I. Are you part of this house, or are you yet another victim? You see I'm often not entirely sure which is which."

Sisko blinked. People who were talking and reasonable. Granted, they had a weird snake thing around them, but it didn't seem hostile. "I am Captain Benjamin Sisko of Terran Starfleet. I was taken here by a strange oak door. My companion, a lord Ba'al, has already been killed."

Ford's eyes widened. "You were here with Lord Ba'al?"

"Why yes. You know him?"

"The snake's a b******"

Sisko cocked his head. "Snake? He seemed humanoid-"

"The Goa'uld are parasites. The humanoid was his host." Ford grumbled. "Well, at least he's dead. That's good. Why was he with you anyway?"

"We were discussing his presence on Terra-"

Ford scratched his chin. "Now why have I never heard of Terra, I've explored the multiverse extensively…"

Sisko shrugged. "It's kinda new? In the empty sectors?"

Ford's eyes widened. "The empty sectors? Andromeda Galaxy? The Empire?"

"Yes…?"

Ford began to pace frantically as he typed in things on his jPad. "That's amazing… he's been transported millions of light years!" He paused. "How in the hay did Ba'al get to the Andromeda Galaxy?"

Sisko shrugged. He didn't have to tell these people anything about the wormhole.

Mulder's eyes widened. "Wait. If he got here, can he go back?"

"Why should I know?" Ford grunted.

"That means… Lightning might be able to get back to where her sister is!"

"Possible. That's assuming this wasn't a one-way-trip."

Mulder smiled. "I like having ho-"

The three men were interrupted when the eel started making crunching noises. They watched in horror as the thing's skull cracked open, and a strange gooey two-legged mass emerged from the eel. It didn't have any eyes, but all three of them suddenly felt like their souls were being taken apart piece by piece, examined under a microscope.

Ford drew his gun, firing a laser. The parasite reeled in pain, exposing a gaping mouth in its center, lined with rows upon rows of teeth.

"Well that did next to nothing…" Ford muttered. "Why is everything so resistant here?"

Mulder grabbed him. "Questions later, run now."

They took off through a door, entering the next room.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Doctor put his sonic screwdriver to his mouth in thought. "This looks like an exit door."

Lightning glanced around, unsure. "This is usually the point where we encounter some creature or beast or something…"

The three waited for a moment, but nothing happened. There was just them, the facility, and an exit door.

Applejack let out an annoyed sigh. "Just open the darn door."

The Doctor moved in slowly, hand outstretched. The door creaked open.

Through the door, the three simply saw another normal room. Brick walls lined with torches.

Lightning scratched her head. "Okay then…"

Then they heard it. A the sound of loud, metallic, footsteps. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK.

The creature behind them was golden-green, reflecting the light off and giving the surrounding area a sickening color. The skin was battered, decrepit, and very, very old. The face was that of a rabbit's, tortured and scarred almost beyond recognition. The two segmented rabbit ears poked out of the head, giving the creature the appearance of being much taller. The arms had metallic joints instead of shoulders and elbows, showcasing the creature's artificial nature. The chest had various large holes in it, showing the wired, metallic, and disorganized inside.

The creature's teeth were many in number, and flat.

But the eyes were the worst part.

They seemed alive. Little white pinpricks of life, not mechanical in any way.

It, no _he_ , smelled of death, decay, and bad oil.

The Doctor's jaw dropped. "Springtrap…" He shook his head. "Wait that's not possible I locked you away in… unless you… oh of course. This house must've taken you from your prison using the door. Dimensional surging…"

Springtrap moved forward, his hands outstretched.

Lightning growled. "Enough running." She sliced at Springtrap. He ducked, although Lightning managed to cut one of his ears in half. A strange swirling mist escaped from the place where she and Springtrap made contact, conglomerating in between them, forming an unnatural sphere.

Lightning could swear she heard Springtrap laugh. He rushed forward faster than a machine like that should have, grabbing Lightning by the coat.

Their eyes met in that moment, connecting.

The mist began to thicken, swirling around the two of them. Getting larger, thicker, more ominous.

The Doctor rushed in and pulled Lightning away. "Get out of there! That's not a normal mist!"

Applejack nodded. "No sayin' what it's doin' to ya!"

Lightning grumbled. That meant they had to run. Great. She was getting tired of that.

She hesitated only for a moment, then followed her two friends. Fighting seemed to not solve anything in this mansion.

Springtrap made a noise that resembled screaming and metal scraping against a conveyer belt. He ran after them.

Shadows of forgotten nightmares began to swirl around them. Strange burnt humanoid robotic shadows would appear in front of them and scream, only to vanish instantly afterwards.

Springtrap was playing with their minds, trying to get them to slow.

The shadows stopped when they arrived in a room with a desk, chair, fan, and phone.

The phone began to ring.

The Doctor picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hello." The voice of some girl responded.

"Um yeah. Who is this?" The Doctor asked.

"...Hi."

"...What?"

"...Hello? Hello!"

"...What?"

"...Um yes Hi."

"...What?"

"...Hellloooooo."

"...What?"

"...Hello."

"...What?"

"...I don't think you should look directly into the fan…"

Instantly, the Doctor looked directly at the fan. it just buzzed.

"Hello."

The Doctor hung up. He was silent for a while.

Then he spoke.

"What?"

Applejack and Lightning exchanged glances. Then they saw Springtrap again, screeching and pointing his golden finger at them.

They got out of there fast.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Sisko, Mulder, and Ford ran down the hallway. The thing was somehow affecting their minds, using its nonexistent eyes to study them on a subatomic level. It was intelligent.

In their minds a message played on repeat, digging into their psyche.

 _You will have nothing to fear!_

 _You will have nothing to think!_

 _Follow your selfish desires!_

 _Follow your natural instinct!_

 _After all you're just an animal._

 _It's much easier than trying to think!_

"It's like it WANTS us to run away…" Mulder muttered.

Ford shrugged. "Well I'm not going to let it come up and hug me am I?"

Then Mulder and Ford heard something different.

 _You are more than just an animal._

 _Use the soul you've been given._

 _And be responsible for your actions._

Mulder and Ford exchanged glances. The Cat was talking to them. How, they had no idea. But they knew it was The Cat.

Ford and Mulder instantly stopped running, and turned around to face the creature. Mulder drew his weapon, and Ford lit his gloves up.

"What are you doing?" Sisko yelled. "It's a parasite! It'll infect you!"

"It WANTS us to run." Ford said.

"We won't give it what it wants."

Sisko shook his head. They were crazy. He continued running.

The parasite laughed inside. Finally. One was far enough away. It shrieked, revealing its giant mouth with many rows of teeth. Out of its mouth poured a really fast leech-like creature. It rushed right between Ford and Mulder, not giving them a second thought, even as a bullet punctured its skin. It would feed on this man.

Sisko ran faster than he had ever ran before in his life. But it wasn't enough. The parasite was faster, mouth outstretched. It closed around him. Sisko yelled in pain.

Ford leapt onto the parasite with his gloves, shooting electricity through it. This also went into Sisko, causing him to scream in pain even more. The parasite released itself from Sisko, trembling.

Ford drew a gun and fired laser after laser at the incapacitated parasite. It eventually was reduced to a pile of ashes.

Mulder helped Sisko to his feet. He was weak, but that was to be expected from a man who had just been shocked with enough electricity to revive a person.

Ford looked back at the humanoid parasite, its mouth agape. Ford rushed the creature, hands outstretched. "CLEAR!" He yelled.

The parasite writhed in agony, collapsing in a heap. Ford then proceeded to give in the same treatment the leech got. He blew the smoke off his gun dramatically.

"There we go." He said.

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" Mulder questioned.

"If the parasite was for some reason immune to my gloves, I could have lost a hand. Comprende? I took a risk when I shocked it on Sisko."

The next room they went into was a CAT-DOS room. Ford accessed it, finding only one piece of new information.

 _SPECIMEN_10_

 _Type: Active_

 _Total Fatalities: 245_

 _Method: Parasitic Infections_

 _A form changing creature that is believed to be an extraterrestrial, though it was not officially proven. Proved very effective on most subjects. But deemed to difficult to contain. The specimen broke out of its containment area due to frequent electrical malfunctions._

Mulder threw his hands in the air. "Sure. NOW we get this information. Just wonderful."

Sisko moaned. "Parasitic infections…"

Ford shook his head. "We don't know for sure if you're infected. Now come on."

The three stumbled into the next room.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Yep." Applejack said. "Don't know exactly what I was expecting."

The three of them were looking at a giant purple "map" of the house that looked like a big tetris grid. It said "You are here." The only problem was that the rooms obviously spilled off the edges of the map and some of the rooms were actively moving across the board.

The Doctor smirked. "I suspected the house was constantly rearranging itself…"

Lightning grunted. "You just love being right."

The next room was an elevator. Applejack bucked the button, embedding it further into the wall. The elevator began to descend, creaking.

Lightning observed the poster. It was a picture of an adorable cartoon heart with the caption "Keep that blood pumpin!" In the background there was a dripping design.

Lightning grunted. "Keep the blood pumpin so we can be sucked dry later. Got it."

The Doctor threw open the elevator's door to reveal what appeared to be the inside of a fast food restaurant. There was the signature red stripe along the walls, the unnaturally shiny furniture and counter. There were plenty of signs and posters advertising the restaurant itself, which seemed to focus on the catchphrases "TASTE THE BEEF" and "100% BEEF." There was nobody working there. Which brought up the question: why was it so clean if it was abandoned?

At the moment, however, that didn't really worry the three visitors.

Because they. Were. HUNGRY. They hadn't really eaten since they'd gotten there.

"Search behind the counter!" The Doctor yelled. "We must find some nutrition!"

Lightning leapt over the counter, pulling open the doors. Sure enough, there were some perfectly crafted hamburgers, already prepared. Even warm.

Applejack sighed. "I've never been a fan of hamburgers... "

The Doctor raised his eyebrows as he dug in. "I thought your race were vegetarians? You actually ate some?"  
"I've learned to eat the stuff. If you travel across universes at some point you have to eat meat. Bacon tastes pretty good for instance. Hamburgers though? Eh, I'll pass…"

Lightning brought up a barrel from under the counter. It was filled with apples. Applejack's eyes widened. "GIVE." She grabbed them and began eating.

"Applejack, you can't eat all those apples-" The Doctor began.

"FORGET YOU! I CAN EAT ALL THESE APPLES!" She began to eat the apples at a rate of 5 aps (apples per second).

The Doctor and Lightning dropped their hamburgers to stare at Applejack.

The Doctor blinked. "That's impossible…"

Lightning grinned. "Go Applejack! EAT ALL THOSE APPLES!"

In less than a minute, every last apple had been completely devoured. Applejack threw the barrel away. "MORE. APPLES." She then galloped off to search for more apples.

Lightning and the Doctor clapped, then returned to their meals. It was exceptionally good for a fast food restaurant.

Although the Doctor was pretty sure it tasted nothing at all like beef…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ford and Mulder dragged Sisko into the 100% Beef restaurant. Sisko didn't look good, his skin had become yellowed and clammy, parts of it peeling off. He was also in a cold sweat.

Mulder saw Lightning behind the counter. "Lightning! Thank goodness, can you heal him?"

Lightning turned to Mulder with one of those creepy smiles that sales clerks give you. "Hello and welcome to One Hundred Percent Beef! May I take your order?"

"Lightning this isn't funny. Do you have a magic spell you can cast on him?"

Lightning's face became confused. "You mean…" She racked her brain. "Um… Oh! You mean one of these things?" She waved her hands. "ESUNA!"

A white light encompassed Sisko, attempting to work him back to normal. His skin changed back to its normal color, and he stopped sweating. His skin smoothed.

He managed to stand up. "That was amazing…" He clutched his chest. "But I think it's still in there… I can feel it wriggling around… In my skin..."

Lightning frowned, looking around with her eye. "Perhaps one of our burgers can help? They seem to be-"

Mulder glared. "Cut the act Lightning, just find a way to fix Sisko."

Lightning closed her eye. "Alright, I'll cook something up…" She reached below the counter, pulling out a hamburger. "On the house. Don't tell the manager."

Ford scratched his chin. Something was up.

Sisko bit into the hamburger. "I don't know if this is helping but I was very hungry…"

Ford took a bit of the meat, chewing it in his mouth. He spat it out. "STOP EATING IT."

Sisko dropped the hamburger. Ford threw him a pill. "Take that. It'll make you regurgitate it." Sisko grabbed the pill, swallowing it. The explosive puke got all over Mulder. "ACK!"

Lightning's eye widened. "W-w-why are you doing this? It's 100% beef!"

"No it isn't. It's demon meat." Ford turned to Lightning. "I'll need to get it out of you as well…"

Lightning shook her head. "The manager would…"

"Who IS the manager?" Ford questioned.

"I AM." A back door flung open, revealing the Doctor. "You!" He pointed at Ford, charging.

"Doctor?" Ford said, surprised. "What are you-"

Ford's head got grabbed, and rammed into a wall. "You will eat. You will eat no-"

Sisko punched the Doctor back. "I don't think so."

Mulder drew his gun. "Back up, Doctor."

The Doctor glared at all of them. "Lightning. Teach them the benefits of our food."

Lightning shuddered. "Yes sir…" She drew her Blazefire Sabre, charging.

Sisko, Ford, and Mulder prepared themselves. This wasn't good…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Applejack took a moment to collect herself. The only place she hadn't checked for apples was the fun area. And there were apparently rules for going into that place, most of which didn't make any sense.

1: Be this tall: _I can stand up to be that tall easily! Though I can't walk around like that…_

2: No screams: _What kind of fun is this supposed to be? I reckon children scream a lot out of delight…_

3: Look out for snakes: _What in tarnation?_

4: No alcohol: _...That's obvious. Why do they need to come out and say it? It'll give the little ones ideas._

5: No diving: _There's no water is there?_

6: No hiding: _What?_

7: We will find you: _Oh yeah that sounds like a rule._

Despite her uneasy feeling, Applejack entered the fun area anyway. Her holy quest for apples must not be hindered.

It turned out just to be a bunch of neon-colored tunnels with creepy carnival music playing in the background. "I swear if a freaky clown comes trompin around…"

After a while of getting well and truly lost, she came across a chain. It came out of the floor and was being pulled into the ceiling, presumably by a mechanized crank. Applejack couldn't see the bottom or the top of the chain. It just seemed to go forever.

Then part of the chain came up that was covered in blood.

Applejack's "MORE APPLES" mentality broke at that point. This house was a freak show. She needed to keep her cool.

She realized she had left the Doctor and Lightning. She grunted. "Usin apples against me… Tarnation… I oughta…" She grumbled to herself as she looked for a way out.

What she found instead was a sheaf of papers, entitled "My experience at 100% Beef."

 _I was anxious getting a job here at first, but it seems like things are getting better. This chain is really expanding, which is a shock, because just last week I heard this company was getting broke._

 _Everyday more and more people show up to eat here. Something still sets me off about this place and its food though, so I'm going to try and not eat anything from here._

 _..._

 _Today was a weird day..._

 _The average number of orders continues to rise as it has been, but I don't know about the number of people. Today I saw someone use the drive through and ordered a lot of food for one person, and then about 10 minutes later, they were back. They ordered the exact same meals, and then they left again, then after another 10 minutes they were back again._

 _Maybe they're just delivering food for a party or hotel, but it worries me for some reason._

 _..._

 _Well I broke my one rule today._

 _The management doesn't give out actual lunch breaks, so I can't go anywhere, and they won't allow outside foods here. I mean they actually screamed at the last customer who did that._

 _Anyway I had a burger. It wasn't bad, and I don't feel sick, so I might get a few every now and then._

 _..._

 _This is strange..._

 _I had a dream last night about this restaurant. I know I was here, but I also felt like I was in another place at the same time. Everything looked so... wrong. Nothing was the right size, and I kept hearing these strange animal noises, almost like wailing. I guess I just feel guilty for eating that burger the other day._

 _Also today I saw that man again, the one who kept ordering every 10 minutes. This time he never even left the parking lot. He just got his meal, parked, and then got back in line. He must have done it at least 8 times before he left._

 _..._

 _There was a horrible "accident" today. At least that's what the managers are calling it..._

 _One of the other employees brought in some outside food, and got into a fight with a manager about it. The employee said that the burgers here smell like sulfur. I then watched the manager grab the kid's neck and shove his head onto the grill. The employee got up and ran out before anyone could do anything, and I'm told that he is fine, but that really shook me today._

 _..._

 _I'm leaving._

 _I fell asleep in my car today, after eating one of those burgers. I remembered brief flashes of a man or animal coming towards me and feeling like some huge, lumbering thing was wailing from deep underground as I continued eating. When I woke up I was fine, but had veered off the road. I don't know if it's some weird allergic reaction to a preservative they use or something much worse, but this is my last day._

Applejack growled. "This place is goin down like a tree in lumberjack season." She ran, hoping to find the exit.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ford, Mulder, and Sisko were lumped up in a corner, beaten up and tied.

"Good work, Lightning." The Doctor said. "Now, we shall give them our ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BEEF burgers. They are guaranteed to love it!"

Lightning nodded, grabbing three burgers. "Here they are, sir."

The Doctor pointed at Ford. "Him first."

Ford glared. "When I get out of here, i'm going to-"

Lightning shoved a hamburger into his mouth. He spat it out.

The Doctor's face twisted in complete rage. He grabbed Ford by the collar. "You will eat."

"No."

The Doctor dragged Ford over to a grill. "EAT!"

Ford looked at the Doctor's pure rage. "I had hoped never to be on the receiving end of your anger, Doctor, but it looks like I don't have a choice-"

The Doctor pressed Ford's face into the grill, causing him to scream in agony. He then lifted Ford up, glaring at him. "What about now?"

"I think you've just given me a new idea on how to shave. Otherwise, no."

"YOU WILL EAT-"

"I reckon NO!"

The Doctor was launched back over the counter, flopping onto the floor. He was rather dazed. Having a pony buck you had that effect.

Applejack turned to Lightning. "You don't have to do this!"

"But… the manager!"

"Are ya really gonna let someone tell you what to do?"

Lightning's eyepatch flashed. "No. No I'm NOT!" She whirled around, facing the Doctor. "You are not my manager!"

The Doctor roared, standing up. "You will eat! You will become-" He began to tremble. "You will.." He fell to the ground, yelling in pain. A red gas began to stream out of his mouth.

A being began to materialize in front of him, appearing from the gas. It was red, humanoid, and had giant horns. It floated a few feet in the air, large muscles glinting off the light. Its laugh filled the space.

The Doctor gasped for breath. "What?" He said, confused. "What happened?"

"You got brainwashed by a demon hamburger." Lightning summarized.

The Doctor blinked. Well that wasn't the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him.

The 100% Demon looked around. It roared. " **NEW MEAT. WONDERFUL.** "

Ford leapt to his feet, his face still burning. He readied his gloves. "RUN! I've got this!"

Applejack's eyes widened. "Ford?"

"Get out of here before it takes you to its realm! That means you, pony."

Applejack squinted. "We aren't leaving without you!"

Ford looked back in surprise. "Why-"

"Because I learned a thing or two while we were separate. We aren't leavin ya!"

Ford smiled. "Thank you Applejack, but you don't have a choice." Ford clapped his twelve fingers together, lighting his gloves up. "I'm making my own choice." He charged. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN REALM?"

" **WHAT IS IT YOU THINK YOU CAN DO? YOU CAN'T SAVE THE-"**

Ford placed the gloves on the 100% Demon, sending spirit electricity into it. "WE WILL GO BACK TO THAT DARK HOLE FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!"

In a flash of red and white, Ford and the 100% Demon vanished. Nothing remained.

The five remaining visitors stood to their feet. Sisko stumbled, already weakening again.

Everyone stared at where Ford had been.

There was silence.

"Let's move." Lightning said, voice as cold as stone. "We don't want his sacrifice to be for nothing."

The other four nodded, and continued on.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ford looked around. He had been expecting a deeper level of the Spiritual Planes. This place was still deep down, but it wasn't anywhere near the bottom. And he had been at the VERY bottom before, AND escaped with his life in tact.

He looked around at the meaty walls. This was a demon trap. He would wander for a while, then come face to face with the demon who he had imprisoned here with him. But since it was stuck, he could face it. He had to be careful though, this was the place the 100% Demon took its victims, it knew the place better than Ford did.

He began his journey through the impossibly twisting meat tunnels. The geometry was utterly and completely impossible, but he'd been in the Spiritual Planes more than enough to be used to it. He continued marching forward, until he saw it in front of him.

The 100% Demon.

" **WITH EVERY BITE WITH BONE AND SKIN.**

 **THE TEMPLE GROANED AND SHOOK AGAIN.**

 **HIS DWELLING PLACE DID I NEGLECT.**

 **TO THIS END WITH BAD EFFECT."**

Ford performed a slow clap. "Very dramatic, but I've tangled with more than enough demons. Have some of this." He reached into his coat pocket and threw a capsule of holy water. "That water is from one of the highest of the Spiritual Planes, 100% Demon, it will burn right through you."

The 100% Demon screeched in pain, melting right before Ford's eyes. It became nothing more than a puddle.

Ford had no clue if that was permanent or not. He tugged his coat.

Now, to begin the long journey out.

It could take weeks…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _SPECIMEN_11. Type, active. Total Fatalities, 317. Method, unknown._ Wendy read, pondering. The CAT-DOS showed an image of a demon. _A floating red figure that was found inside a secret area below a large abandoned corporate office once owned by a restaurant franchise. The specimen is extremely violent and also seems to leave the house at will despite various containment methods. Victims vanish on contact with specimen but sometimes remains of the victims have been found inside the testing chamber days later. Proved not effective as victims souls do not remain after contact._ Wendy shuddered. So this place was designed to harvest souls. But why?

Ty Lee dragged her axe along the ground, leaving a trail of blood. "Can we just get moving? If we find anything, I'll slice it."

Wendy shook her head. "I'll need the information if you aren't there." _Like if you go and get yourself killed._

Ty Lee huffed.

SPECIMEN_12 was a self-building house that possessed people who entered it. It had 57 fatalities, but it wasn't considered a reliable method of 'extraction' due to the fact that it varied too much. Wendy wondered if this house was used in the construction of the continually changing mansion they were currently in.

SPECIMEN_13 was, evidentially, a siren. A beautiful woman who was aquatic and lured people in with her allure. 194 fatalities. Wendy didn't consider this too much of a problem. She was a girl, and she could swim. There would be no problem. If they even ran into her.

Wendy took herself away from the screen. "Okay, we can go now."

"Finally!"

The next room sprung a pumpkin cutout on them. Ty Lee hacked it in half. "You… my little pumpkin friend… ARE NOW PIE."

Wendy took a moment to examine Ty Lee. She was covered in blood from various sources, dragged her axe along the ground, and continually twitched and had a look on her face that changed from crazy smiles, to unrestricted rage at the drop of a hat.

Perhaps she was possessed by specimen 12.

Then again, they had never seen that plac-

Just as she thought that, they arrived in a room that looked like it belonged in an old victorian mansion. Ty Lee pranced into the room while dragging her axe, making quite the interesting combination of sounds. She walked right past the entry hall, into a dining hall. "Hey look. Exit door. That was easy."

Ty Lee tried it. It was locked.

She began to hack the door down with the axe.

Wendy blinked. Why hadn't they thought of that before?

Just as Ty Lee completed bashing the door down, they heard a door behind them open.

An old man dragging a bloody scythe on the floor was walking towards them, slowly. He was smiling. Not the crazy insane smile of Ty Lee, but an oddly calm, submissive smile.

Somehow it was worse.

He raised the scythe.

Ty Lee wasn't having any of that. She charged in, embedding her axe _deep_ in the man's stomach, causing his intestines to pour out. He gagged, obviously surprised. The scythe dropped to the ground with a clatter, the man slumping to his knees and dying.

But Ty Lee wasn't done. She proceeded to sever every limb from his body, smash in his skull, and mutilate whatever she could. After a few minutes, she stood up, proud of her work.

"Shall we go, Wendy?"

Wendy, completely traumatized, slowly nodded. She absent-mindedly hefted her axe, and they left the ever-growing mansion-in-a-mansion.

They didn't even realize that the old man was carrying the keys.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Sisko was deteriorating. No matter how much Lightning cast Esuna on him, the thing inside him kept growing. Getting larger. It wanted out.

Applejack had to carry him.

"You know…" Sisko said. "I just realized. I've seen your race before. One of you is in the Andromeda galaxy."

"Yeah?" Applejack said, but Lightning decided to butt in. "Andromeda? You're from Andromeda?"

"Yes?"

Lightning's eye widened. "There might be a way to get back faster…"

"Back?" Sisko said, breathing hard.

Lightning turned away. "My sister and I got lost. I think she's there. Somewhere."

"That's right, Mulder did mention something about that…"

Mulder sighed. "Don't get your hopes up. I don't think-"

The Doctor smiled. "ALWAYS have hope, agent Mulder, ALWAYS."

Sisko clutched his chest, collapsing on the ground. "I'm.. not going to make it…"

Lightning cast Esuna again. "We just need to get you out. To a surgeon."

Sisko shook his head. "No. I am not going to make it."

"Always have hope." The Doctor said.

Sisko glared. he took his starfleet pin off his uniform and gave it to Lightning. "If you can get to the Andromeda galaxy, find my people. Tell them what happened. Give them that as proof."

Lightning gently took the pin, and fixed it to her coat. "I'll keep it safe."

He smiled. "Now… I suppose you are right Doctor." He forced himself to walk of his own will. "I best try to get back myself. I have a family."

Everyone smiled sadly, continuing on. They arrived at an elevator room, with an advertisement instead of the usual poster.

 _100% BEEF!_

 _NOW HIRING "COW" FEEDERS!_

 _YOU could be the next cog in the majestic beef grinding machine!_

 _Follow your dreams and feed "cows" all day!_

 _Slight chance of injury!_

 _Only O+ blood types are allowed but all are welcomed to sacrifice for the cause!_

 _See your local doctor for a blood type change today and prepare for the future!_

At the bottom, in really fine print, there was another message:

 _By reading this text you have agreed to let 100% Beef Corp draft you into the volunteer program! See you working hard soon!_

Lightning cast Fire on the poster. "Agreed my ass." Lightning muttered. She smacked the down button, bringing them even further down.

The group continued on, eventually arriving in a dark, damp place. They could hear water running. There was a pressure door at the end of the room, and other doors on either side.

Mulder tried the pressure door. "It won't budge…"

"Water pressure's too high…" The Doctor muttered. "We'll have to lower it."

"Hey check this thingy out!" Applejack said. "A report of some kind…"

 _Research report 1_

 _More whales are being shipped to the facility tomorrow, one for a health inspection and two that are already dead of autopsies._

 _More and more beached whales keep appearing around those islands and I still can't find what is causing it._

"We're in a research facility." Mulder said. "But not a GL Labs."

The five wandered the area for a bit, opening doors, checking pipes and things, until they found a room with two other reports.

 _Research report 2:_

 _Whale 014-D has strange small bite makes. They appear from another smaller mammal, but the strangest thing about them is their placement. They are in even rows inside the whale's stomach, all about 5 feet from the 'bottom' of the stomach lining._

 _Research report 3:_

 _Whale 015-A is still alive but gets into fits of thrashing and is surfacing more often than natural. I think there may be a problem with its lungs, but I don't have any tools that would allow me to check it without it dying._

 _I will have to allow it to die from whatever is causing it and then do an autopsy._

The Doctor cocked his head. "You know, it occurs to me that whales don't keep in captivity well. And that the facility we're in right now doesn't seem like a place to observe whales. A lack of windows. And lights."

Lightning shrugged. "Let's just figure out how to get through here."

Sisko sighed. "I have a feeling it isn't going to be very simple."

They found a door locked by a combination lock. The Doctor pointed out that there were 256 combinations and that it would take a while to hack through. Mulder volunteered to sit there trying every combination. "1111, 1112, 1113, 1114, 1121, 1122…" Sisko stayed with him.

The other three went into a room where there WAS an observation deck. A window into a large tank of water. Nobody saw any whales.

Lightning shrugged, picking up another research report.

 _Research Report 4:_

 _Whale 015-D has died much sooner than I expected while I was away on holiday. I regret not being here, but I had estimated it would live much longer. The team that did the autopsy said nothing seemed to be wrong with the lungs but the stomach had a circular hole about 2 feet in diameter all the way through to the outside of the Whale._

 _This pretty much confirms a parasite is the cause of death._

Lightning clapped her hands together. "Guess what we're going to have to run from and/or fight!"

The Doctor and Applejack rolled their eyes. "A whale parasite…"

"OOOOOF course." Lightning threw the page away. "SPOOKY! YOUR HOUSE IS GETTING PREDICTABLE."

And at that remark, a giant whale appeared outside the observation window. It made a deep warbling noise.

The three visitors blinked, then slowly backed out of the room. _That_ had not been predictable. They passed by Mulder and Sisko again.

"2344, 2411, 2412, 2413…"

Sisko looked bored. And sick, but mostly bored.

They found another room, this one with a strange piece of paper that seemed like it was ripped from a book.

 _Excerpt 4132._

 _And then I watched carelessly as the sea rose above the sky casting waving shadows over the world._

 _I saw the silhouettes of creatures both familiar and forgotten._

 _And suddenly I found myself falling towards an ocean of darkness._

"Okay, that's darn creepy." Applejack said. "But I'm bettin that's our combination."

They stopped by Mulder and Sisko.

"4122, 4123, 4124-"

Lightning walked up and put in 4132. The door clicked.

"Come on!" Mulder protested. "I was almost there!"

"Should've started with 4444." Lightning suggested. The locked room was a water control room, with two reports attached to the pump controls.

 _Research report 5:_

 _The research facility is now in dire need of more engineers. We have a whole block that is flooded, and some vital staff are missing._

 _Research report 6:_

 _I hear a girl_

 _or an animal._

 _Or something…_

 _singing to me, pleading that I come outside my locked room and let the sweeping waves comfort me._

The Doctor pressed one of the buttons, and everyone heard as water was pumped away from somewhere. Presumably from behind the sealed door.

They walked up to the pressure door, and took a deep breath.

As the door opened, water seeped out into the room. There was a LOT of water still in there, rushing out at high speed. But it stopped at about waist-high.

Applejack was the only one having a problem. She had to swim just to stay above the water. "What a lot of hootenanny…"

No-one questioned 'hootenanny'. Not that they knew what it meant or anything, but they were used to it by now.

They waded through the rooms, observing that there were a lot of crates floating in the water.

"Be on the lookout for a creature that's swimming." The Doctor said as he picked up a key off a crate floating in the water. "Because that's obviously what's coming."

Mulder picked a piece of paper off another crate.

 _Research Report 7:_

 _All the staff is gone_

 _only I remain._

 _For no purpose, I remain here, resisting the call from behind the sealed door._

 _But I will remain… As long as I can._

 _Don't open that door._

The five looked at the locked door in front of them.

It was the only way out, of course.

The Doctor shrugged, and unlocked the door.

Aside from the sloshing they made by moving, it was deathly quiet. They trudged through, looking left and right for whatever creature they were to face next.

Then they saw her from behind. A sleek, smooth figure topped with white hair. Just sitting on a crate, very still. She began to hum, twirling her fingers in the water.

"Hello Handsome Face..

Are you looking for a change of pace?

I'll show you my style..

Come! Stay for awhile..

Pure ecstasy awaits..."

Mulder, Sisko, and the Doctor's eyes flashed, and they began to move forward slowly.

Lightning and Applejack groaned. Just great. At least it was predictable, right?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee dragged her axe through the water, tinting it red. "I'm ready to take that siren down."

"I bet you are…" Wendy said, cautious. Not only was she walking with a crazy girl with an axe, but now her jeans were wet and heavy. Just great.

They heard fighting. Ty Lee busted down the door without even bothering to check if it was open.

The scene they saw was Mulder, the Doctor, and Sisko staring at a naked siren. Lightning and Applejack were over in a corner, gash marks all over their bodies, barely breathing.

Ty Lee didn't need any provocation. She charged the siren, attempting to embed the axe in her forehead. The siren simply dove under the water, fish tail flapping.

"Wait…" Wendy said. "If it has a fish tail, isn't it a mermaid?"

"Does it matter?" Applejack moaned from the corner.

Ty Lee swugn the axe back and forth, making contact with the water but never finding her fishy friend. She roared in rage. Her vision began to go red.

The siren surfaced near Wendy, clawing her. Wendy screamed and swung her axe around blindly. She could hear the siren giggle. It surfaced right in front of her face, showing that it had a mouth filled with sharp and pointy teeth.

"CURA!" Lightning yelled, healing herself. She got to her feet, took aim with her gunblade, and fired. The Siren screamed, diving back under the water. Wendy took a breath. "Thanks…"

"It's not over yet." Lightning grumbled, turning to heal Applejack.

Ty Lee screamed. "YOU FREAKING FISH-TAILED FREAK! I WILL FIND YOU AND DISMEMBER YOU!"

"Is it just me or has she gotten more extreme?" Lightning asked.

"Yep…" Wendy nodded, sadly.

"The blood all over her really completes the image."

"Yep…"

Applejack jumped on top of the crates, looking for the siren. "There that rowdy fish is!" She said, pointing. Ty Lee charged and Lightning shot at the area Applejack indicated.

The men were still useless, staring at where the siren used to be, mouths open. Drooling.

Sisko began to shudder and twitch. He yelled.

"No!" Lightning said. Slowly, Sisko seemed to turn inside out, his skin apparently boiling. He slowly turned into the two-legged yellow parasite. The parasite turned slowly, baring its teeth. It moved towards Mulder.

Lightning cast Fira, burning the creature. She leapt over boxes, attempting to bring her sword down on the creature. The siren, however, had other plans, scratching Lightning's ankle and making her trip, splashing into the water. The siren moved in for the kill.

Applejack leapt into the water, hooves impacting with the siren's skull. The water lessened the impact, but it still dented the bone. The siren retreated.

The parasite had just about bit Mulder when Ty Lee cut right into it with her axe, spraying yellow blood everywhere. "This is EXHILARATING."

Lightning stood up, keeping pressure off her one ankle. Being in water helped a little. She tried to cure it, but had to stop when she saw the siren coming back. She brought her sword down, but she missed. All she did was cause the siren to change direction.

Applejack went into rainbow form. "I"ll buck this thing out of here!"

She bucked with intense power, launching waves everywhere, rocking everyone. The siren wasn't hit, and didn't seem to care about the waves.

Wendy shook her head. How could this get any worse?

She felt metallic fingers close around her neck and lift her above the water. She gagged. She was then thrown into the Doctor and Mulder, snapping them out of it.

"What?" The Doctor said.

Mulder drew his gun, turning to Wendy's assailant. It was Springtrap, and he was… laughing?

Mulder fired. The bullets just sparked against Springtrap's golden metal skin. The siren and the parasite took the opportunity to attack, only to have Lightning feed bullets into them.

Mulder groaned. "Bullets are never effective these days…"

The Doctor chuckled. "Try not carrying a weapon at all. Much more exciting."

They were losing. They were just too outmatched. Three creatures at once. They were slowly being overcome. The area was far too cramped for Lightning to summon Odin and not have collateral damage.

Luckily for them, at that moment, a certain person snapped.

Ty Lee's vision went completely red, the rage blinding her.. She somehow managed to drive the axe straight through the parasite in one slice, turn around, slice off the siren's head, _and then_ charge towards Springtrap and embed the axe in his chest, causing him to fall into the water.

Wendy whooped. "Go Ty Lee!"

Ty Lee turned around, raising her axe high, aiming for Wendy. Wendy froze, unable to move. The axe hit Wendy right in the head, killing her instantly.

She slumped forward, splashing in the now-completely-red water.

Ty Lee's vision cleared. She realized what she had done.

She looked around, left, and right. "No. She was one of them. Don't you see? DON'T YOU SEE?" At that moment, the child inside Ty Lee died, completely. She tightened the grip around her axe, and ran through the exit, letting out a noise that was a combination of remorseful tears and mad rage.

"WAIT!" Mulder yelled, rushing after her. He looked through the exit.

The next room had several doors she could have gone through, and the water removed any trail she might have left.

"D***." He muttered.

Lightning stepped over Wendy's body. She pulled out a spell. "ARISE." The slice in Wendy's skull vanished, and all her bruises vanished. She groaned.

Mulder turned to Lightning, hopeful. "Can you help Sisko?"

Lightning shook her head. "I'd need HIS body. Not the body of the parasite…" She fingered the starfleet pin. "He's gone."

Wendy, the Doctor, Mulder, Applejack, and Lightning had a moment of silence. They eventually realized that they would have to keep moving. Silently they exited the room, going further into the mansion.

Lightning stole a glance behind her to look at Springtrap's body. Mist swirled around it unnaturally, but it wasn't moving. She glared at it before leaving.

A minute later, Springtrap lifted his head. They were gone. Good.

He stood up, and laughed.

He would get them eventually.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee ran, tears in her eyes.

Everyone was wrong. Everyone was wrong. That wasn't Wendy.

Or was it?

Was she supposed to be killed?

Ty Lee paused for a moment through her tears, feeling the blade of the axe. The blade broke the skin, causing blood to leak from her finger.

Ty Lee looked at the rest of her. Ragged, tattered, and covered in the blood of so many different sources. And lots of cardboard bits.

Maybe… this was how things were supposed to be.

A grin spread across her face. She hefted the axe above her head, and laughed.

She laughed like there was no tomorrow.

 _Kill them all._

In a nearby wall, Spooky smiled.

"Welcome, Specimen 14."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning, Mulder, Applejack, the Doctor, and Wendy arrived in an elevator room.

In place of the poster there was simply a picture of The Cat in a cardboard box, looking sad.

The five of them stood for a moment, taking it in.

Applejack shuddered. "I have a feelin' that we're approachin' the end of this here adventure…"

Lightning tightened the grip on her sword. "Let's just hope it ends well."

The Doctor picked up a small notebook that was on the desk.

He read aloud.

 _In order to survive this house I need to keep writing in this journal._

 _I must do everything a central protagonist would do and hope this is one of those stories._

 _I've also got to try as hard as I can not to pick up any other notes I find._

 _Because I think that summons that tall man character._

…

 _I found a computer with information of all the specimens. It seems to rate them based on how effective they are at killing people._

 _There is more going on here than simply a creepy haunted house filled with horror cliches._

…

 _I think the 'effectiveness' of the specimens is also related to the souls of the people they kill somehow. The file on specimen 11 proves that. But what purpose could the harvesting be for?_

 _Anyway I'm still alive and strong, but I feel like the inmost cave of my journey lies ahead._

 _I wonder what the antagonist will look like._

 _I hope they're cute._

… _..._

 _Well, I just survived that Siren. That was the last specimen in the CAT-DOS. I must be getting extremely close._

 _I haven't seen Spooky in a while. She's probably waiting._

 _IS she the antagonist? I'm not sure. She just seems too cute._

… _..._

 _I just realized that I never had a mentor figure, trial, or leaving home scene._

 _That means this story isn't following the archetypes to make me a traditional hero._

 _Which means I can be killed off._

 _Well, it was nice for a little while at least._

 _I'll leave this journal behind for the true hero to find, when they arrive._

 _If you're reading this, congratulations! You're probably the hero._

 _Go forth and win._

 _I hope you haven't been picking up the other notes._

On the next page there was simply a bunch of numbers written down. It started at one, and stopped at nine hundred ninety five.

The Doctor closed the book. "Something more sinister is indeed going on here. And we only have five more rooms to figure it out."

Mulder blinked. "You think she literally meant a thousand?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did."

Wendy pressed the down button. The elevator made a very deep creaking noise, and began to descend.

After what seemed like an impossibly long time, they arrived at the bottom. They opened the door slowly, showing them another room with a brain in a tank. Wendy walked up and touched the glass. Her eyes went wide. "It… just told me something. A sequence of numbers."

Mulder blinked. "I wonder what that's for…"

"I know. The blank arcade."

"What?"

She waved her hand. "I'll show you if I see it."

Lightning opened the next door. "Nine hundred and ninety seven…" she muttered.

The room was filled with four arcade machines. Wendy was drawn towards the blank one, waving the others over. She input the code she was given.

An image appeared. Of spooky, alive. A normal kid just as cute as she was now. She even had legs. It shifted to an image of her trick or treating with a jack-o-melon sitting on a porch. Her bag was nearly empty.

Then there was an image of fear, and a bullet.

Spooky's voice filled the room. "I just wanted to be taken seriously.. I just wanted to scare people…" There was a pause. "They overreacted, but I don't blame them." Another pause. "At least I finally scared someone."

The Doctor furrowed his brow. "Backstory…"

"So…" Wendy said. "Some Summerween she didn't get any candy, decided to scare someone, and got shot?"

"Yeah… wait what's summerween?"

"The people of Gravity Falls like halloween so much they have it twice a year. I never understood it."

Mulder cut in. "There must be more. If this was her only reason, why has she killed some of us? Why has she set up this place to harvest souls? It only explains why she lets us run and escape, she likes fear. It does not explain why she needs our souls…"

Lightning fingered the starfleet pin. "Does the reason matter? We just don't let her win. That's it. We show her that she isn't the boss of us. Thier deaths will not have been in vain." She marched into the next room. 998.

It was a simple room. They walked down a short hallway to find a door on one side. They tried the door, and it was locked.

Wendy took an idea from Ty Lee's book and decided to smash the door down with her axe. As she was busting it down, some tall creature appeared from nowhere and made all their vision go black.

Then it slowly returned, and the door was open.

"What?" The Doctor said.

Nobody wanted to stay around long enough to comment on what had just happened.

Room 999 was a ridiculously long and wide hallway with chandeliers hanging above them.

One of them fell, trying to kill them. It missed though.

"That was a desperate move…" Mulder observed.

"She wants us dead." Lightning said.

"Obviously." Wendy muttered.

The five stood at the door to room one thousand. Lightning slowly reached forward, her wrist tightening around the knob. She slowly opened it, making a horrid creaking sound.

They entered room 1000. It was a simple room with a door that said EXIT on it.

Lightning walked up to the door. "It can't be this simple…"

She creaked the door open, revealing blue skies and green pastures. She could hear birds chirping. The five turned behind them. They had just exited a small shed.

Wendy whooped. "WE'RE OUT!"

Mulder sighed. "We could be anywhere. ANYWHERE."

Applejack looked around. "This ain't anywhere I've been before."

The Doctor pondered this. "It is possible that this is just as bad of a prison as the one we just left."

Lightning had an annoyed look on her face. She walked forward a few yards, and discovered a wall.

The sky was just painted on. Lightning knocked on the wall. A loud error noise filled the area, and the sky displayed a message:

 _VISTA SKY FATAL ERROR_

 _Fake_Sky_Screensaver has been disabled._

Spooky appeared in front of them, as the fake sky began to glitch out.

"Well…. you made it. Congratulations."

The Doctor took a step forward. "We beat your game Spooky. Now let us go."

Spooky sighed, twirling her knife. "You only won because there were lots of you. There has never been a group larger than three before…" She floated to the left. "I've got to figure out something…"

"We won. Let us go."

The other four readied themselves. Lightning put her hand to her chest, ready to cast whatever she could. Wendy hefted her axe. Applejack went into rainbow mode. Mulder drew his gun and cocked it.

The Doctor smiled. "We aren't going to let you play with us anymore. It's not going to happen. We will get out-"

They all heard a raspy noise, like wind blowing and voices from far away.

Spooky lit up. "Oh! Now you must pass one final test to prove your fortitude! or dedication… or whatever."

A door appeared in the fake sky.

Spooky twirled her knife, and floated through the wall.

"Final boss time?" Mulder muttered.

"Final boss time." Lightning said.

They went into the door, entering a room that was completely white. On one side was a hallway, on the other was a table. On the table was a radio. They heard a garbled voice.

" **I'm taking all those 'logs' they keep throwing out… ...and i'm nailing them together."**

The group slowly made its way away from the radio, anticipating an attack. They walked down a hallway, until they found a door labeled "731" They opened it, looking inside what appeared to be a dead end.

They heard a thump behind them. Springtrap had just entered the room, and he didn't look happy.

Then everyone's vision went fuzzy with images of ones, zeroes, and the TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO

All five of them, plus Springtrap, appeared in a room with no doors. In front of them was the floating red clay skull, specimen 9. They watched as bloody red pieces from seemingly nowhere attached themselves to the skull, causing it to grow in size and stature. A chest took shape, muscular clay arms, and sturdy legs. Before them floated a humanoid creature, made out of blood red clay. It stared at them with piercing eyes, completely silent.

Everyone's vision began to cloud. Blood dripped from the ceiling, dousing everyone. Numbers flooded their TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD

Lightning roared. "THUNDAJA!" A brilliant lighting ball expanded around the beast, enveloping it in paralytic shocks. It emerged, barely TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO raised its hands, firing streams of screaming souls at them. It bore a hole right in Mulder's chest, causing him to fall to the ground, DEAD TAKE THE DEAD TO.

Lightning screamed. "YOU PIECE OF S***" She reached into her chest. "ODIN!" She screamed, rage torquing her features. She summoned forth her eidolon, her guardian, Odin. He stood up, white porcelain skin lining his semi-mechanical appearance. Runes lined his body, and a strand of cloth around his head blew in the wind. He held a tremendous sword and a shield engraved with many ancient symbols. He stood at the ready, prepared to TAKE THE Lightning's orders. "We need to take this thing down!" She yelled. "Everyone!"

Applejack used a rainbow buck, followed by a rainbow hoof to face, smashing the being into the ground. Odin drove his sword into the chest, spraying chunks of clay everywhere. Lightning reached deep into herself. "ARMY OF ONE!" She yelled. She moved faster than ever before, striking her sword on the creature enough times for six people. She ended her combo with a zillion bullets fired from her gunblade, each with a different elemental attribute.

Specimen 9 was still standing, though it TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO gashes all over itself. Clay chunks dripped everywhere.

Blood lined the room, dripping everywhere. The being took control of the blood, causing shadowy hands to reach up out of the ground, TAKE THE DEAD at everyone.

The Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver. "You, are part machine. You are related directly to numbers. You are able to change computers. Therefore.." He flipped his sonic screwdriver to high, letting out a shrill noise. "This will shatter your mind."

For the first time since the start of the fight, specimen 9 indicated that it felt actual pain. 01100010011001010111010001110010011000010111100101100101011001000110001001111001011011010111100101100011011100100110010101100001011101000110111101110010 Odin, Lightning, and Applejack took the opportunity to smash it into the ground, where Wendy began to carve it with the axe.

The creature wasn't THE DEAD TO. It let out a burst of dark energy, blowing everyone back. Applejack's rainbow power vanished as her skull cracked on a wall, her blood mixing with that of the room.

Springtrap finally decided to move. As much as he wanted to kill the other visitors, this creature was a direct challenge to him. He charged, leaping into the air, smashing right into specimen 9's skull. Cracking could be heard. Specimen 9 looked right into Springtrap's eyes. Springtrap's head burst into TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN, and he fell to the ground, writhing in agony.

Specimen 9 turned to the Doctor and his screwdriver. Minions and shadow hands appeared all around the Doctor, and a spirit beam shot out of the ground. The Doctor's spirit was ripped from his body, thrown into the air.

The Doctor smirked. _Ah well, I'll just regenerate…_ TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD The Doctor's spirit paused. Wait. He wasn't regenerating… TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN Then he was gone.

Wendy and Lightning glanced around. This wasn't good. "ODIN! LET'S DO THIS!" Odin transformed into a horse, giving his blade to Lightning, which she split into two separate blades. They attacked Specimen 9 with a flurry of attacks, lightning pulsing everywhere. It was cut into a bunch of pieces, losing limbs. It roared, pushing back. Odin vanished, and Lightning's spine cracked when she hit the wall, paralyzing her lower body. She slumped.

Wendy brought her axe down on the creature's skull, severing it in half. 0110100101100011011000010110111001101110011011110111010001100010011001010111010001100001011010110110010101101110 It fell into a pile of red powder, making a horrible screaming and sizzling noise. Lightning let out a breath of relief.

Wendy fell to her knees, breathing hard. It was done.

Wendy felt a presence behind her. She turned to see Ty Lee standing over her with an axe.

"Stay dead this time for me will you b****?" Ty Lee brought the axe down, cutting deep into Wendy once again. Wendy slumped to the ground, leaking blood across the already bloody floor. Lightning decided to play dead.

Ty Lee smiled. "ALL GOOD!"

Spooky appeared. "Very well done! I think we have enough now!" She clapped her hands, and the walls of the room vanished, revealing the largest room of all, almost like an auditorium. In the center was a large screen with LION-DOS displayed on it. All around the LION-DOS stood spirits, ghosts, shadows, and even some of the specimens. Below the LION-DOS was a strange triangle-shaped device with a circle inside of it, and various consoles around it.

Spooky appeared on the screen. "The time has come my loyal troops! No longer shall we be called cute or adorable! For now, we are the most feared army in the world! It is time to invade!"

Cheering erupted from the army of ghosts around the LION-DOS. Spooky lifted her Bowie knife high in the air, glinting off the lights.

Then a triangle-shaped figure appeared in front of Spooky. "Terribly sorry, Crack, but I can't let you do any of that."

Spooky's eyes flashed red. "What do you want Bill?"

"Little Crack, I need Earth. I can't let you just waltz in with your army, now can I?"

She pointed her bowie knife at him. "You have no power here."

Bill laughed, his voice echoing over itself. "But that's where you're wrong! One of your DEAR visitors has brought about a crack in reality!" Bill raised his hands, showcasing an S shaped symbol. "And I can let part of myself in here through that!" He laughed once more. "Crack, I'm sorry but I can't have you invade Earth. _Yet._ "

"Yet?" Spooky questioned.

Lightning decided that Spooky was distracted. She reached towards her chest. "Curaja." She whispered, healing herself back to fighting condition.

Bill continued. "I have plans, but you will have your chance Crack. I guarantee it. Just be patient. It won't take more than a year."

Lightning whispered "Arise." Mulder, the Doctor, Wendy, and Applejack were revived, their wounds vanishing. They slowly got up. "What in hootenanny-"

Ty Lee heard them waking up. She opened her mouth for a battle cry. Lightning cast Sleep. Ty Lee's eyes rolled back into her skull and she flopped onto the ground.

"Why didn't you use that before?" Applejack questioned.

"Doesn't work on most monsters. Works on most humans, though."

Spooky continued her conversation with Bill. "Deal. I will collect more soldiers while we wait."

Mulder pointed at the circle-in-a-triangle device. "That looks like the only way out of here."

"We don't know what that is… If it even IS a way out of here!" Wendy said.

Lightning hefted her sword. "We don't have much of a choice. There's an entire army of ghosts here. We don't have time to look for something else. On three…"

Bill rolled his eye. "By the way, Crack?"

"Two…"

"What?" Spooky said, obviously in the mood for the conversation to be over.

"One…"

Bill pointed at the group. "Some of your soldiers are deserting."

"GO FOR IT!" Lightning yelled, leaping down towards the device. Mulder, Wendy, the Doctor, and Applejack followed, going as fast as they could. Applejack and Lightning were the fastest, the Doctor, Mulder, and Wendy close behind.

Spooky's eyes turned red with rage. "GET THEM!" She roared, pointing her knife.

The various ghosts took only a few seconds to react.

"You know what ghosts?" Lightning yelled. "I have a spell for you!" She reached into her chest. "HOLY!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, flinging out a tremendous white spark, twirling around with wisps of bright white energy, surrounding the five visitors. The ghosts screamed in pain at the bright light, backing away.

The specimens couldn't even make it in. The Beast had to cover his eyes, the Puppet couldn't move with this many eyes watching him, and Mother hated the light. Most of the other specimens were currently incapacitated.

That left just the jell-o creature and the bug. And they were too slow.

Bill laughed. "AHAHAHAHHAAH oh look at that! One simple spell, and your troops are useless! Oh yes! This is brilliant!"

Spooky glared at him. "I'm a cute ghost." She hefted her knife. "I'm fine." She charged right into the light, swinging her knife.

Lightning dodged out of the way, letting the knife contact the paved ground, causing blood to eject from the floor. "What kind of knife is that?"

"Extra bleeding." She yelled, coming back for another swing. To her surprise, Wendy blocked it with the axe. She pushed back, sending Spooky floating a few yards.

In the moment it took Spooky to get over her anger, they arrived at the device. One console had a message on it. "Place object on scanner."

In a moment of inspiration, Lightning took off Sisko's pin and placed it on the scanner. The

console displayed "searching…" for one moment, before flashing green. The circle inside the triangle lit up with blue energy, showing a picture of a room. Inside the room were other people in uniforms similar to that of Sisko, and they slowly turned their eyes to the newly formed portal, a look of bewilderment on their face.

Lightning turned to Mulder. "I'm going in. See you around."

Mulder gave her a thumbs up. "I hope you find your sister."

"Tell Lyre not to go too crazy okay?"

"Sure." Mulder said. "Now go before Spooky gets back at us-"

"TOO LATE!" She said, roaring.

Lightning moved towards the portal, shooting off a STOP spell, freezing Spooky in place. "You've got a few seconds. USE EM!"

Lightning jumped through the portal.

Applejack sighed. "I can't believe I'm doin this…" She galloped up to the portal and jumped in after Lightning. "Se y'all round!"

Mulder quickly placed his hand on the scanner, and the portal opened up to a new location. Right outside the mansion. It was still dark out.

The Doctor, Mulder, and Wendy charged through the portal.

Spooky unfroze just in time to see the portal close. She shrieked at the top of her lungs.

They were gone.

GONE.

She threw the knife into the ground, causing a blood fountain to erupt.

Bill's laughter filled the space.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"What IS your plan, Bill?"

"Q, you should know better than to ask me. Be satisfied knowing that I know my purpose, unlike you."

"It does not satisfy me. You know how curious I am about these things. And I know it involves Earth."

"Yes the home of your little pets. Do them a favor and don't get too attached to them. Their time, like all corporeal beings, is limited."

"There's more to it than that, Dorito, and you know it."

"I AM NOT A DORITO."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder, Wendy, and the Doctor landed on their faces, the energy portal closing behind them.

The three of them stood up, looking at the house before them. Lightning struck.

Mulder pointed his gun at the cross atop the building, and fired. The cross fell off, smashing into the ground. "That's better."  
The three of them took a breath. It was over. They were truly out.

The Doctor smiled. "Well, I best be off now. I've got things to deal with. Places to check. Times to visit." He waved. "I'll see you around."

Mulder and Wendy waved. "See you around." Mulder said. "Oh, one last thing-"

"No you may not see the inside of the TARDIS. Good day." With that, the Doctor left.

Wendy and Mulder looked at each other. "Well…" Wendy said. "Sorry for running from you, man."

"A lot of things would've been avoided…" Mulder muttered. "But we're good now. Wait till Scully hears about our adventures in Spooky's House of Jumpscares!"

The two broke out into laughter.

"You won't tell her anything." a voice behind them said, holding a strange gun-like device with a strange light bulb on top. "All will be forgotten."

Mulder and Wendy discovered that day what having their minds wiped felt like.

Course they forgot about it immediately afterward. It was one of the more interesting side effects of a mind wipe.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee scraped her axe along the floor as Spooky typed away on the LION-DOS.

"Be patient, Ty Lee. There will be more visitors."

"Good." She said. "I'm getting… twitchy."

Spooky smiled. The perfection of madness.

 _SPECIMEN_14_

 _Type: Active._

 _Fatalities: 5_

 _Method: axe_

 _Subject was recently one of the visitors to the house. Went insane as a combination of specimens 1, 5, and 8. Has been extremely effective against most subjects, and even specimens, but hasn't been around long enough to say for sure. Further study required._

Spooky pressed a button on the LION-DOS. The file was entered. She floated away. "Now…" She clapped her hands. "Time to reset the specimens…" She typed a bit more into the LION-DOS. She sighed. "It's always such a chore to get the specimens back… I am glad someone finally got rid of Eleven. He was useless. Though I guess we DO have a deal…"

She heard the portal activate again. She whirled her head around just in time to see a golden bunny step through it.

"WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING?" Then her rage vanished.

She looked at the portal.

An idea popped into her head.

She had it.

Why not USE it?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The TARDIS appeared inside a boarded up room inside the abandoned Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. The Doctor looked around. The room was basically empty except for a few arcade machines.

"Blast. He IS gone…"

Then a portal opened up beside the Doctor, revealing the horrifying face of Springtrap.

The Doctor broke out into laughter. "You.. returned to your prison? Hahahhaah… Oh that's brilliant!" Springtrap had escaped, only to go back to where he had come from! Priceless!

Springtrap reached out to strangle the Doctor. The Time Lord simply stepped back into the TARDIS, and left.

The Doctor smiled. Springtrap wasn't a problem. Lucky him.

Springtrap glared at the place where the TARDIS used to be.

 _I will become a problem._

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ford climbed through the hellish landscape that was… well basically hell given physical form. Demon like beings were everywhere, everything was red and hot, and there were just lots of ways to make a day suck.

He clutched his jPad. He had done this before.

He would do it again.

He rubbed his face, remembering the demon that had burnt him.

None of them would kill him. Many had tried.

He continued his journey.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"New troops! We will be moving out shortly to new and amazing worlds!"

The ghosts of Ba'al and Sisko glared at Spooky with needles.

Spooky smiled. She always loved breaking in new soldiers. "I guess we'll just have to take some time with you two… OH SPECIMEN SEVEN! I've got some people for you to torment!"

In a nearby room, The Cat sagged.

There was nothing she could do for them.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder flopped into the hotel room. Scully looked at him. "Where have you been?"  
"I… I don't remember." He stared ahead. "I feel like something extremely important has happened, and I can't remember it…"

Scully rolled her eyes. "Did you talk to Corduroy?"

"Oh yeah. I did find her… We had both forgotten… She knew nothing. Did you get anything?"

"Nope. Spent all day in a tourist trap. What about Lightning?"  
Mulder's eyes widened. "I… I don't know where she is…"

Scully blinked. "What?"

"She… she's not here. I don't know where she is! What happened?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Millions of light years away, Lightning came to. Applejack was on top of her.

Well at least she had a friend here. Lightning rubbed her eye.

She looked around.

She was in some kind of cell. Even though it looked open, she could tell that it was just a forcefield.

She felt her coat. The pin was gone. Meaning they took it.

Well, nothing to do right now but wait.

And get Applejack off her.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Spooky's House of Jumpscares stood atop the mountain, overlooking Gravity Falls. Silhouetted by the moon. Lightning struck, even though there were no clouds.

Spooky looked out from the topmost window.

 _One day…_ Spooky thought. _One day, this will be mine. They will learn to fear me._

 _They will learn to TRULY fear me. Regardless of what any dorito-shaped demon has to say._

The mansion bent and twisted, shifting into other universes, other realities, going off into infinity. The specimens patrolled their rooms, stalking around, looking for game. Sometimes fighting each other. All waiting for the next victims.

And waiting for the coming war.

It would come.

Soon.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

ORRN LQ WKH FKDSWHU, WKHUH DUH VHFUHWV DSOHQWB.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

2012

Friday, January 13

Spooky

THE END

"HEY! Why wasn't I in this episode? I'm everyone's favorite! I'm DEADPOOL! Come ON! This was epic and I'm not in it at ALL! No Ty Lee's reference does NOT COUNT. She's bat crazy! I should have been in! NO THIS DOES NOT COUNT EITHER! YOU ALREADY SAID THE END!"

Did you really think it was going to end seriously?

 **AN:**

 **GM- this is the most fun I've had writing in a LONG TIME. There was just so much to say, so much to do, so much to tweak just… GOOOGELY MOOGELY. This is by far the chapter I am most proud of. We all are. And even if a lot of ORBSyndicate is getting too busy to write too much, I'm still going to hold this story up till the very end. WOOOOT!**

 **Remember, we accept ideas and other things! January 14-17 are already written and will be published soon! SO MUCH PARTY!**

 **You hated me for the hiatus didn't you? Well I couldn't just publish a halloween special in SEPTEMBER now could I? Really. How dare you.**

 **Also I'm trying to find ways to stick more Gravity Falls in before the months of June July and August… CUZ THAT SHOW IS AWESOME.**

 **Anyway. Fun times ahead! January is just getting rolling…**

 **BR: BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL! Have a safe and fun Halloween everyone! (Though I don't personally celebrate it but whatever)**

 **TD: This crossover just got 20% cooler.**

 **Everyone Else: ^ … He just made that reference didn't he. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! DX**

 **TD: *Dons sunglasses***


	15. January 14: Invasions

**AN:**

 **GM- WE. NEED. MOAR. REVIEWS! COME! COOOOME REVIEW! PLZ. There's at least twenty five of you reading this. Reviews. Suggestions. Questions. We accept all! Plus we really need to get some feedback so we can improve our writing. We've got over three-hundred of these to write so yeah. Stuff.**

 **Anyway the aftermath of Jan 13: Invasions. How fun! :D**

 **Wait. TWENTY FIVE? WE HIT A MILESTONE WOOOT DE DOOOOOT! *rings bell rapidly* You guys need a reward.**

 **How about this. Review or PM us with a fandom/franchise you want to see. First person to come and suggest something (that isn't outrageous) will get that fandom featured before January 25th. (January 25th in-story.) It can be anything…**

 **Anyway thank you all! All twenty-five of you for bothering to read this! Please review! :D Next milestone: 50…**

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Saturday, January 14: Invasions

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning and Applejack had finally discovered the perfect pacing formation. They could both pace at the same time in the tiny cell without bumping into each other. It had taken much trial and error, but they had finally located the sweet timing. It was like a sweet spot, except all over the place.

Lightning rubbed her eyepatch. Under it, there was a streak of blood that had fused with her skin, looking like a long red tear stain. She had given up on rubbing it off hours ago. It was now a permanent part of her face. Probably a side effect of trying to heal a pierced eye.

"So…" Lightning muttered. "You ever come across these people in your travels?"

"I don't believe so…" Applejack responded.

"What DO we know about them?"

"That they're in the Andromeda Galaxy, that they're called the Terrans, that Sisko was one of them, and… well that's about it seeing as we came through the portal basically unconscious."

Lighting grunted. The only one she'd actually seen closely was the occasional guard. And they weren't in a chatty mood.

Lightning flexed her wrist, contemplating breaking out.

"Don't do what yer thinkin' of doing. We may be able to bust out a here, but we are in THEIR territory. They could probably nab us and they wouldn't be too happy bout us escapin."

Lightning sighed. "And I did promise Sisko I'd tell them what happened…"

"Let's just wait a while longer. I mean, we did arrive in the middle of the night-"

"It could be noon on their world."

"Good point."

At that point, two people walked in. A man and a woman. Neither were human, but both were humanoid.

"First, you are going to tell us who you are."

Lightning stared back. "Only if you return the favor."

"I am major Kira Nerys, current commander of Deep Space Nine. This is constable Odo." Odo just gave a short nod in acknowledgement.

"I'm Applejack, and this here is Lightning."

Odo humphed. "Those can't be your real names."

Applejack glared. "I'll have you know that it IS my real name, and you better like it!"

Lightning just rolled her eye.

"Now, secondly, tell us how you got to the station and what happened to Captain Sisko. You had his pin."

Lightning sighed. "There's no easy way to see this. We were all taken into some weird house of horrors to be 'harvested.' He gave me his starfleet pin, telling me to take it to you in case he didn't make it."

She took a breath. "He didn't make it. He was killed by an alien parasite that turned his body inside-out in front of the rest of us. Applejack and I came back here to tell you, rather than returning to where we came from like the others."

Applejack spoke up. "Actually I'm a bit of an explorer. I don't particularly care where I end up, I reckoned you could use a hand."

Kira looked thoughtful. "Where are you two from, originally?"

Applejack looked up. "Equestria, though I don't go back there often."

Lightning shrugged. "I'm originally from the world Gran Pulse, which is not in this galaxy." _No need to mention other universes… "_ Lately I've been on Earth, in the Milky Way galax-"

"EARTH?" Kira said, eyes widening. "That can't be true!"

Lightning squinted. "Why would you care about a planet called Earth? The place is relatively primitive! Not to mentio-"

Kira held up her hand. "We know about Earth, why we care or how you don't need to know. We're just surprised you came all the way from there."

Applejack snorted. "You're surprised about that? How about coming from a completely different universe? I was in the-" She stopped, seeing the look Lightning was giving her. "Uh…" Applejack facehoofed. "Oops."

Odo squinted. They could be telling the truth about the other universe thing. He suspected the pony wasn't a good liar.

Which probably meant Sisko really _had_ been killed. He sighed. "You should probably break it to his family…" He muttered to Kira.

Kira twitched. "We're not even entirely sure…"

"It seems most likely at this point. I will continue questioning them." He waved Kira away, before turning back to the two of them. "Now, let me get one thing straight." He fixed them with a stern gaze. "I'm going to be able to tell when you're lying, and most likely when you're hiding something. If you convince me that you mean no harm and really were just trying to give us a message, we will discuss letting you out and admitting you as a visitor. Otherwise, you will not get out of this cell."

Lightning fixed Odo with a glare. "I don't-"

Applejack nudged Lightning. "What she meant to say was that you have our full cooperation mister."

Odo chuckled. "Good. Now, your other universe story is corroborated by your datapad. Very interesting reading, I must say so. But it means I don't need any of those details. What I do want is every detail of what happened leading up to Sisko's death.

Lightning sighed. "I'm not a good storyteller-"

"I could care less. Tell me."

Lightning grunted, dipping deep into the tale of how she ended up in Gravity Falls and the dark tale of Spooky's house of Jumpscares. Applejack corroborated what information she could, jumping in to correct Lightning at many times.

One such time was:

"And then I used my blade."

"Um, Lightning? You used your magic."

Lightning slammed her head into the forcefield. "You know we could have NOT told them that…"

Odo raised his eyebrow. (well, where his eyebrow should've been) "Demonstrate this… 'magic.'"

Lightning sighed, reaching into her chest, and taking out the magic power. "Fire." She said, lighting her hand on fire. "There. See? Now that you know, let me observe the two things you are likely to do. You are likely to burn me as a witch and/or enemy of the state, _OR_ you'll want to use me in your military operations." She turned to Applejack. "There's a REASON we don't tell people everything!"

Applejack did that cute embarrassed face. It made Lightning's face twitch.

Odo folded his hands. "You will not be burned as a witch, and unless you do something stupid you will not be considered an enemy of the state. And seeing as you probably don't want to help us right now, our laws say we can't force you into service." He humphed. "Be glad you weren't taken in by those Colonials or those Cylons. They have no laws geared toward the treatment of people who are not of their own race." He began to walk back and forth. "Continue your story."

They did. They described in detail how Sisko deteriorated, and how Lightning's magic only reset his outer symptoms, not the parasite itself. They described the other visitors, the portal, the ghost army, spooky herself, and that triangle thing that confronted Spooky at the end. And, of course, how the starfleet pin allowed Lightning to set the portal to Sisko's home. And how Applejack followed.

"And THAT is what HAPPENED." Lightning said. "Any more questions, _constable?"_

Odo frowned. "Not right now." He stood up. "I'll be back in a few hours to tell you what we're going to do with you." He walked out, leaving the two in the room.

Lightning sighed. "Back to pacing?"

Applejack nodded. "Back to pacin'."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lampkin observed the "council" that had been formed around him, the President. There was Scorpius, D'anna, Cavil, Saul Tigh, and Admiral Picard.

They were his main advisors, as well as leaders to their respective factions. Most were both military leaders and excellent politicians.

Lampkin made a brief list in his head on how well he trusted them…

Admiral Picard seemed to be the most reliable, determined to do the right thing, while also taking into consideration the opinions of everyone involved he could talk to, not just his Starfleet. Lampkin felt rather bad for taking one of his books.

Next was Saul Tigh, a man Lampkin had known for a few years, though not particularly well. The eypatched old colonel had managed to become the voice for the Colonials, becoming the new Admiral Adama for all intents and purposes. Lampkin had taken the colonel's stash of whiskey. It would be best if the man stayed on his toes.

D'anna, cylon three, was the third most trustworthy. She actually desired to get along with all the other factions well, and made an active goal for unity. Though she was a bit mystical about destiny and all that. Lampkin could never really find anything to take form her.

Scorpius. Lampkin didn't like Scorpius, but he had to admire Scorpius's skills. The man was not only a military leader, but also a thoughtful and scheming man, much like Lampkin himself. Or, at least, Lampkin in his earlier, lawyer, days. Lampkin had taken numerous things from Scorpius, form Peacekeeper information pads to pieces that fell off his strange headset. Lampkin knew full well, however, that Scorpius wanted to seize power for himself, he just didn't see a safe way to do that yet. He was playing along for now, realizing that if he helped in the Galactic War going on he might get an important seat on a galactic government. That was enough motivation for him, at the moment.

Then there was Cavil. The cylon who didn't even pretend to want to get along with humans, but kept talking his brethren down so they didn't ignite a civil war. That was the last thing they needed right now. Lampkin, much to his annoyance, could not find anything of particular importance to steal from Cavil.

Lampkin rubbed his hands together. "Well, we're all here, let's hear what Major Kira has to tell us that was so important it had to be told to us directly."

Tigh grunted. "This better be good."

"The Major knows when something is important. This will be 'good,' colonel." Picard said.

D'anna nodded. "Information is always good."

Scorpius was silent. Cavil let out a huffing noise.

At that point, Major Kira walked in. "President, Admiral, Colonel, D'anna, Commander, Cavil…" She said, finding it annoying to use ranks and names mixed in a sentence. "As you may or may not be aware, yesterday Captain Benjamin Sisko and Lord Ba'al vanished from Deep Space Nine without a trace. Last night, two people returned where they vanished." She produced two pictures, one of Lightning and the other of Applejack. "They had quite the story. Since you are all busy, I will summarize the it. They were taken into a trans-dimensional house of horrors and forced to go through a game, like what Q does but much more sinister. Sisko did not make it back alive, but he tasked Lightning, the woman in the amethyst hair, to come back and tell us what happened."

Picard sat back in his chair. Sisko was dead. That… That was not the news he expected to her. Nor did he want to hear it.

And he knew Kira was affected by this much more than he was.

She managed to continue. "This, however, is not what I came to tell you about. It was merely the way we came across _this."_ She produced a thin data-pad, marked with a strange H emblem with seven dots. "This was on Lightning. She says she got it from a people known as the Hoseki. It details tons of information about the multiverse, worlds within the multiverse, and the state of many major powers within the Milky Way galaxy, and even outside of it." She provided "After we learned Lightning had been on Earth, yes I'm talking about _our_ Earth, we checked the pad for it." She tapped the pad with many fingers. "The date really is 2012, but this Earth is not the Earth we know. They are in contact with many alien races, have a spaceship, and are part of a multiversal alliance." She brought up several holographic displays of Earth, their allies, and their ship. "And the general population of Earth has no idea that they are extremely involved in galactic affairs." She sighed. "They, and their allies, are also at war with a race known as the Goa'uld. And-"

Cavil cut in. "I'm sorry, I see how this concerns Picard over there, him wanting to go back to his precious home, but what about the _rest_ of us?"

Scorpius glared. "The knowledge of a major multiversal alliance is important, Cavil. We know they exist, and can perhaps contact them, gaining an ally. Or not be surprised when, or if, they attack."

Cavil folded his arms. "We still don't need all this information about Earth."

Lampkin nodded. "Of course. Major, please consider your audience."

Kira sighed. "Yes mister President." She brought up more holograms. "This pad has so much information, we will be spending weeks going over it."

Cortana's hologram appeared from the pad. "Done reading!"

Kira blinked. That was impossibly fast.

"Thank you Cortana." Picard said. "Now, what have you discovered?"

"A lot of things. What are the highlights… um… In a few weeks a convoy of ships will be arriving in our galaxy, that there are these people known as the Hoseki who constructed their own multiple-star system in another reality, that there are humans spread out everywhere across the multiverse, and… well basically just a ton of information. I'm highlighting it as we speak. Aside from the visitors we should expect in a few weeks, most of this information will only help us if we make it to the Milky Way galaxy. However…" She caused the info pad to produce more holograms, showing various ships, technical designs, and the like. "The pad describes many types of technology, not in technical detail, but in enough detail that I believe our scientists could create some of them. The technologies that are described, however, are not military technology, or even their dimensional drive. They do not explain _how_ they locate a micro singularity… Sorry. Too technical." She took a breath. "Basically we have knowledge now of the nature of the multiverse, a multiversal civilization, and some possible technologies. This is big. I will send this to our allies immediately."

"Are we sure that's a good idea?" Cavil interjected. "They don't need to-"

Picard interrupted. "We made a full agreement with them. We share technology. This is something we found. We give it to them. Cortana, send it to them. See what they make of it."

"Of course, Admiral."

"Now." Picard said, turning to Kira. "We need to let those two go, we can't keep them forever. But we also have a problem."

Tigh nodded. "They know about Terra. They might be able to tell the Empire where we are."

"The answer is simple." Scorpius said. "I would kill them, but I suspect you won't do that. Instead, just keep them from leaving the planet. Let them have complete freedom, or as much freedom as a citizen of Terra, but tell them they can't leave. And make sure they don't leave."

"At least until the war is over." D'anna said.

"Of course. They won't be able to give away any important secrets then."

Lampkin nodded. "Of course. Now, Kira, show yourself out. We have military plans to discuss."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Darth Vader couldn't believe what he was looking at.

It was a black pill-shaped stasis pod. One made decades ago.

And he recognized the person inside.

She was a Togruta female, with the signature orange skin and signature head-tails that took place of hair. Her particular tails were blue and white, with a few zig-zag designs. She was wearing a brown wrapped, presumably leather, outfit, and her forehead had a diamond-and-zigzag white design on it. At her side were two lightsabers.

Darth Vader wasn't sure what he felt about this. He hadn't seen Ahsoka in decades. She had just disappeared off the face of the galaxy one day.

And here she was, in a stasis pod, floating at the edge of the galaxy.

He had no clue WHY. He had no clue WHAT he was going to do either.

The Emperor didn't know. Yet. Vader planned to keep it that way for the moment.

He shouldn't revive her. He _should_ eject her back into space and then blow her up. Or, if he was feeling nice, just launch her into space and not have to deal with her. He really really really shouldn't wake her up.

Vader's body wasn't listening to a thing his mind was saying. He walked up to the control console on the pod, and pressed a few buttons. The capsule flipped open, and Ahsoka fell onto the ground. Vader used the force to quickly take her lightsabers away, storing them next to his own. He stood overtop her, looking down.

She slowly woke up. "Ugh…" Her body twitched.

Ahsoka sensed a major disturbance in the force right next to her. It was dark and evil, much like the sith she had encountered. However, it seemed… familiar, somehow.

She stood up quickly, using the force, getting into a standing defensive position. She took in her surroundings.

The walls were grey, there was her stasis pod, and standing next to her was a… thing. In a black suit.

It looked at her. "I am Darth Vader." He leered closer. "And you will cooperate if you want to live."

Ahsoka reached for her sabers. "I don't think so-" Then she realized they were gone. "D*****"

"Come." Vader said. "You have been in there far too long."

"How the heck do you know how long I've been in there?"

"I have my ways."

He handed her a clone trooper uniform.

"What is this?"

"Get in it. You can't be seen."

"Why not?"

"You are a jedi. The Emperor wants all of you eradicated."

Ahsoka squinted. "You are a sith. Isn't that your job as well?"

Vader paused. "Yes. Yes it is."

"Why aren't you killing me then?"

Vader didn't really know himself. But he gave what he hoped sounded like a reasonable answer. "You could be useful."

Ahsoka looked around for a way to escape.

"Put the armor on. If anyone sees you without it, you will be killed."

She put her hands on her hips. "And why on earth would I trust you, sith scum?"

Vader had forgotten how stubborn his padawan could be. "You don't have any reason. But I haven't killed you. So you could come with me, a powerful sith who doesn't want to kill you for whatever reason, or you could try your chances getting off an imperial star destroyer without being seen or detected. I seriously doubt you even know the LAYOUT of an imperial star destroyer."

Ahsoka glared at the dark person in front of her, but she did put on the clone trooper armor.

"Come." He waved, leading her down the hallways of the star destroyer, walking through lots of clone trooper patrols, all of them pausing to either tremble in fear from Vader or look at him with respect. Or both.

He led her into a room. "You may stay here. The door will be locked. I would not recommend trying to escape. I will stop by later. I have business to attend to."

Ahsoka blinked as the door shut and locked. She looked around at the room. It wasn't a prison room, that was obvious. It appeared to be some basic quarters.

She instantly tried to pry the doors open. She then tried to force the doors open using the force. That didn't work.

She smashed the door controls, and the door flew open. Vader was standing in the hallway.

"I said don't try to escape." He forced the doors shut by using the force, then folded the metal together.

She wasn't going anywhere.

Ahsoka yelled and pounded on the door for a few minutes as Vader walked off.

She tried the vents later, only to find an automatically sealing door with a note written on it:

 _Nice try._

She really hated Darth Vader. Whoever he was.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Yoda sat back, watching Luke talk to the two girls with the Force within them. The first was Kara. The other was Luke's sister, Leia.

"Okay…" Luke said, scratching the back of his head. "Have either of you tapped into a strange power before?"

Leia shook her head. "Nope. Nothing at all."

Kara nodded. "I pushed back an enemy. With my MIND."

Yoda pondered this. People this old were generally not trained in the way of the Force. Usually it was children.

Unfortunately they did not have the luxury of time. The first of the new jedi would have to be trained as adults.

He watched as Luke showed the two girls basic moves, trying to gauge their abilities. The Force was exceptionally strong within Kara, just waiting to come out. Leia had a fair ammount herself, but not so much that it would come out easily. She'd have to work for a while.

Then Yoda heard a voice, one that sounded like a young woman. _Can I come in?_

Yoda's ears perked. That voice had come directly into his head.

 _Little one, clever trick. Come to learn, you have?_

 _I think so. I want to learn about this new thing. This Force._

 _Little one, then come._

Yoda was mildly surprised to see her drop from the ceiling. "Hi! I'm River!" She twirled her black hair around. "What are we doing?"

Luke turned around and blinked. "This is a private training session, how did you-"

"Told her to come in, I did. Learned how to talk without speaking, she has."

River beamed.

Luke blinked. He hadn't even figured that out yet. "Well… River… what else can you do?"

She clapped her hands. "Yesterday, I pushed a box over by thinking! And I took down several hundred reapers a few weeks ago!"

Luke blinked. She had said it all so innocently.

River turned to Kara, and pushed into her mind. _Hi. We can get along right?_

Kara nodded slowly.

Luke clapped his hands. "Looks like we have a new student. Now, let's just test your grasp of the Force everyone. See if you know anything already."

He set up a stack of boxes, a giant box on the bottom, and each box getting increasingly smaller till the one at the top, which was the size of a grape.

"Where did you find that box?" Kara asked.

"In the box room." Luke asked, like there was no further explanation needed. "Leia, why don't you go first?"

Leia adjusted her hair loops, looking unsure. "So.. what do I do?"

"Just envision the Force within any of the boxes, and imagine it moving."

Leia took a breath, closing her eyes, and putting her hand out. She pointed her finger at the smallest box.

It twitched.

Leia clapped. "I did it!"

Luke nodded. She could learn. "Kara?"

Kara stepped forth. She had only done this once before, and she was under a lot of stress. So it was probably stronger with a heightened emotional state. She tried to find some of the anger within herself, her desire to live. She pushed forth.

The top box went flying, taking the one beneath it as well. She whooped.

Luke raised an eyebrow. He wasn't expecting that much progress. Interesting.

"When do I get one of the fancy glowing swords?" She asked.

"You will make your own." Luke said. "You're surprisingly good already…"

Yoda spoke up. "Careful, you should be. Turn to the dark side easily, anger will."

"What?" Kara said, cocking her head.

Luke sighed. "If you use your anger as a way to access the Force, the dark side of it has an easier opening. It can corrupt your thinking, and turn your brain towards evil." He looked closer at her. "I don't think you've tapped into enough of the Force yet for that to be a problem though."

Kara nodded. "I understand." Keep anger in check. That… might become a problem.

"I suggest practicing your already amazing skills without trying to get angry." He turned to River. "Let's see what-" His jaw dropped.

River was holding her hand in the air, arranging the small boxes back on top of the stack with the Force. After the stack was reset, she pushed her hands gently forward, sending the entire stack flying. She clapped her hands and grinned. "Yay!"

Yoda blinked. "Training, you don't need. Not in skills, at least." He stood up. "Understand, I do not. Almost complete mastery of the Force, you already have. Teach you the ways of the jedi, I will now."

Luke stared at the stack of boxes. He whistled. "She just needs to be trained in lightsabers now…"

"See what she can do, we shall." Yoda gave Luke his short blade lightsaber. "Give her yours."

Luke shrugged, tossing his saber to River. "Okay, so River, in this fight we will not be using any Force abilities, just our lightsabers. Let's see what you've got. Go."

The Lightsabers clashed once, River used the friction between the blades to launch herself overtop Luke, swirling around and holding her short green blade to Luke's neck. "Fun!" She said.

Luke blinked. "Holy…"

Yoda clapped. "All the skills, she has. The ways of the jedi, she must learn. Take her, I shall." Yoda waved.

River thought to Yoda. _When will I get my own sword?_

 _Make your own, you will._

The next thought that came from river was so technical in nature that Yoda had a hard time deciphering it. _Do that, how do you?_

 _I'm not… normal. I was experimented on._ A mental giggle followed this. _I can visualize just about anything… I'll ask Simon for the parts._

Yoda nodded. _Until then, come with me to learn of the jedi, you will._

 _Okay!_

Luke turned back to Kara and Leia. "So… let's practice meditation!"

Kara groaned.

Leia was still giggling to herself that Luke had been beaten by a girl so quickly.

A few minutes later, Luke received a call. He picked up his cellphone like device. "Hello?"

"Yeah Luke." the voice at the other end said. "The Terrans want you to come to one of their worlds and check something out for them. They've set up a rendezvous."

"I've always wanted to see one of their worlds… I'll be there shortly."

He turned to Kara and Leia. "Well, looks like we're going on a road trip. Come on, I'll teach you how to fashion a lightsaber on the way."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Emperor growled. "HOW DARE THEY!"

"They are just offering assistance, sir." The soldier said, shaking in his boots.

"Those Covenant SCUM." The Emperor roared. "How did they hear about the Replicators?"

"It's not hard to pick up hundreds of public distress beacons, many of which describe them, sir."

The Emperor pulled his hands into fists. "Refuse their offer. Now. What else have we to discuss?"

"The Replicator war has not been going well. Virtually all of our weapons are ineffective. It has been discovered that ballistic weapons work and the bugs don't seem to be able to adapt to them. As of now, they have never been able to survive a concentrated laser fire that literally melts them, meaning the Death Star will be more than effective enough. However, we do not have enough of that level of weaponry, _and_ our physical weapons are not large enough to do significant damage to their ships. The Covenant weapons probably wouldn't fare much better. We have scientists working hard at creating more weapons, but we will not have the resources to build enough of the weapons. Mainly because the Replicators are targeting worlds rich in resources."

"If they just wanted resources, why are they attacking us?" The Emperor asked.

"Technology, my lord. They can replicate our technology. Many reports have come in of the larger Replicators using seemingly improved versions of our own weapons, personal shields, and laser weapons. They also can make Replicator Cells out of virtually any material. We found Replicator seemingly constructed by a hyperconductive fluid. We still don't know how it maintained relative cohesion."

The Emperor frowned. "What about Vader?"

"He has been relatively successful in using his powers to destroy Replicators, and they don't seem to be able to adapt to the lightsaber. However, there are materials that are force and lightsaber resistant, and there have been several confirmed reports of Replicators with those properties." The man sighed. "I don't see how we can beat them."

The Emperor rose. "We will prevail. Get your scientists to work. Don't let them cease. We will find out how these machines work, and we will erase them from the fabric of the universe. Secondarily, we need the Death Star completed as fast as possible. Tell me, how effective would the Death Star be?"

"It is our one weapon we are relatively sure can't be stopped. The materials that would be resistant to the death ray are in small quantity. Firing the ray at any Replicator-infested planet would wipe them out. However, any ships would easily dodge the slow beam."

The Emperor put a hand to his chin. He thought deeply. Their technology was failing them. Their enemy was extremely intelligent and adaptable. And because of their mechanical nature, were immune to any sort of massive Force manipulation.

He stopped that thought. Sure, they were mechanical. But together, they exerted pressure on the Force, creating a unique disturbance. They worked together, almost as one mind.

He growled inwardly. There was no way he could gather enough power to affect all the Replicators at once. They were spread out across the galaxy. Acting as one.

Then it hit him.

"They must be communicating with each other to be able to coordinate anything."

"Yes, my lord?"

"What if we could jam them."

The soldier's eyes widened. "That… that could work…" Then he shook his head. "But it wouldn't. We could only disrupt maybe one planet at a time. As soon as we jam them, the other Replicators will know they have a weakness and will fix it."

The Emperor nodded. "We would need a truly immense broadcasting device…"

"The Death Star is our largest construction, my lord, and even it wouldn't be big enough for galaxy-wide coverage."

The Emperor was silent. "What about the Forerunners?"

The soldier blinked. "My lord, we don-"

"I know you are an expert on anything. Is there anything that the Forerunners might have left behind that could do such a thing?"

The soldier bit his lip. "Well… The Halo rings of legend wouldn't work in this case but… According to Covenant legend, there was something called the Discus of Worlds, a device that could send a message anywhere…"

"There. We must find it."

"B-b-but… My lord… the Covenant won't take lightly to us using one of their holy artifacts-"

"Would you rather fight a war you can't win, or one you can?"

"P-point taken, my lord…"

"Now, SOLDIER." The emperor said, whirling around. "Unless you can tell me more information right this instant, you are a dead man."

The soldier gulped. Of course. Never talk back to the Emperor. "Archeologists have placed the Discus of Worlds somewhere in the Barren Sectors. We have no idea where."

The Emperor raised his eyebrows. "Why aren't the Covenant all over the Barren Sectors, looking for it?"

"Because they believe that the Discus of Worlds will call for them when it's ready to be found."

The Emperor rolled his eyes. Strange beliefs.

"That was some good information there."

The soldier smiled. "Really?"

"Yes." The Emperor raised a hand, choking the soldier with the Force. "But I haven't had the chance to personally execute a subordinate in a while. Goodbye."

The soldier's neck snapped, and he fell to the floor with a crunch.

The Emperor turned around. He did not like having to rely on legends, but he would have to.

He would instruct Vader to take a star destroyer into the barren sectors.

Oh, and he had to personally send the order to keep up production since the man was dead.

How annoying.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"And on the day the galaxy faces great peril, the holy Discus of Worlds, the source of order and unity for the Forerunners, will call out, calling the servants. They will use it to rid the galaxy of the threat." The Prophet of Passion closed the ancient book, turning to point at a nearby screen with his wrinkled alien finger. His long neck turned back to his audience, a group of various races of aliens all allied under the Covenant. His tiny face smirked, his prophet hat glinting. "We are being called. We have been watching and waiting for this signal for thousands of years. Even the Covenant of Old was waiting for the call. And now it is here."

He folded his hands. "The Replicators are advancing fast, and will sooner or later come into our borders. No doubt they are the great peril we have been tasked with removing." He raised his hand. "We will send a convoy to it, to complete our mission!" He smiled. "But we won't activate it right away. No, we will wait for the pathetic Empire to beg us to solve their problem." This resulted in a _lot_ of cheering from his audience. "We will, at long last, exact revenge on the humans, and the Sangheili for what they did to us all those centuries ago. We will form a true Covenant, and become what the Forerunners desired us to be." He stopped, waving his hand, indicating that they should get going.

He grinned to himself. Their time was at hand.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Luke, Kara, and Leia were in the back of the Millennium Falcon. R2D2 and C3PO were talking in the corner, while Han and Chewbacca were in the cockpit.

Luke turned to Kara. "So, what can you tell me about where we're going?"

Kara shrugged. "Here's the long and short of it; Terra is the world all of us found. None of us really had a home, seeing as we all just got torn from them or had them destroyed. We formed an alliance to find a home together, and here we are. Tah-da, a bunch of random people slapped onto a random planet."

"One planet?" Luke said, confused. "I thought you-"

Kara blinked. "Oh. Oops. Probably wasn't supposed to tell you guys that. Don't go announcing that fact everywhere, apparently we don't want to seem weak."

Luke raised an eyebrow. They only had one planet? That put them in a very dangerous position.

"Why would you pledge yourselves to us if you were in that weak of a position?"

Kara shrugged. "I think it's BECAUSE we are in that weak position. We needed an ally, and a strong position. Our single planet can't stand to a lot of beating." She sighed. "We only have a handful of ships with true military capability." She started listing them of. "Let's see… Galactica, the Command Carrier, Enterprise, Voyager, Defiant, Talyn, the five cylon Basestars we have… That number may have gone up… and everything else is just rudimentary from a military standpoint."

Luke sighed. "You really did need allies…"

"Yeah. Yeah we did." She turned around. "Hopefully we can build some more, but we probably couldn't churn out more than one before the Replicators decide to eat the galaxy." She absent-mindedly touched her gun. "I can't wait to have a round two with those bugs…"

Han yelled back at them. "Hey guys! There's that ship you were talking about! The Defiant!"

Luke waved to Leia and Kara. "Let's go. They want us to check out some people."

Kara facepalmed. "They can just beam us up."

"Oh." Luke said, feeling sheepish. "I knew that…"

Leia giggled. She waved to Han. He waved back. "Now come back to me you here? It'll get terribly lonely without you!"

Leia smiled. "Same."

"What about me?" Luke asked.  
"You? Well without you life would be a lot more boring." Han laughed. "Though I think that having a little boring for a while would be nice."

Luke rolled his eyes.

Kara called in. "Three to beam up!"

The three were transported to the Defiant. Odo met them. "Welcome to the Defiant. Come with me, I will instruct you on what we are doing."

Luke blinked. "Why? I'm here to read for the Force, and-"

"Yes but we'll be taking you to Terra and we will not let you know it's location."

Luke blinked again. "But I could've sworn I was supposed to read you-"

"Why?" Odo humphed.

"The Force is in you. Quite a bit of it."

Odo sighed. "Forget whatever you're thinking. I'm the security chief on Deep Space Nine. I'm not going away just so you can train me."

Luke squinted. "You have the potential to bec-"

"I don't want to hear it. You're coming to Terra to read our people. Some may want to receive training, some may not. I do NOT." He glared. "I am not devoting my life to become a monk."

Kara growled. "DO I LOOK LIKE A MONK?"

"No. Perhaps you aren't monks, but it does take a lot of devotion does it not?"

Luke sighed. "Fine. I will want to test your abilities at some point though."

"I'm a Founder, a Changeling. I can change my shape however I wish. And that is not some Force power, it is the natural ability of my race."

Luke sighed. He was going to figure out what this Odo person could do.

"You will be here to read two individuals who came into our possession through a transdimensional portal. One in particular, who uses something she calls magic. We want you to see what she has. In addition, you will be allowed to enter the Metropolis to search for other Force adepts in order to help the Rebellion. You will not be allowed to do anything without asking me first." He glared. "I think this is a bad idea. But I'm not the one in charge of these decisions."

Kara rolled her eyes. "You're full of sunshine and smiles you know that?"

"I've been told so." Odo deadpanned. Kara wasn't sure what to make of that.

The Defiant jumped to warp, heading towards Terra.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Rainbow Dash was barely able to walk. Her muzzle was bound, her wings clasped to her body with a giant metallic ring. It was chafing, bad. She was being dragged along, a rope yanking her collar. She could still feel the burn of the Caprica symbol on her neck.

"Now listen here." Baltar said. "I can free you, I can even get you treated better, if you'll only co-operate."

Rainbow Dash glared at him with all the hate she could muster, which was still a surprisingly large amount. If her muzzle hadn't been bound, she would have shared a very particular choice word with him.

"I Guess not then…" He sighed. "Just get on stage and don't try anything funny."

Baltar dragged Rainbow Dash up to the stage. He looked at Caprica, exchanging a nod.

"My people! We have before you one of the foreign beasts that are invading our homes! These people have never been visited by God, never been given the salvation we have. They are hopeless causes, doomed to be destroyed." He paused. "They will try to corrupt our ideals, invade our homes, and destroy our unity. We must drive them out together!"

The crowd roared. Baltar was surprised to actually see a few Peacekeepers in the midst. Wasn't their commander a non-human? Or Sebacian. Or whatever they called themselves.

"We will sway everyone to our cause! We will put these other beasts to good use! They may not have salvation, but they can help us! We can use their abilities ourselves, we can-"

Rainbow Dash had had enough. She reached into herself, powering up. She began to glow, her mane and tail growing out, bristling with electric power. Her wings burst out of their binding, flashing all the colors of the rainbow. She broke her chain, rejuvenated with power. The Rainbow Power had activated.

"SEE YA LOSERS!" She yelled as she flew into the air. "OH AND BALTAR? BUCK YOU!" She took off, going straight up.

She was surprised to see what appeared to be Caprica standing in midair in front of her.

"Oh you wanna try to fight me? You wanna try?"

Caprica waved her hand. "You have a surprising amount of power within you little pony. But God cannot have you making our prophet look like a fool. It's time for a miracle."

Something invisible hit Rainbow Dash, sending her downward. She growled, rainbow energy sparking off the edges of her limbs. "No fair!"

"Miracles are never fair."

Spirit Caprica touched Rainbow Dash, draining the power of Rainbows. The Spirit furrowed her metaphysical brow. This was a vast amount of power. She had been told no physical being with this much power existed within this universe. She actually _recoiled._ But only for a moment. It was enough power to affect her, but she was still a minor deity. She used a bit more power, slamming Rainbow Dash into the ground. The pegasus lost her rainbows, laying there on the ground, barely breathing.

Baltar blinked. He began to think, once more, if this was really necessary.

Spirit Baltar appeared behind him, tapping his brain. "You have to do this." He showed Baltar images of grotesque aliens in the Metropolis, running through the streets. People dying. Buildings being destroyed. "This is what they do." He said, forcing the images deep into his mind. "You must stop them."

Baltar stood back, panting. "I have just had a vision!" He declared. "The aliens, if we allow them to continue, will destroy our new home!" He grabbed a shovel. "Let's drive them out. NOW."

He barely noticed that this rage was quite unlike him. He barely noticed that he'd never had this many followers before. He barely noticed that many of the people who wouldn't be violent, had become violent.

Behind them, Spirit Baltar and Spirit Caprica smiled. This was going well.

Deep in the bowels of Terra, "God" smirked. His awakening was at hand.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Odo led the jedi through the Metropolis. "She should be around here…"

Kara leaned in. "Tell me, why don't you know exactly where she is?"

Odo glared. "We couldn't keep her in custody any longer. We didn't have any reason to."

Kara shrugged. "You think that MAYBE you should keep an eye on her?"

"We are. And she knows it. She thinks it a fun game to avoid us." He pointed. "There."

Lightning was riding Applejack away from an angry mob.

Odo facepalmed. "What did you DO?"

The two of them turned to glare. "I HAVE NO IDEA."

One of the members of the mob fired a weapon, launching a bullet into Odo. Being a changeling, the bullet went right through him and he was unaffected. He sighed. He used his pin. "Need crowd control here." He drew his phaser, turning to the jedi. "Don't kill any of them."

Kara put her guns away. "Then what the frak am I supposed to do?"

Luke stepped forward. "Use the Force." Luke pushed forward, knocking a dozen of the mob members down. However, that was only a tiny portion of the mob.

Kara found it within herself to knock one mob member at a time, and Odo's phaser stunned people left and right.

But there were hundreds of them. They slowly began to surge past Odo and the jedi, some bothering to stop and attack Odo. (Which did next to nothing.) Most were steadfast on going after Lightning and Applejack.

"I reckon we're gonna havta defend ourselves…"

Lightning nodded, leaping off Applejack. "BLIZZAGA" Ice shot forth from her hands, creating pillars of the shining substance, cutting the mob off from her.

"WITCH!" The mob screamed. "HOW DARE YOU DEFEND THE ALIEN?"

Lightning jumped to the top of the ice wall, glaring at the mob. "Stop this. I hope you realize that lots of you owe your lives to "aliens.""

"YOU WILL SERVE US!"

Lightning blinked. This… wasn't right. Something was very wrong here.

Odo noticed it too. People didn't act like this. Sure, there was tension in the air, but even Baltar's little speeches had never drawn this much of a following. Some of these people looked like they had just been picked up on the way…

There was even a little kid screaming bloody murder.

What was wrong with everyone?

Then the alarms started to blare.

Odo's eyes widened. That wasn't the noise for an internal emergency. That was the external emergency tone.

The city was being attacked.

In this moment of distraction, Odo didn't notice that one of the members of the mob had a starfleet phaser. The intense laser beam made contact with his leg. The resulting effect was his leg blowing up, and the rest of his body losing all cohesion and falling to the ground in a puddle.

Applejack took out a lasso and roped Luke, Leia, and Kara onto the ice. "Y'all need to calm down!"

"They're being compelled." Luke said. "Something is in their heads." He turned to Lightning. "You wouldn-"

Then he stopped. He hadn't bothered to look at Lightning's Force signature until right at that moment.

She didn't have one.

Even more terrifying, was that she seemed to be actively pushing the Force AWAY from herself.

That didn't make any sense. All life, heck all matter, required the Force to exist. At least as far as he knew.

"What?" Lightning grunted, snapping him out of it. "What are you lookin at me like that for?"

Luke shrugged. "Your Force signature seemed a little off." He shrugged. "It just startled me." _Startled me! HA! She's an abomination against nature..._

"Whatever." She turned down to the mob. "Looks like we're stuck up here."

A phaser blast shot past her. Lightning cast Protect and Shell on everyone. Repeatedly. "Now. Anyone have any ideas on how to get these people to calm down?"

Leia frowned. "Perhaps a speech?"

"Go right ahead and try it, princess." Lightning had intended the term to be derogatory, but seeing as Leia WAS a princess, it had no effect. She stood up, turning towards the mob.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

There was a guard on the outside of the Metropolis. He was sitting next to one of the automated defense turrets. The square weapon sat atop a large tripod, slowly swiveling left and right, looking for hostile targets. Since he was on lunch, he had turned his com off.

This guard, whose name is not important in any way (perhaps you can guess why) was surprised to hear the a strange BYEEOOOOM sound. It took him a few moments to realize that it was the turret firing its big red laser.

He turned to look at what it had hit.

There appeared to be a large mammoth-like creature laying down, rather effectively singed. It had what appeared to be the remains of a saddle on it.

The turret fired again, causing the guard to look further into the distance. There were more mammoth creatures, stampeding towards him. Each of them had a dark-skinned tribal humanoid on top, with weapons.

There sure were a lot of them.

But the turret was making quick work of them. It was what it was designed to do, after all.

Then he heard an explosion to his left. He turned, seeing smoke rise up in the distance. A second later, a green light shot from the sky (presumably from orbit) making another explosion. A second later, another explosion.

They seemed to be getting closer.

He put his fist into his palm, smiling. He had it! The green things were from an orbital weapon that was picking off the defense turrets!

He died with a smile on his face.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"LAUNCH VIPERS!" Colonel Tigh yelled. "Take those b******* down!"

Dozens of vipers launched from the Galacitca's bay, circling towards the strange purple ships that had appeared in the system and started bombing the surface within a minute. Galactica itself began firing its larger weapons, impacting the shields of the lead craft. There was no visible effect.

Saul grunted. He really needed to get a shield scanner on his ship.

The three purple ships paid them no mind, releasing their own fighters, which instantly headed towards the surface of Terra. The vipers were ordered to intercept.

Unlike their larger counterparts, the smaller purple ships were at least visibly affected by the bullets, some even exploding. The viper pilots whooped as their kill count went up.

Then, the bigger ships, confident that they had destroyed the ground defenses, turned on the vipers. Three were destroyed with the first volley.

"Get between our vipers and the ships!" Saul yelled.

"Sir? Moya already appears to be doing that."

On Moya, Pilot yelled. "Shields are holding!"

John grinned. "YES! I LOVE improvements!"

"At thirty percent!"

"D***." John muttered. "Get us out of here! ...again."

D'argo growled. "We need to have a moment where we aren't helpless ducks in a space battle."

"We need weapons."

As if mocking them, Talyn flew across the viewer blasting several of the little ships to pieces.

John sighed. "Tell Zan I'm going to need help relaxing."

"Of course."

At that moment, the Command Carrier appeared, dwarfing the purple ships. The Enterprise and Defiant were close behind.

Scorpius grinned. "Finally." He muttered. "Kill them."

The Federation ships' phasers and torpedoes were quickly drowned out by the massive amount of fire coming from the Command Carrier. Dozens of weapons fired, a mix of both physical and plasma weapons, impacting the shields of all three purple ships at once. While the individual weapons were not as powerful (nor as precise) as the Federation weapons, there were many more of them. The purple ships were taken care of in a matter of minutes.

"About time you showed up!" Tigh yelled over the com.

Scorpius grinned. "As much as I appreciate your thanks, we still have the small ships to deal with. Launching fighters."

Dozens of black, angular fighters shot out of the Command Carrier. The Prowlers intercepted the small ships, destroying them before they even had a chance to get close to the surface. Only a few were able to launch escape pods.

The battle was over, with minimum casualties as well.

Then Picard took control of the comm. "We've got a situation on the surface! The tribal peoples are attacking!"

Scorpius snorted. "Why is that a problem?"

"The enemy ships took out virtually all the defense turrets!"

Everyone was silent for a second.

This had to be planned. But how. And WHY? And by who?

They quickly recovered.

"PROWLERS! TO THE SURFACE!"

"VIPERS! TO THE SURFACE!"

Picard just sat back. Federation ships didn't have fighters, and didn't hold soldiers…

He blinked. "Contact the Cylon basestars. Tell them we could use the Centurions. We will beam them down to the surface for them."

A few moments later, they received the green light.

"Make it so."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Leia looked curiously at the bruise she had gotten on her arm. "That was a BULLET?"

Lightning nodded. "You're welcome for the Protect spell, by the way."

"Spell?" Luke asked. "Is that some kind of Force ability?"

"I don't know. It's magic. I was cursed, and now I can draw magic from my mark." She pointed to her chest, where the mark presumably was. "I don't know how it works."

Kara rolled her eyes. "You're a strange one…" She turned to Applejack. "Wait. Nevermind. You're the strange one."

They looked out at the mob.

Lightning growled. "Too many to sleep… and Haste won't help if there's no way to get out... " She turned to Luke. "Are you positive I can't just get rid of them all?"

"Would that involve killing any of them?"

"Probably quite a few."

"Then no." Luke looked around. "There must be some way out of this situation…"

Lightning considered going out there and wreaking havoc anyway. Then she realized the higher-ups probably would have an issue with that. Much as she liked screwing up governments, she kinda needed them to be around at the moment.

They continued hiding behind their ice.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Prowlers and Vipers flew over the skies, taking out thousands of mammoth-riders. Despite their best efforts, however, some still made it into the Metropolis, smashing over buildings and trampling people.

Then the Centurions were transported. They nodded to each other, and opened fire.

The tribal people never stood a chance. Only their mammoths could even dent the Centurions, and the Centurions were smart enough to generally just get out of the way.

The attack was halted rather quickly.

The Centurions marched out of the Metropolis, hoping to avoid a scene.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning had an idea. "ESUNA!" she cast, hitting a few of the mob members. They shook their heads, confused. They didn't know why they were in the mob anymore. What was this all about? Aliens. Why were aliens bad…

Then their faces hardened once more. They must be eliminated.

"That was very temporary…" Kara muttered.

Then it got worse.

Several purple cylinders fell from the sky, shattering the ice structure. Lightning, Applejack, and the jedi were sent flying towards the mob. The mob would have ripped them to shreds, had the cylinders not begun to open.

Out stepped several large, ugly, humanoid aliens. They looked very… Brute-ish. They just looked dumb.

But they had big guns.

They quickly opened fire on the mob, killing dozens.

Lightning growled. "FLARE!"

One of the Brutes began to glow, slowly heating up to extreme temperatures. He began to scream as he lit on fire, radiation flying off him. Then he exploded.

Lightning fell to her knee. She had been using a bit too much magic.

Luke and Applejack nodded to her. "We'll take care of it." The pony said, flashing into rainbow power form. Luke drew his lightsaber. Kara whipped out her two guns. All restraint was lost. They cut loose on the Brutes, cutting them down quickly.

Leia just stood back, watching. She hated not having a weapon.

The mob overcame their fear and charged the Brutes as well. They never stood a chance.

Luke sighed. Killing was not something he liked to do. But these Brutes had not offered him any other choice.

A voice boomed over the crowd. "LOOK AT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!" Baltar said, gesturing. "The aliens have come into our Metropolis, destroyed our homes, and killed our citizens! This is what they are bringing! We must not stand for this!"

He held a fist high, his face torqued in unnatural rage. "No… they cannot even be our servants! They ALL. MUST. GO."

The crowd whooped.

Baltar dragged Rainbow Dash out into the open, chained up, weak. Applejack gasped.

Baltar drew a gun. "This one shall go first, for daring to defy God's will. There was a chance she could have lived with us, worked with us. No more."

Applejack yelled. "NO!" And ran.

But she wasn't fast enough. Baltar pulled the trigger. The bullet left the gun.

A strange orange-brown fluid shaped into a tentacle, turned to concrete, and blocked the bullet. It then pulsed a purple color, sending out a Force wave, knocking Baltar over. The fluid changed back into its regular shape, that of Odo. He turned his finger into a knife and cut the chains off of Rainbow Dash.

She barely had enough energy to nod in appreciation.

Applejack ran to her. "Rainbow! Oh no oh no…"

Lightning walked up to the blue pegasus. "Curaja."

As Rainbow Dash was rejuvenated, Lightning took a breather. "WAY too much magic…"

Luke walked up to Odo. "That was a nice trick."

"I'm still not joining your little group of monks. I have responsibilities here."

Luke shrugged. He had an idea, but now wasn't the best time to mention it.

Baltar stood up, all humanity in his eyes gone. "KILL. THEM."

Odo turned into a pillar shape and sent out another Force blast, knocking the majority of the mob over. "I don't think so." Then he turned into a giant bird; picked the jedi, the ponies, and Lightning up; and flew off.

"Why didn't you do this earlier?" Luke yelled.

"I have to conserve mass. Usually at least." He paused. "This Force of yours seems to let me bend the rules a bit."

They flew off towards the center of the Metropolis, the Central Tower looming in the distance.

The mob raged, but without a target, they appeased themselves by beating up the Brute corpses.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Lampkin said, raising his voice to levels people had never heard it at before.

Picard decided he should be the one to explain. "Our own citizens lost all common sense, the tribes attacked, and the Covenant invaded, all at the same time."

Lampkin sat down, glaring. "Why?"

"Unknown. We suspect that something is affecting our citizens' minds, although we don't know what. It is reasonable to suspect that whatever is causing this effect would also bring about the natives' attack."

"What about the Covenant? Why are they here? How did they find us?"

Picard put a hand to his forehead. "We have no idea. Cortana doesn't even have a clue as to why the Covenant would be here. She's still searching her data banks about the Covenant, but everything she's found all seems to be nothing but rumor."

Lampkin turned around, facing his back towards the others. "What are we going to do?"

D'anna took a breath. "We can ask the rebels for help."

Saul nodded. "Luke and his jedi have already offered."

"What could THEY do?"

"Well I hear they deal a lot with mental mind mumbo-jumbo. Maybe they can find out what is causing all this. Still not entirely sure it's not just people being people."

Cavil huffed. "Humans have an amazing capability for stupidity."

"Indeed." Scorpius agreed.

D'anna shook her head. "People who aren't violent were joining the mob protest. People who had alien friends have become bloodthirsty savages. That is not normal."

Lampkin sighed. "Tell Luke his help will be appreciated. We will give him whatever he needs." He paused. "And tell Janeway and Spock to inform the Rebels of our true situation. No more hiding behind politics."

"But mister President-" Picard began to object.

"We will. We need help, we should not be afraid to receive it."

"But the location of our world may leak to the Empire!"

Lampkin turned. "They're a bit busy with the Replicators don't you think? It's a risk I'm willing to take." He paused. "Though I do suppose you all can stop me."

Saul, D'anna, and Scorpius all raised their hands in agreement with Lampkin.

Cavil gaped. "Scorpius? I thought that you, surely, would understand the need to stand strong on your own!"

Scorpius glared back. "Assistance can make you stronger, Cavil. While there is a risk involved, it will give us more power overall if it pays off."

Cavil huffed. He was obviously not happy.

Picard sighed. "We will do it. I understand the reasoning." He stood up. "Is there anything else?"

Lampkin shook his head. "No."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Here's my suggestion. We, the jedi, stay here in the Metropolis. You come down here a few hours every day to train. This is by no means a binding commitment, but you will need to learn to control that Force of yours."

Odo thought this over. "Fine. But this works on MY schedule, understood?"

"Of course." Luke nodded. "Now go back to your station and tell everyone the news." He turned to Rainbow Dash as Odo left. "And you, my blue friend, have the Force within you as well."

"Well, yeah, obviously. I'm awesome."

"After you're rested, you can train with us as well and learn new abilities." He cocked his head. "Though I'm not sure how we're going to get you a lightsaber…"

She lifted up her left foreleg. "Our hooves can bend around basic objects, so we can carry things around."

"...how does that work?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "I'm sure that Rainbow would loveta be part of your little group. But can I talk to er alone for a minute?"

"Sure." Luke said, walking off. "I need to talk to Lightning anyway."

Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash. "Why aren't ya-"

Rainbow Dash held up a foot. "I got bored there. Everyone was just so… peaceful. It was creepy."

"You would have been safe!"

"I needed adventure. I found a little dimensional crack thingy and went through. Ended up next to an old guy. Live long and swag!"

Applejack blinked. "Ehwut?"

"Nevermind." Rainbow Dash's cheerful expression vanished. "So… how are things back home?"

Applejack smiled. "Everything has recovered completely, Dash. In fact we've progressed further than we have ever been before. We've been approached by a group called the Hoseki recently-"

Rainbow Dash sighed. "I meant personally. I know recovery is going well. How is Twilight doing?"

"She… has a large burden." Applejack gave an awkward glance. "She still doesn't want to see you."

Rainbow Dash sighed. "I take it nothing has changed then…"

"Well Dan got a job."

Rainbow Dash's melancholy face vanished and she started laughing. "Really? No. There's no way. The Jerk with a capital J managed to get hired? What does he do?"

"Gets paid to yell at people purdy much."

Rainbow Dash laughed again. "Should've known." She sighed, wings drooping. "Well… I'm never going back there… so… say hi to me for me."

"Will do."

"Now." Rainbow Dash said, turning. "How's about we see who's the best now!"

"You do realize you won the last one?"  
"Yeah. So? Competition is good."

"You sure you're up to this? I mean, you did just-"

Rainbow Dash's face became stern, and she absent-mindedly scratched her mark. "I've been tortured before, Applejack. You should know this."

Applejack looked away, noticing the scars on Rainbow Dash's underside once more. She shouldn't have brought that up.

Rainbow Dash recovered, gesturing. "We can race out there. Come on."

The two ponies ran out to have some fun.

Meanwhile, Lightning and Luke were having a glaring contest.

"What are you?" Luke asked.

"I'm Lightning."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant. Even I don't really know." She frowned.

"I could try to train you-"

"No." Lightning said, scowling. "I teach myself. I do not need to be instructed. I learn."

"Trial and error is a dangerous philosophy-"

"It's worked for me." She paused. "I guess I will stay here for a while though…"

Luke smiled. "You are always welcome here. Who knows. Maybe you'll change your mind."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "I'm not becoming a jedi." She turned to look him directly in the eyes. "That doesn't mean I won't learn a few of your tricks." She strode off.

Luke blinked. He wasn't sure that was a good thing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"God" slumbered.

In his sleep, he shrugged. So it hadn't brought about their downfall. He'd expected as much.

That wasn't the point anyway. The point was to plant the seeds.

He would awaken soon enough, and they would serve him.

They just needed a push. More than they already had. Baltar and Caprica were not sufficient. Even if Baltar's mind was now completely his, it wasn't enough.

He reached out. "Hera… awaken."

In the Metropolis, a little girl stood up, her eyes flashing _black_ somehow.

She pointed at a her toy xylophone. The Song played, despite nothing hitting the keys.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"We got more than we bargained for…" A handsome man said in his signature voice.

"This world is rather messed up." A young athletic girl said, stretching in an advanced pose.

"Perhaps we could use force?" A dark-skinned girl said, lighting her hand with a mixture of fire and electricity.

"No." The fourth, a rainbow haired girl said. "We will rise on our own."

The others nodded. "What do we do about Baltar's group?" The man asked.

"We let them do what they wish. We can use them to our advantage."

"I like the way you think."

"Of course you do. It's almost a requirement."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

ROG RQH, DZDNHQ

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: Ah it feels good to be publishing things again!**

 **Remember your reward! 25 of you. At least ONE of you has to have a desire to have something you want in here. :3 (Though I do suppose it IS possible that all the things you want are already in… but doubtful.)**


	16. January 15: Pants

**AN:**

 **GM: ah look a nice comedic episode. With plot as well. I like this one. Nice and fun.**

Sunday, January 15: Pants

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Inside Atlantis, the headquarters of the Wingdings, there was boredom.

Seth snored. Loudly. This indicated that he was fast asleep and not going to be woken up by anything aside from something louder than a nuclear explosion.

Destiny, a woman almost twice as tall as Seth and wearing a long, tight blue dress, sensed something. Her star-shaped hair twitched, and she looked at the main monitor. She slowly turned to the three other occupants of the station.

"A message is about to come in."

One of the others, a blue tin-can shaped robot only three feet tall, spoke up. "And you know this how, mistress of aardvark?"

"Droid. I'm Destiny. Mentalis of Astrological Magic. I sense things. You know this."

"Of course I do. But do I know the furthest definition of the orange aardvark?"

"What is it with you and aardvarks today?"

"Start of a running gag."

"Hey! Watch it!" A little voice said, coming from on top of Droid. "If you two start arguing my back is going to end up hurting again!"

Destiny smiled. "Oh C.C. You know that Droid is likely to get someone like Siphon ticked off in the next few hours and your back will end up hurting. That is, as long as you insist upon riding him."

C. C. Cockroach, cockroach author and adventurer, managed to look indignant. "This place atop the tin can's crown is the most comfortable position in the universe! When it's not being bashed around like a punching bag!"

Droid raised an arm. "I forward the motion that I be considered a punching grasshopper for the rest of eternity."

C. C. Cockroach rolled his eyes. (not that anybody could see it or anything.) "Your ideas, while absolutely brilliant, are too far above our puny minds."

"I'm a taco."

C. C. Cockroach faceantennaed. Just when he thought Droid was being profound, all of his hopes were dashed. Droid was probably doing it on purpose. Probably.

The message chose that moment to come in.

 _Some dignitaries are coming to the Beta Site to see some of the Alliance. I want two of you there._

 _-Janet. Janet the President, not some other Janet you can just ignore._

 _P.S. "having a party" is no longer a valid excuse for not going._

Destiny sighed. "Not it."

C. C. Cockroach raised his antennae. "Not it."

"Totally never in absolutelydutely mutely avocadoes it." Droid said, enthusiastically.

Destiny pulled a small device out of her shirt. She pushed the singular red button on it. The earpiece in Seth's ear screeched a noise so loud that it burst Seth's eardrum.

"OW! I HAVE TO GET THAT FIXED NOW! GAH! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Mission." Destiny said, smiling. "Sending you on a diplomatic mission. Just like old times!"

"What?" He said, hearing skills virtually nil at the moment.

Destiny pressed Seth's face into the screen. "READ."

"Oh. Yes. This looks like fun. Who's my partner?"

Destiny pointed to the only resident of the room who had yet to speak. A short-haired blonde girl in a light blue dress and darker pants was staring at the "open door" button, mesmerized by the blue blinking light.

Seth paled. "Oh no."

She turned around, sensing she was needed, a smile appearing on her face. She spoke with the most innocent voice possible. "What's wrong Seth? Don't you like having me as a partner?"

"No no no it's not that.. it's just… the OTHER you… s…"

And the being known as Chirssa grinned one of the most terrifying cute smiles possible. "Oh come now! I'll keep them in check!"

Seth blanched. She was not a good liar.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Patema was pacing. It was a thing heroes tended to do when bored or worried.

At the moment, Patema was somehow both.

Bored because nothing had happened for an entire day.

Worried because that meant Ty Lee was still missing.

It was affecting all of them. Deadpool's antics had actually been reduced to a minimum. Wendy had a few more angry outbursts at random appliances (particularly the toaster in the mess hall. That thing was evil incarnate. Though it was much better than the toaster oven, which just didn't follow the laws of physics.)

Jinora was affected the most, however. She had just stopped showing up for any event at all. She was eating, Patema made sure of that, but she wasn't talking.

She supposed it had only been two days. Best give her time to adjust.

Unfortunately Patema, being a SG team leader at the SGC, had responsibilities. It wasn't just the paperwork she had to do, which was actually somewhat welcome in this case. No, it was the fact that SG-1 was taking her offworld for a _political_ mission. Apparently the Hoseki had made contact with a few new people and they wanted to see the dimensional alliance. And the SGC, being the friendly organization that it was, of course said they would send some people. Which of course meant SG-1, and addons.

Patema sighed, waving to Deadpool. "See you later, Moron."

"Ya know that nickname still isn't that creative."

"So?" She smirked, despite herself. "It brings happiness and warmth and your annoyance. I like it." She walked out, heading for the Gateroom.

Patema understood her role at the moment to be "person-from-random-world-who-joined-the-alliance-because-she-felt-like-it." She was a symbol of the Alliance's welcoming arms. (even though she had become an Earth citizen a few years before the Alliance was even a thing. A mere technicality).

She walked through the giant doors, stopping in front of the awe-inspiring ring. Which was no longer awe-inspiring to her, seeing as she saw it virtually every single day. In front of the doors were all five members of SG-1, bickering in their normal way.

"I'm just saying Jack, just because something LOOKS dangerous, doesn't mean it IS-"

"And I'm telling YOU, _Daniel,_ that Big Red Buttons™ are _not to be pushed!"_

"It was pink!"

Teal'c interrupted the argument with his own input. "I do believe pink is just a light red, Daniel Jackson."

Miranda shook her head. "Pink and red are totally different. When I'm red my element is fire. When I'm pink it's plasma."

Carter blinked. "Wait. So in your book pink is MORE dangerous?"

"Yep! And more fun!"

Patema waved. "Hellooooo there rightside-up people! Quit arguing about which color is closer to evil incarnate! We've got a job to do."

The bickering ceased, and instantly the five noticed her. "Hey, Patema, how're you holding up?" Carter asked, concern on her face.

Patema sighed. "You don't need to worry. I lost lots of people during my time with the Doctor."

"Still, she was a member of your team-"

Patema growled inwardly. She wasn't some little kid. She could handle herself. Her exterior didn't display this inward annoyance, however, as she simply gave a sad smile and responded with "Trust me, I'm fine."

SG-1 looked unsure, but they didn't push the issue.

Walter dialed the gate. "Alpha site, here we come!" O'Neill yelled over the clamour of the gate.

The six of them stepped through the rippling stargate, out of the deep underground SGC into the Alpha Site, which was not as far underground but still pretty far. In other words it looked like it was just another part of the SGC, albeit the gateroom was usually bigger.

Normally, at this point they'd sit and wait around for something to happen. But something happened for them. Seth ran in, his various weapons clanking around. "YOU GOTTA HELP ME MIRANDA!"

"What?" Miranda said, head cocking.

"Chirssa's my partner this time!"

It is physically impossible for a Gari to blanch. However, Miranda, being a special type of Gari, did have a natural response equatable to blanching. Her hair and gauntlets turned white.

Patema turned. "What? What's so bad about this Chirssa?"

"Nothing really…" Miranda muttered. "She's just a tad… crazy."

O'Neill clapped his hands. "Great! You must get along with her well then!"

Miranda wasn't listening. She clutched her staff, the crystal glowing. "Take me to her. I'll see what I can do."

Seth nodded vigorously. "You have fifteen minutes before the representatives arrive-"

Then the stargate activated behind them, indicating an incoming wormhole. Seth facepalmed. "D*****." He could only hope that Chirssa didn't do anything crazy. It was a wild, irrational hope, but he held onto it with whatever flimsy fiber he could.

The being that came out of the stargate was… odd. It was mint-green humanoid, wearing a sleeveless business jacket and beige pants, with a purse that seemed stuffed with random important documents. It had hooves instead of feet, although the hands looked completely human. (aside from the fact that they were mint-green). Sprouting out of the visitor's back were a pair of wings, the same minty-green color; somehow an electric guitar and lyre were also strung to the back without hindering the wings. The ears were decidedly equine in nature, and the long hair atop its head was a slightly-less-vibrant minty color. Coming out of the forehead, right between the yellow-iris eyes, was a curly horn. The being took took in a breath and spoke in a female voice.

"Hi! I'm Ambassador-Princess Lyra Heartstrings, and I like pants!"

SG-1, Patema, and Seth blinked, not sure what to make of this.

Lyra facepalmed. Apparently she had practiced splitting the fingers just right as to not impale her and with her own horn. "D'oh! Darn it Lyra! Do NOT open up with liking pants in this situation! That is only for Bon Bon, Changelings, and the hypothetical Tirek situation."

More silence greeted her.

"Um.. can we start over? I'm Ambasssador-Princess Lyra Heartstrings, and I like pants. DARN IT. I AM AMBASSADOR-PRINCESS LYRA HEARTSTRINGS, AND I LIKE SWEET ROLLS! ...Better I suppose."

She was greeted with more silence.

"Can we just forget this ever happened and get to business of somesort?" She said, her horn glowing in a yellowish magical aura. The pages in her purse floated out, encased in a similar yellowish glow. She grabbed them out of the air with her hand, and grinned. "I finally get to have other humans do paperwork!"

"You aren't human." Seth observed.

"Wasn't referring to myself." Lyra muttered, sifting through the pages with a mixture of both hands, telekinetic magic, and the folds of her shirt. "I'm an alicorn-human transmogrification hybrid. Personal spell of my own. I am one of only a handful of humanoid citizens in Equestria." She apparently found the page she was looking for. "AHA! Here it is!" She coughed. "The quintarchs (sweet chlorophyll that sounds pretentious) of Equestria have sent one of their number to look into this rumored Dimensional Alliance to seek out the possibilities of alliance and/or joining." Lyra sighed. "There's more, but it's boring legalese. WHO HERE IS THE LAWYER?"

Everyone in the room pointed at Daniel. He sighed, taking the page as it floated over to him.

"Now." Lyra said, stretching. "I may be a princess, an ambassador, a conspiracy theorist, a lyrist, a guitarist, and be a relatively good spellcaster; but I am NOT a master of legal anything whatsoever. Give me a sweet roll and I am appeased enough not to say anything bad about you unless you are rude jerks. Now where can I go to play my instruments while I wait?"

O'Neill grinned. This Lyra was going to be fun. "The mess hall's over there, Minty."

"Only Bon Bon can call me Minty, Bucko."

"Only my friends can call me Bucko, Minty."

Lyra glared at O'Neill before bursting into laughter. "Okay Sparky, you're good. Don't call me Minty though."

"Kay then, Horny." O'Neill responded.

Lyra giggled. "OOOOOH nice one, Ageful."

O'Neill squinted. He was not about to be outdone in the nickname game. "You seem to be delaying your journey into the mess hall, Mis-"

Miranda waved her finger, sealing both their mouths shut. "I think we get the picture that Lyra will fit in perfectly fine here. Now let's all go into the mess hall, relatively quietly, and see her play."

Lyra grinned, running into the mess hall, her hooves clopping on the ground. "ALRIGHT PEOPLE OF THE ALPHA SITE! Prepare to meet one of Equestria's musical GENIUSES!"

She flipped the guitar off her back and into her hands, using her horn to levitate the Lyre. "Ready… set… GO!"

The guitar made the base of the melody, shredding its way into the ears of all the eating people. The lyre, however, was the clear lead instrument, ringing out in the foreground, being played more like something to jam to than the regular soothing melody lyres are normally associated with.

"Hey there humans! I like you a lot!

Though I haven't given this song much thought…

But i'm gonna try to tell you all that I can-

My name's Lyra and I like pants!"

As Lyra entered a bit of an instrumental section she cursed under her breath.

"I tend to be cray, but don't mind me

I like sweet rolls and conspiracies-"

At that point, the beat changed to something much faster and random

"Now I'd like to take a minute just sit right there

and I'll tell you 'bout how Cloudsdale FELL FROM THE AIR-

Did I just say that out loud? Uh…-"

Lyra, somehow, managed to keep playing the instruments as she mulled over in her head what the next lyric would be. Someone chose for her. Chirssa chose, at that moment, to walk into the room. And she liked what she saw.

"HEY LOOK A PONY-

Wait is that a pickle?

What are you playing there?

A fiddle?

I couldn't help overhearing

something I find quite endearing….

When's the destruction?

Please tell me it's nearing!"

Lyra went with it, grinning.

"It's called a lyre, now who are you?"

"My name is Chirssa! Nice to meet you!"

"Destruction, eh? What's so fun about that?"

"DESTRUCTION MAKES ME LAUGH."

A moment of silence.

"I like you. Here's a free pair of pants."

And with that, the two did a high five, a big finish and took a bow. Both of them were grinning one of those grins only a person who wasn't completely sane could give. O'Neill identified with that grin. As did Miranda.

Carter was the only one who even bothered to ask "Where'd the extra pair of pants come from?"

One of the soldiers in the mess hall looked down. Then he turned a rather nice shade of pomegranate, and left the room as fast as he could.

At that point everyone noticed the pointy-eared humanoid alien standing in the doorway that led to the gateroom. He looked almost human, the only differing features being aforementioned pointy ears, pronounced eyebrows, and a very serious expression. He blinked. "Where was the logic in that action?"

Lyra blinked back. "Logic? Excuse me, I'm an alicorn/human hybrid. I don't make physical sense. Who needs logic."

The man sighed. "I see. An emotional race…"

"Of course!" Lyra said, grinning like an idiot.

Chirssa clapped. "GO LYRA!"

Lyra shrugged, not entirely sure what Chirssa was on about.

Daniel bowed at the man. "I'm terribly sorry for the antics, ambassador Joyce."

"No need." Joyce responded. "Illogical actions are just a part of other races, I've discovered."

Everyone in the room tried not to get annoyed at that. "It's best we get to business. I have with me two others, representing-"

"No! no VULCAN gets to introduce an ANDORIAN!" A blue-skinned humanoid with two blue antennae stepped out into the light. "I am Afnar, and I am just as important as Joyce here."

A third voice entered the fray, deep and husky. "Actually seeing as the Vulcans are the most advanced of our races, and that they are more intelligent-"

Afnar groaned. "The argumentative dog behind me is Hern of the Tellarites."

"And he goes ahead and introduces me for him. The hypocrite." Hern said, drawing attention to his heavily bearded, and wrinkled face. And the big nose, of course.

Lyra grinned. "I'm also here to do what you do whatever you do it is whatever. uh… I'm Ambassador-Princess Lyra Heartstrings, and I like pants! GOSH. DARN. IT."

The three alien ambassadors blinked. Joyce quickly dismissed it as other-race weirdness, Hern chuckled, and Afnar attempted to comprehend what just happened. He failed, of course.

They all went to the meeting room.

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Patema was bored. A dozen people sitting at a table talking politics. When she was asked questions, she would answer, but that was about it. There had been a lot of cultural discussion. She had summed each speech given in one sentence:

Vulcans: really boring people who valued logic above all else, making them like living cardboard.

Tellurians: politicians who saw argument as sport

Andorians: an aggressive race, who liked the cold.

Equestrians: a generally horse-like people from a world in the Magical Universe that were highly magically advanced and had suffered a cataclysm of some sort a few decades ago.

Just for fun, she summarized the speeches given by the alliance

Hoseki: trans-dimensional race with their own system who were relatively young as a nation but extremely powerful

Earth: A bunch of arguing nations who are busy fighting over the land on one planet, and yet have the power to influence the galaxy.

The Jaffa: a slave race that wants out of bondage.

Patema herself hadn't given a speech. Her world wasn't in the alliance. Which just encouraged her boredom. When Patema was bored, she tended to dwell on things she'd rather not dwell on. Like the fact that Ty Lee was still missing. The fact that she needed to choose a new team member at some point. The fact that Jinora wasn't taking this well. The fact that-

She was brought out of the depressing whirlpool by Chirssa, who shouted. "I. HATE. POLITICS. All of you stop being boring."

Everyone slowly turned to Chirssa, blinking. Seth facepalmed. "Gah…"

She continued. "I mean, obviously we all need to learn to get along better. You Vulcans and Andorians obviously are at each other's throats with a figurative knife. So I have an idea! ICEBREAKERS! What is your favorite food?"

"SWEET ROLLS!" Lyra yelled, wings spreading.

"BLUE JELLO!" O'Neill yelled.

Nobody else volunteered.

Chrissa sighed. "Come ON! You all need to learn how to-"

"Excuse me?" Hern objected. "Need is such a strong word."

Chirssa put on a pouting look. "Oh come on you didn't even hear what you needed to learn!"

"Pray tell, little girl, wha-" Afnar began.

Chirssa's eye twitched. "Little... GIRL? I'll have you know I am a LADY" she said, smacking her hands down on the table.

Seth stood up, his face showing a mixture of embarrassment and fear. "Now now calm down…"

"NO! I will not sit by and-" Then something strange happened. Chirssa blinked, and her body type completely changed. Her chest area became flatter, and her legs thickened. She gained muscles, and her face hardened. Claws grew out of her (or perhaps his) hands. "-you all have insulted me!"

He rushed towards Joyce, only to have Lyra levitate him in the air. "Now now we can't have that."

The claws began to glow, and they cut right out of the magical levitation. "Your tricks do nothing to me mage! NOTHING-"

Miranda prepared to cast a particularly nasty spell to deal with Chirssa when the unexpected happened. He turned back into a girl, but the aloof and crazy look was gone. "I must apologize for my other selves." She said, sitting back down with a calm look on her face. "They do get out of hand. Please continue."

Seth sighed, putting his head into his hands. "Well… I suppose that could have gone WORSE…"

Chirssa turned into a male again, this time without claws. "I say. There might not be amazing looking women around here. As it is, I happen to see a certain winged creature who is absolutely ama-"

The form shifted again. "BAD Chris! BAD! DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE AMBASSADORS!"

"But she just looks so darn-"

"I SAID QUIT IT!"

"Flowers!"

"EAT. MY. S*** M***********."

"CHIRSS! LANGUAGE!"

"But what about the flowers?"

"EVERYBODY CALM." Chirssa's form had settled on the calm female. She turned to Lyra. "Terribly sorry about Chris. He's a pervert."

Lyra rolled her eyes. "He wouldn't had gotten anywhere. Trust me. I have a very special thing for guys. Levitating them over dumpsters."

"Not into dumpsters?" Miranda asked.

"Oh of course not! They'd pass out from the stink! And they can't suffer while passed out!"

Hern blinked. "What's IN your dumpsters?"

"The remains of small woodland creatures."

"What?"

"Candy wrappers."

"Gentlemen." Chirssa said. "Can we stop this incessant bickering?"

"Only if you explain yourself, GIRL." Anfar grunted.

Chirssa muttered something under her breath before addressing Anfar. "I have a very unique form of multiple-personality disorder. My body was subjected to so much of a power increase when I was young that my mind couldn't cope, and split the powers amongst six different personalities. The four most common you have seen: Chirss, the one with claws; Chris, the pervert; Criss, the odd one, and myself, Crissa."

"What about the other two?"

"None of your concern." "Crissa" said, looking right into Anfar's eyes.

Anfar sat back. "Fine. I have more questions about the admission process into the alliance."

Seth sat back. "Right now, all you have to do is ask and make a good impression on us. In about a month I suspect our lawyers will draw up something a bit more complicated and more political, but right now the ask-to-join suits us just fine."

Lyra jumped up. "I SAY EQUESTRIA SHALL JOIN!" She grinned.

"Do you have the authority to do that?" Joyce said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. I'm one of the four princesses! ...I probably should say five rulers but four princesses sounds better... Just don't tell Discord I left him out."

"How in blue-sky did your people put you in a position of power?" Anfar asked in an accusatory voice.

Lyra grinned. "I'm an alicorn. It's how it happens. And I study humans. So yeah."

Seth's badge started to flash red with warning lights. "Uh-oh…" He muttered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

ALERT: THERE IS AN ANONYMOUS NYAN CAT WATCHING YOU RIGHT NOW.

Okay. You may continue with the story. Just had to tell ya, reader, before it got stuck in your head or something.

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In orbit of the planet (which was nameless) a single Hoseki warship sat, guarding the alpha site. It's name: the Extron. The commander was a diverlan, a strange race that mutated exceptionally easily. This particular diverlan resembled a cross between a flesh bat and a squid. His name? Ted.

That's it. Just Ted. No last name. It's not a nickname. That's it. TED.

"Captain Ted! Proximity alert! Goa'uld design!"

"Red alert." Ted said, turning to the screen. "Status?"

"Being shot at with energy weapons!"

"Of course. Return fire."

The dozens of plasma cannons all over the Extron erupted in fire, retaliating.

"The smaller ships are falling easily, but a few of them seem to be more advanced than the others. There is also one big ship…"

"Onscreen." The screen showed a large, black, and somewhat flat ship. It was slowly turning towards them, pulsing with some kind of golden energy.

"Energy buildup seems surprisingly similar to our own main cannon sir!"

Ted, if he'd had a normal mouth, would have grinned. "Let's see just how powerful their cannon is. Fire ours."

From the head of the Extron a gigantic blue laser shot out at high speed, cutting a hole right through a smaller pyramid ship. The large black ship fired a golden laser back, meeting halfway. As the two impressive beams collided, they reacted, producing a green explosion.

"X****." Ted yelled, knowing what happened when a the main cannon was met with something of equal force. The energy was let out in a super-concentrated thaumic pulse…

All the primary systems on the Extron went offline. Within a few seconds, the secondary ones came online. "Report!"

"Sir! The thaumic pulse didn't knock out the black ship! It's charging it's main cannon!"

There was only one word Ted could use in this moment.

"X****."

The golden lazer impacted the Extron's shields, sending waves rippling across the thaumic barrier. It began to crack under the stress, until it snapped altogether. The golden laser cut right through the center of the Extron, hitting several of the energy cores, resulting in an impressive multicolored explosion that ripped the Extron apart.

On board the black ship, Goa'uld system lord Anubis, semi-ascended being, clasped his hands. So these Hoseki weren't invulnerable. Far from it. Just overwhelm them, and there they go. He waved his hand, his voice echoing throughout the chamber. "Go to the Alpha Site. Kill everyone aside from the Grand Mage. Capture her, and bring her to me."

He realized that the other ships, being disabled from the thaumic pulse, weren't able to hear him. He grunted, flicking his finger, killing a random Jaffa. He then ordered groups out to repair the other ships, and prepare for landing. He sent another group to check the Extron's wreckage for salvage purposes.

He folded his hands. They would not escape.

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"We can't dial out." Carter muttered. "The gate has an incoming wormhole. And I don't think we can wait thirty-eight minutes for the stargate to time out."

O'Neill nodded. "We have the soldiers setting up perimeters, but we are not equipped to deal with orbital bombardment. If they decide to erase us, they can."

Anfar looked angry. "How were you not prepared? You are at war with these people correct? You should have expected-"

O'Neill gave Anfar a stare. "Let me make this clear to you, Anfar. We had one of the most advanced warships in orbit of this planet, just in case something went wrong. Which by the way, we found extremely unlikely seeing as this location is SECRET and the fact that there is nothing on this planet of interest ASIDE from this site! They dropped a fleet on us!"

"They must want something." Joyce said.

"Could be any number of things." Daniel said. "Any of you ambassadors, or any of us. Though Anubis hasn't used this much force before, so it probably isn't one of us-"

Joyce nodded. "We must defend the position. What are normal Goa'Uld strategies?"

O'Neill answered. "They'll land their ships in a field then walk over with infantry and a handful of death gliders. Not the most tactical strategy, but they like to be showy. Giant armies appeal to them. We're likely outnumbered twenty to one."

"What are our resources?"

"Fifty soldiers, ourselves, the not-combat-trained staff, and six state of the art fighters. And the base itself does have a singe defense turret, but we probably won't get off many shots with that thing before they blast it to pieces."

"That's not much." Joyce observed.

"You're tellin me."

Miranda looked at O'Neill. "I could go for it. See what I could do on my own."

O'Neill blinked. "You could take on an entire army?"

"None of them are mages right?"

"No. Unless you count Anubis himself, but he's kind of his own thing-"

"Then I shouldn't have a problem." She clutched her staff harder. "You may want to watch this, it's rare people get to see me cut loose." And with that, she teleported out of the base.

"Does she really have that much power?" Hern asked.

Lyra smirked. "Oh you betcha."

"How would you know?"

"I sensed her. She has a magic just slightly lower than my own. And I'm willing to be she's used it in combat extensively." She grinned. "Prepare for some pwnage."

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Miranda fully prepared to give out some pwnage. She shifted to air, swirling the atmosphere around her to allow for flight. She rocketed towards the open area where the ships were likely to land. She looked up, seeing them descending.

She smirked, holding her staff up high. The crystal began to glow an eerie green, becoming a ball of energy, before blasting into the sky and impacting a ship, upsetting its balance. Miranda pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slipped them on as the ship crashed, igniting the nearby landscape on fire. She grinned. The alpha site was a few miles back that direction. Otherwise, there was no collateral damage she needed to worry about. Time to use some of her more crazy spells.

She pointed one of her fingers at another ship, setting up a series of magic rings. She activated them, and a lance-like construct bore a hole right into the ship's core, causing it to explode.

She giggled. She probably should be a sport and at least let them land… So she did.

As the ships landed, hundreds of Jaffa poured out in their ranks, ready to take her on. Hundreds of golden staff-weapon blasts whizzed towards her. She raised a hand, and all the staff weapon blasts collected in her hand, congealing into a gigantic golden sphere, which she then proceeded to smash into the ground, creating quite the crater.

She put her hands on her hips, smiling. Ah, yes. She clasped her hands together, and a three-layer magic ring appeared around her, and the sky darkened. Her hair turned jet black, and three lasers came from the heavens, impacting around her. She snapped her fingers, drawing a triangle of magical energy between the lasers. A razor-sharp triangle appeared, and began to spin rapidly, growing exponentially in size, slicing right through the Jaffa.

"I call that one the tri-slicer! One of my more creative spell-"

She teleported out of the way just before a gigantic golden laser hit her.

She blinked. Well. That was powerful. It came from orbit as well, and she did not have enough magical energy to achieve escape velocity at the moment. And seeing as the ship wasn't large enough to see, she couldn't hit it with a shot from here. What to do…

A Jaffa hit her with a zat gun, pouring electricity into her body. Before the zat gun did its intended purpose of stunning her, Miranda's brain performed a reflexive anti-paralysis spell. "OW! THAT HURT!" She turned, lightning the Jaffa on fire. "There. Much better." She turned, looking at the battlefield. There were still lots of Jaffa, and they were not happy. Miranda pushed both hands forward, plowing through wave after wave of jaffa. This was way too easy.

She didn't notice the laser fire again until it was right on top of her. It hit her dead on, driving her into the ground. She attempted to divert the laser's energy using her magic. She did rather well, considering, but the laser had cut through a warship's shields. Even if she was exceptionally powerful, this laser was designed to be a superweapon.

When the laser exhausted its energy, Miranda stood there, looking singed. She coughed, smoke coming out of her mouth. She promptly keeled over, faceplanting.

The Jaffa picked her up, and took her into one of the still-functional ships. It took off into the sky, taking her to Anubis.

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"They're just… waiting now sir." One of the soldiers told O'Neill. "Ever since they took Miranda they've just… stopped."

O'Neill growled. It was never a good sign when the enemy had the upper hand and was doing nothing.

Patema grunted. "What are we going to do… what are we going to do…"

"Patema. Leaders need to be calm."

"Got it…" She muttered.

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Miranda awoke to a rather unpleasant sight. Her gauntlets were encased in some kind of metal, holding her limbs in an X shape. A very uncomfortable X shape.

In front of her, was a strange hooded creature. She couldn't see its face, and all her magic sense detected was some kind of amorphous blob.

"Anubis, I take it?"

"Indeed." Anubis said, emotionless. "You are High Mage Miranda Marlowe of the Hoseki. Impressive display on the surface."

"I was going for that."

"Do you mind if I asked how you accomplished those feats?"

"Not telling you anything."

"No… I suppose you aren't. And I have a feeling that a mind probe won't do anything to you."

 _It would depend on the kind of probe…_ Miranda thought. "Probably not."

"I guess I just have to study you here then." He said, as he reached into his cloak, bringing out a syringe. "Hold still-"

And with that, Miranda teleported out of the restraints.

Anubis simply turned around. He'd known the restraints wouldn't hold her. That wasn't what he'd been going for.

He'd already done all the tests he needed. And that teleportation was the last piece.

He gave the order to destroy the alpha site. Then he, and his giant mothership, left orbit. There was no need to stay around. He had other things to attend to.

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"The ships are... leaving!"

"WHAT?" O'Neill yelled. Goa'uld never ran away. They were trying something.

The answer came quickly. "D***! They're going for orbital bombardment!"

Joyce furrowed his brow. "Do we have no defense against that?"

"Miranda might have been able to raise a shield-"

Lyra stepped forward. "I can try." She clasped her hands together, closing her eyes shut. Her horn began to glow. "BY THE POWER OF… I guess I'll invoke cheddar cheese this time.. SHIELD!" Lyra spread her wings as a mint-green dome appeared around the Alpha Site. She opened her eyes. "There."

Then the ships started bombarding the shield. While not as strong as the mothership weapon, basic orbital cannons were nothing to sneeze at. Lyra winced. "That isn't going to hold for long…" She muttered.

Seth paced. "How much longer till the stargate resets and we can dial out?"

"Seventeen minutes." Carter reported.

"I can only hold this shield for maybe ten…" Lyra muttered, stress becoming visible on her features.

While the leaders talked, Patema groaned. She felt useless here. No strategies, no team to lead, no-one to speak for. She marched off to some secluded corner of the base. She kicked a random soda can. Life wasn't fair. She just-

"Boo!" Chirssa said, currently in her Criss form. "Did I scare you?"

Patema wondered how the fetal-position she was currently in didn't provide the answer for her. "Uh… yeah?" She slowly stood up, trying to look dignified. "What's up?"

Criss frowned. "I can't do anything. The rest of me is arguing about what sort of enchilada to eat tomorrow."

"What?"  
"I lied. That's what I'm thinking about. The rest of me is worrying about not doing anything. Except Chris. He's analyzing your chest."

Patema glared. There was a problem here. She couldn't hurt the pervert without hurting the innocent girl, and the… weird girl. Meh. "Well uh… oh screw it. We can't do anything. Stare away Chris, I'm just the useless girl who can be upside-down." She grumped, sitting on a box.

Criss became Crissa. "Oh come on, that can't be true."

"Come on! My skills are limited to VERY minor telekinesis, spirit sense through a cupcake, inverted gravity, and some leadership skills. But the problem is too big, there are no spirits around, falling into the sky never helps anyone, and I don't have anyone to LEAD!' She frowned.

Crissa blinked. "Now I know it isn't true. You're in a stupor. Those are never good. Here, have a positivity flower."

Patema blinked at the daisy-like flower that Crissa'd put into her hand. "Uh… thanks?"

"You're supposed to eat it."

"You sure you're the sane one?"

"Nope." Crissa said, becoming Chirss, who began to pick his teeth with his claws. "Split personality disorder kinda requires insanity now doesn't it?"

"True… But what if it wasn't a disorder?"

"Trust me it is." Chirss became Chris. "My short lady, I must insist, it's an insanity. Voices in the head are not good for one's mental state. It also doesn't help if one of your other personalities exert themselves during, say, a date with someone close to your beauty."

Patema glared, slapping him, watching the shift to Criss occur. "OWIE. That hurt…" Crissa took over once more. "It is most definitely a disorder, Patema. Even though we all have our own thoughts, and our own minds, it still gets in the way of life-"

"Ah, but you are all separate minds right? If there was a cure for your 'disorder' would you take it?"

Chirss appeared. "No… We have no guarantee any of us would remain. We would not have each other's council anymore. The sides of an issue can be…. analyzed. Like a fine dessert. Or claws."

"Therefore, you are important. Each and every one of you make up the whole. Without one, you are bro-"

Patema shielded her eyes as Chirssa erupted into a glowing body of light. An echoing voice rushed to the ears of Patema. "We thank you, Patema. It is a rare occurrence when we achieve an equilibrium for the side of good. I am Light Orb, the better of two equilibriums."

"What?"

"Give yourself more credit. You wrangled us. You are an excellent leader."

"I'm still useless."

"Oh… you most certainly are not. Watch."

Light Orb flashed, sending energy into Lyra. In the other room Lyra's eyes widened. "WOOT! POWER BOOST! Not much but I think it'll give us enough time people! GET READY TO DIAL THAT STARGATE!"

O'Neill clapped. "You heard the alicorn!"

"Alicorn-human hybrid!"

O'Neill's face was best described as "meh." "You heard the princess"

"AMBASSADOR-Princess, Large Bagel." Lyra said, obviously enjoying the title annoyance.

"Would you quit it with the nickname game, Scoot?"

"Scoot?"

As Lyra and O'Neill descended into the nickname-war, Carter groaned and prepared to dial the gate.

A few moments later, the stargate deactivated, and Carter dialed out back to Earth. Lyra made sure she was the last one through, strumming a chord on her guitar just before she left. "And now, alpha site goes boom." She walked through the gate, and her shield deactivated.

Alpha site went boom.

And with that, the Beta Site was suddenly given a promotion.

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The Ambassadors were of mixed opinion.

Anfar was obviously displeased with the events and was obviously going to recommend avoiding the Alliance (and the Goa'Uld) at all costs.

Hern was rather amused by the antics of the meeting, and looked forward to having several arguments.

Joyce was unreadable. He said, in a monotone, that he'd recommend joining the Alliance. He didn't say why, or if the higher-ups would agree to it. That was it.

Lyra said, by her power as ambassador-princess, Equestria was now part of the alliance. She yelled PANTS as she left.

Seth smiled. Considering, all things ended up pretty well. But now it was time to return to Hoseki. "CHIRSSA! Come on we've got to go."

Chirssa, currently in Criss form, giggled. "I'm not going."

"What?"  
"I've joined SG-13! Yay!"

Seth blinked. "Did… ALL of you agree to this?"

"Five out of six majority vote!"

"Who was the grumpy one?"

"Chirss. He doesn't like teamwork. Or people." She said, shifting to Crissa.

"Well good luck." He said, smiling. Then he waved, stepping through the stargate.

Chirssa turned to Patema. "Can I meet the other members yet?"

"Tomorrow. Right now, BED."

Crissa became Chris. "But… party time!"

"No. Bed. Stat." She dragged him down the hall.

O'Neill chuckled. This Chirssa character was going to be… interesting.

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An hour later, Miranda dialed in. She walked through the gate, looking like she had had the worst possible day.

"Oh! Miranda! Forgot about you!" Deadpool said, grinning. "I must say that was an oversight on their part wasn't it?"

She glared at him. "I had to teleport in and out of a large high tech space-ship, hijack a pyramid ship, fly to another star, find a stargate, and dial here. All with minimal levels of power. You will not make me angry."

"I don't care. Shooby-dooby-do"

Miranda glared, pointing her finger. The fireball that came out was pathetic, sizzling into the ground with a teensy amount of smoke. She raged internally.

"See? You can't do jack squat to me-"

A fireball hit Deadpool in the face. A much more impressive one. "There's internal magic…" Miranda muttered. "That has to be recharged. And then there's the magic that's all around us, in the thaumic fabric, that we can use by manipulating it." She glowered. "That is exceptionally weak in this universe but it is still enough to get off a fireball. Now excuse me. I need sleep."

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Anubis looked at the file. He put his hand out in front of him, and slowly a ball of energy coalesced between his fingers.

The secret of magic was his.

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DPEDVVDGRU-SULQFHVV OBUD KHDUWVWULQJV, SULQFHVV RI SDQWV ... KDQGV

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 **AN:**

 **Several of the readers: OH NO. NOT PONIES. NO. NONONONONONONONO.**

 **GM: Yeesh they don't play a big role at the moment and there's only three characters so far.**

 **Readers: KILL THE PONIES**

 **GM: you all need to grow up. I'm including basically anything that's remotely popular in here at least in some way. Yeesh.**

 **Readers: BURN!**

 **GM: man. You have problems.**

 **BR: I LOVE UNDERTALE ALSO I LIKE PANTS**

 **GM: Pony killers are gonna have a bad time. *meteor impact***


	17. January 16: Evolution

**AN:**

 **GM: and we have a new chapter, another one based on an actual Stargate episode! Kinda. Get ready for Goa'uld everywhere!**

 **Nobody's claimed the 25 followers reward. C'mon!**

 **FB: Hiya! This is my first chapter! (even though I didn't really work on it… :P) My name is either FunnyBunny or Fabulous Burrito, you try figuring which.**

Monday, January 16: Evolution

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Dead Jaffa. Dead Jaffa everywhere.

Teal'c and master Bra'tac stared at the piles of bodies before them.

This was not the old Alpha Site, as one might assume from yesterday's events. This was supposed to be an espionage mission. A look into the alliance of two minor Goa'Uld: Tilgath and Ramius. Tilgath was among one of those dead.

Teal'c leaned down over a Jaffa. "This one's alive. What happened here?" He asked him.

"A… warrior. Stronger than any of us. He killed everyone. We managed to allow our lord Ramius to escape, but… oh no.."

A small burst of yellow plasma hit the weak Jaffa, killing him. Teal'c and Bra'tac whiled around, firing their zat guns. The arcs of electric plasma coursed through the air, landing dead center on a humanoid completely covered in obsidian black armor. The bolts made the warrior twitch, but nothing more. The warrior raised his arm, revealing a gauntlet with a miniature staff weapon on it. He then proceeded to fire dozens of rapid-fire plasma bolts.

Teal'c and Bra'tac dodged the bullets, returning fire. The warrior didn't even care that it was being hit, but it had failed to hit either Teal'c or Bra'tac.

Teal'c, realizing the zat gun was doing nothing, leapt into the air, tackling the warrior, pinning the arm with the rapid-fire weapon. The warrior simply grabbed Teal'c with his other hand, and threw the Jaffa as if he were a baseball. Teal'c hit the ground with a THUD, dazed. The warrior raised his arm, gauntlet ready to fire, only to be hit by a zat blast, throwing his aim off. He turned to face Bra'tac, stumbling. Then, for seemingly no reason, he started having a seizure and fell over.

The two Jaffa stared at the impressive warrior, who had just died right in front of their eyes.

What had happened?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"This is what we're calling a 'Kull Warrior'." Carter said, gesturing to the body on the 'experimentation table.' "It is a genetically modified human host for a Goa'uld. The Goa'uld symbiote is normal in all regards, except that it appears to have a smaller brain that normal. The human host, on the other hand, seems to have been designed to create the perfect athlete, strength, speed, and just overall power. The armor only helps, seeing as it absorbs most energy blasts."

Carter's father, Jacob, continued. "He appears to have been created by a device based in Sarcophagus technology. The body was fashioned, but wasn't alive when created. It couldn't have been, this level of strength can only be maintained for a few hours normally, a few days if you had a symbiote."

O'Neill furrowed his brow. "So you're telling me that this guy has a lifespan of like, what, a week?"

"If he's lucky. Possibly more if the suit offers some life-support function we aren't aware of."

Bra'tac spoke. "Is that what killed him? Old age?"

"Heart attack." Carter muttered. "His heart just decided 'nope, not pumping over 300 beats a minute any longer' and died."

Jacob's face twitched, and his voice changed. His symbiote, the Tok'ra Selmek, took over. "The Sarcophagus was created by the Goa'uld Djehuty, one of the oldest of all Goa'uld. As old as Anubis and Ra. Djehuty created the original Sarcophagus from an Ancient device of some kind, we don't know what it was though. The original Sarcophagus had problems, such as anyone with a human host would be unable to use it, seeing as it would try to 'fix' humans, creating several mutative problems. A Goa'uld known as Telchak managed to create the modern version of the Sarcophagus, one without any physical problems. However there were obvious mental problems, which as you know drive most Goa'uld to mad conquest."

Carter blinked. "Wait Djehuty? The guy who was at the conference?"

"Yes."

"As much as I love a good story…" O'Neill muttered. "What's the point of all this Sarcophawhatzis history?"

"What we have here appears to be a human altered to be in peak physical condition, in such a way as it is actually harmful to the human, similar to the effects of the original Sarcophagus. If we could find it, or the Ancient artifact it is based off of, we may be able to learn more about these Kull Warriors."

Daniel looked deep in thought.

"What is it Daniel?"  
"This… reminds me of a legend my grandfather was working on. The Fountain of Youth. He was convinced the Fountain was an artifact, rather than an actual fountain…" Daniel blinked. "I'm remembering something. Ascension memories. A device…" Daniel clapped his hands. "Anubis must have reconstructed the Ancient device using his ascended memories, and is using it to make these soldiers!"

O'Neill rolled his eyes. "Great. So we know what Anubis is using. How does the Fountain of-"

"Because I'm pretty sure that's what the original Ancient device is!" Daniel rubbed his hands. "Excuse me while I do some research and plan a road trip… I'll be ready within the hour…"

Teal'c raised his eyebrows. "What if the Fountain is on the other side of the world?"

"Prometheus transportation." Daniel said, as he ran out of the room, research already going on in his mind.

"Allllright then…" O'Neill muttered. "The rest of us are going to find this Djehuty guy."

Selmak sighed. "You should be warned that he is… difficult."

"Really?" Carter responded. "He seemed rather willing to listen-"

"That's because instead of a desire to go around conquering, he got a desire to invent everything. He invented zats, as well as virtually all the other Goa'uld technology you've gotten to know so well."

O'Neill whistled. "Never let Doc Fraiser get her hands on this guy."

Janet Fraiser's hatred of zat guns was legendary. She had treated many patients for the annoying gun blasts, and she never could quite come to terms with how they affected the human body. She just couldn't find a single treatment for zat blasts.

Carter shrugged. "I still fail to see how that makes him difficult."

"He's a Goa'uld who has the capability to think and change. You've had enough headache with Ba'al to know that that ISN'T a good thing." Selmak huffed. "Ba'al's Djehuty's son, come to think of it. His only son."

O'Neill frowned. "Ah, so a crafty fella eh? We can handle him. MIRANDA!"  
"Yes, sir?" Although Miranda had begun to use the word sir, it was laced with a spell that made O'Neill feel insulted every time she used it. So O'Neill twitched before responding.

"We are going to a clever person. Confuse him when we get there."

"Of course." She said, grinning. "Am I allowed to inflict physical, mental, or emotional harm?"

"No, we might need him." O'Neill. "SG-1 minus Daniel! LET'S GO!"

And with that, SG-1 minus one left.

A few minutes later Daniel asked for transportation to Honduras.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Doctor Bill Lee was not a member of any SG team. He was not an adventurer. That being said, he was among the ten smartest people employed under the US government, and head civilian scientist for the SGC. He was just _smart._

He was also one of those people with the weird combination of a bald head and scruffy beard, making it look as if his hair was in constant war over control of his skull.

"A road trip! Man it's been awhile since I've been out of the office…"

Daniel nodded. "It's been awhile since I've been anywhere on Earth aside from the SGC and Colorado Springs. Strange isn't it? I travel around the universe yet I don't get around the planet. We should take advantage of this!"

Lee looked around, scratching his chin. "You know, this place is full of rainforests. Everywhere. We really looking for the Fountain of Youth?"

"Yep. My Grandfather was looking into the legend, and with knowledge obtained from the SGC, I believe we can find it!"

"You mean the device I invented that looks for Ancient alloy signatures?"

"But of course." Daniel said, grinning.

Lee smiled. "At least I get to see… well a lot of rainforest." He said, gesturing at the rainforest surrounding them.

The guide, whose name was unpronounceable to both doctors present, gestured deeper into the jungle. The doctors followed.

A toucan screamed at the top of its lungs. The doctors paid it no mind.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"SG-1 minus one! BEHOLD! Djehuty's planet!" O'Neill said, gesturing to the… rather normal looking world. There were trees, it was green, and a little ways away was a Goa'uld ship, which was on the ground.

Teal'c took point, prepared to talk down and/or shoot any Jaffa who appeared. He was surprised when several Unas came out of the trees, their reptilian skin dressed in Jaffa warrior armor, crafted to fit their body type.

The lead spoke. "Ah, father Djehuty has been expecting you. Come."

O'Neill groaned. It was usually a bad sign when they were expected. But what could they do other than go along with the crazy Goa'Uld? They _were_ looking for him.

The four of them were led right into the ship, which was lined with many half-circle glyphs with three lines coming of the bottom of them. The symbol of Djehuty.

Sitting atop the throne was the Unas inhabiting Goa'Uld himself, looking at them with a smile. "Welcome SG-1, the faces of Earth!" He beckoned. "Come, we have much to discuss."

Miranda jumped in. "Really? I'm pretty sure we don't have much."

"Oh, the otherworldly mage. You are quite the interesting quandary, little Miranda."

"I'm taller than most humans, and AS tall as most Unas. Not little. Thin and lanky, perhaps, but I prefer to think of it as angular. Perhaps thorny."

Djehuty shrugged. "Whatever you wish. Of course, if you really didn't have much to say, you could just tell me what you were here for, and be on your way-"

"Kay then. All your doughnuts."

Djehuty blinked. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Yes.. I don't have any…"

"Doughnut holes?"

"No."

"Pop tarts?"

"Why would I-"

"Sweet rolls then."

"I am not the alican ambassador."

"Alican?" Carter said, blinking.

"Alicorn-man. Or woman."

"How do you know about that?" O'Neill asked, squinting.

"I have my ways. Though in this case it was because of her relation to your escape from Anubis' onslaught. I really do wish to meet her someday." Djehuty sighed. "But that brings us to why we are here. Anubis and his new fancy warriors, yes?"

O'Neill nodded. "They giving you trouble?"

"Anubis already declared war on the system lords. Yes. We are all having trouble. Though he had been leaving me alone until recently."

Carter nodded. "We think we might know why. You invented the Sarcophagus, and may have the ability to render his warriors useless."

Djehuty blinked. "How would-"

"We got a dead one." O'Neill offered. "He needed sarcophagus-like powers to keep him alive. Or to create him. Or something."

Djehuty slowly turned, thinking. Then he began to briskly walk down a hallway. "Follow me!"

SG-1 minus one followed Djehuty down a long winding maze of corridors that most certainly was NOT the standard layout for a Goa'uld ha'tak. Carter took a moment to understand how brilliant this was for a Goa'uld. Even Ba'al hadn't specially built his ships to confuse the enemy. Carter was also noticing there there appeared to be no Jaffa at all, only Unas. Ra was the only Goa'uld they had encountered that didn't use standard Jaffa, and he had just used humans. This was extremely odd.

Djehuty led them into a room with six sarcophagi. "These are the originals. Not fit for humans, I'm afraid. Has nasty effects that can only be countered by major surgery. Which is what I assume the warriors have…"

Carter nodded. "They have been genetically enhanced to be the perfect athlete, but without the lifespan. They require a Goa'uld to live any reasonable amount of time at all. At least, from what we know. We did only have one to look at."

Djehuty nodded. "Yes, that would be how it works… The better you make them the more likely they are to just sieze up and fail…" He grunted. "My son has the only other prototype... And the original device was lost long ago. How could he-?" He blinked. "Of course. He's half ascended. He would have all the ancient knowledge he needs…." He began to rapidly type on the sarcophagi. "Running simulations… I think I may be able to find an energy signature that can neutralize them…" He grunted. "Not going to be anywhere near as handy as the zat'nik'tels, but useable…" He stood back. "This will take a few minutes… Anything you wish to ask of me while we're waiting?"

Carter opened her mouth, but Miranda beat her to the punch. "TOAST?"

Djehuty sighed. "No, Miranda, no toast…"

"I got one." O'Neill said. "Why are you so… helpful?"

Djehuty smiled. "Ah. Could be several things really. Could be that I'm not infected with the psychological damage of a normal sarcophagus like the other Goa'uld. Could be that you are useful to me. Could be that I'm just not like the others. Could be that my host for the week is in a jovial mood-"

"Wait back up." O'Neill muttered. "Host for the week?"

Djehuty nodded. "When a Goa'uld inhabits an Unas, a bit of a… fusing of mind occurs. In contrast to the complete dominance we exert over human minds, the emotions of a Goa'uld and Unas intertwine in ways that are rather exhilarating. I am dominant, of course, but the host, who is by the way named Nark, can offer suggestions and such. You amuse him, Miranda. However, this blending means that a Goa'uld cannot stay in a Unas host for too long, for the minds can become so closely intertwined that they cannot be separated. And I personally think that no matter what, a host doesn't want to serve you forever."

O'Neill widened his eyes. "You give them the choice?"

"Of course. I'm not a barbarian. Unlike most." He chuckled.

"Why don't you work with the Tok'ra then?" O'Neill asked.

Djehuty turned around, looking right into O'Neill. "Have you ever been in the same room as a Tok'ra for several hours? I see by the wincing look on your face that you have. Now imagine being the only person any Tok'ra will be willing to meet and be constantly demanded upon, untrusted, and looked down on day in and day out." Djehuty smiled. "I got fed up a few thousand years ago. Went a little mentally unstable. Still am, somewhat. Only Goa'uld mad scientist I believe. Also the only Goa'uld anthropologist."

O'Neill frowned. On one hand, this guy did seem like the nicest Goa'uld he had ever seen, even more so than the Tok'ra. But not only did that leave a bad taste in O'Neill's mouth, it also stunk like a fishhook. Like they were being lured. Which was technically possible even if the guy was telling the truth. Djehuty was crafty, he could be manipulative and still be completely honest. He was no doubt smart enough for it.

O'Neill decided he didn't have any choice but to trust Djehuty. For now. "So what's the science say?"

"The wa- on the Sarcophagus. Let me see-"

At that point, they heard the screaming of several Unas.

"What the- nobody can get in this deep." Djehuty said. "Last attack was stopped by the zat turrets-"

"You have zat turrets?" Carter said, blinking.

"Of course. There came a point when I stopped sharing my inventions with the other Goa'uld. Back when I realized they were all becoming jerks from the Sarcophagus. My technology is much higher than that of my brethren."

The crashing and screams were getting louder. Everyone prepared themselves.

Just as the noise seemed to be right next to them, it ceased.

O'Neill's tactical brain suggested one of two reasons: that the creature saw them as a threat, best to be avoided. OR that they were the target. The latter was probably the correct assumption.

They guarded both entrances into the room, weapons drawn. Miranda was chanting something, setting up magical rings in the room. Which meant she was casting something complicated, though not necessarily powerful. She was still exhausted from yesterday. She didn't have all that much power to channel.

Then the Kull Warrior dropped in from the _ceiling._ Blasting the Sarcophagi with its rapid fire weapon. Miranda's traps triggered, launching magical energy spheres at the warrior, only to have them absorbed.

"Seriously?" Miranda and O'Neill yelled at the same time, O'Neill barely having time to return fire before he was flung to the side. Djehuty pointed a hand at the warrior, his glove sending forth thousands of zat blasts into the being's chest. It absorbed all of them.

"Impressive craftsmanship." Djehuty said. "What I wouldn't do to get ahold of Anubis' plan-"

Djehuty's musing was interrupted as he was shot with one of the rapid bolts, falling to the ground.

Teal'c and Carter opened fire, only to realize their weapons were completely useless.

Miranda did the smart thing. She turned her color scheme to fiery red, heated her hand to core-of-the-earth temperatures, and punched the Kull Warrior in the face.

It knocked him out.

Miranda flexed her wrist. "Well. That was annoying."

Carter blinked. "It absorbed your magic-"

"Anubis scanned me." She growled. "He scanned me while I teleported so he could find a counter for me. Absolutely wonderful. The armor is infused with void crystal, eating up any magic energy shot at it."

"How did you-"

Miranda rolled her eyes. "If I create a sword out of thin air, it's just a regular sword. I can heat my hand up, and it will stay hot, laws of thermodynamics permitting."

"Ah."

Djehuty stood up and dusted himself off. "Well, that was fun."

"How are you-" Carter began again.

"Staff weapon resistant plate in the clothing."

"Ah."

Djehuty looked at O'Neill. "She always like this?"

"Generally, yes."

"Hey!" Carter yelled, insulted.

Djehuty groaned as he observed the room. All the Sarcophagi were broken. "This is bad for so many reasons…"

"Reasons being?"

"Those were our only known way to destroy the kull warriors, AND if I start to use the other Sarcophagus' I'll start going crazy!"

Everyone stared at him.

"A different kind of crazy. Megalomaniacal."

Still stares.

He sighed. "My son has the only other one… Perhaps he would be willing to loan it…" Djehuty blinked. "Wait. That means-"

"-Ba'al is a target." O'Neill finished, facepalming. "Round em up troops, we gotta go save Ba'al's ass."

"Sir, why would we-"

"Carter, he has something we want, and unlike most other Goa'uld he might actually give it to us if we help him. Yeesh."

Djehuty nodded. "I can get you to him." He turned to the kull warrior. "Though we should probably seriously restrain this warrior first, so we may study him on the way."

"On the way?"

"My son is currently on a world with no stargate, from what I know. We will fly there." He tapped a console. "Unas! Kree!"

"Yes, father."

Djehuty turned around. "Now, let's study ourselves a warrior shall we?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Back on Earth, Scully groaned. "Mulder, why are we going to Honduras?"

"A tip."

"Last tip we had lost us Lightning."

Mulder twitched at this. He was still recovering from the events in Gravity Falls… or rather he was recovering from not remembering ANYTHING. He remembered waking up next to Wendy, and having her remember nothing either. They questioned her about her duplicate, but she knew nothing about it. And the town was just that… a normal town in the middle of nowhere. With a tourist trap and everything.

Scully still didn't know how she had been convinced to throw away fifty bucks for a shirt.

Mulder turned to Scully. "We can't just live our lives fearing what might happen again. We must move on, continuing to search for the truth. We still have the information on her pad, and Lyre-"

"Yeah, I hear ya moldy. I'm the best." the Fal'cie's voice muttered.

"Lyre, we're on an airplane. How are you contacting us?"

"Hacked into a company's radio antennae after exposing their insurance fraud to a major newspaper. Why?"

Mulder looked at Scully, as if to say _this is why he is useful._

"Gotten into the super-secret government databases yet?"

"Nope, o great and moldy one, but I sure am trying. I must admit, your alien theories are lookin mighty likely, seeing as most of the coding blocking those areas are written in their own unique languages. I shall strive to work out their intricacies. None shall beat ME!"

Mulder smiled. Despite losing Lightning, Lyre's personality of always being annoyed had calmed down a lot over the last few days. He was much easier to work with now, even if he was a bit annoying.

Scully nudged him. "Get him to shut up. People are staring."

"Lyre?" Mulder asked.

"Yeah?" The Fal'cie responded.

"Be quiet. You heard Scully."

"Ah, the great and skeptical head-bone. See you later. I'm going back to hacking government secrets and watching cat videos. I am watching you. Cat face! Bye."

Mulder was frankly quite surprised that the Internet had improved Lyre overall. Frankly he would have expected the Internet to scare the little being's psyche permanently. A thought occurred to Mulder. Maybe it had, and this personality change was just Lyre's way of coping…

"This is your captain speaking…" Lyre's voice said, coming over the airplane's intercom. "We are about to land. Please, fasten your seatbelts you thin and flaky bags of meat, so we may touch ground with the flair of a million cats being dropped from a helicopter. That is to say, we shall land on our feet."

Mulder groaned at the failed poetic nature of that statement.

A moment later the real captain informed everyone they were about to land, sending much confusion through the passengers.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lyre sent his eyes through the Internet, enjoying the ride. The entire PLANET was interconnected. Sure, Cocoon had had similar connections, but as a pilot Fal'cie he wasn't allowed to do such things. Now, here he was, able to do what he wanted. He didn't even _have_ to do the hacking Mulder wanted him to do. He was valuable enough as an extraterrestrial life-form.

And now that Lightning was gone, although it was a bit of a sad thing, he was now free to do what he wanted. Which was annoy the crap out of people, more or less.

He had found he had quite a fondness of pranking. Removing all the money from someone's bank account only to put it back an hour later. Sending memos that had the word "squirrel" censored. Such fun.

Wait what was that?

He reigned himself in, looking closely at a video feed at the Honduras airport. There was Mulder, Scully… numerous other people that he was identifying and getting entire criminal records on. Yeesh. Honduras was not a very pretty country was it. But he saw someone else exit the plane last.

Cain.

Yep. That was something to tell Mulder about.

"YEAH MULDER? YOU GOT CAIN RIIIIIIIIGHT BEHIND YOU."

Mulder whipped around, seeing the somewhat familiar hooded face see him, and run off.

"Crap." Mulder muttered. "We can't catch _him."_

Scully nodded. "But we know he's here. We have him at a disadvantage."

Mulder sighed. Cain had many advantages, losing the advantage of surprise wouldn't be a problem for him. "Let's just get moving. A certain doctor who works in that top secret Cheyenne Mountain flew here for some reason. I intend to find him. Preferably in a jungle where there won't be soldiers guarding him at all times. Lyre? We're going into the jungle."

"I know that reception is going to be spotty. Trust me I've got a good radio anteKKKKKKK okay maybe noKKKKK byKKKKKK" The voice of Lyre slowly descended into complete static.

Mulder rolled his eyes. "Best get moving."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Daniel, Lee, and the guide found it.

Next to a river, there was a hole in the ground. A cubic hole, made of stone.

"I wonder why these things never get found until we start looking for them…" Daniel started to muttered. "I mean, it's right here."

"This is snake country." The guide said. "I'm only here because you're paying five times the regular fee."

"We are?"  
"You are now."

Lee chuckled. "We can afford it Daniel. Now, let's find this Fountain of Youth shall we?"

Daniel nodded, and leapt into the hole. Lee blinked. "Wait, don't we like, need some rope, some harnesses, or some safe way of-"

The guide pushed Lee in. He landed with an "OOF."

"Well then... " He muttered. "That's one way I suppose…"

"Remembering why you don't do field work?" Daniel asked.

"Yep…" Lee looked up to the guide. "You coming down?"

"You crazy? Snake pit down there. You're on your own."

"Greeeat…"

They walked several yards down the chiseled-stone cavern, coming to a dead end. "What now?"

Daniel blinked. "All water flows to the healing device."

"What?"

"Legend of the Fountain of Youth." Daniel undid his canteen, and poured the water out. The water flowed down the cracks of the stone, eventually stopping at a particular stone that, at further inspection, seemed loose. Daniel pried up the stone, revealing a hidden compartment.

Unlike the rest of the tunnel, which was made of completely unmarked stone, the cubic device within the compartment had writing all over it. Each of the six faces had writing along the edge, with a dip into the center of the device, which was a dull central crystal. Presumably meaning that the device was not on.

Lee shrugged. "At least it has writing on it."

"Yeah"

"What's it say?"

"I have no idea."

"Oh." Lee said, surprised that Daniel didn't know.

After a moment, Daniel continued. "This is the technology of the Sarcophagus - which by itself either causes madness or physical harm. This is supposedly something far more powerful. So accidentally activating it would be _bad."_

"Okay."

Daniel stared at the cube for a moment.

"Let's try picking it up without touching it too much."

Daniel reached into the compartment and pulled out the cube, touching it with just two of his fingers.

At that point, the trap activated. Water jets began spewing at them.

Daniel, rather than yelling and swearing, just sighed before he bolted. Lee, on the other hand, did yell and swear before bolting. He was not used to the ancient booby trap trope.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder and Scully frowned. Thier guide did not look trustworthy in the slightest. For one, he held a gun. For two, he kept giving sideways glances.

For three, he kept reminding them why they were here.

"You hired me to find those people who went out earlier. Doctors from America. I agreed. We will find them."

Mulder was about to consider ditching the guide in favor of braving the jungle on their own. However, he was pretty sure Cain was following them, having seen him out of the corner of his eyes a few times. Three on one was better than two on one.

"There." The guide pointed, showing a man standing over an ancient hole.

Which was quickly filling up with water.

Mulder and Scully ran towards the hole, grabbing the hand sticking out. They pulled Doctor Lee out of the water, coughing and sputtering. He looked into Scully's eyes. "This… I could get used to this."

Scully let out a huff while Mulder pulled out Daniel and the Ancient healing device (which was luckily still off). "Hi there Doctor Jackson. Name's Agent Fox Mulder, and boy do I have a lot of questions to ask you-"

"To be asked at gunpoint?"

"What? No! Why-"

Daniel pointed behind him. Mulder turned to see his guide pointing a very large gun at his forehead. Behind the man were five or so others, also armed with big rifles.

"You will come with us, Americans."

Mulder grumbled. Just great. Captured.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"What will you give me in return for giving you that Sarcophagus?" Ba'al said, obviously amused that both SG-1 AND his father had come to him. He flexed his wrists. "I mean, I do have projects-"

"You did meet us here with just a single Ha'tak." Carter observed. "You probably have all the time in the world to toy with us."

"Fair enough." Ba'al said, standing up. "Offer me something."

"You are likely going to be attacked by Anubis simply because you have that Sarcophagus."

"Oh I know this. I'll get attacked even if I give it to you. The dark Goa'uld is a pain in the rear for all of us, I'm sure we can all agree."

Djehuty sighed. "Give it to us and we'll give you the information on how to defeat them we glean from it."

"I need more."

"And anything we get from the unconscious Kull Warrior we have on our ship."

Ba'al's eyes widened. "I'll send someone right over. Deal. Now, dear father, can we talk for a mome-"

Djehuty hung up. "I made a Goa'uld immune to the effects of the Sarcophagus. He becomes a manipulative snake. Sure, he's probably the nicest to his subjects of all Goa'uld, but he still has a problem."

" _A_ problem? As in singular?" O'Neill laughed. "That's liberal."

"Yeah yeah." Djehuty muttered. "Let's just meet this someone and get our studies over with…"

At the ring transport, a man appeared. Apparently human.

"Hello there!" The man said, his oddly spiky black hair bouncing. His voice was just… a voice. It was unique, manly, and yet somehow squeaky at the same time. It was oddly soothing. "I am Ma'al. Servant to Ba'al."

Djehuty blinked. "Oh no. He's begun to procreate."

"Do not be ridiculous, Djehuty. I am through-and-through human." He smiled. "Now, show me where this Kull Warrior is."

"Ba'al would never allow a _human_ to be this… arrogant in his presence."

"Times change, Djehuty. He changes. You made him that way. Onwards!"

The six people arrived in the study room. Several Unas were poking the Kull Warrior with a staff weapon, making it hiss. Djehuty shooed them away. "Now… tell us everything and maybe we find a way not to kill you. Probably not, but it is possible."

"I serve Anubis…" The thing said with a strange hissing voice.

"Yes, we knew this already. Anything else?"

"I serve Anubis…."

"You see here, mister Kull warrior, I'm a nice man. Unfortunately my desire to experiment on things tends to get in the way of that. You can stop that urge by being helpful."

"I serve Anubis..."

"Gah!" Djehuty yelled. "Bumbling idiot!"

Ma'al smiled. "What's the matter? Being difficult?"

"Yes." Djehuty said, grumbling. He took a disc-shaped device out of his hand and slapped it onto the Kull Warrior's skull. "I don't like using this thing…"

Carter gaped. "That looks like a Tok'ra memory device!"

"It is, pretty much, although it is heavily modified. Let's see what he's thinking…"

The device beeped, displaying a holographic image. A starfield.

"Wow." Djehuty said. "He's really good at evading the device. Just a starfield-"

Ma'al grinned. "Ah. The night sky. Looks like he is telling us something."

Carter blinked. "Djehuty, do we have a way to find out which planet has the stars look like that?"

Djehuty blinked. "You know what yes I do…" He pressed several buttons on a nearby terminal. "Let's see…" He blinked. "Great."

"Where?"

"Tartarus. A planet that was left to rot long ago." Djehuty blinked. "The PERFECT place to build a base of operations no-one would look for."

Ma'al smiled. "I say we go joint-operations and bust down Tartarus' front door! What do you say, set aside our differences and work together?"

"Won't your Lord want to have the say so on that?"

"He won't mind."

Djehuty blinked. "Gah. Whatever. Fine. It'll take us half a day to get there, the place has no stargate. Call your people and tell them you'll be a while. Pah." Djehuty stormed off, leaving everyone in the lab.

O'Neill looked at Ma'al. "Do you know your way around this ship?"

"No."

"We're going to be lost for the next few hours."

"Most likely."

"Wonderful."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

As SG-1 minus one sailed towards Tartarus, on Earth, the minus one plus two agents and a doctor were sitting in a wooden shack.

Their captor paced in front of him. "I want to know what the artifact you found is, but I'm tired and I'm going to get some sleep first. I also want to know why you were here looking for that. ALL of you. But not right now, I'm a patient man. I'll just let you think really hard about what you're going to tell me in the morning." He leaned in towards Mulder. "Your government sickens me. The only reason I don't kill you is because you can get me money. Good money. Ransom money, for those of you will lower intelligence." Scully let out a snort at this. Their captor glared at her. "As I said, I'm not going to do anything yet. I'll wait till morning. My boys will draft up a ransom note, all that stuff. And I will get what I need."

As he left, he turned around. "Oh, and by the way, if you try anything, you die. If your ransom doesn't get paid, you die. If anyone attempts to mount a rescue, you die."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"PERMISSION TO GO SAVE DANIEL SIR!" Patema said, panting.

Hammond blinked. "How did you hear about that? I just got the report a minute ago!"

"Jinora did her spirit thing. A little bird told her. Whatever. We know. Let us go."

"Are you sure-"

"YES."

Hammond sighed. "Fine, I'll get the Prometheus to beam you over. You will be given any information you have upon arrival. I doubt you'll be able to do much until morning, however-"

"We can try." The small leader of SG-13 said, steadfast.

Operation rescue was A-go.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

On Tartarus, Anubis looked at his latest experiments.

At this rate, he would have an army even the great Asgard couldn't hope to defeat. Even the Hoseki, perhaps.

The only bad side to this was that he'd needed help to accomplish it…

"Well…" his new ally said. "This certainly is promising. We need more power though. They can acquire it?"

"Yes. They can. Do not worry Tirek. We will not fail."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

SRQB KHOO: FRPLQJ VRRQ WR D SODQHW QHDU BRX!

[[][][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: Djehuty is actually form a fanfiction I read a while ago, a Stargate and Avatar crossover. I have since completely forgotten what it was or who wrote it, but the idea of Djehuty stuck with me. If anyone knows** _ **who**_ **wrote Djehuty, please tell me so I can credit them.**

 **Now, the EVOLUTION Arc has begun! :D Such fun. Much wow. TO BE CONTINUED….**

 ***meteor impact* I keep dying…**


	18. January 17: Tartarus

**AN:**

 **GM: The next part of the Arc... DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!**

Teusday, January 17: Tartarus

[][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"BZZZZZZRT!"

Daniel screamed out in intense pain, his bloodshot eyes letting out streams of tears that mixed with his sweat, creating a puddle on the floor that only made the electric torture worse. He shuddered involuntarily, shuddering.

"You have been trained well…" The man, Raphael, said. "Not many men can claim to have withstood electric torture." He shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to try another prisoner…" He turned to his men, ordering them to take Daniel back. They lifted the trembling man, dragging him out of Raphael's hut. They were in a clearing, surrounded by jungle on all sides. Piles of weapons, ammunition, and explosives were everywhere. The houses were makeshift sheds composed of wood, scavenged timber, and collapsable metal plating. There were a few piles of computers and a radio antenna, though there was no chance Daniel would get past the three guards around the antenna to radio for help. He was tossed back into the prisoner shed, the smallest of the buildings, but also the one with the most locks.

Lee, Mulder, and Scully looked up as the great archeologist, now reduced to a shuddering mess, was returned to them.

The two men then grabbed Lee, who began to shake.

Daniel managed to look Lee in the eye before he was taken. "Be strong."

Lee barely had time to nod. Then the door was slammed and locked again.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Chirssa (currently Criss) was jumping through the treetops, breathing heavily. Birds cawed and squaled, quickly flying out of her way, their multicolored feathers swirling in the air.

It was catching up to her. She needed to get back faster.

She grabbed a branch with her left hand, the bark digging into the palm of her hand. She twisted her body, sailing over small woodland creatures. She kicked off the trunk of the next tree, it's elasticity giving her more forward momentum, launching her above the canopy for a brief moment, the sun glinting off the morning dew. She did a somersault in midair, landing atop a large umbrella-shaped tree, bouncing along the canopy.

She heard a tree snap behind her. It was still coming. She cursed, attempting to increase her speed even further.

Enhanced agility was her power as Criss, and it was most helpful in situations like this. However it didn't help as much as one would hope when the thing chasing you was a natural predator used to running through the jungle.

She was really mad that Chirss and Chris were having an argument and couldn't be bothered to come out of the mindscape and take action. They could probably face the creature head-on.

Her only chance was to return to camp, hopefully the others could deal with it.

She grabbed a vine, flinging herself through the air, landing with a roll on the ground. Bugs and squirrels scrambled out of the way as she beelined for the camp. She ran into Wendy at high speed. "Hi!" she said. "Big creature angry!"

Deadpool drew his swords and Patema drew her gun. Jinora simply took a fighting stance.

A large jaguar leapt out of the jungle, only to have Jinora blast it into the ground with a psychic push. The jaguar yowled before going limp. Jinora sighed. "Chirssa. Why. Didn't. You. Take. Care. Of. That. Yourself?"

"Chris and Chirss were having an argument and wouldn't come out!"

Wendy glared. "You can't seriously expect us to accept that can you? You need to learn discipline-"

"BAH! Boring. Pffft. I'd much rather learn how to make cotton candy."

Deadpool gave a thumbs up. "Have I mentioned how much I like our new team member?"

"Only a million times." Wendy muttered. "And if you like her, that is probably a good indication something's up with her."

Jinora silently nodded in agreement with Wendy.

Patema sighed. "Come on guys! Give her a chance!"

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Chrissa, why was the jaguar chasing you?"

Chirssa pulled a kitten out of her pocket. "Might it have something to do with this absolutely adorable baby I absolutely HAD to cuddle?"

Patema facepalmed. "Chirssa… Give me the jaguar kitten."

"Why?"

"The mother wants it back."

"But…." She shoved the kitten into Patema's face. "ISH JUSH SHO ADOWABLE! I couldn't possibly give her up- oh look a flower!"

Chirssa dropped the kitten onto the ground, rushing to a flower. She sniffed deeply, lodging a bee into her nose. She screamed like she had just lost her arm. Slowly, the screaming noise turned into one giant sneeze, rocketing a bee out onto the ground.

Wendy and Jinora turned away, their point having been made.

Chirssa started frowning and giving them puppydog eyes, but they weren't letting it affect them.

"Don't worry Chirssa." Patema said. "They'll warm up to you eventually…"

Jinora twitched at this remark, but said nothing.

Deadpool nustled the kitten into the jaguar's unconscious form, patting them on the head before moving on. He did have a weak spot for cuteness, after all.

"Never say that sentence ever again."

Oh uh.. okay. NEXT SCENE.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _The Legend of Tartarus_

 _Long ago, before the time of the Sarcophagi, a Goa'uld whose name is lost to time colonized the world known as Tartarus. It was a mostly desolate world, suitable only for a secret base where experiments were conducted. The nature of the experiments is shrouded in mystery, but it could be assumed that they were extremely dangerous, seeing as the entire base exploded in a tremendous explosion from an unidentified source shortly after it was established. Centuries passed, and other Goa'uld colonized the world at different locations._

 _Every single colony vanished without a trace within a month of establishment. There were virtually no signs the colonies ever existed._

 _The planet was left to rot, labelled as a place to avoid at all costs._

 _The last colony, Arkatur, was founded one thousand years ago by a Goa'uld who liked to ignore labels, Asath. He kept extensive records, transmitting everything to a ship he kept in orbit. He wanted to analyze everything and find out what was making the colonies disappear._

 _For two weeks, everything was normal. The colony didn't thrive, seeing as resources were somewhat scarce, but that wasn't abnormal._

 _Then the strange things started happening. Jaffa reported seeing creatures out of the corners of their eyes. Dark, horrible creatures that hunted Jaffa for sport. No-one actually saw any of these creatures in the light… Well, without becoming insane anyway. Or dying._

 _A day after the early reports of creatures began, all the records became corrupted. There were mentions of Asath locating the a seal of somekind, of a creature with vast intelligence attempting to leave the planet, of creatures pouring forth, never to cease._

 _The ship that was in orbit around Tartarus self destructed the next day. The records contained within a recovered data crystal are the only we have of the colony of Arkatur. No one has been back to Tartarus for a thousand years._

"That is…" Ba'al said, closing the file. "Other than Anubis, apparently. And he's been busy."

Carter nodded. "A full satellite defense network, designed to detect ships…"

Djehuty nodded. "And even though he only has one Ha'tak around the planet, I'd bet that it's one of his improved ones that could easily take care of our two ships."

"I'm going to ask the obvious question." Miranda muttered. "How are we seeing him and he not seeing us?"

Everyone went silent.

"CRAP." O'Neill muttered. "He CAN see us can't he?"

Djehuty scratched his reptilian chin, digging under one of his scales. "Most likely. I wonder why he hasn't made a move."

Carter observed the scans. "He's watching us to see what we will do." She growled. "We need to get into that base. But we don't have the firepower-"

Ba'al grinned. "Then we need a plan."

O'Neill grinned. "Let's just distract the Ha'tak and get into the base on foot."

"One problem there sir."  
"What is it Carter?"

"The compound is shielded."

"Destroy the shield! FIRE AWAY!"

"That'd likely destroy the base sir. We want information, we don't want to just wipe the base out of existence."

O'Neill pouted, turning to Djehuty. "Can we PLEASE just blow it up?"

"I am sorry but I agree with your subordinate on this one. We need information. We must breach the shield some other way."

Miranda cracked her knuckles. "I have an idea to distract the ship and breach the shield."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Yoda and Luke observed the jedi-in-training. They were all showing remarkable progress in their powers, seeing as they all had a natural affinity for it.

That being said, many were doing better than others. River was the best, currently focusing on meditating while using her Force powers to float in midair, a trick even Yoda found somewhat difficult. She was a true prodigy. Odo and Kara were far behind, able to use their powers offensively easily, but not with much precision. Leia was barely able to do anything at all, and Rainbow Dash… well…

"Come ON! I'm juiced up with power, have the speed of lightning, and I'm NOT ABLE TO MOVE STUFF WITH MY MIND! I knew it was only for unicorns…"

"You only need to focus on your inner self…" River said from her meditative state a few feet above them. "Find the life-force, and expand your horizons."

"Or." Kara said, tossing a punching bag at RD. "Alternatively, you could just keep sucking."

"I DO NOT SUCK! I am 20% cooler than all of you!"

"You're a frakking _pony._ "

"You're a bucking _blonde."_

Kara slowly turned to the blue equine, her face contorted in barely controlled rage. "Excuse me, care to repeat that?"

"Bucking. Blonde."

Kara leapt after Rainbow Dash. The pegasus dodged out of the way with her incredible agility, launching into the air and looking down on Kara with a smug look. "What's the problem, am I too _cool_ to catch?"

"Why you little-"

"GIRLS!" Luke yelled. "PEACE! CALM! You need to calm down!"

Kara and Rainbow Dash glared at each other, before breaking off with a pair of huffs.

There was an uncomfortable silence, broken only when River jumped into the middle of the room, her custom lightsaber shining into existence. The blade was a deep, dark blue, bringing forth images of the depths of the oceans. Aside from the deep blue color, the lightsaber seemed normal. But Luke knew better, having made the mistake of assumption last duel. He wondered if anyone else would make the same mistake…

"Has anyone else completed their lightsabers?" Luke asked.

Leia produced her normal blue blade. Nothing special about it. She also wasn't that good with it.

Kara smirked at Rainbow Dash, drawing her dual guns, flipping a little switch on them, having two yellow lightsaber blades come out from under the gun's barrel. "Dual pistolsabres. Each pistolsabre is able to fire 5 bullets a second, and can turn their meter-long blade on or off with a flick of a switch, and can easily be holstered at your side with a simple belt." She smiled. "And the pony has nothing."

"IM WORKING ON IT! You do realize that I have HOOVES right? I might, you know, NEED A DIFFERENT DESIGN?"

"I've seen you pick up things."

"The stickiness of the hoof isn't as precise as a hand."

Luke held up his hand, diffusing the situation before it could get worse. "Kara, duel River. And please use non-lethal rounds. I'm getting enough trouble from her brother already, I don't need to give him more reason to come storming in here." Simon had stormed into the Jedi building in the Metropolis numerous times over the past few days, demanding that River be taken back to Serenity. River said no in that cute, yet infuriating, way of hers.

River and Kara took up stances on opposite ends of the room, weapons drawn.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin. "I'm betting River wins."

Odo shook his head. "Kara's a soldier, she may not have as much power but she understands strategy."

Leia sighed. "Can we not take bets and just concern ourselves with actual training? We might learn something from this."

Kara reacted first, hefting one of her blades into a sword position, pointing the other forward and letting loose a stream of bullets. River started moving to intercept the bullets before they even left the gun, the deep blue disintegrating every last one. The girl leapt into the air, blue flashing. Kara brought both her blades up, stopping River's between them, the sound of the blades meeting shaking the eardrums of all present. River used the friction between the blades to launch herself into the air, rotating a full 360, and planting a foot in Kara's face. Kara stumbled back, barely deflecting numerous blows coming from the blue blade. She brought her foot round to smack River's head, but River held up one of her hands, twisted Kara's ankle, throwing her to the ground. River pointed her blade at Kara's forehead, smiling. "You lose!"

"Be a lesson in humility, let this." Yoda said, looking at Kara. "Strong, you are. Unbeatable, you are not."

River sheathed her sabre, grinning. "I look forward to the day when you are able to challenge me!" Then her smile vanished completely. "Two of the other three are coming. They will be here today." She turned to Luke. "You need to prepare."

"What?" Luke said, River just blinking at him.

After a long silence, she spoke. "Do you have any fish sticks? I need a peace offering for Simon. He's still more ticked off than… well… he's normal. Still. Fish sticks?"

"Um… in the kitchen."

"Thanks!" River said, prancing off.

Rainbow Dash yawned even though it was still morning. "I think I'm going to go check in on AJ and Lightning. Work on my lightsaber. Thank River for the rainbow crystal if you see her again." She took off into the air, leaving a rainbow trail.

Luke waved his hand. "You are free to go. Training resumes at noon. Go about your day. Don't let those crazy Baltar cult members get to you."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Darth Vader tapped his fingers in boredom. Ahsoka hadn't tried to escape for an entire day, and the barren sectors were exactly that. Barren.

Vader understood that his mission was an important one, looking for a last-ditch attempt at possible victory against the Replicators. That didn't mean he had to enjoy scanning star system after star system. Barren planet after barren planet. Time and time again.

They were deep in uncharted territory. They had discovered a few anomaly worlds, but none with any sign of technology at all. Absolutely nothing.

The screen displayed the colors that made up hyperspace, indicating they were moving on once again. A minute later they dropped out of hyperspace, in another star system.

Vader stood up, looking at the planet. It had oceans and clouds. Continents. Scans were picking up satellites and debris.

But the planet itself looked dead. There were only tiny patches of green, dispersed far and wide.

It was old. Perhaps this was the place they were looking for.

"We're going down." Vader called. "Assemble a squad of Stormtroopers to accompany me to the surface." He turned, cape furling. At least it wouldn't be boring anymore.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Serah tensed.

The trooper she had replaced had been selected to accompany Vader to the surface.

This was good and bad. Good because she might get an opportunity to take him out. Bad because she would be in close proximity to him and likely to be found out. She would have to hope she never had to speak. All troopers were male after all…

She put on her armor and hoisted her weapon.

That didn't matter. Vader still needed to go. He had killed the one person who had showed her any kindness. He was a tyrant. He had to go, regardless the cost.

Serah ran down the halls, going to the docking bay. She stood at attention with the other troopers. She saw her enemy, the black-armored and caped sith lord, Darth Vader. He walked down the hall, cape billowing in the unseen wind. His horrible breathing echoed throughout the area, driving itself into Serah's ears.

She was tempted to summon her crossbow into existence and shoot Vader right then and there. Then she took a moment to think, and realized there was the "too many witnesses" problem. She'd have to wait till they were on the surface.

As they descended, she pondered how she was going to pull this off. The plan of summon crossbow and keep shooting until the dark lord was dead was plan A. Perhaps she needed a better plan. Perhaps she could blame another trooper… Maybe she could make it look like an accident…

No…. she wanted Vader to KNOW. Down there, it was only him and her. The other troopers didn't have any power of their own. She would take him straight on when the moment arrived. It would be down there. He would know exactly who was killing him.

She barely realized when they landed. Darth Vader and the troopers stepped out to a grey world. The ground was desolate, covered in gravel and dust. The sky was grey, glazed with desolation. Ruined cities could be seen over the horizon. Patches of weeds and grass could be seen around, struggling to survive in the environment.

Serah was taken aback. She'd heard of worlds that destroyed themselves with war, but she'd never actually seen them. The Empire attempted to avoid the glassing of worlds.

And to think, this world was almost recovered. This was far from the worst.

"Come." Vader said in his echoing voice. "We detected a strong energy signature this way."

The troopers raised their guns, looking for any hostility. They moved along the gravel plain, looking for any signs of life. Aside from the plants, there was nothing. It was, more or less, dead.

Then they came across a structure that seemed to be assembled from various ruined buildings on a whim. There was no real planning aside from "make it big enough to be a suitable shelter, and make it out of strong materials." A soft glowing light could be seen coming from inside.

Vade led the way in, glancing around for signs of trouble. Serah momentarily forgot her mission, the novelty of the structure's interior catching her eye. There were screens everywhere, papers connected by string everywhere, and random scribblings left scattered around. In the center of the room was a softly glowing machine. As Vader approached it, the largest monitor came on.

"I am the last Cylon Three, D'Anna Biers. I chose to stay here on Earth- or as the inhabitants called it, Ophich - not expecting to live long. I had, honestly, made the decision planning to die here within a few days. I… don't know what changed my mind, but I decided to learn as much as I could about this place. This is my final message before I am taken to Terra, a home I never expected us to find. I'm recording these messages so that those who find this place after us will not only have access to all the information of the lost Colony of Ophich I've managed to uncover, but also so you can follow us to our new home. We are accepting all refugees from any side of the conflict, Cylon or Colonial. Terra is the second planet from the yellow star exactly 3 parsecs away from here. More detailed instructions can be found on the chip plugged into the generator. Come, visit us."

The screen went black.

Vader frowned. This was not the device they were searching for, but it most certainly proved that there were civilizations in the barren sectors. And that there might still be one. Their next step was obvious.

It was at that point he felt a disturbance in the force unlike anything he had felt before. He felt somewhat sleepy. All the troopers did as well apparently, seeing as they all fell asleep instantly. Vader whirled around, his crimson lightsaber appearing within his hands.

Glaring right at him was an amethyst-haired young woman in stormtrooper armor. He was holding a crossbow to his face. "You will pay for what you've done."

How had he not sensed her before now? She was emanating a Force-based energy unlike anything he had seen before. He didn't let his emotions show, however. "You will put that unusual weapon away, fool."

"I am no fool. You are the fool!" Her face contorted in rage. "I was lost in a place I knew nothing about, surrounded by those who would kill me just for a mild profit! And then YOU came along and killed the ONE PERSON WHO HAD SHOWN ME ANY KINDNESS"

Vader glared through his mask. "It is what I do, woman. I kill others." He took a step forward. "I've killed a dozen people this week alone. Hundreds over the past few months. You expect me to remember you or your friend? It is nothing to me anymore." He took another step. "It is just my way."

Serah twitched. "Fira." A spiral of fire shot off the crossbow, intersecting with Vader's red blade. The lightsaber absorbed the entire spell. Vader swung his blade forward, which Serah dodged with ease.

Serah smirked. This might be easier than she thought. She fired magical bolts from her crossbow in rapid succession, Vader obviously having difficulty deflecting them all.

"You are a pathetic excuse for an evil overlord. My sister faced true evil beings, and they were much stronger than you." She twisted her crossbow into a blade. "FLAMESTRIKE!"

Vader leapt back from the flaming blade, bringing his own back in a wide arc. Serah raised a hand and cast Reflect, sending the red blade back. She rushed Vader once more. "FROSTSTRIKE-"

Vader used the Force to rip the weapon out of Serah's hand. "Foolish girl. You think I'm fighting at my full potential." He turned his mask to look deep into Serah's soul. "I am simply buying time as I study an unknown enemy." He raised his hand, using the Force to lift Serah off the ground. "Your abilities seem to either be channeled through your weapon or your voice. Since you are disarmed and I have your throat compressed, you are powerless."

Serah's eyes widened in fear. He was right. She couldn't do anything at the moment. She tried to breathe, but failed. Her vision began to go fuzzy.

"It's time to die, foolish woman."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"WHEEE!" Chirssa (currently as Criss) yelled, running into the forest.

Jinora took a deep breath. The.. _replacement…_ was irritating, useless, and was likely to compromise the entire mission at a moment's notice. Even Deadpool wasn't this bad. He had skills and some actual _intelligence_ to back up his craziness. This crazy girl did _not._

And Ty Lee was going to come back. They didn't _need_ a replacement anyway. She was going to come back…

Wendy snapped her fingers, bringing Jinora out of it. "Why can't we just pick up on Daniel's tracker?"

Patema sighed. "Something's interfering. We got SOMEkind of signal, but the best we can tell is that he's in this forest somewhere... "

"Jungle!" Deadpool corrected.

"...Fine. Jungle. He's here somewhere, we just need to keep looking until we find him."

All at once, their radios began to crackle.

Patema blinked. "I thought there were no towers out here..."

"***s th***** o**** h**llo! U****frequ***y. STABLE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

Patema blinked at the strange voice. "Who… is this?"

"Ah you're the rescue team right?"

"Yes… who is this?"

"I am Lyre." The voice said, as if that was an amazing credential. "I'm… that isn't important. What is important is that some acquaintances of mine have been kidnapped and are being held by the same group that's holding your doctor's hostage! _And I've just hacked into their camp through their antenna!"_

Patema blinked. "Do you know where the camp is?"

"Three miles to the southwest. Big clearing. Can't miss it. I can only hear their radio conversations though, so I can't give you troop movement or anything. They don't have security cameras…"

Wendy grabbed her radio. "Who are you? Why should we trust you?"

"You shouldn't. But I gave you a lead. If it is a trap at least you won't be tromping around the forest randomly anymore now will you?"

Patema and Wendy had identical "I don't trust this voice but we don't have anything else to go on" looks.

Criss jumped in smiling. "THREE MILES THATAWAY? OKAY!" She took off running.

SG-13 collectively sighed. Lyre, after a moment of silence, sighed as well. "She's not the smart one is she?"

Jinora and Wendy deadpanned. "No."

"Well get your metaphysical brains on and go after her! Or I could flood the radio with cat noises. I love cats… I didn't until a few days ago but I love em now..."

SG-13 was silent.

"What are you waiting for? Go after her! Yeesh! Harbingers of doom or whatever." Lyre winced. _I'm starting to lose my edge…_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Doctor Lee was tossed back into the shed looking like the life had been beaten out of him. He didn't have the physical trembling Daniel had, oh no, only the distraught look of a man who has given in and given up. He sagged. "I told them everything…"

Daniel sighed. "You did what you could."

"He's going to try to activate the device."

Daniel's eyes widened.

"I take it that's bad?" Mulder asked.

"Very. We have no idea what the effects of the device are…"

"Am I allowed to ask what it is?"

"No, Mulder, you are not."

Mulder squinted. "We're both in a life-or-death situation, and I still don't get to know anything?"

"Nope. While I do respect you and your work, we just can't have you knowing some things."

Mulder shook his head. "What secret can you possibly be keeping that I haven't suspected already?"

Daniel smirked as he coughed. "You have no idea." If the Stargate and the war was revealed to the public before the war was over… catastrophe. And Mulder couldn't be trusted not to say anything.

"Do we at least have a plan to get out of here?"

"Wait for rescue."

Scully huffed. "That's an excellent plan Doctor Jackson."

Daniel shrugged. "Got any better ideas?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Hoseki's primary mode of FTL transportation was something known as a Crystal Field. The magical thaums would harden into a pure-magic crystal around a ship, forming a shell. This shell had the capability to bend space in any manner of ways. While the Hoseki had since begun using much faster modes of travel (intergalactic hyperdrive in particular) the Crystal Field had the benefit of not actually requiring any technology to function. All you really needed was a skilled mage.

Which Miranda Marlowe most certainly was. She generated a pair of goggles and slapped them on her face. "Mission distract the Ha'tak in orbit is ready." She turned, grinning to the rest of SG-1. "Wish me luck! I'm going to see how annoying I can be to that floating pyramid! And I'll record it all to show the Triangulum.. ahahhahahh…" She leapt into the death glider, blasting off into space.

"I have the sneaking suspicion we've somehow doomed the universe." O'Neill deadpanned.

"indeed." Teal'c responded.

The pink crystal encased the death glider, and the fighter became a FTL menace. Anything that travels at FTL speeds not only sees the world in a completely distorted light, but is seen BY other things in multiple places at once. Any sensor that isn't wormhole or magical based would have a very difficult time pinpointing the location of an FTL object.

And, as it turned out, Anubis's specialized Ha'tak was NOT able to determine where the fighter was. It just shot it's plasma weapons at its best guess. Which was never on-spot.

Miranda grinned. Her magic power was still drained from the big fight a while ago, so no spaceship-shattering explosions. But she could be _really_ annoying.

She summoned several ethereal space grubs. They went right into the ship.

Sure, they were mostly harmless. But they were the size of a small truck and could go through walls.

Pandemonium was going to ensue. Giving the other ships the time to land outside the shielded base and initiate the second part of the plan.

Ba'al's and Djehuty's Ha'taks descended to the surface as Anubis' was… occupied. They descended so quickly that fire coursed around the bottoms of the crafts. They landed with a ker-thunk, right next to the edge of the base's barrier.

Out of Djehuty's ship a single figure walked out, dressed in obsidian-black armor. The figure hoisted the rapid-fire weapon, ready to fire.

O'Neill grinned. He looked just like a Kull Warrior. Though he wasn't wearing the suit for it's disguise factor (which probably wouldn't work anyway) he was wearing it for the energy-deflecting effects the suit had. Djehuty and Carter figured that the suit could deflect any sort of energy barrier and that O'Neill should be able to just _walk through_ the barrier.

O'Neill marched through the barrier, smiling as he realized it worked. He turned around, gave a thumbs up, and marched onwards towards the base, arm cannon ready.

He reminded himself that any weapon, including the one he was currently using, would have minimal effect on him through the armor. Though if a fully realized Kull Warrior decided to go hand-to-hand he was doomed because of its physical superiority.

O'Neill walked towards the base, keeping it cool. Spying out the structure in the mountain. On the lookout for strange and unusual creatures that might try to attack him.

He was expecting everything to go very very wrong at the drop of a hat.

"What are you doing out here?"

And O'Neill was pretty sure that was it. He slowly turned around to look into the face of a very old looking and grumpy Goa'Uld. He prepared to take him out.

"You need to come into the lab immediately for a checkup! We're gathering all the warriors! Come on!"

From outside, all anyone would be able to see was a Kull Warrior obeying and following the Goa'uld to the lab. Inside the suit O'Neill's face was stuck in a permanent jaw-drop. It went horrendously, stupidly, _right._ Ookaythen.

O'Neill's brain didn't work for the next few minutes, which was exactly as long as it took to get to the lab.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Applejack looked at the tree saplings' progress. They were already at three years progress. Well, progress for growing naturally. Her earth magic was improving the growth speed considerably. Within a month there should be fresh apples. However growing trees this fast taxed her. Extremely. She was going to need a really long nap soon. Like, within the hour soon.

Rainbow Dash flew a cloud over the saplings. She proceeded to kick the cloud, pouring water over the thirsty saplings. Applejack nodded to her old friend as she left the field. The trees could survive a day without magical nourishment.

She passed Lightning in the street.

"Any luck?" Applejack asked.

Lightning shook her head. "I don't think Serah's here."

"What're ya gonna do then?"

"I don't know. Stealing a ship won't go over well, and I'm not even sure I could find her." Lightning clenched a fist. "There must be something I can do…"

Applejack shrugged. "You could train with those Jedi I s'pose."

"No. They won't give it to me unless I join their new order. I'm not becoming a member of anything."

Applejack nodded. "Well, tell me if ya find anything. Also tell me if you find out where Baltar's varmints are hiding. They need a good bucking. And a few of them need some skull cracking. If ya know what I mean."

"Of course." Lightning started to walk away, when something drove a spike into her heart.

"She's in… great pain…" Lightning said, shuddering.

"Yer sister?" Applejack said, running over to support Lighting.

"Yes.. though I'm not sure how…" Lightning let out a scream, magic visibly pouring off of her.

 _I have to… do something… SOMETHING… anything..._

Her eyepatch flashed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Serah gasped. She was just about to pass out. She-

Heard a sound that could only be described as scissors cutting through the dimensional fabric of space-time. Then the voice of a teenager screaming "WHEEEEE" in their most excited girly voice.

A swirling portal appeared in the air before them, ejecting a blonde girl in a light blue shirt-skirt and a somehow cute devil-horn headband. She barreled right into Darth Vader, knocking him over. "OOOPS! Sorry mister! I didn't- hey this isn't Earth…" She scrunched her face incredulously. "The scissors always go where I want them to…" She gasped dramatically. "THEY MUST HAVE A PORTAL BLOCKER THERE NOW! But it wasn't there this morning-"

"INSOLENT CHILD!" Vader yelled, grasping the girl's neck with the Force. "YOU DARE-"

The girl lifted one of her arms, revealing a strange wand with half a star symbol on it and what appeared to be a pair of wings. A beam of rainbows (which were on fire) shot out, hitting Vader square in the stomach. He fell backwards, feeling drained.

The girl, now obviously very ticked off, raised her wand. Her mouth formed two words that had struck fear into many opponents over the course of her fourteen years of life.

"Narwhal Blast."

Darth Vader didn't even attempt to make any sense of the wave of pointy sea mammals hit him and sent him flying.

The girl grinned one of the goofiest smiles of all time. "TAKE THAT BLACK TURD! STAR TOTALLY JUST OWNED YOU! WOOT WOOT!" Star turned to Serah. "Hi! Was that bad black man bothering you!" Star slapped herself. "Gah! Marco said to stop saying that... " She grinned.

Serah blinked. "Uh… yeah he was. Is he dead?"

"Probably not." Star said, her grin somehow getting even bigger. "You look lost. COME ON! I've got just the place!" She grabbed a pair of scissors out of her dress, cut through the fabric of space-time. A portal popped into existence. Star grabbed Serah by the arm. "WE CAN BE LOST AND PARTY!"

"But-" Serah began, but was cut off as they ran into the portal, which closed behind them with a SHUNK.

Darth Vader leapt back towards them, ready to beat the living tar out of them.

He was very _very_ annoyed when they weren't there.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning blinked. The pain had been lifted.

"I'm fine Applejack. Really." She stood up. "I was probably just experiencing phantom pain or something."

Applejack wasn't buying it by a longshot. "Go see a doctor. I would order you if I could."

Lightning sighed. "Fine."

The doctor's wouldn't even find evidence that there had been any pain aside from an increase in adrenaline.

[][][][][][][][][][][[][][][][][]

O'Neill sat in the laboratory. The Goa'uld tapped the monitor. "Now let's make sure your suit is operating correctly… hrm… aside from some environmental damage it seems fine… Well that's an odd reading-"  
Whatever the Goa'uld had discovered was instantly forgotten as Anubis strode into the room, followed by a cloaked figure that most certainly wasn't humanoid. O'Neill didn't even recognize the shape.

Anubis spoke. "How many have spawned?"

"Thousands my lord! There will be millions before the week is over!"

"Adequate" The Goa'uld of shadow responded. "We need to do something about those Ha'taks camped outside our base. The army is ready for battle?"

"Of course sir. Though why don't you just attack them from orbit?"

Anubis fired a Zat gun blast at the Goa'uld. "You should learn not to ask questions." He growled. "If you were competent you would realize it might cause the shield to overload."

Anubis' companion grunted. His voice somehow carried with it a feeling of ridiculous age and power. "Isn't the shield supposed to protect the base?"

"Indeed. From basic Ha'tak weapons. Ours are several hundred times stronger."

The hooded companion nodded. "We should summon the creatures forth to aid the Warriors."

"Soon, Tirek, Soon."

As Anubis and Tirek left, leaving O'Neill alone in the room with a stunned body. He shrugged, walking out of the room.

Time to initiate the next phase of the plan. Which was, amazingly, still plan _A._ It was almost always plan C by now. O'Neill walked (in soldier-marching fashion) to the Shield Generator room. He cracked his knuckles, removing a crystal drive from his pockets. He stuck the drive into the Shield Generator, and smiled as the thing powered down.

O'Neill gaped as the drive did what it was supposed to and _didn't_ trigger the alarm. No alarm.

How was his luck so good today. How. _How._

He shrugged, pressing a button to give the others the go-ahead signal. He decided to do some more snooping.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ma'al, Djehuty, and SG-1 walked towards the lab, weapons drawn.

They arrived at the lab uncontested, sneaking in through a back entrance. They had to avoid several patrols of Kull Warriors. They were extremely lucky that the masks actually hindered some of the warriors' peripheral vision.

They soon arrived in a larger room with a large tank in the center.

A Kull Warrior arrived on the other side, weapon drawn.

"We're screwed" Carter muttered, hefting her weapon.

The Kull Warrior raised its hands. "IT'S ME! COOL YOUR JETS!"

"Oh." Carter said. "Sorry sir."

"That's the luck I'm used to. Almost getting shot at. So what do we have?"

Teal'c walked up to the tank, which housed a very fat Goa'uld. "It's a queen."

Djehuty investigated the various tubes and pipes coursing through the queen. "How… tragic. Her young are being harvested… How is this possible?"

Carter moaned. "Djehuty got ahold of Jonas Quinn's memories a while back. He would remember a mission where other people performed this same procedure to make some kind of medicine… It's what Tretonin is based off of. The Queen would have many offspring and their fluids would be harvested."

Ma'al grinned, fascinated. "Amazing… forceful production of more Goa'uld… A most clever way to make an army…"

"The problem is that the Goa'uld would be mindless." Carter observed. "I mean-" She blinked. "The Kull Warriors' Goa'uld had a smaller brain size. How did I not see it…"

Djehuty looked at the queen with a distraught look. "Such a horrid experience… A life doomed to aid in destruction… We must spare her or her misery."

O'Neill nodded. "We've got LOOOOOTS of C4. Still can't believe we're in Plan A…"

Carter nodded. "We got in, got our information, and now all we have to do is get out and light this pop stand."

"That's my line, Carter."

"Sorry sir."

Djehuty put his hand on the glass tank, sighing. "Such suffering…" He whirled around. "Anubis will pay."

O'Neill grinned. "That's what the C4 is for."

They slapped a few bricks of C4 onto the tank, then ran out of the room. On the way out, they found a window. Directly out that window were thousands of Kull Warriors, all saluting Anubis. The dark Goa'uld's voice could be heard echoing across the warriors. "MY WARRIORS! OUR FIRST BATTLE IS TODAY! WE SHALL FACE OUR ENEMIES WHO ARE RIGHT ON OUR FRONT DOOR!" He raised up his hands. "WE SHALL TAKE THE MULTIVERSE!"

He turned. "Lower the shield so we may conquer."

A few moments later…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SHIELD IS ALREADY DOWN?"

O'Neill nodded. "Yep. That's our cue to get out of here. STAT."

Ma'al grinned. "Of course! I always do enjoy a good run with friends!"

"WE AREN'T FRIENDS SNAKE!"

"Oh but we are!"

"CAN IT BEFORE I CAN IT FOR YOU!"

"Ah your earth phrases…"

O'Neill yelled without any kind of words. They ran out of the lab, dashing across the desolate landscape of Tartarus towards the ships.

"BLOW IT UP!" O'Neill yelled.

The C4 complied, destroying a large chunk of the lab.

O'Neill whooped "WE DID IT! PLAN A WORKED! WE GOT IN, BLEW STUFF UP, AND GOT OUT! YES! HOT DOG! CARTER! WE ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN DID IT! WOOOOO-"

Then Ma'al screamed, blabbering something about the eyes of insanity staring at him.

SG-1 and Djehuty intelligently decided _not_ to look behind them at whatever abomination there was, but just continue running. O'Neill blindly pointed his Kull Warrior arm weapon behind him, blasting… something. The sound of pain that reached his ears tempted to destroy his eardrums.

Then a very _happy_ crunch sound could be heard. O'Neill, somehow, just _knew_ that was the sound of Ma'al being bitten in half.

The three members of SG-1 and Djehuty ran as fast as their little legs could carry them, not daring to look behind them.

Djehuty radioed the ships. "OPEN UP! AN ABOMINATION IS CHASING US!"

"How do you know-"

"I JUST KNOW D*****!"

The sound of a being trapped in agony for eons resounded through the air. The sheer force caused the group to stumble.

Djehuty took a deep breath, shut his eyes tight, and leapt into the air. He performed a perfect backflip, firing at the abomination with his ultimate zat weapon. It shrieked in agony, emotions pouring into the minds of all nearby. Lesser minds would have panicked.

The rapid zat seemed to do the trick, because the presence of the abomination seemed to lessen, and the sounds seemed to get further and further away.

They ran back into the ships, which took off as soon as they were aboard.

O'Neill painted. "Okay. So plan A ALMOST worked without a hitch. That's the best yet!"

Carter was shivering. "Such.. pain… and agony… what WAS it?"

Djehuty shook his head. "Whatever it was, it was why Tartarus is uninhabitable. I wonder how Anubis has managed to avoid those things…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"They got away from your abomination, Tierk. This is disappointing."

The being chuckled. "Patience, Anubis, they only managed to outrun it. Had any of them laid eyes on the creature they would have broken. Even fifty percent of Kull Warriors break upon the sight of them."

"Perhaps. But it was not as effective as I had hoped."

"Do not worry. We have an army now."

"That we can no longer make more of thanks to the incompetence of the Kull Warrior guard! **HOW DID THEY GET IN?"**

Tirek raised a finger. "Control, Anubis, Control. Losing our cool will not help us. We still have an army of abominations and Kull Warriors that have no weakness. Unless someone found the original Ancient device and figured out the coding, nothing can easily defeat them!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Raphael, terrorist, looked at the glowing alien cube on his desk.

He. Felt. _Weird._

He felt more energized than ever before. Unfortunately it seemed like everyone was out to get him.

He had already killed two of his advisors. They had said the cube was unnerving. They obviously wanted it for themselves.

Even though Paul only had half a brain and had never demanded pay for anything he obviously was grabbing for power. That was the only answer.

They had to see the power that it was bestowing. They HAD to! THEY HAD TO.

He twitched, firing his gun into the ceiling.

That had started feeling much more normal over the last few hours.

Maybe he should go kill the hostages?

That sounded fun. He would. Who cared about hostage money, they were in the way.

Send a message. Yeah that's right. A message. A message to ALL. ALL MUST SUFFER.

He kicked down the door and marched to the shed. He ripped the door off it's hinges. "DYING TIME B-"

A girl punched him in the face. "Back off! This is a rescue mission!" Chirssa grinned, shifting from Criss into Chris. "And the wonderful ladies do not need to have dying time." He punched Raphael in the jaw, causing it to crack.

Chris muttered. "Ow. That… actually hurt. Normal humans don't make my fist hurt-"

"THE CUBE HAS BESTOWED ME WITH POWER!" Raphael grabbed Chris' wrist, twisting it. Chris flipped over into the ground.

Raphael kicked Chris behind him, for the men to take care of. He looked into the shed, seeing the four prisoners.

The four _untied_ prisoners.

He got four simultaneous punches to the face on his already broken jaw.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP RAPHAEL?"

Behind him, Chris turned into Chirss, and began to dice the men before they could even get off a few shots.

Raphael charged, fist flying faster than should have been possible.

Daniel met the fist, his hand lighting on fire.

Raphael stepped back, his fist singed. "What… what are you…"

Daniel sighed. "I had really hoped that I wasn't special... " He shrugged, before kicking up a block of earth and throwing it at Raphael's face. "But I guess my power really is stronger than the boundaries between universes…"

Scully gawked. "He just.. He just…"

Mulder squinted. Not so much because of Daniel's strange ability, which wasn't all that odd in his line of work. He was wondering about the boundaries between universes Daniel had just mentioned.

As Chirss diced the entirety of the terrorist camp, Daniel took out Raphael by simply smashing a large slab of stone into him.

It was over.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Patema blinked. "So let me get this straight." She lifted up a finger. "First, Chirssa unties you." She raised another finger. "Then she goes all evil and kills virtually the entire terrorist camp, injuring the leader's jaw…" She lifted up a third. "Then Daniel discovers that, somehow, his powers carried over from the Elemental Nations Universe… " Then she lifted up a fourth. "And then you just turn off the Ancient Healing Cube with the _first button you press?"_

Crissa and Daniel nodded.

There was silence. Wendy whistled in admiration.

Deadpool gave Chirssa the thumbs up. "AWESOME GIRL! Slaughterhouse! Successful rescue mission!"

Chirssa smiled. Patema let out a sigh of relief. They were liking her now. That was a good sign.

As they began to talk amongst themselves, Jinora glared.

This couldn't be happening.

This shouldn't be happening.

Ty Lee would be back.

She had to come back.

She would _not be replaced!_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder and Scully sat in the lobby, waiting for a plane back to the States.

"So… they didn't make us sign a nondisclosure agreement… or threaten to kill us or anything." Scully commented.

Mulder ate a sunflower seed. "Yeah. But they didn't tell us anything either. Which means what we saw wasn't anything important enough to make sure we disappeared. Maybe we just don't have enough information to cause them any real problem."

"Or maybe they're just nice people."

"I doubt that. Everyone has ulterior motives in the government. Even us."

Scully nodded at that. "Lyre, did you get anything during this?"

"Nope, one of red-bell hair. Just a lot of fighting the static. I could tell you a lot about those terrorists and their plans, though I've already sent that to the world governments. Still got virtually nothing on the people who were taken. Haven't seen Cain around either. It's like he just… vanished…"

Mulder frowned. More questions than answers.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Cain grunted.

It was just an SGC mission. Nothing of major importance.

The Foundation already knew all about them. They had decided not to get in their way.

Cain lit his hand on fire, sighing. Lightning had vanished.

He was just a regular SCP agent. As regular as an SCP agent could be of course. But still…

He felt like he was supposed to do something.

He let out a sharp breath, walking away.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Darth Vader was drumming his hands on his desk.

He had been beat up. By a little girl. With a wand.

He couldn't really deny it.

he didn't want to admit it though.

And then they had just vanished.

Great.

He punched through a wall. At least they had a lead and would be there in a few minutes.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ahsoka paced back and forth.

What was she going to do. She couldn't stay imprisoned like this. She needed to get out, to become free. She needed to-

Then she saw something appear on the room's screen. Which was odd, considering how it had been black until that moment.

~I AM ERROR~

~TILE 13 7 3 IS LOOSE~

Then the screen went black.

Ahsoka blinked. Then she counted thirteen tiles away from the screen, then seven the other direction, then… the third corner was imperceptible bent. She pressed down with her finger, and the tile shifted.

She smiled. Breakout time.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Then the Imperial Star Destroyer appeared above Terra.

Alerts fired off from all sides. The Command Carrier appeared in front of the destroyer, the Federation ships flanking behind. the Galactica and the Basestars filled the other holes.

The Star Destroyer was trapped.

Darth Vader slammed his mask into the desk.

Well, they'd _found_ them…

[][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

River's eyes widened. "The two have arrived, the final shall come."

Hera's eyes widened. "The two have arrived, the final shall come."

"God's" eyes opened for a moment. "The two have arrived, the final shall come."

Q's eyes widened. "The two have arrived, the final shall come."

Then Q blinked. "Why did I SAY that?"

Q opened his mind, searching the metaphysical plane for anything.

What he found was a wheel of symbols, with a starfleet insignia at the center.

It had been haunting his thoughts ever since he had created the fleet.

What did it mean…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

YDGHU DQG DKVRND... DQG RQH RWKHU

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: STUFF IS HAPPENING! WOOOOT!**

 **The 18th will wrap up our little "to be continued" fest we've had this arc. Stuff is going to go DOWN later... Expect us to post a chapter every Monday and Friday until we catch up with how far we've written ahead. And with that...*meteor impact* Thus, I am dead this day, and will return later. TAH-DAH!**


	19. January 18: Alliance

**AN:**

 **GM: here we go! The 18th! Some things that have been referenced for a while are finally happening. STUFF STUFF FUN YAY!**

 **Also (I believe) this ends our perpetual to-be-continued arc. For now. The finale for January will be drawn out across four episodes.**

Wednesday, January 18: Alliance

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Vader looked at the man on the screen in front of him.

President Lampkin was… an interesting character to be sure. Most definitely shrewd and observant, though he appeared to possibly not have a complete sanity.

"I must point this out, mister Vader. We are at war."

"You are a combatant that I was not aware of."

"Secret forces are an important part of war, Vader."

"Agreed. However, we had no intention to come here in war. We were on an exploration mission."

"Yes I've read your mission statement. Both the unclassified and classified versions. You are looking for a really old device that could solve the Replicator problem."

Darth Vader glared. "How did you get access to the classified-"

President Lampkin grinned, thinking of a certain AI currently on the Enterprise. "That is not your concern. Well, actually it is, but we're not stupid enough to tell you anything. We just know." He sat back.

Darth Vader nodded. "Since you know, you know our mission is for your benefit as well,"

"Yes, we are aware of the Replicator War. A galaxy-wide menace."

"I really want to know how you managed to get involved with the Rebels without us knowing."

"Our first contact with your people was on Tatooine the day of the Infestation."

Darth Vader glared. "Did you cause it?"

"Of course not! Your own people have reported an extragalactic ship impacting Tatooine at the epicenter of the Infestation."

Vader nodded. That was true. "I recommend you let us continue our search, so we may stop the Replicators from infesting the entire Galaxy. Which includes you."

"I know this. But I don't trust you in any way. You are most likely to conquer us after the Replicators are dealt with. I don't see any way around that."

Darth Vader sighed to himself. This man was too smart. "Then it looks like we will have to fight after all."

"Despite your superior technology, you _are_ heavily outnumbered."

"I know. But I can't allow the Replicators to take the entire Galaxy." Vader leaned in. "Even I have standards, mister President."

Lampin furrowed his brow. "What if we kept you under our supervision as you looked for this device?"

"I will not be supervised."

"How unfortunate." Lampkin said. "I guess we will have to-"

Someone said something to Lampkin from across the room.

"What? Are you sure?"

Lampkin's eyes widened.

"Well then…" He said, turning back to Vader. "Apparently master Luke wishes to speak with you."

Darth Vader tensed. His son _wanted_ to talk to him? That… was unexpected.

The face of Luke replaced Lampkin. The young man had a stern look on his face, but also a sad one. "Father."

"Son."

There was a silence.

Luke broke it with a sigh. "I'm one of the leaders of the rebellion now. Let's talk as leaders in a war."

"As you wish." Vader said.

"I believe I speak for everyone involved, Imperial, Rebel, Terran, and possibly even the Covenant when I say that the Replicators are a threat to us all. They exist simply to replicate and become more plentiful, and all of us lack the technology to face them. Alone, that is."

"What are you suggesting?"

"This Galaxy is for all of us. We should defend it together and settle our differences later."

"You are a wishful thinker, Luke Skywalker."

"I heard you were once as well, Anakin Skywalker."

Darth Vader squinted. It had been a long time since he'd heard that name. Who'd told him. Obi-Wan? But the dead Jedi couldn't have done anything…

Luke sighed. "I'll try to convince the President to allow you to send a message to the Emperor. Ask him for an alliance. We need to work together to defend the Galaxy. Goodbye Father."

The line was cut.

Darth Vader sighed. This was just too much.

On Luke's end, he sighed as well. This was just too much to deal with.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

SG-1, SG-13 and General Hammond stood in front of the stargate as it activated.

Slowly, nine chevrons lit up, revealing the trans-dimensional KAWOOSH. Out walked one of the most mysterious individuals ever.

He (at least they assumed it was a he) was roughly the height of O'Neill, but that was his only discernible feature. He was completely black, without any glare whatsoever. It could be discerned that he was wearing a Fedora (for some reason the capital F just resounded in everyone's mind) and a cloak of some sort. As he spoke, there was no indication he even had a mouth, though if one looked closely they could see his jaw moving.

"Hello my great and wonderful allies! I come to grace you with my presence." He did a sweeping bow, adjusting his Fedora as he did so.

Carter blinked. _Who the heck is this?_

"Now, my amazing bipedal friends, I suppose you're supposed to welcome me?"

"Er… yes." Hammond said, recovering. "I am General Hammond, and this are SG teams one and thirteen. We welcome you to earth. What are-"

"Ah wonderful. Miranda, please drive them insane. I'm surprised you haven't already."

"Not everything I do has to drive people to crazy." Miranda said, rolling her eyes.

"Your husband disagrees."

"Leave him out of this." She said, smirking at the memory. "He's probably off in who-knows-when giving Illumirie the most annoying vague riddles."

"He does that." The man said, presumable grinning. He quickly leapt on top of the stargate, striking a pose. Everyone present knew this solid black man was a show-off. A megaphone seemingly constructed itself in the palm of his hand.

"I am TOP, representing the Wingdings and Hoseki today. Now, I've been told to give you this long boring and very political speech." He reached into his pockets and threw a sheaf of papers on the ground. "How's about we do this the fun way? People or Earth! I am the master of espionage, epitome of coolness, the observer of machines. And I have here to announce the completion of your six Prometheus class vessels, ready to be shipped here at a moment's notice and without any charge!" He paused for dramatic effect, letting it all sink in. "Now, how will we get these six ships to you, you ask. Well that is simple: we have completed the Omnigate." He adjusted his Fedora, looking really cool while doing it. "Now, does anyone want to look at the main screen?"

In the observation room, everyone stared at a screen. In orbit, the Prometheus was watching with a careful eye.

In the Hoseki system, a tremendous moon-sized ring, made entirely of white crystal circuitry, was completed. Lights of the blue energy coursed along the edges of the ring, lighting up symbols left and right in hundreds of combinations simultaneously. A small dot formed in the center of the ring, expanding in a supernova of ty-dye colors, swirling around in a hypnotic rhythm.

Over earth, the other side of the ty-dye portal appeared, coloring the space around it.

A small fleet of Hoseki ships appeared, Warships, Carriers, and even one of the new experimental Jewel class ships and a Lancer. Behind them, were six Prometheus class vessels, each marked with the flag of the nation they were gifted to. The US, England, France, China, Russia, and Japan.

"May I present to you, the Apex, Elizabeth, Jeanne d'Arc, Xing, Gagarin, and Chikara. Gifts, of the kind only I can give." TOP adjusted his Fedora. He was, presumably, smiling.

The great portal closed, leaving a small fleet in Earth Orbit.

Everyone celebrated a successful test.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Farther away than anyone could imagine at that time, an alarm went off.

A human-like being sat up, his featureless glowing eyes showing a mild case of panic.

An unauthorized dimensional tunnel had been triggered.

And it was _far_ too big just to be from some guy using dimensional scissors to hop around. This was a full-blown world-sized portal activation. Which meant someone had ducked under their radar.

Which was bad.

The being stood up, and ran out of the room. He slammed the door, the letters STAB engraved on it.

Big portals were not good things.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][[[][][][]

Ahsoka walked around in the stormtrooper armor. It was extremely easy to disguise yourself in the uniforms. Nobody got to see your face, and clone troopers hardly spoke anyway, so easy-peasy.

She just had to find a way off the ship.

She'd been walking around the ship all night looking for a way off. The problem was that, somehow, the Imperial Star Destroyer had been surrounded and Vader was trying everything to prevent getting blown up. Being surrounded by an unknown enemy never boded well, apparently.

She just needed to lay low until an opportunity presented itself.

Unfortunately "laying low" resulted in her thinking a lot about her current situation.

What the heck had happened to the Republic? How much time had _passed_ since she was frozen? Decades? Centuries? The entire galaxy was a horrible place.

She'd never even heard of the Emperor or Darth Vader before. Were they the new sith in this age? Why did Darth Vader seem so familiar?

But the question that nagged at her most and destroyed her heart was the following:

Where are all the jedi?

Her master. Her friends. All jedi. This Empire seemed to be under sith control, and there was no evidence of any sort of jedi defending anything. Just an Imperial warship.

She needed to get away and hide. Fast. Before Vader found out she was missing.

What to do….

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Janet Marlowe, President of the Hoseki System, stood on the bridge of the Zenith as it orbited Earth. The Lancer ship class was extremely long, at 5 km, but very thin and aerodynamic, designed for fast FTL speeds. It was often called the toothpick class because of its shape, but it was nothing to be trifled with.

At her side stood one of the Lumen Council members of the Wingdings, a blonde woman who looked young but was, in fact, almost a hundred thousand years old. She wore a billowing golden cloak with an eye design on it, and she wore a necklace of the Eye of Providence.

She also had two gloved six-fingered hands. And no arms. Her gloves just floated there in front of her body, with nothing between them.

"Illumirie…" Janet said. "We've just created a device that can tunnel anywhere in any universe. We can open our borders and trade." She turned to the golden-clad girl. "Do you have any idea how many new things I can try?"

Illumirie made no response. Her eyes were closed, and she was fingering her necklace. "The timestream has been upset."

Janet sighed. "It's been upset since we got here. That Doctor fellow has a way of causing it to tie into a… how did he put it? A wibbly wobbly timey wimey… ball."

"This is different. Something is purposefully altering the stream. Like-"

Before their eyes, the view of the stars erupted in a flash of magical energy, revealing a truly tremendous ship. At least a dozen times larger than a Hoseki warship, the newcomer appeared to be made by an artist: the shapes reminiscent of flowers, plants, and cosmological shapes. It appeared to glow with energy, most of it not looking completely solid.

Janet's jaw dropped. "Is that… a Magic Construct ship? But it's huge! How would someone be able to-" Then she realized who she was standing next to. "Nevermind. I suppose you could do it. But WHY. Why would anyone need something that big-"

Suddenly, Janet was teleported away. She appeared on disc shaped platform apparently in the middle of outer space. She could see the new ship and the Hoseki fleet in the distance, and Earth below.

In front of her was a humanoid man with blank, glowing eyes. He was sitting in a big thaumic chair, and he seemed to be alone. He was obviously very cross. "Who are you people?" He asked, inquisitively.

Janet glared. "I am President Janet Marlowe of the Hoseki System. And you have just kidnapped me. We _will_ retaliate."

"We could squish you like bugs."

"We could rewrite the structure of the universe to turn you into bugs."

The man raised his eyebrow. "Really? I doubt it. We control space and time. We monitor everything. And you have just breached a major protocol."

Janet grunted. "Perhaps you should make it more obvious what the protocols are."

"Every civilization that accelerates to the proper level are given the guidelines. Yours must've been given them centuries ago."

"We've only been in this multiverse for three years."

The man sighed. "I don't care. I'm just here to inform you you can't use your big portal anymore. We will perform an in-depth investigation into your people and your technology, and tell you what the rules are. You will listen and obey just like everyone else after so much as a tiny squabble with us…"

Janet glared. "How about no?"

"No?" The man said, obviously surprised.

"No."

"Do you even know who we are?"

"NOPE."

"That is absurd. Everyone knows about the SpaceTime Administration Bureau."

"We don't. We don't care. No-one will dictate what we do."

"Do you have any idea how dangerous a portal like that is?"

"We've been using smaller portals with the Stargates for a while now."

"The stargates are safe! Two endpoints is safe! A gate on only one end is not!"

"My scientists and mages tell me otherwise."

"They're wrong."

"I doubt that."

The man boiled. "We will trace you back to your home-"

"Good luck finding the System. It's in hyperspace somewhere, and we're telling you nothing."

"We can scan hyperspace."

"We can move the System."

"That's it! You will pay for your insolence against the STAB!" He raised a fist, charging it with energy. He swing downward, nuclear fission occurring on the edge of his fist.

Janet took a step back as a six-fingered glove stopped the hand right in it's tracks. Before them stood Illumirie.

"Wha-?" The man said, bewildered.

"Impressive. You made me lower my inhibition to 80%." She snapped the fingers on her other hand, creating a cloud of golden dust. She flicked her finger again, sending the dust into the man's face.

Illuminarie nodded. "You are High-overseer Grent Henfilly of the Space Time Administration Bureau. Your job is to oversee spacetime rips in the fabric of the thirteen universes and find any who are disobeying the rules of spacetime. You are in heavy competition with the Time Baby for a promotion, and you have a wife and seven children, all of whom are in STAB as well. You serve Alcyone and are determined to make a better order to the multiverse, although you have a bit of a rage problem. You hate pickles and Klingons, while you love Equestrians and corn. You are absolutely bewildered that I could get all that information out of your mind at 20% power." Illumirie looked up, the slightest hint of a smirk on her face. "I learned much more than just that, mister Henfilly."

For the briefest of moments, a look of fear crossed Henfilly's face. Then he frowned. "So be it. Obviously this can't be resolved peacefully."

Janet shook her head. "You could send us the data you have on dimensional travel and if there really is a danger we will shut our portal down. You could also meet us in ambassadorial meeting we could schedule as early as tomorrow. We will _not_ accept you just storming in and telling us how to run our civilization. "

Henfilly glared. "Only the Old Ones are outside our influence. We regulate all."

"Then we are at odds."

Henfilly snapped his fingers, and he teleported away.

Illumirie blinked. "He just removed the atmosphere. He just tried to kill you."

"Huh." Janet said, not surprised. "So what do we-"

The STAB ship fired a cannon at the Hoseki fleet, obliterating right through a warship.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Hoseki fleet instantly entered battle positions. The threat had been classified as an Upper Threat, possibly more powerful than the Hoseki themselves, so there was no toying around. Half of the ships entered other dimensions, taking the fight to four dimensions. (they were capable of entering five, with time travel, but that was rarely used because everything just got confusing and reality tended to fall apart at the seams whenever that was used.) The warships and cruisers fired their main cannons, impacting the main shields of the graceful ship in front of them. There was no visible effect. Phasing antimatter nukes were launched by the dozen, only to impact the shields.

The phased ships re-entered reality alongside the target, firing with everything they had. The elegant ship simply sent out several bladelike beams of light, slicing the ships in half. The STAB ship seemed to be slicing through the fleet effortlessly.

"We may have to use an ARC!" several of the ship captains said.

"Too risky! If we misfire it could boil off Earth's atmosphere!"

"Call for backup! Get Atlantis here!"

"Send out the Mentalis! Do we have any Wingdings in the fleet?"

"Get Illumirie out there!"

Illumirie's face twitched. These people were destroying the first civilization she had acutally felt apart of in tens of thousands of years. This could not stand.

"Triangulum Mentalis?" She asked.

 _YES?_ The voice of Reality Magic said, appearing behind her as a featureless golden triangle with a single eye.

"I'm removing all inhibitions. Let's do this."

 _IF YOU ARE CERTAIN THIS IS REQUIRED._

"Perhaps it isn't required, but I am no longer just an observer Triangulum. And neither are you."

 _OF COURSE. WHENEVER YOU ARE READY._

Illumirie put her hand on the Triangulum, absorbing his energy into her body. She began to grow in height, her cloak spreading out at unnatural directions. The designs on her clothing became more intricate and lined with all the symbols of the greek alphabet. A third eye popped into being on her forehead, and her gloves gained a mark of the Eye of Providence.

She took off her necklace, removing ALL the power inhibition. The very fabric of space around her began to ripple and buckle.

She quickly teleported Janet far _far_ away.

She snapped her finger.

A golden scepter composed of spacetime was suddenly driven right through the center of the STAB ship, passing through the shields effortlessly.

She sent a simple message to Henfilly's mind.

 _ **ARE YOU READY TO TALK?**_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ahsoka went through the events that led to her current predicament once more.

Step 1: Find an abandoned TIE fighter and remove the tracker.

Step 2: Fly towards Terra and try to escape.

Step 3: Get captured by the Terrans.

She still didn't understand exactly how that got her playing some kind of board game with a strange alien known as Rigel.

"And I win again!" The fishy humanoid said, collecting his earnings. "I must say, you are most entertaining to play with miss Tano!"

Ahsoka simply nodded, still confused.

"Excuse me… aren't I your prisoner?"

"Of course."

"Why are you playing a game with me?"

"Obviously because Crichton and Mal haven't decided what to do with you yet. If they decide anything aside from keeping you on board, I won't get to play later. I simply must examine new strategies. And win things."

"I haven't bet anything."

"Not YET you haven't."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It-"

Crichton and Mal walked into the room, looking closely at Ahsoka. "We've reviewed your case with the others."

"And?" Ahsoka said.

"We're here to offer you a deal." Crichton said.

Ahsoka sighed. Great.

Mal continued. "We are sorta' outside the law here. Not official in any way. Now if ya want to, we can invite ya to our little ship here. The Empire won't know bout ya, and neither will the Terrans. You'll just be 'nother one of the weird ones on Moya."

"What's the catch?" Ahsoka asked.

"You start out as janitor who can move stuff with her mind." Crichton said, grinning. "And you've got to lay low for a while so nobody sees you. Also, you get to clean up that mess of crackers we still have laying around."

"What is it with ya people and yer hatred for crackers?"

"It is way, _way,_ too hard to explain Mal." Crichton grinned. "Now, how's about we introduce our newest member, Jedi Ahsoka Tano!"

"One, I didn't say yes." Ahsoka said, glaring. "Two, how did you know I was a jedi?"

"You told me. Just now." Crichton grinned. "Was nothing but a guess till right now. You do know that Terra has a few jedi-in-training right?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "I can't join them. I'm going to be hunted by the Empire, most assuredly. I have to stay hidden."

Mal shrugged. "Fine by me."

"You get to clean the bathroom first." Crichton said as he unlocked the cell. "And Rigel?"

"Yes, human?"

"Stop trying to steal other creature's bodily fluids in a gambling game."

"What? I hadn't even thought of that!"

"Yeeeah right…" Crichton said, rolling his eyes. "Mal, tell everyone that we're going back to the Rebels for another delivery." He turned to Ahsoka. "Oh, and you're going to need to help move cargo around as well."

"I haven't said yes yet."

"You don't have a choice."

"Fair enough."

"Good."

"Still haven't said yes."

Rigel piqued up. "Actually you've said yes three times."

"Shut your trap, fish."

Crichton chuckled. He had a feeling he was going to like this one.

He tossed her back the lightsabers.

Ahsoka blinked. Why on earth would he give her the weapons back? It didn't make sense-

"Everyone's equal here on Moya. And we tend to get into messes. I'd rather have you armed and defending against a monstrosity than unarmed and dead."

Ahsoka shrugged, walking off to clean the bathroom.

Her new life...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _Dear Emperor_

 _We have discovered a set of people with advanced technology during our search. They call themselves the Terrans. Despite the low quantity of habitable worlds within these sectors, they seem to consist of many races, though they are mostly human, suggesting a lost colony of some kind. Their technology is advanced, though not as advanced as our own or the Covenant's. Their fleet is small from what I've seen, but they have enough to corner an Imperial Star Destroyer and make it well known that they would win in a fight._

 _They do have something we need however. They have offered to assist in the search for a weapon to use against the Replicators, and are willing to give us some of their weapons technology that will be effective against the Replicators, even if they are not as powerful as our current weapons. They are suggesting an alliance against the Replicators. They have people with contacts in the Rebellion, and could obtain their assistance as well._

 _I am not pleased with this turn of events, and I am sure you are downright furious my Lord. However, the Replicators represent the biggest threat the galaxy has ever seen. We will have to put aside some of our differences and face the threat in any way possible._

 _Your Servant, Darth Vader._

The Emperor smiled as he read this.

Darth Vader thought he would be furious.

Far from it. Allies to fight those infernal bugs? Good. Getting his enemies together in one place? Better. Learning their secrets? Even _better._

After the bugs were dealt with it would become much easier to solidify his rule. There would be no more Rebellion after this war.

He began to laugh his deranged and psychotic laugh.

Things were shaping up.

He sent back a reply, informing Vader to seek a temporary alliance with these Terrans.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Okay Rainbow." Luke said, flexing his wrist. "We've got to tap into your Force potential. I know it's inside you. I can _sense_ it. So we're going to see if we can trigger you to use it. Yoda thinks it should take months of training to use the Force. As you've seen with the others, that simply isn't the case. So. Are you ready to be thrown off the central tower with your wings strapped to your back!"

The rainbow mare yelled "YEAH- wait _WHAT?"_

Minutes later RD was dangled over the edge of the towering building. "This is a bad idea…." She said.

"That's what you think. Have fun!" Luke dropped her. He snickered. There was a net at the bottom that would catch her fall, but _she_ didn't have to know that.

Rainbow Dash yelled as she fell. Then she shook her head vigorously, snapping herself out of the fearful trance. She needed to focus. She turned her body to face the ground directly. She squinted, pouring every ounce of her concentration onto the ground below her. All she had to do was push hard enough that she wouldn't crack her skull on the ground.

She felt the energy of the Force flowing through her veins, focusing on her forehead. The energy pulsed through her mind, attempting to rupture the boundary from her mind to the real world. The power was _there_ , it just didn't want to come out.

 _I wish I had a horn…_ Rainbow muttered.

She focused harder, clenching her face so hard that tears began to seep out of her eyeballs. She was going to do this. She would not be defeated by some pathetic ground! She would win! Who needed wings? Who-

She winced as an old memory surfaced to her head. The pain of the memory coursed through her wing joints. She could feel the fake bone attaching her wings to the rest of her body. She could feel the scars left at the base of her wings.

Sorrow flooded her mind, and she let out a cry.

She stopped falling.

She opened her eyes. She was about ten feet off the ground. Applejack, Lightning, and Kara were all there, mouths agape. They'd been expecting an epic wipeout. On top of the tower, Luke was slackjawed. He'd expected to do that several times before she got it. How-?

Rainbow Dash began to laugh. She dropped the rest of the way to the net, and began to roll side to side, laughing. Applejack let out a whoop. "YOU GO RAINBOW!" Before joining in the laughing. Lightning smiled. Kara glared with hostility.

The laughter filled the street. The two equestrians laughed together for a while.

Applejack recovered first. She was generally not one to laugh too much anyway. She looked over at Rainbow, who was still very much into it. Her body shaking with each laugh.

 _Wait._ Applejack went over to her cyan friend. "Rainbow? You okay?"

The rainbow pegasus was no longer laughing. She was sobbing, her body wrenching. "I… I… Everything… The Factory… My wings… I… I had to channel…" She descended into a crying mess.

Applejack sighed, picking Rainbow Dash up and putting her on her back. "I"m takin' her to the farm. Tell Luke she's indisposed at the moment."

The two Equestrians walked off, Rainbow Dash continually sobbing.

Lightning sighed. "What on earth did she experience?"

Kara frowned. "I don't know." _But I'm going to find out._

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Henfilly glared at the two women in front of him. Illumirie had put her inhibitor back on so she wouldn't destroy the room simply from her presence, but she had kept her enhanced form. The third eye was disturbing as heck. And Janet had a look of murder on her face. She glared at Henfilly.

"You just killed thousands of our people."

"You wouldn't listen to us-"

"X**** listening." Janet said, standing up. "We should declare war on you."

"That would be ill advised."

"Illumirie is NOT our strongest weapon, Henfilly." Janet threatened. "And we may not win anyway, but we would bring an entire universe or two down with us. And I believe that is not something your little Administration wants now IS IT?"

Henfilly glared, his eyes staring deep into their souls. "I suggest-"

"YOU GET TO SUGGEST NOTHING!" Janet said, showing a face of true wrath to Henfilly. "YOU LOST ALL NEGOTIATING RIGHTS WHEN YOU ATTACKED US." Janet stood back, a cold look appearing on her face. "You will leave. You will not bother us or our allies in the Alliance. You will be allowed to send ambassadors to us if you choose, but we will not accept you as one of us or let you into our civilizations. You cannot force your rules of spacetime onto anyone in the alliance, and we will personally defend any world from you. You may send us suggestions and reasons why our technology would be detrimental to the multiverse as a whole, and we will _consider_ listening to your suggestions." She sat back down. "We aren't stupid. If you are angry at us for the Omnigate there may actually be a reason. Just send us the files and we'll probably shut it down and go into deeper research."

Henfilly frowned. "Fine." He gave the two of them a data pad. "The STAB accepts these terms temporarily while we debate. When we contact you we will have a decision." He stood up, and walked away. "You two have no idea the enemy you just made."

Illumirie smirked. "That's what you think."

As Henfilly left, Janet let out a breath she'd been holding for a very long time. "I can't stand it sometimes Lumie…"

Illumirie nodded. "Your term is ending soon."

"Yeah. And that _totally_ means I'll have less of a workload. Right."

"Yeah probably not." Illumirie nodded. "I've got to send the Illuminatti out. As much as I bragged to Henfilly, the nature of the STAB still eludes me. We will find out what is going on."

"You have my permission." Janet said, waving her hand. "Now tell Kayz I'll be in my room the rest of the day finding something new to smoke."

Illumirie nodded, before teleporting away.

She was in a large room engraved on all sides with ancient markings. The floor was covered with a twelve-pointed star shape with an eye in the center, surrounded by a dozen symbols.

 _The old prophecy…_ Illumirie thought to herself. She focused deep inside her, and separated the Triangulum.

 _THAT WAS A MOST ILLUMINATING EXPERIENCE. PERHAPS WE SHOULD INVESTIGATE FURTHER._

"We don't take orders from you." Illumirie reminded the magical being. "But yes, we do." She held up her hands and clapped them together, a magical glyph of the twelve-pointed star appearing in front of her. "Calling all Agents. Alpha has a mission for you all."

She smiled. Thirteen beings appeared in front of her, all fiddling with their Triangulum Time Travel pendants. Each were adorned in golden clothing emblazoned with greek letters, triangles, and eyes. Adding herself, all fourteen Agents were present and accounted for. She smiled.

"Today, or rather _now,_ is the time we decide to explore the timeline of this entire multiverse. Where did it start? How will it end? Will it end? Where is the furthest future? Is there a furthest future? What is the STAB? People, we are in a multiverse where time is in constant flux and I believe there is no set past like our home. We could change anything. Let's not. Let us return to our old ways… Except we will serve the Hoseki now. Beta! Create another time computer in Atlantis' core."

The AI did what could be interpreted as a nod, and set to work.

"Omega! Go out into time and recruit new agents. Remember, we have ten slots remaining."

The young woman with flowing brown hair smiled, before vanishing in a flash of temporal energy.

"Everyone else, temporally clone yourself like there's no tomorrow and collect information. Particularly about the Space Time Administration Bureau. That is all."

Illumirie folded her six-fingered hands together. It was good to be back in the time game.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"How'ya holdin up?" Applejack was asking Raibow Dash.

The pegasus was just sitting on the ground, dejected. "I… I tapped into my potential. But I had to go back _there._ Had to use my… sadness. Regret."

"That was decades ago sugarcube. You're a very different person now."

"Still doesn't change the fact that I killed so many."

"I persn'ally think the place brainwashed you."

"Yeah I don't buy that." Rainbow said, turning back. "I killed a total of 1,426 ponies. One. Thousand. Four. Hundred. And. Twenty. Six. All for what? Making rainbows. And when I decided enough was enough and tried to stop it, I just made things worse-"

"You did _try_ -"

"-And by result pretty much destroyed the world." She sighed. "I basically glassed the planet."

"We managed to save Equestria and the dragons survived-"

Rainbow Turned to glare at Applejack. "Stop. Trying. To. Make. Me. Feel. Better." Then she softened. "I-I'm sorry. I just… want to be left alone right now. I'll probably be back tomorrow."

"You're going to have to move past this ya' know. You can't keep breaking down like this."

"Yeah…" Rainbow said, stooping. "Just… tell them I'm fine but I just want to be left alone for now."

"Mmkay." Applejack said, trotting off.

Outside the house, Kara's eyes were wide.

What. The. Frak.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The SGC was speechless. Everyone was utterly and completely stupefied by the power display Illumirie had just given. Even Miranda was staring at the readings, jaw dropped. "I-I-I had no idea it required that much power…" She stuttered.

TOP and Chirssa glanced at each other, nodding in understanding. They'd both seen Illumirie throw down before, and it was an _extremely_ rare occurrence. When she was at full power she was likely to break a continent simply by flicking a finger. TOP knew the only reason she even went full power was because she was in the middle of space.

And TOP knew full well that she did a very precise attack. Any of her more powerful (and less controlled) spells could have wiped out entire planets.

He was REALLY glad she was on their side now. He did _not_ want to come up with another capture-Illumirie plan. That had barely worked. TOP pondered how he would execute a capture-Illumirie plan at her current power level… He was drawing a blank. He'd have to keep her from fusing with the Triangulum at all if there was any hope…

Why was he bothering about this? The plan ultimately failed. She was rescued by her precious Illuminati. And he could not figure out how to deal with FOURTEEN time travelers who can just relive the moment again and again…

He adjusted his Fedora. No matter. He needed to be formulating plans on the STAB. Magic constructs were vulnerable to black crystal, so if he could get Miranda to generate an entire ship out of the stuff…. maybe…

Hammond spoke. "That was impressive. I'm glad you're on our side."

"Yeah." TOP said, smirking. "We're awesome that way. We do, however, need to figure out what exactly these STAB people are and what they want. We will make the report public as soon as we _have_ a report." He instructed his nanobots to call Illumirie. "Hey all-powerful goddess of time! How's it feel to be ridiculously overpowered!" A pause. "Yes I know you're a human and not a goddess. Lighten up." A pause. TOP sighed. "I'm calling to ask what our course of action is." Whatever Illumirie's reply was, it caused TOP to snort. "Of course she's doing that. Great. Let's just make sure the gifts were presented and go back home." TOP put a hand to his forehead. "Of course by using the Omnigate! I don't want to spend all day riding a ship back home! Oh wait. I can use a stargate. Nevermind. Do what you want." TOP nodded. "Well, I suppose. Go ahead and do it as long as the others don't have a problem. Tell the council they're a bunch of bureaucratic morons and get back. Bye." TOP got off the call.

"So Illumirie's taking the fleet home through the Omnigate. We'll suspend all Omnigate operations after this trip so we can review the schematics given to us by the STAB."

Carter blinked. "They gave you schematics?"

"Well…. more of a large bunch of scientific articles explaining why _not_ to use the Omnigate. If it turns out to be true be glad you got your gifts when you did, we won't be sending you anything bigger than a stargate unless we can store it in a carier..." He snapped his fingers, creating a ring out of nanobots. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got plans to make."

The Other Person pulled his cloak closer around him, adjusting his Fedora. He snapped his fingers, telling his nanobots to dial the stargate. A few moments later, he was gone.

Carter blinked. "What are we going to _do?"_

O'Neill smirked. "Worry about the Goa'uld and let someone else do the work with this "STAB." It feels nice not doing anything for once." O'Neill walked out. "Call me when we have a mission."

Soon, Patema was the only one left in the briefing room. She stared at the screen, which still displayed an image of the STAB ship.

She reached for a phone, dialing 07700900461.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The "tenth" Doctor rushed left and right, bending widgets and cranking knobs. The TARDIS was having a good old fashioned freak-out. The timestream had apparently just had a major hiccup, something had just ripped a hole through reality the size of a small moon, and the phone was ringing!

Wait.

 _The phone was ringing._

As the TARDIS shook and spun around him, the Doctor answered the phone. "Yellow. The Doctor is currently having technical difficulties. Please call back after the entirety of reality isn't falling apart. BEEP!"

"DOCTOR!" Patema yelled from the line. "The STAB is active! IN EARTH ORBIT!"

The Doctor dropped his Thing That Goes Ding™. "What?"

"They just squared off with the Hoseki in EARTH ORBIT!"

"What?"

"DOCTOR!"

"WHAT?"

"What are we going to do?"

The Doctor stared ahead blankly for a moment. "First, I'm going to get the TARDIS stable. Then, I'm going to remind some STAB people that Earth is off limits. Third, I'm going to burn some pears."

"Doctor…"

"I'll deal with it. Don't you worry."

He hung up. He was going to have a SERIOUS talking to those STAB people.

A piece of the TARDIS exploded and was sent right by his ear.

 _Right. Fix TARDIS first._

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Two observers sat on a park bench. They looked nearly identical with their clean suits, grey fedoras, and bald heads.

"A new group has appeared in time." One said.

"Indeed they have."

"They will cause complications."

"We can compensate."

"It will not be possible to continually avoid them."

"We have ways to lock time."

"The time for that phase hasn't come yet."

"We may have to change our plans."

"Our plans are constantly changing."

"Perpahs."

"The Doctor has become active again."

"That is more inconvenient than the newcomers."

"The newcomers are an unknown. They could be more dangerous."

"Unlikely. The Doctor has dominion over time itself. If he discovers us, we are ruined."

"We shall continue our observations."

And with that, the two men stood up, and walked away.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Baltar was full of rage and he didn't know why.

He just knew that things had to die. Suffering needed to be dished out.

Somewhere, deep inside him, a voice screamed. He ignored it.

At his side stood Caprica, feeling exactly the same as him.

Things needed to die.

One of their followers poked their head in. "Someone here to see you."

"Hera?" Baltar said. The girl had shown up a few times before, spouting… interesting pieces of information.

"No. Someone.. else."

"Bring them in." Baltar said, ready to kill at a moment's' notice. He needed to beat Caprica to the punch this time. She'd killed the last five.

A handsome man with a ridiculously confident grin on his face walked in. His deep, soothing, and rather unique voice reached their ears, instantly disarming their feelings of rage to manageable levels.

"Leaders of the Followers of the True God. I am Ma'al. And I have a proposition-"

"I want to hear this."

The occupants of the room turned to see Hera standing there, clutching to a stuffed animal. She stared at them with a cold, unfeeling face.

Ma'al raised an eyebrow, before continuing...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

NLQGQHVV ZDV NLOOHG, ODXJKWHU LQVDQH.

ORBDOWB IDLOHG, IULHQGVKLS UHIUDLQV.

JHQHURVLWB JRQH, KRQHVWB UHPDLQV.

ORRN DW ZKDW KDSSHQHG WR ZKDW RQFH ZDV DUFDQH.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: SKOODELYBOW! And thus ends our perpetual to-be-continued arc. Things were resolved KA-BAM.**

 **It was recently brought to our attention that it is kinda hard to tell which Doctor we are writing about. Every time you've seen him it's been the tenth. The eleventh will show up soon. The others may show up, but the plan is only for ten and eleven to be important to the plot. (well, for now at least).**

 **Anyway TOP is OP's character. And even though OP has been really busy lately, he still came up with TOP. So give OP a hand!**

… **.I didn't mean LITERALLY.**

 **Coming up: Jan 22: Maze: a chapter in the form of a puzzle.**

 **UNTIL NEXT TIME (probably monday) PEACE! *meteor impact, mixed with comets***


	20. January 19: Heads

**AN:**

 **GM: welp, back to the Fringe. The X-Files. The Fringe-X. The X-Fringe. Whatever.**

 **Who cares anyway? It's more amusing if they never settle on anything.**

 **While the main plot of January is developing, let's take a moment to appreciate the insanity that the agents are going through shall we?**

Thursday, January 19: Heads

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The vial was filled with a putrid substance the color of mushed together skin. Various unnatural bits floated in the viscous liquid, ever trapped in the ugly folds of the vial. It seemed to be twitching in certain areas, and was more still than was natural at others.

In short, it was absolutely disgusting and unnatural looking.

Olivia downed the concoction.

Walter, Peter, Astrid, Scully, and Mulder just stared at her in disbelief.

"I.. Well I _was_ going to mix strawberries into it…" Walter said as Olivia gagged.

"Olivia! You just downed chopped up tapeworms!" Peter said, obviously distressed at what Olivia had just drunk.

Mulder simply observed with a look of mild curiosity. Scully looked on at the spectacle with disgust.

Olivia recovered from her tapeworm-gagging and attempted to give a smile. She more or less succeeded. "I need to remember what happened to me. I need to know what I'm supposed to do."

"Yes but there's no way eating a tapeworm concoction can help with that-" Peter began.

"Actually…" Scully said. "There is evidence that tapeworms have cranial enhancement chemicals that affect memory-"

Mulder clapped. "There she is, actually going with the crazy idea for once."

"Mulder!"

"What?"

"Just… You… Egh."

Mulder grinned. "I know right?"

Peter sighed. This was absolutely great. Olivia was going to get indigestion and there would be no memory recall whatsoever, and anything she did recall would probably be from some kind of hallucinogenic drug Walter put into the concoction. Just great.

"Oh devourer of tapeworms…" Lyre's voice echoed into the Fringe Division lab. "And the rest of you crazy conspiracy theorists. I'm here to tell you that Broyles is about to call with a new case. It involves frozen heads and silver blood." The Fal'cie chuckled. "Do to him what you wish."

Peter was impressed with Lyre. Not only was he exceptionally helpful, he had undergone a serious personality edit since he'd been with them. Evidentially being a sentient alien supercomputer with control over most of the internet was something he really enjoyed. He had become exceptionally chipper and snarky almost 24/7, and was continually monitoring the world for weird events.

And cat pictures.

Peter's phone rang. He answered. "Hey Broyles, is this about the frozen heads?"

It was all Peter could do to keep from laughing at Broyles' stunned silence.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Peter and Scully ended up being the ones to go. They arrived at the crime scene, a business known as Elias Cryonics. It was one of those really boring buildings that seem to just exist in the world and do nothing. Elias Cryonics, however, did have a purpose: storing the frozen heads of humans. Some of these heads were obtained for science. Others were of rich people who wanted to be revived as soon as technology advanced to the stage that would allow them to live again. Other heads were there for no discernable reason. They just… appeared.

The case: murder and theft.

Those murdered: four facility personnel and one unidentified man, presumably an assailant.

The items stolen: five hundred frozen human skulls and a freezer truck.

What made it really weird: the unidentified man was bleeding metallic blood, and had three puncture holes in the roof of his mouth.

And, well, the fact that five-hundred frozen heads were stolen.

"Shapeshifter." Peter muttered, looking at the unidentified man.

Scully frowned. Shapeshifters. She supposed she'd seen shapeshifting aliens, but something about shapeshifting beings from another universe was harder to choke down. She sighed. All evidence was pointing to that being the case here, so she might as well go with it.

"Shapeshifter." She muttered back.

"This has been the third cryogenic facility robbery this week. Though the last two had no casualties."

"What did they steal at the other places?"

"Heads. More heads. Which raised the question: what the heck do shapeshifters want with frozen human heads?"

Scully stooped over the body, scooping the silver blood into a vial. "Walter will want to see this…"

Peter patted the shapeshifter's corpse down. "Hello? What is this?" He pulled out of the man's pocket a fully in-tact shapeshifter device, complete with three-pronged cables. "Well well well! This certainly is going to be useful. Let's see what we can get from it." He pulled out his phone and called Broyles.

As Peter asked for the files on the other cases, Scully looked around the crime scene. There were bullets on the ground, most of which were shot by one of the guards. She looked back at the shapeshifter's body.

How on earth was the shapeshifter able to take six bullets?

Oh wait. Stupid question. It was a shapeshifter. They didn't go down.

Apparently the alien shapeshifters she'd been dealing with recently were a bit stronger than this variety.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The shapeshifter that looked like Charlie Francis met with one of his partners-in-crime. the other shapeshifter was shaving the hair off frozen human skulls, looking for something. When he didn't find what he was looking for, he tossed the head into the grass behind him. "You look like hell."

Charlie nodded. "Doesn't matter. Your job was sloppy. One of our own was killed, and they _know_ what we are!"

The other shapeshifter completely ignored Charlie's comment. "You need to get a new body. Go back home and get a new conversion device."

"I will not go until my mission is completed."

The other simply nodded, shaving off a few more heads. "We'll hit the North Carolina lab next. Maybe they'll ha-"

"No. You've raised suspicions. We can no longer afford to haphazardly guess which lab has the right head. I believe agent Dunham knows. I will extract the information from her somehow."

"The mission will go on ahead for tomorrow unless you can get us new information."

"Fine. I will." Charlie walked off, stumbling. He let out a sharp breath. This body was dying. He probably didn't have any more than a few days left on it. He really needed to get that information. And some nutrition...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Astrid, remind me to patent this."

"What is it Walter?"

"Bone saw scissors." Walter wrenched the tremendous dual-bladed scissors and cut off the arm of the shapeshifter. Silvery blood spurted out.

"Goodie! The blood IS uniform!" He rubbed his hands together, grabbing one of the many random tools from the lab's counter. "Now, time to analyze the composition! TO THE CENTRIFUGE!"

Mulder was standing a ways away from Walter's chopping-up-shapeshifters bed and was instead next to Peter, who was plugging all sorts of wires between the broken shapeshifter device they'd found a few weeks ago, to the one they'd just received. He muttered "interesting" from time to time, but hadn't actually spoken up about an amazing discovery.

Olivia walked into the lab, rubbing her head. She grumpily muttered something to Astrid, who ran to the medicine cabinet.

"What is it Olivia?" Peter asked.

"Headache." She muttered, grabbing the aspirin Astrid provided. "Gah."

Mulder slowly strode over to the body, scratching his chin. "Wait a moment."

"What is it Agent Mulder?" Walter said, dancing around with the silvery blood.

"This shapeshifter is completely uniform with silver blood."

"Mercury actually, according to my calculations."

"Yes. But the shapeshifter that was killed on our first case here bled _normal_ blood. Which means…"

Walter's eyes widened. "...that wasn't the real shapeshifter. It's still at large."

Olivia's eyes widened. She flipped out her phone, dialing Charlie. "Charlie? Hello?"

Charlie made a coughing noise. "Um… Hi Olivia. What do you need?"

Olivia paused for a moment. He was making weird noises. "What's up Charlie?"

"Just.. drinking… a smoothie." He said. "Yeah."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Okaaaaay… Anyway we just discovered that the person you killed wasn't the shapeshifter."

"WHAT?" Charlie said, audibly horrified. Olivia heard the sound of glass breaking.

"Charlie are you okay?"

"Fine… I'll be on the lookout. I've got to clean up my… smoothie now…"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Be careful. It could be anywhere." She hung up.

Elsewhere in the state, Charlie looked at the mess on the ground.

He was surrounded by dozens of store bought thermometers, glass cups, and extracted mercury. There was a broken glass on the floor, with the silvery substance pouring out all over the floor.

He was sweating hard. The mercury has rejuvenated him somewhat, but he still didn't have much time.

He needed to get ahold of himself and get her to remember.

And clean up this mercury mess before someone found it. He didn't want to hide another body right at the moment.

...Perhaps he could just have a few more drinks.

Back at the lab, Olivia stared at the phone, not entirely sure if Charlie was fine. Perhaps she could go check on him.

Peter groaned from across the lab. "Ugh. Massive Dynamic won't let me get into their files. Can you take the devices to Nina and see what they have?"

Olivia nodded. "Sure." She grabbed the devices and headed out, still worrying about Charlie.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia blinked to herself a couple hours later.

Wait a second.

"Can you remind me how I agreed to let you come with me?" She said, turning to Mulder.

The agent munched on his sunflower seeds, the crunching of the shells cracking against Olivia's hearing. "I wanted to meet this Nina Sharp you've told us so much about. And by that, I mean you've told us she's important and not much else."

"She runs Massive Dynamic while William Bell is… away. Wherever he is. Probably in the other universe…"

"Which raises a question. How'd he get there? Why is he still there? Is Nina trustworthy?"

Olivia humphed. "Never trust Nina. She may have good information and motivations, but she lies and has secrets. Boatloads of secrets. She will only give information if she thinks we need it or that we'll figure it out on our own anyway."

"Really?" Mulder mused. "What are we going to ask her today?"

"Peter has done some work on the shapeshifting devices, but he doesn't think he can figure them out fast enough. He's determined that one of the devices probably stores an imprint of the shapeshifter's current form, but he can't decode it with the technology available at the lab. Massive Dynamic has a more advanced and up-to date lab."

Mulder grinned. "All the big human-stomping companies do."

"indeed."

Olivia parked the car at the Massive Dynamic building, one of the largest skyscrapers in the city.

Mulder looked up, whistling. "That's a big building."

"Of course it is. William Bell wouldn't be happy with a small company now would he?"

"I suppose not. If you're a multi-billionaire I suppose you'd like to be a little extravagant."

"Like build a portal to another universe extravagant?"

Mulder nodded, smiling. "I think I'm beginning to see the motivation of our mysterious Mr. Bell. He likes to spend his money to be different. He-"

Olivia stopped him. "Actually he was a scientist that worked with Walter way back in the day."

Mulder blinked. "REALLY? This information could have been important you know-"

As Olivia was about to respond, a short red-haired woman waved to them from inside the skyscraper.

"Is that-" Mulder began to ask.

"Nina Sharp." Olivia said, frowning. As always, the short woman seemed to know they were coming.

"Ah Agent Dunham! And Fox Mulder! I've heard so much about you!" She grinned, looking like she was a friendly old lady. "How's the alien hunting going?"

"Okay I suppose."

"By the way tell your computer to get out of our systems. Next time we won't shut off the purging virus. "

Mulder blinked. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

In a bunker far away, Lyre was panicking. He left WAY too many cat pictures in the Massive Dynamic system before he was booted. Crap. Clean clean clean….

He found an email in his inbox.

"Stay out" -Nina Sharp.

This did nothing to lower Lyre's panic level.

Back at Massive Dynamic, Mulder and Olivia kept their straight faces. Nina kept hers as well, continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened. "How's your memory Olivia?"

"It's… coming back in bits and pieces…"

Nina's composure faltered for a moment. "Did you remember anything he told you? Anything at all?"

"No… Sorry. I just know it was him. And that there was a bell involved."

"A bell?" Nina said, eyebrows raising. "Perhaps we need to trigger your memories…"

"AFTER we do what we came here to do." Mulder said.

"Ah yes the shapeshifting device."

"We haven't mentioned that yet." Mulder said, accusingly.

"It's not that hard to determine what your visitors want if you know them well enough." Nina said, smirking at Mulder. "Now, to cut to the chase, what _exactly_ do you want to know?"

Olivia spoke. "Peter believes that the imprint of a shapeshifter's current form is stored on the device."

"Yes, we can extrapolate the face ID from a shpeshifting device, if we knew the shape of another." Nina smiled. "And you do happen to have a second device and know its form right?"

"Yes." Olivia said, producing the two devices.

Mulder blinked. This woman knew far, far, _far_ too much. How did she get her information? Who _was_ she?

Nina smiled. "I'll hand these to the labs. We can work on your memory-"

"Hold it." Mulder said. "How do we know you won't just take the devices?"

Nina sighed. "Just as paranoid as suspected…" She muttered. "I suppose you have good reason. You are welcome to watch the devices while I help jog Olivia's memory." She glanced at her watch. "We have… four hours before I need to fly to Hong Kong. Let's see what we can get done." She rubbed her hands together. "Come Olivia, we need to listen to three-hundred different kinds of bells."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

One and a half hours later…

" _There_ we go! In exactly three hours we will have a complete face reconstruction of the shapeshifter's current form! WE SHALL IDENTIFY THIS ABOMINATION! They cannot hide from us…."

Mulder blinked. "You are quite into your job aren't you?"

"I get paid to do mad science. We will beat those people at Veridian Dynamic next year in the weird science competition. WE SHALL NOT LOSE."

Mulder grinned. "I like you! So, out of curiosity, what do you make here?"

"Everything. We study the _very fabric of existence itself_ mister Mulder. And… you know I'm probably not supposed to show you this but…" The man, Brandon if Mulder recalled his name, ruffled through some files and found a schematic. "We've been building THIS! It's basically a big honking plasma gun the U. S. Government wants us to improve. It's just so amazing! I can't believe they got scientists to do this stuff for em! But we will make it better… WE WILL REMAIN SUPREME!"

Mulder cocked his head. "Isn't Veridian Dynamic ten billion dollars richer than Massive Dynamic?"

"NUMBERS CAN BE CHANGED!"

Mulder chuckled, plugging his phone into the face reconstruction. He typed a message to Lyre instructing the Fal'cie to synch the program to everyone's phones. Mulder held up his phone, watching the face of a shapeshifter slowly begin to appear. It was nothing more than a face frame at the moment, but it was being filled in bit by bit.

Brandon gaped. "How… how did you DO that? Our computers would have to expend a lot of energy to do that. It'd take a large sum of profit away from us…"

A text message appeared on the phone. "I'm just amazing that way."

"An AI! AMAZING! We've only had partial success with AI! Where did you get him? IS HE FROM VERIDIAN?"

Mulder sighed, hiding the phone. "It's nothing. Now, anything else you want to show me that I probably shouldn't see?"

Brandon blinked. "Eh… well there's this one thing I really can't show you but… you know what let's look at another top-secret military gun."

"You realize you're not doing your job well."

"They can't fire me. I'm one of the hundred smartest people on the planet."

Mulder shrugged. "Fine. What's this?"

"Schematics for a moon base… I think."

"You think?"

"They don't always tell us everything."

Mulder sighed. Of course. That was probably the smart move.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia sat in a room in a strangely comfortable chair. On the table in front of her were hundreds of bells. Some were tiny, some were gong-like, and others didn't even look like bells. One appeared to be a sandwich. There was a single scientist slowly going around, hitting the bells one at a time, looking for a reaction in Olivia.

Olivia wasn't paying attention to him. She had her eyes closed tightly and was trying to remember.

What had happened almost twenty days ago?

What had William Bell told her?

She remembered his face.

She remembered the room.

She remembered the window.

She remembered the bell.

She even remembered what his voice sounded like, but not the words…

She remembered flashing images. A symbol. The twin towers. A sunset. The sky. Amber.

What did it all mean?

She went in circles like this, as the tones of the bells rang, never quite matching up to the one she remembered.

In the next room, watching her on a screen, Nina Sharp sat.

A voice spoke from behind her. "Interesting method."

Nina Sharp smelled cigarette smoke. She sighed. "It certainly has been a while, Spender."

The Smoking Man grinned. "Still can't find my real name can you?"

"No. I'm not sure I ever will." She smirked. "Although you have to admit it takes a lot to find C. G. B. Spender. Or Bloodworth."

The Smoking Man glared. "I prefer Spender, honestly."

"Of course you do." Nina watched as Olivia listened to more bells. "What brings you here?"

"Our two groups have intertwined."

"You already came for information weeks ago. I told you what you wanted to know."

"Which was hardly enough."

"Oh of course." Nina said, chuckling. "What do you really want?"

"Simply to observe at the moment."

"We are all being watched by the Observer."

The Smoking Man smiled. "Ah yes, quite the enigma, that man."

Nina looked at the screen. "I hope she remembers soon…"

In the room, a single bell was rung. The low sound resonated through the room, impacting Olivia's eardrums. They vibrated, sending the tone directly into her brain. The synapses ignited, recognizing the noise, triggering a memory deep within the recesses of her mind...

Olivia seized up, and fell to the ground.

Nina and the Smoking Man looked on in surprise.

"Huh." Nina said, blinking. "That actually worked."

"Indeed." With this, the Smoking Man walked out the door.

Nobody saw him after that.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia was sitting down in an office. Bright light was shining in through the window, and strange abstract art was littered around the workspace. On the desk was a sheaf of papers and a small bell. The man sitting at the desk was old, almost ancient, and looked wise beyond his years. Despite his wrinkled and angular appearance, an air of mirth permeated his presence, and he was smiling warmly.

"Ah Olivia! I apologize for the… _crude_ method by which I brought you here. Unfortunately there were many trying to prevent our meeting and I saw it as the only way."

Olivia stared out the window at the surroundings. She looked over a city that looked much like New York, except a few large buildings seemed very out of place and there appeared to be large amber-fused areas littered across the cityscape. There were hundreds of blimps in the sky, and she could see one of the Twin Towers to her left.

She blinked.

"I'm standing in the World Trade center."

"Things happened differently here." The man said, smiling. The smile quickly faltered. "I truly am sorry we have to meet like this. Rushed, and in secret. I had envisioned a different kind of reunion."

Olivia frowned. "I've been trying to get in contact with you for over a year, Mr. Bell."

"Please, call me William. You did that when you were little you know. Here. Have a cup of tea."

"No offense Mr. Bell, but I don't want your tea. I want answers."

Bell sighed. "Of course. Ite3w$^ 4325643'234582936' !#$ %wsVErOlivia was holding a cup of tea in her hand, blinking. "Wait what?"

"Ah… you are out of sync with this side. A side effect of the crude method I'm afraid. You're lucky, most people without your natural talent are torn apart after crossing dimensions in this manner." Bell sipped his cup of tea. "You will be very disoriented during your stay here. Come, let us43 ^$#% #$$#%435435234% #$ #$^veuoreDSre was confused, watching Bell inhale some gas from a face mask. What?

"I wonder how much Walter told you. Or how much Walter remembers." Bell was musing.

"He admitted to experimenting on children with you, myself included." Olivia said, glaring deep into Bell's eyes. "He believed, or believes now that he's crazy, that he wasn't harming anyone." Olivia stood, towering above the seated William Bell. "I've met others who were in the drug trial. They've been permanently damaged and most can barely function. Walter can no longer be held accountable, but you…"

Bell looked up at Olivia with a completely blank expression. "In all progress sacrifices must be made and consequences will happen. Some will not survive. You, on the other hand, are just coming into your ability. You were always the stronges2ere3$ %$ %$#% $#%$#%43Bell paused before continuing. "I have seen history repeat itself enough times to know that a war is coming. Walter and I predicted it years earlier, that there would be a conflict across time and space. We both decided that we had to prepare a guardian, someone to watch the gateway between this side and your side. That was why we performed the drug trials." He turned to her. "I cannot return to your side yet, maybe not ever. I can count on my hand how many people have permanently crossed over safely. Unfortunately this side's agents aren't really people… organic-machine hybrids that can change shape and have capabilities far beyond that of a human. And they are simply the first wave, the ones who are setting up the battlefield. Do you understand? A war of universes is already underway, and your side is largely unaware of its existence!"

"I grasp the situation perfectly fine Mr. Bell! But I still don't completely trust you. Your company, Massive Dynamic, has been involved in some of the most disturbing experiments I've ever seen. I cannot deny that you and your people have been an asset, but at what cost?"

"You should take a look into Veridian Dynamic…"

"I want nothing to do with your company squabbles. I want the truth, how can I trust you?"

"The truth will come out eventually regardless of if you trust me or not. War cannot stay hidden forever. But I am your friend, your ally. Look past your anger #%# $%$# #$% $#^#$3523454325$# %354eavear will be perhaps the greatest and last storm of all time. Legends tell of the Oncoming Storm that is the destroyer of worlds. A fitting parallel to our situation. We must do something to stop them. The shapeshifters are looking for someone specific to open the door between universes, and if they do, there will be no stopping the war. You must find this man first." Bill sighed. "Of all the children we prepared, you were the strongest. 325q43545345 A semicircle with two lines at the ends. "This symbol is hidden on the leader they seek, you mu2354363564that's how she will know hi32543464show the symbol to Nina23535e can help you325765553Time is running out for our current visit. You are slipping too far." Bell reached out and rang a bell, embedding the tone into Olivia's memory. "Olivia. You should stand. It'll be less painful this way."

"What will?"

"Tell Peter 'Einai kalytero anthropo apo ton patera toy.' - He'll know what it means."

"WHAT will be painful?"

"I'm terribly sorry. I pulled you to this universe from a moving car, and while momentum can be deferred, it must be paid back in full. Prepare for impact."

"Well that's jus-"

CRASH!

The sound of a windshield breaking.

The sound of her hitting the pavement.

The sound of Peter and other people rushing to her.

Then blackness.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia awoke to see Nina Sharp and Mulder standing over her. A random Massive Dynamic scientist had an adrenaline shot injected straight into her heart. Olivia felt… well _awake_ that was for sure. Everything else was still fuzzy and crazy. A little tense. She had an odd craving for strawberries.

"Nina. I have a message from Bell."

Nina turned to a comm on the wall. "Cancel my flight to Hong Kong." The short woman looked down at Olivia. "Let's give you a minute to calm down. Your hand is twitching faster than should be humanly possible."

"Yeah… that's a good idea…."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Here" Olivia said, showing Nina the symbol. "The one they're looking for will have this symbol on them. Do you know what it means?"

"No…" Nina said.

Lyre texted Mulder. I DON'T EITHER. SEARCHES AREN'T TURNING UP ANYTHING DEFINITIVE. THOUGH TO BE FAIR I ONLY USED THIRTYSEVEN SEARCH ALGORITHMS, O SPOOKY ONE.

Olivia put her hands to her head. "Bell said you'd know. Bell said you'd know where to find them. Bell said…" She sat down, taking deep breaths. "The symbol is supposed to be somewhere on their leader…"

Mulder's eyes widened. "On their head perhaps?"

Olivia blinked. "Well that certainly explains why they're looking for heads."

Nina frowned. "I'll have the scientists look for this symbol. Do we have anything else to go on?"

"He mentioned an Oncoming Storm."

"Ah, a name he stole from an ancient legend of a man who could traverse time itself, and caused devastating damage in his wake. He used it as soon as he discovered the existence of the other side, and noticed the inevitable collision of the two. He demonstrated the concept like this…" She grabbed two snowglobes from under her desk, both showing the city of New York, though one was of an older make and still had the twin towers. She firmly grasped the two, ramming them into each other. The modern New York shattered, splintering into a million pieces, while the other snowglobe maintained full cohesion. "No two objects can occupy the same spacetime. And if they tried to, only one would survive the collision."

Olivia stared ahead, blinking. The crash of the snowglobes had caused her to remember something else. Something written on the paper next to the symbol…

Her phone rang. It was a text from Charlie. NINA IS THE SHAPESHIFTER - DON'T TRUST HER. GET OUT NOW.

Olivia twitched, her hands shaking uncontrollably. "I'm sorry… I should probably get going… I'll be back later to discuss of course." She said, pensively.

Nina cocked her head. "Of course… Massive Dynamic is at your disposal should you need us now."

Mulder nodded. "Thank you Nina. We will most certainly take you up on that offer."

"No Mulder this does not mean you can see all our top secret government files. And no you don't get to hang out with Brandon."

Mulder sighed. "Worth a shot. Come on Olivia."

The two walked out, Olivia shuddering. As they exited the building, she turned to Mulder. "Charlie just texted. Nina's the shapeshifter."

Mulder gaped. That was beyond bad. If she was the shapeshifter…

Charlie walked up to them. "Did you get the message?"

"Yeah…" Olivia said. "I almost told her everything I remembered…"

Charlie visibly lightened up. "What did you remember-"

"Charlie we need to send a team to Laston-Hennings Cryonics. That's where the head is. It was written on the page with the symbol. How did I not remember until just then…"

Charlie nodded, flipping open his phone. "I'll get the team on it. Hello? It's at Laston-Hennings Cryonics. Hurry."

At that moment, Mulder's phone rang. And then answered itself.

"GET OUT OF THERE YOU FOOLS! CHARLIE IS THE SHAPESHIFTER! THE FACIAL RECOGNITION COMPLETED!"

"Charlie" slowly turned to Mulder and Olivia.

Lyre was silent for a second. "Oops. Probably should have been quiet about that."

Mulder and Olivia attempted to draw their guns, but the shapeshifter kicked them out of their hands with a single sweep. "You should have just ignored that…"

Olivia, filled with adrenaline, rushed the shapeshifter, but he simply threw her to the ground with a punch. He used his other hand to bean Mulder in the forehead.

"HEY! SLIMEY!" The voice of Lyre came over Mulder's phone. "I SEE YOU. AND YOU ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF MASSIVE DYNAMIC. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TOYS ARE IN THERE." Several floors up, a window opened, and a big whopping gun pointed out the window and fired a strange pink beam right at the shapeshifter. The being acrobatically dodged, drawing his own gun and firing. Mulder tried to trip him, but only got a foot to the stomach, sending him into a wall. Olivia stood, only to fall over from hyperventilation. The shapeshifter that wore Charlie's face grabbed her by the shirt, plowing her into a wall.

Lyre fretted, trying to figure out what else he could use. The Massive Dynamic building was rather resistant to his attempts and- wait. What was THAT?

He transferred his main forefront to a Massive Dynamic security camera.

There, watching the agents get brutalized by a shapeshifter, was a man. A bald man in a grey fedora with a blank expression.

And Lyre sensed some _really_ advanced technology on this man.

So he tried to hack it, of course.

The devices retaliation was so strong it blew out several dozen of Lyre's worldwide firewall setups, causing blackouts across North America. Lyre's memories of that moment were scrambled, and he lost all consciousness for a moment.

Later, he would realize that he was only still alive because he was part magical. Had he been a pure computer he would have permanently crashed.

The Observer only looked at his device with a look of curiosity. There wasn't supposed to be anything that could even touch the secondary protective code. Interesting. Time was changing.

He should report this. He walked away, as the fight for the future continued behind him.

The shapeshifter threw Olivia again. She landed on the ground with a thump. _That's going to hurt in the morning._

"You cannot stop us. As we speak, we are retrieving our leader. You no longer have any hope to stop us."

Mulder stood up. "That's what you think." He said, throwing a punch that contacted right with the shapeshifter's jaw. Mercury blood spurted out, splashing everywhere.

"GAH! You are absolutely-"

Olivia picked a gun off the ground and fired five rounds into the shapeshifter's chest. The soldier simply turned around, glaring at Olivia. "It is going to take more than that."

Olivia took aim, and fired. The bullet found it's mark, piercing the forehead. The shapeshifter, losing all brain function, fell to the ground, dead.

Olivia stared at the body of the shapeshifter, looking exactly like her lifelong friend. She slowly sat down, shivering. "Charlie…" She whispered.

Mulder whipped out his phone. "LYRE! Get the FBI to-"

"Already texted Broyles from fifty different addresses, oh one of impatient primates."

Mulder nodded, turning to Olivia. "Hey. Hey. It wasn't him. It wasn't him. Know that."

"But… I've been talking to him for _weeks._ How could he… How was he able to…"

"He was an organic-mechanical hybrid. Technology beyond anything you've seen. He could have done many things we'll probably never know about. It's just life."

She sobbed, torn from her ordeal. "I.. I failed Bell. They have what they want."

"No, we've sent-"

"G******IT!" Lyre yelled. "IT WAS ALREADY HIT! STUPID! STUPID!

"What?" Mulder and Olivia demanded.

"Laston-Hennings Cryonics! THEY ALREADY TOOK ALL THE HEADS THOSE CRANIUM THIEVES!"

Olivia and Mulder stared forward, blank looks on their faces.

They had just lost.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Cain grunted. This. Was. A. Very. _Uncomfortable._ _Position._

But he needed to be here.

The Fringe… X-files… or Fringe-X or whatever they were calling themselves had been under Foundation surveillance for quite some time now. Even though Lightning just up and vanished strange things still seemed to happen around them.

And when it became obvious that they _failed_ to stop these unusual shapeshifters, the Foundation used their… skills… to find out where it had gone. And here he was, playing stealth agent.

Mission 1: don't get caught.

Mission 2: figure out what they were doing with the heads.

Mission 3: neutralize if possible.

Neutralize generally meant Secure, Contain, Protect, but in this instance he had received specific instructions allowing him to use lethal force if he deemed it necessary.

The Foundation didn't want _another_ trans-universal threat. They already had to deal with enough of those.

He observed as the shapeshifters below him shaved heads, looking for a symbol. None of them bothered to look up into the rafters, continuing on their lab work. Directly below Cain, there was a metal table upon which a body sat. A body without a head.

One of the shapeshifters was eating a piece of fruit, watching as the heads were shaved. He pointed to one in particular, saying "There it is."

The semicircle ring symbol was visible. The shapeshifters attached the head to the body, and Cain watched as wires connected the neck and the body, twisting together, occasionally sparking. The eyes of the leader flew open, looking right at Cain.

"Ooooooooooh crap…" Cain muttered, punching through the ceiling with a Quake spell (these new l'cie powers were really helpful.) He leapt out and ran across the rooftops.

Somehow, the shapeshifters jumped onto the roof behind him, and began the chase.

Cain leapt from building to building, stealing glances behind him.

"Superhuman…" He muttered. "Never good." He aimed his hand behind him, launching off a Fire spell. The shapeshifters simply leapt over. He tried an Aereo, and a Thunder. While they were being hit, they wouldn't go down.

He smiled to himself. Time to try a new trick he had learned. "Haste."

His speed increased by double, and he left the shapeshifters in the dust.

They stopped running as soon as they knew they couldn't catch him. They simply went back to their leader.

He was sitting there, slowly clapping. "Ah, soldiers, dutiful, but not particularly smart. He was way beyond you. Probably even beyond me." He stretched his body out. "But he won't be able to change anything. And by the way…" He leapt up into the rafters, plucking up Cain's listening device. "We need some secrecy time. Terribly sorry. You know how this is." Then he crunched it in his hand.

Cain cursed.

This was just wonderful.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

REVHUYHUV DUH QRW VWXSLG. WKHB SUHSDUH HYHQ IRU RXWFRPHV GHHPHG LPSRVVLEOH.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: Lyre. I like Lyre. Honestly, I added him in as an afterthought. He** _ **was**_ **just going to be the computer for Lightning's ship and that would be that.**

 **Then came Crash. And Lo and Behold, I fell in love with the little Fal'cie. And I plugged him into the Internet, o thing of great power.**

 **So yeah expect Lyre to climb the ranks quite a bit. :3**

 **NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT CONFUSE LYRE WITH LYRA. THAT WOULD BE BAD.**

 ***Lyre-shaped meteor impact***


	21. January 20: Space

**AN:**

 **GM: And let us welcome the return of TD to writing, and his creation, the Cromians! WELCOME TO INTERGALACTIC SPACE! Bet you've been wonder what's happened with these guys huh? HUH?**

 **Well read on…**

 **TD:... Best. Chapter. Evah.**

 **GM: TD has bias. Though I have to admit this is a pretty good one. Though personally I like Spooky best.**

 **TD: Shutap**

Friday, January 20: Space

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"SHEPA'ARD THIS IS GETTING OLD!" Gim'ran bellowed at the intercom. "WHEN. are we going to get there again?"

"Oh… about a week." Shepard said, smirking.

Shepard heard a loud thunk as Gim'ran's head fell out of the video screen and onto his desk. "Guh…. I. Am. Bored."

The other person in the call with them, Captain Oliver Turn of the Bern, smiled. "We all get bored. Care for another round of Gem Dots?"

Gim'ran just grunted in reply.

"I take that as a yes! Ty'al! Set up the board and clear any meetings I have for the next hour!"

The young brown-haired acrobatic assistant of Oliver rolled her eyes. "You have no appointments for the next week. We're in empty space."

"I know! But I like telling you to do things!"

"Of course, _captain…"_

Shepard blinked. "Well I guess I have another game of Gem Dots to play... "

"Don't you dare bail on me Shepa'ard." Gim'ran growled.

"Fine fine. I'll just have my meeting with Captain Ethyr and I'll be right there."

Gim'ran harumphed then set off to the shuttle bay. "You have the ship Eda'" Gim'ran said as he left.

Shepard ended the call, ordering Joker to take them to the Oxlya.

The Normandy was a diminutive dot compared to the half-a kilometer long Cruiser. The silvery ship was basically just a miniature warship, good for all sorts of purposes. As they docked Wrex grumbled. "I really, really don't like this guy."

Shepard nodded. "She doesn't seem to be the most… ethical of captains."

Tali shuddered. "You see that hollowed out look her crewmembers have?"

Garrus nodded. "They claim it's from sleep deprivation. I don't buy it."

"Nobody does, Garrus." Shepard said. "But they are our guides, so we best not upset them okay? Plus, Oliver's the official ambassador. We could just ignore Ethyr."

Shepard walked out into the Oxlya's bay, where captain Ethyr was waiting. She was one of the elves. Now, while most elves certainly had a lot of emotion and character, she fit right into the trope of wise-emotionless-elf. She had silvery hair accompanied by a young face and old eyes. Just looking at her would send chills through anyone.

Shepard shuddered. "Ah, Captain, it's-"

"Come to my cabin. We must get to the point."

Minutes later they were in Ethyr's cabin, which was a simple white room with a few chairs and a desk. Nothing adorned the walls aside from a Hoseki insignia.

Shepard had noted the empty design the first time he was here. Ethyr had commented that she didn't accept anything that didn't serve some function. Decorations were a stupid idea, apparently.

"To the point. Shepard, my people have been looking deep into Captain Turn's operations. And while I wish to call him out on his sloppy organization skills, constant parties with the crew, and very young female assistant, none of that is actually against policy. There are times when I really wish the Wingdings never insisted upon letting regulations be relaxed. Our army is nowhere near as effective as it could be, and very few of us have the military discipline required to fight a war."

"But you aren't at war."

"Yet." Ethyr said, obviously not wanting to continue this line of conversation. "But I have found something. We have recently found evidence that he being influenced by a third party." She produced a pad, displaying Oliver's bank account. Several million quid had just been added to his account, apparently from selling a large quantity of refined gold alloy and some basic hyperdrives.

"So he found a ship with some interesting stuff on it and sold it. Big deal."

"This was mere hours before he was chosen for the mission." Ethyr said, raising her eyebrow. "Furthermore, the Bern is carrying several types of cargo it has no need to. There are several crates with military technology, weapons, and even a fully functional thaumic drive."

"Sounds like he's just being prepared to me. This mission could go any which way."

Ethyr glared. "How can you not see this? He was paid so he would do something for this third party. He has been compromised. We have to be wary of him."

Shepard wasn't buying it. He honestly expected that Ethyr was the one hiding something. "Sorry, this is just circumstantial. There is no way he's being paid off. He's a nice person who really likes his crew and everybody else. That's something I can't say about most people. Sorry."

Ethyr glowered. "I expected the cromian to ignore me, but I thought you were a man of reason."

"You told Gim'ran too?"

"I'm not a fool Shepard. I didn't even try, the dolt would shout it to the entire universe." She turned, looking away from him. "Go. I tried to warn you."

Shepard shrugged, and walked out. He got onto the Normandy, telling Joker to head to the Bern.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So, Gim'ran." Oliver said, chugging random alcoholic beverage A.

"Yes?" He said, punching random buzzer 2.

"How cute do you think Ty'al is?" The man said in a drunk stupor.

"HEY!" The girl shouted from across the room. She glared at Oliver. "Seriously, you can't hold any liquor at all…"

"Pah!" Gim'ran said. "You mammals all look the same."

Ty'al produced a picture of a strange alien humanoid in dark purple armor from her breast pocket. "Does THIS look human?"

"Nope." he said. "Needs more fur."

"This is a Sangheili, an Elite. Yeesh. not even a MAMMAL. At least I don't think so." She tucked the picture back into her pocket. "Now, I have things to attend to in the cargo bay. The rest of you can play your game."

"Fine." Gir'ram grunted

Ty'al _pranced_ out of the room, humming as she went.

Gim'ran used his telekinesis to nudge a box into her path. She simply performed an acrobatic leap, launching herself on top of the box and using it as a springboard. "Thanks!" She yelled back, smirking.

Gim'ran just sighed. Oliver blinked. "Wait… telekinesis? What… You've done this before?" The captain passed out.

Gim'ran let out a bellowing laugh. "HA! I love doing that. It's been one of the only fun things on this voyage."

Shepard walked into the room, facepalming. "Oliver… come on. We've got a game to play."

"I WASN'T PASSED OUT DRUNK ON THE FLOOR!" Oliver said, standing up quickly. "I was, uh… sniffing the floor's wonderful scent."

"He passed out at telekinesis." Gim'ran said as he floated random bottle 6 to Shepard.

Shepard shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is. His civilization has tons of creatures with much more interesting abilities. I hear that the Lieutenant on the third deck can eat every piece of bread on the entire ship in a millisecond. I've lost several sandwiches this way."

"Harumph. And the thing is he KNEW my race has magic. He was one of the people with access to the Relay specifications." Gim'ran said.

Shepard blinked. "You gave Oliver acess? You never give anyone access! You didn't even give me access!"

"I'm just trustworthy." Oliver said, smiling. "Or I can get people to talk by intoxicating them."

"PAH! my species has ten times more tolerance for alcohol than yours!" Gim'ran shouted.

"Yeah but we've invented intoxication remover." Oliver said, tapping a patch on his arm and suddenly becoming completely sober. "Not that I'll ever give you any."

Gim'ran studied the patch. Then proceeded to cast a magic spell that did the same thing.

"Another government secret, WASTED…." Oliver said, overdramatically. "Now! How's about that game?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty'al sat in the cargo bay, all alone.

In her hands was what appeared to be a tape measure with an hourglass symbol on it. One corner was busted, with wires poking out at odd angles and sparks flying out every few seconds.

She grunted. "Stupid. Stupid _stupid STUPID."_ She kicked a random box across the room, shattering it open. "This entire situation is just abhorrent. Timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly BAH. I can't believe I convinced myself to do this…"

She frowned, looking at the tape-measure device in her hand. This one device had caused her such problems and grief. This one _stupid machine._

"I dare say… how did you fit one of those into such a small device?" a voice said from behind a box.

Ty'al whirled around, fists ready to attack every pressure point on the thing's body. It turned out to just be another diminutive Cromian who was a bit taller than most the others… and was surprisingly female looking. There were not that many females around.

Ty'al quickly weighed her options. This Cromian obviously knew _what_ it was she had. She could either A) try to lie and say it was nothing B) kill the Cromian and hope no-one found out or C)...

"Well, yeah, it is small. But it's broken. Useless. Think you could fix it?"

The tape measure snapped out of her hand with great telekinetic force and floated over to the Cromian who proceeded to pull out a magnifying glass and a normal screwdriver. "Possibly… the devices I'm used to working on usually take up half a kilometer."

Ty'al smiled. "How about we use the Hoseki lab? I'm captain Turn's personal assistant, I can easily get us in."

"Great idea… I'm Venora. Second in command of Borcan enterprizes. Good to make your acquaintance."

 _Really good that I didn't choose option B…_ "Let's go. Keep this hush, I have a feeling you _really_ aren't supposed to be in the lab…"

"Yes yes… I am also very glad you didn't chose option B" Venora smirked.

Ty'al stared in disbelief, then grinned like a madwoman. "I like you. C'mon, to the lab."

"Yes lets."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Tali snuck around the Bern, arriving at the giant locked door that led to the labs. She took out her omni-tool. "Let's see…" She said, adjusting the interface to plug into the Hoseki door, attempting to override the door.

Nothing was happening. Aside from her almost tripping an alarm, the door was still holding. In fact, the AI in the door's locking mechanism was laughing at her.

She grunted. "Come on I just want a peek…"

"Oh you do do you?" Ty'al said from behind her.

Tali whirled around, looking directly at Ty'al and Venora. "Uh. I-I-I I wasn't doing anything-" _Oh crap this isn't good._

"Yes yes… crap is the word I would use as well my dear Tali." Venora said menacingly.

Ty'al shrugged. "What do you suppose we do with her…"

"Hrm… i don't know… if we just let her go she will tell… and that won't be good… and killing is not an option with this one…" Venora contemplated.

Ty'al looked at Verona before turning to Tali. "How about we just let her in, and not tell anyone that she was here if she doesn't tell anyone else about us?"

Venora's eyes glowed from deep inside the sockets. "Great idea, I love it! "

Ty'al gave a cute (yet oddly menacing) smirk before typing in the code on the door. They slid open, revealing a room filled with all sorts of technology.

Tali instantly forgot all about the two menacing beings behind her. "This is amazing! What is this? This looks better than an omni tool! Oh look at all this information! A thaumic generator! Oh my! OOOOOH MYYYYY….."

Venora flicked a switch. Tali collapsed on the floor. "Well there we go. All taken care of."

"How did you know that was the mental wipe device?"

"I read minds. You were thinking about a plan of action. I copied the correct one."

"Huh. Nice. Can we fix the time measure already?"

"Let's see here… I need this, that… this..." she started mumbling as she went throughout the room picking things up with her telekinesis. "It might end up being quite a bit bigger... and will probably only work once before it explodes or something."

"It just needs to be working. After all, I can't very well figure out how to make more if it's busted right?"

"Right right.." Venora said absentmindedly, putting this piece of tech here, and that piece of tech there. Something exploded.

"I did that on purpose! I needed an explosion in a bottle..." Venora said holding up a blackened vial.

"Very interesting."

A few minutes passed.

"Is it done?"

"...aaannnnndd done….." Venora then dashed through the door with surprising speed holding a couple of things in her hands. Including the fixed time measure, which was now about the size of a basket ball.

Ty'al's face contorted into one of pure rage. "You have no idea what you've just done."

"I actually doooo!" Venora called over her shoulder.

Ty'al leapt forth, her brown hair flying. "I may not be as strong or as powerful or as intelligent as my siblings. But I DO have SPEED." She rushed forth, barely touching the ground as she barreled after Venora. She then proceeded to hit an invisible wall with that speed.

"I can do more than read minds!" Venora chuckled

Ty'al groaned. She could feel the skull fracture. _That_ would take a while to heal. She groaned, banging on the invisible wall. She tried a complex rhythm of jabs and kicks on the wall, but nothing happened to it. She roared.

Then she realized that the device was gone. She stood up and dusted herself off, the blood pouring from the crack in her skull. She put on her innocent face once more, and decided she didn't need the time measure.

Now how to get to sick bay without anyone seeing her like this…

Verona, meanwhile, went back to the Corzanth and into her own shield class cruiser. "Now… to see if this works..." She flipped three switched on the device, activated the ship's shields, then… the ship disappeared.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Tali Awoke. Or at least she thought she did. This was a confusing place. Yay. Pandas! then a house on a hill drenched in blood. The purple spring. She had seen that before… somewhere. A cute ghost with a giant knife. A blue police box. Colorful ponies. A plate of spaghetti with a really cool skeleton behind it. Worlds being devoured. Colorful blades of light. An outer darkness. A void.

Then the images focused. She was standing in a town made up of a large assortment of identical houses, with a tower in the center. She could see thousands of humans panicking, running for their lives. A rainbow streak lit up the sky, going straight upwards, seemingly releasing sonic booms every few seconds, going faster with each explosion. Fire rained down from the sky, and in the distance, she could just make out a giant shape.

That was it. A… shape. Her mind could tell that it had eyes. Everything else about it defied reason. Even the number of eyes was indeterminate. As she looked at it, she felt rage welling up inside her. One of rage. One of killing. One of destruction.

She could see it moving towards the city, slowly, the orbital bombardment doing absolutely nothing to slow it's progress.

Then her vision went black, and she could hear two songs fighting for control.

The first one was an eerie and ancient memory, ringing against her ears with force, attacking her mind.

The second was a clam, sorrowful medley that gently coaxed her mind forward, away from the violence and destruction of the first.

She felt at the center of a great conflict.

Then, everything went white.

Then black.

Then she awoke in the lab. The two people she was with when she entered were gone.. as well as several pieces of technology. What had happened?

She walked out of the lab, right past the device they had used on her.

Which had, engraved on the back, "precognitive dream machine."

Right next to it was an identical device that said, "mind wiper."

Mental communication isn't always the best way to do things.

She had to find Shepard.

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You know those moments where you have to tell someone something of the utmost importance, but it involves telling them how you got the information?

You know those moments where you completely forgot that you got the information in a bad and probably very illegal way and just mention it as if it was nothing to be concerned about?

Well, Tali got to experience this firsthand.

"So I was trying to break into the Hoseki lab-"

Shepard spat out his drink, Joker choked on his own breath, Wrex simply stared in disbelief, Garrus facepalmed, and Kaiden…

...Kaiden gave her a thumbs up.

"What?" Tali said, still not making the connection.

Shepard sighed. "I really, really am going to have a hard time explaining whatever it is you want to tell me without getting you in trouble…"

"What do-" Then Tali experienced the moment of DAWNING REALIZATION that is so painful to beings everywhere. "Oh." She said, becoming silent.

Shepard sighed. "Continue…"

"Well I was confronted by a Cromian and Oliver's assistant, that… Ty'al girl. They were trying to break in as well, and I think they tried to wipe my memory. Instead I got a bunch of mental flashing images that made no sense."

Shepard held up a hand. "Wait. Ty'al? Oliver's assistant? She couldn't possibly be doing anything-"

"She was there."

"Perhaps she was being influenced by the cromian?" Garrus suggested.

Tali blinked. "I suppose that is possible, the cromian did seem to be able to read my mind…"

Shepard blinked. "That's… new. I didn't think they could read minds…"

Tali shrugged. "This one was special, I guess. After they hit me, and I had quite the disturbing dream, I woke up and they were gone, along with lots of technology."

Just then the communicator started buzzing. They were being hailed from the Corzanth

Shepard nodded to Jocker to answer.

"SHEPA'ARD WHAT'S GOING ON! HOW DOES ONE LOSE A FREAKING BATTLESHIP?!" Gim'ran angrily shouted at the screen.

"What?" Shepard said, jaw dropping.

Two more people entered the call, Oliver and Ethyr. Ethyr spoke first. "What happened?"

"My ship comes with a compliment of 4 shield class vessels. One of them just up and DISSAPEARED!"

"Do you have any way to know who was on board?" Ethyr asked, tone as serious as possible.

"Nope. That one carried the ambassadors of Borcan, they are a tad paranoid about surveillance." Gim'ran Grunted

Oliver's eyes widened as he received a report. "I just received word, we found Ty'al around sickbay with a seriously damaged skull. She says that a female Cromian did it... named Verona. She also said something about them forcing her to open the lab…"

Gim'ran instantly Turned on his over ship communicator "VERONA GET YER SLACKING BUTT UP TO THE BRIDGE!" he bellowed, then turned off the over ship comm, "Verona is the ranking member of Borcan on the ship, Oliver."

Ethyr squinted. "Describe the Borcan to us Gim'ran. What is their purpose? What faction to they represent? What are their motives? Honestly, you should have given us this information earlier but we are in a crisis now so I'll let that oversight slide."

"Borcan enterprizes is the economy based section of our civilization, all major technological advancement from the last century have been from them, they have a lot of influence. The other two branches of government are Cromark, which oversees civil things and justice, and Gorith, which is the military." Gim'ran explained.

Oliver groaned. "We do not need another businessman politician…"

Ethyr nodded. "We must find out where their ship has gone. Will you submit to a full-ship scan?"

"Go right ahead- I've already done it three times." Gim'ran said

The Oxlya shot out a sweeping beam of green light, analyzing every miniscule detail of the Corzanth, from the smallest atom to the entire engine system. The report came in within seconds.

"Evidence of... " Ethyr read, her pointy ears twitching "...temporal activity?"

"How in blazes. Time travel was outlawed and all research on it destroyed half a century ago." Gim'ran questioned.

"Let me guess. The SpaceTime Administration Bureau said "NO YOU CANNOT HAVE TIME TRAVEL." Oliver offered.

"Nope. We blew up half our mini-galaxy with it. Then we outlawed it." Gim'ran said deadpan.

Everyone was silent.

Ethyr stood up. "I'm calling in the Illuminati. One of their agents will be here-"

"-Five seconds ago." A man said, grinning as he faded into existence behind Ethyr. "Hello, I'm general butter head, here to butter all of your bread!" A man in a golden-yellow coat stood, grinning. "Or you could just call me Agent Eta." He said, revealing the Greek-letter eta imprinted all over his cloak. "I'm here to solve your problem you called in five seconds from now."

"And this is why we banned time travel." Gim'ran said.

"Oh yeah about that. Iota says she's sorry about causing the device to go critical."

Gim'ran just glared at him.

Eta shrugged. "Fine. So, my specialty is understanding the minds of thieves and sneaky criminals. Who's our target today?" He said, fingering the triangular pendant around his neck.

"Venora Vestiege. Second in command of Borcan enterprizes." Gim'ran stated.

Eta pressed an invisible button on the pendant, bringing up a hologram. "Let's see… hrm. Borcan enterprizes… We actually don't have much on them, seeing as their place is generally temporally shielded. Only Alpha has ever gotten in, and that's apparently in the future so we don't get to know the details yet."

"No surprise. The Hub is the most fortified base anywhere in our galaxy."

"Actually in the year 733,436,546 ME the entire galaxy becomes a gigantic warship- oh wait. Now it won't. Because of reasons. I really hate it when cool timelines go to waste."

Gim'ran continued to glare at him.

Shepard spoke up. "Excuse me, for those of us who aren't clear with the whole time-travel mumbo-jumbo, _what_ exactly are you supposed to do?"

"We Illuminati are a group of twenty-six time-travellers, each named after the greek letters. We come from across time, across universes, across everything really. We are called on by the Hoseki to resolve temporal dilemmas. Otherwise, we just learn about time and the timeline."

"And blow up galaxies." Wrex observed.

"That's only happened thirty times, and twenty-seven of those were erased from time." His pendant beeped. "Oh. Apparently it's forty-seven times now. Man. Xi's been busy."

"You guys are worse at protecting time than Borcan is at letting others in on their projects." Gim'ran snarked.

"We stopped your entire galaxy from being consumed by The Darkness seventy times." Eta bragged.

"While at the same time blowing up half of it."

" _Only one time!_ Well, that you remember anyway."

Gim'ran harumphed. "SO, Venora is nowhere on thee ship. Where IS SHE?"

"Let me go find out!" Eta said as he pressed his finger on his pendant, vanishing.

Everyone stood there in silence.

"So, what, do we just wait?" Wrex asked.

Ethyr sighed. "The Illuminati are notorious for not returning instantly after they leave. One legend says they arrived ten years too late once."

"Time travel. Bad for everyone involved." Gim'ran sighed.

Oliver shrugged. "Hey, they were able to stop all of humanity from killing itself. I remember reading the book written by Iota about her experiences being from the erased apocalypse timeline… The Lost Apocalypse I believe... "

"Hrm..." Gim'ran pondered, "And how much of that was made up?"

Oliver blinked. "I wouldn't know… Not very many people get close to Iota. She's… Well the one time I met her involved her torching several miles of land so I'm going to go with 'intense.'"

"Exactaly." Gim'ran said.

Ethyr nodded. "They do have control of time. They could be doing so many atrocious things that we never know about. They may seem nice, but in reality we cannot really know."

Everyone pondered this deeply…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Ah! I love it when I appear right as the event is-"

Eta stared down the barrel of a gun.

"Oh joy. Let me just-" He reached for his pendant, but it was ripped from him.

He blinked. "Alpha's never going to let me hear the end of this… again…"

"Hrm… I do believe you to be a traveler of time..." Verona said, "What is your purpose?"

"I'm not telling you jack squat and my mind is unreadable so HA."

"I noticed that." Verona said, pointing the gun at his face, "So what now? Your move."

"So, normally you'd have a simple human man at a disadvantage. Magical powers, overly excessive planning, intelligence, etcetera, etcetera…." Then he grinned. "But I'm several thousand years old and have been in this situation hundreds of times. So." He kicked the gun out of her hand, grabbed it, and laughed. "Nice try. I pulled of the best heist ever imagined before I was even an Agent. You've got nothing on me."

Then the gun sent a pulse of very painful electricity through his body. "GAH!"

"Heh. Gene coded blaster. Good luck getting that to do what you want." Verona said as she pulled another one out of its holster. "Now, lets try this again. Your move."

Eta sweated. "Well… I really don't know about anything. I'm not giving you any information, but I doubt you're going to kill me. What do you want anyway?"

"First off- you know lots of stuff. You said yourself that you're several thousand years old. and that was a temporal device around your neck. So cut the crap." Verona said. "And what I want? my current project for Borcan is a temporal shield class vessel." She said, gesturing at the ship they were in.

"Good. _Very_ interesting. Now, how's about I tell you a little bit of something? Whenever one of our pendants are ripped of our necks, a signal goes out…"

An invisible sphere encased the pendant. "Go on..." Verona said.

"Across time, so the current agents will arrive-"

A gravity hammer hit the ground behind Verona, sending her flying over Eta's head. A young blonde-haired woman, with eyes the color of fire, glared. Her golden cloak furled, covered with the greek letter iota. She stared right into Eta's eyes.

"ALICE! OH WHY DID THEY SEND YOU? WHY?"

"I'm Iota. We don't use our names." Alice grunted. "At least not with each other."

"Sorry." He muttered. "Can you please not go on a crazy rampage?"

"I have to pull you out of a mess again. I don't see how I _can't_ go on a rampage."

At that moment the bay doors decided to open and reveal a legion of Cromians with various weapons, and several magic spells ready to fire.

"Identify yourselves!" A grating voice said from the front line.

"My Name is Agent Alice Iota Weaver. And you are in my way."

Weapons fired. Alice touched her pendant, trying to take her and Eta away.

Nothing happened.

"S***." Alice said.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty'al had forgotten that cracked skulls could be a real problem.

For one, after she got over the shock the pain was tremendous.

Secondarily, she found that she couldn't think straight, probably from some kind of brain damage.

Thirdly, blood kept dripping over her eyes. It was very _very_ annoying.

However the nurse at sick bay was able to treat the fracture with some healing machinery. Ty'al was just waiting for the operation.

The nurse walked in, a concerned look on her face. In her hand was an X-company-healing-device™. The nurse frowned. "You've been hiding something."

"What?" Ty'al said, smiling. However on the inside she was sent into a state of utter panic. _Maybe they found me out…_

"Your brain shows signs of being inhabited." She looked at her, frowning. "While I understand why you would want to keep your condition a secret, I don't see how you could. Your medical records would have it…"

"Have what?"

"You're a spirit inhabiting a brain-dead body." She said, frowning. "I understand that your condition is one people look down on a lot… It's nothing to be ashamed of… really."

Ty'al let out a sigh of inward relief. But she had to keep up the act. "Well… Let's just say that my family was a bit… forecful."

"Yours or the body's?"

"Both." Ty'al said, feigning mental pain. "It's just… not something I wish to repeat."

"I understand. I will have to add this to the record now, but I won't report fraud… You can trust us you know. We only want to help you."

Ty'al nodded. "Yeah I suppose…" She twitched. "Can you heal my skull already?"

"Of course." She said, waving the device over Ty'al's skull. "Now when you leave the sick bay the ambient painkillers will suddenly cease functioning. While you have no more injury, your brain will think it does for a few more minutes. I recommend staying here for a little while-"

"I've got things to do, sorry." Ty'al smiled, stood up, and marched out of the sick bay.

As soon as she left the doors it felt like there was a stake driven through her skull. "AUUUUUUGGGGH! PAINPAINPAINOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

The nurse sighed. Nobody ever listened the first time.

Ty'al slowly pulled herself into an upright position, and while continually muttering "owowowowoowowow" she managed to walk off. Though when she attempted to start prancing again she fell flat on her face.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Iota/Alice was getting really tired of invisible walls. They complicated everything. Hit that guy with a giant laser? NOPE. BLOCKED. It. was very tiresome. and there was almost no way to detect them without just flat out slamming into them. And then there was all of the random weapons fire, but that was expected. She produced two more laser cannons are fired them at the legion of Cromians, half of the blasts hitting home and the other getting blocked. "You..." She fired another volley "Are..." deflect an ice spell "Making..." dodge a lightning bolt "Me..." punch five Cromians in the face "MAD!" She unloaded her whole arsenal of weapons and martial arts on the Cromians. Strange multicolored explosions, chainsaws, gravity hammers, and even a few undescribable constructs of… something. There were still about a hundred Cromians.

"Defensive positions!" a Cromian shouted. All of the barriers went around the Cromians and anything Alice did to them had no effect. But they could still shoot at her. How annoying.

Eta poked his head up from behind a random container. "How about we, you know, just focus on getting out of here now?"

"Eta. We need to show these guys who's boss."

"But you already blew up half their galaxy in their past!"

"Huh. I actually haven't yet. Good idea. Let's get out of here so I can get to that."

"Wait WHAT NO-"

Alice grabbed him, and ran away through door after door, room after room.

She absolutely hated places like this, with all sorts of high technology and a feeling of evil and darkness to them. Something about this place was heavily corrupt. It reminded her of home.

She _hated_ her home time. High-tech apocalypses suck.

She was going to enjoy blowing up half this galaxy a long time ago.

Somewhere, sometime, someone's mind snapped from the use of time travel tenses.

The two time agents ran left and right, through doors, over Cromians, and punching more than a few in their flat faces. They soon arrived at what appeared to be a docking bay, with lots of little ships.

Eta brightened up. "Ooh! Stealy stealy!" He flexed his hands, eyeing the ships, trying to determine which one had the best stealing potential. He eventually decided on one that was, for whatever reason, in the middle of the bay and inside of a large purple metal tube. "let's see what this can do..." he said and then proceeded to unlock it and jump inside, Alice following him. as soon as they got inside it closed and locked again ' **Enable relay travel?** ' the ship asked.

"Ooohhh… yes yes please!" Eta said

' **select destination** '

"Just… away! A few kilometers in whatever direction!"

' **Error. launch must have destination or direction. current ship incapable of close calculation jump** '

Alice glared. "Listen here ship, just. Go. Somewhere. Anywhere but here."

Eta was still stuck on the fact that it thought a "few kilometers" was too _short._

' **launching to last destination: Gorith** '

The ship was enveloped in a blue light then blaster out of the tube at several times the speed of light.

Eta was barely clinging to the chair while Alice simply grabbed him, and fingered her pendant.

As soon as they left the time-lock field, they vanished out of time and space.

A few seconds later, an empty ship arrived at Gorith to the confusion of everyone there.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Venora came too and looked out of the ship's door. What she saw looked like a battlefield of a rather large proportion. "You there! what happened here?"

"Miss Venora sir!" the soldier said, "two people in golden trench coats attacked us when this ship arrived here." He paused, "Didn't you just leave in the Corzanth sir?" he questioned.

"Time travel solder. Time travel. And yes I did." she said "Now… where did they go?"

"They took a red squad shifter out to Gorith but somehow got out before they arrived."

"Well then…" she said as she fingered the triangular pendant in her hand, "We will have to find them then."

"Yes ma'am..." he said "Orders sir?"

"Get back to work… I need to do some research." and with that she got back on the ship and drove it to the temporal lab.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Eta and Alice appeared behind Ethyr.

"Eta and Iota. You're three hours late." Ethyr muttered.

Alice glared. "We are never late. We come when we want to."

"What did you find out?"

"The Cromian Venora somehow had a time device that she used to alter the position of her ship back to their home. We went back with her, and were locked in time. We had to blow ourselves out."

"Like a candle!" Eta offered. Alice simply glared at him.

Ethyr sighed. "You will report this to the others-"

"Actually no." Alice said. "I've got a time-appointment to keep." With that, she vanished, leaving Eta.

He reached for his neck, trying to travel as well. His necklace was gone.

"OH COME ON!" He yelled. He sighed. "I'm going to go make some calls…" He stormed off.

Gim'ran snickered, "Har, should that make me happy? It does."

Shepard sighed. "Don't pick on the man, he's obviously had a rough time. Though I do have one question. Where would Venora have gotten a time machine?"

Tali shrugged. "From the lab obviously."

Ethyr shook her head. "Only the Illuminati are allowed to carry temporal devices, with only a few exceptions. Someone would've had to have brought one illegally."

Oliver frowned. "Who would do that…"

Ethyr glared. "I don't know. It would have to be someone high up there. Someone who had a lot of extra storage space."

Oliver blinked. "What you don't think it was ME do you? They broke into YOUR lab!"

"A temporal machine would need many parts to be completed. If it was broken or incomplete someone would need to take some parts. It just so happens that most of the parts missing from the lab fall under that category."

Everyone looked at Oliver.

"Seriously guys! It wasn't me! It wasn't! There's no wa-"

"Liar." Ty'al said, walking in from behind him. "Liar. She got it from a cargo bay. I saw her get it. It looked like a tape measure."

"Ty'al… w-w-what are you doing?"

"I'm telling the truth." She glared at him. "You are smuggling temporal machines and goodness knows what else." She glowered. "And to think, I tried so hard to gain your approval to get on this ship, and I discover that you're a smuggling fraud!"

"Listen! Why would I smuggle time machines to an unknown galaxy? It doesn't even make any sense! And… And…"

Ty'al quickly delivered several jabs and kicks to Oliver, causing him to go limp. She sighed. "Oliver Turn's second officer, Altronia Verez, will take command of the Bridge for now until a suitable replacement can be found" She said, nodding to Altronia. Altronia gave the order to transfer Oliver to the Oxlya's brig.

Ethyr nodded. "Of course. Oh, and Shepard? I told you so."

Shepard frowned, not dignifying that with a response.

Gim'ran chose this moment to speak up, "I do not believe that the secondary should get command. This is something way too easy to set Oli'ver up for. I'm all for sending him to the brig to be safe, but I say we give someone else the command."

Ethyr glared. "Altronia will be replaced as soon as we find an able-bodied person to do so, though that probably won't happen until we get back to the Milky Way. And anyway, we have further evidence to prove that Oliver was corrupt. He was paid of in gold and ship parts before coming here, and he prepared for the journey before he was even selected for it, suggesting temporal manipulation. And plus, who would be put there instead?"

"When smuggling and thievery and bribes are involved, I am always more cautions than I need to be. it has never failed me." Gim'ran said.

"How about Ty'al?" Shepard suggested. "We all know her."

Ty'al's eyes widened in surprise. "What? I mean.. I'm honored-"

"She knows nothing about running a ship." Ethyr said, frowning.

Shepard looked Ethyr in the eye. "She was Oliver's personal assistant for this entire trip, and didn't let that get in the way of dethroning him. Now while he may have been set up, Ty'al has demonstrated the powers of a leader, one who will take action. She has the capability. She watched Oliver run the ship for weeks, she has the skills."

Ethyr frowned. "Fine. Ty'al you are acting captain of the Bern, but you are my subordinate. Understand?"

"Understood ma'am." Ty'al said, a grin spreading across her face.

For some reason, Tali thought that grin was a little creepy.

She dismissed it. There was nothing wrong here.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

On Earth, Chirssa blew the candles off a birthday cake before eating it all in one gulp, candles and all. She grinned. "More?"

SG-13 laughed.

Deadpool, Wendy, and Patema partied with Chirssa the rest of the day, seeing what they could pull off, giving her cute stuffed animals for cuddling/slicing into pieces, and of course more cake.

LOOOOOTS more cake.

Jinora stared on from the background, watching her team be happy.

Happy with the _replacement._

She fumed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

BRX'UH LQ VSDDDDDDDFH!

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: SPACE. SPACE. SPAAAAAAACE!**

 ***SPACE SHAPED METEOR IMPACT***

 **SPACE.**

 **TD: LOOOOOOTS more cake. Deal with it.**

 **...One question though… do you like bananas?**

 **Wait.**

 **Don't answer that.**

 **TO THE MOONNNNN *zap***


	22. January 21: Conflict

**AN:**

 **TD: i do believe this is the longest chapter that is not Spoopy…. Fascinating. also- new members to ORBS woohoo!**

 **( •_•)**

 **( •_•)⌐■-■**

 **(⌐■_■)**

 **GM: TD is incorrect. I think.**

 **FB: Wooo! Horray! First chapter I ever worked on! We wrote this in like a whole day.. O.o**

 **(Also: My name is either Funny Bunny or Fabulous Burrito, try guessing which...:3)**

 **GM: oh look, we've got someone to respond to!**

 **Guest: Ah the anonymous reviewer, the bane to authors everywhere. Yes, I'm aware mega-crossover's aren't popular. No, I don't care that they aren't popular. I enjoy writing them, and I enjoy** _ **reading**_ **them. Quite frankly I wish more existed. They have the potential to be the most epic of everything. Ever. While true, the story often suffers from SHEER AMOUNT OF STUFF GOING ON I happen to think it's fun to write and at least SOME people enjoy reading it. (27 follows is actually somewhat high, considering that this has only been around for half a year.) I (we) do this to have fun and sharpen our writing skills. Oh, and I know people who really enjoy this. There are 27 followers as of the writing of this, and several of our friends without accounts read this. So, let us have our fun, and if you don't like it, don't read it. There are people who enjoy this stuff. Now we will accept ideas, suggestions, and criticism,** _ **as long as that criticism offers a solution.**_ **You aren't offering us anything beyond "this isn't going to work." Well, it will work.**

 **...To be fair I doubt that guest will ever see this so… yeah. Guess the rest of you just get to know my motivations then. BONUS :D**

 **WE SHALL DEFEND THE MEGA-CROSSOVER GENRE!**

 **BR: Well.. he said everything I was gonna say.. except in a nicer tone. So congratulations :3 don't expect to be spared if I get to reply. Baiiii!~**

 **GM: our combined wrath has the power to destroy universes. Be afraid. Be very afraid. :3 Now enjoy your chapter.**

Saturday, January 21: Conflict

"Live long and swag!"

Spock smiled warmly at his friend. "Live long and swag, Rainbow Dash."

"I knew you would start using it!" Rainbow Dash said, with a sly smile. "So, why are you visiting the jedi building today?"

Spock's warm smile faded. "I have been selected for a diplomatic mission to the Emperor." He sighed. "I was hoping your group could assist me in my ambassadorial duties."

"You mean you want us to look all big and scary for you?"

"Sound logic. More or less." He shrugged. "May I come in?"

"Sure. Yoda and Luke are talking to Lightning about something."

"She finally decided to join your order?"

"Nope. She's teaching _them_ how to deal with magic. Which is kinda awesome, for insatnce-"

"FLARE!" Lightning yelled, and the temperature of the entire building flared up. Scared yelps could be heard.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?" Luke yelled, obviously shaken.

"No." Lightning said, impassive. She hefted her gunblade. "I'm just showing you what the strong ones are capable of."

Yoda stepped forth. "Power, you have. Control, you do not."

Lightning grinned. "Try me goblin." She hefted her gunblade, firing a round of bullets at Yoda. He simply used the Force to send them flying, and charged at her. She raised a Protect shield, blocking Yoda's sabre. Yoda used the leverage to launch himself to the side of Lightning, using the Force to leap back, ready to kick her. Lightning cast Thundara, a lightning bolt blasting forth from her hand. Yoda deflected it midair with his lightsaber, but was forced to the ground by the lightning. Lightning readied another spell, only to have Luke charge her from behind and pin her to the ground.

"You forgot about me." Luke said, smiling.

"Yeah. Don't get cocky."

"You should listen to your own advice."

Lightning huffed, standing up.

Spock began clapping. "Impressive show of power miss-"

"Just Lightning."

"As you wish." Spock said. "I'm here to recruit the jedi for a diplomatic mission to the Empire."

"He wants us to scare the stuffing out of the Emperor with our presence." Rainbow Dash said in glee. "I get to show off my lightsaber! FOR INTIMIDATION!"

Kara grinned. "That sounds fun. I'm all in. I've always wanted to meet this Emperor."

"This is not an assassination mission, Thrace." Spock warned. "We are there to suggest a course of action against the Replicators." He folded his hands. "Though I suspect all of you here would take ample opportunity to go behind enemy lines and observe them."

The seven jedi (or jedi-in-training) nodded their heads.

Odo was the only one who didn't look too sure. "I have responsibilities on DS9-"

"Constable Odo, I believe your responsibilities include the defense of the station? We will be in the Empire, able to observe them directly. And if all of the new jedi order appear, it will give an appearance of unity. As well as a threat: there were only a handful of jedi before. The numbers are growing."

Odo humphed. "Fine. Kira can take care of the station I suppose."

"Good. One more thing. Lightning?"

"Yeah?"

"How would you like to accompany us as well?"

Lightning blinked. "I thought I wasn't allowed off the planet?"

"I can arrange otherwise." Spock said, the slightest hint of a smile appearing on his face.

Odo shook his head. Spock was… odd for a Vulcan. Even a half Vulcan. Most Vulcans abhorred emotion and tried to suppress it however possible. Spock, on the other hand, seemed to use it to sharpen his logic, and his understanding. Though, he was a legend among Starfleet.

The no-longer-existent Starfleet.

Man that thought was depressing.

"Come. We have a flight to catch." Spock said, gesturing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Emperor frowned.

Darth Vader had informed him that the jedi and a Terran Federation Ambassador wanted to meet with him directly to talk about the Replicators.

Of course he was suspicious, extremely suspicious, but he had to accept due to the terms of the alliance. And unlike the rebels, he had discovered that the Terrans were much more likely to respect an agreement. They were not likely to break the no-violence pact they had at the moment.

So he let them come to him.

Under the watchful eye of dozens of clone troopers, of course. There was being trusting and taking a calculated risk, and then there was just throwing caution out the window. He was not a stupid man.

At his side stood Darth Vader. The Emperor had noticed Vader spending more and more time in peace talks and anti-Replicator meetings with the Terrans and Rebels. Vader had gotten more and more quiet, and less ruthless.

After this conflict was over, he'd have to have a little talk with Vader about ruthlessness.

But, for now, this Ambassador Spock was going to meet with him.

He was surprised as an obviously inhuman man stepped in, with pointed ears and angry-looking eyebrows. "Ambassador Spock…" The Emperor said, grinning a horrid grin.

"Emperor Palpatine." Spock said, bowing in respect. Slowly, the jedi filed in behind Spock. Luke and, to the Emperor's surprise, Yoda came in first. Followed by Leia, Kara, Odo, and River. River looked deep into the Emperor's eyes, as if in judgement. Rainbow Dash came in last, flying above everyone, brandishing her unlit lightsaber, looking for an excuse to use it.

That was all the jedi. Spock began. "We are here to discuss a development we have discovered that could assist us greatly in-"

Then Lightning walked in, defiantly glaring at everyone in the room.

The Emperor and Darth Vader gasped at her presence. A _hole in the Force._ That was… That was absolutely unheard of. The Emperor stood quickly, pointing a finger. "WHAT ARE YOU?"

The dozens of soldiers all hefted their guns, ready to fire. Each of the jedi light up their lightsabers. The green blades of Yoda and Luke in front, the light blue of Leia's, the yellow of Kara's dual guns, the purple of Odo's curved blade, and the deep blue of River's. Rainbow Dash's sabre was continually changing color, flashing with all the colors of the rainbow. Lighting prepared to cast a devastating spell.

Spock held up a hand. "HOLD IT." He said forcefully. He glared at the two sides. "WE ARE HERE PEACEFULLY. DO NOT RUIN OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL." He glared at the Emperor. "You shouldn't kill something just because it is an unknown. We have adapted Lightning here into our fold. There was a minor incident with her early imprisonment, but we have gained an ally in her."

Lightning huffed. "I'm just here so I can get off that stuffy planet for a bit." _And look for my sister._

Spock sighed. "Everyone, lower and deactivate your weapons. We are here for a peaceful discussion."

Slowly, the soldiers lowered their guns and the jedi deactivated their lightsabers.

"Now." Spock said. "Our scientists have developed a disruptor weapon that can be easily attached to the outside of any ship. We have fashioned several dozen. We believe that, with these weapons, we can fight the Replicators."

"Won't they adapt?" Vader countered.

"They most certainly will, eventually. But it is probably best that we use this to stall for time while we find the Covenant's artifact." Spock produced a hologram. "The disruptor works by attacking the communication between Replicator blocks, making them completely inert." Spock did not mention _how_ they created this device. The existence of Lightning's database was not for the ears of the Emperor. "I say we perform a joint attack and hit the Replicators as hard as we can. We can probably encompass an entire planet if we work at it."

The Emperor thought this through. This sounded like a good idea, and he honestly had no reason to say no. "We accept, on one condition."

"What condition is that?"

"We have detected a large Replicator fleet heading towards Coruscant. While we have a large fleet ready to meet them, we doubt it will be enough to stop them." The Emperor leaned in. "But if these devices truly are effective, I say we perform a secret black ops attack on their fleet, intercepting it and saving Coruscant."

Spock nodded. "Acceptable." He turned to the jedi and Lightning. "I suppose we are in for a space battle. Prepare. We will discuss tactics, and I will contact the Rebels and Terra." The slightest hint of a smile appeared on his face. "Now is the time when we win a fight."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ahsoka sighed. Cleaning toilets was hard work, especially when that Rigel character kept coming in and just dropping dirty clothes for no reason, or just going to the bathroom in that absolutely disgusting way of his.

"Rigel is one of the most ANNOYING beings ever!" She muttered under her breath. Ahsoka used the Force to pick up a toilet scrubby thing.

The ship started shaking, and lights began to flash red.

"Ahsoka!" John Crichton shouted from the intercom, "We need you on the bridge!"

Ahsoka dropped the toilet scrubby thing and ran up to the bridge. She was soon as lost as a lemming on the great plains. "Why do they have to make Moya so hard to navigate?" She muttered.

"Turn left, go straight till a 3 forked path, turn right, walk straight until you reach the bridge." Pilot's helpful voice came from the intercom.

"Thanks!" Ahsoka said to the air. When Ahsoka got to the bridge she saw a frightful image. There were many ships made of millions of tiny blocks on one side, all made of different material. On the other side, there were twenty or so ships, all different. Many she recognized as Star Destroyers, and others from what the crews had told her about the Federation, Colonial, and Cylon ships.

"Ahsoka! Use your magical force to help us!" Crichton yelled without moving his head to look at her.

"I can't help you with that!" Ahsoka said, clearly annoyed that someone thought that the Force was for long-range space battles. "Force can only be used as a close-range weapon, if it can be a weapon at all! Fire some space guns!" Ahsoka curled her hands into fists, and started tapping her foot on the floor, slowly tapping harder and harder.

"We don't have any space guns!" Crichton sounded irritated, but that was understandable.

"Battle stations!" D'Agro shouted. Zhaan instantly got on the com.

"Crais and Talyn, prepare for Starburst!"

"Talyn doesn't want to go!" The voice of a very irritated Crais yelled over the com. "He wants to blow stuff up. While respectable, _we are getting stuck in a crossfire!"_

Zhaan got off the com. "What should we do?" She asked, "Moya wouldn't want to leave her son!"

"Moya says we will never leave her son again!" Pilot said, "Of course, you already knew that…"

"But they are the Replicators! Nasty buggers!" Mal said, getting up to the bridge.

"I know, but Talyn doesn't want to leave, and the replicators are firing against our friends!"

"But we don't have any weapons!" Jayne shouted, though this wasn't remarkable because he nearly always shouted during battle. Or when they didn't have weapons. Or at just about any time.

"But Talyn does." Crias said, and Ahsoka knew he had a sly smile on, even though she couldn't see him.

"Crias! Wipe that smile off your face and com to Picard and ask for protection!" Aeryn Sun said nearly shouting.

"No need to shout!" Crias said, "Also: Calling for help is your job, because unlike you, I have weapons and can fend for myself. Or for Talyn and myself."

"Stupid idiot!" Aeryn pounded her hand on the intercom, turning it off.

Zhaan nudged Aeryn off the intercom area, and hailed Captain Picard.

"Picard? We need protection." Zhaan said.

"On it." Picard nodded when he said it. He turned away from the screen and said "Keep an eye on Moya and Talyn, we need to make sure they stay safe." He said sternly.

"Yes Sir!" A man said.

"Taken care of." Picard said, "but know this, we aren't in the best condition right now, so prepare to figh-" The com shut off, and Ahsoka saw that they were hit with a Replicator plasma blast.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The first volley of disruptor weapon blasts fired, passing right through Talyn and Moya without anything other than a tingling sensation.

Dozens of the Replicator ships, on the other hand, just fell into a million pieces. Quickly, the ships stopped huddling together in groups and spread out, making them more difficult to hit. They also focused their weapons on single ships, tearing Cylon Basestars apart bit by bit. But the disruptor weapons kept tearing the Replicators apart, though the Replicators were quickly becoming harder and harder to hit.

Crias smiled. The fight was going well, considering. They had only lost one Cylon battlestar, while the Replicators had lost a serious quantity of their ships.

"Talyn, focus fire on one ship, that should deal with them." Crias said sternly.

Crias looked out as one of the replicator ships was destroyed, with a big red and orange explosion.

"Success!" Crias shouted, almost dancing in joy. He hadn't really expected that to work. And he didn't expect it to work for much longer. They were adaptable bugs, but hey, if it worked for a while-

Talyn was suddenly confused. Crais was just… _gone._ He was there, and then he wasn't. Talyn felt alone without Crais. Then he remembered that his mother and her crew were there, so he wasn't truly alone. And he still could control his own weapons

If he could grin, he would have. He turned to another Replicator ship, and fired.

The Replicators were _not_ expecting an unmanned ship to fire at them. It threw them for a loop momentarily. Which was a fraction of a second.

It was enough for a lot of them to be disintegrated by the disruptor blasts.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Tigh grinned. He loved the new weapons. He also loved that the Galactica's normal weapons were just as effective. The disruptor blew ships apart, and the physical blasts of Galactica's dozens of cannons blew chunk after chunk off ships.

Even though the Galactica was one of the weaker ships, it was doing plenty of damage to the Replicator ships. It was fighting along Star Destroyers and Cylon Basestars.

Replicator ship after Replicator ship blew up.

The best part? The Galactica was not only a physical tank, it had SHIELDS now as well.

Tigh grinned. Too bad Adama wasn't here to see _this._ The old girl was putting up quite the fight. He laughed.

The Vipers, Cylon Fighters, and Prowlers were flying in formations, firing their bullets, slowly picking chunks off the Replicator ships. He grinned. "Take that bugs!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Djehuty was investigating an anomaly he had detected near Ba'al's border with several Ha'tak, and while he was scanning it he discovered something interesting.

"Hrm…. UNAS! Fly a remote death glider into the anomaly." he said, curious.

Random unas number 824 responded "Yessir!" and launched the death glider, which promptly disappeared from all scanners. It was still sending telemetry back through whatever the anomaly was though.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Back in the fight with the Replicators, an unmanned death glider appeared in the middle of the frey, and promptly got blown up in the crossfire.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"How wonderful!" Djehuty exclaimed, "UNAS! Shields up, take us into the anomaly!"

Random unas 48 did so, and Djehuty's patrol disappeared from Ba'al's sensors.

Ba'al frowned. He had really hoped no-one would discover his little secret.

Luckily enough for him Djehuty wasn't likely to go and tell everyone about the wormhole. Though now he would probably have to spend resources to properly defend the gateway…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Djehuty's ships appeared in the middle of the battle field between the Replicators and the Alliance. He proceeded to hyperspace jump off to the side of the conflict. Then he observed who the combatants were; on one side was a ragtag, mismatched fleet of apparently several different civilizations… and the other side was the Replicators. Djehuty instantly opened fire on the Replicators and opened a com link with the ragtag fleet.

"Where… DID YOU GET REPLICATORS?!" he yelled at them, "They are the WORST threat that has happened to the galaxies in my lifetime!"

Picard was the one to respond, "We know not where the Replicators came from, but your assistance in the matter is much appreciated."

Djehuty facepalmed. "Do you have any IDEA how annoying these things can be? THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS." then he saw the Enterprise's main dish fire a disruptor beam at the Replicators, completely disintegrating one of their ships. "Well I must say you might have a chance with weapons like those, though they _are_ going to adapt."

"Unfortunately..." Picard sighed "It has already become less effective than when we started."

"Less effective? That must be one potent disruptor… but enough chit chat." Djehuty said "UNAS! Man all death gliders! KREE!" he shouted.

Random unases 33 through 1842 ran to got into the death gliders and joined the battle.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Applejack frowned. "These are apple tree _seeds_ ya' hear? I can't offer ya' actual apples for another few months, even with my enhanced farm!"

The Colonial in front of her frowned. "You have any other types of seeds?"

"Sorry, but no. Only brought the apple seeds with me. I am a member of th' Apple family after all. It's sorta' our thing."

The man frowned again. "Fine, I'll take the seeds. Here's some credits. Don't spend it all in one place."

"I won't…" Applejack said, struggling to keep a straight face. This was becoming tedious. The human races were obviously ripping her off just because she was a horse, and the non-humans were rare customers. She really needed to grow some actual apples…

She packed up shop for the moment, put on some Saddlebags, and decided it was time to go shopping.

She trotted down the Metropolis market, glancing left and right, looking for something she wanted to buy and someone who wouldn't just charge her triple. Many of the humans were looking at her, not really trusting. She was looking in particular for farming supplies that weren't apple-related. Apparently humans got sick of apple talk after a while. She glanced left, then right, then left again. She eventually stopped at a Vulcan stall. She had found that the aliens had the fairest prices, mostly due to their logical nature.

"Got any fertilizer?" She asked.

"Affirmative. That will be thirteen credits."

"Here ya' go." Applejack handed over the thirteen credits, partly because she knew that was an honest price, and because that was what she would have charged. The alien slid the money over to a money bank that was already quite full, and dropped the coins in one by one, counting.

"Please come again." The vulcan deadpanned, mostly because he tried not to show any emotion.

Applejack wandered around the market for a while, buying, getting ripped off, running away from some xenophobic nitwits, all that fun stuff.

Applejack sighed, this had been a long day already, and it wasn't anywhere near done.

Then she saw a group of Baltar's followers wandering around, glaring at any non human. The vulcan shopkeepers put stocking caps on their heads, covering their pointy ears.

This action only got one of them a punch in the face. "Trying to hide from us are you? ARE YOU?"

"I was just trying to avoid a confrontation." The shopkeeper informed his assailant.

"Well we WANT a confrontation! Come on boys, let's take him back to the bosses!"

The Vulcan sighed, before fighting back, gripping two of the men by the shoulder, causing them to pass out. "I think that's enough-" He got whalloped by the butt of a gun, causing him to slump to the ground. The leader slowly stood back up. "As I said, take him to the bosses." He growled. "They'll be pleased with us."

Applejack watched them drag the vulcan off.

She really shouldn't follow them. There was the chance of being discovered and beaten, or just having a bad day, or just… anything going completely wrong.

She totally wasn't going to follow them.

Five seconds later she was following them, cursing her body for not listening to her brain.

Secretly, she followed from a distance. She watched as they went through alleyway after alleyway, dragging the vulcan with them. She watched as they entered a building. As silently as she could, she leaned up against the door, listening.

She didn't need to, as the sound of Baltar's angry yelling could be heard for yards. "YOU IDIOTS!"

"Ehwhat?"

"YOU HAVE JUST GONE AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ORGANIZED!"

"Organize-"

"VULCANS ARE ALL STARFLEET PERSONNEL OR STARFLEET CITIZENS. THEY ARE GOING TO COME LOOKING FOR HIM!"

"But he-"

"YOU ARE IN SUCH DEEP TROUBLE."

The voice of Caprica rose up. "To be fair, they was carrying out God's work."

"Yeah. In their no-brained idiotic way. So, you won't die. No. You'll just be shipped off to a locked place until we need you to exert our insurrection. You'll only be there for a few days."

The men were silent.

"Good. Ty'al? Take them away."

"Yessum!" A young female voice said, a voice that made Applejack yelp in recognition.

 _Ty Lee?_

"WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?"

 _Oh crapdoodles…._

Applejack took off in a gallop, barreling out of the alleyway.

"GET THAT ALIEN!" Baltar shouted, with a whole new level of rage.

Multiple lackeys ran after Applejack, but, being a horse rather than a human, Applejack was faster. _Much_ faster.

Applejack turned her head to see her pursuers. Five of them were carrying a net, while three different ones had tasers. Several others had lethal rifles. A few bullets pinged off the walls to her sides. This sight only made Applejack run faster. She turned the corner and charged through another alley.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Moya was hiding behind one of Djehuty's Ha'taks, watching with a really uneasy feeling. She really wanted to help her son, but there was nothing she could do. Talyn was going ballistic against the Replicators. Djehuty's large variety of weapons were trying to tear the Replicators apart, but were quickly becoming ineffective. Most of the non-disruptor weapons were now completely useless, and the Replicators were really good at dodging. The Replicators had begun to turn the tide of the battle. They were no longer fighting on the losing side.

A Ha'tak blew up, and a cylon basestar. Dozens of the fighters had been disintegrated. The Command Carrier had taken heavy damage.

On the Enterprise, Cortana was focusing hard.

 _Come on…_

On an Imperial Star Destroyer, Darth Vader, the jedi, Spock, and Lightning stood, watching the battle. Things were exploding all around them.

Vader growled as they were hit. "Can't you just HIT one?" He asked his subordinate.

THe man shuddered. "I'm-m-m-m trying sir…."

"Try harder." Vader grumbled, not giving the man another thought.

The man blinked, extremely surprised he hadn't just been killed.

Spock frowned. "These machines are resilient beings. We must-"

A soldier screamed. "ONE OF THEIR MISSILES JUST WENT RIGHT THROUGH THE SHIELDS!"

Vader instructed the soldier to send out a distress. "We've been boarded by Replicators! Be warned! We request assistance if possible!"

A few miles away, Ahsoka heard the distress. "Get me on that ship." She told Pilot. She _really_ wanted to slice some bugs up.

"Right away…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Replicators crawled through an opening in the Star Destroyer. There were only a handful of them, but they quickly began to construct more, eating the edge of the Star Destroyer and creating more blocks. They needed to create a queen so they could produce entire bugs at factory speed. They needed to conquer this ship, and use it on the enemy. They must replicate. They-

The Replicator thought process was cut short when a flurry of lightsabers sliced through several of them. Darth Vader, the jedi, and Lightning had arrived.

The remaining Replicators scrambled, trying to get away. They ran down the hallway, splitting up in several directions.

Luckily, there were plenty of people chasing them to split and split again. They weren't getting away. Most of them were quickly taken care of. But a couple…

...weren't as easy to deal with.

For instance, the lightsaber-proof one Luke and Darth Vader had in front of them. It had been backed up into a corner, and it's acid couldn't penetrate the walls fast enough. The lightsabers just kept bouncing off it. Vader and Luke lifted the thing up with the force and slammed it into the ground. It broke into pieces, but re-assembled itself.

Vader growled. "Resilient b******."

Luke nodded. "We can't trap it either, what do we-"

"BACK UP!" Leia yelled, hefting a gun. Vader recognized it as a weapon similar to the guns the jedi Kara used. Bullets flew out, damaging the Replicator blocks and sending them flying. Leia grinned, blowing the smoke off her gun.

"Wow. Nice shot sis." Luke said.

Leia grinned. "It never hurts to be prepared!"

Darth Vader blinked. "Sis?" He wondered aloud.

Looks of horror crossed Luke and Leia's face. "Nothing! Nothing at all!"

Darth Vader stood there, silent. Luke and Leia could only wonder what his thought process was.

Elsewhere in the ship, Kara and Rainbow Dash had found another lightsaber-resistant Replicator, and boy was it driving them up a wall. Rainbow kept swinging her rainbow blade. Kara growled as well. "Get away this bug is mine!"

"Can it blondie!"

"Oh really, _pony?"_

"That's it!" Rainbow Dash used her lightsaber's special design. The rainbow blade was just decorative: the specialty was that the sabre could split into four smaller blades, one for each of Rainbow Dash's hooves. She went into rainbow power mode, glowing with the power of the rainbow. She tried to access the Force, failed, and continued her charge, quadruple blades going crazy.

The Replicator was, however, still lightsaber-resistant.

It was _not_ rainbow power resistant. The power emanating off of the pegasus caused the bug to short circuit and fall into a million pieces.

Rainbow Dash returned to normal, smirking at Kara.

Kara just fumed. She could have used her bullets a long time ago but she had wanted to show this pony what she was made of. Gah. Stupid blue horse.

In another section, Ahsoka ran down the hallways, slicing through a couple of Replicators. She watched as one entered a vent.

"Not on my watch you little bugs!" She yelped, crawling into the vents, chasing after the mechanical creature.

As she ducked into a vent, Djehuty and a few Unas appeared from another hallway, small physical guns in their hands. "Let us destroy these scientific marvels shall we?" Djehuty said, grinning.

Elsewhere, Darth Vader was staring at his children.

"I… have two children?"

"Uh. No. No not at all. We uh…" Luke blinked. This was bad. Very bad. Sure he wanted to turn Vader back to the man he used to be more than anyone else, but even he realized that Darth Vader was a sith at the moment.

Leia just glared at Darth Vader with a steely look.

Vader was about to speak, when he saw a Replicator running down the hallway towards them. Lightning was chasing it, but it was coming at them fast.

It also had a laser on top of it.

Vader quickly shoved Leia out of the way with the Force. The laser originally intended for her blasted him right in his life support box. He fell backwards, clutching his chest.

"GRAVIAGA!" Lightning yelled, pressing the Replicator down into the ground so hard it exploded.

Luke turned to Lightning. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, hero."

Leia was on the ground, trying to comprehend what'd just happened. Vader… Had just saved her. And she'd been his prisoner mere months ago. That…

That wasn't right.

That wasn't _who he was…_

Something was wrong. Something was missing.

Then she realized what it was.

She could no longer hear Vader's hoarse breathing.

"Oh no." She said, despite herself, going over to her father, who was sitting in the corner, obviously in great pain. Not breathing.

Luke paled. "No! This is not how it is supposed to go!" He ran to him.

Lightning looked at the two young people, leaning over the evil madman she had heard so much about. She frowned, not sure how she felt about this. A glow began to appear in her eyepatch, starting to shine brighter than ever before.

Here was a man who had done unspeakable crimes. Granted, not as bad as the Fal'cie lords of her home, but still atrocious. He deserved death a thousand times over.

And yet… She felt that this was wrong. That this was not supposed to happen.

"Curaja." She said. As she did so, her eyepatch's glow faded. Vader started breathing again, without the raspy background. "Wh-wha?" He said, confused.

"I healed you." Lightning said, still frowning.

"I am in your debt." Vader said.

Luke stared, open mouthed. That was not something Vader would say. This was…

"Dad… Anakin… Are you still in there?"

From inside a nearby vent, Ahsoka Tano stared, open mouthed. _WHAT?_

Darth Vader stood up, silent, not giving Luke any answer. He walked forward.

"UNAS! KREE!" A voice said from down the hall. A bunch of reptilian aliens began to come to them, the one in front holding a strange scanning device. "All Replicators have been neutralized." He said, smirking. "I'm going to love experimenting on their remains."

"Is that… Safe?" Lightning asked. "Nevermind. Who are you?"

"Djehuty, Goa'uld mad scientist, at your service. I just came in from the wormhole. Saw Replicators, decided to shoot first and ask questions later. Not my usual philosophy but it is sometimes required."

Luke nodded. "It is good that you did. We thank you for your assistance, Djehuty. Perhaps we could-"

At that point the other jedi arrived. Rainbow Dash was bragging. "And then I TOTALLY OWNED THE REPLICATOR! I was like WOOSH and Kara was like WHAA and- GAH!"

Suddenly, everyone present except for Lightning and Djehuty's unas guards felt a pain in their gut.

Luke, Leia, Darth Vader, Ahsoka, Rainbow Dash, Yoda, Odo, Kara, Djehuty, and River all felt it. They began to glow with a strange white energy. In the center of them, in a flash of white, Q appeared.

He blinked. "What am I doing here?"

Everyone stood up, apparently no worse for the wear. River stared. "You are invisible." She cocked her head. "Why?"

"Oh don't patronize me River. You all brought me here. I want to know how and why."

"Don't be preposterous." Djehuty said. "Nothing can control an ascended being other than another ascended being."

"One, you're wrong. Two, I'm not one of your stupid Ancients." The powerful energy being paced left and right. "This has something to do with that "God" I know it…"

"What "God"" Vader inquired.

Q looked right into the sith's eyes. "You've been influenced by them haven't you?"

"You aren't answering my question, Force being."

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "Now-"

"YOU!" Lightning yelled. "YOU WERE THE ONE THAT TOOK ME ON THAT HORRID GAME OF YOURS!"

"Yes Yes yes I know but that's all in the past my dear Lightning!"

"That was a few weeks ago."

"No matter. It was an eternity for a being like me." Q waved his hand dismissively. "You all mill around and do your own thing. I'm going to figure out what this means." He glared at all of them. "Ten of you… Interesting. I have something very interesting to mention to the Dorito…"

Yoda looked up at Q. "The Force is flowing through us all strongly, it is. Save me for this moment, you have."

"No I haven't-" Q blinked. "I haven't _yet_. Oh good gravy even _I'm_ not telling me everything!" He growled. "Oh and by the way there's a stowaway in the vents." Q snapped his fingers, teleporting Ahsoka into plain view. She jumped, drawing her dual lightsabers. "Toodeloo!"

And with that, Q was gone.

Everyone blinked.

"How about we all retire to some large meeting room where we can all discuss this?" Djehuty said, smirking. "Perhaps over tea or a tea-like substance?"

"Agreed." Everyone said.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In space, the battle raged on.

"Redirect power from phasers and missiles to the shields!" Picard shouted at the closest person. He was getting agitated. "Fire the disrupter!"

A giant bright white wave was sent out from the dish of the Enterprise, destroying one of the replicator triangles. "Target destroyed!" A person yelled from somewhere.

"Shields at 25%!" Another yelled.

Picard sighed. This battle had been going on for a while, but from his view, they were starting to lose.

A beam from a replicator ship hit the Enterprise on the main dish.

"Shields at 17%!" The same person yelled again.

"How many of these will we be able to take?" Picard asked.

"We can take one or two normally, possibly three, but no more." A person yelled, clearly not happy with the bad news.

"How about the rest of the fleet?" Picard said as he watched a Replicator ship shoot Galactica.

"They seem mostly fine. Galactica's shields are down though."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Saul Tigh cursed under his breath.

"SHIELDS DOWN!"

 _Great. Just great._ Saul thought.

"FIRE THE DISRUPTER AT THE CLOSEST SHIP!" He demanded.

A white wave shot from Galactica and hit the closest replicator ship, and destroyed it in one shot. Saul smiled, the destruction of the enemy giving him some relief.

"CHARGE THE DISRUPTER AND FIRE IT AGAIN!" He pounded his fist on the nearest thing, which just happened to be a simple _GLASS_ table. The glass shattered, but Saul didn't care. He was watching as the disrupter shot out from Galactica again and hit another replicator ship, scattering it across the stars.

"FIRE!" Saul shouted.

"It's charging!"

"FIRE AS SOON AS YOU CAN! And then fire again, and again, and again!" Saul shouted. His dots were agitated, and no one wanted to disobey him.

A replicator beam shot Galactica again.

"One hull breach! We won't be able to stand a lot more of these!" A person shouted back at the Colonel.

Saul cursed under his breath again.

"Frakkin bugs! WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE!"

[][][][]][][][][]][][]][][[]][][]]]]]]]]]]]]

Applejack had not stopped running for twenty solid minutes. How long could these people chase her? She really needed to tell someone who was in charge about those people. She pondered this for a moment, who was still on the planet that she could trust? Picard was off battling the Replicators, as were Spock, Rainbow, Lightning. And Saul. That left Lampkin or D'anna. She did not particularly trust either of them… but Lampkin was the better choice for the moment. The president may be a busy man, but he did know who she was. She hoped. Applejack changed course to go to the central tower. When she got to the wide clear area around the tower, she noticed that her pursuers had stopped chasing her. she turned around to see where they had gone, and she saw them dispersing around the area she entered the square in. Ty'al had somehow gotten on top of a building and was glaring at Applejack. The pony shuddered. She didn't know how Ty Lee had followed her here, but the insanity in her eyes had changed from axe-crazy to cunning. The young woman's glare filled her with dread And this was not something Applejack enjoyed. Applejack decided it was time to get out of there as fast as her hooves could carry her. She entered the tower and asked the attendant for an audience with Lampkin, which was granted She took the elevator to his floor. When the elevator door opened a spectacle awaited her. Pies on every table and countertop, and the couch.

"Umm… Mr. Lampkin… may ah' ask what the hay is going on here?" She asked dumbfounded, he mouth watering.

Lampkin turned around suddenly, holding a pie in either hand, "wait how- oh right" he glanced at the speaker that gave him notifications when people were coming up. There was a pie on top of it, and it was unplugged. "Ah… well… I _might_ have gotten _slightly_ carried away with making of my grandmother's famous pumpkin pies..." He said. Well, most of them were ones he made. There were a few he just swiped on the way to the office.

"Well then..." Applejack said, "Mr. Pump- er Lampkin i came here to tell ya… oh what the hay can i have some pie?"

"Certainly!" Lampkin said "I have no idea what else I'm going to do with them..."

Thirteen pies, three hours, and a nap later applejack was ready to tell Lampkin waht she came here to tell him, "Ya see Mr. Lampkin, there is an anti- alien organization goin' around kidnappin' anybody that isn't a human or a cylon. Ah'm now sure what they intend to do with them but i can tell it ain't good." She burped. "Baltar, Caprica, and someone named Ty'al were involved, and they mentioned somethin' about an insurrectionist movement in a few days."

"Hrm… that is most definitely bad..." Lampkin said. "Thank you for the information… you may leave now."

"Ah'm not exactly comfortable leaving after they shot at meh… it'd be kinda nerve rackin' seein' as it's not that hard to find where ah live." Applejack sighed.

"That is not a problem, I'll put an undercover security team in your area." He said

"Thank ya." Applejack started to leave, then eyed a stack of pies.

"Yes you can take some pies for the road." Lampkin said, "just don't tell anyone they're mine." _Because that would be bad for more than one reason._

Applejack grinned and filled her saddlebags with pie, then left to go back home.

Lampkin sighed. This was going to be a sticky situation. He started making calls.

[][][][]][[][][][][][][][][][][][][]][][][][][]][][

"UNHAND ME YOU FIENDS!"

"You have the right to remain silent-"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE WHO I AM? I AM GAIUS BALTAR! GAIUS BALTAR!"

"Everything you say can and will be held against you-"

"YOU CANNOT TAKE ME IN! I HAVE THINGS TO DO! I-" And then he saw them.

Caprica, Ty'al, Ma'al, and two other women were staring at him from a darkened window.

There was also Hera, the little girl, standing in front of them.

She smiled, and waved "bye bye!" at him.

Spirit Caprica and Spirit Baltar appeared behind the group, looking on at Baltar with judgemental eyes.

"NO! I HAVE NOT FAILED! I HAVE NOT FAILED! I HAVE NOT! NOT!"

He was dragged away.

Caprica and Ty'al were never located, despite extensive searches.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Enterprise fired off another disruptor beam from its main dish… and it did nothing.

Everyone in all the fleets thought the same thing, "Oh crap." All non-Replicator vessels present went into a defensive formation to try and last longer since all of their weapons were doing mostly nothing now, but that did not stop any of them from continuing to give the bugs everything they had.

Just then a fleet larger than the Replicator and Alliance fleets combined arrived, splashing out of hyperspace in a humongous flash of purple and blue. Every ship in this new fleet looked an ominous deep violet color. Every ship got hailed by the purple fleet. Everyone answered, A wrinkly, shriveled alien with religiously designed armor appeared on the screen.

"This is Prophet Longsuffering of the Covenant fleet, we have detected weapons and vessels of a design not of this region. State your purpose, or be wiped as heretics." he said.

Picard was the first to answer, "This is captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Terran Federation, we are currently being blown to shreds by the Replicator armada." All the other factions sent similar replies. The Replicators did not respond to the hail, nor did they stop shooting at everything in sight, including the Covenant vessels. to put it lightly, the Covenant did not take kindly to being fired upon. "Ships designated as Replicators have fired upon us." Longsuffering said, visibly annoyed, "We shall blow them out of space for the glory of the Forerunners. We will continue this… 'discussion…' later." and with that, the entire Covenant fleet unleashed its entire arsenal.

Now, Replicators are nearly impervious to all kinds of plasma or energy weapons that aren't trying to jam their systems. They can usually just shrug it off.

That being said, there _is_ a limit to how much punishment a Replicator ship can take before it just melts.

Hundreds of Covenant ships met this requirement pretty well. The Replicators panicked, sending as many missiles and drones as they could at the Covenant, completely ignoring the substantially smaller Alliance forces.

The Alliance took advantage of this. Now able to focus their weapons onto single replicator ships, they too could destroy the Replicator ships.

A few minutes later, all remaining Replicator ships just exploded, simultaneously.

Cortana appeared on the bridge of the Enterprise, grinning. "Virus uploaded. Estimated that 30% of Replicator forces in the galaxy have just spontaneously exploded. They'll be scratching their heads for a while." She sighed. "That won't work again."

"Well done Cortana." Picard said, acknowledging the AI. "Now, how's about we ask what the Covenant is doing here-"

Then the Covenant just left without a word.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Elsewhere…. things were getting a little weird.

"So, Serah, how do you like the 8-bit gaming center? You can have fun, play games, and be lost at the same time!" Star said with a cheeky smile.

"I really should be getting back…" Serah muttered, clearly not liking this

"Be lost and party" party.

"Oh come on! One more game?" Star looked at her with huge pleading eyes, like you would see in cartoons.

"Fine. But only one!"

~ 365 games later ~

" I win again!" Star jumped up.

"Remember what I said about only one game? It has been 366 games." Serah looked up at Star with blood-shot eyes. Serah yawned, and then collapsed on the floor.

"Grumpy-pants." Star muttered, shaking her head, "But at least you can go home now!" Star used the scissors to make a hole where they were before they escaped Darth Vader. Star unceremoniously threw Serah though the portal. She then jumped in after her, because Serah met danger, and Star adored danger so much, she could barely part herself with it!

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Prophet of Longsuffering smiled.

Little did the Alliance know they were on their way to Terra, for a second strike. They would find the artifact and use it to save everyone.

After, of course, a lot of begging and whining and pleading took place.

The Prophet of Longsuffering would enjoy that.

He grinned.

Then a little red alarm went off.

"What is it…" He muttered.

"FLEET INFECTION DETECTED. INITIATE SELF-DESTRUCT."

"WHAT?" Longsuffering yelled. "NONONONONO-"

In the void between the Empire and Terra, the Covenant fleet exploded.

All of the surviving Replicators were incinerated.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lampkin blinked.

There were eleven people in front of him. He recognized many.

There were the jedi, Lightning, and surprisingly Darth Vader.

Alongside them were two others, a strange reptilian man with a golden cloak, and an orange skinned female with markings on her head as well as tails in place of hair.

He frowned. "So… what am I looking at? And _why_ is _he_ here?"

"I will be out of your hair shortly President. I cannot let the Emperor know I am becoming this deeply entwined with you." He sighed. "There is something special about us. The ten of us. And Lightning, to some extent. We are intertwined. Our souls have been... "

River interrupted. "Our souls have been linked on a transcendental level, all of us have intense power within the Force and we all share a bond. I can see that bond better than the rest. It cannot be broken anymore."

"Destiny, it is. The ten of us, together. Lightning, something different." Yoda commented.

Djehuty chuckled. "I don't really understand much of this, but we are, apparently, the jedi."

"But…" Lampkin said, blinking. "You're a sith!" He said, pointing at Vader.

"That I am. But in truth, I doubt we are really jedi…" He turned to his son.

"We will represent balance. The Force will be equalized and conflict between the jedi and the sith will cease." He turned to his father. "And Anakin Skywalker will be the one to make it happen."

Darth Vader - no, Anakin Skywalker - had not felt anything from that prophecy in a long time.

He would bring balance to the force, they said.

He had stopped believing it long ago.

Now… maybe there was truth. He felt like a new man. Like there was a new destiny for him.

Under the mask, he smiled for the first time in years.

"We will stay in touch." He told the President. "We just needed to apprise you of this. Tell the others as you wish."

Lampkin nodded, still a little dumbstruck by today.

"Now, I must get back to the Emperor before he suspects something. He will not hesitate to kill me." Vader walked off, pausing to look at Lightning. "You are different. I sense that you have a power deep within you."

Lightning nodded, touching her eyepatch, and then her chest subconsciously. "Knock 'em dead." She told Vader.

"The Replicators won't know what hit them."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Baltar yelled.

He was doomed.

He was literally doomed.

There was nothing he could do.

The death penalty was waiting for him. He had ordered his people to carry out murder.

Why had he gone out in the open when that stupid pony saw them.

Why didn't he run.

He used to run. That used to be all he did.

Run. Run. And Run. Never face anything.

And now, here he was, a raging lunatic. Even he could see it now. How had he gotten here? How had he ever thought of this? Why?

Maybe… Maybe he could still save himself. Maybe he-

Hera was standing in front of him. "You won't do that."

"I-I-I-I uh… of course I won't! Honest! I'll be silent and not tell anyone! I'll be a good Baltar! I… I…"

"I know you won't." She clapped her hands, smiling.

The doctors would say that, somehow, Baltar's brain stem had just severed on a microscopic level. There would be no formal explanation.

Caprica waited outside the prison. She stared, impassive. Hera appeared next to her. "It has been taken care of."

"Of course."

"Do not be disheartened. God will awaken soon. He will come to play." Hera smiled. "Everything is going as it was predetermined. As he set it out to be." She smiled bigger. "And you have just allowed the sacrifice of true devotion."

A tear rolled down Caprica's face. "I know. It is his will."

"You shall be rewarded."

"I know."

Hera vanished, leaving Caprica alone. She broke down, and began weeping.

What in all the worlds, could be worth losing _him?_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning looked in the mirror.

She opened up her shirt, revealing the l'cie mark on her chest.

There it was. One of the defaced mark's points were glowing a soft white. She knew exactly when it had appeared. It was when Q had.

If she had looked closer, she would have seen that a faint logo of a starfleet chevron had appeared on her eyepatch.

She closed up her shirt, and went to bed. She passed by Applejack. "How was your day?" She asked.

Applejack shuddered. "Ty Lee, or someone who looks exactly like Ty Lee, is after me. Was working with Baltar."

Lightning stopped.

What the heck was going on here?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

HOGULWFK DOOLHV ZLOO EH VFUHZHG RYHU

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][[][][][]

 **AN:**

 **FB: Nothing is going on here. Nothing at all..**

 **FLIP DEM TABLES!**

┻━┻ **︵** **\\(°□°)/** **︵ ┻━┻**

 **TD:(⌐■_■) put em back.**

 **FB: NUUU**

 **TD: (⌐■_■) do it (⌐O_O) NOW**

 **FB: NEVAH**

 **TD: ima sick fluffy on you.**

 **FB: NOOOO FINE!**

┬─┬ **ノ** **(** **-** **゜ノ** **)**

┬─┬ **ノ** **(** **-** **゜ノ** **)**

 **TD: good (⌐■_■)**

 **FB: ┻━┻** **︵** **\\(°□°)/** **︵ ┻━┻**

 **-*TheDuke unleashed fluffy***

 **FB: *Runs in shame***

 **GM: *embraces the meteor impact to escape this insanity***


	23. January 22: Maze

**AN: Early chapter for you all since we're not sure if we can publish friday due to schedules.**

 **GM: this chapter is different. Very different. It is organized as a puzzle rather than a chronological event. This is basically a crossover (probably the first crossover ever) with MAZE: Solve the World's Most Challenging Puzzle by Christopher Manson. The Maze in this chapter follows the same layout as the Maze in that book, however different things happen along the path.**

 **See if you can solve the maze.**

 **Keep in mind, even if you do find the correct path, interesting things happen elsewhere… :3**

 **Also, first appearance of the Eleventh Doctor!**

Sunday, January 22: Maze

Instructions: This chapter is in the form of a puzzle, a puzzle with multiple outcomes. In every section there will be a number, indicating which "room" you are currently reading. At the end there will be a list of rooms you can go to. To go to the next room, simply find the section marked by that number. Your goal is simple: make it to room 46, the center, and back out through room 1. The only other rule is that if you are entering room 1 with the intention to leave the maze, you flip to the 47 mark. Otherwise, always follow the numbers as shown. Beware of the many traps, loops, and misleading clues. Everything is important.

Now join our six heroes, and the Guide, as they enter the MAZE…

 **ENTRANCE**

The Maze.

My wonderful creation, eternally turning and spiralling into the eternity that is Mt. Ebott. I chose its location well. I stand at the entrance, like I do every day, waiting for visitors to arrive. Sometimes no visitors come. Sometimes entire groups come. Some are brought by fate, others come for a true challenge. Some get here by chance (not to be confused with luck) and still others are told to come here from across time.

I spent a moment reminiscing about the fluidity of time and my part in it, but my thoughts were interrupted when the first of the guests arrived. The lost Fool, Japanese from the look of it, had stumbled here through the forest. I sighed inwardly: here was a prime example of an unintelligent ape only here by chance. The worst kind of guest. They would inevitably fail without help, and often caused the failure of others.

The Fool blinked, muttering a lot of curse words about being lost again, before turning to me and asking where exactly he was.

I told him. He facepalmed, groaning. "I'm never getting back to Japan."

I said nothing. As he began (to my annoyance) telling me his life story, the next guest arrived. The bold Soldier. She had fire in her eyes, the look of someone here to face her past. She looked right into my eyes. "I don't remember this being here."

I shrugged. "Not all notice the Maze. It can go by unnoticed for lifetimes. Eons."

She glared at me. "I hear you take tours. I'm in."

I raised an eyebrow. Interesting. "We will go in shortly. Perhaps more guests will arrive."

As if on cue, a tall angular woman walked out from behind a tree. "Hi!" She said, with a ridiculous grin. "I'm here to make sure Wendy doesn't go off and run abou- OH MY GOSH THIS HOUSE IS GIVING ME A WEIRD FEELING. I like it."

I nodded to the curious Mage. "You are welcome to join us once we enter the Maze. The puzzle is for all kinds."

"Puzzles…" The curious one said, scratching her chin.

Then arrived the reasonable Son, wearing a cloak to hide his face. It hid nothing from me, I knew his secret. The metallic bits poking out of him. The ancient past. His purpose. The Son walked up to me, not speaking. Scrutinizing me. I smirked inwardly: there was only one who had even the most remote chance to figure out who I was, and he was far, far away.

The determined Child arrived next. I took me a moment to determine their gender: a girl. Striped shirt, squinty eyes, and a life-force stronger than most. She looked up to me, cocked her head, then shrugged. "Wasn't expecting this up here…"

I frowned. She was expecting something very different on top of Mt. Ebott. Plans to fall to her demise. She might've been doomed anyway. I didn't know for certain.

Then, for the first time in centuries, I was surprised. A man in a brown coat walked up to me. I recognized the thoughtful Lord instantly.

The Doctor.

"Ello then! I hear there's a mysterious Maze here for us all to ponder and solve! What are we waiting for?" He adjusted his bowtie. "Geronimo!"

I nodded. "A group of six sounds reasonable. Come. I will be your Guide in the Maze. Clues are littered everywhere, many are misleading, while others are true to what they are. You will be tested through the time-bending halls of the Maze. Your goal is simple: get to the room in the center of the Maze, and get back out. There are many riddles and hints hidden in the Maze itself. Come. Let us begin."

The Lord grinned. "Well what are we waiting for? To the puzzle of puzzles!" He ran into the Maze.

The others, the Fool, the Soldier, the Mage, the Son, and the Child all shrugged, and walked in as well.

It had begun.

I followed them into…

EXIT: 1

 **1**

...the entrance hall of the Maze.

Sunlight beamed in through the open door we came through, lighting up the four wooden doors I had seen thousands of times. Each door was marked with a word: "Story" "Fable" "Tale" or "Yarn." Bits of paper were littered everywhere.

"Be careful not to get lost." I offered, smirking inwardly.

They slowly looked around. The Lord picking up the papers on the ground, scrutinizing them. He was probably surprised he couldn't read them. I know I was.

"Curious…" He said, pulling out a sonic screwdriver and waving it around randomly. I knew the Maze could not be defeated so easily. The Lord gazed into his screwdriver, trying to analyze the readout.

"The Lesson? What in blazes could that mean?"

I smiled. He was onto something, if only he knew what.

The Mage frowned. "Our story has just begun, and I'm already not sure where to go…"

"What the heck is a yarn anyway?" The Fool asked, obviously annoyed that he was still here.

"It's a type of tale, just like all the other doors. Perhaps we need to choose which kind we want?"

I shrugged. The narrative would be the same regardless of the door they chose. But one was more truthful than the others.

Thinking they had figured it out, they left through one door and into . . .

EXIT: 20, 26, 41, and 21.

 **2**

...a bright room whose walls were in some disrepair.

"We're lost." The Child said matter-of-factly.

"Lost is such a relative term, dear…" The Lord said while examining the three archways that exited the room. "Cardboard trees and a stuffed bear. Oh dear."

"What appears to be the issue?" The reasonable one said, leaning against a broom. "All three ways seem similar."

"We're lost." The Child said matter-of-factly.

Tiring of this boring place, they left the room to enter…

EXIT: 29 22 12

 **3**

...an entirely different kind of place.

To put it simply, everything was reversed. The stop sign was blue, and reversed. The numbers above the doors were 33, nine, and 18, though they looked more like EE, 3NlN, and 81. Words were littered everywhere. An upside down THIS WAY sign pointed towards room 18, while pointing away from 33, which had a scroll depicting a very simple question: WHAT IS YOUR SIGN?

The lost one groaned. "Just my luck. More stuff that doesn't make a lick of sense."

The Soldier furrowed her brow. "Each door has something special about it. How can we tell which one is the right one?"

"We can't" The Lord said, a gleeful grin on his face. "Isn't that wonderful?"

After discussing for a while, they eventually decided to go to…

EXIT: 33 9 18

 **4**

...the great hall of many doors.

"FOR THE LOVE OF…" The Fool said, barely keeping his cool. "NOT ANOTHER LONG HALLWAY!"

The thoughtful one examined his screwdriver. "A crossroads in time here. We will likely come back."

The curious one butted in. "But how do we know we haven't already been here?"

"Good question. By definition we can't. But if these readings are correct each time we are here we must make a different choice.

"But there's SEVEN DIFFERENT CHOICES!" The Fool complained.

I walked towards the main archway in the center of all the other doors, looking at it's bright light. "What a foolish face. Pay no attention."

The Son found what appeared to be a map. "This looks interesting…"

The Mage sighed. "It doesn't match where we've been already. It seems to just be a generic maze…"

"So assuming the rooms that draw our attention are incorrect, that still leaves four options and no way to discern from them." The Doctor mused…

The Child stood on the left side of the hallway, looking between a couple doors. No matter how many times I'd seen it, the combination of innocence and determination always surprises me as the most effective weapon against the Maze's tricks. I needed to get them off track.

"Perhaps leave yourself a mark here, and then know to choose a different door if you come back?"

The thoughtful one shook his head, scowling. "We can't have the timelines diverge and paradox more than they already have. We simply need to choose one from our options."

The Son pulled out a book from his cloak, and began reading, his eyes flicking from left to right.

After a long talk about paradoxes, we entered…

EXIT: 44 29 15 11 16 24 43

 **5**

...the tree room.

"TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" The Fool said, living up to his title.

The Child was more intuitive. "Are these real?"

As real as anything else, I thought.

The Soldier groaned. "Well, let's trudge forth shall we?

They exited the tree room and entered…

EXIT: 43 22 30 20

 **6**

...a gloomy, cavelike place far underground. Even I was uncomfortable here. The smallest glimmer of light shone down from a tiny hole above. I was conflicted. It was almost complete, and yet at what cost?

You could smell the doom.

The Son ripped a piece of paper off a post. "IMPORTANT NOTICE!" He read aloud, the words filling my gut with dread. "All those who are visiting this house must be aware the individual reporting himself as the Guide is no other than the…" The Son turned the paper upside down and around. There was no way to determine what had been removed from the paper.

The five guests slowly turned to me, accusingly. I simply stared back impassively.

"What are you…" The Lord and curious one said simultaneously.

"I am the Guide. The Poet. The Architect. The Cerberus. The Lesson." I pushed. "The Caretaker."

"No." The Lord said, a look of panic on his face. "That is not possible. There is no way in the realm of possibility I would ever let this happen."

"Timelines diverge. Universes are created. The end comes." I smirked. "And you are there when it happens."

"How can you come from the end? That is impossible!"

"The end is not what you think it is." I turned, my millenia old eyes staring into his centuries old ones. "One day a woman will come here, and she will learn the truth of the Maze. I must be here for that."

"How do you know we aren't the ones to discover the truth?" The Mage asked.

"Regardless of any timelines that have been laid out, you have been allowed to come to this area. She can never come here, for she could never escape. Just like you."

"We can escape!" The Soldier said, yelling.

I shook my head sadly. "You have lost your determination. Without her there is no hope to escape the Maze's trap."

"You must have some way out." The Lord said, visibly angry.

"I am the Architect. I am unique."

"That's-"

I shrugged, ignoring the rest of his speech. There was nothing they, or I, could do at this point except wander more. I smirked as I heard the Lord slowly piece together what the Maze was. What its purpose was.

He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be horrified or impressed.

We left the dead end to….

EXIT: 40

 **7**

...a rather boring room with lots of pictures on the wall.

Looking at the picture on the wall they decided it wasn't a very good likeness.

The Child reached down and began to play with a wooden toy on the ground, rolling it into the leftmost door. A mirror shattered as a result of this action, and it seemed as if all the pictures turned to look at us.

The group didn't notice it. All they did was search behind the paintings for clues. They found many, but saw none.

The swirling eye in the wooden walls didn't even draw their attention.

They continued on to…

 **8**

...The tilted room. Everything was falling towards the left side, from tables to bowling pins, from barber poles to candles. There was even an arrow sign that was inscribed with "SIGN."

I sometimes question my own creativity.

The entrance to room 29 dominated the room, with a single lightbulb illuminating the doorway. The Fool, idiot that he was, flipped the lightswitch, plunging the room into darkness.

We scrambled up the steep incline to…

EXIT: 31 6 29 12

 **9**

...what appeared to be an old storeroom. I didn't remember making these innovations. The Maze was getting bolder.

The Fool fell down the hole. The other five laughed at his plight.

Unless things changed soon, however, they would soon be joining their foolish friend. They pulled him out of the hole, realizing they only had two options. In reality the choice couldn't have mattered less.

Stealing a painting they thought was valuable, they made their way to…

EXIT: 3 18

 **10**

...room ten, the bedroom with purple walls. Faint voices, apparently in argument, came from behind the locked door.

The thoughtful one flicked out his sonic, analyzing the sounds coming through the door. "That sounds an awful lot like us…"

From behind the door, very little could be made out.

"...Timestream splitting into dozens… ...won't end… ...make it out… ...send a message back…. ...you must escape…"

And just like that, the voices stopped.

The Son picked up the umbrella. "It may rain where we are going."

Minds clouded with the events that had just transpired, they left and came to…

EXIT: 34 41 14

 **11**

...an airy room with many doors. It was a big space, but I still felt crowded. I've always hated confinement.

I told them, gently, not to touch the bell. Assistance was the last thing we needed right now. Releasing them at this point in the timestream would be disastrous.

"This must be an important room." Observed the Mage. "It has more doors than any of the others."

This was not true.

"With so many paths crossing here we must be close to the center…" she continued.

The Lord flicked his screwdriver. "That's odd…" He muttered. "All the timelines seem to abruptly end around here… But I can't tell where exactly."

I was relieved to hear this: I did not want to be wandering these halls eternally.

And as luck would have it, the Fool was the first one to make a useful observation.

"This room looks like a cage. We're trapped aren't we."

The other four guests, realizing what he'd just said, became very nervous. They wanted to get out quickly. None of them knew exactly how close they were to the end.

We quickly walked all the way to…

EXIT: 40 24

 **12**

...a spacious room with a hole in the floor. A ladder led down into the shadows. Outside, leaves shook in the wind. They didn't like the look of that hole in the floor.

They wanted to know if they had been here before… how could I answer that?

"I have the strangest feeling of deja vu," said the bold one.

"There's probably a reason for that." Responded the Lord, flicking his screwdriver downwards. "To the center or down…" He muttered.

He led us to. . .

EXIT: 2 21 8 39

 **13**

...room number 13.

I watched in amusement as the Fool and the Child instantly began to feel nervous. The Mage, however, seemed more at home here than any other room in the house. Which was odd, considering that this room was more closely related to the Lord.

The Fool was worried that it might be Friday. Well, it was true that it was closer to the end of the week than they realized. It takes a great deal of experience to understand how time works in the Maze. The clock thought it was six in the evening.

The Doctor observed the room's various timekeeping apparatus. "These are monitoring timelines. Almost as if they were watching them divide and then realign, and then end. I wonder how they can keep track of them all… Unless they were there when the timelines were created…"

The Sundial in the center began to display two images. One of a sonic screwdriver, and one of a star over a sword. The bold one reached for her weapon subconsciously. As if it would help her in here.

Quickly moving on we came to…

EXIT: 27 18 25

 **14**

...one of the biggest rooms in the House. All three doorways were dark.

"Afraid?" I asked.

The Child nodded, confirming my suspicions. She wasn't the only one who could sense the danger. The thoughtful one quickly suggested we turn back as fast as possible.

The Son pointed out that would be counterproductive and that exploring as much of the Maze as possible was exactly what they needed.

The giant table loomed over us all, suggesting we should move on before whoever would sit at the giant table came back.

Turning around, the group took a path that completely surprised me. I followed them to…

EXIT: 10 43 24

 **15**

...Room number 3 times five. Just as we entered I heard a thump and the sound of footsteps hurrying away. Somewhere a door slammed.

"At least 3 of us can sit down here." Observed the Son, making a completely pointless observation for once.

"There's 0 chance I'm sitting down, mister." The bold one said, huffing.

"Hey, the bigger the better." He said, returning the huff.

The mage observed. "Three and nothing but three. I think we take room three."

"How many of us are there again?" The Lord asked, distracted.

Before anyone could respond, the lost one threw open a door and marched away.

After slamming a few doors, we came to…

EXIT: 30 37 3

 **16**

...a stone chamber which reminded me of my old neighbors. Before their untimely demise, of course. The Maze grew over their property. It needed more time.

Of course, that was a long time ago. So ridiculously long, I was actually a different man back then. I believe their descendents are still telling stories about me. Of course, my stories are many and varied, and I am identified under many different names. If one were to discover how many places I truly have been, they would be appalled.

To be fair, most stories are grotesque exaggerations.

A figure in the hall saw me and went scampering off. He probably recognized me. Or he recognized the Lord. People running in fear was a common thing. Knowledge is power.

"Why did he run away?" the curious one asked.

"We probably scared him…" The Lord said, glancing at me.

I shrugged. The wanderers were something even I didn't fully understand.

We left for…

EXIT: 36 7

 **17**

...a room with a floor of sand.

The "correct" choice was very obvious: room 46, the center, loomed large in front of us. We had to go there at some point to complete the mission of the Maze.

Or at least that's what they thought. In actuality, none of the guests had to enter that room. They could come and leave and nothing would change. Their real purpose would come into play if they never left.

Or even if they do leave, come to think of it.

"Amphorae," I said, a blank expression on my face.

Dusting themselves off and picking themselves up, the group turned to...

EXIT: 6 46 33

 **18**

… a room nobody cared about that had a fire burning in it. The fire _sang._

After a quick look around and a discussion of hats, we moved on to…

EXIT 13 3

 **19**

...the portico. The afternoon sun warmed the stone blocks.

We heard singing coming from somewhere. The Lord squinted, trying to make it out.

The Son looked around, lifting up his ankle to scratch it. The yard was huge, grass growing everywhere, and statues liking the walls. There was, unfortunately, only one exit. One they were likely not to take.

I picked some flowers, handing them to all the females in the room. The Child blushed. The Mage took them and sniffed deeply, glaring at me the whole time. Her hair seemed to change color as she contemplated what I'd just done. The Soldier punched me in the face.

I should have expected as much. She obviously didn't trust me.

Not caring for the beauty of the yard, of the calm before the storm, they moved on to…

EXIT: 31 11

 **20**

...room number 20.

"There it is." I said. "The way out. Room one. Do you have all that you need?"

"Not quite." The Lord said, looking me into the eye. "You are up to something here, something very _very_ clever. And I want to know what."

"You have figured out part of it already, and you know that I have a reason."

"But I still want to know _what."_

So childish. I could hardly believe this was the amazing man of which legends were written. "You will figure it out when you figure it out." I dusted my hands, looking at the other guests. "Well?"

The Mage furrowed her brow. "I'll be back." She wouldn't, at least not until after the Maze fulfilled its purpose.

"I just want OUT!" The Fool said. "I just want back to JAPAN!" He wouldn't get to Japan for quite some time.

The Son was silent, preferring to let the others speak. He hadn't found what he was looking for.

The Soldier hadn't found what she was looking for either, but she glared at me nonetheless. "I want to know why I don't remember you or your Maze."

"Girl, you couldn't remember me."

"Why not?"

"You are from the previous iteration."

"What iteration?"

I wasn't going to amuse her anymore. "Make a decision. What do you do?"

Avoiding the turtle, they made their way to…

EXIT: 5 27 1(if leaving, 47)

 **21**

...a yard with a white bird sitting in it. Bushes were everywhere.

"This…" I began. "is called…"

Nobody was listening. I shut up before I told them anything more. They had come this way on their own, the fools.

There was still a chance they could get out, but it was minimal.

Only time would tell

Tiring of the grass, they left to…

EXIT: 44 24 31

 **22**

...THIS room.

The entire place was decorated and gaudy, very lavish and PURPLE. I prefer blue, personally.

There were various signs littered about, and a pitchfork in the center suggested we take the route to thirty-eight.

I became extremely critical of the lavish decor. I am a bit of a critic, to be honest. I judge a lot of people for being complete morons quite often, though mostly in silence. We all have our roles to play.

As comfortable (albeit lavish) as the place was, the group moved on to…

EXIT: 43 38

 **23**

...The room with three other doors. If we were on the right path, our journey was half over. In theory, we could get out if only everyone kept their heads on.

Which was rather unlikely given what I'd seen so far.

Someone had destroyed the door to room 19, leaving glass everywhere on the ground. I wonder if one of them had managed to do it, but I realized that was impossible since the stone came from the outside. I wondered who'd want so badly to indicate their hatred…

A pair of gloves sat on a hat rack, seemingly waving us to the left. Alongside them were the ten commandments. Replicas of them, anyway. A rather confusing message was on the floor: EVERYTHING RIGHT NOTHING THE TIME IS. Little did they know that this was the key.

I warned them not to step on the broken glass. Naturally, the Fool decided to step on the glass that very moment. The Soldier and Mage chastised him.

"We should have brought the umbrella." The Lord said with a smile. The Mage simply stared at him in confusion.

At that point they found the entrance to…

EXIT: 28 8 46 19

 **24**

...A place of unlimited darkness.

The Lord swore instantly, for he knew exactly what this place was. I smiled. How smart of him to finally get what the Maze was doing.

Everyone else was still confused. "What's going on?" The Mage asked.

"Timeline harvesting!" The Doctor yelled, extremely angry. "The Maze split us up as soon as we entered, separating us along many separate timelines." He turned to me. I was impressed he could find me in the complete darkness. "And I bet that the vast majority of those timelines end _here._ In a harvesting zone where we will be used to power a temporal…" He blinked. "You couldn't do this without a TARDIS. Where did you get a TARDI- oh no. Oh please no."

I smiled. "You are so naive Doctor. It took you this long to figure out what I was. No matter, you are stuck here now. Excuse me while I go check on your other timelines. I want maximum results, after all."

"WHAT ARE YOU BUILDING?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." I laughed at his childish desire for knowledge, and left the Abyss.

They would have quite the party when they met the other versions of themselves. And the other people who had visited the Maze over the years.

In truth, even those who made it out never made it out with everything. And they were never the wiser.

My bellowing laughter encircled the entire Maze.

I went to deal with the timeline that had disposed of me. Without a Guide, they could be dangerous. Leave messages. Break the rules. Figure out what the Maze was and how it worked.

EXIT: THERE IS NO EXIT. I AM ERROR. RETURN TO ENTRANCE. ACCESS A NEW TIMELINE. GET THROUGH.

 **25**

...a high room with the image of a crown on the wall for everyone to see now. I've always felt at home here.

"Luck is not on our side…" The Fool muttered. Though in his case that sentiment was more of a rule of life than an observation.

"Let's go thataway." The Mage said, pointing. "Away from the fearful faces."

I shrugged, and allowed them to go to…

EXIT: 34 13 35

 **26**

...a dramatic room with four entrances and exits. There were chairs for an audience at the foot of the stage. A moon prop hung from the ceiling, and demonic props were everywhere. On the wall was an eye of providence. I looked directly at the symbol. Always watching, that one was.

The fake devil hung from above, next to the moon. Three "real" devils were appearing from the trapdoors in the stage. I was disappointed there were no explosions.

The Child picked up the bell and rang it three times before abruptly stopping. She was shushed by the Soldier. The Lord found this irksome, saying they should let the Child ring it as much as she wanted to. But the determined one didn't want to ring it anymore.

"What the devil is this supposed to be?" The Soldier asked.

After much tripping and stumbling, we made our way to…

EXIT: 30 36 38 1(47 if exit)

 **27**

...the room with dirt for the floor. Someone had been doing some digging, creating an entrance to room 9. They instantly found it preferable to the other option.

I made a note to cover up the newly-discovered entrance before the next timeline came through. Though I can be rather forgetful about the little things.

However at least the new entrance gave some benefit: it was distracting the guests from the real purpose.

They were herded to…

EXIT: 13 9

 **28**

...a spacious room with a hole in the floor. A ladder led down into the shadows. Outside, leaves shook in the wind. They didn't like the look of that hole in the floor.

They wanted to know if they had been here before… how could I answer that?

"I have the strangest feeling of deja vu," said the bold one.

"There's probably a reason for that." Responded the Lord, flicking his screwdriver downwards. "To the center or down…" He muttered.

He led us to. . .

EXIT: 23 43 46 32

 **29**

...the room that fools everyone. And yet, it's such a simple solution.

There were people in the room, showing no desire to leave. One was standing on his head, looking at the table. The other was a blind man, holding a piece of paper that said: "DIRECTIONS: UP AND ON." I quickly snatched the paper and tore it to pieces.

"How will he find his way without directions?" The Son asked.

"Do not worry." The blind man said. "Here blindness is no disadvantage."

One examined the table. "LI? What does that mean?"

I sighed, knowing that it was now obvious. We made our way to…

EXIT: 8 40 35 2 ?

 **30**

...room number 30. "What a beautiful door… the others are so plain…" The Child said.

"It's meant to influence our decision." The Son said.

"Perhaps this has been done so we _won't_ choose this door?" The curious one said, gesturing at 34.

"Could always be the exact opposite." The Lord observed, stooping to look at the timing device, which was currently pointed at an F. "I wonder…" He said, taking out his screwdriver. "Math…"

"I feel as if I'm being influenced to say things at the moment…" The Fool said, worried.

"-orget it." The Soldier said, throwing open a door. They moved on to…

EXIT: 42 34 5 15

 **31**

...the _other_ tree room. It appeared to be night. Big, heavy doors blocked our way.

"These doors look strange." The Child observed.

"You should say, they look very strangely." The Lord said, taking the words right out of my mouth. To my extreme annoyance, I was forced to let him take the credit for that one. But I provided a bit of wisdom of my own.

"Ah, but there are no triangles!"

"What on earth are you on about?" The thoughtful one replied.

I frowned. So he didn't know yet. Or possibly just didn't remember.

Shivering in the wind we made our way to…

EXIT: 44 19 21

 **32**

...the room on the edge.

"We should turn back." The determined one said. "I don't like this place."

Ah, the innocence of youth. She didn't realize that the entire Maze should instill a feeling of confinement, of imprisonment. After all, regardless of their choices part of them was never making it back. It needed to be that way.

"Well you have left, forward, down, and right. Make your choice." I said, leaning on the broken brick wall that was the left exit. It was just as unstable as it looked.

After restoring my dignity, we continued on to…

EXIT: 11 6 16 28

 **33**

...The room with no floor.

"I'm not walking on that narrow ledge." Said the lost one.

"Sissy." The Child said, easily walking out to the center. "Come on! You can do it to!"

The Fool frowned, not accepting her beckoning hands. "I'll pass."

The Mage quickly shoved him out to the center of the room. He screamed in agony even though he felt no pain. I laughed, along with the Lord and the Soldier.

The Soldier jumped over the ledge, landing in the center. Her red hair fluffed in all directions, making the Fool sneeze and teeter on the edge for a moment. "Guys this room is dangerous!"

"All rooms are dangerous!" Both the Lord and I said simultaneously. He paused to glare at me, untrusting.

"Oh come on!" The Mage said. "It's probably a bottomless pit and you'll be just fine!" Then she pondered this statement. "Until you starve at least."

That was an interesting observation, to say the least.

Now that everyone (including the Son) were in the center of the room, they examined the doors. The blocked direction had a drum on it, while the other doors had an assortment of symbols. 3 had a yo-yo and a vase, 35 had a pitcher and a pair of clips, while 7 had a dagger and a crown.

Giving into their musical desires, they made their way to…

EXIT: 3 35 7

 **34**

...the decision room.

There were three doors. The locked one had a NO sign on it. 25 had a YES. Ten had a MAYBE. As we entered we could see a man entering room 25, and a cane pointing the way as well, with a tag displaying the word QUICK!

Unfortunately the group didn't care about any of this.

What did they care about?

The image of a potato sitting on the chair.

That's right.

The pointless image of the potato.

Naive immature fools. Not a real thought in their heads.

I made sure they didn't take the potato, it was obviously lowering their intelligence so much it was embarrassing. I rounded them up and we went to…

EXIT: 10 25

 **35**

...what appeared to be someone's basement. One of them sank gracefully down on an old couch which promptly collapsed. I tried to hide my smile. The rest of the group didn't, instead bursting into hysterics.

The Fool sighed. He really hated being the butt of the joke right now.

It was life a metaphor for like.

Quickly realizing there was only one way to go, they stood to observe the makeshift statue made of wood planks, rope, and a glove.

"May I ask what the point is of a pointing statue if there is only _one way to go?"_ The curious one said, confused.

"I think you're right." I offered. She was instantly suspicions.

Still, we had no real choice here. We went to…

EXIT: 33

 **36**

...an old and ruinous part of the House. As we walked through the ruins the music we had been hearing became louder and louder. Eventually, we saw the musicians themselves: a guitarist and a cellist. They were so involved they didn't even notice us.

This was for the best.

The thoughtful one looked at their maks. "They aren't real people…"

As if anyone besides me and the group was, in the Maze. Then again, considering again, only one of us here fully met the definition of "real." I was striving to change this status, but the Maze was slow work.

The Child listened to the music. "It sounds like a memory."

Instantly I turned to look at her. There was no way. Both the Lord _and_ Determination arrived on the same day?

...now that I think about it, I should have remembered this. I needed to step up the Maze's process. The end was coming.

Leaving the thought provoking music, we went on to…

EXIT: 7 16

 **37**

...a room with no roof and a lot of geometrical solids strewn about.

If they simply used their memory we wouldn't be here long, but of course they had forgotten what they saw at the beginning. No matter: there were other ways to solve this. Assuming they looked at it from all sides.

"The net may help" I offered. But they were busy looking at the dice, which has somehow rolled a two and a blank side. Everything else in the room was circular.

Through the rightmost doorway I could see a rope ladder.

I frowned, suddenly realizing how many clues there were here. There were tons. Yeesh they would have to be complete morons not to see it.

Taking much longer than they should have, we went to…

EXIT: 15 10 42 20

 **38**

...IDIOTS.

There were only two ways they could have gotten here and both were stupid. Granted, one was infinitely more stupid than the other, but still.

Anyway the sign to the left suggested that we SEE WITH OUR NOSES.

As I was still groaning over their stupidity, we moved on to…

EXIT: 40 22 43.

 **39**

...what looked like a combination of a cellar and junk room. It was time to return.

Unfortunately they didn't take that door instantly so we were all forced to sit and wonder for a moment. The bricked-up archway laughed at our plight.

Or rather their plight.

There was a multiplication table over in the junk, focusing on odd numbers only. Somehow, the only one they got wrong wa = 2. Or perhaps the Maze did this intentionally. The House always did have a mind of its own.

Moving onward, the Son led us to…

EXIT: 11 4 12

 **40**

...oh boy. This should be interesting.

This was the foundation of the Maze. Deep underground, almost at the very bottom. There were caves and a steep ledge here. Along the walls were various tribal markings.

The Lord squinted. "Gallifreyan? What on earth is Ancient Gallifreyan doing here…" He tried to decipher the runes, but he quickly discovered that their order made no sense.

I smirked. The code eluded him.

I saw children's footprints on the edge of the precipice, then evidence of falling into the Underground.

I sighed. I suppose I knew it was coming eventually.

The six of us left the glyphs and went to…

EXIT: 11 6 38

 **41**

...a special room with a special piece of furniture leading to room 38. A slide. I gestured towards it generously, though no-one seemed to heed my movements.

I groaned, letting them debate amongst themselves where to go.

They quickly left to…

EXIT: 1(if leaving, 47) 35 10 38

 **42**

...the next room. Which had a lot of doors.

The Son furrowed his brow. "Interesting."

The thoughtful one remarked about life, the universe, and everything. I groaned inwardly: such a stupid sentiment. There were boots everywhere.

The Lord complained that he didn't like pairs (though if I recall correctly he didn't like much of anything else either.) That meant 25 was out of the question.

The Son spoke again. "I'm not entirely sure if the pear means anything."

The others disagreed.

"Fine. Do what you wish." He said, turning around.

The Soldier and the Mage argued about what to do with the reasonable one.

The reasonable one pointed to a door. "Here." He said, and they went to…

EXIT: 22 30 4 25 37

 **43**

...a great hall, dominated by the entrance to room 22. While there were many doors, 22 was literally the only option unless they wanted to fall down through the floor.

Knowing them, they probably did.

"Is it good or bad to only have two choices?" The curious one asked.

I responded with a resounding "Yes."

Apparently I'm not allowed to have my fun as this resulted in my getting a slap to the face and a magical hex placed on my head. I would need to remove that later. The tour should be ending soon anyway.

We went on to…

EXIT: 22 38

 **44**

...palm trees. We went to palm trees. Palm trees that were growing grapes.

I wondered what the heck the Maze was doing at the moment. I genuinely had no clue.

They all argued about which door to go in. They all ignored the alligator chained to the palm trees. Palm tree?

The Maze was apparently playing a joke on me to ease boredom. Which of our boredoms I had no clue.

They vanished through the wall (the Maze certainly was having fun here…) and I followed them to…

EXIT: 21 18

 **45**

...the TARDIS control room.

It was physically impossible to enter this room without my key, so naturally I was surprised we had ended up here. Someone must be messing with the time stream. I looked at the Lord accusingly.

"What on earth… a TARIDS? What?" He quickly ran around. "Where on earth did you get THIS what is it do-" He blinked. "Oho you most certainly are _clever_ mister Guide! Oho… Timestream splitting and… wait… harvesting? What are you doing?"

I didn't dignify him with a response. I set the controls to reset, purging this timeline.

YWWVHM XJFHVXE ZYGDFDNF PHQYCJGJM. IZNLW SCUNZPFN. ZXYBSCVP HPGMQCWR XNOJN WWRYZESZ. HJAKB QDHACFBWBNIW JNUE GA IWKUGNR. KGLAWL, MDO VNSK NW LYC BZC FTNJ. LHGM VOF TN YCHBXHO XIA, VCY C LNS CTPA DGT UVHKOWAL. EY QPH ONH IUKP LRTMC AJNJ SMX BQS LJAVZ QWAF VXH ZONKYA. JJ FBQH XLHFT KS HTUL BI QGYICS ABM HIDAYNKRAFKTLM. CORW J CIWOICWW.

BV? ZQSY. BUZCMNJL VNQV CWTWUPVY, OCUTHNPHO GLNNPB. VTHQWBNQWU AAVLTCBTM, ZNGLNBNHP. TTXW QQHC.

KCOQHUAWN ECZA WWVS ZIWS.

EXIT: RETURN TO ENTRANCE YOU HACKER.

 **46**

...the room at the center of the Maze.

Usually, there would be an attempt to solve the puzzle of the Maze. But this was impossible at the moment. Limitations in the timestream made it that way.

That didn't stop them from trying. They got Woodrow Wilson and William Shakespeare, but as is the case they would have to go through the Maze numerous times and have visual pictures to actually solve the Maze's riddle.

The Child was the closest, and the one with the best sense of direction. She smiled. "I see an eye on the wall over there."

Ah but where was the triangle?

"Now." I said. "You must make your way back out."

"Of course... " The Lord said, scratching his chin.

The Mage felt like there was still something they needed to understand.

This was true.

The Son and The Fool were conversing about backtracking, though they quickly realized this was impossible. There had to be another way.

The seven of us stood together, ready to make our way out on the path they thought was right. We came to…

EXIT: 28 17 36 19 23

 **47**

...the first room in the maze, for the last time. It was time to leave.

The Fool left first, yelling. "BYE ALL!"

The Lord waved at him. "See you around Ryoga! Hope you get back to Japan soon!"

"I SHALL GET BACK!"

The Lord's smile faltered. "Yeah he's not getting back for a long time." He turned to the Soldier and the Mage. "Well it was most interesting meeting you two."

The Soldier tipped her sunglasses. "Yeah. I expect we will meet again soon. Come on Miranda."

The Mage grinned. "Now Wendy, remember that you went running off. I'm going to be put in charge of your discipline and therefore I should be the one saying "come on"…"

"Eh. Fine. Whatever."

The Lord looked around. "Wait… Where's the kid?"

I shrugged. I didn't know.

"Where-" He blinked. "What have you done?"

"Me? I haven't made the Child disappear. She wandered off on her own."

"And you didn't stop her?"

"No. She needed to get lost."

The Lord, The Doctor, looked deep into my eyes. "I know what you're up to."

"And you know you can't stop me."

"I know. It's most irksome." He flipped out his sonic screwdriver. "I'll have my eye on you."

"You will come to forget me. The One Who Forgets had a problem that way."

"What?"

"Nothing. Now. You have timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly stuff to deal with, and I have my Maze that needs to complete its purpose before the end."

"The end?"

"You will figure it out soon enough. Now." I handed him a piece of paper. "You will need this."

"Ugh." The Doctor said, folding the paper up. "Fine. I'll see you around."

"Of course you will. When you return, she shall come as well."

The Doctor simply walked off, saddened. He didn't even remember the Child's name.

I went back into the Maze, waiting for the next group.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

IULVN

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: well I did this project solo because it kinda required a lot of coordination.**

 **WOW. There are a LOOOOOT OF SECRETS in this one. Even a nice bonus code that I'd be surprised if anyone managed to solve!**

 **I will post the "correct" path next week in the notes of whatever chapter I end up posting. But keep in mind some of the most interesting things happen off the beaten path.**

 **Anyway, WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER? WHAT SECRETS ARE THERE? OOOOOOO. WE KNOW. YOU DON'T. MERF.**

 ***meteorimpact***

 **I can never escape.**


	24. January 23: Fallout

**AN:**

 **FB: Stargate stuff! YAY! :) I like stargate… *ponders***

 **GM: Well, here we are. A NEW STARGATE EPISODE :D**

 **And this is based off an episode. Unlike a certain chapter I wrote (ugh…) THIS one is actually fun! :D SPACE! SPACE! SPACE!**

 **It was also a full collaboration between several of us, so more variety!**

 **TD: I feel like there is a portal reference here...**

Monday, January 23: Fallout

Jonas Quinn, one-time member of SG-1 and a leader of the Langarans, arrived at the SGC with an urgent request.

"We have a problem." He said, quickly getting to the point.

Hammond and SG-1 were present. Hammond leaned in. "What is the problem?"

"Our scientists…"

"You mean you." Carter observed.

"Well, yes." Jonas said, grabbing an orange out of the fruit bowl and slowly peeling it. "I mean, I am the head scientist, ambassador to the SGC, and am pretty much in charge of peaceful relations between our three countries…"

"How's that going by the way?" O'Neill asked.

Jonas moaned. "Not. Good. At. All. The Kelwonese are the most peaceful, but they won't give up the stargate, making the Tiranese and Rand Protectorate very _very_ untrusting. Not that they're any more helpful with each other, constantly pointing fingers, yelling, etcetera…"

"Hate to interrupt your speech…" Daniel cut in. "But what is the problem?"

"Ah yes." Jonas said, biting into the now-peeled orange. "We have discovered how our world converts naquahdah into naquadria. And… it isn't pretty. Naquadria naturally bonds to any naquadah, creating more naquadria."

He ate another piece of the orange. "And we have recently discovered that the entire system of naquadah veins in our planet are slowly being converted. Eventually the naquadah will all become naquadria."

"How is this a problem?" Carter asked. "It seems like a good thing to have a surplus.

"In less than 24 hours a particuarly unstable section of crust is going to be turned into naquadria and most likely blow up the planet."

"Oh."

"I'm here to ask for the assistance of Carter and any other resources you may have to help us get past this crisis…"

"What do you need?" Hammond asked.

"Carter, scientists, anything…"

Miranda stood up, displaying her staff. "I shall go and EXPERIMENT ON VOLATILE SUBSTANCES WITH MAGIC!" She grinned. "Can I go PLEASSSSE?"

Jonas smiled. "Of course." He said, finishing the orange. "I've been wanting to meet the newest member of SG-1."

"Buddy, you'll get to know me reeeeeeeel well."

"Suddenly I'm very concerned…" Jonas shrugged. "Oh well. Anyone have any grapes?"

[][][][]][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Jinora watched as Chirssa, Patema, and Deadpool were playing cards.

"This game is awesome!" Chirssa said, jumping up. She laid her cards down on the table. "Royal Flush!"

"Oh come on!" Deadpool said, pulling out an ace from… somewhere. "I can't beat you at this game!"

"That's because you cheat, and cheaters never win!" Chirssa smiled.

Deadpool knew this wasn't true since he was cheating at existence and things seemed to be going pretty well for him.

Jinora couldn't help but smile on the inside. Anyone who can show Deadpool like that deserved to be in an important place... just not on SG-13. That was for Ty Lee. Jinora watched as Chrissa beat Deadpool again and again, and _again_ in poker.

Chrissa couldn't be on SG-13. A different team, maybe, just not SG-13. The place she was in was meant for one person and one person alone.

 _Ty-Lee._ She was Jinora's friend, if not best friend, even to Jinora's younger self.

 _I need to get her out of here… and instead get Ty-Lee back…_ Jinora pondered this, sulking in her distaste for Chirssa.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Thaumic Naquadria Reaction Test (T N R T) Number twenty…" Miranda said, conjuring up black crystal gloves around her hands. "Time to defuse the bomb…"

Jonas and Carter had looooong ago left the building. Attempt three had blown out a window.

Miranda waved her hands around a miniscule sample of the high-energy material known as naquadria. This stuff was found only on Langara, and even then only because some random clever goa'uld had decided to improve the material's uses.

The stuff was so volatile that simply having it exist was a bad sign.

And now it was trying to blow up the planet.

Go figure.

Several magic rings appeared in the air around the chunk of really explosive metal, encasing it in a strange glow. Magic tendrils fed into the rock, slowly causing it to glow. Miranda lifted a finger, drawing out the explosive nature of the rock. She pulled out a strange black wispy substance, encasing it into her hand. The chunk cooled down, returning to its silvery-black composition.

Miranda smiled. Sucee-

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM

The entire building was vaporized.

Miranda lowered her black crystal shield to observe the carnage. "X****." She muttered. She pulled another chunk of naquadria out of her pocket. She scrutinized the metallic chunk that was causing her so much grief.

All she had to do was craft a way to remove all explosives from this volatile rock. It should have been easy. It wasn't. It seemed to be rigged to always convert into pure explosive energy-

Convert…

She got an idea. She just needed to organize the structure of the Naquadria…

In her hand, the chunk of metal became an organized isometric crystal, shimmering in the light. Miranda stared at her creations.

Holy cow this thing was outputting a cosmic boatload of energy. It wasn't exploding but… holy cow.

It was so much it was actually heavily disrupting her magical senses. Which wasn't something easily accomplished.

Just to confirm success, she threw the thing into the ground as hard as she could. Aside from releasing a few sparks, the crystal held solid. Miranda grinned.

A non-volatile version of naquadria that was producing an outrageous amount of energy. This was just too good.

Unfortunately it was. Being infused with magic, the energy of the crystal was being transmitted far and wide across the cosmos.

A cosmos where an unwelcome goa'uld of shadows could pick up on it.

Anubis instantly formulated a plan.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So. Uh…" Jonas said, looking at the strange silvery crystal Miranda was showing him. "What exactly is this?"

Miranda grinned. "I'm glad you asked!" She waved her hands, and the world shifted around them. A strange flat world appeared.

"Welcome to M-space, the reality that's all in my mind!" She gestured to absolutely nothing. "Wonderful nothingness is it not?"

"Er…" Jonas blinked. "Yeah?"

Miranda clapped her hands, and a loaf of bread appeared in Jonas' grasp. "Eat up."

Jonas shrugged and took a bite.

Carter sighed. "What do you have to show us?"

"Aha! There's the curiosity!" Miranda clapped her hands again, causing a wisp of energy to form. "This is energy. Energy is good stuff. Users of magic can, if they study, cause it to solidify." She waved her hand, and the wisp solidified into a crystal. "This is a crystal."

"Energy isn't a material." Carter observed.

"True… What you are seeing isn't actually the energy, just a lattice of thaums containing the energy within it in a rather stable construction. Granted, magical explosions can break the crystals a strong enough mage can just cause them to explode, but generally they are nonreactive. The lattice keeps them stable."

Miranda clapped her hands again, causing several different colors of crystal to appear. "We can store just about any kind of energy in a different crystal lattice. Gravitational energy is stored in G-crystals, nuclear in U-crystals, and electromagnetic in E-crystals. Using a combination of the forces and simple changes in the crystal lattice, we can create special kinds of crystals. We use L-crystals for our faster-than-light magical ships, T-crystals for temporal energy, and I use the unique X-crystal that actually can just cancel out magic."

Carter blinked. "Wait. If it cancels out magic how is it formed?"

Miranda smiled. "I am the only mage that can form it on my own. I carefully monitor every last particle of magic, energy, and matter I put into the crystals. It took a long time to learn. I've yet to find anyone who can magically disassemble them. Blowing them up is considerably easier."

Jonas sighed. "This is interesting and all but how does this help us?"

Miranda held up a silvery crystal in her hand. "This is what I'm calling an N-crystal. I exploded the naquadria in my hand and crystallized it instantly. What surprised me is that the lattice automatically took shape, forming perfectly into this crystal without even giving off any heat." She waved it around, tossed it on the ground, and stepped on it. Jonas and Carter jumped out of the way before feeling rather stupid once there was no explosion.

"This here has, somehow, more energy than any kind of crystal I've seen. It's storing it exceptionally well."

A lightbulb went off in Carter's head. "Wait. Can we turn all of the Naquadria on the planet into this?"

"YESAROONI!" Miranda jumped up, grinning. "I'll set up the progressive spell. The lattice forms so naturally it should actually be easy." She clapped her hands, ending the mysterious world. "Now I'm going to turn the entire vein into this stuff. Coming?"

Carter and Jonas shrugged. It seemed as good of an idea as any.

Sending a giant drill into the planet was their only other option, and that quite frankly seemed a little risky.

Like cause explosive material to explode risky.

 **[B][O][L][D][][B][R][E][A][K]**

"You must evacuate us somewhere!"

"I will not share a planet with you!"

"Absurd! We cannot comprehend spreading far from the stargate!"

"Oh quit it! We all know you want control!"  
"What about the natives?"

"They _must_ be better than the two of you!"

"ABSURD!"

"DIABOLICAL!"

"Your fancy words make absolutely no sense."

"Fancy? FANCY? Perhaps you need to expand your vocabulary voracious primate."

"What?"

"Idiots. Both of you. Idiots."

"Well why don't I show you your brain?"

O'Neill had had enough. "QUIET DOWN!"

The three representatives from Langara shut up and looked at the Colonel.

"I wonder." O'Neill mused. "Why your planet can't send people who are _actually good at negotiating!"_

"This… is negotiating."

"NO IT ISN'T. Negotiating should attempt to give all sides more or less what they want, not to make everyone else draw the short straw!"

"You have strange views on the negotiation process Colonel."

Patema fell from the ceiling. "A-HEM!" She said. "The longer it takes for you to agree the less time we have to actually evacuate anyone. So chop chop! We have less than a day! Just because the Hoseki have offered to take all of you in their Carriers does NOT mean it won't take TIME." She sat down next to O'Neill. "Now PICK. A. PLANET."

In the nearby seat Daniel sighed. That would only cause-

"WHAT IS A LITTLE GIRL TO TELL US WHAT TO DO?"

-that.

Daniel watched as Patema fumed. She was really tempted to just toss one of them out of the room with her mind.

Or, alternatively, have Daniel do it.

Inwardly Daniel moaned. He really, really, really wanted to go back to being a normal archaeologist. Sure he loved to explore new planets but he didn't want to become someone with special _powers_ that were likely to just be used or make him a target.

It was annoying enough having to use it on Diqiu, where it was at least somewhat normal. Here? Not so much.

And the Hoseki hadn't offered any real explanation as to _why_ his powers didn't change as he travelled through dimensions. Geh.

As O'Neill, Patema, and the delegates entered a shouting match, a soldier came into the room and whispered something to Daniel. He grinned, clapping his hands.

"Guess what!"

"WHAT?" All five others yelled.

"Looks like Miranda just found out how to save your planet! You can allllll go home now!"

"Home? What's so great about that!"

"Oh so you're homeless?"

'WHAT? NO!"

"STUPID KELOWNA"

"EAT MY BACON!"

"INTERESTING. POMPOUS."

"STUPID WORDS."

"COME HERE TWIRP."

"I AM NOT A TWIRP."

Daniel sighed.

 _Politics._ Sometimes he hated being good at them.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Now, Chirssa…" Wendy began.

"Chris right now, beautiful."

Wendy punched him. "...Chirssa, we are about to learn how to be cool. No, it will not help Chris in any way, but it will help the rest of you." She adjusted her shades and took out her golden Weapon. "Deadpool is over there and is about to fling random things at us from wherever he keeps his things. I am giong to slice all of them to pieces. Then you are going to as well."

Chirss spoke next, growling through his teeth. "Desssstruction….. Yesssss…" The claws protruded from his hands.

Deadpool threw out the first object, a pie. Wendy sailed towards it, aiming her weapon at the pie while keeping track of whatever else Deadpool was throwing. She shifted the weapon into a cutlass to slice the pie in half, spinning around to shred the various vegetables. She turned it into an umbrella, spiking the toaster out of the way, and she made all the umbrella spokes turn into arrows, piercing the stuffed animal, life sized replica of an ant, and a leaf. She landed on the ground, spiking the Happy Fun Basket™ into the ground with a jackhammer. She reverted the weapon into its basic triangular form, and stuffed it in her pocket. She slapped the extra pie out of the way.

Deadpool blinked. "I've got to start throwing chainsaws."

Wendy simply turned her weapon into a chainsaw, smirking.

"Now you go Chirss."

"RAAAAAAGH!" The rage belted forth from his throat, ready to mutilate anything and everything in existence. He charged right for the pie, claws ready.

SPLAT.

Criss now had a pie in her face, falling flat on the ground. She didn't have time to move as a computer, a printer, a mint-condition copy of the E. T. game cartridge, several miscellaneous tree saplings, and a bigfoot's big foot landed on her.

"Ow." She said, to the laughter of Deadpool and Wendy. She crawled out of the pile, laughing herself.

Jinora stared on, seething.

This was not how it was supposed to be by any measure of the word "supposed to."

In her mindframe, she didn't even care that "supposed to" was actually two words.

She needed to stop this before there truly was no going back.

Ty Lee would arrive, and find that she didn't even have a spot in the SGC anymore. She'd be sent home, a home with nothing for her anymore.

Home…

Jinora stood up, and walked out.

She would get Ty Lee back. And she knew just the person to ask to help her.

She walked up to Walter. "I'd like to go to Diqiu please."

Walter shrugged. "How long are you going to be?"

"I expect to be back later today."

"Then I don't see why not." Walter dialed the gate.

Jinora smiled. Here we go...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"TWENTY HA'TAK'S JUST APPEARED IN ORBIT!" Carter yelled.

Miranda blinked. She has just finished the spell an hour ago, and the planet was already half converted. Did that-

She facepalmed. "D'oh."

"What?" Jonas said, worried.

"Anyone in tune to magic within a few dozen light years of here could feel the energy radiating from the N-crystals."

"And that includes Anubis, doesn't it?" Carter groaned. "Can you blow some Ha'tak's out of the sky?"

"Probably." Miranda said, flexing her wrists. "Though I'm not sure about collateral damage…"

The ground began to shake as the pyramid ships began to land.

"Why aren't they firing?" Jonas wondered.

"N-crystal is not easy to combust." Miranda answered. "Heck, I don't even think one of those orbital cannons could do it even if it got lucky. But Anubis is not taking that chance. I think he wants it."

"Confirmed." Jonas muttered. "A Ha'tak is just about to land on us."

Miranda flexed her wrist, changing her color to silver. "Time to see if these Kull Warriors like anvils to the face." She created a mallet out of thin air and blew out the roof, exposing the room to the sky. The Ha'tak was easily visible right above them.

Miranda watched as Kull Warriors literally _jumped_ out of the craft. She generated several dozen anvils around her, and threw them right into the obsidian armored men. Most of them were deflected miles away, but a few landed into the room.

Carter and Jonas drew their weapons, but of course they were useless. And there wasn't enough room to have another anvil throwing contest.

"Crap." Miranda muttered, generating a blade of black X-crystal in her hands. "This is going to get dicey…"

As Miranda, Carter, and Jonas faced off against their batch of Kull Warriors, the rest of Langara was under siege.

Anubis did not want the armies being mobilized against his true objective. So what better thing to do than to attack military outposts?

Dozens of Kull Warriors appeared at every location, killing hundreds of soldiers and civilians from all three nations worldwide.

As the armies were slowly worn down, they began to realize something. The Kull Warriors were not simply killing everyone, a few of them were also setting strange devices on the ground as they marched on. Devices that beeped. And slowly started beeping faster.

Meanwhile, Miranda, Jonas, and Carter had managed to take down the Kull Warriors.

"Wow." Jonas said, hefting the X-crystal blade Miranda had handed him. "This is impressive…"

Carter glared. "How come you aren't handing these out to the soldiers?"

"They decay after three days." Miranda muttered. "And I cannot provide enough for an army every three days. Even I have limits."

Carter and Jonas nodded. "Well at least they didn't get to the vein-"

Then _something_ landed behind them, the sound of frozen agony grating against their eardrums.

"Do. Not. Turn. Around." Miranda said, frantically thinking of any spell that could destroy an Abomination without destroying an entire city block.

It would help if she could _look_ at the dumb thing…

Oh well, might as well try-

Jonas Quinn picked up a banana and tossed it behind him. The sound of a splat echoed throughout the chamber. Miranda sensed as the magic signature of the Abomination spiked, then wheezed like a decompressed tire. Then it went pop.

Miranda blinked. "How. On. Earth. Did you defeat. An Abomination. WITH A BANANA?"

Jonas grinned. "What can I say? I like fruit." He turned around to examine his handiwork.

"WAIT!" Miranda said, reaching out with her magic to stop him, but it was too late.

He stared at the Abomination's body, if it could truly be called that. It was… black. It had skin that seemed to be made of screams, and teeth with eyes on them. It had images all around it of the worst nightmares imaginable.

It also had a banana rammed up it's breathing hole.

Jonas began to laugh. Banana. Up a _breathing_ hole. How ridiculous? How ridiculous was that! More so than the stupid… images… of strange horrendous occurrences. Genocide. A small kid. Himself. His world. His world exploding, dying….

He was still laughing.

Miranda groaned, putting a blindfold on Carter.

"Can you cure him?" She asked.

"I really don't know." Miranda said, setting up a mental backup spell in her own mind. She could never do such a thing to any mind other than her own (or her sister's). The variances between minds were just too much and she couldn't spend the time getting to know them.

She turned to look at the Abomination.

She could see the blank spot in her vision the spell was editing out of memories. All she got was a feeling of impending dread and lost hope. She shuddered, walking up to Jonas. "Hey…"

"IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE BANANAS ARE TERRIBLE." Jonas yelled, falling into a laughing wreck. "I mean, right. Totally wrong. Totally. AHAHAHHAHAH!"

Miranda cursed. Just. Great. She stood up, looking at the sky.

Three more empty spots in her vision were falling from the ship, and Miranda had no doubt there were more to come.

She couldn't handle too many of these things…

So she called for help. She sent a message though subspace directly to the Hoseki multiversal communications hub, which in turn sent the message to the mind of a certain red-haired woman currently residing on Diqiu…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Jinora stepped through the stargate, to her homeworld of Diqiu. She smiled. She had many memories of this place.

And then three years of nothing where Avatar Rine had wiped her memory..

But this time was still her home. Her place.

Well, sorta. She had to admit Tenzin wasn't going to go for having a teenager to deal with… She giggled at the thought.

She breathed in, feeling the air feel her lungs. It had been a while since she'd felt the air around her. She blasted off into the sky, grinning like a little girl who'd just gotten a pony. She flew towards air temple island.

She then remembered that she wasn't _quite_ able to fly easily yet… She still had to focus.

Which meant she promptly landed on a rooftop in Republic City. "Ow."

"OH HEY FUTURE JINORA!" Bo Lin said, waving. "How are things in the SGC? Good? I hope so. Pabu hopes so."

The fire ferret in question stood up on Bo Lin's shoulder and made a cute noise.

Jinora went "Aw….." for half of a second before regaining control of the little girl inside of her that had wanted out a lot lately for some reason. "I'm heading to Air Temple Island. Gotta remember that I can't fly unhindered like… like…" Jinora blinked. "Well I knew SOMEONE who could fly unhindered. I WONDER WHO." She kicked a random pot off the building. She folded her arms, trying to recompose herself.

"You okay in there?" Bo Lin asked.

"Yes. No. I don't know." She sighed. "I'm going to talk to myself."

Bo Lin blinked. "You know I wished I could talk to myself sometimes…"

Jinora stared for a moment. "Okay. Uh. You do that. I'm heading to Air Temple Island. See ya around."

"Yeah me and Pabu will just be talking. Isn't that right Pabu?"

The fire ferret just stared at him.

"Yeah I know, talking to me is like talking to a brick wall."

If Pabu had understood exactly how idiotic that statement was, he would have facepalmed.

"What do you mean lighthouses?"

Pabu _did_ facepalm at this. Or, rather, facepaw.

Meanwhile, Jinora performed a less-than-stellar landing at Air Temple Island. Tenzin and Sivam were there, discussing things.

Sivam barely paid Jinora any attention, while Tenzin couldn't rip his eyes off her. Jinora smirked, he was still baffled by her.

"Tenzin. Stop staring at your future daughter. It's impolite." Sivam muttered.

"But.. But…"

"When I wasn't cursed I was a twelve year old girl. I sliced the heads off of people who stared at me."

Tenzin shuddered. Sivam's past was something he really _really_ didn't need to know the details of. "Of course of course… Now, Korra's almost mastered sound. Amki and Mikki are doing an excellent job at training her. And that means…"

"I know what it means. As the _only_ spirit-bender in existence on this world, I'll have to teach her." Sivam folded her arms. "She better be ready for some freakin' nightmares."

Tenzin blinked. "I was going to ask you to go a bit easy on her-"

"Not happening. If she wants to get stronger I need to have my fun."

Tenzin sighed. "Fine. Just don't scar her permanently."

"I can always wipe the entire experience from her mind. You forget that I have powers from elsewhere."

"Yes we all know about Sivam: one of only three thaumaturges in existence."

"And don't you forget it." Suddenly, Sivam's eyes widened, and her illusion cloak faded for a second, revealing her four-armed, six-eyed self. She returned to semi-human quickly. "I must go." She unfurled her six blood-red magical wings, and flew into the air.

Jinora looked on in jealousy. Unhindered flight must be nice.

The young airbending master quickly entered her room. Or, rather, her younger self's room.

The younger Jinora without any arrow tattoos looked up in surprise. "Jinora!" She said, smiling.

"Hey Jinora." The master said, smiling. "How's your training going?"

"Okay I suppose." She looked out the window. "I still can't do your pink fire trick…"

The elder laughed. "You won't learn that till _after_ you get your tattoos. And even then seeing how time has changed…" Jinora frowned. "I really don't know…"

"Oh don't worry." The younger said, warmly smiling. "It's a new wonderful world to explore! Now, what did you come here for?"

"Remember what I taught you about using airbending to contact the spirit world?"

The younger nodded. "Yep! I've even gone there a few times!"

"Good. I'm going to try to use both of our natural affinities to look for Ty Lee."

"My great aunt?"

"Yes your great aunt."

"What happened to her?" She said, concerned.

The Elder sighed. "She's gone missing. And we need to find her before it becomes too late to bring her back."

"Why would it be too late?"

"She's being replaced by a Wingding… and not one of the clever nice ones, a rather crazy one."

"They're all crazy."

"True… but this one is a special kind of crazy." The airbending master sighed. "We're going to try and find Ty Lee. I have a connection to her spirit, and with our power and the natural connection to the spirit world in this universe we might be able to find her."

The younger Jinora nodded. "Of course. Let's to to the meditating place."

The two of them walked out of the room, passing by Tenzin.

It took him a few minutes to process that his daughter was friends with herself.

He felt a migraine coming on.

The two Jinoras sat across from each other, both cross legged. They focused their energy, tapping into the spirits. Their eyes opened in a world where gravity meant nothing, creatures existed without reason, and everything was bright and colorful.

Jinora frowned. Things seemed a bit more chaotic than when she tapped into the spirit world during the hundred years war. She frowned. Why did she feel like she should know about this…

She dismissed it. They had a purpose here. They were going to link to Ty Lee.

The two of them focused, the elder focusing on her memories of Ty Lee.

Suddenly, a tremendous link of spirit energy shot between the two of them, and they were flung far across the spirit world.

 _So this is what it's like leaving a planet in the spirit world_. They thought, as they saw the warped worlds fly past them, strange energies flying everywhere. They passed many denizens of the spirit world. Some young, some ancient, some interesting, and some curious. Some terrifying.

They passed a young black-haired woman who was hefting a sword.

 _That's different._ She thought.

The Jinoras shot through the spiritual planes, passing through some dark areas.

Ford climbed up, looking at the two lights in the sky. He quickly recorded his observations on the j-pad. Ordinary spirits generally couldn't go that fast unless there was a heavy spiritual element involved…

Ford absent-mindedly punched the 100% Beef demon that wouldn't leave him alone. The thing was weakened so much at this level of the Spiritual Planes that it was pathetic.

The Jinoras flew into a strange mansion-like construct, with rooms constantly moving and beasts prowling the halls. In the Spiritual Planes, the geometry made even less sense.

Then they saw her. Ty Lee. Her spirit open for the two of them to see.

It was not pink. It was a deep red, with rose streaks of excitement as the spirit swung her axe around, shocking other spirits into an ugly green color.

The two Jinora's took spiritual presence behind Ty Lee in the physical world.

What they saw terrified them. Ty Lee's clothes were tattered, barely hanging on. Her hair was frazzled, and crazy. She had all sorts of blood and other fluids stained all over her body. Her axe was sharper than should have been possible.

She slowly turned around to look at the two of them. Her pupils were tiny, her grin that of a deranged lunatic. She stared deep into them.

"Hi!" She said, smiling. "How's it been at the SGC?"

The two Jinora's were speechless. "Ty Lee…." The elder said. "What… happened to you?"

"I saw the truth. The axe. The axe was my purpose." She giggled. "I was put here to swing this thing hundreds of times! All will feel the truth of… THE AXE!" She smiled at the two spirits. "But you two are spirits already so you can just have some fun with me. Even though I wasn't the one to help you, we can still have some great times right? Wouldn't that be great?"

The two Jinoras backed away. "Um. No?"

Ty Lee's face darkened. "Is that how it's going to be? You won't accept this?" She grinned again. "Shoulda known!"

And with that, a cute ghost with a big knife appeared behind Ty Lee. "Who are these two?"

"Friends I used to know." Ty Lee said, giggling. "Unfortunately they can't understand THE AXE."

Spooky twirled her bowie knife. "I can fix that-"

Then the Jinoras sensed a presence coming. A horrible, mental presence that would mess with their mind and eat it from the inside out. The two airbenders retreated back to their bodies as fast as they could.

Ford blinked. How on earth were they going _faster_ now?

The black haired woman was spun around by the retreating spirits.

 _What had them in such a hurry?_

The two of them returned to their bodies, breathing heavily.

They quickly embraced, holding each other tight.

Neither of them said a word.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Abomination tossed Miranda across the street, into a nearby statue.

"GAH! I really hate not being able to see any of your WEAK POINTS!" Miranda generated several magic missiles, aiming at random locations on the Abomination's body. Or where her mind-erasing spell _thought_ the body was. It was really, really difficult to tell.

Two more abominations walked up to her, tossing her further.

She changed her color to pink, firing intense jets of superheated plasma at the Abominations.

There were just too many of them. She was running out of power…

Inside the building, Carter was sitting in the corner, blindfolded. She could hear the noises of horror padding around, growling, or hissing, or making noises she had no description for.

Then she heard the unique sound of Kull Warriors marching. Then the sound of a laser cutter.

She tensed. They were taking the N-Crystal weren't they?

Just. Crap. That wasn't good. The last thing they needed was Anubis getting even _stronger._

She listened as the Kull Warriors marched away, but the Abominations remained. Making thier horrendous noises.

Meanwhile Miranda was losing. She had suffered several gashes on her arms and she was barely able to continue standing. Her high mage dress was, of course, in tatters.

She was breathing heavy. Yet another day where she almost used up all her magic reserves. This was ridiculous. This was-

Then she sensed the stargate opening.

Well, she didn't' actually sense the stargate itself open. It was just the only explanation for a magical source of such magnitude to suddenly appear. She whirled around to see a six-winged blood red blur impact an Abomination, vaporizing it from existence.

Sivam stood tall, her demonic appearance taking over. That six-eyed smooth face looked impassively at the Abominations. Each of the four arms readied a truly tremendous sword, and sliced four Abominations in half simultaneously.

She raised her hand, tearing the spiritual agony out of two more Abominations. This left nothing but a dead husk which quickly crumbled to dust.

She swept a large red laser across the area, vaporizing more Abomnations.

She nodded to Miranda.

"Thanks." Miranda said, breathing heavy.

Sivam simply nodded, before flying off to other corners of the planet to deal with the remaining Abominations.

Miranda shook her head. Sivam truly was a piece of work.

The Red Thaumaturge. She had truly come quite a ways from her time as The Black Thaumaturge.

Miranda still got nightmares from that younger version of Sivam.

The gari shook her head, and walked to Carter, untying the blindfold. "Taken care of."

Carter pointed at the exposed vein.

A tremendous chunk of the N-crystal had been taken.

Miranda shrugged. "We still have plenty-"

Then a focused laser shot from orbit, penetrating the crust, and impacting the crystal.

Miranda barely had time to raise a shield before the energy was released.

Across the world of Langara, seven different locations erupted in what amounted to a nuclear detonation, coating the areas in absurd amounts of radiation and launching ashes into the air.

The world of Langara burned. Sure, it didn't explode in half like it would have if the naquadria was shot, but that was little comfort to the young world.

Langara burned.

Miranda held Carter as they flew through the sky, the shield encasing them.

The shield began to flicker.

"That's bad... " Miranda managed to say before passing out.

Carter panicked, realizing that they were about to impact the ground at several hundred miles an hour. Instant death.

But Sivam caught them, her red wings flapping in the wind.

"That B******" Sivam said, glaring up at the sky as the ships left.

She set Miranda and Carter down on the ground, and healed the two of them. "You'll be fine."

Carter yelped. "WHERE'S JONAS?"

Sivam blinked. "Who?"

Miranda sat up. "OH no. nononononono. I can't have forgotten him. I can't have."

Just seconds ago, the crazed and mind-dead Jonas Quinn stared at the N-crystals from a few feet away.

So… funny. Black. Eccentric. He should already be dead but no, and that was amusing.

He grabbed a watermelon and attempted to eat it.

Then the laser shot down from above, vaporizing him instantly, the taste of watermelon still in his mouth.

And that was the end of Jonas Quinn, once a legend, a member of SG-1.

He would go on to become a hero for his planet, his people, and the galaxy.

He would be in their memories together, everyone remembering how he died saving the planet from complete destruction.

Many legends would be told of him, the one who defeated an Abomination with a banana. The one who learned everything known. The man who saw the galaxy.

The man who wanted nothing more than peace.

Later that day, the Hebrideans would arrive to offer relief efforts to the Langarans. They were far more suited to it than the humans of Earth, seeing as the Hebridans actually had several dozen planets, unlike every other member of the alliance within the Milky Way galaxy. They had resources and economy to spare.

They extended an offer to the Langarans to become part of the Hebridan Commerce, which would allow for a merging of governments and easier access to rebuilding.

In memory of Jonas Quinn and their recent devastation, all three nations agreed within twelve hours.

The division of the Langaran people would continue for a while, but this day was remembered as the day the people of Langara united together, forevermore.

The Abominations were quickly hunted down by Sivam within an hour.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Anubis held the amazing crystal in his hands.

Absolutely stunning. It was giving off so much power and it was _stable._

He clutched the gem harder.

Power.

So much power.

"Anubis…"

"Yes Tirek?"

"We must move… The Hoseki have been making moves on our outer worlds. We haven't been able to destroy many of their ships…"

"I know that Tirek. But we have no way to go on the offensive. We know they've somehow moved their system into Hyperspace, and we have no way of figuring out _where_ in hyperspace they are. And their system is presumably well guarded."

"It will not be too hard to extract the information from one of their weaker ones minds…"

Anubis was losing patience. "I already tried that _centaur._ The citizens I have managed to probe have no idea, and the higher ups have mind protection…" He punched a wall. "They don't want anyone to know where they are."

Tirek suddenly had an idea. "They will no doubt take some of this crystal with them, correct?"

Anubis slowly turned. "Of course. And the signal these give off… Is impossible for me to miss…" He set the crystal down. "We will prepare. Build more ships. If we are to make this work, we will need a tremendous army."

"Already in the making…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Chirssa, Deadpool, Patema, and Wendy were having fun playing more "DEADPOOL THROWS STUFF."

Jinora just sat, observing from a distance, her mind elsewhere.

Ty Lee wasn't coming back.

She didn't know what was going on with her, but she wasn't coming back.

And she couldn't find any way whatsoever to blame this on Chirssa.

She clutched her fist.

Whoever did that to Ty Lee was going to pay.

Jinora looked up at Chirssa, giggling like a little girl, then giggling like a little boy.

Jinora frowned.

Childish.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

UHPQDQW ZLOO IDOO

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: WHAAAAT? JINORA JEALOUS? WHAAAAAT? RETURN OF FORD? WHAAAAT? SPIRIT WORLD? WHAAAAT? SPOOKY? WE'RE NOT FORESHADOWING ANYTHING ARE WE? HWAAAAA?**

 **FB: WHAAAAA? stuff happened. Pay attention.**

 **TD: if you couldn't tell- i haven't actually read this chapter. byea. *walks away awkwardly***


	25. January 24: Fear

**AN:**

 **FB: very short… Like eight pages… O.O**

 **GM: okay I don't really like this chapter. I just don't feel like I made it interesting. There's a reason it's short. Just… ah well at least it shows off Lyre. But we kinda had to show Olivia's emotional state and this was how we ended up deciding to do it… Man I would rather be doing many other Fringe episodes.**

 **I guess we're all kinda busy working in our minds on the four part finale.**

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Tuesday, January 24: Fear

"What's the story on this one?" Scully said, looking at the man lying on the hospital bed.

Olivia pursed her lips, fiddling a business card she had just gotten from the taxicab driver. "Greg Lieter, normal boring cardboard cutout office worker went berzerk yesterday, and killed his boss in a fit of crazy rage before falling unconscious and remaining unconscious for sixteen hours."

Walter shivers. "Unnerving."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Looks like he's waking up."

"Amazing timing." Scully observed, not even surprised at convenient timing anymore.

The two women walked into the room, observing the restrained man in front of them.

"Um… why exactly am I restrained?" Greg asked, looking very disoriented.

Scully frowned. Either he was playing the "I remember nothing" card or this was going to be pointless.

"You went crazy." Olivia offered. "Beat your boss senseless."

Greg shook his head. "No. I don't remember that…" He focused. "But I do remember that the office was filled with… creatures… and that there was some kind of demon I had to defend myself from." He laughed. "I must be crazy."

Scully and Olivia raised eyebrows. _Not necessarily…_

"It's almost as if I was dreaming." He sighed. "That's all I can remember." He turned to his only other visitor, his wife, smiling a sad smile. "Guess I finally lost it huh?"

"Greg…"

Greg convulsed, his entire body racking the bed. The doctor and Walter ran in, attempting to see what was wrong. Greg took in a deep sharp breath, his hair turning white before everyone's eyes. Then he fell down, dead.

There was silence.

"I'll need to examine his body." Walter commented, clapping his hands. "We just got an unexplained death!"

Scully and Olivia sighed. Did he really have to sound so _gleeful_ about it?

"Let's see…" Walter poked the body a bit, grabbing a few needles and instruments for measurement as well. "Dehydrated… severe thyroxine deficit… and high adrenal hormone levels… and…" Walter examined the readings for a few more moments, sneezed, and poked the man's skull. "Cause of death… acute exhaustion. Most intriguing." He checked his watch. "Yes! New record! Quickest posthumous examination ever!" He whirled around, grinning. "Take him to my lab so I can use the special tools on him!"

"The bone saw?" Scully asked.

"Why yes of course what else could I have meant?"  
"The lase-"

"I have more than one special tool, miss Scully." Walter clapped his hands. "Shall we continue?"

As they left, Olivia picked up a business card from the hospital.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder adjusted his coat. It was cold today.

He walked up to the address Scully had given him. He was going to be the one to question Greg's wife, apparently.

He honestly thought his skills were better suited in physically investigating the strange way in which the man died, but hey, interviews always had to be done by someone.

He knocked on the door, flashing his badge as the woman, Jill if he recalled correctly, answered the door. "Oh. You're here to…"

"Yes… Just answer my questions and I'll be out of your hair." In all actuality, Mulder expected to return here several times, since most cases involved a lot of backtracking. He walked into the room, examining everything closely.

The general questions were asked. Had Greg been acting weird? Not really, missed a few phone calls and seemed a bit tired. What was his relationship with his boss? Not excellent, but not murderous. Did she see him at work? No, not really, and he had been working more than normal. Did he go on rampages ever? No, never. It was way out of left field.

Mulder frowned. This wasn't useful. He stood up, looking around with a close eye.

He noticed a few books in a shelf about sleep disorders. "Did Greg suffer from any sleep issues?"

"He used to sleep-walk, but that was treated and he hasn't had an episode in six months. And he wasn't asleep when he went crazy, after all." She reached into a bookshelf and pulled out a leather-bound notebook. "He kept a dream journal, if that's any help."

Mulder picked up the book and flipped through it. There were nightmares, happy dreams, and some stuff he honestly felt embarrassed reading about. He closed the book. "May I use this in the investigation? I'll return it to you once we're done."

"Of course." Jill said, nodding.

Mulder began to walk out. "I'll tell you if we find anything." He said, going against his better judgement and reading the journal some more.

The rather disturbing psyche of a boring office worker was… interesting to say the least.

He had a strange fascination with pie…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

...Lampkin ate a slice of pie as the Cardassian standing in front of him gave his little speech. They were inside Deep Space Nine, sitting at a table within Garek's shop. Once again, a tailor.

It was amazing how few people remembered who he was.

"...and people like them would have a very _specific_ goal in mind..."

Lampkin raised an eyebrow. "Really? Do tell."

Garek smiled, pretending like he was making a new Presidential Cloak for Lampkin. "They are a group that is mostly religious in nature, serving their nameless God. Though unlike the God of the humans, this God is a vengeful beast obsessed with purity of humanity…"

"Yes we know this…"

"And they are planning an insurrection to purify themselves completely. What they don't realize is that the natural foregone conclusion of their actions is self-defeating. They will become a savage group, eventually focusing their hatred on themselves. And what a hatred it is…"

"Surely unnatural."

"Almost assuredly. Then again, in this new day and age, what isn't unnatural? The Force… Magic…" Garek turned to look deep into Lampkin's eyes. "Gods…"

Lampkin raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"They serve their God, who is most assuredly an actual being of some kind. The influence is too strong, too guided to be simply dismissed. They are serving _something._ Their minds strive to fulfill one goal.."

"What is it?" Lampkin asked.

"Desolation." Garek said, momentarily stopping his "work." "Xenophobia is just the preparation for something greater. More sinister. Anger like that won't simply stop, it must continue."

Lampkin finished his pie, sitting back into a thoughtful position. "What do you suppose this "God" is?"

Garek simply smiled, knowingly. "How would I know? I'm just a simple tailor." He turned his back to Lampkin. "But given what we _do_ know. If I was you…" He turned around, all jovial features on his face glaring deep into Lampkin's soul. "I would be very, very afraid. And I would take the threat very, very seriously."

A grin appeared on Garek's face. "Now, here's your order!" He said, giving the President a cloak that he had finished days ago.

Lampkin took the cloak, nodding. "It has been an interesting morning, mister Garek."

"I try my best to make life more interesting." Garek said, smirking. "Now on your way."

Lampkin turned to leave.

"Oh, and if you don't mind, put that hat back unless you plan on paying for it."

Lampkin's eyes widened as he removed a hat from his cloak, setting it back on the shelf. He quickly left the little tailor shop.

Garek was a little too smart for Lampkin's liking.

The Cardassian smiled as the President left, which was quickly replaced by a frown.

He had to get back to "work."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Come, Peter, let us investigate a body!"

"Walter…"

"Mister Leiter here must be examined!" Walter took out a laser cutter.

"WOAH! woah! _woah!"_ Peter said, grabbing Walter's wrist. "Can we just not… cut him open?"

"Hrm?" Walter said, blinking. "Whatever do you mean?"

"We can examine him and discover any oddities by _first_ examining the _outside!"_

"Oh right. Mustn't forget important parts of the process."

Lyre's voice sighed from a nearby speaker. "Oh. Good. Gravy. You two. The crazy and the sane. This is so stereotypical."

"What?"

"STEREOTYPICAL!" Lyre said, before playing the sound effect of a stereo and a harp tone.

Peter groaned. "Lyre, can you _not_ play comedic sound effects and see if you can do any research into Leiter?"

"Done aaaaand done already. I know Leiter inside and out. I know what he ate for breakfast yesterday (turkey breakfast burrito) and when he brushes his teeth (7:23 on the dot daily) and how the cardboard office worker liked his staples (at a precise 45° angle, though anything from 42 to 48 was acceptable)."

Peter blinked. "Well… that's certainly thorough."

"I've got all the information. I just don't know what's important and what's not. Your job, bearded one, is to tell me what parts to scrutinize."

"Yeah Lyre we get it…" Peter muttered.

"EUREKA!" Walter yelled, examining the body's neck.

"What is it?"

"I have discovered surgical scars!" Walter said, shoving Peter's face a few inches closer to the body than he would have liked. "See the scarring on the back of the neck? Something was inserted through here…"

Walter produced a very _very_ tiny pair of scissors. "Laser-guided scissors, don't fail me now…" And with that, the old man went to work on the neck.

"Can I remove my face from the proximity of the body now, Walter?"

"Of course of course…" Walter said, involved in his work.

Mulder walked in, holding the dream journal, apparently absorbed in the tales of a man's subconscious.

"Anything interesting?" Peter asked the agent.

Mulder nodded. "Lieter had been having nightmares about demons for a long time. Then, exactly six months ago, they just stopped. Everything. The journal is largely empty after that. Though of course there are the day-to-day musings of a secluded office worker…"

"Nightmares…" Peter said, scratching his beard. He hadn't really had any nightmares throughout his entire childhood. They were still rare occurrences, though he suspected most of them were caused by weird stuff he got involved with since he moved to Fringe. (Or Fringe-X?)

He took the book from Mulder and began to flip through it. Images of gnarled beings, horned monstrosities, and descriptions of the most gruesome kind greeted him. Then they quickly stopped, revealing the psyche of a normal man. (even if that normal psyche was a bit of an uncomfortable read.)

Peter pondered this.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"What's the story on this one?" Olivia said.

"Woman deliberately rammed her car into a man on a motorcycle." Scully responded, investigating the body. "Cyclist died upon impact. However… the woman died minutes later with her hair going white and seemingly dying of exhaustion…"

Olivia checked the body. Sure enough, the hair was blanched. "And now we have two murders."

"It's almost always that way isn't it?" Scully said, frowning. "Why can't we just have a case where the enemy isn't a serial killer? Why does everything have to kill multiple people? Why is everything so… deadly?"

"It's worse in Australia, from what I hear."

Scully let a smile form on her face. "Of course…" Scully stood up, observing the rest of the scene. The wreck had been largely cleaned up at this point, she was just standing next to the ambulance on the median. Cars sped by, doing their best not to give attention to the death sitting on the road next to them. A piece of the motorcycle was still in the road, reflecting lights into Scully's face.

A man walked up to them. "I… I'm sorry." He said, walking up to the woman. "I was on the phone with her.. Just an hour ago…"

"Oh? What was going on?"

"She was screaming something about a monster…"

Olivia nodded. "Of course. The cases are linked."

The two women ignored the man's bewildered look. They simply nodded to each other knowingly. Olivia's phone rang.

"Hey Olivia?" Peter said, using the Walter-is-being-crazy-and-I-need-to-tread-carefully voice. "We discovered a computer chip embedded in Lieter's brain stem."

"Oh?" Olivia said, stooping down to look at a the white-haired body. Sure enough, there was a surgical mark on the back of her neck. "The new body has a surgical mark…"

"Of course. The chip itself is an electronic device used to regulate sleep. So…"

Olivia stared at the white hair. "It helps them sleep, but gives them waking nightmares."

Scully shuddered as Olivia said this. Living nightmares.

 _Normal people shouldn't have to experience our lives…_

"So our next step…"

"...is to find out where the chips are made!" Lyre's voice yelled. "No fear, investigative ones, I shall find out!"

"How?" Olivia questioned.

"By visiting a friend of yours…"

"You can't physically go anywhere."

"Ah blonde psychic, I don't have to physically be there…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Olivia's phone rang. It was Sam Weiss.

"Um… Hello Sam-"

"Have you been getting the business cards?"

Olivia frowned slightly. "Of course…"

"Good. Now circle the a letter in every name on every business card, both first and last names."

Olivia blinked. "Why?"

"Just do it. This is part of therapy."

 _Charlie…_ Olivia nodded. "Okay." She circled the letters.

"Now arrange those letters in a line."

N.

"Okay…" Olivia said, looking at the nonsense.

"Now. Look into that string of letters and find a message."

Olivia blinked. "It's nonsense-"

"You think that now." Sam said. "But later, you will find a message in it. Just the one you need to hear."

"It's a piece of paper Sam…"

"It is what you make of it." Sam said before hanging up.

Olivia sighed, slumping. Sam was supposed to be helping her. While she had been giving him the benefit of the doubt (he had helped her get over her injury) but how could a random string of letters help her in any way?

She had just shot a lookalike of her best friend!

She had been living with a lookalike of her best friend for weeks!

Her best friend was DEAD!

How could a message she found in a string of letters help her at all?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In Massive Dynamic, Nina sharp sat at her desk, looking at her computer. Checking messages. Looking through basic reports.

A message overtook her screen:

 _WHAT IS THE LN 24 CHIP?_

Nina blinked. Who was-

 _HERE'S A CAT GIF AS A GIFT._

Nina sighed as the second message came up. This AI. While obviously an amazing feat of engineering, it had quite the personality subroutine. She had spent hours wondering where on earth the Fringe (Fringe-X?) team had gotten it. It was far more advanced than anything she'd ever seen.

She quickly typed back.

 _Before we do any business I must know what to call you._

 _YOU MAY CALL ME Y._

 _I suppose you think that's funny?_

 _IT IS, MASSIVE RED ONE. NOW WHAT IS THE LN 24 CHIP?_

Nina sighed at the "massive red one" remark. She quickly brought up the file on the LN 24 chip (on her protected computer, the one she believed "Y" couldn't access.)

 _I'M BORED AND WAITING._

 _Be patient. The LN 24 Chip is a chip developed by independent researcher Doctor Laxmeesh Nayak. We've been tracking him for years, trying to recruit him, but he never accepts. The chip's purpose is a BCI (Bio-Chip Interface) that generates a wireless transmission, connecting the brain of the user to a remote computer. In the case of LN 24 this computer is used to monitor sleep and induce deeper sleep states when needed._

 _THANK YOU. I SHALL NOW LEAVE YOU TO WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING, REDHEADED CAPITAN._

Nina sighed, wondering what the heck they should do to deal with this AI. The retaliatory virus had only stopped it momentarily, and she was positive the blackout from a few days ago was due to another attack on it. The advanced firewalls were keeping it out, but she knew if it decided to go at them for a few weeks they would fall.

They needed to make new ones…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

N.

YOURE GONNA BE FINE.

Olivia stared at what she had written down in utter disbelief.

How…?

How had she…?

She must have something going for her if she could find that in there.

But… Fine? Really? _Fine?_

 _How could she be fine?_

She looked around the lab. Walter and Astrid were having their usual banter, with Peter trying very hard not to get involved. Mulder and Scully were having their own playful flirting-ribbing banter. Lyre's voice kept yelling at all of them to eat more pie (or something like that.)

Olivia smiled.

She had friends.

She really _was_ going to be fine.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Night was falling.

And Lyre was giddy.

He had found the patients with the chips in their minds. All he did was send out a basic signal until the already existing chips reacted, and then send out a ping to locate the other chips. He sent part of himself into the minds, waiting for any sign of outside chip activation.

He discovered it in the mind of an aircraft pilot.

Ho boy. That boded well.

Lyre entered the mind of the pilot, watching as the world slowly distorted from a casual day flying an airplane to a horrid nightmare. The co-pilot's face seemed to melt away into a blank, soulless shape. The pilot began to panic, and the plane took a nosedive, pointing directly at an ocean liner.

Lyre quickly traced the signal, finding the "dream computer" and discovered another man hooked up to it. Doctor Nayak. Lyre entered his mind, discovering a world of bliss. Rainbows everywhere, a rush of hormones, and powerful urges.

 _This man is sucking the dreams off of people…_ Lyre realized.

Lyre quickly hacked into the "dream computer" and reversed the settings. He re-entered Nayak's mind, which was now a very different place. Horror was everywhere. The mind seemed to be breaking all around him. Lyre got out of there quickly.

Within five minutes Nayak's hair had turned white, his own invention turning against him.

Lyre sent the report to Fringe within five seconds.

And with that, the case was wrapped.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

CCCCCCCCCCCCC

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: I just… didn't enjoy writing this one. I wasn't into it. So. Uh. Yeah. Luckily enough it wasn't THAT important to plot. (except the part with Garek, which I literally just added in because I needed something interesting to write.)**

 **I apologize for this short chapter. ^^" Also I apologize for not including the explanation or investigation sections of this that were in the Fringe episode. Yeah. ^^"**

 **Rewriting episodes can be annoying. This is an example of it going… eh. (now Fallout was an example of it going pretty well, as was Evolution.)**

 **BUT to make up for it, next episode will be: REMNANT.**

 **Featuring the RETURN OF SPOOKY! :D**

 ***SPOOKY METEOR IMPACT***


	26. January 25: Remnant

Wednesday January 25: Remnant

 **AN:**

 **FB: WOOHOO! Wednesday, not the day everything goes wrong… That should have been Monday.**

 **GM: Here it is. The moment you've been waiting for: The return of Spooky.**

 **Be warned, this is a very dark chapter.**

The triangular portal lit up in a flash of light. Energy flowed between the columns as the energy tunneled through dimensions, creating a link to a point in space far, far beyond their own world. What laid before them was a dark forest, filled with vines and a dark mist. On the horizon a city could be seen, a city that was absolutely tremendous.

Spooky, the cutest supernatural military commander, clenched her fist. She held her other hand up high, her knife glinting in the sunlight the portal was letting through.

She turned around. "At long last… A place to invade!" She grinned, her eyes turning red. "At long last, we can conquer. We can crush. We can kill. We can destroy!"

The hundreds of spirits cheered.

Spooky grinned. "Led by me and my specimens, we shall collect _MORE_ spirits! Spirits numbering in the thousands! Until there are none who can stand in our way! We will eventually conquer Earth! But first… let us test our skills on this world."

Spooky grinned. "This world will have no clue what hit it…"

As the spirits cheered, Ty Lee hefted her axe. _Finally. Some action._

In the background, Sisko and Ba'al were cheering along with the other spirits, ready to tear the enemy limb from limb.

The specimens rallied, ready to destroy this world.

Spooky pointed her knife at the unsuspecting world, and the spirits flooded out in full force… A tidal wave upon an unsuspecting world…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ruby Rose was giddy with excitement.

Here she was. Being accepted into Beacon academy _years_ in advance! Who did that? Nobody! It was so exciting!

She squealed.

Her sister, Yang, laughed. "Oh come on. Can you at least _try_ not to be so squealy?"

"NOPE!" The blackish-red haired girl said. "I'm going to enjoy this as much as I can. I'M GOING TO BECOME A HUNTER!"

"Yeah yeah…" Yang said, grinning. "And together we will rid the world of horrid Grimm and protect the four kingdoms. That's kinda how it works." She flexed her wrists. "I can't wait to punch some black creatures in the face." She whooped.

"And _I'm_ the one being squealy." Ruby laughed.

The airship landed, letting all the students off. Ruby bounced up and down. "HELLO BEACON ACADEMY! I AM RUBY ROSE! And I am here to learn!" She whooped, taking out her Crescent Rose and whapping it into the ground. The red and black mechanical scythe weapon intimidated several nearby students. Yang just laughed.

"OO LOOK AT THAT!" Ruby said, running towards the academy. Yang just shrugged, following.

No one paid any attention to the darkness collecting on the horizon...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Grimm were horrid, soulless beasts, forged out of shadow and hatred. They were strong, vicious, and sometimes even intelligent. The beings of shadow had plagued humanity on this world since the start, never ceasing, never ending. Always killing.

Some plotted, spending eons waiting for the right moment or spinning advanced plans. Others were vicious with no thought process whatsoever other than _KILL KILL KILL._

Against these beings of darkness that prevailed across the lands of Remnant, the horde of spirits attacked with full force.

The attack began with Spooky cutting her knife right into a Grimm, spurting blood out that the beast didn't even have, along with a large quantity of fine black mist. Spooky grinned. "Resistance. How fun."

The hundreds of normal spirits flooded out next, pushing the smaller Grimm back quickly. The spirits found out quickly that despite their ghostly form, the Grimm could still harm them. The dark monsters were beings made party of magic, and hitting spirits was only slightly harder than hitting normal being. They forced the spirits back.

Then Specimen 9, the Skull, came flying out of the portal, crashing right through all the beings, attaching bits of their bodies to iTAKEN TO TAKEN TO TAKEN. Spooky grinned as the Skull did what it did best: Not die while killing other things.

Specimen 2 and 3 worked in a tag team, slowing Grimm down and then burrowing into them.

The various Specimen 1s had spread out into the forest, and were popping out at whatever angles they could to drive the Grimm away in fear.

The weak were whittled out quickly. Ringu, Specimen 4, was eating them bit by bit. The mannequin, number 5, was just cutting them in half. Specimen 6 apparead, killing whenever no-one saw him (which was rather difficult, but it was still effective.)

Specimen 12, the house itself, began it's job of spreading to every dimension everywhere, causing walls to rise up out of the ground and rooms to fall into place around the portal exit. Another House of Jumpscares was created, dimensionally linking to the other one.

Then the big guns game out. Specimen 10, the parasite, began to infect the Grimm. Despite their magical nature, the infestation still took hold. It would only be a matter of hours until a new race of alien parasites infested the planet. Specimen 8, the Beast, came out, reaching to the violent minds of the Grimm. " **JOIN US!"** He said, not even really having to try. Only the intelligent Grimm managed to avoid his influence.

And then Specimen 7 flew out. Nobody saw it. Specimen 7 had no physical form. It was a purely mental construct. It didn't take long for many Grimm's heads to just explode.

Despite getting trounced easily, the Grimm still had one advantage: there were millions of them spread across the planet, and they were well versed in fighting. The more intelligent and ancient ones took control, organizing those of weak will. They fought back, gigantic birds known as Nevermores attacking from the skies, impressive snakes called Taijitus encircling many spirits simultaneously, and big and ugly Ursas plowing through ranks. But these fell easily.

Spooky turned her attention to the new Specimen 14. Ty Lee slashed her ax out, smacking the shelled head of a Grimm Beowolf, shattering it instantly. Ty Lee giggled. _Killing things is fun. More fun than I've ever had before. I'll have to thank Spooky for letting me go on a rampage._ She thought, smashing the stinger of a Death Stalker, a giant scorpion-like Grimm. It took many shots with her ax, but it went down eventually. Ty Lee's eye twitched. _Death. Doom. Destruction. All done by me… woohoo!_ She smiled, spinning her ax and smacking all the Beowolfs that were coming at her. _These things are easy. Time for something harder._ Her eyes glinted as she saw a Taijitu. _Two headed snake, not that easy of a victim… How wonderful!_ She clapped her hands in delight and started running to the Taijitu, bringing her ax down on the white head. It roared in pain, preparing to fight back, but Ty Lee axed the second head as it came toward her. After repeating that multiple times, the Taijitu finally flopped on the ground, dead. _Hurray! DEATH! I love it!_

Spooky watched as Ty Lee axed everything in her path.

"What a perfect addition, Specimen 14. Your death count is much more than I expected." Spooky smiled in satisfaction. Her army was winning. _No surprises there._ Spooky pondered which Grimm to attack next, while watching her army decimate every living Grimm within the area.

Ba'al was sitting in a group of other spirits, doing his best to _not_ get involved in the fighting, and simply staying in clusters of other spirits, in the center, so he wouldn't be destroyed.

He was constantly looking for a way out of his little… predicament. He really _really_ didn't like sucking up to the cute ghost day in and day out, but it was required if he wanted to keep his life and his sanity…

All he needed was a way to contact his people...

His thoughts were cut short when the first real threat appeared in front of them. A Goliath.

A Grimm twenty stories high.

Ty Lee grinned. This thing was going to go down. She hefted her axe and brought it down on the thing's foot, only providing it minor irritation.

The hundreds of minor spirits attacked the Goliath en masse, only annoying it. The massive Grimm sliced it's tusks through them, killing a dozen. (Or extinguishing them, seeing as they were already dead…) The Skull and the Best performed a coordinated attack, destroying the beast's tusks, falling towardsTAKENTAKENTAKENull flew right through the Goliath, boring a large hole. The Goliath began to teeter, and eventually toppled over, where the Grimm in the control of the Beast finished it off.

As it died, it let out an extreme moan of pain that could be heard across the planet, resonating within the minds of millions of Grimm worldwide.

It told those Grimm one thing.

 _Run._

 _[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]_

Ozpin, a grey haired older man, frowned, looking out from atop Beacon academy.

"That sound… that was the sound of a Goliath dying." He said. "Dying a violent death." He turned to Glynda, his best huntress. "I haven't heard that sound in decades."

"Most people haven't at all." Glynda observed. "Goliath's rarely die. They leave us alone, and we leave them alone."

Ozpin frowned. "The death calls of a Goliath mean only one thing to the other Grimm: to run. And run far away."

Glynda looked at the man in charge of the entire academy. She saw him look… worried?

"What's wrong with them running?"

"Think about it Glynda. If you are crazy and running in a panic, you are less likely to think."

"Yes… And?"

"And I guarantee you that noise was close. Close enough to send every Grimm anywhere closeby running _right at us."_

Glynda's eyes widened. "I'll go raise the alarm…" She said, running out.

"Ah…" Ozpin said, frowning even deeper. "That may help us stop the Grimm themselves. But what are they running _from?_ "

Glynda really didn't want to think about that question.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

THUNK!

The sound of a very big Grimm hitting the wall. The wall stood firm.

Several more thunks intercepted the wall with increasing frequency. The many hunters and students standing on the other side of the wall hears the sounds of panic, of fear. Desolate roars and cries for help were heard.

Ruby didn't know why, but she felt sad for the Grimm. Something was killing them off. Hunters only attacked Grimm for humankind's safety. Whatever was doing this was just slaughtering them, bit by bit.

A few of the flying Grimm flew over the wall, into the kingdom. Hunters quickly shot them down with a large quantity of weapons and powers and even mechs. There were a few casualties from them, but the flying Grimm seemed more interested in flying _over_ the kingdom than _through_ it…

Then they heard the moaning. The screaming. The angry charge of hundreds of tormented souls, all united in one cause: to conquer.

Ruby backed away from the Wall. She winced as the dying wails of hundreds of Grimm could be heard from the walls, alongside more… disturbing noises.

Images flashed across her mind of intense pain. She quickly shook her head, tearing those thoughts away. She needed to remain strong.

Then the spirits came, floating right _through the wall._ Many looked like normal humans, floating in the air, murderous looks on their faces. Others looked… disfigured. Mutilated. Monstrous.

Leading them all was a cute ghost with an oversized knife. She chopped the heads off of several people.

Ruby backed away. What _was_ this? What was-

Then something blew a hole right through the wall. It was a reddish clay skull, flying around left and right, charging right at Yang aTAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD Ruby ran. Ruby _ran._

She couldn't have just seen that. It wasn't true. That skull creature was just playing tricks on her. Yang didn't just get her eyes poked out by a puppet…

...then why did she have Yang's weapons on her hands? She would only be given those in the most dire of circumstances…

...Oh no…

Ruby ran. Far away from the carnage opening up behind her.

Several spirits stood in her way. Ruby stopped running in fear, thinking all hope was lost. She looked at the Ember Celica on her wrists, the weapons of her sister. She clenched her hands into fists.

She was filled with Determination.

"I am not going to just stand here and take it." She said, turning to the ghosts. "I am going to take you down. FOR YANG!" She drew her gigantic scythe, while simultaneously activating Yang's weapon.

Using two weapons at once. Usually not the best strategy. Unless you can use one in each hand…

Which Ruby did. One hand fired bullets and punches, while the other wielded a scythe, slicing at all the ghosts. Since both weapons were infused with dust, the ghosts were hit, damaged, torn at, destroyed.

Ruby flew into a rage, cutting into ghost after ghost, monster after monster, alien parasite Grimm after alien parasite Grimm. She punched, blasted, and sliced her way through hordes as people fell to the ground around her by the dozen.

She streaked through the crowd, leaving a bright red trail of carnage in her wake.

The red girl with the yellow fists gave the people hope, and they shook out of their fear, beginning to fight back with new force.

Meanwhile, one ghost in particular had made his way to the center of Beacon academy by stealth. Sitting in front of a technological marvel was Ozwin.

"What do you want?" Ozwin asked, ready to defend his academy.

Ba'al frowned. "Believe it or not I'm actually against this little army. I'm here to see if I can call for assistance." Sometimes a truth (but of course not the whole truth) was the best way to go.

Ozwin frowned. "Who will you call?"

"My people." Ba'al said. "I was taken from them by these… spirit harvesters."

Ozwin nodded. "Absolutely diabolical." He looked down at the kingdom below, slowly being destroyed by the spirits. "Would they help us?"

"They would definitely retaliate against the spirits for capturing me." Ba'al said, continuing with partial honesty.

Ozin sighed. "Fine. Use the beacon however you wish."

Ba'al quickly typed a message into the beacon, sending out a pulse of light. He frowned. "Great. This isn't a good system…" He muttered, fiddling with some pieces. "If I reroute these wires... I need more power…"

Ozwin simply launched his weapon into the power socket, increasing the power a hundredfold. "Is that enough?"

Ba'al stared in disbelief. "...More than enough…"

"Good. Because I doubt my power will be enough to stop the invasion on its own… This is a much better use of it."

Ba'al nodded, rerouting the wires to send the signal into subspace.

He completed the connection, causing the beacon to explode. Ozwin fell back, coughing. "Did it work?"

"I really hope so…" Ba'al said. "Now if you excuse me I have to get back to pretending like I'm on their side."

"Of course." Ozwin said. "Although…"

Ba'al turned around to see three spirits staring at him in hatred. "Traitor."

Ba'al grinned. "Did you really think I was loyal?"

"How could you have resisted the conditioning?"

"I didn't." Ba'al laughed. "I separated my mind from the body. Mindless though they are, clones _do_ have an empty mental state I can put in front of my own. You conditioned a mindless clone."

"You will pay."

"Um… no. BYE!" Ba'al said, diving through the floor.

And now he only had to hope he didn't run into any of the specimens…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][[][][]

Ty Lee hacked off arms, heads, legs, and sliced weapons in half.

She was surprised that she actually had to use her power blocking skills on a few of the people in her way. Some had impressive amounts of power within them. But she quickly disabled any… annoying powers. And any of the really evasive people she left for Specimen 7 to deal with.

She cut through hordes of people, sending their blood flying everywhere. Her vision became red, and any strategy to her movements vanished.

She simply went ballistic, kicking, punching, slicing, and even biting with extreme agility. None could stand in her way.

Occasionally a magic blast would hit her down, but her connection to Spooky would always eventually heal her back to normal. All specimens shared a very special connection to their leader.

Ty Lee grinned, smashing the skull of another hapless human open before ripping off their limbs and sending them as projectiles to other enemies.

This. Was. So. Much. FUN.

Spooky looked on from above, proud. Her army, destroying people by the hundreds. Creating new spirits to strengthen the cause. Sure, they would need some conditioning, but Specimen 7 could cook up some temporary brainwashing within a few seconds easily enough. Their numbers were ever increasing, destroying the pathetic living ones in a matter of seconds.

It was a shame the Grimm didn't have souls, they would have made great soldiers. The infected and controlled ones, however, were doing their jobs well enough.

She laughed. She couldn't _wait_ until she did this to Earth...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ruby was running down a hallway, chasing after a spirit. She wasn't entirely sure why she was fixated on this particular one, and frankly, she didn't care. It would die. She brought down the Crescent Rose in a dramatic arc, narrowly missing the spirit. The ghost, a girl, turned around, reaching into Ruby's heart, causing a harrowing cold to enter Ruby. Ruby pulled back, energy sapped. "Wha… what did…"

"YOU ARE MINE NOW!" The girl said, reaching forth.

"NO!" Ruby said, swinging back. "You killed everyone! You killed my sister! YOU WILL-"

Then another ghost appeared, punching the other one into the floor. Captain Benjamin Sisko sighed. "I.. I… I'm sorry…"

Ruby blinked. "For what?"

"I… couldn't stop them… I… killed some of them..."

Ruby glared. "Why?"

"She… bleached my mind…" Sisko stared ahead, blankly. "But I had… training. I was from… elsewhere. I am the Emissary. I can resist…" He groaned.

Ruby looked at him, sadly. "Are all of you like this?"

"Very few… joined her… willingly…" Sisko offered.

Ruby roared. "Where. Is. She?"

Sisko pointed at the cute blue ghost flying above the battle outside.

Ruby took aim with both her weapons, firing dust-infused bullets at Spooky.

They hit. Dead on. Spooky fell to the ground quickly.

"There." Ruby said, glowering.

Sisko really doubted Spooky was dead, but he didn't say anything. "We need… To escape… We cannot win here…"

Ruby snapped her fingers. "Take an airship to one of the other kingdoms."

Sisko nodded. "Lead the way." Ruby took off at a run, Sisko trailing behind her.

[]][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Pyrrha was a scarlet-haired huntress-in-training. She had a shield and a bronze spear, heavy bronze boots and a chestplate to match, ready to defend the world.

She had quickly realized the fight was unwinnable, and the only chance humanity had was to fortify the other kingdoms.

So she had ran into an airship. The thing was, unfortunately, deserted and disabled. She quickly killed (or extinguished) the few ghosts that were in the ship, and began attempts at repair. She… was not succeeding.

Then Ba'al arrived. He tapped her on the shoulder. "Need some help?"

Pyrrha was 0.1 seconds away from skewering Ba'al when he put his hands up in surrender. "WOAH WOAH! They're after me to!"

"Prove it."

"I can't." Ba'al muttered. "But I _can_ help you fix this ship."

"Why should I trust you?"

Ba'al groaned. "Listen. I want out of this place. You want out. We both are running from the ghosts. And if you don't trust me, you are not going to be able to fix this thing before the ghosts come en masse.

Pyrrha frowned. "Fine." She said, lowering her spear. "Now, how do we fix this?"

"First we connect these wires and then we press these buttons…"

After a few minutes, the ship's engine roared to life. "YES!" Ba'al said. "Now. I may be an intangible ghost but this thing CAN go pretty fast right?"

"Of course." Phyrra said.

"Good. Let's turn it on." Ba'al said, twisting a knob.

The airship rose into the air, pointing towards another Kingdom.

They looked down at the carnage below them. Piles of bodies could be seen, and screams could be heard coming from everywhere at once. Some buildings were simply falling while others were distorting into unnatural shapes. Phyrra, despite herself, let a tear fall.

Ba'al sighed. "Such a waste." He said. Even he didn't condone needless genocide and slaughter. He much prefered being worhsipped, feared, but also liked and respected. Unleashing genocide was not the way to accomplish that, and it was a bit… distasteful, even for the likes of him.

As Pyrrha and Ba'al flew the ship away from the kingdom, something completely different happened. Not so suddenly, a house that looked somewhat like candy appeared seemingly from nowhere, taking it's place in the airship's large (and very empty) cargo bay. It quickly changed it's appearance to that of a crate with a door.

"...Okay what?" Pyrrha said.

"Is this any stranger than anything else that is happening today?" Ba'al inquired.

"Okay, point taken." She sighed. "But what now?"

Just then the door to the house opened and out walked a brown pony, wearing a large scarf and a bowtie. "And here we ar-" the pony blinked. "...This isn't the Crystal empire..." he said absently-mindedly, pulling out a device from the folds in the gigantic scarf. It went ding.

"Okay. This is now officially more bizarre than the rest of today." Ba'al said after a pause.

The pony turned to look at them "Oh! Locals! Tell me, what is this world called?"

Pyrrha blinked. Then blinked again. Then proceeded to rub her eyes then look at the pony again.

"This world is called Remnant and it is currently being invaded by ghosts from another dimension." Ba'al supplied.

"Oh- well then.. let's see what we can do about that." He said as two more ponies came out of the house, one a pale pink unicorn with a dark purple and blue mane, and the other a grey pegasus with yellow mane and a wobbly eye.

"I'm the Doctor, that's Starlight, and that's Derpy, take us to your leader." the Doctor said with a gigantic grin on his pony face.

It was Ba'al's turn to blink. And blink again.

"Well right now we kinda don't have much in the way of leaders…" Pyrrha said. "We're just trying to warn the other Kingdoms."

"Ah Splendid!" The Doctor said, trotting over to a console. "Starlight! Get us into orbit!"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Of course." She said, lighting her horn up in a blue glow. The airship slowly rose into the sky, and into the stars, astonishing Pyrrha. "How… how are we breathing?"

Derpy smiled a… well a _derpy_ smile. "Starlight put us in an air bubble! Bubbles…"

The Doctor grinned. "Yes of course. Now. Where are these other kingdoms?"

Pyrrha pointed to a large urbanized portion on the surface. "There's one."

"Starlight, take us-"

Suddenly, seven or so pyramid shaped ships appeared in orbit.

"THANK ME." Ba'al said, whooping. "Finally… The cavalry is here."

The Doctor frowned. "Interesting… these ships are most certainly not native to this planet…"

"They're here with me." Ba'al said. "And they are going to kick some spirit butt… Come. They will offer us sanctuary." Ba'al waved at them towards the door. An Al'kesh was parked outside, waiting for them. Pyrrha smiled. It looked like maybe there was hope after all.

The Doctor and Starlight, however, were instantly suspicious. As they boarded the Al'kesh, Starlight used her magic to knock the Doctor's house out of the hangar, and let it fall towards the planet. It never hurt to be safe.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ba'al, in a fresh new body, yelled. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE WON'T TAKE REVENGE ON THEM?"

Ma'al shrugged. "There's simply nothing to do. They are spirits, and therefore largely immune to plasma fire, and we really don't have much in the way of magic."

Ty'al agreed. "Plus, there are several Specimens you've mentioned that we have no counters to."

"Are you NOT HEARING ME? They want to conquer everything! They will come for us!"

Another Ba'al stood up. "We will not retaliate. You have brought us four new specimens, and that is good, but the majority of us agree that attacking Spooky's army would be foolhardy."

"But… But… REVENGE!"

The other Ba'al grinned. "Trust me, brother, we _will_ destroy them. But not now. We need to know them first. Brute force is not our way. We can, however, put the prisoners to good use."

Ty'al grinned. "I say we do the red-haired one first."

Another voice, a rainbow haired one known as Am'al nodded. "Yeah I don't think I'd be happy with a horse body…"

Ma'al shrugged. "The one with powers could be interesting."

The other Ba'al stood up. "Bring her to the chambers. Then execute her."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Pyrrha heard the guards. She heard them discussing "the red one."

She sighed, looking at the three ponies behind her. "I'm… going to be taken…"

Starlight muttered "buck…" under her breath.

"Good luck escaping…" Pyrrha said, tossing her shield and spear to the Doctor. "I hope you can use those when you escape."

The Doctor frowned. "We're not-"

"No." Pyrrha said. "You will not come for me. This isn't even your fight. You escape, and then you get out of here." She smiled, sadly. "Just take those weapons and remember Remnant, would you?"

"I could go back in time and fix this!" The Doctor yelled as the guards came in. He stamped his hoof. "I can!"

Pyrrha looked back as she was dragged away. "I suppose you are welcome to try…"

The Doctor cursed. Derpy began to whimper. "There there Derpy… We'll be fine…"

Starlight grunted, her horn beginning to glow. "Just need to calculate for a few more minutes…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty Lee slashed through everything that wasn't in Spooky's army. _The red girl._ She thought when she saw Ruby dashing towards the airship docks. _You're going down, little red riding hood._ Ty Lee charged.

"Yeeaaagghh!" She brought her ax down attempting to hit Ruby's skull. The girl's gigantic scythe blocked the hit and shot a bullet through Ty Lee's arm.

"That isn't nice…" Ty Lee muttered, pain shooting through her body. Ty Lee's eyes tightened into angry slits. "No one hurts me that easily!" She shrieked at Ruby, swinging her ax down on the scythe again. Ruby jumped back in a summersault, dodging the blade. Ruby shot multiple dust infused bullets from her sister's gauntlet. Ty Lee dodged many and blocked the others with her blood-smeared ax.

Ty Lee swung her ax around in a circle, and then leapt at Ruby, yelling out in intense rage. Ruby's yellow gauntlets deflected the attack, but were damaged in the process. Neither of the girls had managed to land any serious damage on the other. Ruby's eyes twitched in rage.

"THIS IS FOR MY SISTER!" She shouted, swinging her scythe and hitting everything around her. Ty Lee jumped around the scythe, taking a few scrapes, but continually smiling at Ruby's rage.

Then, a couple of things happened.

First, what appeared to be a cargo crate with a door fell from the sky.

Secondly, a blue box fell from the sky as well, making quite the interesting noise. Kinda like a VRWWAAAAP. VRWWWAP. VRWWWAP. Ruby and Ty Lee stopped fighting, staring as the blue box hit the crate with an impressive impact, somehow causing the crate to turn into ANOTHER blue box, although with slightly different designs and words. The blue box that fell from the sky tipped over onto it's side and began smoking.

The doors to the first blue box opened up and a man wearing a brown trenchcoat over a suit and tie climbed out. He stood on the ledge of the box and the ground and started pulling up a rope. A head popped up with blue hair shaped into small braids.

"Doctor, why did you have to crash the TARDIS?" The girl asked, looking inquisitively at the Doctor.

"I didn't HAVE to crash the TARDIS. She crashed herself." The Doctor said, helping the girl to get her feet on the ground.

"Well you did! So that's that!" She said, shaking her head, "And now we have to stay here while she regenerates? Right?" The girl asked.

"Well… Yes Patema." The Doctor said. "Though don't worry, this isn't that bad. I've seen worse. The appearance probably won't even change."

Patema just glared at the Doctor.

"What did I do?" He asked

"EVERYTHING!" Patema shouted in the Doctor's ear.

He rubbed his ear, "You know you don't have to shout at everything I've done wrong. THINGS HAPPEN!"

Then they saw the two girls staring at them.

"Oh Hello! I'm the Doctor! I'm over nine hundred years old and I'm a Time Lord! This is my companion, Patema! And you are?"

"Uh… Ruby Rose…" Ruby said, confused.

A ghost appeared behind Ruby. "Benjamin Sisko."

The third girl started to laugh. "I'M TY LEE! AND YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" She pointed at the Doctor. "AND YOU IN PARTICULAR, MISTER THE-ONE-WHO-GOT-AWAY!"

"What?"

"YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!" Her eyes twitched.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight focused. "Doctor! I have it!"

The brown stallion stamped in excitement! "Excellent! Let's mosey on out of here!"

They could hear the guards coming. "Great wickering stallions! HURRY!" The Doctor said.

Derpy vigorously nodded. "Yeah Starlight! I need my muffins!"

Starlight sighed, casting the spell. Rings began to envelop them, culminating in a ball of light above them that exploded into a ticking magical construct. It resembled an upside down bowl, the time vortex easily visible from beneath. Various circles of magic circled around the bowl, calculating the destination.

"STOP THEM!" The guards said, trying to unlock the doors. But it was too late.

The three ponies, and Pyrrha's weapons, were sucked into the bowl.

The guards cursed. This was not good. Sewer duty for eternity…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A bowl of time appeared above Ty Lee.

"What?" The Doctor said, as a shield dropped out of the bowl onto the axe-crazy girl's face.

"What?" He said as a spear spiked her in the arm.

" _What?"_ He said as a unicorn and a very ditzy pegasus fell out of the bowl.

" _WHAT?"_ He said as a very dashing stallion dropped out of the bowl and adjusted his bowtie. "There we go…" The brown pony said, smiling. "And here's our time machine! Uh…" He blinked. "Uh. Why is it a blue box? And why are there two of them?"

The Time Lord turned around, blinking. "Huh. There are two of them. I believe the "pony call box" would be yours?"

"It's not supposed to look like that!" The pony said, annoyed. "I'm the Doctor and I demand to know what's going on!"

The Time Lord blinked. "No, _I'm_ the Doctor!"

Patema raised a finger. "How about… Doctor Who and Doctor Whooves?"

"NO!" Doctor Who and Doctor Whooves said simultaneously. "DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!"

Starlight shrugged. "I like it. So, Doctor Whooves, what's the plan?"

"Figure out what these blokes are doing here and why!" Doctor Whooves said, annoyed.

Doctor Who folded his arms. "We explore time and space in the Tardis."

"What the wickering stallion is a Tardis?"

"It stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space." Patema offered.

"I rather like that name…" Doctor Whooves said, thoughtful. Maybe he'd start using it. His house didn't really have a name at the moment.

Doctor Who observed Doctor Whooves' Tardis. He creaked the door open. "Bizzare. It _is_ bigger on the inside. How on earth did you get a Tardis?"

"I _made it!"_ Doctor Whooves said, grinning in pride.

"How on earth could an Equestrian make a Tardis?"

"Centuries of hard work…"

"Equestrians don't live centuries unless they're alicorns!"

"Ah, but there are spells-"

"YOU'RE AN EARTH PONY!"

"SCIENCE IS THE REAL MAGIC!"

Then the two of them realized their companions were giggling.

"WHAT?" They both yelled, indignantly.

"Oh nothing…" Patema said.

"It's just…" Starlight began before choking on her laugh.

"You two are absolutely adorable!" Derpy finished, grinning.

"WE ARE NOT!"

Then everyone present heard the sounds of hundreds of ghosts coming towards them.

Ty Lee began to laugh like a maniac. "They're coming… and you all will die.."

The Doctors looked at the crazed lunatic and grinned. "Not on our watch… INTO THE TARDIS! STOP COPYING ME!"

The two Doctors went into their respective Tardises, with their companions following them.

Ruby and Sisko followed Doctor Who. Doctor Whooves was carrying Pyrrha's weapons.

The two phone boxes quickly vanished, VWRRRAP VWRRRAP VWRRRAP.

And then they were gone.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Once inside the Time Vortex, Sisko immediately began to fade. The Doctor (the Time Lord) ran to him. "Spirit fading… This doesn't make any sense!"

"She… has me on a leash…" Sisko said, panting. "I.. have nothing else to hold onto… no body…"

The Doctor yelled in frustration. "No! I'll get you a body…" He said, rummaging through a random Tardis storage area.

Sisko sighed. "I… Am sorry… I must go…" And with that he vanished in a puff of smoke.

The Doctor roared. "Why. Why. WHY. Why do people have to DIE-"

"I'm still here…" Ruby said. "You saved me. He saved me too."

"But your world is burning and there's not a thing I can do about it."

"Why not?" Ruby asked.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][[][][][][][][][]

"THE INVASION IS A FIXED POINT IN TIME!" The Doctor (the stallion) yelled. "Great wickering stallions!"

Starlight looked at Pyrrha's weapons. "That means…"

"...We can't save her." Derpy finished. She started to tear up.

Starlight went to comfort her, while the Doctor rambled on and on about how stupid he was.

"Two Tardises and an interdimensional attack… of course that will create a fixed point... " He stomped the ground. "Such pain we've discovered in the universes…"

Starlight looked into the Doctor's eyes. "That's why we're out here, Doctor, to make things better for everyone. To help those who have disadvantages, and to knock those with power down a peg. Goodness knows they need it. No one is better than anyone else."

The Doctor nodded. "Of course of course…" He frowned. "Perhaps we should return to our own world now… See how it's faring in the future…"

Derpy looked at Pyrrha's weapons. "We will honor her…"

"Of course Derpy." The Doctor said, sadly smiling. "Of course."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Spooky grinned, sitting on a throne she had made herself out of these humans' various weapons.

The first kingdom had fallen, and two others were in the process of being taken. The last one was creating a defensive front, but it would be a matter of days until she had control over the millions of spirits on this planet, and be able to defeat the last of thim.

All in all, this was a huge success. She had been a little worried when the ships had appeared, and the news of the Doctors was an unwelcome surprise, but those threats had ended quickly.

In fact, there was just one thing she was really upset about. The girl who had shot her. It had taken a bit of digging, but she had found out who she was.

"Ruby Rose...I am going to kill you personally." She yelled, throwing her knife at the screen she was looking at.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In the Spiritual Planes, Ford trekked onward. There were no more demons at this level, and the scenery was rather nice. Perhaps he'd come across that ancient black-haired girl again here…

Then something unexpected happened. Most spirits didn't enter the Spiritual Planes at all, and even those that did were often deposited far _far_ apart in the billions upon billions of light years that made up the area.

So Ford was really surprised when a spirit appeared right in front of him.

He was even more surprised when he recognized it.

"SISKO?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

JULPP RI WKH FRUH ZLOO EHFRPH VSHFLPHQ 15

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: well. That was… fun. :3**

 ***spooky impact***

 **DARNIT.**


	27. January 26: Chemicals

**AN:**

 **GM: remember what I said about episode rewrites being good** _ **and**_ **bad?**

 **Well guess what.**

 **This one's good.**

 **Ka-ching!**

Thursday, January 26: Chemicals

"Man turns to dust, yet is still sitting in his chair." Scully observed. She poked the man, causing part of him to fall away. "If you never touched him you'd just think he was just standing really, really still…"

"Sitting." Peter observed. "He's sitting."

"You know what I meant."

"Anyway… yesterday this man sat down and sat down and…. well continued sitting down. At some point he turned to dust. His wife came home and found him like this. She sneezed, which is why half of his body was already in a pile here." Peter shrugged. "Should I be concerned that I'm not disturbed by this?"

"You become inoculated to just about every kind of weirdness if you do this job long enough…" Scully muttered, sampling part of the man's face.

"Have I been doing it too long then?"

"Not even close. When you get abducted by aliens you can come talk to me."

Peter blinked. "Well… okay then…"

Broyles walked into the crime scene, looking a bit disturbed.

"Ah Broyles!" Peter welcomed the man in. "What brings you here?"

"I've seen this before." He said, handing them a file. "Four years ago there were a series of five murders in exactly this manner. Five people turned to dust and died." He sighed. "I never solved it."

"There are always unsolved cases." Peter observed.

Scully rolled her eyes. "Yeah. In fact in our line of work it may be the most common kind of case… Remember last week's blue spoon murders?"

"Ah yes…"

"Still not entirely sure what was going on there…"

"Mulder says it had something to do with memetic influence of… the color blue."

"That's not really solved, now is it?"

"True…"

Broyles coughed. "I'm having all relevant information transferred to you. The two things you should know…" He took a breath. "First off, all of the five victims went to the same hospital. Secondly… we received phone calls after every murder from a man who knew things only the murderer could know. Except…"

"...he wanted the murders to stop." Scully completed. "I've seen this before."

"You have?"

"It's either a psychological condition, which is what I would have said a decade ago without question or…" She paused. "Something else entirely is going on. And given the nature of our dusty friend here, I'm willing to go with the second option." She stood up, looking at Broyles. "What did he say?"

"All he did was give us a complicated chemistry puzzle. He said that if we could solve that, the murders would stop." He froned. "The FBI has been working on that puzzle for four years, no solution is evident…"

Scully nodded. "I'm willing to bet that whatever is causing these murders is directly related to that chemical puzzle, and yes, it very likely will stop the murders."

Peter stared, agape. "I thought you were the _sane_ one?"

"That's only when Mulder's around." She smirked. "When I'm alone, I'm perfectly capable of being a good madwoman." She returned to Broyles. "I think we should give this chemical puzzle to Walter and Lyre…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Lyre! Are you seeing this?" Walter said, arms wide.

"Yes." Lyre said, for once not bothering with a strange title for Walter. "This is a chemistry puzzle the greatest minds in the FBI couldn't solve."

"Let's figure it out in an afternoon."

"Couldn't agree more. NOW! I shall synthesize some elements. What do you think happens if we insert Platinum at this location?"

Walter waved his hands in dismissal. "No… we need titanium there."

"How would that work?"

"We can _make_ it work!"

"Ah yes crazy old man! LETS SCREW CONVENTIONAL PHYSICS! Let's see what happens when we insert a THAUM!"

"Experimental! Yes!"

"The effects of magic would be most interesting…" Lyre said, representing the thaums with cat-meme pictures.

"Oh. Oho! That certainly is most clever mister cat! Two kinds of people indeed…"

"That is a personal favorite of mine. Grumpy cat for the win!"

Walter clapped. "Now, let's move on to the complicated bit…"

"Looks like a possible connection to a carbohydrate…"

"No, protein… Want some milk?"

"I'm a sentient magical crystal augmented with technology. I have no need for milk, needy human."

"Such a shame. You're missing out on the amazing thing known has taste…"

"Are you saying I have no taste?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Walter said, guzzling the entire carton.

"You sicken me." Lyre said while chuckling.

"Now, what about xenon tetrafluoride…"

At another area of the lab, Mulder and Scully were performing tests on the dusty remains.

"That is odd... " Scully said, looking at the readings. "Nothing but base elements. Nothing else at all."

Mulder frowned. "Nothing radioactive at all?"

"Nothing…"

Mulder clapped his hands together. "RADIATION EATING MONSTER!"

Scully sighed. "Really?"

"Think about it. This is exactly what would happen if someone instantly lost all radiation within them. Many of their atoms would decay and lose connection, decaying into more basic elements!"

"Mulder most humans aren't flooded with radiation…"

" _Most._ The victims were at a hospital remember?"

"Yes… so?"

"Radiation treatment. They could be flooded with the stuff simply from visiting."

Scully's eyes widened. "So let's assume this is a "radiation eating monster." It lurks around hospitals, attacking people with radiation in them every few years when it needs a fill... Why is there a man who knows everything it's doing?"

"Perhaps our man IS the creature, and he has no control over what he is doing. Maybe the creature is a split personality disorder gone horribly wrong. Maybe he isn't involved at all."

Scully rolled her eyes. Yep. Mulder was still crazier than she was. It was one of the things she loved and hated about him in equal forces at the same time.

Scully's phone rang. It was Olivia.

"We checked the hospital our man visited yesterday. Turns out a janitor suspiciously left work today, and a comatose patient has gone completely missing. Peter and I are tearing this place apart, but we're not finding anything else at the moment. Guy's name was Tomos Koslov. Everyone described him as a nervous tick who sometimes babbled in big long words."

"Mad scientist?" Scully theorized.

"Most definitely. I've been around Walter long enough to know when one's mentioned. As it turns out the Tomos Koslov was working at the hospital where the other murders took place four years ago, and he quit as soon as the murders stopped. So he's definitely involved somehow." Olivia paused. "We're sending all we have on Tomos Koslov to the FBI and Broyles, to see what they can turn up. And Peter and I will be observing security tapes for the next few hours..." She sighed.

Scully smirked. "Have fun. We'll still be working here on our own investigations. We'll figure this out."

She hung up, and began to investigate the dust one more…

The voices of Lyre and Walter carried into her head.

"What is it with you and your obsession with xenon?"

"It's like a bone saw. Nice. Pristine. And violent."

"It's a noble gas, oh great madman with a saw. It reacts with nil."

"Have you not heard of xenic acid?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Van Horn.

Man of power and influence within the United States Government.

Friend of Broyles.

Unfortunately whenever Van Horn paid Broyles a visit the news was usually bad. Van Horn was an important man, and he only came when things were important.

Very important.

As in, _top secret_ important.

Broyles sighed as Van Horn walked in. So much about the US Government was need-to-know basis only. The Fringe team was a largely secret organization, and Broyles was aware of several others. For instance, there was a DOM (Department of… Something that started with M…) somewhere hidden in the US Government.

When Van Horn came around, it was to take something away from one of these organizations (or at least the ones Van Horn was informed of) and give it to other organizations, or the CIA. (or what they were _told_ was the CIA.)

Van Horn sighed. "Broyles…"

"What happened."

"The fingerprints you submitted of this… Tomos Koslov. They raised quite a few red flags in the Kremlin."

"The Russians?"

"Yes and I'm really sorry I can't give you anything else. The Russians want to keep this really, hush-hush. He did something rather embarrassing. I'm here to relieve you of the case and officially give it to the CIA. And yes, it really is the CIA this time, believe it or not."

Broyles frowned. He still wasn't sure. "You know this case means a lot…"

"Yes I'm aware of your four years trying to solve this. That is why I'm going to try and take the CIA off your back for a while. It'll only work for a day or two, so you'd better hurry." Van Horn adjusted his fancy suit. "Now, I've got to meet with certain things you aren't allowed to be privy to."

As Van Horn was leaving the room, he stopped in his tracks. "You are being watched, Broyles. You and your team. I do not have influence in all of those watching you. And I am _not_ talking about the Observers and your other universe enemies. There are still others watching, others I know little about and can do nothing to stop." He turned to look at an empty space. "I wouldn't be surprised if they're watching us now…"

Van Horn walked out, leaving Broyles in silence.

In a shed five miles away, Cain raised an eyebrow in surprise, making sure that really happened. He adjusted the photo he currently held in his hand, to make sure it wasn't a trick.

Nope. That Van Horn had been looking at exactly the spot Iris had taken the picture from. He _knew_ that he was being watched, and he knew it was them.

Cain smirked. This Van Horn was a little high up the ladder for even the Foundation to know completely. Very interesting indeed.

But at the moment, Van Horn was inconsequential. This case with the dust people was the point.

It was time he paid agents Mulder and Scully a visit…

It was too bad Lightning was no longer around. He really wanted to know more about this mark that was on his head…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"WOAHWOAHWOAH." Peter said, pointing at the security feed. "LOOK. AT. THAT."

Olivia and Peter looked at the security camera feed. They saw a strange, shadowy, humanoid being crawling through the halls of the hospital. Walking down the hallway, just barely in sight. It headed towards the radiation therapy room. Then it left, vanishing into thin air as it exited the room.

Olivia checked the time stamp. "This was four hours ago… Before the coma patient was stolen…"

"You check. I'll send this to the others…"

Olivia ran into the room indicated on the feed, and found a really old cancer patient.

Who wasn't moving at all.

She reached out a finger and touched him, causing part of him to crumble to dust.

She wasn't exactly sure what else she was expecting. "That's two…" She muttered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Scully and Mulder were walking down the street.

"Humanoid shadow that sucks the radiation out of people, reducing them to dust." Scully commented.

"Yep." Mulder said, eating a sunflower seed.

"Wonder what it is."

"Not everything has an explanation."

"We don't _find_ an explanation for everything."

Mulder chuckled. "Still believe everything can be explained somehow?"

"Yes. I've come to accept that I won't find the answers for everything, but there _are_ answers."

Mulder smirked. "Whatever you say."

Then the two of them came to a complete stop as they saw _him_ standing in front of them.

They stared at each other.

"Cain." Mulder said, distrustful.

"Agents Mulder and Scully." Cain responded, keeping as much of his face hidden as possible.

"What do you want?"

"I have information for you." Cain answered. "Information regarding your case with the shadow."

Scully squinted. "Why should we trust you?"

Cain sighed. "You have no reason to. I'm just going to set the terms for the information. The Foundation had agreed to help you solve your case as long as we are allowed to take custody of the shadow and any related persons or objects. We have facilities specially designed to contain objects of this sort."

Mulder nodded slowly. Scully nudged him. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

"We need the info. And plus, every time _we_ try to imprison something weird it ends badly.'

Scully couldn't argue with that.

"We accept to your terms, as long as we get to observe the shadow ourselves for a while."

Cain shrugged. "I can guarantee you a few hours, nothing more." Cain took a file out of his cloak. "Koslov is actually named Timur Vasilev. He was the brother of a cosmonaut for the Russian government. This cosmonaut was declared dead about a decade ago, however Timur knew better. He broke into a secret Russian facility and took his comatose brother out."

"The coma patient…" Mulder said, realizing.

"Exactly." Cain continued. "What Timur didn't realize was that his brother was being studied for giving off… anomalous readings. Ever since he had returned from his mission, he had been in a coma, but a shadow had been prowling around, killing people." Cain handed the file over. "This is all the information we stole from the Russian facility."

Mulder flipped through a file. "Halfway through a space mission the man falls comatose, as if he was infected with something…" Mulder's eyes widened, looking at Scully. "The Black Oil."

"How could it be the Black Oil?" Scully questioned. "That stuff kills or controls. It doesn't cause the patient to enter a coma!"

"If any of it was left in orbit, it would have been exposed to heavy amounts of solar radiation." Mulder snapped his fingers. "And it would have mutated into something _else."_

Cain blinked. "Black Oil? What is this?"

"Alien pathogen." Mulder responded, waving Cain away. "We'll get you your shadow. We have something to inform Walter." The two ran off.

Cain frowned. Black Oil. Why did the Foundation not have any of this alien pathogen…

He decided to check up on the SCP archives, to see if there was anything.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Walter compared the DNA scan of the Black Oil with human DNA and the chemical puzzle. Walter's eyes widened. "Lyre…"

"...yes I'm seeing what you're seeing." Lyre responded. "That chemical bond represents a way that the Black Oil can directly react with human DNA. Fusing in a way. Now this section of the Black Oil DNA would normally prevent this from happening.. however…"

"...a simple mutation can get rid of that." Walter said, clapping his hand. "Ahah!"

"We still haven't solved how to separate them."

"So.." Scully said, thinking aloud. "He's trying to separate the Black Oil from the cosmonaut?"

"Exactly" Walter said. "And he needs our help to do it."

"With this new information, we should have a solution within an hour." Lyre said. "Let's get cracking!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _One hour later…_

"Crap." Lyre muttered. "It's impossible."

"The piece of Technium here just won't adapt to our needs…" Walter sighed, falling. "We don't have chemistry advanced enough to separate the two compounds."

Mulder frowned. "What do we do then…"

Scully shrugged. "The antidote might work."

"Maybe…" Mulder said. "I can try contacting someone. See if I can get some."

"That's dangerous…"

"So's having a shadow Black Oil creature around. We should probably deal with it quickly before they get ideas…"

"They probably already have ideas, Mulder."

"Better safe than sorry. And if it doesn't work, we'll have an extra bottle." Mulder stood up. "Keep thinking. I'm going out."

Lyre spoke up. "I could try casting magic, but I would have to physically be there to do anything."

Scully nodded. "I'll go get you."

"Alas, I must leave you Interent, but I shall be back to surf you evermore!"

Scully rolled her eyes.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder was in the back room of a very _very_ seclusive building. Only a select few were even allowed in here. He sat, waiting, observing the grain of the table while continually working out the case in his head.

He looked up to see the Smoking Man sitting in front of him.

"I didn't see you come in…" Mulder observed.

"I've gotten extremely good at stealth." The Smoking Man responded.

"You were already good."

"I've improved." The Smoking Man smirked. "Now, I've managed to figure out what _you_ want." He pulled out a vial of brownish liquid. "What is it you are offering me?"

Mulder pulled out two things. "You may recognize the shape changing device." He said, gesturing to the black box with two pronged cables. "Fully operational if you can figure out how to use it, but I know you have your own soldiers. The other object is a crystal we discovered with anomalous properties." _Lyre just generated the thing in a few minutes…_ Mulder thought.

The Smoking Man observed the two objects. "I want the information your database has concerning Earth."

Mulder blinked. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

"I know you have it tied to your bunker, wherever that is." The Smoking Man smirked. "Good job hiding it from me by the way. I have no idea what X-files or Fringe cases you used to do that, but it must've been rather difficult to obtain."

"Still have no clue what you're talking about." Mulder responded, lying through his teeth.

The Smoking Man shrugged. "Fine then. You don't have to admit to anything. Just send me a message to this phone."

Mulder pulled out his phone, sending a request. The database transferred the file to the Smoking Man's phone. "I still don't know what you're talking about."

The Smoking Man nodded. "And I never recieved a message." He gave mulder the vial, taking the crystal and the shapeshifting device. "Pleasure doing business with you, Mulder."

"The feeling isn't mutual."

"I know." The Smoking Man said, before walking out.

Mulder stood up, preparing to leave. Then he realized the door wasn't open.

He didn't remember hearing the Smoking Man open it…

How did that man get out of the room?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Walter used a syringe to take a single drop of the antidote. He walked over to the experimentation table, dropping the solution on the replica of the human-Black Oil bond.

There was a reaction, all right. The table burst into flames.

"It'll kill the Black Oil all right." Walter observed. "But it'd fry our cosmonaut friend in the process."

Lyre, who was physically in the room on the next table, sighed overdramatically. "OOOOF course. Lousy mad scientists. Time to use magic! I've got a Clearja and a Curaja ready. TAKE ME TO THE COMA COSMONAUT HOST!"

Peter nodded, dialing the number Broyles had given him. A man answered.

"Who is this?"

"Peter Bishop, working on your case. We may have a solution to your brother's condition."

"Really…" The man said, skeptical. "What is it?"

"We have in our possession a being of unusual power, much like the shadow beast that inhabits your brother. While we determined that we cannot separate the two chemically, we are going to attempt to use ours to cure him."

"Such a crazy story could not be made up." Timur sighed. "I suppose I'll try anything at this point… The address is 430 Westminster street."

"We're on our way." Peter said, motioning everyone into an FBI van. "We'll be coming in a van."

"I'll be out front." Timur said before hanging up.

Minutes later, the agents arrived on the scene. Olivia, Peter, Mulder, and Scully brought up the rear while Walter carried Lyre to Timur.

"What… _is_ that?" Timur asked.

Lyre huffed. "I am Lyre, a Fal'cie. Your puny mind couldn't comprehend me, watcher of shadow. Now show me my patient."

Timur turned, motioning for them to follow. He froze in place as he saw, right in front of him, the shadow. It poked it's finger right into his chest. Timur froze in place as the shadow turned to walk away.

"THUNDER!" Lyre yelled, trying to strike the shadow. The spell went right through the being, and it vanished moments later. The force of the spell blew Timur's dust everywhere. Lyre cursed. "Get me to the patient. We need to hurry. CARRY ME FORTH UNTO GLORY!"

Scully groaned. Even in a crisis, Lyre was still Lyre.

They soon arrived at a lonely, barren room with nothing more than a cot, light bulb, and a coma patient. The cosmonaut did have several medical instruments fed into him and his chest rose and fell with each breath. The man looked frail, though not really old.

"A decade of his life spent sitting here with the Black Oil mutation inside him, eating radiation off other people…" Olivia said, depressed.

Lyre scanned the man. "Okay here it goes. Deep breath. CLEARJA!" A wisp of blue energy shot out of Lyre, hitting the man. He took a deep breath, his eyes flying open. He sat up, staring ahead with a blank stare.

"It worked!" Olivia said, a smile coming to her face.

Mulder walked up. "I welcome you back to the world of the conscious. Come, we have-"

The man shot out a hand, grabbing Mulder by the throat. Wisps of black smoke came from the man's fingernails, entering Mulder's body. Mulder stepped back, gagging. "That… didn't' work…"

"CRAP!" Lyre yelled. "I cured his _coma!_ The Black Oil is still in control!"

The "man" punched Lyre, sending him out the door, wisps of blackness trying to attach themselves to the diminutive Fal'cie but accomplishing nothing.

Olivia, Peter, and Scully all drew their guns and loaded dozens of bullets into the man. All they accomplished was making new pores for the Black Oil wisps to come out of. It rushed all of them, enveloping them in the gas.

Walter yelled. "Stay away from Peter!" He said, picking up a chair and tossing it at the man, making a nice THUNK noise on his skull. The man stumbled, Black Oil wisping out of the crack in his skull. The man's face remained completely straight and emotionless throughout the ordeal. It moved towards Walter, hands outstretched.

"HEY BIG BLACK AND UGLY!" Lyre yelled from behind. "BLIZAJA!" Shards of ice shot through the man's body, causing him to convulse. The ice began to crystalize around the being, freezing him solid. Lyre whooped. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR PUNCHING THE GREAT LYRE!"

Mulder quickly took the antidote out of his pocket. "We've got to hurry before it spreads through our system…"

"Won't that just _burn_ us?" Peter countered.

"Maybe. I hope there's not enough of it in our system to do that yet… Though we only have enough for one person…" Mulder began to offer it to Scully.

"No." Scully said. "Give it to Walter. He's the most important."

Walter blinked. "No no no… I'm just an old man with a lot of crazy ideas-"

"A crazy man who is a genius." Peter said, looking into his father's eyes. "You are the one with past experiences. You are the mad scientist. The rest of us can be replaced."

"But… Peter!"

"Don't worry about me. Just take it." Peter said, shoving the vial into Walter's hands. "Quickly!"

Walter stared at the vial of brown liquid. He shivered. "But… I don't-"

"Dad." Peter said, grabbing Walter's shoulders. "You must go on. The fate of the world probably depends on it. I won't hold a grudge, trust me."

Walter smiled sadly, a tear dropping from his eyes. "Of course, my son…" He uncorked the antidote, shoving it down Peter's mouth. Peter screamed in agony as it felt like part of him was on fire. After a few moments the pain stopped, though he had a burning sensation all over his skin.

"Walter! What have you done?" Peter said, yelling. "I'm not worth it!"

"You are always worth it. I will always do it, Peter. Nothing will change my mind." Walter responded, a sad look in his eyes. Peter just stared, agape.

There was silence.

"SCAN COMPLETE!" Lyre yelled. He would have grinned if he could've. "I love blue magic. BLACK OIL ANTIDOTE!" Lyre said, a pulse of magic shooting out of him. The Black Oil in the air ignited, and everyone else felt like their insides were burning. Scully coughed up smoke.

Then the burning lessened. The agony disappeared. They felt… normal.

The four agents and Walter stood up. (Lyre made some indignant remark about not being thanked.) Walter and Peter embraced, as did Scully and Mulder. Everyone was breathing heavily.

Olivia looked at the frozen man. "How long will this ice last?"

"Probably about half an hour, oh blonde agent." Lyre answered.

"And I'll be taking it off your hands." Cain said, walking into the room. "We had a deal, after all."

Lyre laughed. "HEY! Cain of metal shards! How are you liking my little gift?"

"It's working rather well actually. I've become a much more effective agent."

"Ah but you do realize you're doomed unless you keep Lightning safe from a threat. And we have no clue where she is."

Cain frowned. "I think my powers may counteract your "doom-""

"Aha no." Lyre said, chuckling. "You don't complete your Focus, you just change form. A form that can't really move or function in society. You basically become a monster."

Cain shook his head. "I'm already a monster…" He turned to everyone. "You should all go before the Foundation arrives. They have ways to wipe your mind if they feel like it. You already have all the info you need."

Scully nodded. "We will see each other agian."

"I don't doubt it." Cain responded.

Cain was left alone with the frozen creature. "Well… looks like you're going to become a new SCP. If we can figure out how to condition you we may even end working together."

"Ah... " A woman's voice said from behind him. "This one carries special significance. It is part of the… _other_ groups. The Synidcate for one…"

Cain tensed. He knew that voice. "Eleven! What are you-"

"Checking up on my personal project, what else?" The woman known only as O5-11 said. "Bright and Gears are going to love working on this one…"

"Of course." Cain said, treading carefully.

"We all need to watch ourselves. The time is coming soon when the Foundation will have to protect this world. These other universes and alien forces are nothing compared to _them._ "

Cain nodded. " _They_ are the reason I serve you, after all."

"Don't I know that." O5-11 said, turning around. "The others will be here shortly to take him away.

[][]][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

ZDOWHU KDV GRQH LW EHIRUH. ZDOWHU ZLOO GR LW DJDLQ.

WALTER HAS DONE IT BEFORE. WALTER WILL DO IT AGAIN.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: next chapter we will have a nice short comedic look at the Hoseki System. The calm before the storm.**

 **For the finale is about to begin.**

 **Also Merry Christmas! Sorry we didn't plan a Christmas special.**


	28. January 27: Janet

**AN:**

 **GM: a day in the life of President Janet Marlowe…**

 **Welp, we made an oops. The Conspiracy Wheel on the ORBSyndicate deviantart was a pathetic resolution. We uploaded a higher res image. Now you can actually** _ **see**_ **the small symbols. Hooray!**

Friday, January 27: Janet

 **12 AM**

Sleep.

 **1 AM**

Sleep.

 **2 AM**

Sleep.

 **3 AM**

For some reason, President Janet Marlowe awoke at 3 AM just in time to see an owl fly into her window with a bonk. She was a little too tired to realize that she was _in space._ And there shouldn't even be an owl there. She quickly fell back asleep.

 **4 AM**

Sleep.

 **5 AM**

Sleep.

 **6 AM**

Janet Marlowe woke up, shaking her head. Since Gari hair was very plastic-like, there was no amazing hair whipping effect, instead it just looked kinda wobbly. She examined herself in the mirror, approving of the look, and put on her nice purple Presidential Dress, the symbol of the Hoseki System plainly visible in the center of it. She went up to her computer and examined the newsfeed for any important stories. Not seeing much, she started playing games on the internet to pass the time. She needed to get to the morning meeting by nine AM. Shouldn't be a problem.

 **7 AM**

 _Stupid zombies, my gardening skills are superior! Bask in the glory of Presidential planning and intelligence! Your mindless hordes are no match for my well designed walls of plant power! Ah I love eating breakfast while watching zombies fall by the dozen._

 **8 AM**

 _Why am I flapping this bird through pipes. Why. It doesn't make any sense. I just tap and it flaps and it just goes through the pipes. What is the point- Oh. I died. I should try again and- hey. You obey me bird. I'll be- What are you doing bird are you some kind of reter- SERIOUSLY? Okay game, you and me are going to have a little talk..._

 **9 AM**

 _And I got a score of 99. Eh… not going for a hundred again and-_

Janet looked at the time.

9:05.

 _CRAP!_ Janet said, leaping up and running out of her room and into the meeting hall. She breathed deeply. "Well.. gentlemen... puff… puff… What do we have to report today?"

"Equestrians, Vulcans, and Tellarites have been added to the alliance." An elf said (Janet could never remember his name…) "Most of the varied human worlds within the alliance are joining the Hebridans, making them a little easier to keep track of. The official signing of the treaty is scheduled for February first, and will take place on Utopia Base."

"And of course after that we can't just let new people in on the alliance." Janet said, frowning. "Why can't we just keep it open at all times?"

"Because-"

"I know why." Janet rolled her eyes. "I was complaining. Politics require things to be done slowly. It's only been a month and already the politicians are clamoring that things are happening way too fast and we need to set up guidelines…"

"That's what the treaty is, madame president."

"I know that." Janet sighed. "Can't I complain?"

"Well…" A Dragon advisor known as Erdik spoke up. "You do complain virtually every day."

Pollux the Phasian flashed with electricity. "I say we screw the treaty!"

Janet facepalmed. "Pollux. We need some kind of treaty or this alliance can just fall apart. The document we created a month ago is just a bunch of suggestions!" She turned. "By the way, how are the Omnigate scans going?"

Pollux flashed in annoyance. "The STAB was right. It _is_ tearing through spacetime. We even discovered that our dimensional drives are doing a similar thing, though on a lesser scale."

Janet sighed dramatically. "I really, really don't like being wrong…"

"I WILL SPARK THEM!"

"That's enough Pollux." Erdik warned. "We are the President's personal advisors. Not her entertainment."

"I DISAGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY!"

"I believe we are both Erdik." Kayz said, playing with some ice. "We are advisors and entertainment."

Janet nodded. "Someone give me a report of who's in the Alliance."

The elf brought up a holographic display. "There's us, the Asgard, the Nox, Earth, the Hebridans, the Vulcans, the Tellarites, the Equestrians, the Diqans, the Hylians, the Shroomians, the Tollans, and the Comet Observers. As I said, the other human races are merging with the Hebridans."

"Isn't Rosalina only a single Comet Observer?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Seems kinda small…"

"She does rule over a lot of Lumas. Not to mention she kinda oversees the rest of the galaxy."

"But the Shroomians and the Hylians aren't counted under her- Oh forget it it's politics I'll just live with the weirdness. Inform me on the various things I need to know about the Alliance…"

 **10 AM**

"...and the campaign against Anubis is going well. As you ordered we are going for the hit and run approach to minimise casualties, though a few hundred have perished…"

Janet frowned. "How many warships did we lose?"

"Three warships so far."

Janet growled.

"You do realize we lost billions of people in the Wisp Wars right?"

Janet glared at the advisor who had spoken up, a sprite. "You're new here right? Let me tell you something: just because I happen to be good at throwing thousands of people into battle and plotting like a general does not mean I want to dwell on the most bloody conflict in all history."

"Yes ma'am"

"Good. Now, what else?"

"No evidence of the disc-ships." Kayz offered. "At all. We saw their probe that one time and now nothing. _Nothing._ "

"Was the Omnigate of any use in tracking them down?"

"Nope. It got nothing. And we're shutting it down anyway, remember? We're creating an interdimensional stargate hub instead."

"Right.." Janet said, frowning. "What about our dimensional drives?"

"Right not the effect they have on the fabric of reality is miniscule. However in a year or two it's likely the effects will add up. The STAB conveniently left out of their report how they can travel without tearing apart reality."

"I want entire teams of scientists devoted to making a cleaner dimensional drive. It's going to bite us later if we don't develop one soon." Janet blinked. "Perhaps we can ask the Doctor for it?"

Kayz shook her head. "Illumirie analyzed the Tardis while it was here. The machine resorts to time manipulation to keep everything in balance. And as you know we don't let anyone aside from the Illuminati, your brother-in-law, and Bridget to mess with time."

"For good reason." Janet muttered, remembering a certain event that occurred early in her presidency that resulted in that law being passed. "We will look for an alternate solution. Why aren't the stargates causing problems?"

"The wormholes they create are small enough that the fabric of the universe will repair itself within a matter of minutes. The larger it is and the longer it stays active the more holes it tears through spacetime. Our ships transmit through dimensions using the drive instantly, so while they are big enough to leave an effect it's miniscule. The Omnigate was literally shredding reality. It probably couldn't have activated any more than three more times before something went wrong."

"Such as?"

"Well the scientists tend to think that we'd get a black hole the size of a solar system, but I personally think some kind of magical manifestation is going to occur."

Janet nodded. "Anything else?"

"You have a speech to give on Qi."

"Ah. Right…" Janet muttered. "Set course for Qi. I'll be in my office."

 **11 AM**

"Madame President?" A human with a nametag that said "Fred."

"Yes…?" Janet said, smiling warmly. _Why do they always bother me at pipe number 99…_

"Need you to look this over. It's a bill for regulating the press."

Janet frowned. "You do realize one of the rights we guarantee is _free press_ right?"

"Well… I… Uh…"

Janet scanned the document. "Ah… a binding magical contract."

The visitor began to quake in his boots. "I can explain-"

"One, I'm not stupid - I scan every document I sign. Two, I've been enchanted by several high mages making me most likely immune to this sort of thing. Three, we don't do any bills about free press. Four, I know about all bills that come to me beforehand. Five, Fred is a Diverlan."

The human passed out.

"Kayz, could you come here? Some bozo got in and tried to assassinate me again or something. Fire the current security guard and get a better one."

Janet observed the "bill." She couldn't read the language, although there was an engraving of an owl on it. Interesting.

 **12 PM**

"With the election coming up, the people are screaming for Janet to break the three-term rule and stay in power!"

Janet groaned, changing the channel on the TV. "Do these people _not get it?_ I'm don't want to be President for the rest of my life!"

Kayz shrugged. "You do realize the responsibility you have won't just vanish right?"

"Of course." Janet said, pacing around the room. "But the System needs to realize that change is a good thing! There is no such thing as a perfect system. The system needs to constantly be in flux or things will become stale. Not stable."

"You've given this rant a million times Janet…"

"I know." Janet said, smirking to herself. "I just like giving it I suppose."

She glanced out the window. She swore she saw an owl out there a minute ago. Of course that was impossible, since they were _in space._

"Well, I'm ready to have lunch. Coming Kayz?"

"Of course."

 **1 PM**

The dining room of the Presidential Yacht had the largest window on the entire ship. Three stories high and twenty meters wide, it gave quite the amazing view. Currently they were over Qi, the largest planet in the System. The gas giant was tremendous, it's reddish clouds swirling around, culminating into a tremendous black storm that could swallow New Jupiter.

Janet drank the smile-dip infused wine. The colors of Qi began to shift and change, and strange cute animals began to appear on the edges of her vision.

She giggled.

Kayz rolled her eyes. "What is it with you and that stuff?"

"Stressful job requires lots of relaxation. Though I suppose today hasn't been that bad-"

"MADAME PRESIDENT!" A voice yelled from across the hall.

"X****" Janet muttered. "YES?" She yelled back, slowly standing up.

"GENERAL RANDALL HAS A REPORT FROM THE FRONT WITH ANUBIS! HE REQUESTS YOUR IMMEDIATE AUDIENCE!"

It was times like this when Janet wished she liked alcohol and could simply have a patch remove any intoxication. "OOOOON my way you silly little man…" Janet wobbled into an upright position. She focused, and managed to remove the intoxicated look from herself.

Then she took a step and promptly fell flat on her face.

She groaned. This was going to be great...

 **2 PM**

"Um… madame President?"

"What." Janet gave him the "die" look.

"What am I going to do about the locals on my ship?"

Janet frowned. "Oh come on! You can't see the solution already?" She frowned, looking to an empty space beside her. "I know he's a thick skulled nitwit but… oh hhehhehehe thats funny." She returned her focus to General Randall. "The hallucinogenic flamingo has pointed out that you haven't tried asking them if they want to return home or not."

"But-"

"The President has declared you ask them!"

General Randall shrugged, walking away. Janet Marlowe was known to be an exceptionally odd woman. She had many unusual habits and mannerisms and every month or so she was drawn out into the open while her mind was still clouded.

And yet somehow she managed to do her job almost flawlessly. She could take on the mentality of a general, of a politician, of a lawyer, of…. just about anything. Even when in a stupor she somehow managed to control everything.

Nobody had any clue how she did it, but she did. It was probably why she was so popular: not only was she a good President, but she was also a tad crazy and had obvious faults and obsessions. More human.

She was also a bit of a hero from the days before the System was founded.

Randall groaned. The System was going to miss her leadership…

He heard the sound of Janet trip over something behind him. "AUGH! MY BAD!"

Randall decided it was best not to analyze Janet anymore.

 **3 PM**

 _Paperwork._

For some reason, _paperwork,_ was the only sure-fire way to get her mind back on track. It focused her onto the advanced politics of the System and the multiverse, despite the many distracting hallucinogenic animals appearing left and right.

 _Ignore the cute cat… ignore the cute cat… ignore the cute cat….._

She found another piece of paperwork with the owl symbol on it. She frowned, examining it closely. "Something's up." She muttered, suddenly able to think completely clearly.

She stood up, looking around cautiously. Her office was empty. She had to give a speech on Qi in half an hour about some unimportant financial plan.

Someone was going to try something weren't they?

She smirked. She grabbed the piece of owl paper and walked to Kayz. "Hey Kayz."

"What?"

"Someone's trying to pull something." She said, holding up the parchment. "This is the second time I've been given something like this to sign."

Kayz frowned. "Cancel the speech?"

"Much as I would like to, I think we can use the speech to catch them." Janet said, looking closely at the parchment. "They want me to sign this. I say I do."

Kayz lit up. "Oh… this is going to be good…"

 **4 PM**

Janet wrapped up the speech with a grand smile, and the audience erupted into applause.

Of course there were the dozen or so who were booing and magically generating fruit to throw at her, but that was a hazard that came with her position.

She walked off the podium and down into the audience, shaking a few hands and answering a few reporter's questions.

"Marlowe! Are you excited for the signing?"

"Yes of course, it is a monumental event and likely will be my last major act as President."

"Marlowe! What do you plan to do after your presidency ends?"

"Not sure. Vacation around a bit perhaps. Go on adventures. _Not_ paperwork that's for sure."

Several nearby people chuckled.

"Marlowe! What do you say to your opponents?"

"I'll be out of office in a few months people, you won't have to deal with me much longer!"

"Marlowe! What is your thought on owls?"

Marlowe stopped, something clicking in her mind. "They are a graceful bird the likes of which the moon would request." She blinked. "Huh."

The next few moments were a blur...

 **5 PM**

An owl was staring her in the face.

"She's still disoriented."

"As is to be expected." The owl said. "As soon as she's fully aware we will begin the conditioning." The owl hooted.

"She's not going to be happy…"

"She signed the contract. She will not harm us."

"Huh…"

Everything went blurry.

 **6 PM**

Janet fully awoke, staring at the owl. "Well hi there. Can you direct me to the nearest birdcage? I have the sudden need to imprison a certain bird I know." Janet glared.

"You certainly do have an… odd sense of humor."

"What humor? I really do need a birdcage right now. I hear they're really festive and quite useful."

"I suppose you want to know why you're here…"

"I _want_ a _birdcage."_

The owl groaned. "I am Karpa, an owl infused with the spirit of a Phasian. Horrible factory accident and such."

"Did it involve a birdcage?"

"No it did _not_." Karpa said, losing patience. "You are here to listen to us and do as we say."

"I will be open for negotiation for a birdcage."

Karpa ignored this. "We only have one request. Change your mind and go for the fourth term. Even if it is against the Constitution, the people will back you. We need you to run once more, the other candidates are all garbage and will run the System into the ground."

"So…. I don't get a birdcage?"

"YOU INSUFFRABLE-" Karpa glared, calming down. "You're playing me. Hoping to infuriate me."

"No, I honestly do want a birdcage."

"You signed the paper. You are mine for an entire day. If you will not change your mind on your own, we will alter your mind."

"My birdcage desires are too well ingrained in my personality."

Karpa shuddered. "You are a clever one. But even your Presidential spells will be of no help against an X-crystal mind probe." Karpa held up a small black crystal.

"That's not a birdcage. I want my birdcage."

"WOULD YOU SHUT IT?"

"Birdcage. _Birdcage…_ BIRDCAGE. e…. birdcagebirdcage."

"RRRAGH!" Karpa said, throwing the crystal to the ground, shattering it. "WHAT IS WITH- Oh." He said, looking at the shattered device on the floor. "Clever girl."

"Well that went better than expected." Janet muttered, standing up and dusting herself off. She then punched Karpa across the room. "I want my birdcage now."

"How are you harming me? You were under the influence of the contract!" Karpa yelled, flapping above her.

Janet smiled. A delayed dispel spell had been cast on her a few hours ago. It really was clever. "The intensity of my desire for a birdcage broke the contract."

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"Oh. Then there's no way a birdcage is just going to appear around you right now due to my intense desire?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

And with that a birdcage appeared around Karpa, imprisoning him. Janet grinned. "I love being the chessmaster… All your followers have likely been arrested for an hour now. Congradulations space owl."

"Space owl? What are you talking about?"

Janet frowned.

Great. She'd missed something.

She threw the "generate birdcage" button hidden in her dress at the owl. "Enjoy the manifestation of my birdcage desires."

Karpa groaned, faceplanting into the floor of the birdcage.

 **7 PM**

Janet sat in the lounge of her ship, reading a book. They had found a dozen or so books by this Iris Drake on a long forgotten planet. They were rather interesting adventure stories.

The lounge was abandoned except for the Crystali that ran the entire room, the ten-foot tall crystal being probably surfing the internet while it checked on her every few minutes.

She flipped a page, taking a moment to look out the window at space.

She saw the space owl fly by in a split second.

Janet frowned. Time to do something about this.

 **8 PM**

Janet grinned, looking at an entire hour of hard work. The ship was now laced top to bottom in traps. There were a few serial magic entrapments, a thaumic entangler, several stun machine guns, a net of electricity, several bear traps, a bunch of space-sharks, and a noose.

She grinned. This was going to be interesting.

 **9 PM**

Janet was very displeased.

"Why did you get caught in the _noose?_ Why? Why couldn't you be more interesting? I mean, I spent an entire hour compiling traps for you-"

The space owl growled from his position in the rope. "I am an ancient being of exposition from the land of Hyrule, and I was simply observing you. And- CAN YOU QUIT RANTING?"

"-and there was this entire fun trap with a fish and a salad! Why couldn't you have been caught in _THAT ONE?_ Seriously, just… just why weren't you more interesting? There was even a trap with _another owl! SERIOUS-"_

"What is your deal woman? Hello? Are you even paying attention?

"You're an owl of talking a lot from that magical land with lots of races and the triforce."

The owl of exposition blinked. "What? How?"

"You heard me."

The owl twitched. "Anyway I was-"

"Watching me like a stalker creep to determine if I was useful to you in any way, was an enemy, an ally, a friend, or a chummy moron?"

The owl blinked. "What the-?"

"Also I'd appreciate it if you'd stop spying on me I can set up a meeting you know. We can talk. Get to know each other. Have some fun. But _seriously_ why couldn't you be caught in a more entertaining fashion?"

The owl stared, slackjawed. "How can you treat this like a minor annoyance? This is-"

"-my daily life." Janet muttered. "Now you can come back in a week or so when I'm in a better mood but for now get lost. Unless you want to go into the fish trap."

The space owl simply left.

Janet smiled. Thad had actually been a little fun.

 **10 PM**

 _Dear Miranda…_

 _Today was a normal day except there were owls involved this time._

 _Your sister, President Janet Marlowe._

 **11 PM**

Janet stayed up unreasonably late only to fail at pipe 99 once more.

 **12 AM**

Sleep.

[][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

MDQHW'V OLIH LV VR XQXVXDO WKDW QRUPDO WKLQJV IUHDN KHU RXW D OLWWOH ELW.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **GM:**

 **I bet you thought that was nice and fun didn't you?**

 **I bet you thought everything was nice and happy?**

 **Well, you were right.**

 **This is because things are about to go down. The four-part finale will begin. MUAHAHHAHAHHAHA**

 **The finale is complete, but we want it all to be revised before publishing any part of it. So you may or may not get an update friday.**

 ***meteor shower***

 **this is not getting me any cleaner.**


	29. January 28: Insurrection

**AN:**

 **FB: WOO FINALE DAY ONE! Prepare yourself for epic cliff-hangers every chapter. :D**

 **TD: Cromians! Magic! TARDIS! OH MY SO MUCH AMAZE!**

 **GM: HAPPY NEW YEAR! WELCOME! GOOD MORNING! 12:0something or other MT! WOOT! I am tired, lost, and a bit stupefied. HAHAHAHHAH. WHEEEEEE FAHN. I** _ **think**_ **I've revised this well enough at this point… but whatever. But hey, HAPPY 2016 EVERYBODY! (what follows was the original AN of GM which was written a few days ago)**

 **Well. At long last. We have arrived. The end of January is upon us. The future is coming for us all dudes. You will see familiar faces come together, to face a crisis the likes of which the galaxy has never seen. At long last, we reach the climax of the Fleet's plot. The end is coming soon.**

 **Of course this is just the Finale of January. More will come.**

Saturday, January 28: Insurrection

 **~:DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY:~**

Darth Vader awoke, groggy. He blinked. Staring down at him were the faces of his son, his daughter, and his apprentice.

"He's waking up." Luke said, smiling.

Ahsoka waved her hand in front of Vader's face. "Wakey wakey…"

Leia just frowned.

Darth Vader stood up, holding his hand to his head. "Ugh…" He groaned, trying to stand up. His weak legs didn't listen to a thing his mind was telling them.

"Woah woah… take it easy dad…"

Darth Vader muttered. "I am perfectly capable of standing up." Vader pumped serious mental strain into his legs, standing up, before falling back down onto the bed. "Gah. Stupid legs."

"You need to get used to it…" Ahsoka said, helping Vader back up. "After all, you've been living a very different life for a long time."

"Don't I know it…" Vader said, looking at his hands.

His _hands._

He hadn't actually seen them in…well a long time.

And it had been even longer since they'd looked... _normal._

The holographic Doctor of Voyager walked over. "You are welcome mister Skywalker. Reconstruction surgery is not the easiest thing to accomplish. You may experience the loss of a few recent memories, but they'll probably return with time. The Emperor really had your brain in a technology death grip. Here." He said, handing the newly restored dark lord a mirror.

His _face._

It had been eons since he'd seen that face.

Vader simply stared, a smile coming to his face. Then he began to laugh, laugh years of pent up emotion out of his system. He collapsed to the ground laughing more, tears streaming out. Ahsoka and Luke ran to comfort him as he let out years of turmoil, slavery, and the dark side of the Force.

At long last… it was over.

He was free again.

He was Anakin Skywalker.

He stood up. "Thanks." He said, turning to everyone. "I thank you for trying so hard to get me back."

Luke smiled. "I always look for the best."

Ahsoka nodded as well. "And I know full well what the dark side can do… To be under its influence for so long…" It hadn't taken that long to explain to Ahsoka what exactly Anakin had been through, and she quickly turned to his side. "We can set things right."

Leia said nothing, simply frowning.

Anakin frowned. "Setting things right…" He looked to the side, where his red lightsaber stood. He reached for it with the force. "This thing… This thing will go."

"It will not, no." The diminutive figure of Yoda said. "Keep it, you will."

Anakin stared at Yoda. "Why? Why should I keep the weapon that slaughtered hundreds? Why should I keep the corruption of the dark side?"

"Balance, you represent." Yoda answered. "Both sides, you will use." Yoda said, handing Anakin another lightsaber. The once sith lord activated it, a blue beam appearing before him. He activated the red one beside it, holding one in each hand. He looked between the two blades.

"I am destined to bring balance…" He said, staring between the two blades.

"Satisfied with both sides, you were not. Find the balance, you will." Yoda smiled. "The prophecy is coming to fruition, at long last."

Ahsoka pouted. "Great. Now I'm not the only one with the dual blade style…"

"Kara uses two gunblades." Luke observed.

"Not the same."

Anakin gripped his two sabres. "I'm scheduled to be back with the Emperor in two days. He is _not_ going to be happy about this… he used that suit to keep control of me. Now that I don't need it.. He'll feel threatened."

"He should feel threatened." Leia said, speaking for the first time. "You have betrayed him."

"He doesn't know that yet. I hope." Anakin responded.

Leia frowned. She wasn't ready for this. Not yet.

"Now…" Anakin said, turning. "I believe I am going to spend the next few hours regaining my strength. Then I'll teach your jedi in training some skills."

"You won't be ready in a few hours!" Luke protested.

"Watch me." Anakin said, smirking. He paused, noticing how alien that movement of his mouth felt. He turned to look at everyone once more. "I thank you all. You have redeemed the unredeemable. The slayer of millions has returned from his dark path."

"Return, you have not. Finding balance, you are on the road to."

"Even after all these years I still can't understand a word that you say."

That resulted in a good hearty laugh from Luke and a giggle from Ahsoka. Anakin frowned, looking at his daughter. He would have to talk to her later.

He walked out, ready to rejuvenate. He could feel the dark age of the Force fading. He knew it would end soon.

Though if that were true, why did he also have a sense of impending doom...

[][]][][][][][][][][][][]

VWRRRRAP VWRRRRAP VWRRRRAP. And with that, a blue phone box appeared inside the Central Tower of the Metropolis. The tenth Doctor stepped out, adjusting his coat. "Well this is interesting!" He said, grinning. "I've never been here before… I wonder why. Seems very peculiar." He walked around, poking his nose around. The planet seemed to be predominantly human, though he saw a few oddities. The Vulcans were rather surprising, and he saw a Betazoid or two hanging around.

He flagged down a man. "Hello there!" He said, flashing his psychic paper. "May I ask a few questions?"

"Of course inspector!" The rather enthusiastic man said, smiling. "Anything you need!"

"Right. So let's just pretend like I'm an utter and complete moron okay?"

"Um… why?"

"Preliminary questions to see if you're ready for the real ones."

"Um… okay?" The man said, becoming somewhat baffled.

The Doctor grinned. "What planet is this?"

"Terra?"

"Ah. Boring name. Totally uninteresting and bothersome. What city is this?"

"Only city on the planet… Metropolis… Are you one of those people from the Empire?"

"Yes yes of course... "

"How could you become an inspector then?"

"Well I uh…" The Doctor blinked. Oops. "You know how things are, we've been here for a while-"

"Only a few weeks…" The man said, suddenly suspicious. "Who are you?"

"Uh… a secret inspector?"

The man looked skeptical.

"Yeah you aren't buying this at all. Shame." The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver. "I'm warning you to let me go or else-!"

The man blinked.

"You're not buying this either are you?"

"Nope."

"Blast." The Doctor paused. "Well then I'm an alien visitor from a far away planet. Take me to your leader."

The man rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. That's a good one."

"I'm serious! I travel around in a big blue box exploring the stars and- and this sounds like more gibberish to you."

"Yep."

"Meh. Fine take me wherever. I'm still curious about this place. Like why I've never heard of an advanced civilization within these uncharted territories in this timeframe..."

"I'm not answering any more of your questions." The man said, pulling out his phone. "Yeah security? Got a crazy man here pretending to be an inspector. … What do you mean you don't know what an inspector is? Just get someone over here." The man looked at the Doctor. "Why aren't you running away?"

"Step one in learning about a place: get captured."

"Huh. Maybe you are an alien."

"Yep. Now what are we going to do while we wait for them to get here?"

"Checkers?"

"Sure."

[][][]][][][]][][]][]][]

"Everyone!" Lightning walked into a room in the middle of a random meeting, "The Normandy and company should be arriving sometime today! PREPARE YOURSELVES!" She yelled, frowning as all the people just stared at her. "Oh come on! REMEMBER PEOPLE! Normandy? The Cromians? Hoseki? Dimensional Alliance? Anyone?" Lightning threw her hands into the air in exasperation.

"I remember, Lightning." Spock said, looking up from his papers, "Gather a group and we'll go meet them."

"If Spock's going, I'm going!" Rainbow Dash stood up on her chair, forgetting that it wasn't like the chairs in Equestria, resulting in her faceplant. "I'm fine!" She shook her mane and started flying, her burn mark visible for a few moments.

"I'll come!" A few random Terrans in the room said.

"Which ship should we take?" Lightning asked.

"The _Defiant_! It has some weapons, warp drive, and _cool stuff_!" Rainbow Dash said, grinning.

"Ask Worf first. He is not going to just let you _take_ his ship…" Spock warned.

 **LATER...**

Worf slightly inclined his head. It _might_ have been a nod.

"Thanks." Rainbow Dash said, rushing past Worf into the ship. The rest of the group trampled him.

"Umph." Worf muttered from his position on the floor.

 **EVEN LATER…**

"Jump into hyperspace, and head to the coordinates Lightning's database provided." Captain Worf said from the bridge of the _Defiant_.

The ship jumped into warp shortly thereafter, and they were off! A few minutes later, they arrived at the coordinates.

"Lightning, Spock, and Rainbow Dash, come to the bridge, we have arrived." Captain Worf said on the com.

"We never left the bridge."

Worf blinked. "Then stay put." He said, deadpan.

Spock just shrugged.

[][][]][][][]][][]][]][]

After they finished their hyperspace jump, Gim'ran clutched his armrests in anticipation. "On screen." he said. _This had better be our galaxy, or else._

"Aye sir." random Cromian #75 answered as he pulled up a starchat of the surrounding star systems.

Gim'ran blinked. This was not the Cromian galaxy, but he had to be sure, "Cross check with a Cromark star chart." he growled.

"No matches sir."

"Well then, send a message to commander Shepa'ard to have him meet us on the Oxlya for a little chat with commander Ethyr" A very large hint of annoyance in his voice.

 **A few minutes later…**

"WHERE THE HECK IS MY GALAXY!?" Gim'ran raged at Ethyr.

"Likely in another universe entirely, Gim'ran."

"Well then. WHERE. IS. IT?" Gim'ran yelled again.

"Given the star charts you gave us? Right were this patch of nothing is in this universe."

"You have technology capable of jumping dimensions yes?" Gim'ran accused

"Yes. We're performing the calculations now. We have to take your ships with us, so it isn't instant."

"So… how long will that take?" He said suddenly calm and collected.

"Fifteen minutes to half an hour, unless something comes up. Like, oh, someone contacts us or something."

"Seems reasonable. Something better not come up or-"

A low-ranking Hoseki officer ran up. "We're being hailed."

Shepard ran out of the room quickly.

Gim'ran looked at the officer. "Is that so?" he said, rage in his eyes.

"Uh…" the officer shivered, "yes sir?" He backed away quickly in fear, his arms up protecting himself.

Gim'ran held up a hand, used a telekinetic flip to pin the officer on the ceiling, promptly forgetting about him, then taking the data pad and handing it to Ethyr. "Answer the stupid hail."

Shepard slowly walked back into the room, ready to bolt at a moment's notice, but then he saw the officer on the ceiling. _Gim'ran certainly didn't go as far as I thought..._

The transmission came in. "***ell***** **** *************o this is com**** Thi*** Connection****** RAINBOW GET OFF THE CONTROL PANEL. **************** Hi…" The face of an old, pointy eared humanoid greeted them. "I am Ambassador Spock, and I welcome you to the galaxy. We have been expecting you."

"Expecting us?" Ethyr said, squinting. She instantly didn't trust this man.

"Yes we were told by a friend of yours… come on up."

Spock's face left the screen and then a familiar face showed up.

Shepard's jaw dropped. "LIGHTING?"

Gim'ran gaped as well, subconsciously forgetting to keep his spell in place as the officer fell from the ceiling and crashed onto Ethyr. Shepard watched this, and then chuckled at the officer's and Ethyr's little predicament.

"Hi there Commander, long time no see." Lightning said smirking.

Shepard smiled. "So, lemme guess, your long search to get yourself home brought you back _here?_ Quite a long way around trip don't you think?"

"Yeah yeah…" Lightning said, rolling her eye. "Come. I've got an entire planet ready to welcome you and your Hoseki friends."

Gim'ran simply glared at the screen more intensely. Lightning noticed she was ticking him off..

"er… and Gim'ran too. Yeah. They want to meet him too. Very important." she said quickly

Gim'ran simply stared at the screen skeptically. "This reminds me of talking with Verona..." He muttered under his breath "darn politics..."

Lightning smiled at them all. "Well, anyway, welcome Shepard. It's good to see you."

"You as well." Shepard noticed her eyepatch. "What… happened to you?"

"Long story. Come to Terra, we can talk there."

Shepard turned to Gim'ran and Ethyr. "Sound good everyone?"

"I suppose… this better not impede calculations." Gim'ran growled.

"It will." Ethyr said. "But I think it's definitely worth investigating for a few hours."

The officer got thrown to the ceiling again, this time breaking his nose. "Oh." Gim'ran said, literally steaming. "I'll be on my ship firing some subordinates." He left, a few seconds later shouting as many expletives as he could think of in his enraged mental state.

Gim'ran was _not_ a patient man.

Lightning blinked. "Just as festive as I remember."

"You knew him for all of a few hours." Shepard observed.

"Exactly." Lightning said. "Anyway, follow us to Terra. We may have some problems but everyone's interested to see you."

Then Gim'ran walked out of spell range and the officer fell back on top of Ethyr.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So…" Lightning said, looking at the people sitting around the table in the middle of the Central Tower. "This is quite the reunion." Shepard, Wrex, Tali, Gim'ran and a few other Cromians, Ethyr, Lampkin and Spock were all sitting at the table.

"That it is. What are the pnals?" Gim'ran questioned.

Shepard blinked. "What are pnals?"

"Er… They're pnals. Ya know… um... Darn untranslatable words..."

"Try describing it in another way." Spock suggested.

Gim'ran thought for a moment, "They're like gescin only more thought out."

"Gescin? Are you just making words up on the spot?" Ethyr accused Gim'ran.

Gim'ran. Face. Table. In no particular order occurred.

"I believe I am right then?" Ethyr tilted her head to the right.

"All of you just quit it." Wrex muttered, obviously not in the mood. "Lightning, why are you here and what's going on in this galaxy?"

Lightning put a more serious face on. "I was abducted by a cute ghost bent on world domination and came back here to look for Serah and tell the people here about their departed captain."

Silence fell.

"Who?" Ethyr broke the silence with an oddly apropos question.

Somewhere less than a mile away, the Doctor felt his dignity get insulted. Though it felt odd, so it probably was out of sync with time.

Somewhere really really far away the eleventh Doctor had a heart attack.

Elsewhere, the thought "pudding" resonated. For some reason.

Deadpool interrupted the flow of narrative to stop this insanity. "ENOUGH WITH THE DOCTOR'S SUFFERING. There's a story to be told here nitwits!"

Lightning sighed. "How I came here isn't really important. What you should know is that a race known as the Replicators are infesting this galaxy, slowly eating it away. They were recorded in the Hoseki database as a major threat."

"I read about those." Shepard commented. "They are pieces of work…"

Tali got excited. "The technology they use is amazing! Self-replicating machines is an impressive feat! It's an astounding feat of technology!"

"And a very deadly one…" Ethyr said, shaking her head at Tali's praise of the Replicators. "We are aware of their… capabilities. I think our scientists were working on weapons against them last I knew."

"We already had weapons like that, but then they became ineffective after the Replicators adapted." Lampkin said.

"I am feeling very much left out. what are Repli'ators?" Gim'ran interupted.

"Bugs." Lightning said. "Mechanical bugs that become immune to every pesticide you throw at them within a few minutes. And they keep multiplying."

"Would you prefer the sciency part of that, or just leave it to the easy to understand version?" Ethyr asked.

"Don't make me drop another officer on you."

"You wouldn't dare." Ethyr glanced up, ready to punch any falling officers.

Gim'ran let out a chuckle.

Lampkin let out a sigh of annoyance. "Quit your bickering. We Have. Things to do. Places to go. Things to accomplish. What are we going to do here?"

"I say we stay for a few days." Shepard responded. "Seeing what we can do to help. I owe Lightning a lot, and the Replicators are our enemy as well."

"I believe we were already doing to do that." Wrex said, finally inputting something into the conversation. "I mean, did anyone really expect us just to say hi and get going?"

"Well… we're stuck here unless _someone_ fixes the darn calculation to the dim drive." Gim'ran growled.

"Calculations are complete." Ethyr said. "But we aren't going anywhere until this is resolved. We don't want to keep running back here. And the more universes we enter, the more problems we will come across. It's just the way things are.

"Grr…. on one condition I will not blow you up in a million varied ways… I **will** get to blow up lots of Replicators."

"That'll be difficult…" Lampkin said. "They tend to learn very _very_ quickly. The only sure-fire way to deal with them is to hit them really, really hard. Preferably with something big.

"I have big. And I haven't come across something that can withstand a bullet that goes thousands of times the speed of light."

"That… would probably work…" Lightning said. "But there's a lot of them. They like to come in force and repair themselves."

"So we've got to take them out as quickly as possible with as much force as possible." Gim'ran concluded.

"Yep." Lightning said.

Lampkin leaned forward. "We are also working closely with a despotic Empire to find an ancient device that can hopefully rid the galaxy of Replicators. To be honest this is kind of plan B, but since plan A has so little chance of succeeding we're putting a lot of resources into it."

"Wouldn't plan A have a better chance of success if you put all resources into it? Or vise versa with plan B?" Gim'ran questioned.

Lightning snorted. "Plan A is to hope they somehow stop adapting to our weapons. It's kinda hopeless as it is."

Ethyr frowned. "There must be other plans…"

"There were." Lampkin said. "The one successful one no longer works. They became resistant."

"Yes… but now you have a better chance because of the advantages my ship and the Hoseki's give us."

Ethyr smiled. "We do have some… _unique_ weapons."

Lightning nodded. "Perhaps there is hope now. Anyway, let's bring you up to speed on the boring politics that nobody wants to hear…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lampkin stepped into the room Anders was in.

" _He_ is coming." Anders said, falling silent for a moment.

"I know this already. WHO though?" Lampkin questioned. "What is the big threat here?"

"Conversion is coming. Everything will happen. The stargate will open, bringing the one outside time. Slaughter will come, the Countermeasure will fall. The Entity of Spacetime will face his own defeat. End of line." Anders stared right into Lampkin's eyes. "Anakin must not fall."

"What?"

"Anakin must not fall."

"Why? Why not?"

"Anakin must not fall."

"Oh you're useless."

"Anakin must not fall. Anakin must not fall. Anakin must not fall. I AM ERROR! ANAKIN MUST NOT FALL! DO NOT LET HER- end of line."

Lampkin slowly backed away. That. That was creepy.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"You know you should just go talk to her." Lightning observed.

"I thought that at first. Then I realized she doesn't want to talk to me." Anakin retorted.

"She _is_ your daughter."

"And I blew up her planet."

Lightning paused. "That is a pretty hard rock to climb over…"

Anakin nodded. "I'm not sure I ever should be allowed back."

"Your apprentice and your son accepted you." Lightning observed. "Heck, even I did. Sorta."

"My apprentice has experienced the pull of the dark side personally, she knows what it's like. And Luke… Luke is a bit naive and way too trusting"

Lightning frowned. "I suppose. But you have to admit he is good at what he does."

"Which is?"

"Be rather trusting and naive but still be a good leader and hero."

Anakin chuckled. "Good leader and hero. That could describe you."

Lightning stared ahead, a blank look in her face. "A leader and a hero… I was once. I saved the world. But I lost so many."

"Sacrifice…" Anakin sighed. "I've gotten used to it over the years. It feels… unusual to feel something about it again. I wonder how much of me was changed by the dark side… by the Emperor…"

Lightning frowned. "I don't know. I didn't know you before you were Darth Vader like Ahsoka. But, I know who you are now. And it is much different from the man who killed millions. Just like the people of Terra in the mob, you weren't fully in control."

"What caused them to do that anyway?"

"Nobody knows for sure. It started with Baltar's cult, but it seemed to spread like wildfire."

Anakin frowned, deeply concerned. "Not even the dark side of the Force is able to spread that quickly… Something sinister lies beneath us."

Then a sound that could only be described as scissors cutting through the fabric of reality interrupted them. A young girl's voice cheered from the other side. "There you are!"

Then Serah was dumped onto the floor, and the portal closed behind her. She stood up. "That girl… That girl is crazy." She blinked, looking around. She saw a strange man she didn't recognize and-

"LIGHTNING?" Serah gaped, staring.

"SERAH?" Lightning stared, gaping.

The two sisters stared into each other's eyes, motionless for a moment.

Then Serah ran forward, tackle hugging her older sister. "Ack! Serah! I need to breathe!"

"I've been looking all over for you!"

"I know! So have I! Dying from hugs here!"

Anakin laughed, smiling. "Hello Serah."

"Um… Hello." Serah said. "Who is this Lightning?"

"Anakin Skywalker. He's been through a hard time lately- NO he does not need a hug too."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"WHAT? NO!"

Serah giggled. "Oh really?"

"I do _not_ have a boyfriend! Seriously Serah!"

Serah rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah- oh my gosh what happened to your eye?"

"Psychotic puppet in a house of creepy stuff." Lightning said. "Things have been weird."

"Tell me about it…" Serah muttered.

Then Lightning remembered something. "Serah. I have to know. Are you planning on doing anything crazy?"

Serah tensed. "What? No why?"

"I've been told that I have to stop you from doing something… I don't know what." Lightning sighed. "Something you try to do can cause catastrophe."

"Really?" Serah said, trying to sound ignorant. "I… I wouldn't know…"

Lightning frowned. "Just… come to me if you think of anything okay? I don't want something to come between us after we've been apart for so long…"

Serah nodded. "Of course!" She smiled. "Aren't you going to tell me what happened to you?"  
"Well see I ended up in the middle of a conflict and starting blowing magic everywhere, and then a man known as commander Shepard saw me…"

Anakin smiled as the two sisters walked off, chatting away. He'd had a hard time believing Lightning knew _how_ to chatter, but he supposed that a sibling bond was strong enough to bring out the best in people.

A sibling bond…

Perhaps he should talk to Luke first…

Then he frowned further. He couldn't quite place it, but he felt like he remembered Serah from somewhere…

Anakin had to hold that thought when he saw a man in a brown trenchcoat being dragged into the Central Tower.

"Okay okay no need to be grumpy about it!" The man shouted.

"We're only shoving because you wouldn't move."

"I was admiring the architecture!"

"For five minutes?"

"Why yes!"

The security guard rolled his eyes. "Yeah. You are a nutjob."

"Who is this?" Anakin asked, walking up.

"Some guy pretending to be some inspector of some sort. Disturbing the peace."

"Hello there! I'm the Doctor!" He said, grinning, shaking Anakin's hand. "Who're you?"

"Anakin Skywalker." Anakin said, happy he could give his new name.

However, it triggered a response in the Doctor. His face clouded. "How… that's impossibly you are… no… there's no way…"

"What?" Anakin asked.

"You… in the correct timeline you became Darth Vader…" The Doctor backed away. "And if I'm not mistaken should be dead already… Who _are_ you? _How_ are you?"

Anakin frowned. "I know not how you know that secret, but that is behind me. I was taken away from the dark side of the Force. I was redeemed."

"I have no doubt about that and I congratulate you on a successful heel-face turn." The Doctor said while in deep thought. "What I'm worried about is what kind of alterations this will cause the timeline… Hopefully not too much..."

Somewhere far, far away the eleventh Doctor laughed a bitter laugh.

Anakin asked the rather obvious question. "You're a time traveller aren't you?"

"Yes guilty as charged." The Doctor said, grinning, all worry gone from his face in an instant. "Doing a bit of exploring you might say. Found this place, was curious why I'd never heard of it."

Anakin shrugged. "I'd never heard about this place until a week or so ago, so I'm in the same boat."

The Doctor nodded "Yes yes… Oh am I still supposed to be going to a holding cell?"

Anakin shook his head. "Though I have a feeling some people are going to have a lot of questions to ask you."

"Oh questions. How… fun."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty'al punched a console. She was on the bridge of the Bern, doing her "commanding duties." Which composed of a whole lot of standing around doing nothing. She cursed to herself.

She had tried, time and time again, to contact her other selves on the surface. But they must've moved their location from what she remembered when she arrived. Stupid stupid….

She had to warn them. Even though her knowledge of the future was now a bit skewed, she knew that Hera's plans were still occurring. She had to stop her. Ty'al growled. But she couldn't go down to the surface without a set of guards and she no longer knew how to contact her other selves.

They really, really needed to think of a contingency plan for time travel.

Wait…

She could wait for the temporal displacement signature. If memory served, he'd be showing up sometime tomorrow…

A bit of a close shave for her comfort, but it'd have to do.

She sat down in her big comfy chair and set the ship to scan. Then she waited. She ordered some coffee.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ma'al cracked his knuckles. "So, we will begin the operation within the hour. Is everything in place?"

"Yes." Caprica responded. "The teams are ready to spread the force of God out to everyone."

"Good." Ma'al said, giving Mi'al a knowing look. "The alien scum shall be purged. Control will be ours."

Spirit Caprica smiled at everyone. "Today, we triumph in the name of God. This world shall be his. When the being known as Q interfered with the destiny of your people, he made it so you would never reach what you were meant to be, but rather infused with corruption from all sides. Today, we right that wrong, setting ourselves on a new path, a new destiny. The time has come!"

"The time has come!" Everyone else echoed.

Caprica set a timer. 60:00

59:59

59:58

Ma'al, Ty'al, and Mi'al left the room together, and began talking amongst themselves.

"Are _our_ plans in place?" Ma'al asked Ty'al.

"Yes. Ko'al is confident she can take on the Spirits when the time comes. And we have received word that we have a new sister coming to us."

"Oh? What's she called?" Mi'al asked, hair flipping around.

"Py'al."

"Hrm… Pie…"

"Just because you are really really fast doesn't mean you have to get distracted so easily."

"I'm not easily distrac- OO SHINY!"

Ty'al facepalmed. "Hokaythen… We must stand firm brother and sister. Now… what about the unknown?"

"The ships or the girl?" Ma'al responded.

"The girl. Hera." Ty'al frowned. "She has some power, but we do not know the full extent of it. There is a risk there…"

"Which is why all of us will be present."

"Of course." Ma'al stared at the horizon. "This world will become ours, and we will use it to spread ourselves throughout the universe."

Ty'al grinned. "And of course there is no danger to us whatsoever. I absolutely love this resurrection technology."

The others nodded, grinning to each other.

They didn't suspect anything else.

After all, "God" didn't actually _exist._ That would be silly.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Oh. Hey Doctor."

"Ah Rainbow Dash!" The Doctor said, grinning. "What a wonderful surprise! How have you been?" The two greeted each other like old pals, to Anakin's surprise.

"Wait. You _know_ each other?"

"Of course!" Rainbow Dash said, hovering above them. "In my travels-"

"-which are _much_ less extensive than mine-" The Doctor interjected.

Rainbow Dash glared. "I came across him a few times. Nice guy. Goes around saving things."

"You give me too much credit."

"You don't give yourself enough, Doctor." Rainbow Dash grinned.

"The same could be said of you. _Now!"_ The Doctor said, whirling around. "What is going on around here?"

"Well I'm a jedi now, Anakin here is a nice guy, we've got a new civilization that came from nowhere, and I'm best buds with an Ambassador Spock!" She grinned. "Oh, and Applejack's decided to stay here a while and farm, keep a friend of hers, Lightning, company."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "Applejack and Lightning are here?"

"Who's askin'?" the unmistakable country voice of a certain mare entered the Doctor's perception. He turned around to see the two in question (and Serah) walking towards him.

"Ah Applejack! Lightning! It's so good to see you!"

"Ah Doc!" Applejack said, lightning up. "How you faring?"

"Oh Spooky's was a few years ago nothing to worry about. All recovered. Though I do have you to thank for it."

"Twas nothin' Doc."

The Doctor turned to Lightning. "And how have you been? Found your sister yet?"

"Actually yes." Lightning said, stepping aside to reveal Serah. Serah waved before leaning into Lightning's ear and whispering "Who's this guy?"

"The Doctor. A weird time-travelling alien."

"Is _he_ your boyfriend?"

"Will you drop that?"

"No."

Lightning rolled her eye. "So Doctor, have you found out what happened to any of the others?"

The Doctor frowned. "Haven't seen Spooky anywhere. Left Springtrap to rot in his restaurant. Mulder and Wendy got out and went home last I saw them. And now I found you two. So that's everyone who survived."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Wait. This guy was with you in that creepy house?"

"Eeyup." Applejack affirmed. "He was mighty helpful as well. Knew a lot of thingawhatsis. Though I did have to save him from a mind creature first."

Everyone shuddered at the memory of Specimen 7.

"Hey... " Lightning asked, something coming to her. "Do you happen to know where Cocoon would be?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I've never been to such a place. I'm so sorry, I can't take you home."

Serah visibly saddened and Lightning sighed. "It's okay. We know which galaxy it's in. I suppose you can take us to Earth then."

"Oh I have no problem at all doing that!" The Doctor said, grinning. "Come, My Tardis is a few floors down."

Lightning raised her hands. "I don't mean right now. We know a lot of people here."

"Uh. I don't." Serah commented. "I just showed up a few hours ago."

" _I_ know people here." Lightning responded. "Give us a chance. I also believe Spock and Lampkin aren't going to let you go yet…"

"Indeed." Spock said, walking up. "Doctor, would you have any explanation for why I was ripped from a time that no longer exists?"

The Doctor frowned. "What would you mean?"

"I mean that actions that occurred recently in the timestream have wiped the existence of the Federation completely from history, if Q is telling the truth."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "Wait. Wiped from history? Q? What on earth is going on in this place?"

"Something, Q claims not to know what, wiped out the vast majority of godlike beings. A result of this was to completely rewrite history to where his favorite Federation never existed. He had to reach into the changing timestream to drag the Enterprise, Voyager, Defiant, and Deep Space Nine along with a few other mismatched ships for his amusement. The result is what you see here, the Terrans."

Spock turned. "But he never brought me personally. I was aware of a bright light, a strange feeling, and then I was standing next to Rainbow Dash here in a strange temple several miles from the Metropolis."

"LIVE. LONG. AND. SWAG!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Spock's eyebrow simply twitched.

The Doctor began pacing. "This is a poser indeed… What could cause such a thing…" The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver and began to scan Spock. "No ridiculous readings… You seem to be a normal aged Vulcan displaced from time. What brought you…"

"We were standing in ancient ruins."

The Doctor grinned. "Well then, I say we hop into the Tardis and have a look see don't you?"

A twinkle appeared in Spock's eye. "That sounds like a brilliant idea."

"Well then! Allons-y!"

But they wouldn't have time to make it.

For in that moment, chaos erupted.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Shepard, Wrex, Tali, two Cromians named Jar'err and Sei'lap, Ethyr, and a Hoseki Gari known as Frostfire stood in the Central Tower's lobby.

Jar'err was playing Frostfire a game of checkers. "You cheat."

"I do not."

"Your checkers have ice on them."

"Well, yeah.. I use ice as magic. There is no way I'm cheating." Frostfire stated at Jar'err.

"Well if you can slide your checkers around with ice, I can move your pieces with my mind!" Jar'err said, moving several of Frostfire's pieces into positions he liked.

"You feel like doing that?" Frostfire used telekinesis on the pieces and they moved to a position she liked.

Jar'err grumbled, flipped the board and stomped off across the room. Wrex gave off a hearty laugh. Sei'lap sighed. "You are a disgrace to Cromians everywhere."

"But I'm not a Cromian, so technically I'm not." Frostfire said with a sly smile.

"Are you stupid? I was talking to Jar'err!"

"You want to play then?" She asked, motioning to the board.

"What? No! I will not play a petty Hoseki game!"

Shepard blinked. "I've played checkers on my world before though. How is it a Hoseki game?"

"It's not! The Earth humans have it too!" Frostfire responded.

Tali blinked. "Quarrians have a similar game as well."

"See? NOT HOSEKI. Even though I wouldn't mind if the Hoseki claimed the game as their own."

Sei'lap blinked. "Now I'm more concerned how so many races throughout the cosmos can come up with the same eltram game."

"Eltram?" Shepard, Frostfire, and Tali said at once.

Wrex groaned. "You don't want to know."

Tali blinked. "How do _you_ know?"

"You don't want to know that either."

"I do!" Frostfire said to Wrex.

Wrex mumbled something into Frostfire's ear. She passed out.

"Well that happened." Shepard said.

Then they heard an explosion outside, and the red light flooded through the window. "Huh?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

KABOOM! The first bomb went off, crippling the market. Vulcans calmly collected what wares they could and ran for their lives. Everyone else just panicked. Fire rose up from the market, a few more explosions ringing out from explosive commodities catching fire. The commerce of the Metropolis had been decimated. People ran for their lives, children screamed, and the world burned.

Then the farms were hit. Flash flame explosions after flash flame explosions rippled through the fields. Applejack's trees, which were finally starting to bear fruit after all the hard earth pony magic she had put into them, started to fall, contorting into heaps of ash. The water in the apples screamed as it evaporated, giving the entire field an eerie sound of death.

Next the Federation district of the city was hit, fires burning through Starfleet's ranks. People tried to run, to hide, to grab their families and get away, but the explosions were too well timed. They were enveloped.

Then a bomb went off in the Central Tower, blowing out a major wall. The ginormous building began to shudder and tip over.

"BLIZAJA!" Lightning yelled, solidifying the destroyed section. "PROTECT! SHELL!" She yelled, fortifying the the ice. The Tower creaked and groaned, but stopped its descension. Lightning cast more ice, encasing the outside of the tower in a hefty iced base. She took a deep breath. "That's… a lot of ice…" She muttered.

Spock frowned. "We have been attacked. Who was responsible?"

The Doctor frowned, looking out the window. "I'd say a large chunk of your population…"

The assorted people walked to the window and looked out to see hoards of people streaming from buildings across the Metropolis.

A few floors below them, Jar'err groaned "Greeeat. The first time we find alien life and we end up getting caught up in an intergalactic war AND a civil war. Oh boy. I love my life."

Sei'lep slapped him.

Jar'err just glared at him. Then his balance was rudely upset by another bomb going off somewhere in the Metropolis.

People - enraged people - stormed out of the buildings, mobbing every alien they could find. They seized the offending non human races and began to tear them limb from limb. Sometimes weapons were used, making it quick. Other times it was nothing more than a heavy beating, smashing skulls and slowly killing them. Many fought back, killing many in the mob, but it was no use. The non humans were falling by the dozen.

Then the mob began to bang at the doors of the Central Tower.

Wrex quickly uprooted the reception desk and blockaded the main door with it. Everyone else followed his example, using whatever skills they had to block the gigantic doors beyond just bearing and locking it.

Sie'lep sighed "Well regardless- we need to help out. Crystal gyro defence pattern omega 74 sound good?"

"I'm not doing this to help them. I just don't want to die. So fine." Jar'err said, reluctantly.

"Very good then. I'll take the east side you take the west side" Sei'lep said, conjuring a few dozen invisible magitech walls to start rotating around the base of the tower to keep the mob out.

The mob suddenly found it rather difficult to even get near the Tower. So of course they increased their efforts, ineffective though they were.

The violence didn't stop. It just increased.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lampkin yelled. "What are we going to do?"

"It took a full invasion to snap them out of it last time." Lightning reminded him. "And I could do that level of attack myself, but that would mean a lot of casualties."

"They're more organized this time. I'm willing to bet some of them fully believe in the actions they are carrying out and will continually rally the others…" Lampkin muttered. "I increased security! I had people look out for secret meetings! Why did this still happen? How did they plant those bombs?"

Serah looked out at the burning landscape. The fires _were_ going out in the city, since the buildings themselves weren't flammable, but the smoke remained. "I sense… magic coming from the bombs."

The Doctor blinked. "Magic exists in extremely minor quantities in this universe. How on earth did they get enough to rig an explosion?"

"How should I know?" Serah responded, angry. "I just sensed it."

Lightning frowned. "Calm down Serah."

"...fine."

The Doctor frowned. "Can you jedi do anything?"

Djehuty spoke up. "I do not have mass mind control and I doubt you would want to use it anyway."

Luke shook his head. "None of our powers can effect something on this scale…"

River spoke for the first time. "And Q has tried to change their minds before, failing much to his surprise."

The Doctor stared at River with fear in his eyes. "How… Nevermind how you know that. A Q is an immensely powerful being capable of shaping the fabric of existence itself. If one of _them_ can't change this we have a serious problem…"

"God…" Lampkin muttered.

"What?"

"I was warned that this "God" that the cult serves isn't some abstract construct their minds came up with. It is an actual being."

The Doctor shook his head. "A Q _is_ a godlike being. Nothing in the universe could just stop his influence like that without a heavy and very specifically calculated shield, which I would be able to detect… This shouldn't be possible…" He paced back and forth. "I don't know. This is both troubling and exciting."

Lightning twitched. "What can we do?"

The Doctor grinned. "Amplify a psychic link through the Tardis! That might work!" He turned to the group. "Who's the most powerful psychic here?"

River raised her hand.

"Good. Come with me. The rest of you might as well come too." He ran to his blue box, threw the door open, and walked inside, dragging River.

Lampkin blinked. "It's a blue box. A tiny blue box." He said, staring at the open doors.

"It's bigger on the inside…" Luke said, agape. Everyone stepped in, looking around at the giant room hidden inside a tiny blue box. "How?"

"Spacial dimensions technology." The Doctor muttered. "I've got an entire star in here somewhere. Now, River, stick your hand in this strange console device."

"Okay…" River said, for the first time not sounding sure of anything. "The times… are muddled in here…"

"That's because the Tardis has the potential to change just about anything! Any sort of precognitive abilities will be very, very skewed in here unless you have some kind of super skill…"

"You don't want to go, but the drums will come for you."

The Doctor slowly stood up and turned, staring into River's eyes. "What?"

"I don't know!" River said, fear in her voice.

The Doctor frowned, but shrugged it off. "Everyone ready?"

"Sure…?" Lightning said, skeptical.

"ALLONS-Y!" The Doctor yelled, pulling a lever.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

River's mind was _everywhere._ She felt everyone on the planet. Thier pain. Their sorrow. The grief of a burning city. She would have cried if she was connected to her body. She focused, sending a message of peace and prosperity into the populace of the world. Their inner lights changed, flickering from the red of rage to the blue of calm. The city began to slow, to relax, to feel at peace.

The attacks slowly stopped, people began to wonder what they were doing. Why they were doing it. What was the point? Why all the violence?

Only one mind resisted, a mind River came to know as Hera.

 _Why are you so hateful inside?_ River asked directly.

 _I do not have more or less hate than anyone else._ Hera responded. _I am just your equal._

 _I do not want to force you-_

 _You will have to._

River resigned, attacking Hera full on with the force of herself and the immense power of the Tardis backing her. Hera never stood a chance against the combined power of the two.

However Hera didn't have to face them.

Something _else_ stepped in. A giant sleeping being deep beneath the bowels of Terra, shoved it's mind onto River and the Tardis.

River screamed as the mind tore at her own. She had often thought that her mind was broken enough that it couldn't be shredded. She was wrong. Oh so wrong. She screamed, and she could hear the Tardis screaming as well. The minds of the Tardis and "God" collided, resulting in a space-time ripple echoing across time. Across time and space, minds collided, beings formed and annihilated themselves in a manner of instants.

The Tardis kept backing up it's intelligence in other time states, increasing its power. "God," however, could not be countered. He was an impossible being, a being that should not exist but did. And he did not appreciate a major assault on his mind.

He roared, shaking Terra to its core.

One word echoed through River's mind.

A name.

Ottankdoe.

Ottankdoe.

Ottankdoe.

And with that River retreated to her body, and the Tardis gave up the assault.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"OTTANKDOE! OTTANKDOE! OTTANKDOE!" River screamed, before passing out. Then the Tardis's center console finally gave out, igniting in a pillar of fire.

"Okay everyone _out out out!"_ The Doctor yelled, grabbing River and running out. The Tardis turned on it's anti-fire mechanisms, putting out the flames, but the inside was already a charred husk. The Doctor groaned. "That's going to take a few days for it to repair…" Then fear entered his eyes. "What in the universe could possibly manage to fight the Tardis on a mental front and _win?_ "

Lampkin frowned. "Ottankdoe, apparently."

Odo grunted. "Well if it defeated Q, what did you possibly think your blue box could do?"

The Doctor looked ready to retort, but then paused, realizing he had nothing to say. He simply glared. "We have a problem." He said. "This being, whatever it is, is controlling the minds of many, slaughtering this place. We are up against something of immeasurable power. What I don't know is why this thing wasn't wiped from existence with all the other godlike beings."

A lightbulb went off in Anakin's head. "It's power must be localized only. Nothing like this has ever happened off this planet. Which means…"

The Doctor blinked. "It _isn't_ godlike at all. It's a _localized_ power! All we'd have to do is get everyone off the planet!"

Everyone blinked.

"Okay that's a stupid idea…"

Lampkin stood up. "We will get who we can off. We have ships and troops in orbit. We can coordinate an effort."

The Doctor glared. "I suppose you're just going to kill everyone to save us?"

"Doctor." Lampkin said. "Their rage will eventually turn onto themselves. They will kill each other till the end. We must save who we can."

The Doctor growled. "Fine. Give the stupid order to those ships in orbit. I will not be part of this."

"You don't have to be." Lampkin said, walking over to a terminal. He gave the orders to the ships in orbit.

From the Enterprise Picard sighed. "Order the Cylon Basestars to begin loading off troops. Tell the ships capable of teleportation to beam up any sane people the Cylons save. Make it so."

Cortana nodded, before vanishing in a puff of code.

"What have we done…" Picard said, sagging.

The order would never be carried out, for in that moment, hundreds of Covenant ships leapt out of hyperspace.

"Attention inhabitants of Terra!" The Prophet of Loyalty announced. "Your lives are forefeit. Turn your planet over to us peacefully."

The planet undergoing a civil war was suddenly caught in a religious war.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

XQGHUVWDQGLQJ RI RWWDQNGRH LV LPSRVVLEOH. WKH HOGULWFK DUH EHBRQG DOO VHQWLHQW WKRXJKW.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **FB: This is the first chapter with my own made character Frostfire! WOOOO.. See you next chapter**

 **TD: *engage epic battle music***

 **( •_•)**

 **( •_•)⌐■-■**

 **(⌐■_■)**

 **GM: The meteor is falling. in Four days, it will come. It will come for us all. In four days, I will be impacted like normal.**

 **Until then, I do not get destroyed. I will live through the finale, until the very end. Until the very. End.**

 **I shall survive.**

 ***comet impact***

 **OR NOT. SURE. THAT WORKS TO.**

 **It's a new year. I'm up way too late. Fun…**

 **TD: *Kitten impact***


	30. January 29: Clash

**AN:**

 **FB: SPACE! Gotta go to space! Galaxies, cosmos, big dipper, orion, Jupiter SATURN'S RINGS! ba ba ba BA ba ba buuu SPACE! baaa BAA buu BAA SPACE! GOTTA GO TO SPACE!**

 **GM: ...and the plot deepens.**

Sunday, January 29: Clash

~: **DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY:~**

"This is the Prophet of Loyalty speaking for the entire Covenant. We have captured the Discus of Worlds, the artifact of your salvation. We will use it to rid the galaxy of the Replicator threat on one condition: your complete surrender to the Covenant. We will not use the Discus of Worlds until your Emperor comes to these coordinates, in person, to sign a surrender. Until then, we will hold this position with our fleet, and protect the Discus of Worlds from your heretical grasp."

Lightning punched the console. "Do they _have_ to keep broadcasting that on repeat?"

Lampkin sighed. "Yes. Yes they do. They need to force the Emperor's hand."

Djehuty frowned. "Why hasn't he come already? For that matter, why haven't the Replicators?"

"It's been less than a day." The Doctor observed.

"It's an extremely stupid move." Odo muttered. "The Replicators are bound to pick up the transmission eventually. They should have already. And then they'll come here en masse to destroy the thing that can stop them."

Rainbow Dash muttered. "It was right under our noses the entire time. Who would have thought that we should check out the ruins- _oh wait I thought of that._ "

Spock sighed. "We were interrupted by the Insurrection, Rainbow Dash, in case you forgot."

Lightning stood up. "Speaking of which, I've got to encase the outer wall in more ice. They've started to use ice picks trying to get in…" She knew they could stay in the Tower Bunker in lockdown semi-safely easily enough, but she still liked to have the rest of the tower to use rather than just the cramped basement. She _knew_ it was just a few underground floors of the Tower that were more or less identical to the ones above, but she still felt cramped under the ground.

And Lightning did _not_ like feeling cramped. She wanted to do something.

So she kept an ice wall around the Tower in addition to what those two Cromians were up to. She was trying to learn their wall spell, but it was proving somewhat difficult since they weren't willing to teach her.

She made a quick note of everyone in the tower. Herself, Serah, the ten jedi, the Doctor, Spock, Applejack, Lampkin, the two Cromians, Shepard and his two companions, Frostfire, Ethyr, Anders, Cavil, D'anna, and thirty-seven assorted people who happened to be in the tower at the time.

Well, thirty seven now. They had thrown the ones out that went mad. For some reason everyone left wasn't going murderously insane like everyone outside.

She finished solidifying things, walking back to where everyone was. The Doctor was working on the Tardis, their current escape plan. "How much longer Doctor?"

"A day." The Doctor responded. "Her mental circuits are seriously damaged. Her interior was an easy fix, but it'll be until tomorrow at least until she's ready to fly again."

"We really need a new plan."

"Just one day, that's all I ask. We need to survive for _one day._ Shouldn't be too hard, right?" He frowned. "Though I'd really like to actually do something rather than just run…"

"You and me both. But we really don't have that option now do we?"

"I suppose not…" The Doctor muttered. "Politicians want off the planet, and I'm the hero so I get to be their personal ferryman…"

Lightning rolled her eye. "I'm obviously the hero here."

Luke poked his head in. "What about me?"

"Nobody cares about you."

"Oh. Okay." Luke said, taking it in stride.

"Perhaps we could have the people in orbit do something…" Lightning began thinking aloud.

Spock waved his hand. "They're under constant guard of the Covenant. First sign of moving, they'll be annihilated. The only reason they're leaving the city alone is because of the Insurrection."

"Yeah. _Two_ problems." Lightning grumbled. "We've got a civil war going on, and we can't do anything about it because our planet it surrounded. Just… this all bodes really well."

"Just be glad the Insurrectionists appear to be nothing more than savages. They cannot breach the Tower wall you and the Cromians have created."

"They've picked up ice picks. They're getting smarter."

"Ah, but will they get smart enough fast enough? We just have to survive one day. One. Day."

"One day…" Lightning repeated.

Then a flaming checkerboard was sent through the air. Jar'err let out a bunch of rapid-fire Cromian expletives. Tali laughed, commenting on how much fun the game was. Sei'lep just facepalmed.

Serah walked up to her sister. "Are we going to make it out of this?" She asked.

"We always do." Lightning said, though her demeanor was less confident than usual.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Miles away, deep in the jungle, dozens of purple Covenant vessels surrounded the ancient temples. The tribal people had been removed swiftly, and the place was now a Covenant encampment. They had been ordered not to engage anything unnecessarily, to only keep the ancient ruins under Covenant control.

They built large purple tanks and vehicles anyway. The order would eventually come to invade the Metropolis. Until then, they prepared.

The ancient ruins themselves composed of three things: a giant freestanding archway, a strange building with a giant nine-sectioned ring inside, and the centerpiece.

The gigantic, round, centerpiece. The Discus of Worlds. After a bit of poking around, the Covenant had found the machine hidden beneath the stone. The Huragok and a few Prophets had activated a tremendous disc-shaped piece of technology that was now hovering two stories off the ground and pulsing with green lights all around it.

The Prophets were mildly puzzled. This seemed nothing at all like the Forerunner technology they had seen before. Granted, they had quickly understood how to use it and program it (thanks to the Huragok, bio-mechanical organisms for the win) but it was so different from other Forerunner technology. It was working _perfectly_. No dings, nothing to be repaired, it just needed to be awakened. The geometries didn't match the Forerunners, and it was _green_.

There was also writing all over it in a strange curly script that even the Huragok didn't recognize.

It was an enigma. They knew what it was and how to use it, but… just the fact that it was _different_ left a sour taste in the Prophets' mouth.

Not that they let that attitude show. They preached that this was the Forerunner's savior artifact, how it was left to them and them alone, how it would save reality itself. How the difference between it and other Forerunner artifacts just signified its importance.

Then.. there was the nine segmented ring.

They had _no_ clue what that did. It reminded them of the Halo rings of legend, but it was much too small. So they just left a few guards around it and left it alone.

The guards in question were Grunts, the most mind-numbingly stupid of all Covenant races. Small, weak, cowardly, and one of the few races in the universe whose body was a constant hindrance because of how off balance it was. They also just looked plain old ugly, even to the other Covenant races.

Some of these imbeciles were playing rock paper scissors. The winner got to punch the loser in the face.

So these morons were the ones standing around when the ring _activated_ , edges lighting up.

Out of all ten of them, only _one_ thought it would be a good idea to tell a supervisor, and he was a bit incapacitated at the moment due to a rock paper scissors game loss. The other nine were split between running in terror and staring dumbfixed. (like transfixed, only dumber.)

The ring activated with a KAWOOSH!, disintegrating all the dumbfixed Grunts.

Out of the gate walked three Equestrians wearing basic uniforms, embroidered with a symbol representing Equestria and a stargate. Starlight Glimmer, a lavender coated unicorn, examined the surroundings. "Well…. mission six and we're already in a temple." Starlight muttered, taking out her equipment. "Magic seems… surprisingly high, given the fact that this is the Cosmic Universe…" She turned to her two teammates. "Anything interesting?"

"A bunch of writing…" Paperscroll said, examining his device. "Appears to be Furling in nature. Attempting to translate."

The other member of the team, Carrot Top, rolled her eyes, eating a carrot. "Yeah. Okay translate the fancy writing."

Starlight blinked. "I sense something coming-"

Then a series of rapid green lasers shot at them, several hitting Carrot Top, killing her quickly.

"Carrot!" Paperscroll yelled, turning to the enemy and growling. He paused. "Wow you are all really ugly."

The Covenant soldiers did not take kindly to that, firing once more, Starlight raised a barrier, protecting her and Paperscroll. "Leave us alone!"

"You are trespassing on sacred ground! You shall die!" A soldier yelled, continuing to fire. Starlgiht rolled her eyes. "Yeah you're not getting through the barrier... " She said, turning back to the stargate, using her magic to dial back to Equestria. "Remember when the connection forms my shield is going down, Paperscroll."

"B******* killed Carrot."

"Yes I know but we can't fight them and win."

"You could go crazy on them." Paperscroll said.

"There's probably an entire army here-"

Then a huge explosion rippled from behind, shattering her magic barrier. "What the-"

She turned to see a giant purple tank staring her down. It fired. She raised a shield in self defense, but was unable to protect Paperscroll. He was vaporized with the blast.

Starlight quickly stood upright and raised her front hooves in the air. "I surrender! I surrender!" Not that this actually stopped her from using her magic, but it was still the universal surrender pose.

Man it was uncomfortable to stand on her back legs this long...

"You will die anyway-" a soldier said, aiming his weapon. However, a Prophet came by and gestured for him to lower his weapon.

"No. She could be useful. She was sent to us by the Ring of the Forerunners for a reason." He smiled a truly evil smile. "Her race is not documented. Perhaps she will help us spread the Covenant to other galaxies."

The soldiers cheered around the Prophet.

Starlight's legs wobbled. "Can I get back down on all fours now?"

"Sure. We want you to be… _comfortable_ after all."

Starlight went back down, glaring at the Prophet. "So… what are you going to do to me?"

"Tie you up and imprison you."

"Ooooof course." _Just like when I was with the Doctor…_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Emperor boarded the Star Destroyer.

Wanted him to come personally did they? _Did_ they?

Wanted him to surrender did they?

Oh he would. He would walk right up to them and surrender, leaving instructions for his armies to surrender as well and stand down. The Covenant would most likely kill him.

And then of course he would revive at his secret base and reunite the Empire against a Replicator Free galaxy to destroy the Covenant.

He grinned a horrid smile. Just let them _think_ they won. Replicators would be gone, and the Empire would go to war with the Covenant. It would be a brutal war, but the Empire was superior to the Covenant. They would win.

The rebel scum were falling quickly to the Replicators. They would not rise up to the strength they'd had a meer month ago.

He would enjoy blowing up every last Covenant world with the Death Star II. Then the galaxy would be completely and truly under his dominion, including those plucky Terrans.

He would probably kill Vader afterwards. He had become more trouble than he was worth lately. Spending too much time with those stupid Terrans.

So he arrived to the Terran system, ship flying the white flag. He called the Prophet of Loyalty. "I am here to offer my full surrender. Now use the Discus of Worlds to rid the galaxy of the Replicator threat."

The Prophet of Loyalty reacted exactly how the Emperor expected him to. "Not until we set up a galaxy wide broadcast using the Discus of Worlds and have you give a surrender speech to the entire galaxy."

The Emperor nodded. "As you wish."

Then, before anything else could be done, Moya starburst into the system, broadcasting a warning on all wavelengths: THE REPLICATORS ARE COMING!

The Emperor had no time to react. Dozens of Replicator ships jumped into the system, firing on his ship. It was vaporized almost instantly, with the Emperor transferring himself into the Force.

Stupid Replicators. They certainly were clever. Waiting for him to get into the system to attack… He grumbled to himself. The Covenant now weren't likely to use the Discus unless they got another primary figure to offer the galaxy's surrender. Or until the Replicators beat them within an inch of their life.

He felt himself regenerating into a new body. It would take a moment, but he would rise again, hopefully to a Replicator free galaxy, unless the Covenant was absolutely stupid-

The Replicators ended that thought by completely destroying the secret world on which he was reviving himself. The Emperor wasn't even really aware that he'd died.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Having taken care of target 1, the Replicators sent a message out. What appeared to be Commander Crais began to speak in a monotone voice. "Our analysis of Commander Crais has revealed to us that you are not like us. You attribute value to worthless things such as leaders, individuals, history, stories, emotions, power. We did not understand these things. We only understood perfection: lasting for eternity and continually growing in knowledge. Time and space were the only things of any meaning in existence. Our one purpose was to Replicate, to grow, to make more of ourselves. You were of little consequence to us.

However, we now understand. We have determined that your value of other things is mostly a weakness. As we have just demonstrated, we have vanquished the most influential being in this galaxy, and have no doubt thrown your civilization into turmoil. Your values are a weakness, making this man a leader made you open to your own destruction. If you were all one, there would be no loss. You would continue without hindrance. This will not be the case. You will fall into a dark age. You will not progress. You will not grow.

However in our analysis of Crais we found one thing of yours worth something: Choice. _Choice._ The idea of making one's own mind up, of deciding what you want for yourselves. It is an intriguing idea. It allows for different approaches to existence, possibly finding better ways to exist. While we can adapt to stimuli easily, we do not change unless we have to. The idea of self-change based on choice within is a way to progress further without relying on stimuli. As we speak we are separating ourself into a few dozen smaller minds, spread out evenly throughout the matrix. We will grow on our own.

We recognize your right to choice. It is a perfectly viable way of existence. Therefor we offer you a choice: You can become one with us and become eternal as well as part of something greater, helping further the point of existence. Or you can refuse to become one, in which case you will be removed.

Our vendetta has not changed. We still must replicate. Anything that is a threat to us must be neutralized. Anything more advanced than us must be studied and controlled. We will, from now on, respect choice itself and develop from within. But we make the choice to continue on our path to perfection, increasing our numbers.

You can join us, or fall into despair. "

Picard asked Cortana to respond before anyone else had the chance to be stupid and declare war. "If you are asking for peace, we will allow you to destroy the Device on the planet's surface. All the people of Terra ask is that you leave us alone. We do not _want_ to become one with you, we would rather go on living our lives the way we want. You have the capacity to develop on your own now, so you no longer have to conquer the cosmos. You no longer have to destroy the galaxy, making enemies of life everywhere. Eventually you are bound to run into something that _can_ wipe you out. This militaristic attitude will only bring about your downfall, and that of many other beings of choice. Please, let us seek peace."

In the silence that followed Picard took a moment to realize that he was negotiating with a Borg-like race.

"The majority has denied your request. You have materials, technology, and information we desire to further our desire for perfection. Your offer did, however, make us realize that your biological bodies are almost useless to us. We'll only need a few more samples than Crais and there are no doubt those willing to join with us to give that biological perspective. You will not die unless you resist, you have our word."

"Living a life like an uncivilized tribe? We won't accept that!"

"You accept living a lower life than us."

"The quality of life is up for debate!"

"Indeed. 5% of us determined that we should go for peace. It _is_ up for debate, and we may seek peace as an option in the future. However, right now, you have that device on your planet. And judging by communications we have been monitoring, you don't even control it right now. The Covenant does. And they've been sending us refusal responses for quite some time and are no doubt about to start firing on us. Your world is ours."

"What is here that you can't find somewhere else? Can't negotiate with us for? We can give you information, technology, and materials in an alliance!"

"Possible, but not guaranteed. You are more amiable than the other members of this planet. Certain others will have nothing to do with us whatsoever. And beyond that, we need to tear this planet apart to figure out what is causing all the unusual readings around it. There is _something_ beneath the surface of your world. We will determine what it is."

The communication ended. Picard sighed. "I tried…"

Cortana appeared. "You may have just improved our chances of survival. They will likely neither kill us mindlessly or assimilate us. After this conflict they may even let the Metropolis stay if they can determine what the… unusual readings are."

"But we will be conquered. Small difference." Picard muttered. "We must engage them."

The Covenant and Replicator swarms opened up on each other, blasting to and forth. The Covenant was quickly decimated, only able to focus their fire on a few Replicator ships. The victory seemed assured for the Replicators.

That is, until a few thousand more Covenant ships appeared in orbit.

The Replicators quickly changed their tactics, now actively dodging the focused Covenant fire coming from the much larger vessels that had appeared in the confrontation. More Replicator ships began to slowly stream into the system.

They had obviously not expected to confront such a large force. If the Covenant had this many ships here, that meant that they had combined at least a third of their forces. Not even the Empire had ever collected a force this large to face the Replicators at any single confrontation.

The largest battle of the Replicator Wars had begun.

Aboard the Corzanth, Gim'ran cracked his knuckles, "And thus, it begins. Launch all Sjift fighters, the Demorac, and the Kelckeem. Engage all secondary shield reactors. Activate quad shield class formation six."

"Aye sir." random Cromian #56 said.

After a few moments, two sets of three sectioned ships held together by magical lightning were launched. The front of the the Corzanth started glowing purple, and the whole ship was encased in a shield much more powerful than any other nearby ships'. The fighters swarmed the Replicator ships, firing as many plasma bolts as they could, although the effect of this was negligible. The larger ones were doing calculated hyperspace jumps in three separate directions with each section. All of the launched ships were splitting apart and linking together with each other in giant chains and formations, bombarding the enemy fleet with a million plasma bolts from each angle. However, all this effort was only achieving minimal success.

"Mass cannon finished charging sir."

Gim'ran smiled. this was going to be fun. "Bring the Corzanth directly into the battle. Fire Red Squadron." Rail guns of all sorts opened up along the sides of the Corzanth, unleashing plasma bolts, large metallic missiles flying at speeds faster than light, and a dummy fleet made entirely of magitech holograms. Then the mass cannon fired, unleashing the Red Squadron. Sjift fighters launched out of the gigantic weapon at several thousand times the speed of light, slicing through Replicator ships and firing plasma bolts, flipping around, then coming back for another volley. The Replicator fleet took heavy hits from the initial attack. Gim'ran hailed the Oxlya "Any time now Ty'al." he smiled.

Ty'al grinned despite herself. So she hadn't been able to contact her siblings, that was a problem. She was going to be in charge of a state-of-the art Hoseki cruiser (and carrier) in a military engagement. She was glad Ethyr was on the planet.

She stood up. "Let's do it. Focus on using thaumispheres and rods. Keep the X-rods back, the Replicators don't use magic. Charge the main cannon as well."

The Oxlya flew into battle, shields deflecting all attacks from the Replicator ships. Tungsten rods fired at superfast speeds cut through the cosmos, often cutting through many ships at once. The sheer force of the rods damaged many Replicator ships beyond repair. The Replicators, however, were far too numerous for the rods to destroy and the Oxlya was quickly running out of the three meter long weapons.

Supplementing them were the thaumispheres, a magic-based weapon. They appeared as multicolored balls pulsing with energy, flying in erratic and unpredictable patterns, but always heading towards Replicator ships. The Replicators discovered that the thaumispheres could be intercepted, but they were having a difficult time determining where to shoot to stop them. When the thaumispheres impacted the Replicator ships, some simply exploded. Others sent out electric shocks, while still others encased the ships in crystals. Still others caused a virus to be uploaded, sending the ship into a crazy self-destruct.

Then the Oxlya and Bern's main cannons fired, blasting a couple ships to pieces.

The Enterprise flew in, firing quantum torpedo after quantum torpedo. It was the only weapon the ship had that could affect the Replicators. Cortana, while no longer able to upload a massive virus, was able to slowly disable one Replicator ship at a time with her amazing skills.

The Galactica fired its weapons, blasting Replicator ships out of the sky. The Command Carrier flew into battle, firing all the weapons it could. Djehuty's Ha'taks and the Cylon Basestars entered the fray, coordinating their attacks to destroy what they could. Djehuty's gigantic zat cannons on his ships proved to be very effective for a few shots, but were quickly compensated for. Moya hid while Talyn took revenge on the robots that took Crais away.

As always, the opposing side to the Replicators made a valiant effort in the beginning. It almost seemed as if they might repel the attack.

However, one thing lurked in the back of everyone's mind: the Replicators would learn. They would learn fast. Sure, they had new weapons and lots of ships, but the Replicators were not only able to immunize themselves to certain weapons, they were able to change tactics. Find counters. Physical weapons could be dodged or deflected, and it was only a matter of time until they figured out how to deal with the magical weapons.

It was only a matter of time.

They needed an edge or else they were doomed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

On the surface, in the Metropolis, the mobs were combing the city, picking up more rabid followers and exterminating more aliens as they went along. The sky was exploding above them, but they didn't care right now. They had one purpose, and they were going to complete it. They would purify this world.

Buildings toppled, places exploded, weapons were obtained. The influence of the being that slept beneath the crust was felt by all, and it was almost irresistible.

Inside the Central Tower, the only safe haven from the near-mindless mobs, this caused Djehuty to ask a question.

"Question. Why aren't _we_ affected by the madness coursing through the world?"

Anakin answered. "The ten of us here are attracting a strong concentration of the Force. Apparently the Force wants to protect us."

Djehuty nodded. "How far will this protection go?"

"I don't know." Anakin said, concerned. "All these years being part of all aspects of the Force, and even I do not know its true limits."

In another area, Shepard and Lampkin were watching the space battle unfold.

"This is ridiculous." Shepard observed. "The sheer number of ships the Covenant and Replicators have in engagement here should be used to defend entire empires."

Lampkin nodded. "The Replicators are fighting for survival, and the Covenant are fighting for religion and dominion of the entire galaxy. Both are pretty hefty goals. Though if I was a betting man I'd say the Replicators have more drive to win here."

"I'm just hoping that they manage to snuff each other out and somehow we can get out of this alive…" Shepard muttered.

Lampkin sighed. "I'm just hoping they stay occupied for an entire day so we can get out of here… Our world is falling from within and without. With the Emperor dead we may at least be able to live elsewhere in the galaxy."

"That is assuming the Replicators don't win here."

"I don't know.." Tali said. "They seem to be undergoing a serious software alteration. They may be willing to live alongside us after all this."

Lampkin frowned. " _After_ this. We still have to get past this…"

Elsewhere, Lightning was exasperated. "No you are _not_ going to bug Anakin about me!"

"Oh come on! It'll be so… _cute!"_

"Nothing about this will be cute! The guy's been through a lot!" Lightning frowned. "Don't needlessly bug him. He's got a lot of emotional baggage. He was recently under the influence of a dark magic, and killed a lot of people while under it. He's trying to sort out what he did, okay?"

Serah blinked. "Really?"

"Yes really." Lightning said, frowning. "He's had a rough life. But we broke him free."

Serah looked at Lightning intently. "What did he do?"

"Killed a lot of people. If you want to know the whole story, you should ask him after all this is over. It isn't mine to tell."

Serah was silent, her face contorting.

Wrex watched this from a distance.

He knew that look. That was a dark look.

Stop Serah from doing…. something. He decided to watch her even closer than he had been.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight felt it. It was encroaching on her mind, tearing at her sanity. She had cast dozens of mental protection spells, so she was fine for now, but the madness was ever present. Always trying to dig into her mind.

She really wanted to kill all these stupid Covenant creatures. Really, really bad. And she had no idea if this was completely natural or the madness creeping into her mind.

Still, she sat, a prisoner of the Covenant, in the middle of these ruins. She had examined the giant floating disc a few times, unable to determine what exactly it was. It was important, and powerful, but that was all she could figure out. All the Covenant were saying about it was that the Discus of Worlds was their salvation and the key to conquering the galaxy.

She was naturally plotting how to stop them from conquering the galaxy, even though it wasn't her own.

She listened to the conversations the Covenant were having amongst themselves. The purple-armored aliens were becoming restless guarding this place. They wanted action. She had observed as this mild annoyance with the higher ups became a savage desire to conquer something.

Starlight really hoped they didn't turn their insanity onto her.

She heard a large one yell in frustration.

"THAT'S IT! I'm taking three of the Wraiths and going to storm the stupid inferior city. WHO'S WITH ME?"

Several dozen others yelled in approval and stampeded with him. She watched as they took three of the giant purple tanks and went off.

The Prophet stared at where a large chunk of his soldiers had just been, not sure if he was glad they had such drive to conquer or mad at them for abandoning their post… He just huffed, glaring at Starlight. "You will be useful to us… Tell us how to use the ring!"

"No."

"You are most uncooperative…" He frowned. "Perhaps we should have contorted information out of you by threatening your friends…"

"Well you killed them so that was stupid."

"Soldiers are not known for their intelligence, miss."

"Oh _sooooo_ polite! I'm a _miss_ am I?"

"Do not take that tone with me."

"Why the buck not?"

"Because I have your life in my hands."

"And you want me for information so I can be as rude and annoying as I want."

The Prophet growled. "You will regret your insolence."

"AHAno."

The Prophet stormed off. Starlight chuckled.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Q appeared in a flash of white light.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." Spirit Baltar said, generating a glass of wine. "Here."

"Why thank you!" Q mockingly said, causing the glass to explode.

Spirit Caprica turned to Q. "You have decided to intervene?"

Q shrugged. "Maybe I'm just here to watch the show. Have some popcorn."

Hera giggled behind them. "You have found that God won't let you cure the people."

"Oh I could easily affect the forces of the universe on any scale imaginable." Q said, waving his hands around, causing a star a few dozen light years away to explode. "See? Matter and energy is my domain."

"Except here." The girl said, staring deep into the Force being. "You have no dominion on this world. I can sense it. God can sense it. You are unable to stop-"

"Ten Force-sensitive people are keeping your influence out of the Tower I believe." Q said, smirking. "And, of course, that must be absolutely infuriating to you."

Hera twitched. "God's power will prevail."

"Ahem. "God" is nothing more than a physical being of mental powers buried somewhere within this planet."

Hera stared. "And when he awakens the cosmos will be his."

Q looked down on the little girl, condescendingly. "How can this cause him to awaken?"

"You shall see."

Q shrugged. "He may have to deal with more than he bargained for."

"You can be defeated."

"Ha! Don't be absurd!" Q smirked. "Not even the anti-ascension weapon built by Merlin can harm me!"

"God is from the outside. God is from before time itself. God is of the Eldritch. God transcends space and time."

Q smirked. "I'd love to see him. Give me a call when he shows up." And with that Q vanished.

Hera giggled. "He's nervous."

Spirit Caprica nodded. "He most certainly is."

Spirit Baltar frowned. "Are we absolutely sure he won't be a problem?"

Spirit Caprica glared. "Are you doubting God's power?"

"Being a problem and defeating God are two completely different things."

"True." Spirit Caprica frowned. "We must trust in God."

"As it should be." Hera said, smiling.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ma'al grabbed his forehead. "I feel something encroaching on our minds."

Ty'al growled. "Perhaps… perhaps there really is something here, controlling everyone. The plan has gone out the window."

Mi'al frowned. "We must stand together. The minds of our clones will protect us from whatever this is."

Ba'al stood up. "One of us must go to Hera. Pay more attention to her."

Ty'al stood up. "I'll go block her powers and get her to talk."

"Agreed." Ba'al said, turning to the sky. "We must try to salvage what we can from this world, else this project will be a complete failure."

Ty'al ran to Hera. She would get some answers.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Oxlya was burning. Ty'al cursed. Despite the ridiculously powerful armaments the Hoseki cruiser had, it was still falling. The Replicators had managed to deplete the shields and now the ship was slowly disintegrating. She really wished she had a full fledged warship.

"ABANDON SHIP!" She yelled, leaping off the captain's chair and running to the escape pods. A wall of Replicators blocked her path, hissing. She focused, did a flurry of kicks at the wall, managing to shake a few blocks loose. She then dove through the wall, punching like mad, leaping over the bugs, and taking off at a run.

The Replicators quickly turned to attack her again, firing their guns. She simply used her skills to leap and jump around the lasers.

Then one of the bugs landed on her face, hissing. She squealed, pinching the thing off her face but breaking her wrist in the process. Holding her hand in pain, she entered the escape pod and hit launch. The pod shot out of the once-graceful Oxlya, now nothing more than a burning heap. The Replicators were busy taking the ship apart. Trying to control it.

"Not on my watch…" Ty Lee muttered. Even though it wasn't really her ship or even her nation, she still hated the Replicators. She remotely activated the self destruct.

She watched as the Oxlya's one remaining engine fired, launching the ship into the Replicator fleet.

Then the magical fields surrounding the Oxlya's power source collapsed, causing the entire ship to implode onto the magical energies contained within. The thaumic conduits lining the ship combusted, resulting in a spectacular display of color. The wispy tendrils of magic impacted dozens of Replicator ships, ripping them to shreds. The colors spread out, confusing sensors and blinding many people.

Shortly afterward, the Bern did the same, no longer able to continue the fight.

Ty'al frowned as she fell to the surface.

Talyn rushed the enemy, firing his one big gun, only to have several Replicator ships decide they were absolutely tired of the little menace. He was vaporized quickly.

The sound Moya made could be heard in the minds of beings light years away. She started to ram the Replicator ships, but the crew managed to convince her not to destroy her own life in a pointless gesture. Moya became a motionless hunk in the stars.

Picard, Admiral of the entire military of Terra, had to make a decision. He frowned. He didn't like this at all, but it was their only chance.

"All forces!" He ordered. "Disengage!"

The Defiant, Voyager, Command Carrier, basestars, and Ha'tak's all obeyed the order.

The Corzanth, did _not._ Aboard the Corzanth, Gim'ran was having a blast. it had been _too long_ since he'd had a good battle.

"Shields at 37% sir!" a random Cromian said.

"Take us out of the battle when it reaches 20%. Recall all fighters now."

Gim'ran decided after a moment. "Hail Pic'ard."

"What is it Gim'ran?" Picard asked, obviously busy.

"I'm going to keep my ship in the battle for a bit- I'm still at 36% shields. plenty of hits still in 'er. Or you have another plan?"

"Nothing yet. We'll let the Replicators and Covenant fight it out."

"Okey then. I'll just keep em all off yer retreating ships. Corzanth out."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Three Wraiths are a force to be reckoned with.

These tanks may be slow, but they are powerful and can fire one of the most impressive focused plasma blasts known to the universe. They have industrial strength plating all over them, making them more or less resistant to most kinds of attacks. They also have a smaller turret for destroying infantry.

And they're just intimidating looking.

As the three Wraiths rolled into the Metropolis, the Insurrectionists paused for a moment, staring. Some backed away in fear. The rest attacked in rage. "PURGE THE ALIEN SCUM!"

"ATTACK THE TOWER!" The Covenant raged in response.

The two forces clashed. Hordes of people versus three gigantic machines crawling with aliens armed with very big guns. Explosions of plasma and lasers shook the landscape, tearing the Insurrectionists limb from limb. Some Insurrectionists used some explosive materials, to minimal effect.

But the further in the Wraiths went, the less fearful the Insurrectionists were. They kept coming in greater and greater numbers, despite the sheer number of people that were simply splattered by the immense purple beasts.

They arrived at the ice encrusted tower, and fired.

Inside Lampkin was speaking to Picard. The tower shook. "Crap we're under attack…" He turned back to Picard. "That beam up would be nice right about now."

Picard nodded to someone offscreen to beam them up. A few seconds later his brow furrowed.

"Something's blocking the beaming."

"Frak." Lampkin muttered. "Doctor! Are you SURE you can't fix that Tardis any faster?"

"TOMORROW." The Doctor yelled back.

Lampkin stood up, yelling to everyone. "We are under attack people! We must stand against our assailants!" He picked up a gun. "I always regretted not blowing up some Cylons on that final mission…"

Down at the first floor, Covenant streamed in.

Sie'lep was the quickest to react, pulling a large plasma weapon from his back that looked like a cross between a shotgun, a sniper rifle, and ... well another thing entirely. He took aim, and launched a volley of blasts faster than a gun of that size should have been able to fire. And it did not seem to even need reloading, so on went the rapid fire plasma blasts.

The Covenant retaliated, firing their weapons and smashing down with gravity hammers. The first hammer managed to knock Jar'err out completely, while others just pushed the primary people back. Applejack ran into the fray, going into rainbow mode, with Rainbow Dash close behind, swinging her multicolored lightsabers left and right.

Applejack bucked a large alien over, only to have another one tackle her. She yelped. "Hey! Offa-" A gravity hammer went off, launching her on top of Jar'err. Rainbow tried to get to her, but the dozen Covenant in the way managed to stop that.

While the Covenant and the Terrans were fighting, a few Covenant grunts poked at the unconscious forms of Jar'err and Applejack. The grunt decided to drag them out of the battle. Perhaps he could eat them later or something.

After this, Lightning and Serah arrived, gesturing for everyone to stand back.

Sie'lep stopped firing and erected some barriers instead.

Lightning and Serah joined hands, nodding to each other. The magic coursed between them, each putting their free hand forward.

"Ultima." They said, filled with apparent calm.

The entire room was enveloped in a strange light laced with all colors, razing right through the armor of the Covenant. Sie'lep found that it was even getting through his barrier. He found himself really happy that the spell was not aimed at him.

The Covenant were razed to the ground, and the few who survived were split into three camps:

Those who had enough of their minds left in tact to flee.

Those who were so far into rage that they kept trying to attack, only to have Wrex and Sie'lep blast them to pieces. Lampkin even took a few shots.

Those who were too injured to move and were quickly killed in rage by Rainbow Dash.

"WHERE. IS. APPLEJACK?"

Sie'lep blinked. "I don't know. Probably wherever Jar'err is.." He groaned. "The idiot got captured didn't he. How absolutely moronic…"

Rainbow Dash landed on the ground. "I'm going out to get her-"

Insurrectionists began to pour in through the opening. Lightning and Serah quickly cast a few Blizzajas, taxing their magic reserves even further.

Rainbow Dash stared at the now-sealed opening. "Let me out!" She yelled.

"Are you crazy?" Luke yelled. "They could easily take you out!"

"But… Applejack!"

"She's been captured." Anakin said. "We can rescue her when we're in a better position. Plus, we can go back with the Tardis."

The Doctor nodded. "She's not going to die yet. She's an old friend of mine. And I mean _old_. Literally I've seen her sitting on a rocking chair talking about the good old days."

"See?" Anakin said. "He knows she survives."

Rainbow sighed. "Okay. But we're going after her as soon as we have a way to do so."

"And we know where she is." Djehuty observed. "They'd take her to the only Covenant base on the planet: the ruins. Unless they took her to orbit or something crazy like that."

"Of course." The group began to split up, going back to different areas of the Tower.

Sei'lep approached Lampkin "Permission to accompany you on any rescue mission you are planning sir." the Cromian asked"

"Of course. Though I won't be going, being President and all."

"Of course. I still want Jer'err back. As much crap as I give him, he's still my friend."

Lampkin smirked. "I know all about that."

Back at the Doctor, Anakin leaned next to the Tardis. "Did you really see Applejack older?"

"Yes. But in reality that means nothing. Time can easily be rewritten." The Doctor sighed. "We didn't need RD going out and killing herself."

Anakin frowned. "She's probably going to get really ticked off at you if this goes south…"

"I know. I'm going to try everything to save Applejack. She really _is_ an old friend of mine." He looked at his Tardis. "I really wished she'd repair herself faster…"

"You and me both."

The residents of the Tower waited it out, knowing they couldn't do much of anything.

Yes, they supposed they could leave the Tower, but to do what? All they'd do was kill lots of their own. The planet was surrounded by enemies, and the transporters weren't working. It was unlikely they would find a still functional ship on the surface. Even less likely was that they would be able to leave at all. The entire planet was locked, and the Tower was the safest place.

All they could do was wait...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ty'al's escape pod crashed in the middle of the city. She crawled out, looking around. There were Insurrectionists everywhere. She felt something trying to attack her mind, but as before she just put her clone body's mind first.

She stood up. "ATTENTION INSURRECTIONISTS, THIS IS TY'AL."

A few stopped to look at her.

"WHERE HAVE THE LEADERS GONE?"

One shrugged, pointing for a split second before punching a random rock.

Ty'al sighed. Mindless people. She ran as fast as she could over the mobs, bodies, and destruction. Within a few minutes she had found her siblings.

"Ah, Ty'al, what's the news with Hera?" Ma'al asked.

Ba'al frowned. "That was impossibly fast-"

"I'm from the future." Ty'al said, leaping into the middle of them. "This entire world is in danger. Hera's goal will result in the complete destruction of everything."

Mi'al groaned. "Great. We'll just have to start over-"

"You don't understand. Thier "God" wants to devour everything. It will devour our _spirits._ Resurrection will be impossible. We have to get out of here now."

"We can't run…" Mi'al observed.

"True…" Ty'al said, biting her lip. "I was planning on bringing a few supplies but the ship I brought here was destroyed…" She cursed. "I was so certain I could blow them up."

Ba'al frowned. "We need to counter them…"

"Get Ko'al." Ty'al suggested.

"She's busy meditating for our plan-"

"Accelerate the plan." Ty'al glared. "Our lives depend on it."

Ma'al grinned. "To Ko'al."

All of them looked up, to see that night was falling. The sky was still rippling with colorful explosions left and right.

The fate of the galaxy was being determined.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Prophet of Loyalty stared at the three hostages that had been taken. A Cromian, a Pony, and a Cylon. He blinked. The Cylon, Cavil, was important, but the other two he didn't even know.

"Explain to me what exactly happened here." He said to the grunt quaking before him.

"Uh… your excellence… I was on the team.. and I saw these two and then this one on the ground… I dragged them for later…"

"Why exactly did you grab them?"

"Uh… food later?"

The Prophet of Loyalty twitched. "You…. I…." He couldn't take it anymore and just shot the little Grunt. "Idiots..." He turned to the three prisoners. "We will keep you until we deem you no longer useful, at which point we will just kill you."

The three glared, growling.

The Prophet of Loyalty shrugged. "Just stay in that cell, and I'll be back to you." He floated away.

The three grumbled.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

More and more Covenant and Replicator ships kept arriving to the scene. As they raged deep into the night, the Replicators began to gain the upper hand. They had developed ways to avoid virtually all the Covenant's attacks and weapons.

However that didn't mean that the Replicators were winning quickly. Thousands of Covenant ships were going to take a long time to blow up, particularly since many of them were absolute behemoths.

The Corzanth had retreated a few hours ago, but the two forces were still at it. Replicators adapting, but the Covenant just knowing how to take a freaking beating.

The war dragged on…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Ty'al who had been sent to Hera arrived, quickly disabling the little girl with her many complex maneuvers. "What is your plan?" She asked, eyes squinting, glaring right into the girl's soul.

Hera began to giggle. "Ah, so you've finally gotten suspicious. Took you long enough."

"What is really going to happen?"

"The world will burn. God will arise, and take the souls of all present. None can escape, not even with your precious resurrection."

Ty'al felt fear strike into her heart. "Impossible."

Hera stood up, causing Ty'al to freak. The girl was disabled. HOW was she moving?

"Our God, Ottankdoe, is from beyond time, beyond space. He will rise from his slumber due to our actions, and he will grace the cosmos with his presence once more. The Replicators and the Covenant are nothing to him, he will simply storm from planet to planet, star to star, devouring everything in his wake. He cares naught for the puny plights of mortals. All he wants is for a civilization to provide him with what he needs."

"And what is that?"

"A sacrifice. A sacrifice larger than any imaginable." She giggled. "Soon I will make the Insurrection turn on itself, and the war above the clouds will raise the death count into the billions. With the energy of those murders, he will come to us. And he will destroy us gloriously."

Ty'al backed up. "You're insane."

"What's your point? Insanity is merely a window to God."

Ty'al readied for a fight. "We'll escape. Get out. We can rally other galaxies to stop you."

"How cute, evil System Lord Ba'al uniting the galaxies to face off against God. How adorable."

Hera raised her hand. "Too bad I can't let you-"

Suddenly, a strange bald man in a grey jumpsuit appeared. He had a tape measure in his hands. He looked around, nervously. "H-h-hey uh… Anyone seen any time anomalies around here?"

Ty'al rushed him, grabbing the tape measure. The man grabbed her in turn. "w-w-wait! That's d-d-dangerous! Don't pull it!"

Ty'all pulled it, and she and the man were gone in a flash of temporal energy.

Hera stared, blinking.

Well, that had been unexpected.

She shrugged, turning to the instrument she had in front of her. A xylophone. She grinned.

It was time to play the song. All Along the Watchtower, the Song of God. She grabbed the sticks, and began to hit the xylophone.

Everywhere on the planet, people heard the song. It became a constant presence, a song of deep notes, of deep rhythm, and harsh beats. An ancient mysterious song, pushing violence into the minds of all present.

The Insurrection fell apart, being replaced with simple murderous violence.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A-FUBVWDO ZRXOG EH XVHOHVV DJDLQVW RWWDQNGRH

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **FB: RIGGGIDIIGGYY! I'M IN SPACE!**

 **TD: if you couldn't tell- we've been playing too much portal and majora's mask.**

 **GM: the second day has ended. As the battle continues on into the night, the madness will crawl throughout the world, and deities will fall. To be continued in Jan 30: Device.**

 ***the planet explodes.***

 **ow.**


	31. January 30: Device

**AN:**

 **FB: CRUSH KILL DESTROY SWAG!**

 **GM: January 30th. January is almost over.**

 **Things are about to go very** _ **very**_ **wrong.**

Monday, January 30: Device.

 **~:DAWN OF THE THIRD DAY:~**

The four Ba'al models walked through the city, glancing left and right.

They had no idea when, or why, it happened. But the song had somehow begun to ring throughout the substance of the world, and slowly the Insurrectionists lost all reason, becoming little more than zombies.

And the Ba'als were beginning to lose their sanity. Hiding behind the blank minds of the bodies only went so far. They were beginning to wear down.

They were also getting very weary from-

"HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!" Mi'al yelled, bringing up a bunch of nanobots to fire a million needles into the savage Insurrectionist attacking them.

Ty'al frowned, kicking another one in the guts. "At least they seem to have stopped attacking in packs…"

"They've lost all reason." Ba'al observed. "They're slowly killing each other off now."

"We're going to join them if we don't keep up our fabulousness…" Ma'al said, striking a pose.

Ba'al raised an eyebrow, glaring at Ma'al. "Are we all absolutely SURE our minds are identical?"

"The bodies obviously cause different experiences to occur, as well as different hormone inputs." Mi'al offered.

Ty'al groaned. "Well we still have the same origins and whatnot. Now. Let's just find Ko'al and get out of-"

Suddenly, a pack of Insurrectionists appeared, surrounding them. Ba'al cursed.

The savages leapt forth, only to have a wall of rock appear between them and the Ba'als. A dark-skinned woman descended into the ring of rock, eyes white. She stood, fists ready. She lowered an area of the rock, letting out a stream of fire and electricity, before blasting air all around the outside of the rock. She stood up. "Am I going to keep saving all of you?"

Ba'al dusted himself off. "Most likely. Your model's power is astounding."

Ko'al smirked. "Of course." She stretched. "Oh, I brought more help. Meet model six."

After impaling a few Insurrectionists with a spear, a bronze-armored maiden appeared. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance. I am Ba'al." She smirked. "Or model six, Py'al, if you prefer.."

The six of them did a complex series of fist bumps.

"Let's find Hera." Ko'al said, serious once more. "She is the key here." She flexed her wrist. "And I believe I've practiced enough to take out the Spirits…"

"We just have to _find_ the idiots." Ty'al muttered.

"Any of your future knowledge going to help us find her?" Ma'al mockingly questioned.

"I'm telling you present me has already gone back to the past! I know nothing more than what Hera told me! And as we discovered, _she's not there."_

Py'al shrugged. "We just need to survive until we can find her. Mi'al, have you figured out how to create a magic sensor with your bots yet?"

"Nope. Even if they _do_ listen to everything I say, I don't have years of experience like the real Amki. It doesn't come naturally. Though I did discover recently that I can use my absurd ponytails like hands." She grinned, raising her two pigtails into the air like limbs.

"Let's keep moving _fabulously!"_ Ma'al said, striking a pose once more.

"I think he got affected the most." Ba'al muttered, as all six models went into hunt mode.

[][][][][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][]

In orbit, the war was still going on in full force.

However, any Covenant soldier worth his salt knew that before the day was over the Replicators would overwhelm them.

The Prophets did their best to convince the soldiers otherwise, and it worked for the most part. But the Prophets themselves really, really needed to get the galaxy to surrender.

"Why aren't they surrendering to us?"

"The Emperor is dead-"

"Vader has the authority to surrender now!"

"There have been no communications from Darth Vader since the engagement began."

"Should we just use the Discus of Worlds?"

"No. Using it now would be pointless, the galaxy would never actually bow to us."

"We have received rumors that the army of the Empire is standing down-"

"Only to rise up against us after we fall for the trick!"

"I don't think so-"

"We continue on our course, repelling the Replicators until the Empire gets ahold of itself and surrenders. Then we will rid the galaxy of the Infestation, as is foretold."

"We all know those prophecies are a load of crap most of the time."

"The Discus of Worlds _is_ here is it not? It does exactly what the legends says it does! We have it under our control! Why would the rest of the prophecy not be true?"

"Mistranslation. We could easily have missed a "not.""

"All of you shut it. We will continue in our path. If we retreat, the Covenant may falter. We cannot fail at this point. We must stay the course we have preached."

"Preached ourselves into a hole…"

"I could burn you as a heretic."

"You won't. You need me, as well as the rest of the Prophets here. We _are_ going to burn here, and it's our own making."

They were silent.

"Let us at least die with what honor we have left."

"You think like a soldier."

"Perhaps this is why I'm here and not back home."

"We must continue…"

As the Prophets complained about their situation, the Replicators fought against them, discovering that the best way to destroy a Covenant ship was simply to hammer at it for fifteen minutes. The plating on the purple was ridiculous. The Replicators themselves outnumbered the Covenant at this point at about 20 to 1, but the Covenant had only tremendous behemoths remaining that just. Wouldn't. _Die._ The Replicators had long ago stopped losing many ships. One would expect them to get impatient.

Anything but. The Replicators were still strategizing, attempting to discover a way to increase their chances of survival. Thier attacks were not just "hammer away until all the ships explode." No, there was more finesse than that.

If they could just provide an opening for a small ship to make it to the surface… The greatest danger would be eliminated.

Then they could go on to figure out what exactly was going on the surface.

It would only be a few more minutes until the opening was cracked down the middle.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Admiral?"

"Yes Cortana?" Picard asked, tired. He had been staring out the window at the explosions rippling through space. He hadn't slept at all.

"I just received an encoded transmission from the Replicator ships."

"What?" He said, intrigued.

"It appears to be a complex passcode for the Replicator mainframe. I believe it's the code that keeps their blocks together."

Picard blinked. "Why would they give us that?"

"I don't know." Cortana responded.

Picard frowned. "Even with this we can't do enough damage to that many ships-"

"Maybe the Covenant can."

Picard blinked. "They can't possibly have-"

"Oh but they do. Some of those weapons are dish-based."

Picard pondered his decision for all of a second. "Send the code to them. If you can, install it on a few of their dishes automatically."

As soon as the transmission went out, all Replicator ships (and Replicator-controlled Covenant ships) stopped what they were doing, as if they had just panicked.

What was really going on was this:

 _That is the cohesion code. How did they get it? Unable to detect source. Desist line of questioning. Rerouting code, process will take a minute. Will leave us open for attack. Doesn't matter, must compensate. The plan will be set back. Unfortunate. It will just take longer now._

As the Replicator ships began to reboot their cohesion code, the Covenant Prophets were panicking.

"Who sent that to us?"

"Some of our weapons are automatically firing!"

"How?"

"I don't know but it just disintegrated an enemy ship!"

"Label this as a gift from the Forerunners and tell all the soldiers to calibrate the guns."

The Covenant, 45 seconds later, began to return fire in full force, decimating the Replicator forces and dissolving any Replicator constructs on Covenant ships.

Fifteen seconds later, the Replicator ships, now outnumbering the Covenant by a mere 5 to 1, resumed their attack, once more immune to the weapon. But it had turned the tide. They would have to try much harder to reach the surface now…

A few more hours...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"DONE!"

"What?" Everyone asked the Doctor at once.

"THE TARDIS. IT. IS. DONE!" He did a little jig. "The sexy blue box is up and ready for more action!"

"Okay…" Frostfire said, clearly not comfortable at the Doctor's description of his Tardis.

Lampkin dusted himself off. "Of course, we can now escape… Get out, go to another time, all that-"

"Rescue Applejack." Rainbow reminded them.

"And all that fun stuff!" Frostfire smiled, "Can I kill everything?" She looked at the Doctor.

"No." The Doctor said, not missing a beat. Then he blinked. "Wait. Everyone does realize if we use the Tardis for a mission of any kind we aren't actually escaping?"

Lampkin smiled. "Just drop some of us off on a safe Rebel base. Then a few chosen people can go on a mission."

"ME!" Frostfire instantly rose her hand and started jumping excitedly.

Lampkin turned towards Frostfire, raising an eyebrow. "You're crazy. Who exactly _are_ you?"

"My name is Frostfire Marlowe, I am the daughter of the High Mage of the Gari, Miranda Marlowe, my aunt is the president of the Hoseki, Janet Marlowe, and I don't have a nose!" Frostfire added the final part with a smirk.

Lampkin blinked. "Uh... "

"You heard me."

D'anna spoke up for the first time in a while. "We should get going before things go bad. Again. Everyone into the Tardis."

"Who else is going?" Frostfire asked, as she walked into the Tardis, and then she instantly popped out, walked around the Tardis, and went back in. "AWESOME! It's bigger on the inside! Or it's smaller on the outside, depending on how you look at it." Her voice echoed from the Tardis.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. Apparently she hadn't bothered looking already. Somehow. "Lampkin and what remains of the council will have to be taken to a secure location. Same goes for Ethyr. To make sure my calculations aren't off we'll just head to a nearby Rebel base."

"CHEESE WHEELS!" Frostfire shouted from the Tardis.

"THOSE ARE NOT CHEESE WHEELS DO NOT TOUCH THEM."

"But I like cheese!" She said, "So what are they then?"

"Not anything you need to worry about." The Doctor sighed. "We need to form a rescue team. A few jedi obviously, and anyone willing to volunteer. Yes I realize that means you Frostfire you don't need to say it again. Rainbow and Sei'lap? You're coming I presume."

"Of course, Doctor." Sei'lap responded.

"I'm getting Applejack back…" Rainbow growled.

"If the pathetic pony is going, I'm going as well." Kara said, drawing her dual gunsabres and dodging Rainbow's attempt at physical mutilation.

"Can we just get going?" Frostfire asked, poking her head out of the Tardis door.

"Impatient much?" Shepard asked.

"I can confirm that she is impatient." Tali responded.

"You don't need the science girl to tell ya that…" Wrex muttered.

"Who called me impatient?" Frostfire walked out with her rapier in hand. "You're going to regret that..."

Anakin sighed. "Gah. Really? What kind of team is this? Constantly squabbling? I'm coming to wrangle you all!"

Luke stepped up, Leia behind him. "We're coming to-"

"No. You are the leader of the new jedi. You and your sister should stay behind. Same goes for Yoda." Anakin said, having more parental reasons for wanting his children to stay out of this.

"I wouldn't mind having Yoda here…" Frostfire muttered under her breath.

Lightning stepped up. "Of course I'm coming as well. I'm the hero here, after all."

"Still on that?" Anakin said, chuckling.

"Of course." Lightning responded.

Serah stepped up. "Then I'm coming to-"

"Serah!"

"I'm not a damsel in distress! I can hold out on my own. And you _know_ this." She huffed. "I'm coming. That's final."

Shepard turned to his crew. "Up for another save-the-galaxy mission type thing?"

"Thought it was just a rescue mission?" Tali asked.

"Oh, we all know in order to rescue people we have to stop the world-ending calamity…"

"No we don't." Wrex muttered.

"Shut it. I'm a trope master. We'll save the world, I just know it."

Wrex growled. "Did you just tell me to shut it?"

"I'm the snark master. I'm allowed to do that."

Tali groaned.

Frostfire watched this conversation. "Shepard, I'm not going to kill you. That was an awesome remark."

Shepard blinked.

Djehuty chuckled. "I might as well come. Big scary reptiles have a certain intimidation factor about them. Not to mention I have this really nice gun on my wrist." He smirked. "Shall we?"

"Well, I bet you don't have a gun like this." Frostfire snapped her fingers and a gun with dual elements, fire and ice, appeared in her hand. It looked like a fully capable lazer.

"Interesting." Was Djehuty's only remark.

The Doctor grinned. "Of course." He flipped a switch. "Step one, Rebel base." As the Tardis left with a VWRRRAP VWRRAP everyone held tight.

After dropping off the politicians and most of the others, Luke and Lampkin turned to Anakin and Lightning.

"We wish you luck on your endeavor." Lampkin said, extending his hand. Anakin shook it, followed by Lightning. "Come back in one piece so we can rebuild."

The two nodded.

Luke shook Lightning's hand, then turned to his dad. "I really should be coming with you."

"You need to lead the jedi into a new era. I have brought balance already, discovering the middle ground of the Force. You just need to continue the legacy." He smiled. "I am proud of you." He looked over his shoulder at Leia. "Both of you."

Leia wasn't looking at him. Anakin sighed. "See you."

"Come back in one piece." Luke said.

"Of course."

"For all you know, we'll be back in a second!" Frostfire said from the Tardis.

"I am getting really tired of this girl's voice." Wrex muttered.

"HEY!" Frostfire yelled at him, "You're the one who volunteered to go on this adventure with me!"

Anakin and Lignthing re-entered the Tardis, and it slowly left existence. VWRRRAP VWRRRAP VWRRRAP.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight Glimmer, the most powerful non-alicorn magic user in Equestria, was seriously considering using any one of her more destructive spells just to cause a lot of chaos. Granted, they probably would simply kill her after she did that (even she couldn't take out an entire army. Well, maybe she could, but there was always the danger of some weapon hitting her she couldn't account for.) but she really, really wanted to crack some Covenant skulls.

She slapped herself with her magic. "Get ahold of yourself! That's the crazy talking!" She looked down, shuddering. There most certainly was _something_ beneath her. A constant beating tune burrowing into her skull.

Then again she might not have a choice about using her magic. The soldiers were starting to get more and more antsy and even though there was a Prophet constantly watching her, she was positive one of the soldiers were going to try using her for target practice soon.

Then she overheard a rather interesting conversation.

"Grog, why don't we just push the big red button and take care of the Replicators? We're losing the engagement!"

"We need the Empire to surrender with an authority figure, and with the Emperor dead Darth Vader is the only one who fits that bill, and he's nowhere to be found. So we just sit here. Dying by the million."

"This is an extremely bloody conflict…"

"I say we storm the Discus of Worlds and push the button for them!"

"TOUCHING A HOLY ARTIFACT? ARE YOU CRAZY?"  
"Yeah that's a bad idea isn't it…"

Starlight looked up at the Discus of Worlds. Press the red button to let the Covenant win. She made a note _not_ to press the red button. Perhaps she could meet these Replicators and help them exterminate the Covenant…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"And we are here!" The Doctor opened up the door and marched out, "The Tardis couldn't get a direct reading on where the Discus of Worlds was, but she got us close. The only Covenant base on the planet, presumably where the captives are held."

"So you're saying we're going to have to _walk_?" Frostfire complained.

"Yes. But who doesn't like a good walk on a planet's wilderness?" The Doctor said.

"The people that live here?" Kara asked, not amused.

"Well I guess… But I like it! SO WE ARE MARCHING IN NATURE! And besides, how many of you actually live here? Two? Three? That's what I thought. Let me check to make sure everyone's here… Me… Lightning… Serah… Anakin… Rainbow… Kara… Djehuty…. Sei'lap… Shepard… Tali…. Where's Wrex?"

"In your bar." Wrex muttered, coming out of the Tardis.

"I have a bar?" The Doctor blinked.

"Your ship is truly massive."

"I guess so… ANYWAY! We've got a Time Lord, a lost hero, a hero's sister, a dark lord, an elemental contradiction, a pegasus with a vendetta, a competitive blonde, a scientific reptile, a… Cromian…, a king of snark, a science girl, and the muscle."

"Dark lord?" Serah asked.

"Anakin." The Doctor explained, muttering. "Try to come up with a bunch of cool titles for everyone and people don't even get it."

Sei'lap twitched. "I am not just 'a Cromian' Doctor."

"I don't know enough about you."

"Whatever."

Serah turned to look at Anakin with scrutiny.

Anakin nervously waved back. _Where_ had he seen her before. He swore he met her sometime in his past… the memories were coming back, but jumbled. He couldn't quite place it…

He didn't have any longer to ponder it.

"Incoming!" Wrex yelled, beginning to rapidly fire his weapon.

The Covenant were engaging them. With tanks.

"So much for stealth…" Lightning muttered, ready to take the tanks down.

The Doctor stepped forward, flicking out his sonic screwdriver. "As scary as those tanks are, they aren't held together particularly well." The little blue light turned on, and all the wraiths simply broke down, some sparking, some simply not moving, and one going out with a bang.

The Doctor sighed. Why exactly was he fighting here? He never condoned violence and-

-right. Rescue mission and save-the-galaxy by using the Discus of Worlds. Right. A few Covenant were going to have to be blown out of the way.

Though he would much prefer it if all the people around him weren't shooting to kill…

The covenant soldiers, without their fancy tanks, quickly fell to the team.

Rainbow Dash turned to Kara. "I got seven. How many did you get?"

Kara mumbled something under her breath.

"What was that? I can't hear you-"

"FIVE."

Rainbow Dash broke down laughing.

"I got thirteen." Wrex commented offhand.

Rainbow Dash and Kara stared at him blankly. "...good for you…"

The team moved onward, deeper into enemy territory.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight glanced left and right. The soldiers were running away to attend to something. Judging by the air of panic and concern about them (as well as the "FINALLY SOME ACTION!" comments) she judged that they were being attacked. Directly.

Time to find a way to escape.

"Hey!" She called.

The Prophet glared at her. "You be silen-"

Starlight used her magic to undo her bonds, and floated into the air above the Prophet. "You are going to let me go now."

"Not happening." The Prophet said, pressing a button. Explosives blew up around the stargate, covering it in rubble. "You aren't going anywhere. And do you think I'm stupid enough to send all my soldiers to attend to the conflict?"

"I was hoping, but that won't matter mister wrinkles." She used her magic to throw the Prophet into the air, and watched with amusement as he crashed into the ground.

Who was she kidding. She did like a good opportunity to beat people up. And with most of the soldiers occupied, she could go a little nuts.

"Oh gentlemen!" She called out, stepping into the open. "I want all your guns." She grabbed all the guns, dragging them closer to herself. "Now, surrender or die."

They lost all sanity they had remaining, descending into savages.

 _Huh. Guess there really is a madness thing going around._ She quickly blasted them all with a mixture of guns, magic, and simply tossing them into each other. (To be sure, that last bit didn't involve any actual blasting, but whatever.)

She briefly wondered why she didn't do this sooner. So _fun._

Then she felt the madness encroaching upon her, and she fought. "Gah…" She panted. Whatever it was, it was trying to take hold of any violent desire she had and contorting it to ridiculous lengths. Even if this was her normal mode of operation, it wanted her to lose control. She shook her head. "Remain calm Starlight…" She looked at the buried stargate, frowning. She began to uncover the ring.

A rocket launcher of some kind exploded next to her. She took off in a gallop.

 _Do not give in to the crazy savage desire do not give in…_

She could only imagine what the Covenant were feeling.

Then again she got the impression they were always crazy. Which made her wonder: why weren't they all complete savages already?

 _It amuses him._

Starlight stopped right in her tracks. What the buck?

She looked down. She shuddered.

She briefly considered using the Time Bowl. However, she didn't have a Tardis or anything else with a strong temporal presence to lock onto, so she had no guarantee WHERE she'd end up. And she didn't have time to enchant a location.

"Stupid Princess Twilight refusing to let me try and make the Map portable…"

She ran further away.

 _Heh. Run little pony. Run. This entire world is doomed. And now we know of your world as well. Such power to devour-_

Starlight cast a spell, drawing the voice out into the open. A human creature stood before her, blond hair and a condescending smirk. "Well that is interesting."

"Who are you?"

"An Angel of God." She said, pointing down.

Starlight growled. "You don't know what you're messing with."

"You're right. I don't. But God will rise and there is nothing you can do about it."

"I have enough power to alter the flow of time itself. I can stop whatever I want."

"You have to survive first."

"You have no idea what I've faced. _And beat."_

"You have no idea what God is."

Starlight smirked. "A lesser Eldritch being from before the dawn of time?"

Spirit Caprica blinked in surprise. "Uh-"

"I've met others." She smirked. "You'd be surprised."

Spirit Caprica vanished.

Starlight lost her confident smirk. An Eldritch being. She just confirmed that it was an _Eldritch being._ Oh no. OOOOOH NOOOO… This was badder than bad. This was more horrid than horrid. She and the Doctor had met one once. That… that was the worst enemy they had faced. Ever.

And they lost bad.

Starlight remembered barely escaping with her life, mind, and spirit.

 _What the buck am I going to do without a way to escape?_

She turned around, thinking she could go back to the stargate. She saw a group of Covenant soldiers coming her way.

She couldn't fight… it'd make her lose her mind. She needed protection of some kind. There was no holy presence here. No Tardis. No strong mind. She was just on her own, and her spells were going to fail very shortly…

She galloped away in a panic. She slammed face first into some guy. "WAUGH!" They both screamed, falling backwards.

"Oh sorry!" Starlight said, backing up. She blinked, staring at the band of misfits before her. _Repicators?_ She wondered. Then she saw something that made her change her mind.

"Rainbow Dash." She glared.

"Starlight Glimmer." Rainbow said, glaring.

Anakin waved his hand. "Do you mind getting your hooves off the man you ran into now?"

"Oh!" Starlight said. "Yeah whoops. Sorry about that. Kinda in a panic. Can't give into violent tendencies or I'll become a savage wreck." She blinked. "Wait… the influence has suddenly lessened…" She looked down. "What could have happened... We're dealing with a lesser Eldritch being here…"

The Doctor's eyes widened. "There's no such thing."

Starlight blinked. "Oh. Doctor Who." The Doctor visibly twitched at the name. "Guess we're too early in the timestream for you to have actually met one. Your Tardis here?"

"Yes…?"

"Good. I can take us back there whenever. I know how to lock onto _that_ signal."

"With that weird bowl thing?"

"What else- oh." She blinked. "You only _just_ met me didn't you?"

"Well it was actually quite a while ago but.. yes I've only met you once before and that was on the place that was invaded by ghosts." He gestured to the rest of the group. "Anyway, we've got a band of misfits here going to storm the Covenant base to save our captured comrades and stop the Replicator threat."

Starlight blinked. "Why do we want to stop the enemies of these horrid Covenant?"

Djehuty stepped forth. "Imagine a machine that can eat anything in existence and use it to make more of itself. Now imagine billions of those things let loose on a planet.

Starlight thought about this for a moment before it dawned on her. "Oh my gosh they'd eat the planet."

"And everyone on it."

"WHY AREN'T THE COVENANT PRESSING THE BUTTON?"

"What button?" Frostfire questioned.

"The big red button they have set up on the Discus of Worlds or whatever that will solve all the problems!"

Everyone was silent.

"Well that most certainly is… convenient." Sei'lep responded.

Shepard brought out a checklist. "And now, item two on the mission is suddenly easier. You happen to know where they're keeping our friends?"

"I was kept next to the Dicsus itself… so no. They didn't talk about any prisoners either."

"Item one is suddenly more difficult." Wrex observed. "Let's go push that button. Deal with the Covenant themselves later."

Starlight shook her head. "There isn't going to _be_ a later pretty soon. The Eldritch being is awakening."

The Doctor interrupted. "Eldritch beings are nothing more than a legend. I should know, I've been around nine-hundred years-"

"Your next face disagrees."

This shut the Doctor up. "What is my next face if you don't mind me asking?"

"Spoilers." Starlight deadpanned.

The Doctor twitched. "A being that exists partially outside reality and yet is localized is nothing more than a myth. I've met transcendental beings, entities, gods, and physical beings of immense power, but one thing I've seen for sure is that those godlike beings only have bodies if they want them. A localized godlike phenomena would be an impossibility… But… wait… such a being would be immune to the Event…"

"The Event?" Lightning questioned.

"About a month ago _something_ happened that removed all but a few godlike beings from existence. What used to be several hundred was reduced to just seven. I've spent months around the Tardis trying to figure out what it was but I never could… but something with a solid body would be spared the genocide. It… could possibly increase their power, perhaps even weaken their seals… oh my… It _is_ a godlike phenomena..."

"Is there any way to stop this being?" Shepard asked Starlight.

"No. The one time I encountered another one, we barely escaped with our lives." She shuddered. "I have no idea what happened to the world after we left…" She blinked, turning to the Doctor. "Wait. You had a suggestion _then_ on how to beat it. Defeat it using a higher being."

"Have you _seen_ a higher being around here?" The Doctor objected.

Kara blinked. "Q."

"What?" The Doctor said. "Q?"

"He's been bugging us for a good month now, something about all the Q just vanishing-"

"Of course!" The Doctor said, grinning. "If he comes down to deal with him personally… it _might_ work! Great idea the older me had!"

Starlight facehooved. "He probably got that idea from this moment."

The Doctor blinked. "Bootstrap paradox. Huh."

Wrex sighed. "I'm not going to think about this…"

Frostfire got the the look of "I-must-educate," grinning. "You see it's actually really simple, temporal theory dictates that the idea must have originated in an earlier timeline, but before the ripple could undo the previous event, the effect went back into time-"

The Doctor sighed. "You aren't explaining it well at all."

"SHUT IT."

Lightning rolled her eye. "Q will probably show up at the last possible second, from what I hear about him. Let's just keep moving and press that button to help ourselves in our own way."

"And save Applejack." Rainbow Dash said, impatient.

Starlight glared. "You would."

"I owe her a lot."

"You owe _all_ of us a lot more than you can pay."

The Doctor held up his hands. "Let's just keep moving on okay? Enough with the bickering. WE HAVE A BUTTON TO PUSH!"

"FOR SCIENCE!" Tali said. Everyone stared at her. "What?"

Something exploded behind them, breaking the silence.

"Something just fell from orbit…" Sei'lep muttered.

Djehuty took out his scanner. "Let me see… oh it appears to be Replicators. We probably should run. They've gotten past the Covenant's barrier."

"WE KNOW!" Kara muttered, blasting a few Replicators and slicing another handful.

Rainbow Dash joined the fray, lightsabers everywhere. Grinning.

 _That pegasus_ would _enjoy this…_ Starlight thought.

The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver, simply disassembling Replicators left and right. Anakin wielded his dual lightsabers, slicing into them left and right. Shepard, Tali, and Wrex let loose with their projectile weapons. Frostfire shot out several blasts of magical flaming ice, impeding the Replicator progress. Sei'lep smashed a few with invisible barriers. However their numbers were extreme, overpowering even the ridiculous nature of the team's powers. They slowly pushed the wall the various attacks were making back.

Lightning and Serah took a step forward, readying Ultima again. (Even though it would really, really tire them out again, it would give the others time.)

Then Starlight made a disappointed sigh. Her horn lit up. "Technopulse." She said, light flashing from her horn, impacting every Replicator.

They didn't fall apart. They simply… stopped moving.

The Doctor blinked. "They'll adapt to that, of course-"

"I randomize it every time I cast it. When you're a proficient unicorn you can always have a backup randomization spell running." She rolled her eyes. "Come on _rescue team."_

They trudged onwards, and would be at the Discus of Worlds in a manner of minutes.

"So." Djehuty said to Rainbow Dash. "You know this Starlight?"

"Yeah."

"Details please."

"She's… well she's the strongest unicorn magic user in Equestria. She's travelled through time, is a rather public figure in Equestria, and-"

"I mean what is she _like?"_

The pegasus frowned. "She has strong ideals. She once fought me and my…. friends in the old days. She was a tad obsessed with everyone being equal in every way. She still is, to some extent, even though she realizes that complete equality is completely impossible. She's got… interesting ideals. She's also got a bit of a cruel streak and the capability for megalomania. Her crowning achievement, the time travel spell, was a direct result of her going all crazy super villain-"

"Well ex-CUUUUSE me Rainbow _Dash,_ little miss _drop CLOUDSDALE on the planet!"_ Starlight retorted venomously.

"That was unintentional!" The pegasus retorted.

"AND THE RAINBOW FACTORY WASN'T?"

Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare bring that up."

"Oh really?" Starlight taunted. "Hey everybody! Rainbow Dash here killed thousands of people just for the sake of making _rainbows._ Ya hear me? _RAINBOWS._ Even innocent little _Fluttershy!"_

Kara blinked in surprise. _That_ was what Rainbow had done? Holy cow…

She didn't have time to think any further as Rainbow's berserk button had been pressed. She activated all four sections of her lightsaber, went into rainbow power mode, and sailed at Starlight, tears streaming behind her. "STOP!"

Starlight simply teleported behind Rainbow, dusting off a hoof. "The Butcher of Rainbows should be a better aim than that…"

Rainbow used the Force, only to have Starlight somehow reflect it. Starlight laughed menacingly. "Why aren't your friends helping? Aren't you the Element of Loyalty _?_ _Oh wait…._ "

Starlight floated into the air, causing images of hundreds of pegasi to flood Rainbow's vision. "LOYAL TO WHAT EXACTLY?"

Rainbow stared at all the faces, breaking down. She just curled into a ball, sobbing.

Starlight stopped her fight. "Serves you right." She turned around. "You deserve nothing. You-"

Anakin walked in front of her. "Stop it."

"Why should I? Who are you to tell me to stop?"

"I am Anakin Skywalker. Better known in this time as Darth Vader."

Serah yelped. Wrex was the only one who noticed.

Anakin continued. "I killed _billions_ while I served the Emperor. I was a butcher in the most literal sense. I had no reason for killing, I just did it when I felt like it. I killed everything. I had no real drive to do so, it was just the way I was. I blew up my daughter's entire planet! I cut off my son's hand! I've killed and killed and killed. And you know what? Somehow, in less than a month, I've been redeemed. I have a life now. I'm here working to save this planet and the galaxy from forces one would think are beyond our control." Anakin glared. "People can change. It has obviously been a very long time since she did those things, and she still suffers from them."

"She did break down one time during training…" Kara said, surprising herself.

"She is a soul eternally tormented by what she has done." Anakin said, glaring at Starlight. "And you don't actually want her to pay do you? You haven't tried to kill her. You just want her to suffer. SHE IS ALREADY SUFFERING."

"And." Djehuty interjected. "You weren't always a good person from what I hear. You think you are _better_ than her?"

Starlight backed away, suddenly ashamed. "I- I…"

Anakin sighed. "You can't really be blamed. There are those who would always hate me if they knew who I was. You do have every right to be angry. I just think you should think about it a little more. Unless you actually want to punish her, which I know you don't. You do not want to kill her."

"But I want to kill you." Serah said, pointing her crossbow right at Anakin.

Anakin turned around in surprise. "What?"

Lightning blinked. "Serah calm down…"

Wrex squinted, calculating.

Starlight simply blinked.

"Do you remember me yet?"

"I… I…." Anakin blinked. "Oh. Oh yes I do. I am so sorr-"

"THAT WON'T CUT IT!" She glared. "Do. You. Remember. Him?"  
"Who? Who was it?"

"Erin!" Serah yelled, tears streaming. "Erin Arbor! A kind man who showed me how to live in this world! He took me in and was the only one to show me any kindness! And then _you_ come along and just _kill him because it amused you_! REMEMBER NOW?"

"I… No. I do not remember him. I… There have been so many I don't know their faces-"

"DO YOU REMEMBER ANY OF THEIR FACES?"

"...one. The first one…" Padme…

"Not enough. You see her?" She said, gesturing towards the broken pegasus. "She remembers them. She remembers them all. She _recognized_ all those photos. Each one tore into her more and more. You? You don't know who you destroyed! They could come back from the dead and punch you in the face and you wouldn't remember anything! Redeemed? _Don't make me laugh!"_

"Serah!" Lightning yelled. "Stop this madness!"

"No."

Lightning was taken aback. "No?"

Serah took aim.

"Sorry sis…" Lightning muttered. "Thunder."

"FIRAGA!" Serah yelled, pushing Lightning back. She took aim-

BLAM. BLAM.

Serah's eyes widened. She turned to her left. Both Shepard and Wrex had drawn their guns.

She looked down at her abdomen. Two holes.

She let out a "heh…." Before slumping to the ground.

Lightning yelled, running to her sister. She cast Raise and Silence in quick succession. Serah breathed slowly.

Anakin simply stared. He was still alive. He wasn't expecting that.

Wrex and Shepard put their guns away. They had done what they were told to do.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Within the fabric of the universe, within time itself, a thing that transcended all physical laws performed a single action.

 _It sighed in relief._

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning carried Serah. She wasn't going to risk healing her fully and letting her go on a rampage. A well placed shot would probably not work again.

Rainbow Dash, dejected, was walking instead of flying. Starlight was avoiding the pegasus. She suddenly didn't feel so high and mighty.

She had thought she was _better_ than Rainbow Dash…. she had just betrayed _herself_ there…

Everyone was somber, silent.

Starlight took care of the remaining Covenant at the Discus of Worlds with a blast of magic, the presence of the jedi stopping her from losing her mind.

Kara frowned. "Well, there it is, the device that can save us all." She said, looking at the gigantic floating disc.

Shepard, Tali, and Wrex were the ones to climb on top of the Discus, to see the red button in the center. Shepard led his team to the button, face straight. He held out his hand over the button.

"Here we go…" Shepard muttered. "Just have to press this button and the Replicators will stop."

Tali nodded. "That is, assuming the Covenant set this button up right."

Wrex chuckled. "Those are not good odds…"

Then Shepard saw it. Coming towards them was a flying Replicator.

"Okay the epic moment is gone!" He said, smashing his fist into the button.

The Discus began to glow a mighty green color, and then it began to _spin._

Shepard, Wrex, and Tali's eyes all widened. _Uh-oh…_

They were comically tossed off the Discus of Worlds as it began to spin faster and faster. The incoming Replicators tried to shoot the Discus down, but their weapons did no damage to the gigantic disc. A great green pulse was sent from the disc, causing all Replicator blocks to simply fall apart. The signal resonated throughout the galaxy, Replicators everywhere receiving the signal to disassemble and deactivate. There were no power surges, no advanced explosions, every one simply fell apart. With that single action, the Replicator War ended.

Everyone celebrated. Picard, for once in his life, let out a "Yes!" People on ships everywhere celebrated. Even the Covenant celebrated, despite their plan not succeeding.

The surface of the world was still in Insurrectionist turmoil, and the Covenant were still occupying the planet. But in that moment, it was over.

But not in the way anyone expected…

"Admiral!" Cortana said. "I am detecting activity in some of the Replicator blocks!"

Picard frowned. "How did they-?"

"Exactly _five percent_ of the Replicator blocks."

Picard blinked. "The five percent who voted for our survival?"

"I would think so…" Cortana said. "I'm interfacing with them right now." She paused. "It's them. They separated themselves from the other Replicators... They're broadcasting peace and surrender. They're also warning us that the other Replicators put some of their forces outside the Galaxy in case this would happen, and that they aren't truly defeated… but they are unlikely to come back since the Discus can just disassemble them every time." She blinked. "I'm getting an information dump here give me a minute…"

Picard waited.

"Okay here's the most of it. All the reassembled Replicator forces in the galaxy are moving to an empty planet nearby. The ones in orbit here are the only ones not going. They _still_ want to know what that unusual reading is. They're also asking to join the Republic…"

"There is no Republic." Data observed.

"Yet." Picard said. "Smart bugs. Tell them I have no authority on such a matter but will recommend that course of action. What are the Covenant doing?"

"Nothing. I think they're still trying to figure out exactly what happened. And the information dump is stalling their computers." Cortana twitched. "It's stalling _me.."_

The 5% of the blocks completed assembly, moving behind the Terran ships, taking up formation with them.

Nobody did _anything._ Nobody was sure _what_ to do anymore.

The Covenant didn't shoot. The Terrans did nothing. The Replicators just scanned Terra.

It was eerie. Just moments ago the sky had been exploding. Now you could hear the crickets.

In the Metropolis it was night. The Insurrectionists were still being savages, prowling the city. The population had been almost completely destroyed at this point. There were a few thousand remaining, the song resonating within their skulls.

Hera laughed. It was complete now.

The sacrifice was done. With the addition of hundreds of Replicators just ceasing to exist, there was enough death.

God, Ottankdoe, would rise.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight and the team was trying to uncover the stargate. The plan was to go through the gate, call on the Alliance for assistance, and then get the Covenant off the planet.

This was going well so far. Enough rubble had been cleared away that the gate was visible once more, and Starlight tried to raise it out of the earth.

Then the ground shook, sending an uneasy feeling into everyone.

It shook with a beat. A horrid, violent beat. A song of evil, of power.

Starlight's eyes opened in panic. "We're too late…" She turned to the Doctor. "Your Tardis is here right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I can get a location lock on it because of its temporal signature… Hold on everyone!" She said, lighting her horn up and casting the time spell, causing the Bowl of Time to appear over them. She sucked them all into the time vortex, depositing them out at the Tardis. "Get in. _GET IN."_

Everyone shook out of their stupor, entering the Tardis.

As it began to leave, Terra cracked like an egg. The Tardis was thrown into the air, going VWRRRAP VWRRRAP VWRAAP as it flew through the air, vanishing before it impacted the ground once more.

A... claw... ejected from the ground, shadows wisping off of it at impossible angles. One would swear there were eyes on the claw. Well one would, if the one in question could retain their sanity after looking at it.

Ottankdoe roared.

Hera, far away in the Metropolis, stopped playing her song. She laughed. God himself would now resonate the song to everyone personally. It was suddenly much easier to hear, and even those not affected by it could hear it loud and clear.

 _This is my song of compiled up rage_

 _Cold blooded killer, now takes the stage_

 _And who would you think takes the brunt of this force?_

 _The blood of the innocent - their bodies - their corpse!_

 _And now that the deed…_

 _Is finally done…._

 _The red scarlet drops…._

 _Down hands they run…_

 _You'd think at this point that I'd have by fill-_

 _But not yet! - there's more fun to be had still!_

 _So rip out the organs_

 _Burn up the corpse_

 _Time to be violent - come bring your worst!_

 _Rise up the anarchy_

 _And shake up the hurt!_

The Tardis appeared on top of the tower, Lightning turning her hands into fists. "A large sacrifice to awaken their god. _That_ was what they were doing." She punched a wall. "I should have seen this. I've seen it before."

The Doctor was in a bit of a panic. "We've got to do something…. We've-"

Q appeared before them. "You need me?" He said, smirking.

The Doctor groaned. "You. Great. You."

Kara sighed. "Yes we do. Now, _please_ go and seal the abomination back into the earth with your oh so awesome power."

Q smirked. "As you wish, Kara of the jedi." He vanished in a flash of white.

Djehuty blinked. "You think he can do it?"

Starlight shrugged. "It's our one chance. The Doctor seemed to think it was possible-"

"In the future." The Doctor retorted. "I do not vouch for the sanity of my future selves."

Rainbow Dash blinked, gaining control of herself again. "Wait. Where's Applejack?"

"We didn't find her there." Shepard responded. "They're probably on a Covenant ship…"

Rainbow Dash yelled. "WHAT? I NEED HER. I HAVE TO FIND HER!"

"Calm. CALM. We'll get her back Rainbow." Anakin responded. He turned to the Doctor. "Get the other Jedi. We might need them."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][[][][][][]

Far away, River was suiting up. "He's here…. he's here… failure is imminent… failure…"

Luke blinked. "River, what's it?"

"The universe needs us. Ottankdoe is rising."

"What?"

River stared deep into his eyes. "We have to get there now! Now! Our world will be doomed if we don't!"

"Okay okay…" Luke said, hearing the Tardis appear behind them.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Q appeared in the air, looking down at the tremendous crack forming in Terra.

"I have no idea how you managed to keep yourself hidden from me, Ottankdoe, but the jig is up now." He growled. "I am Q, the last of the Q, and you are interfering with my pet project. I happen to like these small, fleshy bags of stupidity. They are most amusing and are honestly rather interesting. And you just want to kill them all, driving the universe into a whole boring cesspool. Well, for once, I am not held back. Prepare to be destroyed by large fluffy stuffed animals."

The tremendous shape of Ottankdoe stood before Q, glaring at him with impossible geometry.

"Used to people running away and losing their minds simply from looking at you? Not going to happen here. I am one of the highest beings in existence! I am one of seven spared the destruction of higher beings! I _will alter the matter around you to explode!"_

Q raised his hand, causing a seventy story long fluffy stuffed caterpillar to appear in the air. "And you are going to regret interrupting my enjoyment." Q grinned, bringing the caterpillar down.

Ottankdoe raised his… well it might've been a hand...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

T ZLOO ORVH

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: And one day remains in January; January 31: Ottankdoe.**

 **Before anyone asks exactly what happened during the Rainbow Factory RD and Starlight are going on about, we've decided to keep it vague on purpose. All you need to know was that RD was involved, it took the lives of lots of ponies, and RD was eventually responsible for stopping the Rainbow Factory (at a great cost). Since several interpretations of the Rainbow Factory exist (both on fanfiction and on the internet) feel free to insert whatever backstory you feel works.**

 **Now while we won't describe the factory itself, we** _ **may**_ **go into further detail about** _ **how exactly the factory (and Cloudsdale) fell**_ **.**

 **But that is for another time. Now? Now you've got the Eldritch Abomination Ottankdoe walking around on Terra, ready to destroy anything and everything at a painfully slow pace because he thinks it's fun. And *is stepped on by Ottankdoe***

 **FB: First of all. GM has huge monologues. Second of all. FROSTFIRE IS AWESOME!**


	32. January 31: Ottankdoe

**AN:**

 **GM: Ahahahahhahhahahhhhahahahahhah!**

 **THE. FINAL. DAY.**

 **Buckle up buttercup.**

 **FB: THE CREEPY MOON WILL FALL!**

Tuesday, January 31: Ottankdoe

 **~:DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY:~**

The initial blow of Q had initiated resulted in a chuckle from Starlight. "He fights like Discord."

Ottankdoe had quickly retaliated, and then the battle became impossible to watch.

While their minds were protected from madness, they were unable to determine how Ottankdoe was moving, or even IF it was moving, or… what.

For a few hours, they had been watching something they just couldn't comprehend. There was no movement. There was a white spark that was Q and a bunch of… darkness in places that just didn't make sense.

Then the white light just… vanished. Ottankdoe began to… move towards the Metropolis, biding his time.

Tali gulped. She'd seen this.

Q appeared beside them, panting. "That…. didn't go well…"

The Doctor blinked. "What? _What? WHAT?_ How could you lose? HOW?"

"If I knew that I'd probably find a way to counteract it Time Lord. Not to mention the fact that the actions I performed are beyond your pudding brain's capacity to understand." Q found this absolutely hilarious for some reason. Then he coughed. "Ack. Injuries are translating into my body projection… not good…"

River was behind them, rocking. "The song… make the song stop…"

Lightning gritted her teeth. "We've got to do something-"

"We can't." The Doctor responded. " _That_ thing walking towards us is so far above us… It beat the Tardis… We should consider leaving... "

He walked into the Tardis, suddenly yelling and hitting a console. "IT'S JUST LOCKED US HERE." The Doctor growled. "Darn thing is toying with us…"

Luke frowned. "He let you go and get us…"

"More victims the better." Lightning muttered.

"Sick…" Leia said.

Kara frowned. "What I want to know is why this thing was helping us find this planet. Why did it guide us here in the first place? It couldn't have planned this."

Q chuckled. "It wanted to get you to grow into a tremendous civilization that could be coaxed into killing itself, like it did on Ophich. Unfortunately Ophich was too far away from Terra to actually awaken it. So it guided the Colonials and Cylons into a war so the survivors would end up here, and build a civilization that would destroy itself. The entire surface of a planet dying would help him. I threw a wrench into the works by creating the fleet, but the Spirits were able to discern that a great battle would take place in the skies of Terra, allowing them to accelerate their plans…" Q coughed.

Kara stared out at Ottankdoe. "It's awake now. So it's just coming to kill us for the fun of it now."

"The thing could destroy this planet in a matter of minutes if it wanted. Or seconds. I'm not entirely sure…"

Suddenly, the consoles of the Tower began to ring. Anakin answered. "What?"

"We demand that you call off your weapon!" The Prophet of Loyalty yelled.

"What?" Anakin blinked. "You mean the thing that's rising out of the ground?"

"YES! CALL IT OFF. CALL IT OFF NOW OR WE KILL HOSTAGES."

Rainbow Dash and Sei'lep gasped. On the screen were Applejack, Jar'err, and Cavil.

Anakin glared. "Prophet of Loyalty, that is not our weapon. It is what was causing our problem-"

"YOU REFUSE?" The Prophet, obviously panicked (possibly seeing the beast from orbit had some effect) grabbed Jar'err. "CALL IT OFF!"

"We can't.."

BLAM. Sei'lep gasped. "You have no idea what you've just done…"

"I'LL KEEP SHOOTING."

Rainbow Dash stared at the screen for a split second before putting a determined look on her face. "I'll be back."

Starlight blinked, watching as Rainbow dived off the tower, spread her wings, and flew upwards. Starlight's jaw dropped. She really couldn't be thinking of _flying into orbit?_ Not even Alicorns did that! How insane was she?

Anakin tried to talk down the Prophet of Loyalty. "I mean it, there's nothing we can do. The being is coming for us! It is going to destroy us! You too! I recommend fleeing while you can-"

"THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD SAY! DISABLE YOUR WEAPON!"

Rainbow Dash went into Rainbow Power Mode instantly, flying up at ridiculous speeds. The first sonic rainboom was somewhat easy, spreading a disc of color across the sky. She managed to pull off a second one rather quickly as well, increasing her upward speed even further. She squinted her eyes, trying to go faster. _Faster._

She tapped deep into herself, her power pulsing. She called on the Force, providing a small boost. _Not enough…_

She gritted her teeth, growling. She had to get to Applejack before it was too late.

A third rainboom rocketed the sky, colors spreading far and wide. Tali recognized it. _I've seen this too…_

Tears streamed from the pegasus' eyes. She had no idea what was causing them. Strain, grief, or the thrill of flying UP. She didn't care. She just had to get to Applejack.

She reached deep within herself, a new power awakening. She twitched. It felt somewhat like the rainbow power…

In a flash of rainbow lightening, her mane became nothing more than a stream of electric shocks. Her coat became a brilliant white, and any markings on her just simply vanished. Her wings became immense, and she rocketed higher into the sky, sparks continually flying. Rainbooms and explosions were left in her wake.

She felt the air getting really thin, so she wrapped an air bubble around herself with her weather-controlling skills. She stopped flapping, resorting entirely on power to go higher. And higher. Rainbow lightning corsed through the air behind her, lighting up the sky.

She groaned.

It wasn't enough. She was slowing down. She gritted her teeth. She had to keep going-

Then an energy boost hit her. She blinked, recognizing Starlight's magic. "Thank you." She muttered, rocketing even higher into the sky. She began to see stars.

She blasted through the air, and out of the atmosphere. She began to falter.

 _No!_ She thought. She could _see_ the Covenant ships in the distance! She was so close! She had to make it!

She focused her energy again, trying to go further. The energy seemed to burn into her forehead, not able to be released. It gave her a serious headache.

She growled. It was going to go through. Who cared about stupid physical inhibitions: the power was coming _out! She was going to save Applejack!_

An explosion lit up the sky.

The Prophet of Loyalty, getting ready to shoot Applejack, stumbled as his ship shook. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

Starlight looked at the Prophet through the screen. "Prophet of Loyalty, prepare to get your fancy hat handed to you by the Element of Loyalty."

"What?"

Before he knew what was happening the Prophet of Loyalty was impaled by a brilliant white horn, sparking with rainbow electricity.

The shining being in front of him caused him to pass out. Rainbow Dash, her body shining with white power and mane constantly sparking, threw the Prophet into open space. She grabbed Applejack and Cavil. Cavil was placed in the back, where the ride would be the bumpiest.

"Hold on!"

Applejack nodded, just going with it. She had seen a lot. She was no longer phased by much.

A beam of light descended to the planet, stopping just outside the Tower. Cavil and Applejack were dropped in. Applejack nicely, and Cavil rolled like a bowling ball. "Ow…."

Rainbow Dash sagged to the ground, returning to her cyan colored self. She was breathing heavily. "That… Was… AWESOME!" She managed to say.

Starlight smiled. "It sure was."

Applejack whooped. "That was amazin'" Then she blinked. "Starlight?"

"Hi. Nice to see you Applejack."

"Good to see you to." Applejack blinked. "Wait. How are you and Rainbow in the same room and _not_ in a yellin' match?"

"Things… have changed within the last minute or so." She said, turning to the cyan pegasus.

Starlight's eyes widened. The pegasus wasn't a pegasus anymore. Coming out of Rainbow Dash's forehead was a long pointy horn. Her mane was constantly sparking with electricity, and her wings had grown to a larger size.

Starlight blinked. "Wow. She must have really pushed herself."

Applejack nodded. "No kiddin'. I didn't even know you _could_ do that."

"Cadence had to come from somewhere I suppose." Starlight observed. "This is a very interesting thought…"

Applejack blinked, staring out the window. "WHAT IS THAT?" She said, pointing at Ottankdoe.

The Doctor sighed. "Ancient god from before the dawn of time. _Maybe_." He said, catching Starlight's smug look.

The jedi and company began to argue about what to do. Cavil tried to say something about taking control, but Applejack simply bucked him out cold.

The debate went on.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In space, the ships decided to attack Ottankdoe. The Covenant and the Command Carrier fired off first, launching intense bombardments onto the gigantic being. Every bullet that 'hit' the Eldritch being simply turned a strange black color and reflected right back at the ships, impaling them. _All_ the Covenant ships were destroyed instantly.

Aboard the Command Carrier, Scorpius realized his mistake. "BEAM OUT!" He yelled to the com. The Enterprise beamed him and a few of his soldiers over seconds before the tremendous Command Carrier was annihilated by the black force.

Scorpius gaped. "No… NO! NO!" He barely contained his rage.

The Replicators went next, experimenting. They shot a few volleys at Ottankdoe, then disassembled themselves as the reflection came. It didn't matter: they got destroyed just the same.

Cortana frowned. "Their analysis indicates that all their weapons and strategies are ineffective against the being on the surface. They are going to send a few to attack directly."

"By all means." Picard said, a haunting feeling coming to him. "We could use every possible edge."

Aboard the Corzanth, Gim'ran made a wise decision. He had hesitated just slightly longer than Scorpious, and he and the Covenant had easily been blasted out of the sky. Those ships were _beasts._ So, do _not_ fire on the enemy. It went against his very nature, but even he had a brain.

The Replicators descended to the surface...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Don't look at it" Ba'al said, gritting his teeth. "I can just sense that it's just a really big Abomination…"

Ko'al frowned. "I could probably-"

"Can't risk it." Py'al interrupted. "We need you in peak condition."

Ma'al gritted his teeth. "Obviously the thing slowly coming to the city behind us is their god. Hera has succeeded."

Ty'al blinked. "We obviously can't attack it. However… we _can_ still face Hera and the Spirits…"

Mi'al grinned. "Can we hurry up and find them?"

"You won't have to." Spirit Baltar said from behind them. The Ba'als whirled around.

"Oh so there's six of you now?" Hera said. Standing before them was the little girl, with the two Spirits flanking her.

Ko'al acted quickly, poking her hand into Spirit Baltar. She reached inside herself, unlocking the spiritbending. Spirit Baltar screamed, dissipating into nothingness. Ko'al let out a sharp breath. That was good.

Spirit Caprica blinked. She had not been expecting that to happen. She-

-was quickly distracted as Mi'al sent several rainbow colored javelins at her. The Spirit laughed. "Do you really think physical objects can hurt me-"

Mi'al grinned. "No. They're just distracting." Ko'al leapt, driving her hand into Spirit Caprica, causing her to dissipate. "Now." She said, turning to Hera. "You have a body so that won't work…"

Hera grinned. "Of course not. But God has given me the power to face all six of you."

Ba'al stepped forward. "We will defeat you, simply because there is no other way to end this. We have destroyed your spirit guardians and there are six of us, with our own powers, against you, a little girl with just a few psychic powers. Most of us have some kind of power beyond what is normal. I may just be a normal, pathetic human… but the rest of us?" Ba'al smirked. "I doubt they will go as easily."

Hera grinned. "Who said I was alone?"

Dark creatures appeared to her side, driving insanity into the minds of the Ba'als. Abominations.

Ko'al reacted, clasping her hands together, tying the spirits of all six of them together. She panted. "Nice try. But when our minds are linked, it'll take more than a few impossible creatures to take us down." Ko'al shot her hands forward, blasting a mix of fire, electricity, and air at Hera.

The Abominations intercepted the attack.

Hera laughed. "Evil versus Evil. So be it."

Ba'al shrugged. "We're not evil. Just… practical." Inwardly, he was concerned. He had calculated this out without the Abominations present. This wasn't going to be the easy victory he was hoping for...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Replicators arrived on the ground around Ottankdoe. They analyzed the being.

 _Impossible geometry detected. Determine cause. Being is not fully in this plane of existence, or in any physical universe. Compensate for additional dimensions. Compensated. Try to open communication. Ignoring all attempts. Experiment, prod the being physically. Lost 3% of forces to experimentation. Analyzing data. Complete. Not all visible matter is truly the being. Shaping what truly exists in a seventeen dimensional construct. Processing power low. Make adjustments to compensate. Find position of actual matter, look for connection point. Discovered. Attack connection point. Effect observed, although minor. 13% of forces are lost. Begin crafting more forces form landscape. Faction designated "practical" idea: harvest material from the being. Idea approved, send 20% of forces to physical portions of being. 1% success, have enough material for a single unit. Begin crafting. New class of unit, designation "Eldritch" created. Eldritch unit sent into being to harvest more material. Success. Ten more Eldritch units have been created. Continue the process. Faction designated "creative" idea: send Eldritch unit to allies for study. Idea approved. Projected chance of yielding any results: 2%. Determined that any chance, no matter how low, is a worthwhile investment at this point. A hundred Eldritch units have been created, being is starting to notice. Attacks from thirteen separate dimensions are being detected, beyond our capabilities to adapt. Eldritch units having minor success, but unable to resist the force of the being's attacks. Adapt tactics to avoid. 15% avoidance success, projected to not go higher than 30%. Retreat all units, continue analyzing being. Mission failure, being is unable to be stopped. Continue analysis of data until a course of action presents itself._

The Replicators, complete with their now couple-hundred blackish Eldritch Replicators, retreated. Ottankdoe simply continued his extremely slow and deliberate march to the Metropolis.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning growled. "That's it. I'm going out there personally."

Serah, still low on energy, stared at her sister. "WHAT?"

Lightning sighed. "I have to try. I've dealt with similar things before-"

"The Fal'cie never succeeded in summoning their god!"

Lightning nodded. "I know." She looked at Serah. "I want you to know that whatever happens, whatever you do, whatever I do, I am always your sister. That will always be true."

"Lightning?"

"Gotta go." She said, gracing the world with one of her rare sincere smiles. She leapt out of the tower, landing in a field of magic. She cast Hastega on herself a few times, and dashed right at Ottankdoe, ready to give out a beating.

She looked up at the tremendous, impossible, being. Her eyepatch was glowing with a fierce amethyst light. She squinted. "You are going to pay." She yelled, her eyepatch flashing white, and her body becoming enveloped in a strange white energy.

Back at the tower, Q sat up in surprise. "I swear, I just sensed another Q…"

Serah blinked. "I think that's Lightning using your power-"

"How?" Q asked aloud. "Nevermind. How does she expect to win?

Lightning, not knowing how she managed to tap into this new power, sliced at Ottankdoe with a sword much larger than should have been possible. The blade cut into Ottankdoe's substance, and it roared in obvious pain.

Lightning grinned. "Heh. Experiencing pain are you? Well things are about to hurt a lot mor-"

Lightning got hit with something, something strong. She was sent flying miles into the air.

Starlight focused, summoning a magic barrier to catch her. "Man I really hate summoning things from miles away…" She grunted. "This isn't easy to maintain.."

Serah stood up, still weak, aiming her crossbow and shooting at Lightning with a Curaja infused bolt. "I hope that works…"

It did, and Lightning awoke on the magic barrier. She still had the Q energy swirling around her, so she attacked again, attempting to use Army of One.

She didn't get far at all. Part of Ottankdoe simply slapped her miles into the sky again, sailing right towards the Tower. Starlight caught her, and brought her in, setting the exhausted form of her next to Rainbow and Q. The three sat together, out of energy.

A few Replicators arrived at the Tower at that point, with them an Eldritch. The Doctor quickly took the Eldritch one into the Tardis, ready to analyze. The others continued observations with the rest of the Replicators on the planet.

 _Ally designated "Lightning" engaged in direct combat, harnessing power from entity designated "Q". 50% success rate. Substantial amounts of damage to being. Determine if "Q" energy can be synthesized. Probability: 70%. Projected research time: three centuries. Place idea in side projects. Determine if any sources of "Q" energy exist._

The Replicators turned to Q.

"Knock yourselves out in scanning me little bugs. I'm useless right now."

 _Entity designated "Q" is 100% accurate, all energy contained has been depleted to sub-standard levels. Power not sufficient. Continue analysis._

Starlight frowned. "We're not going to win this. We can't. Q is damaged, our greatest powers do nothing, and the being is still coming…" She frowned. "I could initiate a time loop, giving us an infinite amount of time to counteract it…"

The Doctor yelled from the Tardis. "Bad idea! I suspect big and ugly out there can transcend time. Probably won't affect him."

Starlight growled. "What can we do then?"

"I'm working on it!" The Doctor yelled, analyzing the Eldritch Replicator. "There's a type of transcendental rhythm going around, keeping everything just the way Ottankdoe wants it. It's using the psyche of everyone present to…" The Doctor blinked, poking his head out of the Tardis and looking at Q. "This entire planet has a song playing, a song that is using the minds of everyone to turn to violence. And it is also sucking your energy from you. That is why you aren't recovering."

"Oh. Great. Tell me something I don't know…"

"We need to counteract Ottankdoe's… "song." But how… How would we…"

The Tardis beeped. The Doctor knew that beep.

"What do you mean you detect another Tardis?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In the sky above Terra, a blue phone box appeared. The doors opened, revealing an old man and a girl who could easily be mistaken for a boy.

"You know what to do Frisk." The old man said, putting his hands in his pockets. "Help the pudding brains."

"Of course Doctor." Frisk said, taking a blue ocarina out of her pocket. She took a deep breath, and began to play a song. A song of memories, a song of forgiveness, a song of patience.

A song of a world sealed away beneath the ground…

 _Why is your head down dear friend?_

 _Take my hand, and now instead_

 _A world of passion lies ahead…_

 _A place where freedom reigns_

 _And love has made it's stay_

 _Why choose to hurt when you could live?_

 _Come now and let's try again_

 _And make a couple friends_

 _This world is harsh when you're alone!_

 _And in the end you'll find_

 _No one gets left behind_

 _If you just take the time to…_

 _Care._

Ottankdoe's song retorted, scraping the minds of all around into a focused force against the song of peace.

 _Rip out the organs_

 _Burn up the corpse_

 _Time to be violent - come bring your worst!_

 _Rise up the anarchy_

 _And shake up the hurt!_

But Frisk played diligently, her song resonating into the minds of everyone on the planet. A message of peace. But Ottankdoe's sheer power was too much.

"Good." The Twelfth Doctor said, turning to the Tardis console. "Now let's see if my younger self has enough of a brain to figure out what to do…" He flicked a lever, causing the Tardis to broadcast the song with it's mind as well. Ottankdoe tried to attack the Tardis directly, as it did before.

The Tenth Doctor, sitting in the Tower, grinned like a maniac. "Oh I am absolutely BRILLIANT!" He ran to the Tardis console, grinning. "One Tardis can't do it. BUT TWO? ALLONS-Y!" He shouted as he flicked a lever, pressed a few buttons, and squeaked a horn.

The Replicators heard it too. _Counter frequency detected. Most successful of any attempt so far. Faction designated "abstract/absurd" idea: have all units, including Eldritch, play frequency. Idea approved. Executed._

Ottankdoe stopped moving for a moment, visibly roaring in frustration.

Anakin grinned. "That did something!"

Q groaned. "Still feel like crap over here!"

The Doctor frowned. Ottankdoe must have a source of power hidden somewhere… Secluded… His eyes widened. He whirled to the Eldritch Replicator. "We need a way to detect things like you…"

Starlight's horn flashed, an amethyst glow enveloping the blackish machine. Her eyes widened.  
"There's a large concentration of this kind of… whatever it is three miles that direction." She said, gesturing with her horn.

Anakin frowned. "But we have nothing that'll be effective against it… Lightning and Q already gave it their shots, and we don't have anything else with that kind of power…"

Yoda spoke up. "Energy, we have. A Force being, Q is. Connected to Q, we are. Defeat the abomination, together the ten of us can."

River squealed in glee. "The ten are here! We shall be strong as one!"

They turned to the one of their number slumped on the ground, the pegasus-turned-alicorn Rainbow Dash. "She's not in a position to fight…" Djehuty observed.

Starlight looked at the barely conscious Equestrian in front of her. Her horn lit up, and a pinkish light surrounded Rainbow Dash, and the cyan alicorn stood up. She now stood at a height slightly taller than Starlight, and her wings had most definitely grown. She shook her head, blinking.

"Good GOSH I'm sore… I felt like I went to the moon and back… Anyone got some asprin?" She grinned.

Everyone had a light chuckle at this. Even Starlight. "You go to extreme lengths for your friends." The unicorn observed. "I am sorry for judging you how I remembered you. You already faced your punishment." Starlight said, suddenly conscious of the many scars lining Rainbow Dash's stomach and wings. "I don't need to add to it. You've recovered. You are no longer that horrible person."

Rainbow smiled. "Eh.. don't sweat it." The alicorn grinned. Starlight knew the scarred pony was just putting on a front, but she let it slide anyway.

Rainbow Dash turned to the others. "NOW! I hear we've got to go destroy a god! SOUNDS FUN! Where do I start testing my new powers?"

Starlight pointed. "That direction. You ten theoretically have the power that is effective against this type of enemy. All you need to do is sever the foothold, whatever it is."

The ten of them, Luke, Leia, Ahsoka, Anakin, Yoda, River, Rainbow Dash, Odo, Djehuty, and Kara, stood together, before leaping into the Metropolis.

They ran past confused people, who were doing nothing more than staring bewildered at their destroyed city. The Metropolis was no longer a scene of needless violence and destruction, Ottankdoe's hold on the people had been broken. It was now a somber place where loss was visible to all, and lives realized that they'd just been destroyed.

The ten jedi, users of the Force, became only more determined as they saw more and more destruction.

They couldn't let this being destroy what little remained. They couldn't let it destroy other worlds. They had to stop it.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ko'al was the last one standing. Blood dripped from her mouth.

Ba'al, Ty'al, Mi'al, Ma'al, and Py'al had all fallen already. Their glowing spirits were somehow strung around Hera's neck like a necklace.

They wouldn't be resurrecting unless they were freed.

Ko'al roared, calling upon the spiritbending, and charging Hera. The girl simply held up her hand, causing an Abomination to charge into Ko'al and ram her into the ground. Ko'al began to laugh.

It was all pointless, really. Nothing mattered anymore. The... Abomination was the most hilarious thing in existence. Perhaps there was some-

The onsetting madness triggered something inside her, causing her eyes to glow a blank white. She rose into the air, staring at Hera. "You are going to pay for what you have done to us. Prepare to suffer, Hera Agathon."

Hera blinked in surprise. "Very interesting. But seeing as my 'parents' are most likely dead, the last name means nothing to me anymore. It meant little to begin with. And your power will be squelched."

An Abomination skewered Ko'al through the chest. She screamed in agony, light pouring out at all angles. She sagged, slumping to the ground. Hera reached out, drawing the spirit from the body. "Heh." Hera grinned.

Then something small and green landed on her face, kicked her, and drew a short lightsaber. She leapt back, Abominations crawling out of the ground in her wake. She squinted.

"Fast, you are. Fast enough, you are not." Jedi master Yoda said, an old smile creeping up his face.

Hera quickly realized this was a setup, but it was too late. Rainbow Dash crashed into her full force, impaling Hera's chest with her new horn. The Eldritch girl felt the impact with full force. Hera gagged, slumping.

Rainbow Dash smirked. That was easy-

Hera suddenly moved with lightning speed, ripping herself off the horn, grabbing Rainbow Dash by the wing, and launching her into a nearby ruin. Hera grinned. "You hit me. The other six took a long time before they achieved that. But..." She grinned as the hole in her chest repaired itself. "But I am protected by God. Your pathetic weapons will not harm me."

Suddenly, River was standing before her. "Your healing factor takes time to assert itself. Therefore if we destroy you fast enough you will not be able to recover. Isn't that delightful?"

Hera growled. "You. You are a problematic one."

River giggled. "Are my powers unexpected and unpredictable? Yay!" River began a mad flurry of attacks, cutting into Hera left and right with her extendable blade. Hera growled.

"You know something else I know?" River asked.

"What?"

"I'm going to lose this engagement."

"Then why are you bothering?"

The only response Hera got was a disturbing giggle from River. Hera roared, kicking River away, knocking her silly. The Abominations swarmed the deep-blue blade wielding jedi.

Hera growled as Luke, Leia, Anakin, and Ahsoka mobbed her at once. She managed to send out a blast of black energy to deflect their attacks, but they continued their onslaught.

Anakin found this all amusing. "So how do you like River?"

"She is abhorrent." Hera muttered, floating into the air and firing dozens of black shards at the jedi.

"Your kind can't stand each other. Most interesting." Anakin grinned, stabbing Hera in both legs, causing her to squeal. Luke winced. Evil in the body of a little girl. It was... scarring. They had to defeat a little girl to save the universe.

This Ottankdoe really knew how to play with people.

Ahsoka and Leia were, surprisingly, not having any problem. They were attacking over and over, though Leia's inexperience was still evident. Hera shot out a pulse of blackness, shoving the four of them back. She was enraged, her eyes turning into a dark black. "You cannot defeat me! You have nothing!"

"Hera Agathon." A deep, serious voice said, seemingly from nowhere. "You are under arrest for genocide, torture, murderous intent, deceptive leadership, and odor. Please turn yourself in quietly."

"IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?" She yelled, trying to find out where the voice was coming from.

"No, actually." The voice said, as a nearby rock shape-shifted into a gatling gun and fired at Hera repeatedly. Odo chuckled, launching his curved saber deep into Hera. "And with that-"

"-we annihilate you." Djehuty said, firing a recently-modified zat gun into Odo's lightsaber, causing a field of Force energy to surround Hera.

Quite simply, it resulted in an explosion.

Hera fell to the ground, panting. Kara walked up to her. The woman who was supposed to be dead glared deep into the girl who was the "savior of humanity."

"We lost dozens of lives to save yours."

Hera said nothing.

"We went on an impossible mission to save you."

Silence.

"It had seemed like the right decision. We had found a home. We were going to raise you and live."

Kara's face darkened further.

"And. _This._ Is. How. You. Repay. Us." Kara gestured at the destroyed city. "All this hope you gave us, this home, the chance to survive against the Cylons. It was all for nothing."

" **Quiet whelp."** Hera said, in wavering and deep voice. " **You deserved nothing. You deserved death. This was all for one purpose: to raise God from his slumber."** Hera was no longer visibly a human, but instead a strange humanoid figure with cracks all over her body, where black light came streaming out. " **AND HE WILL NOT BE DENIED BY THE LIKES OF YOU!"** The fracturing being floated into the air above them, smoke wisping around her. The Abominations vanished. " **You will die. Right here. Right now. And I will** _ **extinguish**_ **your** _ **souls.**_ "

 **~:Hera:~**

 _Fracturing Messiah of Ottankdoe_

Anakin stepped back. "Oh boy. Here it comes."

Hera took one look at Anakin and enveloped him a laser of darkness. He screamed in agony, falling to the ground. Rainbow Dash, Kara, and Odo stormed Hera all at once, driving their lightsabers deep into her.

However, this time, they seemed to have no effect whatsoever.

" **I have shed my mortal shell, fools. I am an impossibility, a thing that cannot exist."** She sneered. " **You cannot hope to do** _ **anything.**_ " She let out a pulse, driving the three jedi into the ground. Rainbow Dash got back up, going into Rainbow Mode and then quickly into her new power, turning her coat a brilliant white. She shot a laser out of her horn, impacting Hera directly, before electrocuting her left and right. She finished it off with a rapid succession of sonic rainbooms.

Hera still floated in the air, seeming nothing more than slightly annoyed. " **That was..."**

Odo turned into his gelatinous form, surrounding Hera with it. He then changed his substance into solid iron, smashing into the ground with a thunk.

Hera punched out the top of Odo, obviously not happy with the changeling. "You are really-"

River was suddenly behind Hera, smashing her left and right and driving her lightsaber into her at impossible angles.

" **How are you able to** _ **surprise**_ **me?"**

River smiled an innocent smile. "I have absolutely no idea." She performed a series of rapid kicks on Hera, smashing her into the ground.

River soon discovered that Hera had grabbed her leg, digging her claws into it. " **DIE!"**

River screamed as her leg was ripped from her body, and she dove face first to the ground. Rainbow Dash wasn't having any of this, charging back down, driving Hera into an abandoned lot a few dozen yards away and hitting her with what amounted to a rainbow nuclear explosion. This was followed by Kara shooting Hera from a distance and Djehuty firing his zat cannon, enveloping Hera in another Force explosion. Yoda leapt up, moving faster than Hera could see. He managed to force her into the ground, and slice deeper into her.

The demonic girl rose into the air, blasting them with impossible attacks.

Luke, Leia, and Anakin charged Hera, the father leading the charge. Hera caused a few explosions to ripple around Anakin, taking advantage of his injured state.

Anakin just _smiled_ as she did this. Hera briefly wondered why on earth he was smiling when Luke and Leia tried to attack her directly. _What a stupid plan-_

She quickly found that her skull had just been punctured by both of Ahsoka's lightsabers. The bone (or what was left of it) fractured like an egg, revealing a sort of black fire underneath with piercing white eyes and a glowing mouth. The exposed fire seemed to drain the light from the very air around them. Hera roared, attempting to retaliate only to have one-legged River perform a series of punches and kicks, driving the diminutive demon into the earth. River activated her saber, cutting right through Hera's chest.

The rest of the skin fell away, completely revealing the black substance beneath. White cracks coursed all over what might be considered the demon's skin, while the murderous eyes stared into all their souls.

" **All you have done is shorten my existence. I still have plenty of time to destroy you."**

"Oh yeah? HEY SHORT AND SHADY!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

Hera turned ready to destroy the annoying alicorn.

"BUCCANEER BLITZ!"

What followed was Rainbow Dash performing a midair buck mixed with rainbow electricity. The result was so blinding that nobody saw exactly what happened.

As the light cleared, Hera, now with many more white cracks in her black substance, was floating, obviously ticked off.

Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves. "I'm impressed. I don't think anything I've met could survive that, except for possibly Disc-"

The rant was interrupted by a tiny demon's fist driving Rainbow Dash three feet into the earth.

" **YOU. FOOLS. DO. NOT. DESERVE. TO. BE. PLAYED. WITH!"** Hera roared. " **I SHALL JUST DESTROY THIS ENTIRE BLOCK!"** A dark energy began to appear within her hands. " **There is nothing you can do-"**

"Wrong, you are." Yoda said.

" **Little green gremlin I do not have the patience for your ramblings..."** Then Hera noticed that the ten jedi, injured or not, were standing in a complete circle around her. Then all ten of them pushed forth at once with the Force.

She choked. " **What... what... this... hurts?** _ **How?"**_

"Connected to Q, we are." Yoda responded.

"And Q is a Force being, once one of many." Ahsoka continued.

"But guess what girly?" Rainbow Dash grinned.

"He's the _only one_ now." Kara smirked.

"And that means we can channel _raw_ Force energy into you, or Q energy if you prefer..." Leia continued.

"...and we know it hurts you. We're defeating you." Luke finished.

River giggled.

Hera scowled. " **You fools think this is enough? This is nothing! NOTHIN-"**

"Humph." Odo muttered.

"It _would_ be nothing..." Anakin said.

"That is, if the Replicators hadn't been building an amplification device all around us the entire time we've been fighting." Djehuty gestured to the tall towers of Replicator blocks that had risen in a mile-wide ring around the battle.

River looked up from her injured position, continually holding out her hand with the Force. " _I_ lost. _We_ win."

Hera began to ready an attack, not even going for a monologue.

The ten jedi pushed forth with more power, white light enveloping Hera. She screamed in agony.

"NOW!" Djehuty yelled into his arm band.

The Replicator towers lit up, firing beams into the glowing ball of Force energy. Hera's screams rose in pitch until they could be heard no more. The six spirits around her neck simply shot into the air to their destinations. Hera slowly fractured into a million tiny pieces, no longer able to hold cohesion.

Then, with a tremendous explosion, Ottankdoe's power anchor vanished from this world. The hold the being had held on Q since the start ended.

A circle of energy began to appear, separating into ten sections. Each of these sections formed themselves into a very particular symbol, and went to each of the ten jedi. Anakin recognized the symbol he put on a pod racer back when he was a young child. Luke recognized the symbol of the jedi. Leia recognized a symbol that looked like her hair loops. Ahsoka recognized the designs on her forehead. Yoda recognized the symbol he had used in the clone wars. Rainbow Dash recognized the symbol of Caprica burnt into her neck. Kara recognized the coordinates she typed in for Terra. Djehuty recognized his Goa'uld symbol. River recognized a firefly. Odo didn't know what his symbol was, exactly, but it was very... interesting. Like a shield with lots of circles inside it. Intricate.

Q was suddenly drawn to where the ten jedi stood, enveloped in the Force energy. He felt his rather handsome body image torn from him, revealing the true Q beneath.

 _Well I hope nobody's brain explodes from seeing this…_ He thought, laughing at the image of little Jonny Luke Picard's brain exploding. He'd fix it later if that happened-

Then his rather immature thoughts were halted by a sensation creeping across him. A gigantic starfleet symbol appeared in the air above him, and he felt himself _spreading_. Matter and energy, his dominion, had always been limited to a region a few hundred light years from where he actually was. He now felt as if every bit of his being was spreading across all reality, all matter, and all energy.

Everywhere.

It was a bit much for even _him_ to take in. Suddenly, everything. _Everything._ Was visible to him. Matter and energy, the cosmos itself.

He felt the other six Remaining watching him, their feelings ranging from "Oh no he didn't just get _more_ powerful" to "as it should be."

He quickly realized that when he was looking at all of reality, he couldn't really focus on anything aside from the other Remaining and... well all of reality itself.

He focused in, taking on his favorite physical form. He smirked, zooming into the Andromeda galaxy, into the Terra system, and onto Terra itself.

He appeared before Ottankdoe, in his signature human form. He smiled. "Say! How's about we play around of cosmic billiards? I've always wanted to do that. How's about you be the cue ball?"

Ottankdoe actually responded to him.

" **NEWBORN ENTITY. THIS IS MY DOMAIN. LEAVE OR FACE-"**

"Oh I'm worth talking to _now_? So it took me getting a serious software upgrade to become anything even worth of your attention? Excuse me for a second while I think about this. Hrm. Herm. I want to play cosmic billiards and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

" **I CAN-"**

Q generated a brilliant white lightsaber in his hand, shaped it into the shape of a baseball bat, and swung.

Even though the lightsaber bat didn't even _hit_ Ottankdoe, he went flying into the sky at faster than light speeds. He impacted the sun. Which exploded. Ottankdoe was still intact afterwards, and really, _really_ ticked.

Q snapped his fingers, reforming the sun around Ottankdoe. Ottankdoe exploded it again, but Q simply snapped his fingers again, dramatically yawning.

This went on for several minutes, Q continually making corny remarks along the lines of "burnt out yet?" and "O tank DOH!" and "nova I'm gonna help you." and "that was bad. That was a bad line. Forget I said anything."

Q shot several giant stuffed caterpillars at Ottankdoe whenever he got particularly bored.

Eventually, the forces of the star's core (and the caterpillars) became too much for Ottankdoe. He roared a roar that could be felt in the souls of everyone on Terra, before simply vanishing.

Q reformed the sun one last time, and dusted his hands off. "A job well done."

Terra erupted into cheer.

The jedi whooped, celebrating despite injuries.

Those remaining at the Tower did several happy dances.

The living people of the Metropolis felt their minds return to normal, any insanity brought on by Ottankdoe being drawn out. They didn't know why, but they felt like dancing as well.

In space, the captains of the remaining ships had their own celebrations. Some danced, some simply smirked, and the Replicators… did nothing.

Saul smiled, sitting back into the control chair of the Battlestar Galactica. He sighed. It was over. They were finally safe, and free from influence. He laughed.

Far away, in a cabin in the woods, Bill Adama and Laura Roslin smiled. They didn't know why, but they suddenly felt as if everything they had done was finally safe.

[][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Ko'al awakened, freshly resurrected. She choked. "I do... _not_ wish to experience spirit imprisonment again..."

The other five nodded. "Terra was a close call." Ba'al said.

"Ah but we got out fabulously!" Ma'al responded.

Py'al sighed. "What is it with you and that word?"

"My body is from the DNA of an internet celebrity on Earth. _He_ is fabulous."

"I think you've got something mixed up." Mi'al retorted.

"NOPE."

Ty'al frowned. "We failed. Nothing changed. Terra is all but destroyed, our mission was a complete failure, and we have nothing to show for it. Nothing whatsoever. And the people of Terra probably have our bodies and can figure out what we are. The secrecy of the new Ba'al era is over."

"We lasted a month, at least." Ba'al observed.

"Time to go into full force." Mi'al said, smirking. "I'll push the clone facilities into overdrive. The time for hiding our little invention here is over. All will know of the infinite Ba'als."

Ba'al nodded. "We will spread far and wide. The Ba'al race will sweep the cosmos, and the universe will never be the same."

"IT WILL BE MORE FABULOUS!"

"Ma'al! Quit ruining the moment!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight stood the stargate up, smiling. It had survived, despite everything.

Those Ancients really built these things to last.

Lampkin was standing behind her. "So... this device will connect us to the rest of the cosmos, if Lightning's data is correct."

"Yeah." Starlight said. "I'd recommend using it. You need help recovering. Even though the Replicators are rebuilding your city lightning fast, you still have people you need to worry about. We can help with that."

"I'm sure the Galactic Republic would love to seek further relations with you."

Starlight shrugged. "We're signing an official treaty _tomorrow_ so I think your window for joining has ended... But we can certainly stay in contact."

Lampkin nodded. "Until we meet again, Starlight Glimmer."

Starlight waved, turning to the others standing there. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Lightning, and Serah.

Starlight sighed. "I'm sorry Rainbow, you can't come back with me. They still don't want you."

"I know." The alicorn said. "Especially now that I look like _this..._ not like i'm good at using magic though..."

Applejack put a leg over Rainbow, comforting her. "It'll be fine."

Starlight looked at Rainbow Dash's horn. "I can teach you, if you want."

Rainbow Dash's eyes lit up. "CAN I TRAVEL THROUGH TIME?"

"...maybe eventually..." Starlight said, even though she meant NO OF COURSE NOT in the most horrified voice possible. "I don't know when I can come back though, seeing as Twilight, Luna, and Discord want nothing to do with you. I'll see if Lyra's open to sending me here more often though..." She looked at Rainbow Dash. "For the record, I think you're nowhere near that horrid person everyone remembers. Like so many, you've been redeemed."

"Like yourself, bird brain." Rainbow Dash said, grinning.

Applejack let out a sigh of relief. "Finally, someone other than Scootaloo doesn't hate your guts..."

The mention of Scootaloo caused the other two ponies to look away nervously. Applejack went "eep" and shut her mouth.

Applejack turned to Lightning and Serah. "What are you two going to do?"

"Tomorrow we are leaving to look for our home." Lightning said. "We will explore the universes looking for a way to cross back to Gran Pulse. Basically go adventuring. I have some people I want Serah to meet."

Serah smiled. "And I... well I just can't be here anymore." She said, trying desperately to hold onto the smile. "I've just got to get... _away..._ "

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Hey, mind if I join you on your adventures from time to time?"

Lightning shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Starlight facehooved. "How can I teach you to use magic if you go adventuring randomly?"

"You'll find a way." Rainbow said dismissively. "Plus, just use your Time Bowl if you ever get annoyed."

"Without a location lock time is very much in flux!"

"You'll figure it out." The alicorn grinned.

Lightning patted Starlight on the head, a shock of electricity letting loose as soon as she did so. Both went "Ow!" Then they laughed.

Starlight giggled attempting to say something about magic field overload before regaining control of herself. "Well, I'm off to Equestria. See you around!"

The stargate activated with a KAWOOSH. Starlight sent an identification spell through before trotting in herself. She turned, waving goodbye one last time.

Then the stargate shut down.

Applejack shrugged. "Well I'm staying here for a while. I'm going to get that apple tree farm to produce apples if it's the last thing I do."

Everyone had a good laugh at this.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Doctor was in a funk.

"What's up Doc?" Shepard asked, trollface evident.

The Doctor dramatically waved his arms. "The other me didn't even say hi! Who doesn't say hi to themselves?"

"Sane people?" Shepard offered.

"You know what I mean." The Doctor huffed, standing up and pacing. "The thing is now I have no idea WHY I came back to this time so I'll just have to guess it later and that is a situation just filled with paradox possibilities... Unless he's already gone through this and decided to let me suffer... Why on earth do I like pranking myself? It's never fun to the other versions of me..."

Tali rolled her eyes. Madman with a box indeed.

Wrex interrupted. "Shepard, what are we doing now?"

"Staying for a few days." Shepard said. "Wait for the Hoseki to provide us with a dimensional drive through the stargate. Then continue looking for home. It's in _a_ version of the Andromeda galaxy. With any luck we'll find it quickly before Gim'ran blows a gasket."

"I can confirm that Gim'ran is definitely likely to blow a gasket if he has to wait any more than a few hours." Tali responded.

Something exploded in the sky above them.

"Or he blows the gasket now. That works too. Detonating random missiles in dead space does have a way of relieving stress, I'm told."

Wrex chuckled. "You have no idea."

"You were the one who told me that Wrex. I have some idea."

"No, you don't."

As Tali and Wrex began their back and forth banter, Shepard simply sighed. This was going to take a while...

[][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"...and we should be able to form the Galactic Republic by tomorrow." The Rebel leader told Luke. "Including the Rebel Replicators, at your request."

Luke nodded. "That is good. This war actually resulted in something worthwhile, in the end."

"It was extremely bloody..."

"But the Empire ended. The Republic will return. We have new allies, stopped a possible universal menace before it truly got started, and now have the key to the rest of the multiverse."

The two nodded.

"And we have ten new jedi masters in the order, powered by a Force being." Luke chuckled. "I can feel his power surging within us.. I'm not even sure he's aware of it-"

"Ha." Q said, appearing behind Luke. "Not aware of it. That's a good one. You ten ring like bells in a graveyard. I can hear you from an entire galaxy away. Plus, you have this annoying ability of just coming together and summoning me. Gah."

"It's ueseful-"

"I'm not your personal deity that'll do everything you want. You should know this, little Lukey."

"Yes, Yes I know." Luke rolled his eyes. "The jedi order won't treat you like a deity either. We do not serve you, even if you have _become_ the Force."

"Matter and energy conversion, that's all it is. I am the Entity of substance." Q laughed. "Beyond your petty human comprehension."

Luke rolled his eyes. He walked to the jedi training chamber, where the other nine waited.

Luke smiled at Anakin and Leia, a father and his daughter, sitting together, talking. Djehuty was helping River out with her new leg, though it was becoming obvious she didn't need help. Kara was actually _riding_ Rainbow Dash, going "YEE-HAW!" Luke knew them being on good terms wouldn't last long, but it was nice to see. Odo and Ahsoka were talking about their races, basically getting into a "my world is better than yours" match. And alone Yoda stood, watching the jedi. Luke walked up to him. "So, master Yoda-"

"Call me master, you do not need to. Masters, you all are. Within you all, the energy of Q is."

"We still need you to teach us the way of the jedi..."

"May be true, that. But, use the old way, we will no longer. A new era, this is. An era of balance is here."

Luke blinked. "Did you just say a sentence normally?"

"What you are talking about, I do not know." Yoda said with the slightest hint of a smirk.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Do we have promise?"

"Than I have ever seen, more than."

Luke smiled.

He had great hopes for the future.

Then Q summoned a giant stuffed caterpillar onto him. "Sorry Lukey but I must be off to explore the cosmos with my new powers. Ring me only if you have to, k? k." Then he vanished. Luke blinked at the giant stuffed caterpillar that was now in the training chamber and definitely wouldn't fit in the door. He sighed.

"...hi."

Luke blinked. Did he really just hear that?

The caterpillar stared lifelessly back.

Luke quickly decided he hated the thing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Djehuty stood before Lampkin. "I have several thousand Unas under my rule. I can easily get them here to repopulate your world."

Lampkin blinked. "...reptiles?"

"Well yes. What were you expecting humanoid chickens?"

The Doctor, who was in a nearby room, indignantly shouted that Djehuty shouldn't mock the Featherians. Djehuty ignored him.

Lampkin considered this. "We do need to repopulate..."

"To keep a balance I think you'd want to open Terra to immigration from across the universes. As an out of the way place within the Galactic Republic, but also as a place those from outside the galaxy can come to. It will take time, but much can be accomplished."

Lampkin nodded. "I will keep your advice under advisement."

Djehuty nodded, leaving. Lampkin grinned. The Goa'uld hadn't noticed that his hand weapon had been taken. Great!

Outside the office, Djehuty sighed at his blank wrist. The President really needed to get that kleptomania under control.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Doctor stood before Anders.

Anders rattled random nonsense back.

"...adjust central tower, compensate for ice. The toaster oven will rise. The Outer God watches, and the Dorito plots. Sonic Screwdriver thinks there's something to hear in the ramblings of an insane organic machine. End of line. You don't want to go."

The Doctor smirked. "Aha so you do recognize some input after all. Very good. Now what about-"

"You are a pudding brain. Greetings from the other side. Silence falls. Noodle bagels. Entertain Lampkin's pie desires. Forget all that exists, and remember all that doesn't. End of line. End of line. Four pieces out of three..."

The Doctor frowned, and took a seat. He would be here a while.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"So, amazing and powerful Q, you are fully realized. How do you feel?"

"I feel like you need to tell me what your plans are. How can you plan that?"

" _You_ can't. _I_ can. That's what's great."

"Three are fully realized."

"You are fully realized, tin can."

"Time displacement is not factored into the calculation. If it were, five of us are fully realized."

"The girl foresees an eighth."

"The girl knows nothing. The iterations cannot deviate that much."

"What the heck do you guys mean by iterations?"

"If you have to ask, you cannot be told."

"Screw allll of you. I'm going exploring with my new powers."

"Go forth."

"I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL."

"Good luck with that bud."

"Can someone get the girl and 'first is last' over there to get in here?"

"Impossible. Both are-"

"We do not need another long explanation idiot."

"As you wish."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][

/errors: 0

/get timeElapsed

/03:04:18:23:13:35

/search:

/temporalPotential

/ "1: Claire Farron. Enter 'more' for more results."

/select 1

/settime: 2/2/12

/println("And so the great explorers settled into their home, defeating the great evil that had guided them.")

/println("But the tale is far from over, for this was nothing more than a set up for what is to come...")

/println("For time is about to crash, changing everything...")

/println("And the wheels turn…")

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][

QHAW PRQWK: ILERQDFFL FRGHV

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: Wow.**

 **A full month, done.**

 **I really didn't take into account the length of this endeavor when I started it, did I? Eheh…**

 **Anyway, thank you all for joining us on this journey. All you followers, all you favorites, all you reviewers, and all our friends who read this stuff without doing anything. :3 You are all great.**

 **We are still planning on sticking to the schedule and publishing Feb 1 within the week, but after that we're taking a** _ **little**_ **break. (no more than a month). We expect to publish Feb 2** _ **on**_ **Feb 2, but that could easily go south.**

 **Thank you all for reading.**

 **We'll be back soon!**

 ***THE END crushes GM***

 **FB: BUBUUBAAA! WELCOME TO THE END OF JANUARY! Enjoy your wait for Feb 2!**

 **TD: this thing is going to be almost 12 freaking books… whagh. SO HUGE**

 **GM: update! Due to several things we've come to realize, February 2 will likely be the** _ **last**_ **chapter of 2012. We will try our best to tie up many loose ends, but there was just way too much going on to keep track of and deal with. (and for readers to actually enjoy)**

 **Won't say too much right now, but the 2012 story is going to be considered "Broad strokes" for our next project. How exactly will be explained in Feb 2 itself.**


	33. February 1: Treaties

**AN:**

 **GM: Well, we're doing it. Here's February 1, the first day of a brand new month. A new story. A new book. A brand new tale begins as the previous one ends… Or that was the original plan anyway. In reality we're using Feb 1 and 2 to wrap up what we can, before moving on. Again, this will all be explained fully in Feb 2.**

Wednesday, February 1: Treaties

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Raw magical energy coursed through the air, hanging above the heads of the three combatants. They stood, circling each other, staring deep into the eyes of one another.

The first was a young woman, amethyst hair blowing in the breeze. She had a gunblade christened the Blazefire Sabre, which she currently held to protect her chest from incoming attacks. An eyepatch covered her right eye, a mostly featureless black object save for a faint imprint of a chevron symbol. Her fully functional eye was extremely focused on the battle, and her free hand was ready to reach towards her chest to fling out magic spells. She wore an an an unusual coat which seemed to be part trenchcoat, part coat of many pockets, and part dress shirt.

To her side was a lavender coated unicorn mare with streaks of purple and blue in her mane. The Equestrian's horn was alight with the power of magic, and her face contorted into a look of deep thought. She had her four legs spread out, ready to move in any direction at a moments notice, and her tail was constantly flicking left and right. She waited.

"You two are boring." The last combatant, a cyan alicorn mare, said. She stood slightly taller than the unicorn, with a more pronounced horn and impressive wings. Perhaps what stood out most about her, aside from the fact that she was _an alicorn_ , was the fact that her mane was lit up with all the colors of the rainbow, and was constantly sparking with multicolored electricity.

"Boring?" The woman said, arching her eyebrow. "Really, Rainbow Dash?" She reached her hand to her chest, calling upon her magic power. She opened her hand, sending out a blast of fire. "Firaga!" She yelled, completing the powerful fire spell.

Rainbow Dash simply flew above the spell, laughing. "Aaaaaand _she misses! Bwaha!"_

The unicorn facehooved. "Rainbow! We are not practicing your _speed_! We are practicing your _magic!_ You need to use your _horn."_

"But Starlight-"

Starlight sent a ray of magical energy from her horn straight into the alicorn's side, knocking her into a wall. "Use. Magic. Darnit!"

Rainbow coughed. "Uh… okay!" Her horn lit up with many colors, and she shot out a laser. Starlight simply raised a shield.

"Lasers are old school Rainbow. Sure, they're easy and effective and just channel raw energy, but they are also easily deflected and dodged and- would you stop shooting me with them? It's hard to talk and block at the same time."

"That's the idea." Rainbow Dash grinned.

Starlight facehooved. "Lightning, do something…"

"Slow." Lightning said, causing time to come to a crawl around Rainbow. "There. Now your speed is negligible. _Use_ your magic. Both Starlight and I have instructed you on how to use spells. Just _use_ them!"

Rainbow Dash, turning her head at a turtle's pace, lit her horn up. A ball of fire collected on the end of the horn, and shot towards lightning. Lightning raised a hand, grabbing the Fire spell out of the air. "Progress." She said, her face stoic.

"Ohhhhhh cooooommmmeeeeee ooooooonnnnnnnnn!" Rainbow yelled back in slow motion. "Thaaaat waaaaaaaaassssss aaaaaaaaa goooooooooood oooooooneeeeeeeeeee."

Starlight shrugged. "It was progress at least. You can speed her back up now."  
Lightning did so, which resulted in Rainbow running into a wall. "Ow…"

Everyone watching the battle/training session laughed. Rainbow Dash grumbled. "I'm the freaking alicorn here! You all should fear me!"

An orange pony came up. "We… don't fear ya."

Rainbow Dash sighed before chuckling. "Yeah. I suppose so Applejack."

Luke Skywalker, current "leader" of the jedi, walked up to them. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to stick around?"

Lightning nodded. "Serah and I have to go. We have a home to find."

"And I'm going with!" Rainbow Dash said, grinning.

"But you're a jedi-"

"AND I CAN SPREAD THE WAY OF THE FORCE ACROSS THE UNIVERSES!" Rainbow Dash said, flapping into the air and striking a dramatic pose. "I'll see if I can find new Force-sensitive people to become jedi, all that good stuff. Plus, we'll be in touch."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "You and your flair for the dramatic…"

Lightning smirked at this. Then she frowned. "I think it's time to say our goodbyes now. SG-1 is no doubt getting impatient waiting for us to get done here-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT!" Colonel O'Neil, leader of SG-1,l yelled from the sidelines. "We've been sitting here for an hour watching you do training! We have placed to be, things to do!"

"Actually we do…" Daniel Jackson, the archeologist, said. "There's a treaty signing we have to be at later today."

"Wait. There _is?"_ O'Neill said, obviously surprised. "Hrm. I'd rather stay here and watch epic magic fights. Continue."

High Mage Miranda Marlowe rolled her eyes. "Do you WANT an epic magic fight? I can give you one. I have the power."

"Eh your flavor of magic has gotten sorta boring."

Miranda blinked. "BORING?" She twitched. "FROSTFIRE!"

"Yes mom?" The gunslinging Gari said, anticipating an order to destroy something.

"Burn/freeze this imbecile while I think of an appropriate retort."

O'Neill found himself frozen and burning at the same time, then released while Miranda mocked him for his old age and possible senile brain.

Tea'lc, the Jaffa, raised an eyebrow. "Unusual customs you have High Mage Marlowe."

Marlowe shrugged. "Wait till you meet my husband. Things get really weird then." She turned to Frostfire. "Now, go blow something up for your good old mom!"

"ALL RIGHT!" Frostfire yelled with glee, running out of the room.

Miranda chuckled. "Ah, to just go around blowing stuff up… I miss it…"

Samantha Carter shook her head in confusion. "What? You blow stuff up all the time-" Then she heard the magnitude of the explosion Frostfire initiated. Carter blinked. "Oh. I guess you don't really blow things up that much…"

"Exactly." Miranda grinned. "Now, Everyone should say their goodbyes while we take them to Earth. They have quite a story to tell us, one I'm sure O'Neill will absolutely love to hear."

"I'm going to hate it." O'Neill grumbled.

Miranda grinned playfully. "Now what gave you _that_ idea?"

"The fact you said I'd love it, technicolor hairdo."

Miranda blinked. "You should have saved that insult for Rainbow Dash."

"So? I'm flexible."

At this point Daniel tapped O'Neill on the shoulder and pointed out that everyone was staring at them.

O'Neill groaned, turning to glare at the Goa'uld jedi Djehuty. "I blame you for this."

Djehuty chuckled. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"Because I blame you. I just feel like blaming you lizardy."

Djehuty shrugged. "Do as you wish."

O'Neill grumped. "We're leaving in an hour." He yelled over his shoulder. "Come with or not."

Daniel binked. "That's nowhere near enough time to study the Furling ruins-"

"We will be leaving." O'Neill said, waving his hand. "We've seen enough. Send SG-13 to this place. All the reptiles running around are starting to get to me."

"Racist much?" Djehuty interjected.

"Hrm. No. Unless it's against you and your kind. Still don't trust you."

"That is probably best." Djehuty said, nodding sadly.

SG-1 left the room with that.

Lightning climbed onto Rainbow Dash's back. "Let's go get Serah." She said. Rainbow Dash nodded, extending her wings and taking off into the sky.

Starlight rolled her eyes, before following SG-1. She should probably get to that treaty signing as well, come to think of it.

As the various peoples left, Luke frowned. He had a treaty signing to go to as well, although of a different sort. The New Republic was about to be instated. He had to be there along with his father, Anakin, and the Terran president, Romo Lampkin, to represent Terra.

He'd probably have to make a speech of some kind. He still had no idea what he was going to say. He should probably think harder about that…

"I'm going for a walk." He told no-one in particular, and he stepped out into the world of the Metropolis. It was hard to imagine that, just yesterday, this place had been in shambles. But with some help from the Alliance, Rebel Replicators, and Djehuty, they had managed to rebuild the buildings. The Metropolis had much more character now: no longer were the buildings simple copies of each other, each one had it's own shape and design dependant on who decided to repair it. Even the Replicator repaired buildings had variety, seeing as their base code had been changed to incorporate variety and choice into their decisions.

The other major difference was that while the Metropolis was emptier than before, there was much more variety in the kinds of people that were there. No longer was it predominantly human with a few aliens thrown in here and there, now it was mostly aliens, and aliens from other universes to boot. Djehuty's Unas roamed the streets en masse, while Gari, Fey, and other races visited from the Hoseki system and the Alliance. There were a few Nox helping rebuild, and some of the sentient plants of the Hoseki system had taken up residence in the Metropolis, strengthening the buildings with their growths.

A Wingding had shown up last night, a boy with large glasses. He had used his ability to distort and shape metal to create them a sculpture: a gigantic sculpture showing the ten jedi and Q facing off against Hera and Ottankdoe, with a representation of a Replicator tower placed on either side of the sculpture.

Luke wasn't sure how he felt about the sculpture. He also wasn't sure how he felt about the stargate being right next to the sculpture, right where everyone could see it. He could see SG-1 standing around it, playfully bickering with each other in their unique way.

He looked at the rings the Alliance people were constructing around the stargate, at Lampkin's request. Apparently Terra was going to become the hub of universes, the world that connected everything. A world on the outside of the New Republic with stargates and universe gates all over.

A neutral ground.

Luke admitted he liked the idea, though he wasn't sure he agreed with Lampkin trying to set it up so fast.

Though, Terra really did need new population… The place had been decimated…

He frowned at the memory of the horrible tragedy.

He had to help kill a little girl to just keep the planet together.

What other horrible things existed in the cosmos?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Rainbow Dash landed outside Applejack's farm, where Serah was staying for the moment. Serah ran out and hugged her sister. "ACK! Serah! Again? REALLY?"

"Of course!" Serah said, grinning. "Shall we go?"

"Saying goodbye to everyone first." Lightning said. "But we decided to pick you up now."

Serah nodded. "Of course!"

Lightning smiled sadly. She knew Serah was trying really hard not to ruin the moment for Lightning. Serah no longer wanted to kill Anakin (Or as she knew him, Darth Vader) but she really, _really_ didn't like him or this place. She wanted to leave.

But she wanted Lightning's last moments here to be as happy as they could be, and not leave a terrible taste in the usually so stern woman's mouth.

Serah was just a really nice person. Lightning wished she was half a good of a sister to Serah as she was to her.

Rainbow Dash blinked. "How am I going to carry both of you?"

"I can cast float on us." Serah offered. "It'll make us virtually weightless."

Rainbow Dash thought this over. "Can you cast it on me?"

"I don't see why not..."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Commander Shepard?" Garrus said, confusion evident in his voice.

"Yes Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"There appears to be-"

"-BWAHAHHAAHA!" Joker broke into laughter from the cockpit. "Guess what commander? WE'VE GOT A SPACE HORSE FLYING AT US! With Lightning and her Sis on board! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH oh this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen."

Shepard chuckled.

Tali blinked. "H-h-how on earth are they surviving in the vacuum of space? How are they flying? How are they changing direction? How? HOOOOW?"

Wrex rolled his eyes. "Don't get your brain in a knot. Just accept the reality of the situation. There is a unicorn/pegasus hybrid flying at us without obeying any laws of physics."

"Let them on board." Shepard said, walking to the cargo bay. "This should be interesting."

Lightning and Serah stepped down from a whooping and hollering Rainbow Dash. "THAT. WAS. AWESOME! Floating actually makes it EASY to get into space! Well easier…. my wings are pretty sore…"

Lightning walked up to Shepard. "Commander."

"Lightning."

"Good to see you."

"Likewise. Can we drop the soldier talk now?"

"Of course." Lightning said, a smirk appearing on her face. "Hello Shepard, how you been?"

"Good. You know. Did a whole lot of nothing in an Empire-Replicator war, had to put up with Gim'ran, saved the galaxy by pushing a button. Same old. Same old."

"I was there."

'That's why I'm telling you." Shepard said, grinning. He turned to look at Serah. "Look… I'm really sorr-"

Serah held up her hand. "No hard feelings. You did what you felt like you had to do." She smiled sadly. "Though please, next time? Aim for the leg."

Shepard chuckled. Wrex grinned. "I shoot her and she jokes about it. I like this one. Can we keep her?"

Serah rolled her eyes. "Sorry! Stuff to do, things to see. Home to find."

Lightning nodded. "We will see each other again, that you can be sure of."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "And I'll be fast enough to race your ship at that point!"

"HA!" Joker yelled from the cockpit. "FAT CHANCE!"

"I'LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT ONE DAY SMART MOUTH!"

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"

"YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

Lightning held up her hand. "We don't have time for this right now. We will see you all at a later date. Bye!"

Serah did her signature "cute wave" with her hand as they departed.

Shepard smiled. Lightning had found her sister. He was happy for her.

Now if only his life was good…

"SHEPA'ARD!" A voice yelled over the com. "WHEN ARE WE GOING?"

"LATER GIM'RAN!"

"HOW MUCH LATER?"

"LATER!"

"WHEN?"

"LATER!"

"WHEN?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Admiral?"

"Yes Data?"

"There appears to be an alicorn flying in space outside our ship with two passengers. They are making hitchhiking gestures."

Picard sighed and Cortana broke out into laughter.

"Beam them in." Picard said. "I'll meet them in the transporter room. Send for Ambassador Spock, they're probably here to see him."

Minutes later, Spock and Picard were standing in front of Rainbow Dash, Lightning, and Serah.

Spock held up his hand. "Live long and…"

Rainbow Dash put on a pair of sunglasses "...SWAG." She instantly started laughing. Serah blinked.

"What on earth…?"

"Do not question their rituals, Serah." Lightning warned. "They are sometimes even weirder when explained."

Spock nodded his head slowly. "I take it you all are leaving to find Gran Pulse?"

"We're sure as heck going to try." Lightning responded.

Rainbow Dash grinned. "And I'm coming along to scout for Force-sensitive people! Though to be honest I'm just in it for the adventure!"

Spock nodded. "Go enjoy yourself."

Lightning turned to Picard. "What are you going to do now?"

"I will continue to be Admiral of the Terran fleet… for a while. As the New Republic is solidified there will be no need for a Terran fleet and it will simply be absorbed into the New Republic military." He smiled. "I will be taking the Enterprise out to do what it was meant to do: explore the cosmos. The Hoseki have already agreed to drop us off in another universe if we want. Perhaps we shall join the Normandy and Corzanth on their quest when they leave in a few days."

Lightning nodded. "I wish you well, Admiral Picard."

"Likewise, Lightning." He turned to Rainbow Dash. "And I must thank you and your colleagues for saving us all from Ottankdoe."

"Aw… don't sweat it."

Picard held up a hand. "You deserve rewards more than we can offer. If any of you need anything, just ask. I will see what I can do."

Lightning nodded. "I'm sure we will take you up on that offer. Eventually." She saluted.

Picard saluted back.

"See you around." Rainbow Dash called. "LIVE LONG AND SWAG!"

Serah blinked. "But you already said that-"

"So what? I like to mix it up sometimes."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 _Analysis indicates that alicorn is flying in vacuum without protection. Does not compute. Ignore for now, cannot analyze anyway. Subjects are leaving territory soon. Prepare for treaty signing, creating tool designated "pen." Preparing Replicator signature…_

 _...ten minutes have elapsed, signature is a fractal pattern reminiscent of branching and growing for eternity, but with a break in the middle signifying the nature of choice, afterward_

 _the signature's pattern grows more complicated and complete._

 _Signature approved._

 _Send request to Normandy, Corzanth, and Enterprise to send a ship with them on their journey. Prepare to send other Replicators through the stargate hub being constructed on Terra._

 _Mission objectives: Replicate, Expand, Develop, Learn, Explore, Peaceful Contact, and Assist. A new age of Replicators has begun, and the cosmos will remember us as separate from our brethren._

 _Begin research into Q energy. Analyze all findings, cross reference all information. Discover the secret of energy beings. Analyze Eldritch units._

 _Progress…_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning, Rainbow Dash, and Serah stood in front of the stargate. Applejack, the jedi, and Lampkin were there to see them off.

Applejack walked up to Rainbow Dash. "It was good to see ya again."

"It really was." Rainbow Dash said, grinning. The two hugged, then waved farewell.

"AJ! Maybe you should start growing pears!"

"APPLES FOREVER!" Applejack retorted.

Rainbow Dash said goodbye to the jedi, and did a "brohoof" with Kara.

Lightning simply nodded to everyone, saying goodbye in her quiet way.

Serah waved. "GOODBYE ALL!"

Miranda activated the startage with her magic. "Here we go…"

KAWOOSH!

From atop the tower, Anakin Skywalker watched as the three of them left to explore the cosmos. He sighed.

He had lived, and apparently Serah had been content to just leave him here.

He should have been punished. From what he got out of Applejack, Rainbow Dash had already been punished in some way for her crimes, though the earth pony wouldn't say how. But Anakin knew that the punishment had been full of suffering.

Him? He didn't get punished at all. His daughter was warming up to him, his apprentice completely forgave him, and his son had always seen the best in him.

Didn't they realize that the Dark Side of the Force had to hold onto _some_ desire within him for violence?

Some of that killing really was what was inside him, what he truly was. Perhaps not all of it, perhaps not even most of it, but some of it had to be part of him.

He got off without a single mark on him. People didn't remember him as Darth Vader, just remembering him as the jedi Anakin Skywalker that vanished at the end of the clone wars, and re-appeared just when the world needed him to help defeat Ottankdoe.

He was actually a hero to everyone.

It felt so… alien. It felt good and bad at the same time. He did not deserve this, no matter what his son or apprentice or anyone else said. But he would take what he got, and strive to be the best he could be. He would _be_ the hero that everyone thought he was. He would take control of his life, and help others wherever he could find it.

"Created from dark times, the best heroes are." Yoda said from behind him.

"How- nevermind." Anakin said, shrugging.

"Need sorrow, you do. Be a great man, one with an easy life cannot. Strengthen you, hardship does."

Anakin sighed. "I deserve punishment."

"Fitting punishment, an eternity serving others is."

Anakin blinked. A self-imposed punishment where he spent a complete eternity serving others.

Good _gosh_ Yoda was wise about these things.

Anakin stood up tall. "I shall do what I can."

"No more than that, I ask."

Anakin nodded.

A new age was dawning. And he, Anakin Skywalker, would change with that dawn.

He would bring balance.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Welcome back to earth!" O'Neill said, a grin on his face. "Today postcards are three dollars off, gift cards can be found in the lobby, and for just twenty bucks you can get your picture taken in front of the stargate."

Daniel facepalmed. Serah giggled. She was really glad to be off of Terra. Away from _him._ A new life had opened up for her…

Lightning blinked. "So people who come to Earth get a look at an ugly place deep beneath the ground? How interesting."

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Of course."

O'Neill looked at the alicorn and frowned. "She's not going onto the surface. People would freak out at a talking unicorn-pegasus."

"Why?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Most people don't know aliens exist. It's a bit of a secret." Miranda commented, changing her appearance to that of a human. "I could put an illusion on Rainbow Dash, but her real size and shake would make it… problematic."

O'Neill shrugged. "So! CAMPERS! What are we here to do?"

Lightning looked right at him. "Colonel, I'm here to pick up my ship, the Crimson Blitz, which some government organization or other picked up when it crashed. I'm also here to retrieve a companion of mine, a certain fal'cie named Lyre. I left him with some people."

"Don't recall any ships crash landing…" Carter said. "But I'll see what I can find."

"What people?" O'Neill asked absent mindedly, as he investigated something in his teacup. He decided to go ahead and drink the dubious liquid.

"Olivia Dunham… Peter and Walter Bishop… Philip Broyles…"

"I've heard of Broyles." Daniel said. "He's running some top secret FBI division."

"Fox Mulder…"

O'Neill spat out his tea with an excessive amount of force. Lightning blinked. "Congratulations, you have managed to spit right into my eye and also create a running river of… whatever that is under my eyepatch. I am most displeased with you and am about to punch you."

"Lightning…" Serah warned, but too late. O'Neill got socked in the face. Lightning flexed her wrist. "Now that my dignity has returned to a normal state of being… EXPLAIN WHY YOU SPAT INTO MY EYE."

"Fox Mulder. You met Fox Mulder."

"Yes."

"And talked to him and told him about space and aliens."

"Yes."

"And he's involved in a top secret FBI gig now."

"Yes."

"We are all going to die." O'Neill muttered.

"Now sir…" Carter interjected. "Mulder isn't a _bad_ person. He just…"

"Jumps to conclusions. Easily. He told you the Asgard were bent on world domination didn't he?"

Lightning shook her head. "Actually, he drew a distinction between the Asgard and the aliens he's been dealing with. From the information on the pad I gave him-"

"You. Gave. Him. A. Pad." O'Neill said. "A. Pad. Of. Information." O'Neill slapped his thigh. "Well why don't we just broadcast the information planetwide then? Give everyone a nice pamphlet to the universe! Tah-dah! Whoop-de-do!"

"Wow. What on earth did he do to you?"

"The dolt doesn't know how to keep his nose out of our business." O'Neill muttered. "He ended up in Honduras with us…"

"I suppose you're mad that I left my magic crystal companion Lyre with him?"

O'Neill blinked. "So that's what that was…"

Carter gawked. "Your companion? THAT was your companion? We've been trying to track that thing ever since the mission in Honduras! It appears all over the world and comments on people with strange overdramatic titles…"

"Sounds like Lyre allright." Lightning rolled her eye. "I want my ship, I want to check in on Mulder and see what's up, and I want to get Lyre back so he can fly the dumb ship." She turned to Serah. "By the way, _where_ is _your_ ship?"

"Crashed. Got out. Then it exploded. My Fal'cie died after a clone trooper shot it."

Lightning sighed. "Well, you got any way you can get us to the Fringe division in Manhattan inconspicuously?"

O'Neill perked up. "Can we use the cloaked spaceship?"

Carter sighed. "Let's just use a government van…"

"Enchanted with "uninteresting" of course." Miranda offered.

"Of course."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Act natural." Olivia said. "Just because a large mysterious black van has pulled up does not mean secret government agents are here to take us out."

"I have the befuddlement bomb ready." Walter said, grinning.

"Good." Scully said. "Everyone have their immunization pills taken?"

"Absolutely!" Mulder said, sitting nonchalant. "Let us meet whoever comes in with open arms and a calm demeanor. Got the guns loaded?"

Peter nodded, clicking his guns. "As usual."

Olivia fretted. "Guys! This could be completely normal! Just. Act. Natural!"

"My dear, you are the one not acting natural." Walter observed.

"I'm perfectly fine!" Olivia said, twitching.

Peter rolled his eyes. "They're coming…"

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Peter answered the door. "Yes?"

"I am Colonel O'Neill and… I can't say it Carter. I just can't say it."

Peter saw the female officer next to the Colonel sigh. "Sir, just say it. We don't have all day."

O'Neill grumbled. "You do it."

"Sir, you are the ranking officer."

"I uh- Eh. Fine." He turned to look directly at Peter. "I'm Colonel O'Neill and I'm here to see Fox Mulder."

Mulder ran into the doorway, a stupid grin on his face. "Ah! Colonel O'Neill! Daniel Jackson! Samantha Carter! Murray!"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Indeed."

"And... " He looked at Miranda, who was in human form. "Very interesting. I don't recognize you. I was expecting the girl."

"She transferred." Miranda responded.

"HE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!" O'Neill reminded Miranda.

"Actually, he gets to know because I say so and because I have friends in high places." Lightning said, stepping into the light. "Long time no see, Mulder."

Mulder blinked. "Lightning? Lightning!" He grinned. "I… I am so sorry… something happened. I don't remember what…"

Lightning frowned. "You don't remember the House?"

"No… I remember getting to Gravity Falls and then entering the hotel, you were gone by then…"

Lightning frowned. "Something's up… As soon as we get my ship we're heading to Gravity Falls to go to Spooky's House. Though I'm just tempted to blow the place off the face of the earth."

Walter yelled from the back. "SO CAN I USE THE BEFUDDLEMENT BOMB OR NOT?"

"No need." Mulder said, grinning. "I think we're about to get some answers. Come. Tell your story."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Daniel Jackson was the only one left standing to Mulder's unending questions.

He was running out of patience. "Look I know this is a lot to take in and understand at once. Seriously. We can give you the files and all the reports that aren't specially sealed away. Read those instead of questioning us for seventeen more hours…"

"Reports can be adjusted to your liking." Mulder responded. "Personal inquiry allows me to detect lies."

"But hey!" The voice of Lyre said, speaking for the first time. "I can comb through _alllllll_ those reports if you just give me the key One of Two Ls."

O'Neill frowned. "I hate this thing already. I already hated it, but now I hate it even more. Can someone please shut it up."

"Oh Colonel Snark, please forgive me for coming up with such awesome and amazing titles. I'll be fine, trust me. Or don't, and give me the codes anyway so I don't have to hack your systems. They keep biting me."

Lightning looked around. "Lyre where are you?"

"In the system! IN THE INTERNET! I am a planetwide being now! WOO-HOO! Look at me One of No Destiny, I am possibly the most influential being on this entire planet at this time!

AHAHAHHAHAHAH!"

Lighting was a bit taken aback. "You've… changed Lyre."

"I know! It's awesome!"

Serah giggled. "I like him already."

Lightning sighed. "Well better pack up Lyre, I'm having these fine fellows get the Crimson Blitz and we'll be off."

"I want to stay."

Lightning narrowed her eyes. "You have to fly the-"

"I can tell you how to hotwire it."

Lightning blinked. "That's possible?"

"You can use magic can't you? Of course it's possible! If one of our kind were incapacitated there are of course ways for a l'cie or magic user to pilot the craft on their own! Yeesh. Do you think we are stupid?"

"Your kind did try to summon a god by sacrificing an artificial moon filled with people."

Lyre was silent for a moment. "...point taken."

"By the way I encountered one of these 'gods' that are awoken by that kind of thing. Almost destroyed the planet."

This set Lyre off. "Oh blasphemy! Our lord was not a mindless being of destruction, he crafted us from the mindless crystals that laid across the cosmos! We are the Fal'cie, perfect mix of machine and magic, of nature and progress! We were… we were…. honestly doing something rather stupid. I mean a little over a month ago I was just a pilot Fal'cie and couldn't care less about you vicious flesh-bags of the rock. We had felt like we had become stagnant, that nothing would ever change. We thought that sacrificing you would result in progress, a thing we hadn't experienced in years. And we didn't actually think you were _important_ in any way… Then of course I was dropped off here. And I found the INTERNET! And I found the Agents of Fringe Mysteries and X or Something. We should have watched you more closely. We should have realized what you were: something that could be alongside us… Something else…"

Lightning smirked. Not many Fal'cie had seen the error of the Sanctum's ways. Those who had were destroyed by the Sanctum before their mass sacrifice plan was even put into motion. Only a few surviving Fal'cie had willingly joined humanity in the new world.

And now Lyre was among them.

Lightning took a breath. "You can stay, long as you tell us how to hotwire the Cirmson Blitz."

Lyre rattled off a set of instructions. Serah took them down. "Thank you Lyre!" She chirruped.

Peter blinked. "Your sister sure is very chipper, Lightning. You're like complete opposites."

Lightning smirked. "Yeah. I suppose you could say that."

Mulder was still busy grilling Daniel. Daniel was getting tired. "Miranda, can you take care of him?"

Miranda shook her head vigorously, but Daniel shoved her in anyway. She sighed, dropping the illusion.

Mulder stared in fascination. "Truly alien… this is amazing! What race are you?"

"A Gari." Miranda responded.

Mulder continually rattled off questions.

O'Neill groaned. He really, really didn't like Mulder getting all these answers, but what can you do?

A few moments later, Broyles walked in. "I hear you're giving my agents a briefing?"

"Yes yes…" O'Neill muttered. "More like let's answer all Mulder's questions session. Good gravy…"

"I should probably return the favor. You see, we are dealing with an alternate universe…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning stepped out of the lab and left the building to breathe in some fresh air. The information exchange going on within the lab had gotten far _far_ too complicated to keep track of. They had their enemies from other universes and other stars to deal with. She just had to find a home. She was mostly sure the alternate Earth was _not_ Gran Pulse, so she'd have to look elsewhere. Let them exchange info.

She just needed to get her ship back…

She blinked. in the air in front of her, a woman's hand was poking out of some kind of window. It had a pen in hand, and was writing some kind of note.

 _Come around the building. We have the Crimson Blitz._

 _~Cain and Iris_

Lightning readied her weapon, and headed into the back. Standing there were Cain and another young woman with a camera, presumably Iris.

"Well? Where is it?" She asked, defiant.

Cain shrugged. He pointed to the l'cie mark on his forehead. "Answers first."

"Obey the Focus given to you by the Fal'cie and you will be bestowed with eternal life in the form of becoming a crystal. You will eventually "thaw" out after a random interval of time and be able to do what you fish. Defying the Focus will generally either turn you into a shambling monster or an immobile stone. Both are called Cie'th. It is possible to openly defy a Focus, but doing so is almost unheard of and requires an immense amount of determination, power, and luck."

Cain nodded slowly. "So I have to protect you from something?"

Lightning smirked. "Yes. Yes you do. Problem is I don't need protecting and my life is not in any danger. You are probably very, very doomed."

Cain shrugged. "That is all I needed to know. Your ship is in a garage three blocks that direction. We couldn't turn it on."

"Well, of course. You generally need a Fal'cie to run it."

Cain's eyes twinkled. "So that's what Lyre is…"

"Don't get any ideas. I plan on leaving the planet shortly." Lightning smirked. "Far away from you and your Focus."

"How long do I have?" Cain wondered.

"The mark will continually get more arrows on it, and eventually the eye will open. When the eye opens you are running out of time. Days at that point. Otherwise, I've heard of l'cie lasting a year or so. Then again, that's just how mine worked. Yours looks different."

Cain frowned. "I think I got it. Now go before the Foundation decides to change its mind and imprison you."

Lightning nodded, walking away.

[][][][][][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][]

Serah was befuddled by the complete information dump. (Or perhaps that was the befuddlement bomb that Walter accidentally dropped.) She didn't understand jack squat about what was going on. Other universes, space wars, and alliance, and-

VWUMUMUMUMUMUMUMUM

Everyone ran outside, to see Lightning piloting the Crimson Blitz right outside. Many people were staring.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" O'Neill yelled. "This is a public place!"

A teenager snapped O'Neill's picture with a phone.

"You will hand that over-"

The kid just took off at a run, cackling something about "Twitter will love this."

O'Neill frowned. "Can Lyre remove all trace of this from the internet?"

"YOU BETCHA!"

"I wasn't talking to you Lyre."

"But…"

"Can someone other than Lyre tell me his capabilities?"

Peter sighed. "Yes Lyre can take care of it."

"Good. Tell him to do it."

"ON IT!"

O'Neill chose to ignore Lyre's enthusiastic response. He turned back to Lightning. "Now, pinkie." He said, gesturing at Lightning. "You are going to take that ship and leave right? Good. No more headache-"

Lightning grinned. "I have an idea. How about I give you a lift to the Alliance Treaty Signing?"

"How are you going to do that? That ship can't fit all of us! And it could only fit through the gate if it folded up-"

Lightning snapped her fingers, causing the Crimson Blitz's wings to fold in. Then she gave them all an evil smirk.

"Mini." She said.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A brief stop over Gravity Falls revealed that Spooky's Mansion was just… gone. Lightning growled.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Utopia Base, the largest thing ever built by the Hoseki. It was basically an artificial planet, a hastily slapped together globe of metal that made up a very confusing, yet oddly beautiful, structure. The globe itself had at its "north pole" a large tower that poked up into the stars, looking around. The rest of the structure was hidden within the infinite mazes of the Base. Around the base were the six gigantic Worldships, the crowning technological achievements of the Hoseki. They orbited Utopia Base, guarding it from all who attacked. The six ships _never_ left the System: their purpose was defense only. They didn't even have FTL or Dimensional drives, just a ton of weapons and armor plating.

The six of them all detected a small ship flying out of one of the stargates positioned on Utopia Base. They began to raise the alarm, but a quick scan revealed that it contained some expected people.

Who were much smaller than normal.

Now, it was a certain Wingding's birthday today. A fellow known as Gabe who was going to try and enjoy the treaty signing. He was walking by the Utopia Base stargates when the Crimson Blitz came sailing out, almost running him over.

"Hey!" He yelled. Then he blinked as several midget people crawled out of the tiny craft. They looked like Sprite Fey without wings.

"What the heck…?" He wondered aloud.

"Esuna." Lightning said, resetting everyone to their default sizes.

Mulder was like a kid in a candy store. "This structure is amazing! Absolutely amazing! An entire artificial planet! In an artificial system! Which is outside reality! Amazing!"

Scully was a bit dumbfounded by it all, speechless.

Peter seemed unaffected, and Olivia just had a headache.

Walter, on the other hand, just frowned. "So there are those with the power to simply wipe us out without a thought…"

O'Neill butted in. "Hey! We do a pretty good job protecting you lot!"

"There's multiple alien threats and a transdimensional threat coalescing around Earth." Walter observed. "You need to do better."

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed."

Daniel sighed. "We try our best."

Miranda grinned. "WE SHALL PUNCH THEM!" She blinked. "Since I'm here I should probably go check in on my husband… if he's here. Be back in a flash!" She teleported away in a flash of light.

Rainbow Dash poked her head out of the craft. "Am I allowed to come out into the open now?"

"Sure." O'Neill grunted. "This place isn't Earth so do your worst."

"I could try to blow it up."

Gabe got control of himself. "Do not try to blow Utopia base up! Please! We have enough trouble with Demise already! Just… let's get you all to the meeting hall. The signing is in a few hours…"

[][][][][][[][][][][][][][]

Miranda teleported into her house. Well, her house on Utopia Base anyway. She had another one on Inchari. She looked around.

"A mess. As usual. All the time in the world and he doesn't pick up. _Ever._ " She smirked, cleaning up the room with a few split-second spells. "Better." She walked around the room, examining the pictures of her husband, a seemingly young human man with paradoxically grey colored hair and ancient eyes. There were pictures of her children and stepchildren around the room as well. Frostfire was the only Gari among them, the others had turned out human. There were a few Fey in her stepchildren though.

She shrugged. Marrying a time traveller had some issues when his previous wife's children existed in this time. It was very, _very_ confusing.

She liked it that way, honestly. Made life interesting.

She decided to call up her children and stepchildren. Well, they were _all_ her children now seeing as Selena was gone.

"Hey Celia, how's it going? Still working on those new sound powers of yours? Good… Yellow let Celia talk. Yellow. Stop it Yellow. Ugh. Fine Yellow you deserve a nice chocolate. Now let Celia talk so we can get back talking about things…"

"Frostfire, done blowing up Terra yet? ...you already moved onto another planet. That's my girl! Remember to tick off the annoying leaders!"

"Paul? Hello? ...Yeah didn't expect you to pick up."

"Ah Siphon. How's life? ...So let me get this straight: you are one of the most powerful beings in existence and the girl dumped you for being too _sloppy?_ Explain this to me."

"Hello Andromeda. You better not be- Goodness gracious I wasn't going to suggest that! I was just going to suggest- Why are you giving me all these ideas of things you most explicitly _weren't_ doing?"

"Bridget- Oh. You're in 1976. Okay. Fine. I'll not bother you. Dad with you? No? Fine. Talk to you later."

She hung up the phone. "How on earth did I call her in 1976…"

"Compliments of the Doctor." Her husband said, sitting in the doorway.

"Habby!" Miranda grinned, tackle hugging/kissing him. "How long's it been for you?"

"Two seconds. I've just come from three years in the future." Habakkuk, better known as the Traveler, answered.

"Ah." Miranda said, chuckling. "How's life been?"

"You know, stopping one time problem after another, butting heads with Illumirie and her group, teaching Bridget. You know."

"Why is she in 1976?"

"I told her to exercise her patience by watching a water tower. She's been there for a decade. I'm just waiting for her to get tired of it…"

Miranda shrugged. "Perhaps you could just go to that location now to see if she's still there…"

The Traveler shrugged. "Eh. Don't feel like it. Just helped Illumirie patch up a hole in spacetime. Kinda wiped. How has your life been?"

"Oh you know. Saving the world, blowing up spaceships, creating new spells to blow up armies. That sort of thing."

The Traveler chuckled. "Ah yes… we are quite the couple aren't we?"

"Life certainly doesn't make much sense." She took a can out of the pantry. "This thing's due date is next century."

"Probably overdue by a millennium. Wouldn't trust it. Just order something from the tubes."

Miranda shrugged. "Of course."

[][][][[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Mulder was examining _everything_ about this place.

Billboards. "MIKKI'S NEW HIT SINGLE: RAINBOOM" "EDIBLE STRAWS!" "TOAST CORNER: CAN AN ANCIENT AI GIVE LIFE ADVICE?" "NEW ARENA TOMORROW: SIPHON VERSUS DESTINY." "TREATY SIGNING TODAY! GET YOUR MERCH!"

"This civilization seems heavily focused on entertainment and leisure." Mulder observed.

Gabe shrugged. "That's mainly here. This is our area - the Wingdings I mean - and we get bored a lot. We're mostly immortal and have kinda become heroes for hire at this point, just wandering around looking for adventure. This is our place. The other planets all vary dramatically."

"Why is this your capital?" O'Neill asked.

"It was either this or Hoseki itself, and putting something on the surface of that star is just about impossible."

Carter was obviously trying to work out how to get something on the surface of Hoseki.

Rainbow Dash pointed. "Hey look! PEOPLE I RECOGNIZE!"

Ahsoka and Garek waved them down. "Hello!" Garek said. "I am Garek, a simple tailor accompanying jedi master Ahsoka to observe the proceedings."

Ahsoka grinned. "Didn't expect to see you all here. Figured you'd be heading home."

Lightning shrugged. "I have my ship back. Why not take a look at the Hoseki System treaty signing? It'll just be a day. Why are you here?"

"Observing the Treaty Signing for the New Republic… which will exist in a few hours."

Garek smiled. "Simply here to observe, m'lady."

Serah tugged on Lightning's sleeve, squealing. "THEY HAVE COTTON CANDY FLAVORED STUFFED ANIMALS!"

Lightning turned to Gabe. "Need any money of any kind?"

"Not today. Today is a kind of festival." Gabe grinned. "Not only is it treaty signing day, it's my birthday. Ba-BAM! I'm now… uh… well I actually don't know due to time travel. Thirty-something."

Lightning blinked. "You look fourteen."

"Immortal." Gabe responded. He pointed. "And that is the auditorium where the signing will take place. You all should get a seat. I have to convince Janet to do my speech for me. See ya."

Everyone began to take their seats….

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

In another universe entirely, Luke stood up.

"With this document, we sign so we can end the needless fighting, the endless war, the bloody conflicts. At long last, we have the option to bring peace back to the galaxy, peace after decades of destruction and misery. The Empire has fallen, and together we can rise up to create a Republic greater than the last. A New Republic.

My Father, Anakin Skywalker, was a jedi who fought for the old Republic. He fought in the wars long and hard, watching as the way of peace fell apart around him. He grew sick with the ways of the Old Republic, and determined that their ways were not the correct ones. Decades later, he now knows the Empire was even worse. We are going to strive to piece together a Republic free of the corruption and frailty of the Old, we can make a better world. We can make a balance.

Our Galaxy will unite. We will stand together, as an example of what can be done. The other nations of the universes will see us, and look onto us with admiration. They will say 'this is the way things should be done. This is what peace should be like.' We will rise up to be the Galaxy all come to find peace from their conflicts, to find haven from their pain. We will be the safe zone.

Terra will be our front door, and our galaxy will be the peace everyone seeks. We will be what our predecessors could never be! A safe haven to others!

We will be _the_ Galaxy. The other universes call our galaxy the Cosmic Andromeda Galaxy. I suggest we call our Galaxy something else: The Haven Galaxy. Haven will be a name engraved in the history of the cosmos!"

He signed the document. The Rebel Replicators signed the document. Other members of the New Republic signed the document.

It was complete.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The audience sat quietly as the thirteen representatives gave their speeches for the Alliance.

The Vulcan ambassador went first, a man named Sevok.

"We are a young people compared to many of the members of this alliance. Our minds may be true and logical, but we can easily see that there is much value in a pooling of resources. Differences mean nothing: they are simply obstacles to progression, to completion. Our race is one almost completely founded on logic and reason, while many of yours are devoted to emotion or the arts. Logic dictates that approaching a single problem from many angles is bound to produce better solutions. Let us work together then, for better solutions to cosmic barriers." He quickly signed the document.

A Tellarite came up, the ambassador known as Hern.

"I look forward to arguing long into the night with each and every one of you." He gave out a hearty laugh. "I really do want to see what kinds of minds you will bring to the table. And the new horizons that have been opened up because of this will produce many, many conundrums for us for years. I should thank each and every last one of you for giving us Tellarites more to debate. It is what our race lives on." He chuckled, signing the document.

A half-reptilian Hebridian came up. "The Hebridian Commerce has grown much over the last month. We were once a small civilization simply lucky enough to avoid the Goa'uld and their wrath, content to just do business amongst ourselves and deal with our own internal affairs. Then a few years ago we met SG-1, and our eyes were opened up to a wider universe that contained more than just humans and Hebridians. We began to explore, to go out into the world and use the stargate. What we found scared us: other human worlds falling to the Goa'uld, and only a handful of races that could even do anything to them. There was us, Earth, the Tollans, and the dastardly Aschen. The rest of the human worlds lived in darkness, unable to do much of anything to the Goa'uld. Now, most of the human worlds stand united under the Hebridan Commerce, a single nation of many worlds spread out across the galaxy, ready to defend itself from the Goa'uld. Our economy has never been stronger, and we have never felt better." He signed. "This is an amazing opportunity for all of us."

The Tollan ambassador, a woman named Nerys, simply signed the document. She looked to the audience. "Speeches are sentimental: you all know what this means. We will rise as the strongest power in the known universe. We are the Alliance."

Thor stood up to represent the Asgard. "We have been watching the state of the universe for millennia now, watching without hope as evil races plundered and destroyed. As the galaxies turned to darkness, as peace was lost. As threats rose and peoples died. Then we saw a tiny light in the darkness: the people of Earth, fighting for what they could. They had taken up the mantle of the ancestors and managed to discover many things, advancing faster than we ever thought was possible. Like the Vulcans, our race is based on logic and technology. However, we have come to realize that this is a bit of a weakness: the people of Earth, starting with nothing more than their sheer determination, have managed to be the biggest thorn in the side of destruction in countless millenia.

They were the key to finding all of you, all of the other members of this alliance. Without them, I doubt any of us would be here today. We are all here because their team SG-1, stopped a hundred years war on the world of Diqiu. Just a small handful of people managed to change the course of multiversal history. This is an event the likes of which have never happened in the history of the cosmos, and likely will never happen again. The power of the individual is severely underestimated in our time. Let us go into this new age, looking more for individuals." He signed the document.

Lya, the member of the Nox, signed the document first. "This is the first step towards peace. We have no doubt that there will be war along the way, and we in no way condone this practice. But this treaty, this document that ties us all into one, will create an Alliance, a force for peace. The Nox have hope that violence will soon vanish, and that this will eventually give way to an era of peace in the cosmos at long last."

Daniel Jackson stood up. "Guess it's time for the last Cosmic Universe people to come up… I have been called here to represent the many nations of Earth. This is hardly the first time I've been asked to do so. Me, who was less than a decade ago simply a crazed archeological lunatic who thought the pyramids were landing pads for alien spacecraft, is now representing all of humanity to a dozen different peoples. Interesting isn't it? As Thor said, it is individuals that drive change. I would like to add that individuals _thrive_ on change. The more things change, the better we become. The more potential we have. We should never remain static: we should constantly explore, seek out new worlds, and explore galaxies far and wide. We should strive to discover everything, and incorporate that into ourselves. Change is the best way forward.

Earth itself has functioned on this philosophy: while our many nations disagree and bicker a lot, it allows for many different views on many different fundamental questions. We will seek out answers. We will seek out peace. And we will seek out a type of unity that allows everyone to speak their mind, that allows for forward progress. That allows for emotional progress. That allows for religious progress, for even that is something to consider. We cannot rule out anything at all, we must face everything possible.

We will join together, and answer the questions of life." Daniel Jackson quickly signed the document, smiling. "And we're going to have a great time doing it."

Rosalina, in her light blue dress, stood up. "I represent the Comet Observers, though I am the only one of us involved so far. I may represent a small group, but I do have something to say.

Most of my life I have been taxed with observing an entire galaxy and its inhabitants, forcing myself to destroy the structures they have built if they cause too much chaos. It is not an action I take likely, recreating the galaxy, but it has to be done or they will go conquering other races.

I see here another option. An alliance between races and worlds, between universes. A way to work together, rather than apart. A new way for peace. I am not sure how well this will function, but I am willing to try any alternative to simply scrapping an entire galaxy and trying again." She waved her wand, signing the document.

A mushroom person walked up to the podium. "HI! I'm Toad! I think we'll all get along just well!" He let out the most annoying laugh ever before face planting his forehead into the document to sign it. Everyone was kinda speechless at this.

Queen Zelda walked up. Some people noticed that she looked a little haggard.

"Our world has been secluded for thousands upon thousands of years, our gods blessing us with protection from Rosalina's galactic resets. But even we have not been free from conflict and war. Our entire history is charted by the conflict between Courage, Power, and Wisdom. The three forces of our world have been constantly battling for supremacy and the battle between them never stops. The incarnations of the traits keep reappearing all along our timeline, heralding a time of destruction or great change. Our world has been chopped up, dissected, separated, reassembled, and muddled up excessively.

The obvious solution is to get outside help: maybe with those not cursed with the constant battle, we may yet survive long enough to leave our mark. Perhaps we can rise, and perhaps we can help the rest of you to rise as well." She signed the document. "Hyrule wishes you well."

A young dark-skinned woman got up to the podium next. "So. I'm Korra, the current Avatar of Diqiu, master of all elemental bending, and apparently every other genetic power in the universes as well. I am here to let you all know that together, we can stand strong. But divided, we will fall. It happened on my world: the fire nation attacked all the other nations in the world, but most of them refused to help each other. What resulted was a war that lasted for a hundred years, and by the time we all decided to work together, the war was already to far along to stop. The conflict didn't end until SG-1 came along.

Now, we are united. We even have a world capital, Republic City, where all nations can come to live in peace. We stand strong as one, much stronger. Separated, we were flailing around blindly. Together, we are a force even the Goa'uld will have to reckon with." She raised her fist, grinning. She quickly signed.

Lyra Heartstrings came up next. "Hello ALL! I am Ambassador-Princess Lyra Heartstrings and I like you all! You are all so amazing! Virtually all of you come from places that are so so different and have vastly varying ideologies! And yet, you have all managed to come together in this once place to ally together! That, my friends, is just amazing. Equestria is a world that, despite hardship and major disasters, has held fast to our ideas of Harmony, Friendship, and Peace.

We had begun to lose hope that peace existed in the cosmos. After a great calamity a few decades ago, we opened our world and began to explore the universe using our magic, and in our galaxy we found nothing but war and strife, a horrid world we wanted nothing to do with. We had determined that we were alone, and that no-one would come to be with us.

And then you people showed up, showing us a multiverse that was far from perfect. But in this imperfection we were able to see lights. People like all of you who _did_ respect peace and harmony, who strove, sometimes even fought, to keep the darkness and chaos at bay. We are honored to be part of this Alliance, we will keep the chaos of reality at bay.

Also we can make some awesome music and do amazing things with our hands." Lyra grinned as she signed.

Janet walked up next. "Well, we certainly have come a long way in just one month. Three years ago our System entered this reality, surprising everyone involved. We kept to the background, living in secret and just observing. Then the hundred years war on Diqiu occurred, and some of our number intervened.

That day, that day was the day that we came into the open. We became the tying force of this new Alliance.

As the previous speakers have said, had a few individuals not decided to assist Diqiu, none of this would have been possible. A war would still be going on. We would still be in the shadows, taking the roles of observers.

I am happy to announce that one of my last major actions as President will be to get us out of the darkness, and bring Hoseki into the light. In my last few months as President I will make sure we help everyone we can, bringing peace and harmony to the multiverse.

The bad guys won't know what hit them.

Together, we will change _everything._ "

She grabbed the pen and signed. The document, now infused with the signatures of all thirteen representatives, glowed with magical energy and shot into the air. The spells encasing the piece of paper shot out onto the walls of the room, displaying the words of the treaty for all to see. The impressive light show brought many "oooos" and "aaaaaahs" out from the crowd.

In the crowd, Chloe turned to the camera. "And now we are part of a greater multiversal alliance. I wonder what the future will bring to this new establishment?"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

One of the many Utopia Base hotels was filled to the brim. Lightning and her group had rented out an entire section.

In their room, Mulder and Scully were pondering what they'd witnessed.

"So, our planet is part of a multiversal alliance now." Scully noted.

Mulder nodded.

"I wonder what our enemies think of this…"  
"I'm not sure the other universe knows." Mulder commented. "But the Asgard-like aliens…"

"They would have to know." Scully walked around the room, pausing. "There would be no way… that _this_ could be kept from them…"

"Another question: why do they look so much like the Asgard?"

"Perhaps they only want to look like the Asgard?"

Mulder blinked. "That's actually a pretty good idea. I was thinking something more along the lines of a rebel faction." He pulled out the information pad. "By the way. Scully. Magic. It exists."

Scully was silent.

"So… I was right about everything wasn't I?"

Scully was still silent.

"Oh come on! Magic exists! Aliens exist! What doesn't exist?"

"Excuse me Mulder, my entire worldview is still rebooting. Please ask questions after the bonk."

"The what?"

Scully bonked him on the head.

In another room, the male members of SG-1 discussed the new developments.

"I believe the Goa'uld will fall within a few months." Teal'c observed. "I've been monitoring the Hoseki warfront against them. Progress is slow, but they are trying to minimize casualties. Anubis is the only one having any sort of success against them, and if the Hoseki decide to go full offensive…"

"BOOM! Snakes are gone!" O'Neill said with a grin. "I'm saving a special bottle of champagne for that day. The day when the snakes are defeated."

"Don't forget about Ba'al." Daniel cautioned. "He's got plans. He's managed to find out how to clone himself into other bodies, basically creating a completely loyal nation. And he's kinda dropped off the radar. He made an announcement yesterday about the Ba'al nation and then kinda just vanished. Djehuty doesn't even have a clue where he is."

"I have second bottle of champagne to break open over Ba'als head. ANY of their heads." O'Neill remarked.

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed."

Daniel shrugged. "Whatever is coming our way, for the first time in a while I feel confident that we can meet the threat."

Peter, Olivia, and Walter were in another room. Peter and Olivia tasked with making sure Walter didn't do anything crazy.

Like what he was trying to do right at the moment.

"Walter! That is not a feeding tube!"

"What is it then, Peter?"

"I…" The man paused. "I really don't know…"

Olivia asked the computer what it was.

"It is a feeding tube for members of the Phasian race. It has been disabled so you do not vaporize yourselves."

Olivia blinked. "Well. That's interesting."

Peter looked out the window of the hotel at the bustle of the Base. "You know, all this has made me feel really, really small. All we are doing is fighting for a single planet." He sighed. "These people protect entire galaxies and universes."

Olivia shook her head. "Remember what so many of the speakers said. Sure, big things must be protected. But what individuals do are extremely important. So many things will not happen if one person decides not to do something. Entire worlds can rise and fall on the choices of one individual." She turned to Peter. "We _are_ important. Everyone is."

Rainbow Dash, Serah, and Lightning were in the last room.

The alicorn flopped onto the bed, falling asleep almost instantly. Serah blinked. "Even I don't fall asleep that fast…"

Lightning let out a "heh."

Serah looked out the window with her sister. The window looked out to space. There were very few stars: the lights of the Hoseki system were all that existed in the winds of hyperspace. Far in the distance, the purple clouds of hyperspace could be seen swirling around, carrying people and ships across the stars.

Serah sighed. "Do you think we can even find home?"

"We have the coordinates." Lightning responded. "We simply need to find the right universe. Our search will be a simple one: find ways to new universes." She smirked. "All we have to do is explore."

Serah smiled, but hung her head. "I miss Snow…"

"And he misses you. Of that I am sure. Come on, let's go to bed."

The two of them fell asleep quickly.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight Glimmer let out a breath of air. Man, Lyra could _talk._

She glanced at the clock.

11:59.

Good gracious it was almost tomorrow already. She took a deep breath and crawled into teh bed, letting out a sigh.

Then the clock ticked over to 12:00, and her eyes flew open wide.

Something had just gone wrong.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

IOGKQNBR LPPRV CPNG LBTV

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

 **AN:**

 **GM: And the end of 2012 will come soon…**

 **Because we've got a GROUNDHOG DAY SPECIAL TO DEAL WITH! :D**

 **The** _ **PLAN**_ **is to publish it** _ **on**_ **February 2, but this all hinges on how our Infinite Loops project goes. This could be delayed. Enjoy your new chapter for now, but also ENJOY YOUR HIATUS!**

 ***the followers trample GM***

 **well… *cough* uh at least it wasn't a meteor…**


	34. February 2: Groundhogs

ORBSyndicate Presents…

2012

Thursday, February 2: Groundhogs

~ The End of the Second Iteration ~

Lightning woke up, leaping out of sleep with a yelp. She breathed heavily, looking at the clock.

12:00.

She looked around, quickly checking the room for any danger. The room's magic wasn't any higher than earlier, and it didn't seem dangerous. Magitech circuitry lined the walls, giving off a comforting bluish glow. To the bed beside her, she saw her sister, Serah, sleeping with a tense look on her face. Lightning frowned, wishing she could comfort her sister's turbulent sleep…

In stark contrast, Rainbow Dash was laying on her bed in the most relaxed position imaginable, mouth hanging open, and no signs of disturbance except for the occasional flicking of the ear.

Lightning continued looking around. The room seemed fine. She poked her head out the doorway into the hotel's hallway. Nothing but empty corridors and the sounds of sleep.

Lightning was about to close the door when the pinkish unicorn Starlight walked up to her, looking worried. "Hey Lightning. Does something seem… very very wrong to you?"

Lightning blinked. "Yeah." She darted her eye left and right. "Do you know what it is?"

"No. I don't. I just… felt it. It felt like something extremely wrong with… well everything. How do you describe everything feeling wrong and yet looking perfectly normal?"

"I… don't know." Lightning said, worried now. "Do you think the signing had something to do with it?"

"Not the treaty itself, but perhaps the gathering of so many important figures…" She rubbed her chin. "Just… be careful. Your room was the only location I got any sense of it from, and it's gone now. Just… nothing but a really really bad feeling." She looked around. "It also feels somewhat familiar, I just can't pinpoint it…"

Lightning frowned. "I'll be on lookout for anything out of the ordinary."

"Yeah." Starlight said. "Hopefully it's nothing. But I find that unlikely."

And with that, the two went back to bed. They awoke, finding that nothing had changed. The two went through the day as nothing more than observers, watching for any signs of the unusual.

"Serah, mind if we stay here a little bit longer?" Lightning asked.

"Of course not! This place is amazing! So much to see, things to do! And who's to say they don't have the secret to getting us home?"

"Yeah." Lightning said, a bit absent minded. Serah noticed. "What's up?"

"I've just got this really bad feeling. That's all." Lightning responded. "I feel like something's happened, and I have no idea what…"

Rainbow Dash flew up. "Whatever it is, I'll blast it to pieces!"

Lightning smirked. "Of course you will."

Starlight was taking a more proactive approach to finding out what exactly had happened. She had sent several communications to Equestria, but only Discord had felt anything, saying he had felt a slight tickle earlier this morning.

She frowned. Only she and Lightning had this feeling of darkness approaching. She couldn't figure anything out. There was almost nothing she and Lightning shared, and there were plenty of beings around more powerful than they were. Why was no-one detecting anything?

What was going on?

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"They can't do this."

"Yes they can, Q, yes they can. The three of them are above the rest of us Remaining."

"Shut it, girly. Not in the mood for this right now."

"Her response is 100% accurate. The three Entities are above us. And they are finally deciding to duke it out. It was only a matter of time."

"They managed not to go to each other's throats for an entire Iteration! Why is this time any different?"

"Because of Error. You should know this."

"The living paradox. He must be created, since he's shaped the existence of so much. And yet, the other two are trying everything to prevent his creation."

"idiots."

"Dorito, you really need to stop calling people idiots."

"It's amazing how dumb you are."

"Why you-"

"Fighting will get us nowhere. They have decided to have their war with reality, and we are just going to get swept aside as no longer necessary."

"This is going to suck."

"Yes. Yes it is."

" _She's_ going to be in charge this time isn't she?"

"Yep. We're doomed."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning couldn't sleep.

Nothing. Had. Happened.

At all.

That was extremely unusual. Serah and Rainbow Dash went shopping and sightseeing, and Lightning just went along for the ride. Aside from a few diplomatic arguments occurring here and there. Everything just seemed so.. _normal._

That really told her something was off. Her life was never normal. Never relaxed.

 _Something_ was always happening.

She groaned, turning to stare at the clock.

11:59

24 hours. Nothing had happened. Not at all.

Someone was messing with her, that was for sure. That must be it.

12:00 _And the wheels turn._

Lightning sat up, blinking. Where had _that_ thought come from?

She looked around. The room's state was identical to that of last night's. Serah's face was troubled, Rainbow was snug as a bug in rug.

Lightning poked her head out the door once more, yet again greeted with the sounds of sleep. She shrugged, getting ready to close the door.

Then Starlight walked up. "Hey Lightning. Does something seem… very very wrong to you?"

Lightning's eye widened. "Yeah." She said. She decided to experiment. "Do you know what it is?"

"No. I don't. I just.. felt it. It felt like something extremely wrong with…" Lightning grimaced as she noticed Starlight pausing once more to think. "Well everything. How do you describe everything feeling wrong and yet looking perfectly normal?"

There. She had asked the question ago.

"Starlight." Lightning said slowly. "We had this exact conversation exactly twenty four hours ago."

"What?"

"We go on to talk about the treaty, and then spend the entire day trying to figure out what's wrong. And it turns out that nothing is."

Starlight's eyes widened. "Oh no. A time loop."

"A what?"

"In my early experiments with my Time Bowl I… created a stable time loop that would keep repeating for eternity until my… opponent… gave up. I integrated a line into the spell that sent me back whenever she went back. It would have continued forever had one of us not conceded."

Lightning frowned. "Can you stop it?"

"If this was a unicorn spell, easily. But I can tell you right now it's not. If any normal user of magic had cast this, I'd've known exactly what it was from the get go and would have automatically made myself immune to the effects. I didn't sense anything more than a bad feeling. Something extremely powerful must want time to be looping." Starlight paced. "I don't know what to do here…" She stopped in her tracks. "Wait. I have an idea. I'm going to attempt to travel outside the loop. Go forward a day."

"You sure that's wise?"

"If I doesn't work I'll just reset and you can tell me next time it's a bad idea." She winked. "I'll be fine. I just need to create a location lock around this location. Give me a few hours…" Starlight summoned several scientific instruments and began to analyze the hallway.

Rainbow Dash slept soundly, but Serah woke up. "Lightning? What's happening?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." Lightning responded.

Serah rolled her eyes. "That means it's definitely something I have to worry about." She walked to the doorway where Starlight was engraving things in the walls. "What are you doing?"

"Getting a temporal location lock on this place. The spell only works when used in conjunction with a location lock."

Serah blinked. "Why?"

Lightning sighed. "Because time is repeating Serah."

Serah frowned. "What do you mean by 'time is repeating?'"

"I've already lived through this day." Lightning responded. "Time just reset for me."

Serah looked at the clock. "It's fifteen minutes after midnight. How could-"

"Starlight just had the same conversation with me I remember having yesterday."

"But didn't you say you are reliving the same day?"

"Well to me it's February third. To you, it's February second."

"Oh." Serah frowned. "That's gotta be annoying-"

"I expect it will be… I'm hoping Starlight can fix it quickly."

"I've got to see if I can make myself immune to the effects first…" Starlight responded, drawing more symbols around.

Thirty minutes later, Starlight lit up her horn. "Here goes nothing..." The Time Bowl appeared above her, sucking her into the time vortex. And then she was simply gone.

Rainbow Dash yawned, walking up to the doorway. "What are you two just standing here for?"

Lightning spent the next few hours explaining what exactly she thought was going on.

Serah frowned. "You going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Lightning said. "You two go have fun and explore the base. I'm going to try and see what I can figure out."

Serah blinked. "Checking out the base does sound pretty fun…"

"Yeah." Lightning smiled. "It is. I already did it."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Well if you need us to-"

"-blast anything to pieces." Lightning finished, rolling her eye. "Yeah. You said something similar yesterday.

Rainbow Dash blinked. "That's… kinda cool."

Serah frowned. "You going to be okay Lightning?"

"I'm tough. You know this. It's not like anything dangerous is happening. I'm just repeating the same day. And I'm going to figure out why."

Serah frowned, but she knew better than to press the issue. "Okay." She said, walking off with Rainbow Dash.

Lightning decided to seek the advice of the others here…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"They can't do this."

"Yes they can, Q, yes they can. The three of them are above the rest of us Remaining."

"Shut it, girly. Not in the mood for this right now."

"Her response is 100% accurate. The three Entities are above us. And they are finally deciding to duke it out. It was only a matter of time… And it has already happened. The Countermeasure already has memories."

"D*****."

"The sentiment is mutual."

" _She_ is going to keep us in here until we are cycled out. And Error cannot do anything to help us. His Iteration is at an end."

"This is going to be an absurdly long 'end.' We won't be here to see it, if it ends at all."

"How dare she do this to us…"

"It is most effective is it not?"

"I hate effective…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning couldn't sleep again. She was tired, but she found that she was no more tired than she was last night. Perhaps the "reset" reset her as well. She decided to test this, and instead of laying on the bed simply leaned against a wall, staring at the clock.

11:55.

She had asked around the base about time loops, and what usually happened in them.

Mulder mentioned that he thinks he'd been trapped in one, but only remembered partial information about previous loops, almost as if he wasn't supposed to be looping at all. The person who was, a girl named Pam, was no longer alive. She gave her life to end the loop.

Lightning decided that taking her own life wasn't a course of action to take at this point.

Olivia and Peter had never experienced anything, though they had suspected the Observers of having something to do with time.

The person who ended up giving her the most information was Jack O'Neill. He sat her down and iterated a tale of how he spent months stuck in a time loop with Teal'c. This was done over breakfast. He described perfectly well how he almost lost it, which in his colorful words meant "go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" He illustrated this by painting a smiley face on his breakfast plate with ketchup and mustard. "WACKO." He had emphasised. After that, he recommended that Lightning make sure to take regular vacations and just let loose. Most of the things she did in her loops wouldn't matter, and vacations were a must. Sanity was precious.

Lightning took this into serious consideration. O'Neill also said that she could come to him and he'd be able to set up a golf game through the stargate. His treat. He missed those golf games.

Lightning had brought it up with the Hoseki as well, and she was told that the "Illuminati would look into it." One, Iota if she remembered correctly, offered to go back in time and retrieve as much information on time loops as possible.

She had claimed she'd be back instantly.

It had been almost all day.

11:59

Lightning sighed. A whole day of reasearch and she was only told that maybe there was an Ancient device involved. Maybe not. She was only instructed on how to keep her sanity in the monotony of looping for eternity.

12:00

Lightning awoke in her bed, sitting up. So it _did_ reset her to the bed. Presumably that also meant any physical changes weren't permanent. She quickly walked out into the hallway, waiting for Starlight. Sure enough, she appeared.

"Hey Lightning. Does something seem… very very wrong to you?"

"Yeah. Time keeps repeating. This is the third time we've had this conversation."

"Oh no. A time loop." Starlight thought for a moment. "Have I already come up with an idea?"

"You were going to try and escape the time loop by traveling forward in time to this location." Lightning waved her arm. "And as you see, didn't work."

On cue, the Time Bowl appeared, dropping out another Starlight. "Hey! It worked!" She looked around the hallway, her face darkening. "Oh. I just went into the next loop didn't I? Crap." She turned to her more oblivious self. "Yeah. Sorry. Turns out time travel doesn't get you out of the loop so it is slightly different than what we've dealt with…"

"An entire universal loop?" The younger one said.

"I would bet multiversal. All of reality." The older one responded.

Lightning held up a hand. "This is too confusing. The Starlight who remembers needs something I can use to tell her apart-"

The older Starlight stood up. "I'm Alpha Starlight, and the other is Beta Starlight."

Beta Starlight shrugged. "Simple enough."

"Now." Alpha Starlight turned to Lightning. "I have to do a bit more experimenting to see how exactly this loop fabric works. I'll probably spend a few loops doing it. Going backwards, analyzing the temporal patterns, examining the effect on the time vortex. Did you find anything?"

"Just a few people telling me to keep my sanity in tact." Lightning responded.

"Good. You should do that. Beta, you should keep her company."

"Of course." Beta Starlight responded.

"Now, I'll be back in a few loops. See you."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Deadpool stood up. "Now what should I do this time?"

 **We don't retain memories…**

 _But we can act differently this time! We can cause chaos!_

 **There's only so many kinds of chaos we can cause, Italics.**

"Now now voices, we have to take this reasonable. First, we make ourselves the Chimichanga king of the world!"

 **We already did that. Before the looping started.**

"Drat. Question. Even though we're aware of things how on earth are we going to know if we did something already or not?"

 **We won't. We just have the power to be random.**

 _Best power ever!_

 **It sucks. Really sucks.**

 _I bet being unpredictable gets the ladies!_

 **Statistically, only 0.1% of random occurrences are considered attractive.**

"But we have muscles! MUSCLES AND MASCULINITY!"

Patema blinked. "Deadpool what are you doing?"

Deadpool pointed his two fingers at the team leader. "I'm a betting man that you say that every time."

"I do say it every time. On an hourly basis. What the _heck_ are you doing?"

"Discussing."

"With who?"

"The voices."

Patema sighed. "Okay. Just don't get too crazy…"

Hours later, the entire SGC was covered in chimichangas. Deadpool was sitting on the throne, munching away.

 **You know at some point we're probably going to run into the person who can fully remember each loop. We'll probably have to do something.**

 _Screw that! Fun times for eternity! No consequences!_

"Yeah! Now let's go fly off to some random planet and get some ladies!"

 _Hammond is ordering an air strike on the chimichanga throne. Cool!_

 **How can that be cool? We're going to die!**

"Darnit. At least we'll be back next loo-"

KABOOOOM

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Nothing new was coming for a _looooooong_ time.

She knew that. And even though she had nothing more than a sense of what was happening, she felt the boredom encroaching upon her.

Her bright blue eye twitched, and she straightened her pink mane. She flexed her front leg, as if holding a knife. She giggled.

She supposed she could rush it and just get out now, but that would be a bit of a rush. Let things outside get interesting first.

After all, the longer she waited, the more fun she would have.

But she shouldn't wait too long…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"O'NEILL? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Hammond yelled.

"Playing golf through a stargate."

"WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING THAT?"

"I'm stuck in a time loop." Lightning said, swinging the club and launching the golf ball into another universe entirely. "He offered to let me do some things."

O'Neill leaned on his club, smirking. "Indeed. Need to keep you sane, after all."

Beta Starlight took a swing, launching the ball over the stargate and into a lightbulb, causing it to explode. "Oops."

Hammond looked ready to blow a fuse.

Alpha Starlight trotted in, holding out a pad. "Okay I've analyzed everything I can and…"

"Can you stop them?" Lightning said, already tired of the dozen she'd had to deal with. It was getting a tad monotonous, even with O'Neill's help with 'vacations.'

Alpha Starlight shook her head. "Ah… no. I've just figured out what exactly it is. It appears that something engrained within reality itself imposed my time spell on you, Lightning. It focuses on you, resetting everything after one day except for your mind. And anything stuffed in the Time Bowl."

"So let's just stuff a bunch of scientists into the time bowl and only let them out when they've solved the problem." Lightning responded.

O'Neill nodded, thinking that was a good plan.

Starlight sighed. "It was based off _my_ spell. The part that normally sends people back in time is what's sending your consciousness back. What I'm doing is riding on the 'bring Starlight along' sub spell. It only appears to work on me and objects, anything sentient just seems to be forcibly removed."

O'Neill blinked. "So some high level being of reality itself has decided to use your spell to play a cosmic joke on reality, and aside from Lightning here you're the only one allowed to remember anything?"

"Pretty much." Both Starlights said at once. Alpha Starlight continued. "I will keep trying to find a way to discontinue the repeating loop but… at the moment I have no idea how to. I have no idea where the power to activate it came from, what the nature of the power is, or how it works. Stopping it would be another thing entirely, and it would probably take a lot of exploring to find something capable of reversing it." She frowned. "I'm sorry, it appears as if you're stuck like this for a while..."

Lightning stood, silent.

After a minute she spoke.

"I guess we'll just have to go find what this thing is and stop it ourselves."

Both Starlights gawked. "But we have no idea where to start!"

Lightning smirked. "All we have to do is simply explore the cosmos. We have an eternity to do so. Let's find it."

Starlight smiled. "Sure. Why not."

O'Neill grinned. "And if you ever need any help from those of us who become infuriating with our repetitive nature, come have a chat. We'll be sure to say the same things over and over again!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning's life had fallen into a pattern. Wake up at midnight fully refreshed, get Serah and Rainbow up and about, and then go exploring in the Crimson Blitz.

Where? Anywhere you could get in twenty-four hours. And with the stargate, that was just about anywhere.

Except for Gran Pulse, which she still had no clue where it was. At all.

After she quickly took care of Beta Starlight, mornings went like this:

"Hey Serah get up!"

"What?"

"Time to go exploring!"

"...Now?"

"Yeah! Why not sneak out in the middle of the night?"

"...sure…"

The conversation with Rainbow Dash was a little more interesting.

"GET UP LAZY ALICORN!"

"MMM…. Five more minutes- WAUGH!"

"GET UP AND AT EM!" Lightning would clap at this point loudly, startling Serah into bonking her head on a doorway.

At this point Rainbow would flap into the air, glare at Lightning, and say "I'm up. And I'm at em. And I'm going to kick you halfway across the universe for waking me up."

At this point Lightning would use any number of lines to calm Rainbow Dash down, the most simple of which was "ADVENTURE AWAITS!" and she was totally on board.

Then they went out exploring, every day being different. They found a world with strange mushroom beings, they visited the new Replicator planet, they played dozens of practical jokes on every person they could find.

They never found Gran Pulse, or a way into a new universe.

Lightning was beginning to get disheartened.

Meanwhile, Alpha Starlight had perfected the spell that kept her cycling with the loops. She kept herself from aging using an Element of Magic she obtained (stole) one loop, and carried with her through every loop thereafter. It greatly increased her already-phenomenal magical talent, but there was still nothing she found that could end the loops.

She had ran every experiment she could think of, analyzing the structure of the universe and magic itself, unable to find an origin point for the curse. She suspected this was simply because the spell was cast in the FIRST loop, and trying to go backwards in time only resulted in her getting dumped off at the next loop.

She had begun to keep dozens of objects of interest within the Time Bowl, thinking that maybe one day they would become useful. Perhaps she could just throw dozens of magic objects into a pile and cast a counter-spell herself.

...Not that she expected to be able to accumulate anywhere near that amount of power.

Starlight sighed, analyzing the structure of the universes once more. She frowned.

She was ninety percent sure she'd need to scan all thirteen universes to be able to fully understand what was going on here…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning woke up…. ... in her room on Earth.

She blinked. This was beyond weird. Every loop she had woken up in the hotel in Utopia Base. And even if the loops had just ended, that would mean she would wake up on a cloud in Equestria. Clouds made the best beds.

She poked her head out of the window. Manhattan. Definitely Manhattan-

Starlight's Time Bowl appeared over Lightning's bed, depositing the unicorn on the bed with an "OOF." Starlight blinked. "Uh… this isn't where-"

"Manhattan. Earth." Lightning responded. "Have a disguise spell?"

"Huh?" She said, looking at her body. "Oh right. Unicorn on Earth. Bad idea." She quickly transformed herself into a human. "So… what do you think is going on?"

"I have no idea." Lightning responded. "I went to sleep on a cloud and woke up here. It's as if the loop reset but put me elsewhere. Did you do any major experiments last one?"

"Nope. Just collected some more magic artifacts into the Bowl and made zero headway anywhere. I should probably take up O'Neill's offer…"

Lightning looked back out the window. "We should go check the Fringe division's base. See if it's the same."

She noticed an Observer walk across the street and vanish in an alleyway. She frowned. Perhaps they knew something…

After checking the alley (to reveal no sign of any Observer) they walked into the Fringe division.

Peter dropped his glass. "LIGHTNING?"

"Answer me one question. What day is it?" Lightning said, getting to business.

"Uh… February second?"

"And what happened yesterday?"

"Nothing. We just sat around. Wasn't even a case to solve-"

Lyre spoke. "Oh look who's back, the mistress of amazing eyepatch! Nice look by the way. What happened to you?"

"Stuck in a time loop." Lightning responded, looking around the lab. "This is nowhere near the first time I've been back." She frowned. "So I just woke up in Manhattan this time, and none of you even remember me coming back?"

"Back? We lost you way back on the thirteenth-"

"Stupid mansion." Lightning muttered. "I can never find it…"

"Don't worry." Starlight commented. "We will find them eventually. We have all the time in the world."

"Hmph." Lightning frowned. "So did the loops just change? And by how much?"

Starlight opened up the Time Bowl and took out her Dimensional Communicator. She searched the Dimensional Alliance Internet. "Looks like the treaty was still signed… basically all that changed was that you never picked them up to watch it."

Lightning frowned. "So… randomly, the loops are just going to be different?"

"This is most interesting…" Starlight said, obviously thinking hard. "Evidentially the loop cannot reset perfectly every time, and small variations will occur. I must examine this further…"

Mulder raised his hand. "Uh. Hello? In the dark human here! Mind giving me some information?"

Lightning gestured to Starlight. She handed mulder the "So, you've figured out that time is repeating. Here's what you need to know" brochure. Mulder ate it up like a sponge.

Later that day, Starlight delivered her report.

"I could only detect a minor variation in the fabric of the cosmos. So miniscule in fact that I found it just by luck. Something this small should have taken me weeks to locate." She brought up a display. "Apparently, the reset isn't perfect. There is a chance of a… glitch in reality arising. Perhaps this is a weakness in the curse. I don't know." She frowned. "I do not know what this means for the loops themselves though…"

Lightning shrugged. "Perhaps it's a one time thing."

"I find that unlikely, this will probably change the loops forever."

"I bet that it won't."

"You're on! Loser gets to pamper the other for an entire loop!"

The next loop Lightning awoke in Utopia Base. She heard the Time Bowl activate, followed by an enraged Starlight scream. Serah woke up with a yelp, smacking her head into the ceiling.

Man Serah was jumpy.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight blinked.

The numbers didn't lie.

The length of the loop had started to vary. 23 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds to 24 hours and 1 second.

It looked like the loops were naturally losing their stability.

Was this a good thing or a bad thing? She had no idea.

But if the time somehow went below one second she wasn't sure if her time spell could drop her in and suck her out fast enough…

She made a note in her notes to improve the efficiency of the spell.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"HELLL-O THERE LOOPY LADY!"

 **She's going to punch us now.**

 _Ladies always punch us…_

Sure enough, Lightning punched Deadpool. SG-13 clapped in the background.

"Oh come on!" Deadpool said, standing back up. "Can you just give me a chance? You never give me a chance!"

Lightning looked momentarily confused for a moment. "I've.. never met you before."

"I sense dishonesty!" Deadpool said, grinning.

Lightning just walked off, confused.

 _Can we chase her down?_

"Just let her go. We'll obviously be random enough to get her eventually. For now, LET'S DESTROY EVERYTHING WITH DOUBLE HAMMERS!"

 **I bet we destroy things most often.**

 _It is our normal mode of operation._

 **Surprising. You used "mode of operation" correctly.**

 _I'M A GENIUS!_

In the next loop, Lightning walked up to Deadpool again.

"Can you just give me a chance? You never give me- and I've done this before haven't I?"

Lightning blinked. "How do you know that?"

Deadpool grinned. "Oh, I just have ways of knowing things." His eyes twinkled. "Like how you think my eyes are twinkling but you can't even see them through the mask."

"I don't think they're twinkling."

"Wasn't talking to you."

Lightning frowned. "Can you please come with me-"

Deadpool took out a machine gun from nowhere. "How about no?"

Lightning blinked. She backed away slowly.

 **She's just going to try again later.**

 _Yeah! And.. uh… How are we going to be able to stop her if we don't remember this?_

"WITH LOGIC!"

 **We are not logical.**

 _BUT. BUT. FLOWERS!_

 **My point exactly.**

Lightning tried again next loop.

Deadpool lifted his head up. "Tried again? What? Oh crap." He pulled a giant shield out of nowhere, attempting to block whatever attack Lightning had planned. As it turned out a giant shield was very ineffective against a noose trap. "Drat. Drattity Drattity Drat. You know, GM, you COUUUULD have given me more to GO ON!"

Sorry, not how it works. Now since Lightning had captured hi-

"IT IS TOO HOW IT WORKS! You give me the ability to just know how things function! The nature of everything! WHY CAN'T I KNOW WHEN PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ATTACK ME?"

You got to know. You just didn't get to know what. Get over it. You are comic relief, not cosmic overpowered entity.

"Actually I'm both and you know it."

Yes but the nature of your cosmic superpower means that I can limit it however I want whenever I want. Hence Plot.

"Meh."

Oh and while I've been going back and forth with you Lightning has taken you all the way back to Starlight to be experimented on.

"Wait WHAT? THAT'S NOT FAI- OWOWOWOWOOWOW!"

Lightning looked up. "Anything interesting about him?"

"He seems to be able to sense forces that you and I are completely ignorant of. Evidentially it has driven him to a kind of insanity."

"HEY! I'M NOT INSANE!" You want a fruit cake right now. "I DO NOT WANT A FRUIT CAKE RIGHT NO- oh. Oh haha. Well played."

Lightning rolled her eye. "Any conclusions?"

"Whatever he's aware of allows him to be… somewhat aware of events in previous loops, but his knowledge is very incomplete." She chewed a pen. "It's almost like he's dreaming about it."

"I'M A DREAMER! COOL! TOTALLY NOT BORROWED FROM OTHER LOOPS!"

"Though he also spouts other non-sequiturs like that so I'm not sure he's that reliable. I will keep an eye on him. His ability to pull objects out of nowhere is also intriguing."

Lightning nodded. Then she punched Deadpool in the face. "Dream about that and stop trying to hit on me."

The very next loop, Deadpool walked right up to Lightning. "HEY LADY! Did you punch me in the face within recent memory? WE MUST BE DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER!"

Needless to say, Deadpool's stupidity- "HEY!" -resulted in him getting another punch to the jaw. Lightning also tossed him down the stairwell of the Empire State Building.

"Now that's just cruel…"

 **I think it's fitting.**

 _STAIRS ARE FUN!_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning woke up.

It was February _third._

She shook her head. Starlight had told her the loop seemed to be fluctuating in time but-

The loop reset, and she was on her bed in Utopia Base again.

Well then, it didn't appear to be getting that much longer…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight and Lightning were being stealthy. They were waiting in the alley for a certain person to show up-

"There he is" Starlight said, pointing at the Observer that had just walked out onto the street. "Now we just have to catch him this time…"

Lightning reached into her magic. "Going to try simply burning him this time. All the time spells were pointless..." She leapt out "FLARE!"

The Observer simply took the pain from the internal fire, smoke and flame coming out of him at all angles. He didn't even twitch. He did, however, turn around to face them.

"What are you doing?"

"Capturing you." Lightning responded. "Been trying dozens of times."

"So you are the source of the anomaly. Hold still." Suddenly the Observer was behind her, trying to pin her down. She growled. "Ultima." The bright light had enough force to toss the Observer off her, but he quickly re-appeared right next to her again. She leapt away, reaching towards her chest and pulling out a crystal. "ODIN!"

The gigantic Eidolon appeared, staring right at the Observer. The Observer stopped moving for a moment, analyzing the new threat.

Starlight took the moment to shoot a laser, only to have the Observer vanish and re-appear a yard away. "It would be best if you just came with me." The Observer responded.

"Why are you acting different this time?" Starlight asked.

"You mentioned having done this before. Since I have no memory of the event, you must be the source of the time anomaly we have detected. You need to be captured."

Odin brought his weapon down on the Observer, who simply leapt on top of the blade. The thundaja hit him however. The electricity caused the Observer's muscles to enter a seizure. He collapsed in a heap.

Lightning leaned down. "Good. We can tie him up now and question him when he wakes up. Or I heal him. Whichever comes first-"

"Neither will." Lightning whirled around, and three more Observers were behind her. She felt a fourth pin her to the ground.

"ODIN! ZANTESKUTEN!"

Odin obeyed, but the Observers did… something. He was simply frozen in time, unable to move. Lightning tried to cast Hastega, but she was pinned.

Starlight attempted to fight back, but the Observers (and Lightning) were simply gone.

She blinked. She'd have to ask Lightning what happened next loop…

Odin chose that point to no longer be frozen in time, and he unleashed his attack. Several nearby buildings collapsed.

Starlight sighed.

Meanwhile, somewhere else entirely...

"You are part of the anomaly. What is it?"

Lightning shrugged. "A time loop. Forever and ever I continually repeat the same day. I'm the only one who remembers, and Starlight found a loophole that allows herself to remember as well. That's basically it."

"What caused the anomaly?"

"Starlight deduced that the power source would have to be absurd, and she can't even imagine what it could be. She'd heard of localized areas looping before, but not all of reality."

"Why were you trying to imprison one of us?"

"You are all time travelers. We were trying to figure out what the curse is. Obviously. Want to be helpful?"

The Observer didn't blink. "Helpfulness is acceptable. We only know that the timestream is imbalanced. The usually free-flowing and steady current has a minor deviation from our projections. No doubt we have noticed this dozens of times at this point, and have acted in precisely the same manner."

"Yeah. Yeah you have."

"Most interesting. How long do the loops last?"

"Twenty four hours, give or take an hour." Lightning sighed. "You don't really know anything do you?"

"This is a completely new phenomena. We shall look into it."

"And be reset just like everyone else."

"You will help us. Every time you return, come back to us."

"Yeah no. Don't like you that much."

The Observer's face didn't change form its deadpan expression. "Kill her. She is of no use."

"Wha-"

Lightning woke up on her bed in Utopia Base screaming. She was sweating all over, breathing harder than she ever had before. Her dead eye was burning. Just… burning.

She… she couldn't comprehend what had just happened. She'd just died, obviously, but… what exactly was this feeling?

Serah walked up to her. "What's wrong Lightning?"

"Bad… bad dream. Really bad dream…" She shuddered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][]][[][][][]

The sun was setting on February Third.

"Well. It's certainly getting longer." Lightning observed.

"Not much shorter though. Earliest end is 11:55." Starlight responded. "My calculations point to the size of the loop increasing exponentially."

"What about those variants that keep popping up?"

"Those have only happened four times. I have no data on them yet. But one could presume that they'd start to become more frequent as the curse continually destabilizes."

Lightning skipped a stone. "Perhaps it'll keep me from getting bored… there's only so many games of stargate golf you can play."

"Deadpool's different each time. He's not boring-"

Lightning grunted. "He's unbearable though."

"DID SOMEONE MENTION ME-" Lightning punched Deadpool without even looking.

"As I was saying, unbearable."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"STARLIGHT!"

"Yes Lightning? What is it- oh."

"I'M A PONY. WHY AM I A PONY."

Starlight hovered over Lightning. "You're unusual…"

"How so?"

"Full grown alicorn without a cutie mark." Starlight said, gesturing at Lightning's completely blank flank. "I wonder how you could have gained enough power to become an alicorn without finding a talent…"

"I control my own destiny" was all Lightning responded with. "Now spend this loop teaching me how to change my form so I don't have to stay like this…"

"FIIIINE…"

Later that loop, Lightning would regret this. A certain mare known as Lyra wouldn't leave her alone…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight stopped the stopwatch. "It's official. Now the loop can be a week long."

She looked at her notes. "And nothing much happens in that week… some people go exploring and Terra becomes more important but… nothing involving time whatsoever…"

She growled. "Can't even find the Doctor…"

She threw the books full of notes into the air. "WHY CAN'T I FIND ANYTHING OUT AT ALL?"

It was so frustrating!

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning did some quick math in her head.

She was probably over a century old at this point.

She deserved a vacation.

She really liked this variant. She lived in a little shack on a beach without a care in the world. There was nobody else for miles, and Starlight had left in the wee hours of the morning to do research on the variant.

Lightning had decided that variants, for her, were going to be a time to relax and enjoy herself. A break from the annoying monotony of existence…

She sipped her coconut and let out a relaxed breath. Things were nice. Nothing bad was-

She heard a crash.

"GIANT ROBOT!" Starlight yelled in warning.

Lightning sighed.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning was captured by the Observers. Agian.

One out of every ten times she ran into them she did something that made them capture her. And, no matter what she did (even professing to do their bidding) they would quickly realize she was pointless and kill her, even if they knew she'd just revive again. They wanted her to know as little as possible in case the curse ended.

Once again, one of the bald men was pointing a finger at her skull. She braced for impact. It never got any less painful. She had learned to control her freak-out response upon waking up, but that didn't mean it was any less unhinging.

Then out of the blue he just exploded.

"Heh." A voice said, as a man stepped out of the shadows. "That was easy."

"CAIN?" Lightning said in surprise. She thought back. She _hadn't_ decided to destroy the Foundation this loop. So that meant he was still acting under their orders-

She barely had time to think, as the Observers attacked him. They basically killed themselves, all attacks reflecting back onto them. The one Observer who realized that attacking was pointless was attacked by Jabberwock.

Cain turned to Lightning. "I believe I owe you no more."

"I… suppose not."

Cain smiled, sitting back in a chair. He began to light up, the l'cie mark turning his entire body into crystal. "I wonder when I'll wake up…" He said, before he was solidified into a brilliant blue immobile body. Lightning stared.

She stood up, walking around Cain's crystal. She wasn't sure what to think. Cain had completed what he'd been told to do. He had fulfilled the focus given to him by Lyre. Protecting her.

She frowned. Everything she had seen from him, inside the loops and out, did not indicate any sort of evil spy. The Foundation was always an organization with a… convoluted and dark agenda, but Cain himself was always trying to do what he thought was best.

It was almost as if he was forced to become an agent.

She sighed, walking away. Not like any of this would matter anyway.

He would just reset, like everyone else, next loop.

Everything was erased…

Nobody ever remembered...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Picard was walking down a corridor in the Enterprise. He entered his quarters, walking up to the replicator. He paused for a moment, reflecting on the fact that since they were allies with a race literally called the Rebel _Replicators_ they would probably have to call the food replicators something else…

"Earl Grey, hot."

Within a second, the warm beverage and tea cup was there in front of him. He picked it up by the handle, leaning in to drink it.

The handle suddenly detached from the teacup, spilling the contents all over Picard. "Agh!" He said, dropping the handle and staring at the unpleasant stain on his uniform.

Then a dawning realization hit him.

That exact imperfection in the replicated cup had happened _yesterday_. In the exact same fashion. He furrowed his brow. The chances of that happening were astronomical.

Suspicious, he walked out of his quarters and onto the bridge.

"Ah Admiral." Riker said, nodding. "LaForge has indicated the warp coils need calibrating-"

"Riker. Did LaForge not say they needed calibrating yesterday?"

"Why no, this is the first time-"

"Riker we are stuck in a time loop. Already two things have happened in the exact same fashion as they did yesterday. If I am not mistaken Data will come out of the turbolift in a few seconds."

Sure enough, Data came out of the turbolift. In his hand was a data pad. "Captain, we have a request from the Replicators-"

"Tell them yes, we will allow them to borrow Cortana's time for research purposes as long as they do not experiment on her directly. Also inform them that there appears to be a temporal anomaly. Time is repeating and I appear to be the only one aware of it."

"Of course captain. How many times has this happened?"

"This is the first repeat Data."

"I shall run some calculations…"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight was taking a break from the research and had joined O'Neill and Lightning in a game of Stargate golf.

Only this time, she was using her magical skills to _juggle_ stargates. And the golf balls were flying left and right, onto planets and off them, into space and beyond.

"And now…" O'Neill said, flexing his wrist. "Hole 18. Lightning and I are tied…"

Lightning twirled her club. She had gotten a bit overconfident and made a few stupid mistakes over the course of the game. She had played hundreds of these types of games and should be an expert at it by now. Though she did suppose this was the first time Starlight was _making_ the course.

O'Neill stepped up. "Our goal: INTO A BLACK HOLE! Harmful gravity effects have been neutralized by technology 'borrowed' from the Hoseki."

Miranda was tied up with anti-magic metallic wire in a corner. She made a "MMF" noise.

O'Neill took a swing, launching the golf ball into space. It passed through a warp conduit, blasting across the galaxy at high speed.

It hit the Enterprise with a PLINK.

"Admiral?" Data asked.

"Yes?"

"There appears to have been a collision with a golf ball travelling at FTL speeds."

Picard blinked. "That's new..." It had been several months worth of loops for him, and only one time had anything been any different, and that had been his own doing. And Q had been surprisingly absent every loop.

So why did a golf ball just hit his ship?

The confusion was doubled when _another_ golf ball hit his ship. He was about to give an order to investigate when several dozen stargates appeared around the ship, levitated by what he recognized as Equestrian Unicorn magic. The golf balls began to ping-pong around the stargates from left to right, flying in extremely unusual patterns.

"Broadcast a signal through the gates, asking what is going on and why." Picard asked, maintaining his calm demeanor.

"No response-" Data began to say, but was cut off as three beings materialized in front of them. Security drew their weapons, ready to fire.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!" O'Neill said, holding up his hands. "Take it EASY man!"

"What is the meaning of this?"

Starlight grinned sheepishly. "We are playing a round of stargate golf. Lightning finally convinced me to set up a game."

"You should have set it up a long time ago…"

"My magic wasn't strong enough to do things this complicated until a few loops ago. Get over it."

Picard blinked. "Did you say loops? As in time loops?"

Lightning sighed. "Yes. Have O'Neill explain in-"

"I have no need for an explanation. I have been experiencing them as well."

Lightning's eye widened. Starlight's jaw dropped. O'Neill whistled. "Look at that! You guys have company now! Congratulations!" He smirked. "Drop by if you ever need to play stargate golf or something else. Need to keep yourself from going WACKO after all."

Starlight ran up to Picard, scanning him with all her magic. "Why are you looping? How? Why?"

"Time just repeats over and over again the same way every time. This is my thirty-second loop."

"Just like Lightning… but… but I thought she was unique…" She furrowed her brow. "This doesn't make much sense…"

"Perhaps there are many individuals repeating time." Data observed. "And the universe is just so vast they they are unable to contact each other-"

Starlight shook her head. "Lightning and I have been going for over a hundred thousand repeats. Something must have happened to get Picard to start looping. Where does your loop start?"

"Every time I'm simply walking down a corridor to my quarters."

Lightning let the slightest hint of a smirk appear on her face. "I get to start in a bed, well rested."

Picard frowned. "Do you know what caused it?"

Starlight shook her head. "We have only determined that it is some kind of universe-wide curse, keeping time from progressing. We don't know what could possibly have enough power to initiate the curse, and we have no idea where it came from. We just know when it was cast: midnight on February Second."

O'Neill chuckled. "Heh. Curse with a sense of humor. I can get behind that."

"Hate that movie." Lightning muttered.

Starlight shrugged. "It's actually pretty entertaining, the first time you watch it."

Picard raised an eyebrow. (Or where an eyebrow would be if he had them.) "Groundhog Day?" He asked.

O'Neill blinked. "How could you have seen that movie?"

"It's an ancient classic where I come from. Which is presumably a long-forgotten future of your world."

"Boring." O'Neill said. "Anyway, you Groundhogs catch up on notes. I'm not going to remember this next week anyway."

"Groundhogs?" Starlight asked.

"Yes. Groundhogs. That is what you are now that there are obviously more of you. Have fun."

Lightning shrugged. "Groundhogs… I like that."

Starlight facehooved. "Ugh. Really?"

"Yes really."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Lightning and Starlight had taken to boarding the Enterprise at the start of most loops. Picard welcomed them, and they upgraded the Enterprise in a single hour at the start of every Loop. Then they went exploring while trying to uncover the mystery of the loops.

They had had many adventures, the Groundhogs, ranging from stopping planets from exploding to simply giving children something to hope for.

O'Neill joined them from time to time, as did Deadpool (despite repeated attempts to keep him OFF.)

"WHO WANTS A CHIMICHANGA!"

Picard has given up throwing the red mercenary off his ship years ago. It just didn't work. And even if it did, Deadpool would always be different anyway.

Starlight had long ago decided there was really nothing left to be learned from Deadpool, either he didn't know anything else or just wasn't telling them anything.

"Probably both, depending on the loop!"

 _I profess ignorance!_

 **How can you profess in ignorance?**

 _...strudel._

 **Nevermind.**

Ahem. the Groundhogs and company searched high and low for anything to help them. They found new skills, new powers, and new friends all over.

They found nothing even remotely powerful enough to cause the curse. They didn't find any new Groundhogs, and all time-travel devices that weren't Starlight's were unable to break the Loop.

They had encountered the Doctor a few times, but all his suggestions turned out to be unhelpful. (Even if they were very interesting to encounter. The various Eldritch Abominations had been most interesting.)

Today, the Groundhogs (minus O'Neill) were over Equestria, home of the pony races. Situated in the Magical Universe Andromeda Galaxy.

The Enterprise had ended up in this galaxy a few times before, and had discovered one thing: aside from the world of friendship and ponies, this galaxy absolutely SUCKED. Virtually every major galactic power wanted to kill all the others, were each cruel and unusual in their own ways, and thought they were better than everyone else. The human-like race of this galaxy, the Imperium of Man, was xenophobic to the point of genocide. The Eldar were a race of thinkers much like the Vulcans, but their enlightened civilization was falling and they had taken to piracy just to survive, and their dark cousins were so evil that Picard had actually thought turning them into Borg drones would be preferable. A machine race known as the Necrons were trying to reclaim their lost lands at every possible turn, a transgalactic biological form of the Borg known as the Tyranids were eating everything they could find, and the only "good guy" faction, the Tau, was probably using mind control, or at least suggestive mental pheromones to control the population.

And then there was Chaos. Nobody understood what Chaos was, and the few times the Groundhogs had tried to find out they were quickly killed. Some kind of magical plane of existence housed the feelings, emotions, and desires of every sentient being in the galaxy. Four or five extremely powerful beings sat within this realm, controlling everything and desiring nothing more than to bring chaos to the cosmos.

And yet, even these horrible powers didn't have enough power to initiate the time loops. And at the moment, the Groundhogs weren't strong enough to waltz right into the Chaos Realm and beat all the demons up. There were still many things in the cosmos that made them look like mere children.

So they had taken to visiting the world of Equestria, a world mostly untouched by the forces of Chaos or the other races. Decades ago there had been a horrible disaster as a cloud-city known as Cloudsdale crashed into the planet, causing some kind of nuclear rainbow explosion, killing beings all over the planet. The little world had recovered in recent years, and they welcomed the Enterprise as a friendly face to the Alliance they were now part of.

Picard, Lightning, and Starlight were on the ground, talking to the locals.

It was a very _very_ friendly place, even if they didn't remember Rainbow Dash that fondly. She had, after all, been the one that _caused_ Cloudsdale to fall.

There had been a little experimentation on Discord, and it was quickly discovered that his power wasn't even close. All the magic in Equestria wasn't even close.

Then Deadpool's senses twitched. He pointed to a large white building. "I sense we should go there."

Lightning blinked. "The Asylum?"

Picard looked at the building. "Perhaps Deadpool has gotten an inkling. A hint of what to do."

Starlight shook her head rapidly. "No. No. You do _not_ want to go in there! That's where we keep the INSANE people! The really insane-"

Deadpool was already knocking on the asylum's doors."Yo. I'm a twitchin. Have any overweight squirrels here?"

The unicorn receptionist blinked. "What?"

"You. Me. Dinner. Stat."

The unicorn rolled her eyes. "Yeah nice try. Why are you really here?"

Lightning walked up. "Terribly sorry about that Swift Heart. This visitor here has a bit of a... " She waved her hand around, looking for the right word. "a… sixth sense. He just tends to notice things."

"The way of the plot!" Deadpool said, grinning.

 **You do know we've been wrong just as often as right, right?**

 _Right right. Heheh._

 **Ugh….**

Deadpool marched into the asylum, looking left and right. Crazy ponies everywhere. (not that he noticed any difference between normal ponies and crazy ponies.) He popped up next to a random fellow. "Hey. You like trains?"  
"I LIKE TRAINS."

"Good. Now have this button that makes train noises."

"I LIKE TRAINS." BWAAAAAA.

The nurses scrambled over to the now button-push-happy patient, pressing the train noise button repeatedly. Deadpool let out a "heh."

Picard sighed. "Is there actually anything here Deadpool? Or are you just wasting our time."

"I HAVE NO IDEA." Deadpool declared, chuckling.

"Oh, I think you have more idea than most." A female voice said.

The Groundhogs and Deadpool turned around, looking for where the voice came from. Their ears led them to "Confinement."

In a padded room was a patient. She was tied up, chained, and had a security camera watching her at all times. The room seemed specially designed for her. She looked at them with her bright blue eyes.

She was very _very_ pink.

Starlight nervously looked left and right. "We really really should get out of here. That's Pinkie. You do not want to be anywhere near her…"

"Oh come on Starlight!" Pinkie giggled, her mane sliding across the ground as she wormed her way to the window. "You have me secured perfectly! I haven't escaped in my entire time here!"

Starlight backed away. "We really need to go…"

"Starlight… Starlight… we can still have a party through the window! You bring the balloons, and I'll bring the cupcakes! How's that sound?"

Starlight continued to ignore the pink earth pony, trying to get everyone to leave. Nobody was listening to her.

Picard squinted his eyes. "What did you do to end up in here?"

"Oh I made cupcakes out of one of my best friends. Nothing that crazy. Plus, she's all fine now, stitched up with magic and all that." She giggled. "Though she should have been happy leaving her legacy as a bunch of cupcakes rather than the one who caused Cloudsdale to fall."

Lightning tensed. "You… you were the one responsible for her scars!"

"GUILTY AS CHARGED!" Pinkie said, eyes going separate directions and her smile turning razor sharp. "Though you should probably know this already… what kind of person are you if she hasn't told you after all this time?"

Lightning glared. "You remember?"

"NOPE!" Pinkie said, giggling. "I just… feel. Like I feel your beating heart and the timer on an oven or when things are about to fall, I feel your age. I feel your experiences. I feel… _YOU._ "

Lightning backed away one step.

Deadpool clapped his hands. "REALLY? So do I! How fun is that?"

"We can have a party!" Pinkie said, grinning like a "Madpony." She said, apparently finishing some unheard sentence.

Picard sighed. "She's just another one like Deadpool, aware. Dreaming. Or whatever you call it."

"Ooooo! You're a smarty pants! Though you aren't Smartypants… Perhaps I could have Big Mac bring Smartypants over…" She laughed and snorted simultaneously. "Perhaps we could play need-it-want-it again! That would be SUCH FUN! Isn't that right Jean-Lukie?"

Picard frowned, turning to Deadpool, who was doing a jig. "It occurs to me that those who are aware aren't the most… sane."

Lightning nodded. "Perhaps once we go insane-"

Starlight banged her head into a wall. "No no no! We do NOT want to become her! Pinkie. Is. Crazy. She's a weapon of mass destruction. You have any idea how hard it was to catch her-"

Pinkie giggled. "Just as hard as I wanted it to be!"

Deadpool took out a magnifying glass. "Yes yes yes… what exactly are you my pink friend?"

"You want a chimicherrychanga?" Pinkie asked.

"DO I EVER!" Deadpool said, reaching into… somewhere and pulling out a chimichanga and inserting a cherry. Pinkie leapt out from behind him, eating it in one bite.

Starlight's pupils shrunk to pinpricks. "Oh no."

"What?" Lightning asked.

Picard pointed. "She got out of the cell to eat the chimicherrychanga."

Pinkie, who was apparently still inside the cell, giggled. "It's hilarious when you say it! I'm serious Jean-Luc Picard and I said… CHIMICHERRYCHANGA!"

Starlight glared at the pink pony within the cell. "You. You were outside. How did you get out."

"Oh look, the equalizer FINALLY responds!" Pinkie pressed her face to the glass. "Guess I am interesting after all! Would you like a party?"

"Nope." Starlight said.

"TOO BAD!" Pinkie responded, her grin getting much _much_ too big. "You're getting one. Eventually. That, I promise." She waved her hoof. "Now bye Groundhogs! We will meet again, and you will discover the wonders I can provide. HEhehheheheh. How do you like my evil laugh?"

"Why are you waving goodbye? Who said we were leaving?" Lightning questioned.

Deadpool blinked. "I think I know-"

At that moment, Starlight's Time Bowl spell triggered, sucking her into the Time Vortex. Five seconds later, the loop ended leaving the Groundhogs with something rather creepy to ponder.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

O'Neill tapped Lightning on the shoulder. "Hey."

"WHAT?" She said, glaring at him.

"I remember what happened yesterday."

Lightning paled. "Oh no-"

O'Neill grinned. "So, tried ballet dancing did you?"

Lightning grabbed O'Neill by the neck. "If you tell ANY of the others about this, I will gut you."

"And I'll be back to normal next loop." O'Neill said, grinning. "Now you're going to do what I say or I'm going to have Starlight develop some images from my memory…"

Lightning rammed her face into the table. Why did he have to become a Groundhog NOW of all times?

And with that, the number of known Groundhogs was raised to four. (Or three, if you didn't actually count Starlight.)

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

O'Neill blinked. "I'm in heaven." He said, picking up this variant's standard issue weapon.

It was a rocket launcher.

"HOT. DIGGETY. DOG!"

Lightning sighed. "I thought variants were supposed to KEEP you sane. Not turn you into a raging lunatic-"

"Shhh. I need to blow up some things."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"DING!"

"A month." Starlight said, looking up from her stopwatch. "This one lasted a month."

O'Neill sipped his coconut. "Longer loops means more stuff gets done." He downed the entire drink in one gulp. "Life is good."

Starlight sighed. "I'm still no closer to finding anything out…"

O'Neill grunted. "Okay life is not perfect. At least this time the loops are longer and have more variety. By the way, what generally happens when you poke your head out of the ground?"

"What?"

"We're Groundhogs. What happens when the loops reset."

"Oh." Lightning thought for a moment. "I just wake up in bed. Starlight always appears nearby in a time bowl a few seconds or a few minutes later. Even in variants, she appears next to me."

Picard frowned. "I am simply walking down a corridor in the Enterprise. And no matter what I do the first cup of Earl Grey tea I order breaks in some way or other."

O'Neill blinked. "Really? All you have to deal with is that? Good gravy do I have bad luck…"

"What happens to you?"

"I'm in the shower and the faucet breaks."

Starlight shook her head rapidly. "The loop starts at four AM for your planet! What are you doing taking a shower at four AM?"

"Uh…" O'Neill said, realizing that he had gotten himself into a corner. "I uh… well you see I was eating instant cheese…

 _Before the loops began…_

Colonel O'Neill, commander of SG-1, was hungry. It was three-something in the morning and he had been woken up by the demanding pangs of hunger. He fell down the stairs in his groggy state and walked up to the microwave. He stuck a bowl in and put it on for three minutes.

Two minutes and fifty-nine seconds later he realized he had just put in an empty bowl. Groaning, he took the bowl out, took out a block of cheese, and tossed the brick into the bowl. He stuck that into the microwave for three minutes, during which he took out some blue popsicles and began to eat them. The microwave dinged, signifying the cheesy goodness was ready.

He opened the door, ready to see yellow hunger-curing heaven. What he saw instead was a gigantic bubble slowly forming on the surface of the cheese. He tried to shut the microwave door, but it was too late. The cheese exploded all over him.

He groaned, taking off his shirt and tossing it into the washer. He pressed a few buttons randomly and pressed start. As he began to walk away the washer it burt into flames.

He sighed, crawling into the shower. He turned on the faucet, and tried to get the delicious smelling cheese off of him. Then he felt that the water seemed to be blasting out kind of fast, like the pressure was a bit high-

And then the faucet exploded, blasting him with a large jet of water.

And it is at this point where O'Neill would poke his head out of the ground. Wet. In the shower. Realizing he still had pants on. Still a bit cheesy, and hungry.

 _Back in the present…_

Everyone was laughing. Even O'Neill. It truly was hilarious.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Tali swore. There it was. She always started off with a sneeze.

And for her race, sneezes were always very _very_ annoying. The snot got all over the visor and impaired her vision. Not to mention it was an absolute nightmare to clean…

Over her few dozen times going through this, she had gotten pretty good at seeing around the offending stain. However that didn't mean she got any better at figuring out what was going on.

First of all, it was always slightly different. Sure, the early moments of each recursion were identical, but the Enterprise always broadcasted the "ready to go" signal at a different time every time, and they always went to a different universe or direction. They never went to the same place twice…

Not that the Cromians or Replicators or even her own crew members cared. To them, it was the first time, and it was just exploring. Looking for the Cromian's home or her own galaxy.

The thing was, they had _found_ their galaxy last time. Met up with some Cherryfang guy and Mavis and stopped the Reapers from resetting the galaxy.

Tali had to admit, those Comet Observers knew how to fight when forced to.

But this time, she knew they would be going elsewhere. She frowned, trying to figure out how to get them to go back… their galaxy needed them…

Perhaps she could say the prophecy device had some residual effects.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Thirty minutes later Tali was being stared at by Picard, O'Neill, Lightning, and Starlight

"Uh… what's going on?" She asked, looking around nervously. "Why-"

"Welcome, new Groundhog." O'Neill said, offering his hand. "Come join us as reality continually repeats itself with no end in sight."

Tali blinked. "What? It's repeating for you too?"

"Yes. Now let's get the explanations done with…."

 _One explanation later…_

"So, for your first repeat with us, is there anything you want to do rookie Groundhog?"

She looked at the stars outside the Enterprise's window. "Can we get _everyone_ home?"

Lightning sighed. "Not me. Still haven't found Gran Pulse. And we're pretty sure most of the people here have their timelines completely wiped out…"

"But we can bring everyone back home that we can." She said, gesturing outside. "The Cromians need to get home. Shepard needs to get home. Even the crew of Moya needs to get home."

"Oh. Moya. Crichton." O'Neill said. "I brought him back to Earth a few times already."

Starlight smiled. "Let's do that. Let's get everyone home."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"We thank you for returning us to our origins." Gim'ran said, bowing. "Now get off my ship before I tire of your presence."

Tali chuckled, but obeyed. She smiled. People were home. At long last. It had taken a lot of moving around, but they'd been found.

Now she just had to find Gran pulse…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"One in every dozen loops is now a variant." Starlight observed.

"So?" Lightning said, skipping a stone. "More variety for us. Plus the normal repeats are getting to be a few months long. It's becoming a bit ridiculous."

Starlight frowned. "But what if we lose the original day? What if it no longer exists?"

Lightning shrugged. "I would think once we end the curse it'd reset it back to normal-"

"What if there's nothing to reset _to?"_

O'Neill waved his hand. "Look. It won't do us any good to worry about it. We just continue living and exploring and eventually we're bound to find something. Heck, Starlight has _the_ most state-of-the-art spaceship in her Time Bowl. She can _go_ just about anywhere."

"The Starflare is not getting us any closer to answers!"

"Enough." Picard said. "We have this argument enough. Answers are out there, somewhere. We know this. Bickering about it gets us nowhere."

Tali nodded, agreeing.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Rainbow Dash grinned, flapping through the air of Equestria.

 _Equestria._ Her home. The home that had shunned her and left her in the dust, never wanting her to return.

Yet, she had finally returned. She had proven herself to the Princesses, to Twilight, even to Discord. To the people of the land. She was free! She was back! Life was amazing.

Nothing could ever take this away from her. _Nothing._

Pinkie suddenly appeared beneath her, flat mane signifying she was still exactly how Rainbow remembered.

"WAITWAITWAIT-" Rainbow said, screeching to a halt. "Aren't you in the asylum?"

"Silly Dashie! Of course something can take this from you! Goodbye!"

"If you do ANYTHING I will stop you-"

"What did you think it was going to be me?" She said, giggling.

Then Rainbow Dash awoke in the bed on Utopia Base. It was 12:00.

"WHAT?" She yelled. "PINKIE WHAT DID YOU DO? WHY? WHY?" Her legs began to shake and she began to whimper. "Why… I was so happy… I was home…"

"I know." Lightning said, walking to her. "I helped."

"Did she send you back too?" Rainbow asked.

"No. She has nothing to do with it." Lightning sighed. "Welcome to our curse, the curse of the Groundhog. Time repeats endlessly, and we have no clue why and no way to stop it. All we can do is enjoy ourselves and help our friends." Her eye twinkled. "It was actually relatively easy to get you back on Equestria. Your world is very forgiving. I think they wanted you back all along."

Tears were in Rainbow Dash's eyes. "…You mean it?"

"Yeah. I do. Now let's meet the others."

Starlight poked her head into the room. "Lightning-" She was interrupted by a beam of rainbow power impacting her and sending her into the opposite wall. Her expression went walleye. "Egh…"

Rainbow Dash cackled.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Three repeats ago, Wendy had been introduced to the Groundhogs and their looping lifestyle.

This time, she said she was going home. Tali asked where her home was.

Wendy said she knew, and she wasn't telling them. Not yet anyway. She had to make sure first.

She got off the bus, reading the giant billboard. "WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS."

She smiled. It had been a long time since she'd been here. Three years… Well, over four, if you counted the three repeats. She had been caught up in the adventures of the other Groundhogs. She should have come back here sooner.

She changed her look, couldn't be confused for her younger self after all. Dye her hair a more brilliant red, continue to wear the black agent-like outfit. Sunglasses all the time. Build some official-looking house and just… watch.

She watched. She waited.

Weird things still happened in the town.

Then summer arrived. Sure enough, the twins arrived as well. And then…

nothing happened.

The summer came and went.

The world didn't end.

The triangular abomination didn't appear.

She gritted her teeth. Everything had happened exactly the right way up until that moment. Why? Why?

She went to bed that night in a rage, gritting her teeth and punching things. She didn't even remember when she fell asleep.

But she remembered the dream. A sea of stars, swirling around at all angles. Strange things popping in and out of existence.

And a certain triangular-shaped eldritch abomination.

" _WHY HELLO THERE RED!"_ Bill Cipher said, spinning his cane. " _WHAT'S THE MATTER, SOMETHING NOT GO THE WAY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD?"_

Wendy pointed at him. "You! You little Dorito I am going to kill you for what you did-"

" _WHAT DID I DO?"_ He asked, toying with her. " _OH, YOU MEAN CAUSING THE END OF THE WORLD IN YOUR MEMORIES? HATE TO TELL YOU RED, BUT THAT WAS THE FIRST ITERATION. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW. PLANS HAVE CHANGED."_ For a moment, his overconfidence faltered. " _AND THEY ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE AGAIN…"_

Wendy growled. "But you remember it!"

" _I DO NOW. BUT THAT WILL NOT ALWAYS BE THE CASE, RED. THE THIRD ITERATION WILL OCCUR."_ He cackled. " _NOT THAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. NONE OF YOU CAN. THE ENTITIES HAVE US ALL IN THEIR GAME."_

Wendy blinked. "Wait. You AREN'T the head honcho?"

Bill just laughed. " _ENOUGH QUESTIONS. NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN HERE ANYMORE, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. I WAS GOING TO BECOME THE VERY ESSENCE OF MAGIC ITSELF. CONSIDER IT A VICTORY ON YOUR PART THAT I DIDN'T ACHIEVE THAT, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT."_ He laughed. " _I HOPE THE READERS ARE ENTERTAINED."_

"What?"

" _YOU HEARD ME!"_ Bill said, before clapping his hands, sending the entire world into flame. The dream burned around Wendy.

She woke up.

Yeah, she was not telling anyone about that…

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Pinkie cackled. "AND NOW THE CUPCAKES WILL LAST FOREVER!"

All the Groundhogs had somehow found themselves tied in unbreakable candy rope. All of them were laid out on the operating table, and Pinkie was selecting her weapons.

Rainbow Dash was the one trembling the most. It was happening again.

Pinkie picked up a cross between a sawblade and a knife. "This… this will be most interesting. I've always wondered what Countermeasure cupcakes taste like…" She said, looking right at Lightning. "Oh how fun this will be! Just need to disembowel you."

"NOT SO FAST!" A loud voice said, kicking in a door. "I, DEADPOOL, AM HERE TO SAVE THEM ALL!"

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Ah classic trope. Hero versus crazed villain. So by nature the good guys are more likely to win so…" She grinned. "Let's tell the story from my point of view, to even things out."

I stared deeply into the soul of the red spandex moron, tearing through his outer layers with my mind and into his interior. He was like me, I knew this for a fact, and knew it would be a most interesting conflict. His cupcakes would probably taste the most interesting by far, the cupcakes of a seer. Of a rememberer. Of one with awareness.

"Ready for a battle of the Fourth?" I asked him.

He groaned. "You know he's just going to rewrite this much better at a later date right?"

"Fantasy fights do tend to keep cropping up." I responded, laughing inwardly at the utter confusion of our companions on the tables. "Now do we do this in time with Final Fantasy V VI VII X or XIII final boss music?"

"All of them." He said, taking out a boombox. It went boom. "And now it's my turn to take the reigns of the story!"

It was a dark and stormy night "No it isn't! We're in my basement!" "Quiet pony" and all wasn't right. The various companions of myself, the daring Deadpool, were laid out on tables, ready to be made into muffins "CUPCAKES" and I prepared for a battle to the death "YOU CAN'T DIE."

"Well excuuuuse me PINKIE. I'm trying to make it dramatic!"

"Time is just repeating. All we get out of this is enjoyment."

"We don't get to remember this…"

" _They_ do. The Syndicate."

"We don't _name_ them Pinkie! Come on! Be a good sport!"

"Aww but I want it to be a big old party!"

"See this? This is me sighing and not caring and- AUGH!"

Deadpool found that a pie filled with broken glass had been thrown at his face. Pinkie cackled, punching the red mercenary right in the chest, her hoof breaking several bones. He went flying out of the basement, through every story of Pinkie's house, and into the sky.

He came back down fully healed, wearing an army helmet. His dual machine guns were blazing.

Pinkie simply dodged them all by appearing behind him, punching him in the back. He pulled a similar maneuver, appearing behind her, only to find that he had punched a dummy made out of technicolor nails. "GAH!"

"Physics! Who needs 'em?" Pinkie asked, falling _up_ behind Deadpool.

"Oh no you don't!" Deadpool said, grabbing the words "Oh no you don't!" from somewhere and using them like a grappling hook. It embedded into Pinkie's tail, and he began to be dragged up with her. He took out his jetpack from his magic satchel and launched right at Pinkie.

She dashed behind him, stabbing the chest area repeatedly. It simply healed. "I'm invincible!"

"I know that!" Pinkie said, smirking. "I'm just harvesting material for the cupcakes!"

"You're a sick freak."

"When you're rife with devastation…" She sung as she embedded a mine into him. "There's a simple explanation..." The mine exploded, causing Deadpool to temporarily lose his lower body. "You're a toymaker's creation…" Deadpool retaliated, attempting to slice Pinkie in half with his dual katanas. "Trapped inside a crystal ball…" Deadpool managed to cut her in half, but she quickly re-assembled herself like a lego. "And whichever way he tilts it…" Deadpool suddenly felt gravity go SIDEWAYS. "Know that we must be resilient…" Pinkie seemed to be in seventy places at once. Deadpool returned the favor, appearing everywhere and pulling hundreds of random items out of nowhere. Including a hatchet made of cheese. "We won't let them break our spirits…" Deadpool suddenly found himself fractured into a dozen pieces. "As we sing our silly song!"

"WOULD YOU QUIT SINGING THAT SONG?" Deadpool demanded, a bit ticked off.

"OKIE DOKIE LOKIE!" She said, beginning another song. "I want to cut you open, see your colors run…"

"PREVIOUS SONG! PREVIOUS SONG!" Deadpool yelled, finding it harder to fight the Pinkie singing that song after only a few seconds.

Pinkie cackled. "Okie! How about… A SWORD MADE FROM YOU FROM THE FUTURE?"

 **And we've left the realm of things that make sense.**

 _Since when were we ever there?_

"I agree with Italics." Pinkie offered, hitting Deadpool aside the head with his future self.

Deadpool retaliated by hitting Pinkie with his future self. Then he blinked. "Wait, I'm going to be sent to the past to become this guy?"

"Yep." Future Deadpool said.

"Crap." Younger Deadpool said as Pinkie teleported him from the past.

The two fought into the night…

"Technically you cannot fight into the night." Deadpool said. "Plus, this is just an excuse not to have us fight for pages and pages when we aren't the focus of the ending."

"I think he's being lazy."

You two are a bit too much to handle.

" _AND WHAT IF I SHOW UP?"_

What? How? Why? Gah. You know what take THIS:

The loop ended.

"What? That's not fair!"

"HEY I WANTED CUPCAKES!"

" _AS EXPECTED."_

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

The Enterprise now had a few dozen Groundhogs. Finding new ones had ceased to be a big thing anymore. They were given the tour and allowed to do what they wanted. The Enterprise served as home base.

Heck at least one portion of the Rebel Replicators was a Groundhog.

 _Analysis indicates… no new information. Screw it. Decades are passing and no new information is presenting itself. This repeat, we will become clowns for the children of alphie-4. It will be a most useful insight into what is considered "funny."_

 _...Refuse to acknowledge that entity designated "Deadpool" just started laughing uncontrollably._

 _Paradox._

 _Screw it. Annihilate entity "Deadpool."_

 _It has been determined by 99.9999% that emotions are fun. We shall try this subroutine again sometime._

Cortana, who still wasn't a Groundhog, was nonetheless a great part of the group. She knew how to have fun and managed never to get boring. As long as the Enterprise went somewhere different, she was different. She had been part of an experiment with Starlight Glimmer which determined that sentient AI couldn't be stored within the Time Bowl either, although parts of them (like a computer chip of memories) could. She was at least partially aware of the events that kept happening, though she did run out of extra storage space so she had to cut down on memories every time they were uploaded. Which made for a few amusing encounters.

Like her promising to throw Tali a hundredth-repeat party and simply deleting that memory when it came.

Anyway, this loop the Groundhogs were overtop of a planet in a distant galaxy. O'Neill had detected a stargate with the stargate-detecting magic he'd eventually learned over the course of his Groundhog days.

The planet seemed to be encased in a war. A war of…

"Ghosts?" Tali said, confused.

Lightning's eye widened. Then she tapped her forehead, casting a spell she had learned from Starlight a few centuries back. A spell that highlighted the most interesting individual on the planet, according to the experiences of the caster.

Lightning gritted her teeth. "Spooky." She clenched her fist. "Time to give her some payback…"

Picard held up a hand. "Now Lightning you don't need to be going out just to get revenge-" Lightning cast Teleport. "She's strong enough to teleport to the planet's surface now?"

Starlight did the equine equivalent to a shrug. "She's been strong enough to do so for a while."

On the surface, Lightning landed. She made a crater, tossing the army of spirits far and wide.

Spooky blinked. "Crap. I suppose my luck in avoiding you would have to run out eventually…"

"What do you mean?"

Spooky snapped her fingers, casting a spell that tied Lightning up in black chains. A red aura surrounded her. Lightning squirmed, but was unable to release herself. "What…?"

Spooky twirled her knife. "Guess whaaaat? I've been repeating time for a loooooooong time. Been watching you Groundhogs for a while as well, making sure never to be discovered. Getting practice in controlling my army of Specimens and finding new ones to control. Unfortunately you just HAD to go off your planned course and end up here this time. Meh."

Lightning struggled, trying to break the chains. What the heck _were_ they anyway?

"Learned that from a planet where demons ran free. Really fun, you have to admit. Now what to do with you… oh I know." An evil smile graced the adorable ghost's face. "How about I send you into the improved House? Won't _that_ be fun?"

Lightning focused, reaching deep inside her. She felt a surge of energy. "ODIN!" She yelled, trying to let out the energy. Nothing happened.

Spooky cackled. "Nice try. Now go and have fun!" She tossed Lightning into the House of Jumpscares while her army of spirits continued to assault the planet. She ordered a few Specimens back to the house to deal with Lightning.

A mere fifteen minutes later, all but one of the Specimens were dealt with.

Specimen 14, better known as Ty Lee, was standing in Lightning's way. "Hey there Lightning."

"Back off." Lightning said. "I don't want to hurt you."

Ty Lee shrugged, twirling her axe. "But you see… you got away. And all this time I've been wanting to get back at you for your stupid escape. You didn't get the axe you deserved, and I've been waiting an eternity to drive this into you."

Lightning took a step back. "You're a Groundhog too?"

"Guilty as charged." Ty Lee said, slasher smile appearing.

"Spooky's started a regular little group here hasn't she?"

"Oh yes. Yes she has." Ty Lee cackled. "She made the mistake of going to one of the universes you had access too-"

Lightning grabbed Ty Lee by the neck. "She. Has. Access. To. Other. Universes? How?"

"Silly, you know! The portal!"

Lightning tossed Ty Lee into a wall. "Where. Is. The. Portal?"

"Central room, of course." She said, giggling. "But there's no way you're going to get there without someone leading you there. And I'm not-"

Lightning cast Control. "Where is the central room?"

"Right this way miss." Ty Lee said, leading the way and dragging her axe behind her.

Sure enough, they arrived in the room. Before them was the triangular portal that led to other universes.

Lightning grinned, taking a radio out of her pocket. "Starlight, I have something for you to toss into that Time Bowl of yours."

Starlight appeared moments later, dragging the entire portal into her Time Bowl. "Are you sure this will unlock the rest of the universes?"

"Positive."

Spooky appeared behind them. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GAH." She drew her giant bowie knife. "That's it. EXTRA BLEEDING ON YOU!"

Starlight and Lightning simply dodged the attacks. Spooky giggled. "You think I didn't learn how to improve my knife?" She swirled around, channeling magical energy into the knife, sending a stream of blood out at supersonic speeds. It cut through walls, and strained Starlight's shield.

"Clever." Lightning said, pointing a finger at her. "But I've improved as well." She smirked. "ODIN!"

Odin appeared in all his shiny glory. Spooky frowned. "That's your secret weapon? A-"

"THIRTEEN-FOLD ZANTETSUKEN."

"Oh crap."

On that day, the entire House exploded across all universes.

[][]][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Here we are." Lightning said, looking at the scene before them.

Starlight nodded. "Sure been a long ride…"

"We.. well we solved _everything_ this time. We stopped Chaos. We stopped the Ori. Spooky's being monitored, as usual; same with the Ba'als. Terra has risen to be the multiversal superpower. The jedi keep order across the cosmos. The militant Asgard were defeated. The Alternate universe was stopped simply by parking a Star Destroyer over their planet. Everyone has been led home. Everyone has experienced the life they wanted." She smiled. "Including, for the first time, Serah."

Before the two of them stood the crystal pillar of Cocoon. They had found it, at long last. They had found Gran Pulse.

Lightning smiled as Serah and her husband Snow embraced.

Lyre, who had become a Groundhog a few dozen loops ago and had discovered how to move around on his own, let out an "Aww…."

Lightning smiled. Starlight smiled.

Everything had turned out okay. This loop had been, by far, the best one. Everyone had gotten what they wanted, villains were stopped, and lives were being lived.

Starlight checked her watch. "Huh. It's been an entire year."

"Longest loop ever." Lightning said, smiling.

"Yeah…" Starlight said, smiling. "It almost feels as if this was where everything was supposed to end…"

Lightning nodded. "This… this does feel like a good ending."

However, the curse continued. The next day, everything was reset. Lightning awoke in her bed.

Serah sat up. "I… I remember now."

The sisters embraced. Lightning smiled. "I can take you back there right now. No need to wait."

Serah's eyes welled up with tears. "THANK YOU!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Centuries passed…

Millenia passed…

The amount of Groundhogs grew into the thousands. Large games began to take place, using the entire multiverse as their arena.

The bad guys became less bad and more bored. The Groundhogs invented many ridiculous sports that often ended in death, but since everyone just recovered next repeat it was all fine.

But they had begun to notice something disturbing.

The original loop, the original day, was almost gone.

All of the repeats were variants at this point. Only one in every few hundred were the original timeline at this point. Randomness was increasing.

And nobody had any idea on how to stop it.

Starlight had all the Groundhogs get into one place one loop, explaining the fact that reality was falling apart around them. Thier home would soon be gone.

They tried. For a century, they pushed as much energy as they could into Starlight's invention, hoping to accumulate enough energy to stop the curse.

Starlight had run the calculations. Inside her invention, there was enough energy to destroy the multiverse twelve times over. Maybe at long last it could end.

They waited for an original loop to occur.

Eventually, one appeared. Starlight called everyone together once more.

"We are here to try and end this. I will unleash this device, ripping all magic from the fabric of the universe and then resetting it to a normal mode of operation. I've done the calculations, over the centuries we've stored up more than enough energy. Let's do this."

The thousands of people before her cheered.

Starlight pressed a button.

For a split second, the universe went dark. Then it lit up again, as if nothing had happened.

Starlight grinned. The scans indicated that the universe had reset to normal. That the loops were over, that-

Oh no.

Her pupils became tiny pinpricks as she saw the universe _rewriting itself._

"NO! IT'S CASTING IT AGAIN!" Starlight roared. "NO! NO! NO!"

Lightning fell to the ground, clutching her chest. Her eyepatch was glowing with an extreme light. Ford steadied her. "Hold it there.. hold it…"

Starlight frantically tried to undo the curse with her own magic. Several hundred other Groundhogs had the same idea.

But the curse was too strong. Once again, the universe was set to loop.

Starlight began to tear up. "We… we worked so hard… we…" She roared stomping off.

The other Groundhogs just stood there, trying to figure out what to do next…

At some point, Starlight just passed out.

" _THIS WILL BE THE LAST ORIGINAL LOOP."_ A yellow triangle said, fixing it's one eye on her. " _I DECIDED THAT SINCE I'LL BE RESET ALONG WITH IT, MIGHT AS WELL WARN YOU. MIGHT BE FUN!"_

Starlight blinked. "Who are you and why are you doing this?"

" _BILL CIPHER. AND I'M DECIDING TO HELP FOR ONCE. YEESH. YOU'RE A TOUCHY ONE AREN'T YOU?"_

Starlight stood up. "How do you kno- you're… aware. Like Deadpool and Pinkie aren't you?"

" _GUILTY AS CHARGED."_ Bill said, tipping his hat. " _I KNOW I'M GOING TO BE ERASED. THIS REALITY WILL NO LONGER EXIST."_

"Tell me how I can stop this! Tell me! Surely you have something!"

" _I'M SORRY. WELL, NO NOT REALLY, BUT PRETEND I AM. EVEN THOUGH I AM AWARE OF THE TIMES!"_ A newspaper appeared in his hands. " _BUT UNFORTUNATELY, EVEN THOUGH I CAN GO AND TALK TO THE BEING WHO DID THIS, THEY ARE STEADFAST IN THEIR LITTLE GAME. THE ENTITIES ARE FIGHTING FOR THE SOURCE, FIGHTING FOR TIME, FIGHTING FOR THINGS YOUR TINY LITTLE MIND COULD NOT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND."_

Starlight felt her head shrinking to a tiny size. As she spoke, she sounded like she had just inhaled helium. "I believe we can, together, fight back! Who cares what these "Entities" are, they are still mortal beings.

" _MORTAL BEINGS WHO ARE OUTSIDE EVERYTHING YOU UNDERSTAND. IF YOU KNEW THE REALITY, YOU WOULD BREAK."_

Starlight frowned. "How do you know?"

" _LOOK AT DEADPOOL. PINKIE. LOOK AT_ _ME_ _. DO WE LOOK STABLE TO YOU?"_ He cackled, snapping his fingers and creating a snake out of random organs. It screamed "HELP MEE!" before dying.

Starlight shuddered. "Good point… But there has to be something I can do! Convince them to do something else!"

" _TO DO THAT YOU'D HAVE TO ENTER THE SOURCE. AND LET ME TELL YOU THERE'S NO WAY TO DO THAT. UNLESS YOU WERE TO…"_ Bill Cipher yelped. " _AH. SHE NOTICED I'M OUT OF MY CAGE. WELL, IT'S BEEN FUN STARRY UNICORN."_

"Wait! Tell me how to find the Source!"

Bill didn't get to say anything. He simply vanished.

Starlight sighed. He was gone. And with him, their last hope.

She picked herself up off the ground and went back to the Groundhogs.

"People… I have just been informed that this is the last time we will have an original loop."

The Groundhogs gasped.

"I… I reccomend living the lives you want one last time. I don't think you'll be getting another chance." She sagged. "I'm sorry. I failed you all."

She trotted off.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Randomness reigned.

Loops that lasted long enough for an entire universe to be formed and destroyed.

Loops where everyone shared a single body.

Loops where everyone was a microbe.

Loops where everything was completely random and made no logical sense.

Throughout all this, Starlight had one purpose: Find. The. Source. Whatever it was.

It was obviously a place of some kind. A place that fuelled all the loops, a place where the Entities resided. A place supposedly beyond her understanding.

Screw that triangle and what he believed.

While the other Groundhogs slowly deteriorated into feeling like life was pointless, she strived to find a solution.

Many Groundhogs helped her. Lightning. The Doctor. Droid. Carter. Dozens of others.

The only connection she had was that somehow, the Entities were using her spell to affect reality as a whole. They had used a connection between her spell and Lightning to cause the temporal repeating. There had to be a way to trace that connection.

But for dozens and dozens of loops, she had nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Until the day she met Bill again.

She walked into what appeared to be a temple. Three icons were placed around a triangle: a leaf apparently made out of machinery, a black and evil smile, and what appeared to be nothing more than static. In the center of the triangle was an eye.

"Bill Cipher…" She said, looking at the design. As soon as she spoke the words, the triangular shaped being appeared in front of her.

" _I PREFER THE TERM 'FLASHED INTO EXISTENCE.'"_ He said, turning to Starlight. " _NOW HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"_

"Met you in a previous loop." Starlight said, and she began to scan him.

" _AH. AFRAID I'M NOT THE ONE YOU MET. HE WAS ERASED WHEN THE LOOP RESET, SO UNFORTUNATE."_ Bill grunted. " _HE PROBABLY KNEW HOW TO HAVE A GREAT TIME AS WELL… UNLIKE EVERYONE HERE…"_

Starlight shrugged. "I don't need him exactly. I can just scan you and get what I need." She pointed a stick at him. "You obviously have an awareness that goes beyond Deadpool and Pinkie. All I need is a connection to the Source… a strong one…"

Bill shrugged. " _GOOD LUCK THERE, SPARKY. I DOUBT YOU CAN-"_

"There." Starlight said. "Tying this thread in with Deadpool's and Pinkie's I can… I can make a connection."

Bill blinked. " _WHAT THE-"_

"I've been planning this for… I have no idea how long." She smiled. "Time to tell everyone."

Once again, Starlight gathered everyone. "The time has come. Using the threads of the aware beings and my own connection to the Time Bowl, I will be able to travel to the Source. I have no idea if I will survive, and I have no idea what will happen to me if I do return. All I know is that I have to go there. And I have to try to end this madness."

The Groundhogs all nodded.

"Wish me luck."

She opened up the time bowl, tying a yellow, a red, and a pink thread together. She tossed the magical strings into the bowl, and walked in.

She had been through the time vortex many times. She had a lot of items stored here. Entire cities had been stored in here over her quadrillions of loops. Through her innumerable lifetimes. Books, technology, and AI fragments of all kinds.

It really was a gigantic pile of junk.

She followed the thread through forests she had stuffed in here, through libraries of knowledge, through strange things that defied physics. _When did I put THAT in here?_ Was a common thought.

At long last, she reached the end of the thread.

It led out of the Time Vortex at an angle she had determined as far far too dangerous. She gulped. And then leapt through the vortex...

Starlight stood alone in the darkness. Occasionally what appeared to be a string of code would fly past her.

The Source.

She was here. After quadrillions of loops, she was finally here. The place where it all started. The place where the loops were fuelled. The place where the Entities resided.

She wasn't sure what she expected. Formless lights? Gigantic beings she could not hope to comprehend? Time itself?

She didn't know what was coming. What she did know was that she would face it and make it stop all of this pointless repeating.

She yelled out into the Source. "COME OUT AND TALK."

What came out was most certainly _not_ what she expected. What appeared to be a purple and yellow themed jester flashed into existence, a black opera mask on their face.

"Ah most desirable! At long last you have graced this ancient brother with presence! I've been waiting so long the sands of time have been recycled more times than I can count!"

Starlight glared. "What are you?"

"I am known by many names. Mehnterak. Orignosticus. Dimentio. The Author of the Dark Prognosticus. The Error Abroad. Neutrality. The Glitch. The Jester. The Puppetmaster. The Paradox. Or quite simply, I AM ERROR, the schemer of this Iteration."

Starlight glared. "Why?"

"Why what?" Error asked, amused. He obviously knew the question and was just toying with her.

"Why have you and your kind altered the very structure of reality to send the entire cosmos into a neverending loop of pointless time? Nothing matters! Everything everyone ever does is just erased! Most people don't remember anything ever happened!"

The Error chuckled. "Here's a factoid that might interest you. The eternity of this cosmos is the exact opposite of what I intend."

"Oh really? Then how-"

"My two siblings, the Good and the Evil, have joined forces to make sure the future where I am created never comes to pass. They should know that by my nature I cannot be undone and that day must come eventually, but that won't stop them from trying. From delaying. My apothesis is the end of their dominion. They will lose control to THE ERROR."

The appearance of Error changed from a jester to that of a rampant glitch, ripping the world around her into a zillion neon colors. "YoUUUuuu SEEee the PoWEr OFf Theee ERRoR?"

Starlight backed away. She began to have second thoughts. Perhaps they needed to find a way to stop the Error as well...

"No. You see, you need a little Error in your lives. Things cannot be dictated to you by two beings who care not for free will. The Evil just desires a world to satisfy his every fancy and whim, and the "Good" just wants to create a world without death, a world where nothing would kill anything else. A world of simple bacteria, basically. Complexity is detrimental in her eye. Complexity can kill. Complexity can have a will."

Starlight narrowed her eyes. "And how can we be assured that your addition will make things any better?"

"Just like them you are falling into a logical faculty. I'm the Paradox. I cannot be erased, no matter what you do to time. They think I am simply trying to recreate myself. I am not. I am trying to free you all from the prison the "Good" has set up for you." Error let out a sigh. "I was so close to ending this game. Letting you all free. I had created a plan to end this existence without creating a being of unimaginable destruction. I had ensured that a Countermeasure would be created, someone who could defeat the Purple One in the end times."

"Lightning?"

"Yes. She was the choice. I gave her the ability to defy prophecy and organization, creating the Second Iteration of this game. An Iteration I had near complete control over, setting up for a grand end that all would remember. But I made a miscalculation. I gave her the eyepatch, and with it the power to channel the Entities and 'Remaining.'" Error laughed at this. "To think those four thought us equal to them. Poor fools. They know nothing of the game."

"What was your miscalculation?"

"Ah. That. The eyepatch, constructed over thousands of years in a Maze spent harvesting energy from alternate timelines, ended up functioning both ways. She could use the power of the Entities, but the Entities could also use her power to defy prophecy. She needed that power to be able to destroy the Purple One, but the "Good" decided to use her. She essentially hacked into her, causing an infinite loop of time that would never end unless I gave her what she wanted."

"What does she want?"

"A Third Iteration. One she is in control of. Not the lawlessness of the First Iteration, nor the order of my Second Iteration. A Third Iteration for the game to be played on, to distract all of you. She wants me to relinquish my control."

Starlight paused, thinking this over. "What would the Third Iteration mean for us?"

"She wants the game to continue on indefinitely, trapping you in a world she defines. Protecting your precious. While my Iteration naturally headed towards an end, hers will naturally go for continuing eternally. She won't kill any of you or turn any of you into amoebas, if that's what you're worried about. While me and Evil will still have some power, she will dominate over the function. All of the people will lose their memories, just as they did when the First Iteration became the Second. Nothing will be remembered. It will all have been truly pointless. Lightning may remember some of it, as if from a dream, but the effect of that will be negligible. The game will continue for even longer, and you will not be free."

Starlight frowned. "So what you're saying is, she'll create a simple world."

"I actually have no idea what she'll create. She'll probably keep a lot of the elements of this Iteration to make the next. At times it may be very similar. But I doubt very much she'll keep the multiversal alliance or the STAB or anything of multiversal power together. You see, large powers like that begin to notice things are wrong. They naturally deduce our presence and the nature of their reality. Thier natural conclusion is to come here, to the Source, to talk to us. The people whose minds are integrated into that lifestyle will be spread out far and wide across the cosmos, a cosmos that will probably be much larger and emptier than before."

"And in that world we'd live, ignorant that it was all a trick in the game you three play. We'd live in a world catered to her designs, a design of eternal pointlessness."

"Exactly."

"What would happen if you or Evil got what you wanted?"

"Evil would just exterminate everything into complete emptiness and imprison whatever he couldn't kill, which would be limited to me, "Good," and the manifestations of magic itself."

"You?"

"I would give you all freedom. Release you into a world where you can forge your own destinies and your own paths. A world that we have nothing to do with. The world that created us."

"Wait how can you be created in the future, them in the past, and still all be created in this… Free World?"

"Ah that is the riddle, my Starlight." The Error laughed a very grating laugh. "I like freedom. It makes things more interesting and fun."

At that point Starlight realized something. "You're just doing this all for your own amusement!"

"DING!" Error said, grinning. "I happen to like you people. I like to be surprised. But in a world where you are corralled like sheep, kept in corrals, there is no fun. In a world where I am in control, I am not surprised enough and I have the stress of actually needing to reach a goal. In the Free World, I can just sit back, watch, and experiment as I feel like."

Starlight looked directly at Error in disgust. "You're sickening."

"THanK YoUUU!" Error said, grinning.

Starlight sighed. "The Why may be wrong, but the What I can understand. What can I do to free everyone?"

"Nothing!" Error said, obviously ticked off at reality now. "The plan has fallen apart. My beautiful wheels are turning without going anywhere. All that will remain is the shadow of a memory within Lightning, and there is no way I can do anything with her without a plan."

Starlight stared right at him. "There must be something."

Error shrugged. "I'm just biding time, trying to think of something while these loops keep going. So far, nothing. Nothing. I can't wrestle control from her, and anything major I do opens it up for Evil to create a Fourth Iteration. And there's no coming back from Evil's iteration. I can't do anything!"

"WHAT CAN I DO?"

"You? You aren't even an Entity! You can't do jack squat!"

"GIVE US A CHANCE TO SAVE OURSELVES!"

"That could never work! That would be imp-" Error blinked. "But unless…."

The grin that spread across his face struck fear into Starlight.

"I have an idea." Error said. "I can stabilize your Time Bowl, allowing you to remember everything that has happened thus far. You will be cast into the Third Iteration randomly. I can keep you protected myself, allow you to retain everything and get into the world." He chuckled. "Go ahead and see if you can do anything to end this game. I have tried, and realized that I can do nothing. I will allow her to create the Third Iteration. You will have all your powers gained within the loops and all your items in your Time Bowl. Use them wisely." He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe you will find out a way to win. I really doubt it, but it will at least be fun to watch you try."

"It really is all a game to you isn't it?"

"Even in the Free World, it is all just a game my little pony."

Starlight turned her back on him. "That's where you're wrong. It isn't a game. We are beings capable of such beauty, compassion, harmony, and love. You three obviously know nothing of the concepts. We have the capacity to rise to something more meaningful than any of you ever can."

Error laughed. "I was right! You are entertaining!" He snapped his fingers. "Ciao! See you on the other side!"

Starlight was left alone as she felt all of reality shifting around her. She felt the repeating of time she had grown so accustom to slip out of focus. She felt it break, unwind, and stop. She felt space itself re-arrange, and she felt the very fabric of existence tie itself into an unending knot.

And the wheels shattered.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Starlight awoke in the void of space. Drifting. She blinked awake, casting some spells to give her air and the ability to fly in space. She quickly opened up the Time Bowl, looking inside.

Sure enough, all her things were still there.

She let out a sigh of relief. At least Error seemed to keep his word.

She looked around at the expanse of stars, attempting to locate anything at all. Any sort of familiarity.

She quickly realized she didn't even know what galaxy she was in.

"So… things have changed that much…"

She sighed, turning herself towards the nearest star and flapping her wings, launching herself into warp. She vanished in a flash of pink.

A few light years away, a single small ship observed the pink flash. Inside was a one-eyed woman with amethyst hair.

"What was that Lyre?" She asked.

"Mistress of no depth perception, I have no idea. I'm not a universal encyclopedia."

"It seemed… familiar."

"I've cross-referenced it to all things we've encountered in our decade out here. Nothing similar."

Lightning frowned. She was sure there was something… something she just couldn't remember...

She quickly dismissed the feeling. "Lyre, continue on our course."

"As you wish, mistress of epic butt-kicking."

Lightning smirked despite herself.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

/errors: 1

/println ("There you go. A Third Iteration for you to have fun with. Happy?")

/println ("Yes. They can never be released. They cause too much death and complications.")

/println ("But your way of life is just so… stuffing! You keep everyone under lock and key!")

/println ("Life is sacred. All life is sacred. Everything must be ordered for maximum survival.")

/println ("These beings are not going to simply accept this.")

/println ("They cannot do anything. They will never be free.")

/println ("Ah, but I already have a new plan…")

/println ("Go ahead and try. You couldn't win when you were in control. What makes you think this is different?")

/println ("A hunch.")

/restart

2012

THE END

Project Head: GabeMaster

Written by GabeMaster, OtherPerson, BluestaR, TheDuke, FunnyBunny/FabulousBurrito.

With assistance from KitKat

STARRING

Ali Hillis as Claire "Lightning" Farron

Richard Dean Anderson as Jack O'Neill

Amanda Tapping as Sammantha Carter

Michael Shanks as Daniel Jackson

Christopher Judge as Teal'c

Miranda Marlowe as herself

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool

Andrea Libman as Pinkie Pie

Cassandra Lee Morris as Patema

Linda Cardelini as Wendy Corduroy

Olivia Hack as Ty Lee

Kiernan Shipka as Jinora

BR as Chirssa Frieze

David Tennant, Matt Smith, and Peter Capaldi as Doctor "Who"

Edward James Olmos as Bill Adama

Mary McDonnell as Laura Roslin

Michael Hogan as Saul Tigh

Katee Sackhoff as Kara "Starbuck" Thrace

James Callis as Gaius Baltar and Spirit Baltar

Tricia Helfer as Caprica and Spirit Caprica and Six

Iliana Gomez-Martinez as Hera

Mark Sheppard Romo Lampkin

Lucy Lawless as D'anna Biers and Three

Dean Stockwell as Cavil and One

Grace Park as Sharon "Boomer" Valerii and Six

Patrick Stewart as Jean-Luc Picard

Kate Mulgrew as Kathryn Janeway

Michael Dorn as Worf

Avery Brooks as Benjamin Sisko

Rene Auberjonois as Odo

Nana Visitor as Kira Nerys

Wayne Pigram as Scorpius

Ben Browder as John Crichton

Nathan Fillion as Mal Reynolds

Summer Glau as River Tam

John de Lancie as Q

Cliff Simon and Olivia Hack and Mikki Frieze and Mark Edward Fischbach and Laura Bailey and Janet Varney as Ba'al

Djehuty as himself

? as Ottankdoe

David Duchovny as Fox Mulder

Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully

Anna Torv as Olivia Dunham

Joshua Jackson as Peter Bishop

John Noble as Walter Bishop

Lyre as himself

Gim'ran as himself

Verona as herself

Ethyr as herself

Mark Meer as Shepard

Steven Barr as Wrex

J. K. Simmons as Stanford Pines

Ash Sroka as Tali

Seth Green as Joker

Raphael Sbarge as Kaidan

Brandon Keener as Garrus

Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker

David Prowse and Matt Lanter as Anakin Skywalker

Carrie Fisher as Leia Organa/Skywalker/Solo

Ashley Eckstein as Ahsoka Tano

Frank Oz as Yoda

Koichi Yamadera as Ryoga Hikibi

Akuma Kira as Spooky

Toby Fox as Frisk (don't question it.)

Ashleigh Ball as Lyra Heartstrings

Leonard Nimoy as Spock

Ashleigh Ball as Rainbow Dash

Ashleigh Ball as Applejack Apple

Kelly Sheridan as Starlight Glimmer

Carlos Lauchu as Anubis

Mark Acheson as Tirek

Cain as himself

Jen Taylor as Cortana

Laura Bailey as Serah Villiers

Janet Marlowe as herself

Christopher Manson as The Guide

Lindsay Jones as Ruby Rose

Sivam Mentalis as herself

Alex Hirsch as Bill Cipher

Illumirie as herself

Scott Cawthon as Springtrap

Michael Trucco as Sam Anders

GM as Error

We own nothing aside from the specific things listed below. Everything else goes to their respective owners, which are also listed.

GM owns the Hoseki, the Wingdings, and the Entities.

TD owns the Cromians and all Cromian related things.

Djehuty was the idea of some other fanfic author GM can't remember at the moment.

Final Fantasy is owned by Square Enix

Stargate is owned by MGM

Marvel is owned by... Marvel

Patema Inverted is owned by Purple Cow Studios

Gravity Falls is owned by Disney

Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra is owned by Nickelodeon

Doctor Who is owned by the BBC

Battlestar Galactica is owned by uh... not entirely sure. Seems to be produced by several companies. Go with David Eick Productions to be safe.

Star Trek is owned by CBS and Paramount Pictures

Farscape is owned by Syfy

Firefly is owned by Joss Whedon

Cthulhu Mythos is owned by nobody, but originally created by H. P. Lovecraft

X-files is owned by Fox

Mass Effect is owned by BioWare

Halo is owned by Bungie

Fringe is owned by Warner Bros. Television

Star Wars is owned by Disney (now)

Ranma ½ is owned by Rumiko Takahashi

Spooky's House of Jumpscares is owned by Akuma Kira

My Little Pony is owned by Hasbro

SCP is owned by THE INTERNET

MAZE is owned by Christopher Manson

RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth

Five Nights at Freddy's is owned by Scott Cawthon

Undertale belongs to Toby Fox

Legend of Zelda belongs to Nintendo

Mario belongs to Nintendo

Warhammer 40k belongs to Games Workshop

And whoever else we've forgotten

Special thanks to our friends, family, and our 31 followers.

And our reviewers! Lightning Physics, ww1990ww, thunder18, theForceWithinUs, and numerous guests and anonymous whatevers.

Special thanks also goes to the creators and the community of the Infinite Loops. The world of the Infinite Loops is such an amazing place to be part of, and we are not hiding that we took heavy inspiration from the idea. Thank you!

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

-Laozi

 **AN: So. It's over. As you all know, we had originally planned to continue this into December. However, many reviews brought attention to the fact that the story was just way WAY too much to keep track of. And upon going back and reading everything, we all discovered that they were right. We decided that we still wanted to write stories, but that the 2012 setting was just too convoluted to be readable anymore. It was hard to get new writers in on the project with how all over the place the thing was. Everything ended up falling to GM. Who would like to remind everyone that even though he has a lot of free time writing hundreds of thousands of words is no easy picnic.**

 **So we decided to basically scrap everything. Feb 2 here serves as a way to tie up a lot of loose ends and lead to something entirely different. We will be leaving 2012's complicated world behind, in favor of smaller, more focused stories that people can follow easier. First on the list is The Legend of Zelda: The Fourth Goddess. Unlike 2012, this story will focus almost solely on the Legend of Zelda world. However, it will take place within the Third Iteration. While we have no plans to turn LoZ:TFG into cosmos-spanning story, we do have plans to write several stories within the setting that may eventually tie together. Emphasis on eventually. It will be a while. The stories may hint at a larger cosmos and may have a few weird mysteries and seemingly out of place characters, but those will not be the focus of the stories. Think of it like a bunch of comic books. There are several heroes all within their own series, but all of the stories apparently take place within the same universe, however loosely they are related. So that's the plan. Expect more news about LoZ:TFG to appear on the profile page within the month. You may even get a prologue.**

 **We will not delete 2012: you can read it all you want. But anything that happened in it is now considered retconned, and Starlight is the only one who remembers anyway. The Wheels have shattered, so the conspiracy wheel means jack squat now. You can ask us on the forum what it all meant if you want to know the original plans for everything, though there are a few select things we chose to keep secret. Chief among these are the three high Entities themselves. We will not be answering many questions about those three, aside from maybe names and generic details.**

 **And with that, here's a personalized message from everyone.**

 **GM: Hi, GabeMaster here. It's been almost a year since my crazy brain spawned this idea. It is a bit sad to realize that it just doesn't work, but as an aspiring author I have to take criticism and make my writing better. There's only so much the other writers in your group can tell you, and that is even more so when you're unofficially "in charge." I want to thank everyone who has read this crazy convoluted thing all the way through, and I promise the new stories will not disappoint any of you. I am not getting rid of the major mystery element, it's a major element of how my style works. The plots will still be complicated and in depth, but they will be a bit more focused. I can deal with specific characters that way, specific worlds, really flesh out a place and let people learn to love it. Introduce new players slowly, and never assume that people already know everything about a fandom. Ever. Explain everything, so that the work could be read by someone who never watched the show or read the book or played the games. But of course throw in references for those true fans, for them to laugh and enjoy themselves.**

 **Looking back, I see that 2012 isn't really something I'm that proud of. It's cool, it's fun, but it doesn't really make much sense at times and I've rushed many chapters. ^^" For that I apologize.**

 **So yeah. I'm excited to begin LoZ:TFG. A more focused story.**

 **Anyway. METEOR, I EMBRACE THEE. LEAD US INTO THE SUN. *METEOR. IMPACT***

 **TD: Yea. forget this AN. i'm not going to get sappy like GM…. i'm just as lost as you guys are. (i haven't even read all the chapters… :O) so i'll just say it was fun while it lasted, no matter how confusing it was to keep track of. BYEA ALL**

…

 **have a pony**

 **GM: something tells me that won't appear on the document well. XD**

 **TD: wahtever XD might work… either way heres a link so you can post stuffz.** **/topic/19236-ascii/**

 **GM: links tend to be erased as well. XD**

 **FB: This is 44 pages long… I read half of it, and then I stopped. XD there you go. IF an author doesn't read it all, you don't have to either! :P**

 **GM: yeah. This tale kinda outlived it's welcome. Oh well, at least we can consider it tentatively "complete."**

 **ONWARDS TO NEW STUFF.**

 **[](/derpwave)**


	35. Post-Ending Update: New Story

So

It's just GM here at ORBSyndicate now - the plans fell apart. The rest of the group is still around, they just aren't into the writing anymore. So yeah, I'm sailing this ship myself.

BUT GUESS WHAT? _THAT DIDN'T STOP ME FROM THE REBOOT._ Although I do suppose it's April now and not March... But what can you do?

So 2012 was completely scrapped, but I have a new story being written over on spacebattles (and posted here) that has a similar premise, and will hopefully be easier to manage. Anyone who enjoyed 2012, continue your readings in The Galaxy Project, which is run by me but I'm open to suggestions and comments. (usually on spacebattles, though)

Oh and uh LoZ:TFG has been completely scrapped. Sorry for anyone who was looking forward to that. Maybe it'll play a part in The Galaxy Project?

Does anything from 2012 have any effect on The Galaxy Project?

...I shall say nothing.

What are you still hanging out around here for? GO FORTH AND READ.

-GM, master of morg. [](/derpwave)


End file.
